Recognizing the Shifts That Go Unseen: Embracing Change and Self-Discovery

In this episode of the Real and Rooted podcast, Lori shares a heartfelt reflection on the quiet moments of change—those shifts that often go unnoticed but profoundly impact our lives. Tune in to explore how recognizing these subtle signals can lead to alignment and growth.

Main Topics:

•  The significance of unnoticed moments that signal transformation

• Differentiating success on the outside from internal alignment

• The emotional weight of work environments and unspoken pressures

• The decision to leave what no longer serves us and embracing new chapters

• Self-awareness as a tool for recognizing outgrown roles and shifting identities

• The importance of patience and grounding when transitioning between pursuits

• How to hold space for both success and misalignment simultaneously

• Preparing for what comes next without rushing into the next opportunity

Timestamps: 

00:00 - Introduction: noticing the moments that don't match expectations
 00:18 - The quiet realization of change and the importance of space
 00:40 - The story of leaving a beloved role and reactions from others
 01:00 - Recognizing internal disconnect versus external success
 01:27 - The weight of unspoken pressures in work environments
 01:50 - How leadership perceives and sometimes ignores underlying issues
 02:23 - The moment of internal realization: letting go of carry-over stress
 02:54 - The emotional toll of pressure and the choice to release it
 03:22 - The importance of self-awareness in identifying outgrown roles
 03:52 - Addressing masking emotions and the desire to just be oneself
 04:15 - Reflecting on the transition and preparing for what's next
 04:30 - Recognizing successes alongside feelings of misalignment
 04:55 - The necessity of closing chapters before starting new ones
 05:24 - Embracing uncertainty and excitement for future growth
 05:39 - Practical encouragement: reflect on the past week and what to carry forward
 05:59 - Closing thoughts and anticipation for the next conversation

Resources & Links:

• Book: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

Connect with Lori:

• Facebook

• Missing Pieces

Note: Walks through the process of tuning into subtle signs of change and encourages patience and compassion during transitions. Perfect for anyone feeling stuck or at a crossroads, seeking to honor their internal rhythm over external expectations.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Welcome to the Real and Rooted Podcast, where real stories mean grounded healing. I'm Laurie Kendall, founder of Reflective Roots, where I work as a grief navigator, a companion for the tough times in life, author of Missing Pieces, the Final Salute, and your host. Each week we'll explore the experiences, the losses, the breakthroughs, and the honest conversations that transform who we are becoming. This is a space to reconnect with yourself, reclaim the pieces that you've lost along the way, and grow in ways you never thought were possible or expected. Let's get rooted and begin. In Missing Pieces, the final salute, a mother's journey through service, sorrow, and survival, you'll walk through my story of preparing for the service of grief, of resilience, and rediscovery. And along the way, I hope you find space for your own story. This book isn't about being perfect. It's about becoming whole again, even when some pieces feel forever changed. Order your copy of Missing Pieces today on Amazon or at MissingPiecesBook.com. Join other readers who are finding their own story, encapsulate it within the pages. Gain insights and learn more at Real and Rooted Podcast, where real stories take root and healing grows. MissingPieces, the final salute, a mother's journey through service, sorrow, and survival. A story of love, loss, and becoming whole again. Hello and welcome to the Real and Rooted Podcast. I'm your host, Lori, and I am so glad that you have decided to join me this evening. Tonight's Sunday shoreline is going to be a little different because it's not about tying things up. You don't need the red fancy bow or glitter or confetti. It's just about noticing what's real, even when it doesn't match what everyone else sees. You see, I want to talk about the moments that no one else saw coming. And tonight we're going to start that conversation, but we're not going to finish it. Because some things, especially the big shifts, need a little space before we can even understand them. You see, we're talking about the moments that you stayed. Stayed out of obligation, stayed out of expectations put on to us by others. We stay because it's what's comfortable. But there's usually a moment in the week that sticks with you. It's not the obvious one. It's not one where people congratulate you for a job well done, a pat on the back, or even exceeding expectations. The one I'm talking about is that shift where it's often done quietly. Changes occur. And for some reason, you come to the realization that you're the one directing it. You see, for me it wasn't loud. It was the realization that I had already made a decision. After a conversation about me leaving the college, I was asked to give it more time. And truthfully, the only thing that more time gave me was a clearer picture of the level of disconnect and where I was going. You see, I stepped away from higher education, from something that felt for a long time like it was my dream. And what surprised me wasn't the decision to walk away. It was everyone else's reaction to it. Because the people I worked with on the daily basis, the ones that saw me or had conversations with me every day, they thought I was right where I was supposed to be. I was successful. I was building programs and altering the direction for the college in a positive way for parents and families alike. They saw success. But they didn't see my disconnect. You see, when perception doesn't match the reality, that's got to be the strangest place to stand. When people are affirming the version of your life that you no longer recognize as your own, they're celebrating something you're quietly preparing to leave behind, and quite frankly, it makes you pause. Not because you don't know what you need to do, but because you realize how much of your experience was never fully visible to begin with. And sometimes the people around you start showing up in ways that feel heavier. Not because of you, but because of what they are carrying. Frustration, burnout, pressure from above. And instead of it being addressed where it starts, it finds its way sideways onto conversations, onto expectations, and on to you. You see, what leadership sees and doesn't change is maybe the hardest part. It's them knowing that the highest levels of leadership are aware of it's happening. The constant pressure, the demand for more, the frustration that oftentimes looks different because it's manifested onto you when the frustration itself isn't a direct derivative from your being present. You see, they see the turnover, they hear the concerns, and they know the patterns, but nothing really shifts. So the people in the middle absorb it, and the people doing the work carry it. And from the outside, it still looks like success. But internally, I realized something. Somewhere along the way, the moment came. It's where you realize that I don't have to think this is mine anymore. I don't have to carry it. I don't have to withstand it. And I don't have to put myself through the pressure cooker. It's not the title, it's not the environment, it's not the version of success being handed to you. It's the realization that it doesn't always feel exciting. Sometimes that pressure feels like loss. I will say this has to be some of the hardest decisions I've made over the weeks. Because it is everything that I strive to do. And yet, it's not that I cracked in the pressure, it's that I chose not to have the pressure in my life anymore. I'm not just leaving a job, I'm leaving what I thought was going to be the rest of my life. So I'm gonna talk to you a little bit about the question that will carry into Wednesday. Here's what I want to do. I want to open the question tonight, not for an answer, but just let it open. What are you holding on to right now that looks successful on the outside, but doesn't feel aligned on the inside? There are times every day where I look and I feel or make myself look like I feel happy. I wear the mask, I position it just right so that I can make it through the day. And yet inside there are times when all I feel is sadness, hurt, pain. And there are times when I just want to cry. Not because I want anybody to ask me if I'm okay, but it's just to relieve the pressure. The pressure of showing everyone on the outside that I'm just fine. I'm making it through, and I'm strong. But man, what would it feel like just to be me once? Maybe we go a little deeper. Maybe we ask ourselves, what have we outgrown? What have we shifted or changed for ourselves because we have outgrown it and yet no one else has the realization of it yet. Now I don't want you to take this as an invitation to fix it. I don't want you to even explain it away. I just want you to notice it. So between now and Wednesday, pay attention to how this shows up for you. In conversations, in your energy, in the moment where something feels just slightly off, not wrong, but just no longer yours. You don't need a plan yet, you just need awareness. Because here's the truth that some people will not say. At times you're carrying both truths. You can still be good at something and still know it's not where you're supposed to stay. You can be seen as successful and still feel misaligned. Those things that can exist at the same time and recognize that. Recognize it for what it is. Not failure. Clarity. So tonight it isn't about what you're leaving, it's about recognizing something that has already shifted. On Wednesday, we're going to talk about what comes next. Not in the have it all figured out kind of way, but in a real grounded way. What it looks like to leave one version of a dream and not rush into the next one just to feel secure. Same space, different part of the conversation. Even if no one else sees it yet. Because success, it's around the corner. But you have to be willing to close the door first. You see, Sunday isn't about what is next. It's about recognizing the things that occurred the week prior. Tallying what was successful. Maybe what you need to carry to the week next. And those things that you just leave behind. You see, I closed the door to a chapter of my book that had already been written. And yet I'm daring to turn the corner to write the new story. The new chapter that becomes my life's story. I don't know what it is quite yet, but I'm excited to write it, and I want you to be excited to write your own story as well. So take consideration of what you went through this week. What was successful for yourself, and what you can let behind. Because tomorrow, tomorrow's a new week, and we get to write it all over again. I'll see you here on Wednesday night, and I look forward to diving into this deeper with you. Have a great night and a good start to a good week.