Should Married Women Maintain Financial Independence?

In this deeply honest conversation, we unpack one of the most important and often avoided topics in relationships: financial independence in marriage and motherhood.

What does it really mean to be financially independent in a partnership? Should couples keep money separate, combine everything, or build a hybrid system based on income percentages?

We explore real-life experiences of balancing careers, motherhood, and marriage—and what happens when financial structures aren’t clearly discussed. From stay-at-home motherhood and unpaid labor, to divorce, 401Ks, and financial insecurity, this episode opens up the conversations many couples never have until it’s too late.

We also dive into:

• The emotional impact of not earning an income while raising children
• How financial control (or lack of transparency) affects relationships
• Divorce realities and rebuilding financial independence
• The importance of financial literacy for women
• Why “hard conversations” about money should happen early in relationships

This is not about right or wrong—it’s about awareness, preparation, and empowerment.

Whether you're married, divorced, a parent, or building your financial future, this episode will make you rethink how money, value, and partnership truly connect.

#momlife #momstruggles #workingmom #momtruth #financialindependence 

00:00 – Feeling financially “less than” in a relationship
Opening reflection on self-worth and not contributing financially.

04:00 – Should women be financially independent in marriage?
Debate on separate accounts vs shared money systems.

08:00 – Percentage-based financial systems in relationships
How couples split expenses based on income ratios.

12:00 – The reality of being a stay-at-home parent
Sacrifice, home building, and invisible labor.

16:00 – Divorce and the financial shock afterward
Loss of security, income reduction, and rebuilding life.

20:00 – Unpaid labor and feeling undervalued
Emotional toll of raising children without financial recognition.

24:00 – Resentment, imbalance, and communication breakdown
How emotional and financial imbalance affects marriages.

28:00 – Financial literacy gaps women face
Credit cards, mortgages, and lack of financial education.

32:00 – Divorce, 401Ks, and legal financial complexity
Negotiations, retirement accounts, and legal systems.

36:00 – Society’s pressure on working vs staying home
Judgment, expectations, and conflicting standards for women.

40:00 – Value, control, and emotional labor in relationships
Feeling unseen when contributions aren’t monetary.

44:00 – Advice: financial independence & hard conversations early
Why couples should plan financially for “what if” scenarios.

Thank you for being here! And remember, you are NOT alone and you are Not done.

xxx Andrea & Kouelee

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

I know I'm valuable and I know what I gave them is invaluable. At the time I remember feeling less valid because I didn't have a financial input. I didn't have I always didn't work where I might need out that that I felt useful.

SPEAKER_03 0:23

Even though I welcome back to that guy. So many things I want to share on this topic. Yeah. So many things I want to hear on this topic. Should women be financially independent? Does that mean a separate bank account? Does that mean separate everything? Having to ask permission. You could use my money, I could use your money. If we go on a vacation, it's our money. If I want to buy a dress, it's my money.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

Well, let me ask you, with you and one, because you both have you've both worked since I've known you.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

You have amazing careers and you have a family at home. So I know in previous things that we've discussed, you do you have complete financial difference? So do you earn your money he earns his and you have a bank account that you both put into and that pays that pays the mortgage? Is it split evenly down the lip the middle? Because to me, that's what financial independence would look like in a healthy marriage. Yeah. Well, you know, if that's what they chose to do.

SPEAKER_03 1:55

Yeah. So everything is separate. He has his money, I have my money, and we've always split everything down to how much we earn, if that makes sense. So a percentage, right? So if you earn this much money, you paid that percentage.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

40% of the mortgage, and you pay 60% or whatever, whatever that looks like. Great.

SPEAKER_03 2:17

So whether it's he pays the full mortgage, I pay all the bills, the food, the school, whatever it whatever it equals to on the percentage.

SPEAKER_00 2:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:24

Doesn't matter who's paying it. That's just how we do it. If it's a vacation, we split it down the middle.

SPEAKER_01 2:31

I love that for you. I want to be, I don't think there's a wrong or a right way to do it. I'm just gonna come from a different point of view. As someone who went through a divorce that was a stay-at-home mom, that gave up their career to I don't want to say gave up my career. I have a strong career now, so I got back into it. But I chose, we chose for me to stay home and raise the kids. So that meant he built his career for 20 years, he built his salary for 20 years, he built his 401k for 20 years, and I stayed home, and I built the house and the home and the took care of the kids and everything that's involved in that, right? But there is no financial pay for that. And um now have gone through a divorce, and what that looks like on the other end, it's an absolutely petrifying place to be, you know, and you can add in spousal support and child support, and you can talk about that all day long. Those are all temporary things, right? Your child support is temporary. If you get marital spousal support, it's temporary. So how do you how do you close the gap? Right. So I'm gonna come from a divorce point of view. I got divorced. I have to before I was going through the divorce, I started my career back up because my kids were a little bit older and I had a bit more time. But that's gonna take me 10 years to build up to a place where I feel like I'm financially independent. Yeah. You know, and now I'm taking care of the house, the same house, the same children, more expenses on a third of the income of what we were used to. So I'm I'm super passionate about this because if I had known better, I would have had more in-depth conversations of okay, I'm gonna stay home with them. Yeah, how do we come to an agreement that the the gap between our careers? I don't get resentful. I was never resentful being home. I think it was I was absolutely blessed. My keep, you know, my bathroom is as old as shit, my car was old. Yeah, there's a lot of things that I gave up to be home so I could be present with them. And I'm so grateful for that. And he built his career, and I'm I know he like adores his job, and like that's important for him. But then when we went through the divorce, I now don't have that financial security. Yeah. I you you even have to find your own medical insurance. So now I'm a stay-at-home mom with no income and no in no health insurance, right? So now all of a sudden, I still have to do the same job I was always doing before. I'm still, you still want to raise your kids, you still want to be there for all their things. How am I gonna make enough money to support us? Regardless, again, regardless of what he's financially putting in, it was still a third of what we were used to living with. That is so scary. Yeah. So if I had known more, I would have had something in place. I would have took a percentage of the salary and put it aside on the agreement. Like these have to be conversations, and these are uncomfortable conversations from marital people. My ex never wanted to have conversations financially. He would support, he would all the bills, I would pay all the bills from the joint account. His money would go in. It was never, he just never wanted that conversation.

SPEAKER_03 6:00

Like me asking for money from my spouse, in a sense, shouldn't feel uncomfortable because you're married.

SPEAKER_01 6:09

Right.

SPEAKER_03 6:10

But I I would feel uncomfortable still. No, I'm because in a sense, I would be like, I'm not putting in money, but I want to take it out, but yet I'm the one raising the kids. Shouldn't there be something for unpaid labor?

SPEAKER_01 6:27

So I the money that came in was freely available to both of us. Yeah, it was never I never felt like I had to say, can I get a dress?

SPEAKER_00 6:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 6:36

But it was more of a I would be doing balance in the checkbook, right? So he let's say he just went out and bought something. I'd be like, hey, yeah, especially at the beginning, you know, when your kids are little and you've got a mortgage and and your career isn't exactly where you want it to be, but you're building your career and I'm a stay-at-home mom. You don't really have, we didn't have surplus money that we could just freely spend. So I never but I never felt like I needed to ask. If I needed something, it was it was a given. I never felt like I had to ask. I never felt guilty about spending money, but I know there are people out there, but I'm very I can be frugal too. So I wouldn't, I wouldn't go out and spend money unless I I like really needed something. Address because the the baby's getting christened. Yeah. I think where I would spend money was always trying to get to visit my family because I felt so alone. Yeah. Like I wanted to go back or I wanted to take my kids back to where their mum was raised. So that I would feel guilty about. But what I'm what I'm trying to say is if I had known better, I would make sure that I was financially set in case in case of a divorce. And again, you don't want to go into a marriage planning for a divorce.

SPEAKER_03 7:54

But I think I do feel like you you should, though, for the actual divorce, but planning for god forbid something happens. Yeah, it could be a divorce, it could be your spouse passing away. It could be I do think that you need to be some sort of financial independent.

SPEAKER_01 8:10

There's a lot of people out there that don't know. For instance, I am gonna go out off on a tangent on this one, financial independence, just because, for instance, I've I've dealt with friends that are, I've got to sell my house. Can you sell my house? Well, do you really need to sell your house? Like, you don't let's have a look. Maybe you can remortgage, maybe you can assume your mortgage, right? So maybe you don't have to remortgage for a 7% rate. Maybe you can assume that mortgage the rate that you have. Maybe it's a 3% rate. People don't know this, yeah, especially if they've been in a situation where, let's just say, for instance, the husband's worked, built his career, they've stayed at home, and he's had complete control of the money. And there's women out there that have no idea. They don't know when the mortgage is due or how they're gonna pay it, or or any of those things. And I can completely understand how people end up in that situation. They're taking care of the house, they're taking care of the kids, they're doing what they were, what they agreed to do in their marriage, right? That works for their marriage. And then all of a sudden they're faced with divorce.

SPEAKER_03 9:13

Maybe I think that it's important for women to, yeah, if there's bills to be paid, know what those bills are to begin with. I think 100%.

SPEAKER_01 9:21

I and I took care of the bills. He paid the bills, but I took care of them. This this is personal, but when we got divorced, he called and we were separate, he called me and said, I think it when's my car payment due. So it was either way for us. Yeah, he he didn't want to deal with it.

SPEAKER_03 9:36

I feel like women are not put into positions where they're trusted with that information. Um like I had no idea when I got my first credit card. I kid you not, probably people are gonna come for me in the comments, but I had no clue that well, no, that I knew. I had no idea when I was 21 that the minimum payment was not gonna pay off my card. I was here making my minimum payments thinking, yeah, my card, it's gonna pay off. That's all they need. I had no idea. And so I'm sitting there like with credit card debt at 22, 23 years old. Yeah, I had no idea.

SPEAKER_01 10:17

I think there's nothing more empowering than being financially independent, and that's coming from someone who has been on their own since 15, paid their own rent, bought their own house by the time they were 21, had a career, moved to America, got married, and chose to stay at home. So I have had financial independence. Yeah, I then went into a marriage where we both wanted a parent at home because neither of us had had that. And now he's financially the earner and I'm the carer. Yeah. So that's all fine and dandy and it's wonderful. But when you then the marriage is not working, he has a 401k, he has a career, he has great credit, right? Because if he's been building those things why I've been building our home, I just if I had known more, I would have done more.

SPEAKER_03 11:10

I don't know exactly what that looks like because not everybody has the thing is it's like when you're in it, you're in it, and I feel like you've had such a gift that so many people would want to stay at home with the with the kids that even can't even do it. I I remember before I gave birth to Adriana, I said I'm coming back in three months. It was not even a question. It nobody even thought I could be a mom, let's be honest, no, because work was everything to me. Right.

SPEAKER_01 11:43

We just knew that you would miss your job.

SPEAKER_03 11:45

I mean, I was working while I was in labor.

SPEAKER_01 11:48

But you say that's your work ethic.

SPEAKER_03 11:51

But the moment she was born, the moment she was born, there was no way I was going to go back to work after three months. And luckily for me, I unlucky for so many people, but COVID happened and my entire team got moved to work from home. And yeah, I was working while raising her, but I would have never gone back to work. So the fact that willingly you wanted to do that, and you got to do that with both of the kids is the most beautiful thing because I went through hell working from home, and people thought it was a vacation and you work less or whatever the case may be. It was absolute hell with a newborn.

SPEAKER_01 12:36

Taking care of kids is a full-time job. Taking care of a home is a full-time job. Going to work is a full-time job, and working from home is a full-time job. So I I think if I'd known more, if I could, if I could prepare anybody, first say I'm raising the girls to be financially independent no matter what. And if they choose to stay at home with their kids or their partner choose to stay at home with their kids, I think I would have, I would have wanted my own 401k. I want to wanted certain things put in place because you can't, no matter what, you can't meet that career gap. He's had a he's been able to build his career for let's say the 10 years of our marriage, right? He's been able to build that career. He hasn't had to think about the kids, their appointments, the house, the bills, nothing. He has had soul, like mental capacity to 100% give every ounce of him to his job. And he did, and that was part of our marriage breakdown. But he did, and he has an amazing career with a fantastic salary, right? And he earned that, but now we're divorced. How do I there's no way of meeting that gap. There's no way of me getting back into the workforce and all of a sudden having those same things because I didn't work for that.

SPEAKER_03 13:54

But did you ever have is there some point in your marriage where you had resentment towards the choice you made?

SPEAKER_01 14:01

I never resented staying home. Not once, not even to this day, before in between, when I was in the thick of it, I never ever resented being home. I know that is that was a gift. So I don't resent that at all. I just wish I had financially been more prepared.

unknown 14:33

Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 14:37

Yeah, no, I I uh I know I know how this topic for you and I always talk about you to other moms knowing that and your age when you got a divorce and having nothing and the life you've built for them now. Yeah. That's why I'm saying you're still goals. You have to keep divorced, you know, and it it brings me back to like my mom raising us three girls on her own, doing whatever she had to do. And that's fucking hard. That's that's uh that's a whole different type of person.

SPEAKER_03 15:29

Like when I was grazing divorce, like I had thoughts of how am I gonna walk my dog if I'm divorced. I didn't even think of anything like that. And I wasn't scared, if that makes sense. But in your situation, I think I think I would have been somebody that wouldn't have been able to leave the marriage because of it.

SPEAKER_01 15:57

I am so stubborn when it comes to if it is not working anymore and I know I've given my everything, I'm gonna keep moving. I'm gonna keep I'm gonna change things. If I'm unhappy in something and I've tried and I know I've given it my best, then I'm gonna, then I'm gonna I'm gonna move. I'm gonna change something. I can't keep doing the same thing and expecting different results, right? That's like one thing that people say all the time. I watch people do that all the time. So even though I was really, I'm telling you, I was really, really scared financially, not and and you know, divorce is hard, right? So you don't want to tell your kids that mommy and daddy are getting divorced or or however that picture looks for you. Financially, I know, I know I'm always gonna be okay because I I I know I listen, our clean toilets, yeah, I don't care. I'll do whatever I need to do to financially take care of my kids. Yeah, and he financially takes care and does what he's supposed to do. I don't think that you should be praised for that. Like that is, these are your children, but it's nothing compared to what raising kids' costs and keeping a roof over our head and the three dogs that were left in the house that I adored and that had no problem taking care of. All of those things they kept the house and the bills and I and all of the things that came with it, and now I had a third of the income. Yeah, I would still do in all of that. If you told me that, I still would have stayed home with my kids because I know that that was for for me and for them in our situation and not everybody's for me, for them, it was the biggest gift I've ever been able to receive.

SPEAKER_03 17:41

It is, anyways. That's why that's why I was saying that sometimes I wish I could go back to the traditional mom to be home and to not have a job.

SPEAKER_00 17:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:52

And the thing is, I technically don't need a job, you know. Financially, Juan makes good enough money, you know, that I don't need to have a job. You could manage, yeah. But I don't think I'm cut out. I don't think I'm cut out to be a stay-at-home mom. I think that is the hardest job, and mentally I don't think I'm equipped for that. Like in it makes me sad.

SPEAKER_02 18:21

Because it makes me question myself as a mom.

SPEAKER_01 18:27

But I don't think I could ever do it. I think you're a phenomenal mom, and those girls are incredibly loved. I think you are just so passionate about your job, but you are incredibly passionate about your kids. You adore them, and and when you're like, I mean, I love them more than anything.

SPEAKER_03 18:48

But I think because of situations like that, I don't want to show them any different because I don't know that if I wasn't working, my marriage would work. Like, gonna be honest.

SPEAKER_01 19:02

That's that's truth right there, right? Like, oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03 19:06

Yeah, it would be because there is some sort of imbalance, you know, and and and and one of the questions that I had for you is that he took care of the finances uh just about money in that sense, or was it about control, you know, being imbalance as in you could never be equal, no, because you what you brought to the table as much as there's nothing better than what you brought to the table, it was not tangible.

SPEAKER_01 19:38

So this is this is a real touchy subject, and I'm h I'm happy to share on it. I just don't know if I'm gonna eloquently be able to put it into words. And this is how I felt. So I'm gonna just start there, right? This is this is the way I felt during the end of my marriage. I felt like I had no value because I felt like my ex-husband valued things financially so monetarily, right? So he I felt this is just my feelings, that he was more that he felt that his needs and his way was more important because he had a financial attachment to that. Like he was getting paid to do what he does, and it was very important to him, right? Now, what I was doing was very important. You didn't get paid for that. I did not, I there was no, there was nothing there that says you're worth this. And it this is something that I've had to work through and get past because I know I'm valuable and I know what I gave them is invaluable. At the time I remember feeling less than because I didn't have a financial input. I didn't have I would always do part-time jobs and and do whatever I could wherever I could to make sure that we were, you know, that that I felt useful. Yeah. Even though what I was doing was incredibly important and useful. Yeah. And maybe that's on me and nothing to do with him. But I did feel you're right, there is an imba there was an imbalance, and may that's not for everybody, but in our house there was an imbalance, I felt like I wasn't valued. I felt like I felt like I just wasn't important and and because I didn't have a paycheck attached to me.

SPEAKER_03 21:32

That is mom, I can't even. Yeah, there's a lot of reasons that the marriage didn't work, but there was but just for you to have to feel like that is incredibly like hard to listen to just because being a mom, like, and obviously I see it raising my kids and how hard it is, it is fucking hard. I don't Think there's anything harder than that. And so for you on top of that to try and raise girls feeling like that? Right.

SPEAKER_01 22:09

I think that was part of the sadness in the house was just and then resentment grows. And then with resentment. So now you're so let's go back to being exhausted. Now you're a little resentful. Now you feel like you have no value. How can you possibly then like not have not have any more? And then you still have your needs.

SPEAKER_03 22:32

You still want a partner that can be a partner because in their eyes it's completely looks differently. Correct.

SPEAKER_01 22:41

Or maybe they had resentment because they were working all these hours. I don't know. You know, like you don't know because if the communication's not there and the resentment is there and the exhaustion is there and the imbalance is there, but the communication is not there, that's just a recipe for disaster. Yeah. So then your divorce. So now we fast forward. Now I'm going through a divorce, trying to pay bills with a third of the income. Oh, and by the way, now you're officially divorced and you need to go find health insurance. Well, guess who's self-employed and finding health insurance? So now you want a healthy person to continue to raise your kids. How do I how do you do that? How do you then find more money to cover health insurance? I I mean, I would just the more I could do this all day long about financial because I just I wished other women had more knowledge on it. I wish I had more knowledge on it.

SPEAKER_03 23:35

I don't I don't even think I have enough knowledge on it. I think unless you're really in the field, yeah uh being a financial advisor or were raised with parents who knew about money. I don't think you can ever be fully intelligent on the subject. I still don't know everything. I still don't know how to truly invest properly, or you know, obviously I put money aside and I have a 401k, I have a retirement, I don't really know what they do. I'm not gonna lie. No, I really don't.

SPEAKER_01 24:07

That's the thing. When when one is staying at home and one is building their career and putting into their 401k, yes, there's a whole divorce process, and yes, it's we had nothing when we met, right? We had nothing when we met. We bought a house when we met, we had children after we met. He obviously had his his career before that, and then built on that, right? So you know, obviously there's a process, and then you you go through negotiations, which then, by the way, it sometimes takes forever. And guess who's getting paid? Attorneys, yeah. So you go through that process of negotiation. So even though he paid into the 401k, and technically that's shared, there's a part of you that feels icky because now I'm I'm fighting for his 401k, but this is really deep, this is like personal, but so part of you feels icky, but the other part of you is like, but I stayed at home and raised the kids and I have no retirement. And the the you know, the law is like that is all both of yours, but it's still because it's in his name, yeah, and it went through his career, his job, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 25:19

It it it's there's just so many things on that subject that just feel unfair, even going back to me giving birth before that. I didn't even really have an understanding, obviously, what mothering is like, but after giving birth and realizing that you're giving me three months with my child, I would have probably quit my job if COVID didn't happen. Yeah, and all the women that have to quit their jobs are getting fired from their jobs because the kids are sick, they have to take time off. Single moms, especially, can't afford daycare, can't find a job that is child-friendly, but yet you want me to contribute to society, you want me to raise financially independent kids. You're gonna judge me if I don't go to work, you're gonna judge me if I go to work, but my kids are sick and now I need to be home and back because you want us to reproduce to have next generations, which by the way is going down more and more because people don't even want to get married, they don't even want kids. Because we're accepting less and less not only that that's not acceptable anymore.

SPEAKER_01 26:41

That behavior's not acceptable anymore.

SPEAKER_03 26:44

They want just time, is what matters to them. Their own time, going on vacation, having experiences is what matters the most to them. I think they're smart 100%.

SPEAKER_01 26:54

Yeah, yeah, because they've watched they probably watch their parents struggle.

SPEAKER_03 26:58

But that's what I'm saying. That I don't want my kids to see that as much as I want my kids to see that, like the hustle that I have, I want them to be taken care of. I want them to have a partner, I want them to feel like it's equal.

SPEAKER_01 27:14

And I think no matter what you do, someone's gonna judge you. Yeah. Whether you stay home, whether you go to work, whether you do the business. Yeah. You know, then if you've got a side hustle, someone judges you. But I think that everyone should be.

SPEAKER_03 27:24

I mean, nobody no one that is doing more than you is gonna judge you. The only people that will judge you are people doing less.

SPEAKER_01 27:35

I like that. I never really thought about that. The only thing I would do differently is I would have had harder conversations. Yeah, I would have made sure that I had my own 401k that was paid into by by the house salary. I'm gonna call it the house salary because that feels better. So let's say the house salary, not just not your 401k, like as a let's say you're a stay-at-home dad and and and mom's going to work or who whoever, whatever your family dynamic looks like, right? One of the whoever's staying at home needs to have some kind of financial plan in place for the family. Because, like you were saying, it's not just divorce. What if your what if your partner was to pass away? Yeah, all of a sudden you've got nothing in place.

SPEAKER_02 28:22

Yeah. And that happens a lot every day, a lot, every day, and those are.

SPEAKER_01 28:36

Financial ruin because nothing was in place. I think if you're having those difficult conversations at the beginning of your relationship, you probably have more chance of your relationship being sustainable.

SPEAKER_03 28:47

Do you think men lose respect for women not earning money?

SPEAKER_01 28:51

And I think you kind of men out there that are quite happy financially taking care of a woman, and that's phenomenal because that works for them. There's women out there that are happy financially. I have women out there that I know that take care of their stay-at-home dad. Yeah. Does side jobs. It's fantastic. I think there's men out there that are more than happy and they value their partner and they see the value in what they're given, but I also think there's there's people out there that don't value it. Yeah. I think so. I had a question for you. Same similar, right? Like, do you think that it demasculine is that the word I'm looking for?

SPEAKER_02 29:33

You're asking an immigrant here.

SPEAKER_01 29:35

I am an immigrant. Do you think demascular because you have such a fantastic career and an and an income, or do you think that's really part of it?

SPEAKER_03 29:45

But not at all because he's financially successful as well. Right. You know, so if that was and and he's the one that tells me all the time, I would love to be a stay-at-home dad, you go to work. He tells me all the time, all the time. And I'm not gonna lie, my dream is to retire him for him to have that life. He loves what he does, and he's extremely good at it, you know. But I also know that he loves to just be with the girls. That's one thing that I knew about him. Our you know how our relationship started, and it was so rocky from the beginning, and even through cool, he knew even through this rockiness and back and forth. The one thing I knew is that one day he's gonna be the most amazing dad.

SPEAKER_01 30:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:34

You know, I knew partner is gonna take a lot of work on both ends, mostly his. But I knew he was gonna be an amazing dad to those girls and have the have the side that I don't have given to them, which is that's what it should be. It should be teamwork. If women stop doing the emotional and financial heavy lifting, would relationships survive? Oh no, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:02

Sorry, no one's gonna hate me for saying that.

SPEAKER_03 31:04

Not so either.

SPEAKER_01 31:05

There's men out there that do it all.

SPEAKER_03 31:07

And there's women that don't do nothing at all.

SPEAKER_01 31:09

100%. But what you just said, yeah, it would it would it would fall, something would fall apart.

SPEAKER_03 31:16

But this is also why I think that marriage is no longer on the table.

SPEAKER_01 31:22

I think that people are ex not accepting less than anymore.

SPEAKER_03 31:26

A lot of people are just happy not to be married, they might be in a relationship, but nope, don't want to get married.

SPEAKER_01 31:32

Yeah, I can't imagine sharing my space with anyone again. I that's me being honest. That's that's my safe place, that's my home, that's my kid's home. Yeah, I don't know. I say that now, the world could could the universe could hand me something that's absolutely magnificent, but I don't want to put that on my kid.

SPEAKER_03 31:50

I always said if me and him ever got divorced, I would be single for the rest of my life. I don't want to do it again. I'm not doing because if I'm at that point where I know I wasn't good enough for someone to try and make it work with me, I'm okay by myself because I know how to handle me. I don't need somebody else's emotional weight, yeah. I I I think labor.

SPEAKER_01 32:18

See, I come from a different uh like thought processor. I am worth every ounce that I am, and I'm not willing for anything less. So unless it's unless you show up from my house with a unicorn and just and maybe a couple of puppies, yeah, not really interesting. Then if that's not out there, that's okay because I love my life. Yeah, and I'm not gonna try and fill it with something that's not worth it.

SPEAKER_03 32:46

Yeah, but that's what they also they also say that divorced women or men are the best people to date. They say because yeah, you you already know what you don't want. You went through hell, you're ready or not ready.

SPEAKER_01 33:01

I think I could be wrong, but my communication skills, I'm not very good at at not telling you. But um even in my marriage, I was I would say this this isn't working. We need to work, like let's figure this out. Yes. Well, anybody out there that has a a question about financial independence or has any advice, any advice how other women out there that are maybe in a situation that they don't want to be in anymore.

SPEAKER_03 33:30

Any kind of any kind of advice or and that doesn't mean the situation just divorced that you just don't want to no longer be.

SPEAKER_01 33:38

Could be a 22-year-old in $50,000 worth of debt and doesn't know how to get out of it, you know?

SPEAKER_03 33:43

Like, yeah, I think that financial literacy is it's extremely important, especially more for us women. I think it's extremely helpful to have a village and be supported by other women who do have that information. I would love to know more.

SPEAKER_01 33:58

Yeah, I was lucky enough to be in a situation where when I was talking about remortgaging my home around the people that I work with, yeah. My the people were like, actually, Andrea, why don't you call your mortgage company and see if you can assume it? I would never have known that. Yeah, I would have remortgaged at a 699 rate when my rate is 399. So sorry to end on that, but the I would if if other women hadn't shared that with me, I wouldn't know. So I try and share that with as many people as as I can.

SPEAKER_03 34:26

Yeah, you know, so but yeah, if you have any tips on financial independence for anyone, really share or what works, you know, if people want to share what works in their marriage, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:41

That would be great too. I'm always curious how other people work their work their stuff. Yeah, what it looks like. Yeah. So for today, we're done.