Beyond Outnumbered: Practical Survival Strategies for Parents of Multiple

What is it really like to bring home triplets? In this episode, we sit down with occupational therapist and new mom of triplet boys, Kylie McClellan. She shares the challenges, lessons, and supports that have helped her navigate postpartum life with multiples, along with practical tips for parents of twins, triplets, or more.

Link to our blog post with more information and resources: https://thepostpartumot.com/beyond-outnumbered-practical-survival-strategies-for-parents-of-multiple/

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Welcome to Functional Fourth Trimester, a podcast created to support new parents as they return to daily life after having a baby.

SPEAKER_03 0:12

Each episode will talk through common postpartum challenges, share practical education and strategies, and hear from real parents and healthcare professionals along the way.

SPEAKER_00 0:22

Whether you're listening during a feeding, a walk, or a quiet moment, this space is for you. I'm Lauren.

SPEAKER_03 0:28

And I'm Melissa, and we're excited to jump right into today's topic.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

One baby is hard enough. So what happens when you have two at once or even three? The diapers, the feedings, the responsibilities all multiplied. Welcome back to Functional Fourth Trimester, everyone. Today we are going to be talking about having multiple babies at once.

SPEAKER_03 0:53

I'm so excited to introduce our guest today, Kylie McClellan. She is an occupational therapist who is nine months postpartum with triplet boys. She's experienced four weeks in the hospital bed rest prior to having a C-section, and she's experienced with breastfeeding, formula feeding, and donor milk. We're so excited to have you with us today, Kylie.

SPEAKER_01 1:12

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 1:13

I'm excited to be here. Yeah, thank you so much for joining us today and taking the time. We're excited to talk with you. I would love to start off with just hearing about your experience finding out you were having triplets.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

We don't have any family history. We were not using drugs or anything like that. We have basically no risk factors for multiples. So I found out I was pregnant at like three and a half weeks. Um I had a very positive test. And at my eight-week confirmation ultrasound, the tech immediately found like two. It's very obvious. Um she was like, okay, hold on. Um kept scanning and found the third, three very strong heartbeats. My husband and I just sat there, like we were just like staring at the screen, and really like just kind of in shock because we were we were not expecting at all. We had jokingly said it might be twins because I was so sick and stuff like that. But really did not expect, definitely didn't expect triplets. Um, I kind of blame my husband because the night before the ultrasound, he's like, twins would be rough, but we could do it. But man, if it was triplets, like that was his exact comment that night. And then the next day we found out it was.

SPEAKER_00 2:22

Wow, I can only imagine that that must have been such a surprise. I feel like like twins is surprising enough sometimes. And so, let alone it being like, wait, there's a third baby. Um, especially too, like interesting that you didn't have any of the like kind of common risk factors of multiples.

SPEAKER_03 2:38

Yeah, not doing any sort of things that you know would lead to the potential of why we could have triplets, but nothing.

SPEAKER_02 2:46

That's funny. That would be that would have been a very shocking experience. Oh my I just like listening to you, I'm like, oh my word, I feel like I would have been like, wait, what? Like everything would have just paused, like all of life would have stopped moving.

unknown 3:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

Yeah, we were like, okay, there's all those plans, they just went out the window, like everything we had thought were we were like, okay, never mind.

SPEAKER_00 3:07

To any of it. Kind of to jump into some of the like obviously you've been nine months postpartum now. So like within that whole time frame, like what have you noticed are some of the biggest challenges with having multiple babies at once?

SPEAKER_01 3:20

Really, like the routines of it. Um, everybody says, like, get into a schedule and stick to it, and that is true with triplets. I can see with twins how you could just like feed on demand and do those kind of things, but with triplets, there is absolutely no way. Um, we were very lucky that they came home from the NICU really close together. So Owen came home at 45 days, Wesson and Thomas came home at 47, and so they're just two days apart. They were they weren't even at their due date yet. Um, we had a very uncomplicated, like straightforward NICU stay. And then they were on an every three-hour feeding schedule at that point from there, and we just kept that until this day, that's still what we do. You know, there's been times where we've had to like change it up, and my husband and I are really good at looking at like the routine or the piece of it and doing like an activity analysis of like what are the pieces to this and what can we make easier into it? And so that has helped us tremendously because it's just like the lack of sleep. We were getting up every three hours on the diet for probably three months at least, and it takes it would take us an hour to get up, change them, feed them, and I was pumping at the same time. And so then we'd get like maybe two hours of sleep if we could get them back down, and then we were back up for another hour. And so, I mean, even now, like I think, I think sleep and like the sleep routines are kind of the hardest. Um, my babies just don't, they just don't sleep. Um, they're just not those babies that sleep. And so we, you know, at night it's like, what can we, what can we change? What can we do? And sometimes there's just nothing. Um, we learn to function on four broken hours of sleep in 24 hours, you know. And so that has been the hardest. It's been like the absolute lack of sleep that we get. Like we can't just hand off if it was one baby, you could just like hand it off to your husband, hand it off to your mom, and and go rest for a few hours. But with three, that's just so hard to do, especially at night. Like, you can't do that at night, they just don't sleep independently enough at night for that. So we just like we just can't do that the same as you could with one or maybe even two if you had it. And so that has been very, very challenging is fun, you know, figuring out how to function on that lack of sleep and my husband going back to work and trying to work, and I'm trying to like step back into the clinic a little bit here and there and things like that.

SPEAKER_03 5:57

I love that you he was supportive, that you guys came together and figured out how are we gonna make this work? How can we do this as a team so that we can both attempt to function on some sort of level? Um, functioning on four hours of broken sleep is hard. But it sounds like you guys really created that system that works for you. I am curious, what was it like for you mentally during pregnancy, knowing that you were pregnant with triplets, knowing that they're the chances of going early were higher? Like, how did you feel? How did you deal with that? What would you suggest to other moms that are pregnant with triplets to kind of prepare themselves for that journey going forward?

SPEAKER_01 6:47

I'm gonna go back for just a second and say my husband and I tell each other all the time we couldn't do this with anyone else. And that is the absolute truth. Like, could not imagine doing it with anyone else because he steps in 100% of the time. We are very equal parents. Um, there's nothing that he doesn't do. And so I could not do this with anyone else, 100%. As far as pregnancy, I was very sick for the first, very nauseous for the first 16 weeks. Um, and I was working full-time throughout my pregnancy. Thank God I had a good boss and she was very flexible. Um, I also ended up with a level two, so like a full-time fieldwork student during that semester that I was pregnant. It was during the spring of 2024, and she was a godsend. Um, she was the only way that I continued to work through pregnancy up until the day before I went into the hospital. But going through it, it was like you just had to accept like like I was showing at like 12 weeks. I mean, I was going back through pictures the other day with a friend and showing her some stuff. And I looked 40 weeks pregnant whenever I was at like 27-ish. I was we took maternity pictures at like 20, 20 or 22 weeks, something like that. And it was like everything just had to be fast tracked. So don't wait. If you are pregnant with multiples, don't wait to do anything. Like everything needs to be so much faster because you're gonna go earlier. And so just fast track everything. Don't go by what your weeks say, go by how you feel on it. If you're like, I'm miserable already, that's valid, that's very valid. You're growing multiple humans, like respect that, respect your body in that sense. During those first 16 weeks that I was super nauseous, I couldn't drink water. Regular water made me so sick, I couldn't do it. Anything with high water content like fruit also made me super sick, and so I just had to like I just knew that. So I would drink like sparkling water, and I told my OB, and she was like, I don't care, just drink something. If that's orange juice, apple juice sodas, it's okay. Just drink something, and so that was part of that like respecting the process, respecting your body and trusting it. Also, trust your body. I had my high-risk OB, um, my MFM told me a couple times. She was like, You were made for triplets. She said, I don't know why, I don't know how. But everything was going so, so smoothly until that like 26-week point that I was admitted. But she told me a couple times, she was like, I'm not gonna jinx it, I don't know why, but everything is tracking perfectly. Like the babies were tracking in the like 50th percentiles for their age. Like it looked like they were a normal singleton pregnancy. They were not tracking like normal triple soup. We had no risk of twin-to-twin transfusion. They were even at birth, between the biggest and the littlest, there were seven ounces. So there was like no difference, basically. It was less, it was half a panel between them.

SPEAKER_00 9:50

Yeah, I think that's so awesome. I would love to hear a little bit more too about I know you had that like four-week chunk of bed rest before. And then I I know you mentioned that your boys were in the NICU for a little bit too. Like, how was all of that experience? Because I know that can bring added stress in terms of labor and all that stuff.

SPEAKER_01 10:10

So it turns out I was actually having contraction long before I knew it. Um, I all the babies were breached, and so I thought that what was actually a contraction was just one of their heads pushing up right under my sternum, like at the bottom of my ribs. I thought like he was just moving and kicking around and like pushing his head up into me. So I'd be like, Can you please stop? You know, and I'll be like, look at my suitor, like one of the other therapists, dang, he needs to stop. That was contractions for weeks, and I didn't know it. Um, I went to the high risk um to an ultrasound, and they said, Oh, your cervix is funneling, so it's like doing this from the inside out, and you're down to like nothing, basically. So you're going straight to the hospital. Like I was in scrubs that morning. We had drove separately. I had my work computer in my bag, not prepared at all because everything was normal two weeks prior. And so they immediately took me to labor delivery and got the contractions slowed down. I was having contractions at that point every three to five minutes. I didn't really know it. She hooked me up and she was like, Oh, you're having one now. I said, That's what that is. Good. I didn't know it. It wasn't painful, it was just pressure and tight, but more tight tightening than anything. So then they like had me on labor and delivery for their wedding for a bed and high-risk unit. They gave me the steroid shots for growth and lung development, as well as the magnesium drip for the neuroprotection. And I would say the magnesium drip the two times I had it, because I had it right before I delivered as well. That stuff is rough. So God bless anyone who has ever had it or will have it. Like, be prepared if you're gonna go early, if they have a chance of going early. I was not prepared for the magnesium. You're like so flushed and hot. And I had a stroller fan that I attached to the side of the bed because no matter how cold that room was, it was not enough. I was like eating ice chips and it still wasn't touching it. So just kind of be prepared for that. Kind of the beginning, once we got up to high risk, they're like, We'll let you sleep. Okay, but because I was a complicated and because it took longer for them to monitor me twice a day for an hour. It I was the last one at night to get put on monitors because they would have to be in my room pretty much the whole time because we would just they used the move and you'd lose one, and then they had to get at least 20 minutes of continuous monitoring with on all three of them at one time. And so we just kind of like started dysfunctioning on low sleep at that point, and that just kind of continued. I got put on a medicine a couple weeks in that I had to take every six hours. So at like 2 a.m. they would come in and give me medicine. But we were prepared at that point. I went into the hospital at 26 weeks and we were like, okay, we can get 30 was my goal. 30 weeks was my goal just because of what I know of development and having seen all these kids um patients before. 30 was my goal to hit. Like I knew the risk of complications was so much lower at 30 weeks, especially compared to 26. 28 was better, but then 30 was even better. And then the NICU stay, like, we're very close to the hospital, which is nice. So we're like 15 minutes from our hospital, and they have a good NICU, and so that's where they were the whole time. I will say our hospital is not super friendly to multiples, they were great with them. I had no problems with any of our NICU nurses, they were all angels. It was just things like the way that they have it set up, you're just in like one of three big rooms, four big rooms technically. And so then they have curtains that you can draw. The first room that we were in was a higher acuity room, and like the higher needs babies were in there because they were born at 30 weeks. There were three penals and some odd. So they were in there, but with the way they had them set up, we were kind of like one here, one here, and then one over here in the corner. They were all like in a line, but like around the corner, and so we couldn't be with all three at one time. So, like whenever I was pumping, I would have to pull a curtain or anything like that. And so then that would close us off from the other two or the other one or whatever. We didn't have individual rooms that we could have all three of them in. They were nursing at the time, so all of them were nursing on me. That in and of itself was stressful. It was, I will say, it was nice to be able to be at home for a month and a half and recover for seven-ish weeks and not have to like take care of them. Like I was able to really recover because I had a very I had a complicated delivery even after the C-section. I had retained placenta that needed a DNC and four units of blood before I could leave the hospital. Um, I ended up with like a UTI and kidney infection because I had a catheter for so long because I I didn't have enough blood to stand up. I was gonna pass out if I stood up. So being able to come home and just rest while I knew that they were taken care of was was nice.

SPEAKER_00 15:04

Yeah, I can see how that would be beneficial. And I feel like too, that I when you're talking about the NICU, I feel like that's like almost would be like unexpected thing of having to bounce around between the three babies when they're in the NICU and like make sure, like, okay, did I give enough time to this baby today? Did I give enough time to this baby? But I'm like, you have three to jump around between. So very difficult, I'm sure. I would love to talk a little bit more about your feeding experience with them too. Because I know you talked about like having to do you did some breastfeeding, some formula feeding, some donor milk. And I know like anybody with multiples feeding is a big, a big area of challenge.

SPEAKER_01 15:40

So they came home. I had like nursed them, I think, one time each in the NICU. They were just so little that it was just like almost impossible for them to latch, even they were just so tiny. And so they came home on bottles, but trying to figure out which bottle they could take because the hospital uses those disposable like similec nipples and stuff, and they weren't working great. Like I knew from my feeding experience working with babies and doing bottle feeding with babies at work, their lapses on them wasn't great, they were leaking around their mouth, um, their seal wasn't good. And so we had a thank God had a ton of bottles. We had like every brand from our baby shower. And so we were just like, try them, just try and see. So it started off that like the Lancino bottles, the purple ones, were the best to begin with, but they were just kind of choking on those little bit too fast flow. We kept trying different things, you know. The Dr. Browns is kind of like the end all be all for the most part, graffiti. They hate they did not work on them. I don't know. That was like, I was like, oh, these will work. This is what works every time. Of course not. And so we ended up on the Phillips advent, those worked beautifully. We were able to change out the flows and kind of play with them. That was stressful, was trying to figure out which bottle worked. We were having to, I was pumping, we were having to fortify their breast milk up to 24 calories because they were just they were pre me, so they needed extra calories, they were getting a high calorie formula, and so just trying to make sure like that's a lot of formula to repair or a lot of breast milk to prepare, and then keep up with when did you make it because it only lasts so long in the fridge by the time whenever you add formula to it, you know, breast milk's normally good for four days in the fridge. But if you had formula, it's good for 24 hours, and so keeping up with things like that, but just figuring out like which positions worked, and then trying to figure out tandem nursing was a bit of a good bit of a learning curve. I nursed in individually for a while, and I was like, okay, let me try tandem just because it would make life so much simpler, just be able to tandem nurse two of them, give one to my husband. I wasn't producing quite enough at the time, so I would like tandem nurse and then give him bottles of formula after to top them all basically. So that lasted a little while. Um, they started to get sick around Thanksgiving and went on nursing strike um and just kind of was like, eh, I'm good. So now they will nurse at night so I don't have to pump overnight, which is nice. And then, you know, they get a mixture of breast milk and formula during the day. We had a friend who had a baby around Thanksgiving, right before Thanksgiving, and she has a significant oversupply right now. And so she's like, We don't need this. Um, do you want it for the boys? And I said, Absolutely, like they do so much better on breast milk, they don't spit up as much, they don't have reflux as bad, they're just happier. And so we've been fortunate enough to get that from her for the last probably two months or so, and continue to get that and give that to them. Um, so they're getting like a third of that a day, a third of my milk a day, and then a third of formula. Um, it's kind of how we're doing it, and then they nurse overnight when they want to, just to put them back to sleep, basically.

SPEAKER_03 19:06

That's awesome that you were able to figure out a balance and get donor milk to supplement as well. Uh, with my many years of working with babies, most babies don't like the Dr. Brown's bottles. So you even though they seem like they're so popular, yeah, it's so common. I love that you said that you had to try so many bottles until you found what was right because that is so common that every baby kind of needs something different. I guess that's why there's many different kinds of bottles, and that can feel overwhelming. Like you try one, you try another, you have to figure out what positioning that like works best for them and is it the flow and all of that. But doing that with three babies would add a whole extra dynamic, you know, and making sure that you're preserving your breast milk formula mixture, like you don't want to throw your breast milk away. That's that's gold. So that would be definitely that extra weight there. And when they were really little, I'm assuming they took longer to feed, or were they just really efficient, or was it kind of they were new home from the NICU, still sleepy, and you know, not even to their due date yet, you said earlier. So, what was that like when you were you and your husband trying to feed three babies that were super slow at feeding and then you knew they needed to eat again? So was it like just constant feeding in the beginning, or how did you balance that?

SPEAKER_01 20:33

It felt like it initially. Um, we did a lot of keeping them, fighting to keep them awake to finish. We started like maybe they kind of want 55 milliliters, so right under two ounces. And they quickly they quickly jumped from there up to three pretty quick. But the twin Z, the twin Z pillow, the feeding pillow, nursing pillow, whatever it is, lifesavers. Always, I will always recommend those to twins or more. We have three of them in our house because we use them so much. One of them stays upstairs in our bedroom, and then we keep a couple down here and in the downstairs. That way, there's always one. And so that's what we would do is we would just have them on those, and just like my husband would have like a bottle in each hand with babies, and I would be pumping and have one um on my lap or something. And so initially it was like it would take them a good 30 minutes to finish a bottle. And so, yeah, I mean, by the time we like changed their diaper, got them set up to feed, and then fed them, it was at least an hour. And then if they need to change it again, then we were changing again. They would maybe nap or maybe be awake for a few minutes, and then all of a sudden, yeah, you were right back to that three hour mark and needing to do it again. I know bottle propping is very controversial across it, but when you have multiples, it's the only way to survive. Because you have to keep them on the same schedule. There's no way not to. You just have to keep them on the same feeding schedule. And so by the time he went back to work, we were able to just prop him up. I'm sitting right there because I'm pumping and adjusting as we go. So then so that then, like by that point, they were taking bottles in like 15, 20 minutes instead of 30 or 45. I think one time we fought with Owen for like an hour to get him to take a bottle to take two ounces because we were like, you have to eat, dude. Like you've got to stay awake and eat at least most of this.

SPEAKER_03 22:34

That would, I mean, yes, they say bottle propping isn't good, but you would literally be feeding all day. Uh, babies would be crying because they wanted to eat or you're trying to feed other, and that I think would probably send you into a spiral.

SPEAKER_01 22:47

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:48

So that's where earlier you were saying, like trusting like your intuition and what you feel like is best for you is so important because that's what was best for you. That's how you could survive during this time. And it's not like you were just, you know, propping them up and leaving them and going and doing your own thing. You were there, you were supporting them and you were doing everything that you could. So I think that, you know, it's helpful to hear that from a mom who went through this. So other moms won't feel like, well, they say I you're not supposed to do this. And but you have to do what you have to do to survive.

SPEAKER_00 23:24

Let's see. I think last question that I had was just like if you had any other kind of advice or like random practical little things that you guys did that really worked well within like these last nine months.

SPEAKER_01 23:36

I think just like sitting back and evaluating, like, okay, is this working? Like there was there was weeks that went by that it was every day. My husband and I were like, is this working right? Can we do this better? Can we do this easier? Like, what what can happen here? Even just like washing bottles. Like, if you're we were feeding them eight times a day, eight times three, there's 24 bottles a day, plus pom parts. And like if you're mixing formula in something, like we were using the Dr. Brown's pictures to melt to mix formula for a little while, things like that. That's a lot of dishes to do. So we realized and figured out like we can put the bottles in the dishwasher on a quick cycle, and we run the dishwasher once a day with the bottles in them. Everything that they say, like, oh, don't do that, or you can't do that because of this or that. Take it with a grain of salt if you have multiples. Because that advice is normally for one, trust your instincts. That's what my mother-in-law is an IBCLC, and so that has been helpful throughout all this, like trying to figure out how to latch them, do every things. And that's been that's always her biggest thing. It's like, trust your instincts as a mom, trust your gut. And that's what my mom has said. What is your gut telling you? And it it has got us through a lot. You know, people are gonna question you and they're gonna say, How do you do it? How do you do this every day with three? And the answer is that you just have to, and that's what I've been telling people lately, is they're like, How do you do it? And like it has to get done, so we do. You don't you don't know what you're capable of until you're in the middle of it and you get through it, and you're like, Oh, okay, that was hard, but we did it, we're through it, we're on to this next stage, whatever. So trust your gut and know that you can do it, even the hardest stuff. And I'll say to other moms, like, figure out how to get out of the house. You cannot stay at home all the time. At least I can't. Even if we just go to Target, we just go to Hobby Lobby, like we go walk the street outside, put them in the stroller and go walk, like get out of the house with all three of them. You need to be able to do that. There's gonna be times when you want to get out of the house, especially maybe during the summer or something, and that it's really nice outside. You're like, but I have three. That's okay, that's your life. You have three. Go. Like, it's gonna be hard, you're gonna fumble through it, but the next time it's gonna be easier. You know, I have I baby wear a lot, especially when we're out, because taking the twin stroller is all easier than taking the wagon out. So I'll put two in the wagon and put one on me, put one on my back and just kind of do it that way. And it's just made life so much easier, just knowing that I can get out.

SPEAKER_00 26:17

Yeah, and I think too, like the the correlation between being able to just like not be isolated in your house with mental health is so crucial too. I feel like even just for me, I'm not even, you know, a parent yet. But the days that I feel like I'm cooped up inside are always worse for my mental health than when you can actually get outside. And even it's if it's for 10 minutes, get outside. And I love that you you emphasize that like so much of it is trial and error. Try something, if it works, great. If not, try something different.

SPEAKER_03 26:44

And don't worry about what everybody says you should be doing. You have to do what works for you. And I think that's true for all moms. Whether you have one, two, three, whatever you have, it's true for all moms.

SPEAKER_00 26:57

Yes, absolutely. I think one thing that's so clear to me from our conversation is that multiples come with so, so many challenges because you have all of the responsibilities that a single baby has, but it's multiplied by two, by three, by sometimes even more than that. I wanted to thank our guest speaker, Kylie, today, for coming on here and talking with us about her experience of having multiples. We really value hearing about your experience and all of the challenges that came with having three boys at once. I hope that if you're listening and you're pregnant with multiples or postpartum with multiples, you feel just a little bit more encouraged that you're not alone and that and there's not one perfect way of parenting. One of the things that Kylie stressed so much is how important it is to trust your instincts. And so I hope that's something that you guys can take away from this and feel empowered in your own parenting. Thank you guys so much for joining us again on this episode. We can't wait to talk to you again next week.

SPEAKER_03 28:10

I hope today's conversation gave you something practical to take into your day or simply remind you that what you're experiencing is normal. Returning to daily life after birth is a process, and support matters.

SPEAKER_00 28:22

However, your day continues from here, be gentle with yourself. You're doing important work. Thanks for listening. We'll meet you back here next time.