Athletes After Hours with Gracie Kramer

Gracie & Ali on Pro Soccer, Captain Mentality, & New Identities

• Gracie Kramer • Season 1 • Episode 8

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In this episode of Athletes After Hours, I sit down with Ali Riley for a conversation that goes far beyond the pitch. We dive into the mindset that’s helped her compete at the highest level for over a decade, while leading with grace, resilience, and purpose. Ali opens up about identity beyond sport, the pressure that comes with representing your country, and what it takes to keep evolving through every season of life. We talk about confidence, leadership, setbacks, and how to stay grounded when the world only sees the highlight reel. She shares the highs of captaining on the world stage, along with the unseen challenges that come with longevity in elite sport. We also discuss using your platform for something bigger than yourself and the legacy she hopes to leave behind. This episode is honest, empowering, and full of wisdom every athlete, and every person can learn from. If you’ve ever had to reinvent yourself or keep going when things got hard, this one’s for you.

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SPEAKER_00

We sacrifice so much and we work so hard and we miss weddings and funerals and births and all of these things and then and then you feel like you failed.

SPEAKER_02

She's a four-time Olympian. She played over 160 games for her country. She is a longtime captain of the New Zealand women's national team. And she's appeared in multiple FIFA women's world cups. Ali Riley, welcome to Athletes After Hours.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you, Gracie. I'm so happy to be here. And you live in one of the best places on earth, probably. So you didn't have to twist my arm to come down and see you.

SPEAKER_02

I'm so happy. And you're literally so close by as well. So it's so nice that we can just hang out. But I'm like, we should have just done this at the beach, honestly. So gorgeous. Well, I am just such a fan of yours. After spending as much time as we did with the sports swap, we're a little trauma bonded now.

SPEAKER_00

That was, I didn't know what I was getting myself into, but now that it's over. It was the best day. The best two days, obviously. I flipping around in the really gross foam pit was like, I don't know. That was, I'll remember that forever.

SPEAKER_02

You were so icked out by the foam pit and actually sent me.

SPEAKER_00

It was dust was in my mouth.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it was pretty gross. It's not good. I mean, I love that you just full scented though, and you like completely bought into it because I mean it's very easy, especially I think as an athlete who's had to take care of their bodies for as long as you have, to be very cautious and fearful of like getting injured or just like your longevity of your body. And so for you to be like, fuck it, we're sentiment.

SPEAKER_00

It helps that I am retired. True. But I it was, it made me really proud of myself that I we did warm up. We did warm up, but we tried the splits. Yes, yeah, yeah, tried key word. Um that I was open to obviously trying the gymnastics, but also it was the first time I had been back on a soccer field and kicking a ball since retiring.

SPEAKER_01

I know.

SPEAKER_00

Um, even though I got back on the field with Angel City, it was still amidst a lot of rehab and just so much gym work and treatment constant, everything I was doing for my body. And then once leaving the team, it's um kind of been up to me. And I still have a workers' comp claim open. So I am able to get physical therapy, but it's been such a huge adjustment. And so to have felt how my body has healed, and I think my mind and soul and my heart since that last game on November 2nd. It's so cool that I shared that moment with you. Two days of just celebrating our bodies and showing what's possible after retiring from sport and getting your perspective also on retirement in such a different industry and what happened with your season and COVID and just the world of gymnastics, where you really, if I I mean, when when college is over, you're done. That was it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, all that work, this 20 years, honestly, like down the drain. It's like, what do you can't really, you know, do flips in a public gym.

SPEAKER_00

Except you are not a public gym, but at UCLA, and that's what makes you so impressive. And that's why I think we just are these kindred spirits because we're hustlers, yeah. And we're entering this time when the next generation doesn't have to hustle so hard and we're celebrating that. But that's like we both in very different sports and very different backgrounds are entrepreneurs and we've started our businesses and we both started podcasts at the same time. But we're also really trying to give back to our sports. So I've learned so much from you.

SPEAKER_02

I one have to say, I was so honored when we were on the field and you were like, Yeah, this is my first time picking a ball since retirement. And I'm like, every athlete knows how big of a deal that is. So for you to tell me that in the moment I'm like putting on my cleats, I'm like, no pressure, Grace. Like, holy shit. Like, hopefully, she has fun. Hopefully, I don't embarrass myself.

SPEAKER_00

It was so good. Now you have me open to maybe playing pickup at some point. I don't know. I'm still scared of getting injured, but we had a really great day.

SPEAKER_02

And we did like the little flip with the ball, and you were like, oh you did the flip with the ball.

SPEAKER_00

I attempted to do like a chest volley. It wasn't good.

SPEAKER_02

No, it was iconic. And now we have the best celebration ever. Yeah, we can do it every game now. Any Angel City game, we're just gonna be saluting. Speaking of which, yes, we need to get you to an Angel City game. I know. So I gotta know when you decided to start playing for Angel City, like what prompted that decision?

SPEAKER_00

It wasn't really my decision, which again is why I'm so proud that we've come so far in a short time in women's sports, of course, in general. So celebrating the uh WNBA's new CBA that they've agreed to terms, but with women's soccer as well. Just in the last five years, we've come so far. And with our most recent CBA, players have autonomy over their careers. You cannot trade someone against their will. Let's go. And you also don't kind of own them once their contract runs out, which is a whole whole other thing. I'm not even gonna explain because we don't have that anymore. But basically, um, I loved playing for Orlando Pride and I loved my teammates. I I loved living in Orlando. Yeah. We just um, yeah, 2021, despite COVID and some, you know, just stop start with the country, the world in terms of coming back to sport and in-person events after the pandemic. I thought I would be there for a long time. A long time. And got to the end of the season, and they were like, we are not interested in keeping you.

SPEAKER_02

And can you imagine? Bye, Allie. What? I can imagine because it happened to me. I can't. And I can't imagine letting you go. That's such a stupid move on their part. I'm sorry, like you're an absolute gem. And you don't just offer such incredible soccer skills, you offer so much beyond that. Well, thank you. So that was a massive loss on their part. I have to say that.

SPEAKER_00

Um, I had started every game. I was in a leadership group, and they just said, look, you you won't even travel probably for this team. Um, so why? I we want to bring in new faces, all these things. Interesting. So, and this is happening to players, was happening to players all over the content at the time. And um, it was it was definitely scary to be in that position in my 30s. And um yeah, so I could not negotiate with anybody else because even though they were saying we don't really want you, it was between the clubs, we are employees of the league, and my agent wasn't allowed to reach out to other clubs, so this is all this complicated even though they let you go because basically they said we'll keep you, but for this amount of money.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god, and wanted to decrease my salary by a lot of money, and so you're still stuck married to this team. Yes, and you're like, bitch, I want a divorce. Exactly. Let me out, exactly. Oh my god, how did you get out of it?

SPEAKER_00

Angel City came into the league, okay, and they were interested, thank goodness. Yeah, and so I was traded. Literal angel sent from above. Yes, yes, and even in those conversations, it was really like you know, we have our roster pretty much set here, and because Angel City, they had been formed in 2020, they'd signed Kristen Press, they were slowly signing players, and this was really late in the game.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So this was January of 2022, my first season at Angel City. So the roster had been pretty much set, and they said, Look, we can't guarantee you playing time. We don't know what role you're gonna play, but we know who you are as a character and as a person, and obviously that that was meaningful, but also I was like, I'm gonna fight to play. Of course. And I just came in with no expectations. I was so happy to have a chance to return home and to be with my family, and then you know, fast forward a few months, and I was walking the team out to the first ever Angel City game, and it changed my life completely. But that is that is the reality of what women's sports looked like, where it was it was chance. It was the fact that Orlando offered me this low salary, and then Angel City said we'll take her and all these things, and the CBA changed everything. The CBA was signed in 2022. Okay. Um, so I was able to get paid what I deserved. No one's getting paid what they deserve in women's sports, but I was able to make the salary that I was making before, which was really important.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So a lot changed in in a short period of time, but but coming to Angel City was was not really my choice, which I think makes the journey and the results so much more fantastic and miraculous and special and very serendipitous.

SPEAKER_02

Yes. You're like, this was such a beautiful bow out of your sport to be able to kind of have that bookend in your city with incredible people that value you and want you to be a part of the team. And I mean, how did you not let that transition kind of make you feel shitty? Like, did it really affect your worth? Because I mean, for someone as big as you know, these massive programs to be like, this is how much you're worth. Like, how does that not? I would be like, okay, I guess I'm not worth anything. You know what I mean? Yeah, this is like did that did that knock your confidence?

SPEAKER_00

Of course, of course. This is where sport as a business and just the more exposure we're getting as women athletes, and as salaries are becoming more and more transparent, and as we're doing these negotiations across different sports, it really is uh you're saying here's a minimum salary. This is you players who play professional women's sports in the United States are only worth five figures to play a sport where we give everything. Give everything. I mean, you leave the sport in bits, you know? No, literally, and uh that's what we're saying. And so I think it is hard, and you're on a team, and one person's making this amount and one person's making that amount. But I think what I love about women's soccer, and especially in this country, um, and I think women's sports, the collective voice, and how we know that if a woman signs a new record-breaking salary, that's a win for all of us. Yeah. And it might not be me, especially I was on the, I was on my way out when all of this started happening. I'm so proud. I mean, that is what I fought for. That is why I went through the experience of being traded like that. And I said, I don't want anyone else to experience this. This has been going on for too long. And all these voices coming together, even though we might not benefit from it. That was my last, you know, that was my last contract coming to Angel City. I I did a contract extension, but this was the last stop on the train for me. But all these other women now, for years, especially we have teenagers. They could be playing now for 20 more years and they will earn so much more money. So yeah, I got offered 50 grand from Orlando. No fucking way. And you kind of for me, I just saw it instead of like this is a reflection of my worth, this is a reflection of the times, and I'm gonna fight to make sure that the minimum salary gets higher and higher and higher. We're still fighting, but um, obviously the W's new CBA is kind of a beacon of hope now for the rest of women's sports, I think, to see what is possible. But I I guess I've tried not to take anything too personally because I understand that it is uh it's one part of a very complicated. We're still fighting against people who say no one cares about women's sports. And you know, you make a mistake and there's a highlight, and all the comments are like, this is why they shouldn't get paid, and she shouldn't be playing. And, you know, men make a mistake and everyone laughs about it, and they still buy his jersey. So I think uh I just see it more as a reflection of the times and as fuel to fight to make sure that we keep changing and pushing and just breaking through that ceiling over and over and over again.

SPEAKER_02

And you have the perfect personality for it.

SPEAKER_00

You're like a little pit bull. Yeah, and then I do it with a smile. So you're like, yeah, she like she's mad. Sneaky. I can't help but like smile. So I don't know. Yeah, but it it takes a lot of energy, and so I have to celebrate all the small wins. Otherwise, it feels like we're never, never gonna get where we want to go, which it will take a long time. But we gotta celebrate the the wins across all sports, not just in soccer. Absolutely. Um, but we are seeing some amazing growth in soccer and just some huge Cat Macario now signing. She's gonna have guaranteed eight million dollars. Let's go. I mean, and this is like is that the biggest signing?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, really, after Trinity.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my gosh. Yeah, that's incredible. I love that. I mean, yeah, it's a it's a domino effect for sure, because these girls, I think I think the biggest wake-up call for athletes is to talk about the money. Because if we don't talk about it, then you're like, oh yeah, I'll take 40,000. And you're like exactly, exactly. But that's it's really hard because it feels so personal. It is so personal to us as athletes because we've put our heart and soul and every ounce of ourselves into our sport. And then for someone to be like, yeah, that's only worth, you know, basically minimum wage.

SPEAKER_00

It's like I can't even live off of that. We're talking about such low numbers because I'm like, okay, if you're making 1.2 million and I'm making, you know, 1 million, 87,000. I'm like, okay. But now it's like she's only making 60 grand and she's making 8 million. Like, so you feel a way about it. And that's why, again, I'm so proud that we as a league and especially with our players association, we're like, this doesn't mean I'm not worth it, but we're all together gonna fight to make sure, you know, all the ships rise.

SPEAKER_02

I was just gonna say, when when the waters rise, the ships need to rise with it. I like I could not agree more. And I feel like, I mean, even in content space, I've noticed like I've had to have wake-up calls of like, okay, you've been accepting like very low numbers in comparison to other people that have a fraction of your following just because you didn't know. Like, knowledge is power. And the second you know that you're worth so much more is the moment that you finally can get that control and power back.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And demand your worth. I'm so glad you're saying that. And I think the more of us who understand that, but at the same time, it is really hard to say no to money. Yeah. It's so hard not to kind of lessen your value because especially when you retire and when we go into media, some of these jobs where you don't have this paycheck coming in each month, you don't have benefits that it feels so tempting to accept an offer from a billion-dollar company to do a post for $3,000. And then you're like, well, if I don't do it, they'll find someone else who will. So talking about it is so important. And I think what I've realized, and again, this is speaking from a position of privilege where I have a following where I can say no.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But when you say no, I think, and if you're true to yourself and you are good at what you do, a partner will come along who does respect you and who does value you. But it is really scary to wait or fight for that person or company, brand sponsor to come along. But now that we're seeing so much more investment in women's sports, we are not all fighting for this tiny piece of the pie. Yeah. The pie, the shares of the pie have gotten bigger. So there is more space for multiple podcasts, for multiple commercial partners on each podcast. And so that's what kind of gives me hope and is something to um, yeah, a little more reassurance to give anyone who is out there thinking, how can I say no to this? Like, no, there are brands out there who believe in us and value us.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. And I think having those partners too that see us as human beings first.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Not just a number, not just a poster child, not just someone on a billboard. And I have noticed a shift. A lot of brands now wanting to do in-person events to connect with the people. Like I mean, I just had an event with Puma last night and being able to see the Puma execs face to face and have genuine conversations, it gives you a leg up because you can really show your authentic self to them. And then they can truly assess and not just look at you as a number and not look at your following and is like, oh, well, she doesn't have XYZ, so we don't want to work with her. Instead, they get to meet me personally and they're like, oh my gosh, she's fired up about her podcast. She's very passionate. This very much aligns with our brand. And then it sets you up so much better than to be like, oh yeah, we saw her resume and it's not that impressive. It's like, well, we're humans first. Let's look, you know, let's look a little deeper. Yeah. And I think that can kind of translate to sports as well. Like, like I said, I just, I still cannot believe Orlando would not utilize you the way that you truly deserved because of how much you bring to the game that has nothing to do with soccer.

SPEAKER_01

Wow.

SPEAKER_02

Thank you. How did you develop that? As you know, you're obviously a phenomenal leader. You're one of the best in your sport.

SPEAKER_00

Gracie.

SPEAKER_02

Like, I'm just here to hype you up, obviously. But like, I just want to know how did you develop that? Because like you're dealing with so much too, with obviously trying to hone in on your skills with soccer, but you took it so much further.

SPEAKER_00

I think it it is a product of the time that we were in with women's sports, which is why um, which which doesn't feel like a good thing because I'm like, yeah, I've got good at public speaking and all these side hustles because I wasn't making a lot of money. You had to. Um, but I did have to. And I think my mom, she's Chinese, she didn't see this as a sustainable career. She was really worried about me. Um, she obviously wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer to anyone with Chinese moms out there, you get it. Um, I yes, I had to play an instrument. I played the piano. Um and I think that was why going to Stanford was really important to get an education, even before we knew playing being a professional was even a possibility. Was even a possibility. And it wasn't at the time, um, was if you can't play soccer for whatever reason, you need to have an education. You need to be a first, you need to be a good person. You need to have an education, you need to be prepared.

SPEAKER_02

Have something to fall back on.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. Yeah. And even when I got drafted, the team that drafted me folded after one season, my rookie season. So then I'm getting all of these kind of uh reminders that this is not a sustainable career. The year after that, the entire women's professional soccer league in the United States folded, beginning of 2012. So that's why I went abroad. So when I started this career, oh my god, my stress profession, I was constantly being told this is not something you'll be able to do for a long time. Yeah. 17 seasons later, you know, I had a lot of time to really hone different skills. And when I had an injury, I just thought, look, I need to find balance, first of all, for just me as a human. Your identity. But also, what is something that I can work on here? And it ended up being content creation and being in front of camera and being someone, you know, while my teammates were thinking about the game on Saturday, when I wasn't able to play, yeah, I'll be the one to do any little bit content, make content, and that the social team at Chelsea in particular really appreciated that. And we had a good relationship, and so that gave me more confidence. So that when I did return to the NWSL, um, yeah, I was a really different person, I think. You offer so much more than just your skills, and and I think that's important to a team, and especially when sometimes who plays, who starts is is out of your control. All you can do is your best, right? And then at the end of the day, the coach is gonna make a decision. But I'm always gonna be the best teammate and an advocate and a good person. And so that to for that to live out alongside what was a successful career where I was playing and I was a captain, I think that helped prepare me for then this injury I had for the last two years for retirement. That who I was as a person, I was authentically myself the entire time. And that that showed in the content I was doing and any media I was doing. And anytime I would have to speak on behalf of my national team or my club team.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And especially coming to LA in Angel City, I realized that I was more motivated to perform when I had a higher purpose, when I knew I was representing my hometown, when I knew that every goal we scored, a thousand meals were being donated to the greater Los Angeles people who needed it, you know, like all of the Values of Angel City, they resonated with me and being inclusive. And um, that was something that drove me to perform even better. So they they definitely live hand in hand. It's not like, oh, if you want to be a good person and uh, you know, good at public speaking, it's gonna take away from how good you're on you are on the field. Like, no, I I definitely think they aligned so well for me. And I'm so happy to see more and more players feeling like they can be their authentic selves, whether it is to be, you know, a leadership type and someone who likes to talk a lot like me, or someone who likes to come in makeup and their amazing style to a game and play with that kind of flair and that freedom that I never found as a player. Yeah. And I just love that we're seeing that so much more and we're seeing more diversity and players just feeling represented and able to be authentic. And so that's again more ammunition, more things for me to talk about and advocate for. So it's just something that's lived alongside my playing career, my entire career, because of the landscape when I started playing.

SPEAKER_02

I love that. I mean, I think you also continuing to be your most authentic self, all it did was continue to inspire other people. And now they're like, oh, there's a possibility for me to do not only just soccer, I can create my own brand. I can build a business. Like we've talked about this um on the pod in the past with some other athletes where they didn't realize what was possible until they saw someone do it. Yeah. And so it's really cool that you're a trailblazer for all of these younger athletes who are just starting out, you know, like you said, they're starting very young, which is like insane. What, like 16 years old?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, they're a couple of 13-year-olds. Get out. No, that's a topic for another day, but yes. No, we've got um at Angel City, we had a couple, we had a 16, 17-year-old. Now, now they're both um over 18. But yeah, they had to have their own locker room. And yeah, we had we had you.

SPEAKER_02

You're like a mama bear.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, the 16-year-old could have been my child. Literally, I wouldn't have even been a teen mom. She could have been my child.

SPEAKER_02

That's insanity. How was that dynamic, like culturally?

SPEAKER_00

Different, very, very different. Again, these these young athletes are are amazing.

SPEAKER_02

And were they able to hold their own?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we look at Kennedy Fuller, she is gonna have an amazing season. She was already outstanding in game one, but um they they just have and they they've grown up watching women play sports and women in media again, something that we didn't have. So um, but it is we live very different lives. Yes. Um, they make more money than me, but they well, they they are on their phones a lot more. I'm like married and um happy to hang out with my husband and very different lives. Yeah, party. I have no idea. No, no, they're really serious. Oh, love that they're really serious. I don't know if this is across sports, but my um the vibe I'm getting from these young, they're very, very serious. They're like super dialed in. They have fun, but like their fun is like doing mukbongs and like making TikToks and like very, I would say, like straight edge. Yeah. Wow. And they and they don't want to, I'm sure some of them drink, but like, you know, they don't want to jeopardize their position on the team. Yeah, and I think they they're so professional, and they were their professional athletes, and they're they didn't have the kind of like crazy high school and and college, and even like when I started playing pro, like after every game, we would go out and party. Yeah, and that's not um, yeah, that's not really a thing anymore. No, at least not at Angel City when I was playing at Angel City.

SPEAKER_02

So you're like, anyone want to do a wine night?

SPEAKER_00

It's like crickets, and you're like, Yeah, well, they're not even old enough to drink, and I can't give them alcohol. Oh, yeah, fair. They're not even old enough to drink.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, you didn't even think about that. Very different. The 13-year-old is like, actually, I have homework. And you're like, the hell?

SPEAKER_00

And they exactly they had school. Um that is so wild. But I I do think that they really respect the fight that went in in the same way, of course, that we we respect and want to honor the the players that came before us. I think they are um very, very impactful and insightful in everything they say. They're always saying, like, we know that we got here because of the fight that came before us. And so I think back to what we're talking about about kind of the side hustle in these young players, I think the beauty, the beautiful thing will be that it will be a choice for them if they want to go into media while they're playing, if they want to be a content creator, if they want to do it to supplement their income.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Wow. And let's be honest, even almost all of the players now, eight million dollars is a lot of money. Yes. But they will have to earn more money during the the rest of their life. If, you know, not you can't, it doesn't matter how good you are, you can't. But money's not guaranteed. Yeah, and you you have to retire at some point. It's professional sports. So if we say these players will retire in their 30s, they will have a lot of money to a lot of time to make a lot of money, but will probably even male athletes, you know, they go into something else when they retire. Um, and sometimes that money dries up. There's no guarantee.

SPEAKER_02

Yes. And that's if you're not prepared. Uh-uh. If you don't know how to invest your money properly, or you're just you get caught up and swept up in the whole, you know, pro-athlete cultural norm of let's go buy a bunch of cars and buy a bunch of designer bags. And it's like, babe, that that shit loses value the second it leaves a lot.

SPEAKER_00

And I wonder as we see women, obviously they're making not making NFL money yet, but I do wonder, I mean I'm like, women are smarter, so it's not going to happen. Yeah. But it is a different time. And now we're looking at what's going to happen with the the W players and how much money they're going to be earning. And it's a huge, huge increase. So it it just, I think it'll be cool to see when we start making, when I say we, I don't mean me. When women start making, yes, start making this type of money, that we are going to be so much smarter with our.

SPEAKER_02

You know what I mean? Because I do genuinely believe that like you will value your money so much more if you actually had to work for it. And with these types of contracts where you're just getting shit handed to you, yes, of course, the NFL is very grueling. I don't want to take away from the hard work that goes into being in the NFL, but it they didn't have to work for that salary.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, this is it's been a thing since it's been a thing since you know the beginning. And so I think having an easier time getting those huge contracts, like maybe it's just easier to spend the money. We'll see. I don't know. I think it's wild though. It gives me actual anxiety because like I hate spending money because even in my profession, obviously I'm not a professional athlete, but being in content creation, there's no guarantee. I don't have a guarantee for how many brand deals I get a month.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I don't have a guarantee whether or not this podcast makes me any money. I think I made $16. Yeah. I just got into the Spotify creator fund. Yes, but like we'll celebrate that. We will celebrate $16. I can buy myself a sweet treat.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, like that's one. That's that's not even a your one smoothie.

SPEAKER_02

It's a two, it's a it's a Chipotle bowl. It's fine. I love Chipotle. No, so I think that like, yeah, having having you be such a strong advocate and have such a strong voice, like you're doing phenomenal work and you're really utilizing your voice to help advocate for these girls. And I I'm sure they could not thank you more.

SPEAKER_00

So they don't need to thank me, they just need to get their money, and that will make so so happy.

SPEAKER_02

And it's happening, it's happening right before our eyes. And I think having that mentality with your guys' specific sport is so healthy because you're like, if you win, we all win. There's no competitiveness. Because I have wondered that with especially the NIL stuff. I've talked with a few college athletes now dealing with the NIL, and I mean shit. Like, look at Livy Dunn making eight, I don't know how many millions of dollars she's made at LSU, but then there's in the same team, in the same gym, training in the same hours, maybe even competing way more than she was, making not even six figures. Like, does that create animosity? Does that hurt the culture of the program? And I'm always so curious like, did you guys ever struggle with the culture just because of contracts like being public knowledge?

SPEAKER_00

So right now in the NWSL, they aren't public, but they are transparent among the players. So still, yes. Okay, to your point, we still knew. Yeah, yeah, but no, because what it creates is not animosity, might not be the right word, but is wait a second, when I renegotiate my contract, now I have knowledge, which means I have power. It was never like, oh my gosh, she's not assisting that much or scoring enough goals. How is she getting that much money? It was I was always so happy to see how much money that players were making so much more than me. That just made me really happy. Again, I was at a very different stage of my career, so I can't really speak for how that would feel if you're like coming up.

SPEAKER_02

You're playing a ton and you're not getting paid the same as someone who's warming the bench. Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_00

Like I wonder about that. Right. So I I can't speak to that. But in terms of the conversations that I was part of and what I what I understand about our collective voice and our players' association, I think the players have it's a positive thing to be able to then understand what you can fight for and see how much of the salary cap per team is being utilized. Um, and again, this is the thing with women's soccer and the salary cap. The GMs are fitting these players into this puzzle, whereas overseas, and this is this constant conversation we're having about the English league and the US League is the salary cap. So that is a little bit more. I would say it creates more frustration around having a salary cap than, oh, she's getting more than me.

SPEAKER_02

Because then there's no there's no room for growth.

unknown

Right.

SPEAKER_02

And the salary is an incentive.

SPEAKER_00

The salary cap is going up by a certain amount now until the um the CBA expires. But I think a lot of us are arguing that it should uh they need to release the leash a little bit quicker or buy more. And so there's a new rule that was just introduced where a few players who meet a certain criteria can earn up to one million dollars the salary cap. Okay. But what my argument would be is just increase the salary cap by a million dollars, and then you can choose who you want to spend that money on. It can be a player who doesn't play for the national team, but has so much value for your team, or you spend it across, you know, three players, five players.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, but yeah, so that's the kind of a hot topic right now in the NWSL.

SPEAKER_02

That's all the T.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

How was becoming a four-time Olympian?

SPEAKER_00

I just gotta know. Like, oh I, you know, it it's it's really nice to now be able to reflect on the four Olympics that I played on, played in because the most recent one was the one where I had to withdraw due to injury two days before the opening game. So the Paris Olympics. Oh, I didn't know that. And thinking about the Olympics has been a real like a trigger and a huge source of sadness for me. And now, like being done with my career, I can really think about and celebrate the other four instead of thinking so much about 2024. Um, and it it really, of course, I'm so proud. It was such an honor and to represent a really, really special country. And going into the Olympic village, every New Zealand athlete is welcomed with a haka.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And that now, of course, with social media, you always you're seeing when someone wins a medal, so they're celebrated with a haka, and you can see in the village. But of course, you know, in in 2008 and in 2012, this wasn't something that was shared as much around the internet. Um, but it was, I think those those moments are some of the most just spiritual and unique and special that I think I will have in my life. Like to have, and it's something that not a lot of people, of course, people get haka for different reasons, but to be one of the few athletes representing New Zealand who gets to come into an Olympic village and have your fellow athletes and the staff at the village do this very, very meaningful act to welcome you and honor you and celebrate you and wish you luck and just everything. It means so many different things.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

That was the first time was like, yeah, my brain exploded, but it's it never gets old. And I think again, kind of full circle. My teammates they did a haka for me from the field when I was in the stands when I watched their first game, obviously, having just been removed from the team. And so that was kind of like the last.

SPEAKER_02

Did you sob your eyes out?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, well, I think I cried for like a month straight after getting withdrawn from the Olympics. But that was it was such an honor and it was so special. And from having that first experience in 2008 in Beijing to then my last Olympic-related haka um in 2024 from the from the stands. That was yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I can literally feel your emotions like you over here.

SPEAKER_00

It was it's nice to finally start feeling like I can just be really happy and proud with my career because yeah, that was it felt like such a disappointment, and you know, there's so much pressure. And as an athlete, you feel like you're representing so many people and you've worked so hard for these moments and having an injury, having your season end because of the pandemic, all of these things that are out of our control, but they hit really, really hard and they can affect us for such a long time for our entire lives, because we sacrifice so much and we work so hard and we miss weddings and funerals and births and all of these things, and then and then you feel like you failed, and it's yeah, it was really, really hard. I've had to work through that a lot. Um, but now yeah, I I feel like why I I didn't give enough love to the to the other four, you know, like those are also amazing experiences. So I I'm finally stopped, like have stopped putting so much weight on on the one that got away.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, but yeah, that's uh the Olympics are something so special. And I think now, especially as we're seeing women Olympians get their flowers, that came through so strongly in 2024 and at this winter Olympics that the stories are about women and it's changing the landscape for all of us. And I think that's another thing that I'm so I feel really lucky because yes, we fought really hard, and these young players are going to earn so much money playing soccer than I ever did. But by staying involved in sport and being an investor myself in a women's volleyball team, and by now having a role with Angel City and by covering the sport, that investment is getting to me as well. And I am getting this reward of everything we fought for. So it does, yeah. If you if you can look at it that way again, like I would never be bitter and never be jealous of of what these players are getting. Cause that was the whole point. Yeah. Truly.

SPEAKER_02

How are you still so entrenched in soccer after such a painful ending? Because for me, like I couldn't go back to a gymnastics meet for like years. Well, you know, my friend asked me to teach her how to play soccer, so I had to.

SPEAKER_00

Um I think I think it is like the celebrating the wins, and I'm able to separate my painful experiences from the progress we're making. And and again, like by covering the sport, I'm getting to be part of it too. Like, I had never had my hair and makeup professionally done until an Angel City Media Day. Oh, that was the first time. And then now, like on in studio and on set, like I get to have my hair and makeup done. You're a superstar. And I get to talk about for my job, I get to talk about these amazing women who are doing the sport that I loved, but also getting so much more recognition for it. And I also get to be one of the people giving them the recognition, you know? So I think instead of and like it was definitely weird going to that Angel City game last week. I know I was gonna text you and check on you. Like, are you good? It was weird, but I think I'm such like a lover girl, and I the fans and the the women's sports community and the women's soccer community, they've lifted me up that I don't have space to even feel that sad. You know, I still have these moments, but I just everyone is so happy and so nice and so warm and welcoming and just really welcomed me into this next chapter with open arms, whether it was the fans, the club, or the women who had retired before me, like Akelly O'Hara, Leanne Sanderson, um, Jen Beattie, Allie Krieger. I mean, all of these women, Tobin Heath, who had gone through it and felt the love themselves, and then were able to extend that to me as I left the game and mentor me. Julie Fouty is helping me how to set up my board so I can call my first game. Like we are all empowering each other. And so, yeah, really, yeah, sometimes when I'm alone in my car, I definitely cry. But I'm I think I'll always do that.

SPEAKER_02

Like, that's we just get inner sacral moments, but it's okay. I mean, it's better to do that by ourselves than to be crying in a mid stadium.

SPEAKER_00

People have seen me cry now here too, but so much. So um I'm it's okay. I went viral for crying. So I definitely get you there. So um, no, I just I I really feel this very, very pure joy when I'm around the sport. And I I know that makes me lucky, and I don't expect everyone to feel that way, but I also was able to mourn and grieve the end of my career during those two years where I was injured and when I wasn't able to compete in Paris. And so I think I also got that little happy ending with returning to the field and being celebrated like that. And so again, I I I know I'm really lucky that I kind of get to say I ended my career on my own terms just because I made it back to the field. But I think it was it wasn't really a choice, but I did get to play long enough that the wheels fell off, and that does make me lucky. And I I think about that when I when I watch and I cover the sport now.

SPEAKER_02

I really applaud you for having the standard that you have for yourself and your career because I think a lot of people listening would maybe not be able to relate because you're out here talking about being sad about a fifth Olympics that you didn't make out of before. But I can 100% relate to this, and I do think a lot of athletes can relate to this because we're conditioned to hold ourselves to such an impossible standard.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And all this outside, all the outside noise, too. Like I remember you telling me the biggest hurt was you feeling like you let your fans down. Yeah. Can you talk about that a little bit?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I I think that's why our community is really important and why, while social media can be a very dark place, I think it is it has changed women's sports. Truly. And it's connected all of us and it's given us this voice and this platform. But I think most importantly, importantly, the collective voice and a community. And I think that that is, and I don't know if this is still rooted in the fact that we don't get paid as much, but it's like the fans and your relationships mean so much. And I feel like so many male athletes or male coaches are like, you know, what happens between the white lines stays between the white lines. But if someone treats me like shit at training, like that's not gonna get the best out of me, and it's unnecessary, and that for me is not high performing, and I am gonna say something after we leave the field. Like that's just not how I operate. And as a leader, I think understanding how my teammates what would get the best out of them, and I I never had a majority of my team say, like, yeah, you can say whatever you want to me and yell at me and bring me down, like, and that's okay, and we can be tight later. Like, no, no, it it means a lot to us, and I don't know if that is I think it is connected to the fact that our relationship means relationships mean a lot because yeah, we're like making five figures. Um but I I think that for me probably tied into a little bit of Like, I'm not doing this for the money. I'm doing this because I love it and because I'm representing people and I have this opportunity to have a platform. And when I'm out there, I'm gonna show out for my country and my family and be this person that people can look to and inspire everyone and motivate everyone. And it's so much pressure. But it's also just so meaningful. It's such an honor. So yeah. And so when I feel like there are these expectations of myself and and that I've created that for other people to expect of me, and I want them to expect that of me, that then, yes, when you fail, when you're injured, when when whatever happens, you don't play. Um it it really I felt so much like I was letting people down, even though nobody ever said that to me.

SPEAKER_01

No.

SPEAKER_00

And I think that is where this like being kind to yourself and giving yourself grace and like the self-talk, and just it's you can get so much affirmation, validation from other people externally, but we as athletes, I think we push ourselves really, really hard, even if if it came from a coach or from a parent initially, we really internalize it. And I don't no one was ever harder on me than I was on myself. 100%. And after I was a straight up bully to myself for yeah, we talked about this when we were doing the gymnastics. Like, and and I think that's still something I struggle with, but um that that I was always my harshest critic, and that I think with the Olympics was something that that really, really came out, and it didn't matter if people were saying like you did great, yeah, and and you know, you you went to four and like you're amazing. I was I still felt like such a failure. Um, but I I think one of the hardest things that I had to learn and am still, I think we as people deal with is understanding whose opinion matters and how to value those opinions more than all of the noise. And as women's sports again gets more following and more engagement and more publicity, more comments, more everything. This is this kind of period that we're gonna go through where it's like, okay, you wanted more fans. It this comes with the territory.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, there's gonna be a lot of critics, there's gonna be a lot of comments that you don't like.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, and people who have no idea what the fuck they're talking about. Yeah. And how is that noise gonna get to you? Yeah. How do you not let that affect your mentality, your performance, your just your mental life, your mental health? And that's where a lot of these young athletes as well, like, yes, they're used to social media, but it is very, very public. And they're getting so much more than I did during my career, probably in the last two years, more than like my entire professional career. And that's one thing I think that is really important. Again, why you have this podcast and we talk about the pressures, the pressures we're putting on ourselves, but also what's coming from outside. And how, how do you just remind yourself? Like, it's you know, it's your coach and your teammates, your people, your parents, whoever it may be, like those are the opinions that matter. And how do you some players like you can't help but you read the comments? Like it's this habit. It's a really toxic cycle, though. Yes, yeah, but it's kind of it's impossible to ask someone to not do like it's you have to be very strong willed to not. And sometimes the thing pops up and you just already see a few and you see your name and get sucked in. Yeah. So that's that's something that I think too. Like, how can we really, really make sure that our young athletes are um yeah, maybe educated, informed? What are some resources in terms of limiting some of that noise? Or again, and some people are saying terrible things, and that is something that needs to be addressed, but how do you handle the the criticism and being so public and your performance just being ripped apart or being celebrated so much? Everyone said I was doing amazing. Why aren't I starting next week? Yeah. Well, because the coach didn't think that you did what he or she needed you to do. And this is just all part of the game that is changing so much.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. And being thrown under a microscope all the while trying to keep your head above water and performing your best. The social media stuff is absolutely absurd, I think, especially being in it. Thankfully, I've created and curated a very beautiful community of humans that thankfully protect me from a lot of hate. Like I don't get a ton, knock on wood, I don't get a ton of hate unless the video like goes viral or something where I'm like hitting new audiences and stuff. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And wow, wow. People just write whatever they want out there. Sheesh. New insecurities get unlocked. Yeah, the less they know you, the more personal, terrible things they're gonna write about you. Which doesn't make sense. No, it really doesn't.

SPEAKER_02

But I I did hear from someone once um who was pretty like established in their social media career. They said, if I didn't want to switch lives with somebody, I shouldn't care about what they think. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Crazy. That is a very good perspective. And that really changed my perspective on a lot. And it helped me realize too like keep your circle as close as possible.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Because when you are making a shitload of money and you are getting opportunities that people want to be a part of, and you have agents tail, you know, trying to get on your back and ride your coattails, like you do need to keep people in your corner that you know authentically love you and support you no matter what, and are gonna be there when the money dries up and are gonna be there when the opportunities aren't knocking anymore. And I think the transition out of sport will be so much smoother when you have your worth outside of it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And I think that's why you seem so beautifully put together post retirement because you've spent all those years stepping out of yourself, being a leader, leading humans and not just athletes, but also investing time in yourself that had nothing to do with your sport, investing in your identity and developing that where when it was time to finally close that door, yes, of course it was so painful, and I'm sure you still probably deal with sad moments every now and again, but like your worth is not just being a soccer player. You're an incredible content creator, you're an incredible speaker, you're um an advocate for so much of what women's sports represents. Like you've developed so much outside of just being Allie Riley, the athlete. And I truly think that's why your transition was so smooth. And maybe that's just me being, you know, outside looking in. Of course, there's a lot that happens behind the scenes, and that's why we have this podcast to talk about those things that people don't see. But I could not applaud you more for even knowing you for such a short span of time. I already know, like, you're gonna make such an incredible impact on the sport and on women's sports in general.

SPEAKER_00

So thank you for saying that. I think that would be one of my biggest pieces of advice for these women who are playing is to really try to work on understanding who you are and who you want to be. And especially as the money is is starting to come in, but knowing that at some point you have to do something else, and there will be so many more opportunities than there were before. But also, nothing is ever linear, like everyone's gonna go through some big challenge, whether it is coming to the end of your career or an injury right smack in the middle, or someone saying something about you publicly or being criticized, or whatever it may be. And exactly like you said, knowing who you are, working on yourself, knowing who your people are. And it's not the people are just gonna blow smoke up your ass. Like you can find that on the internet. Yeah, you can. Um just talk to Chat GPT.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, hit me up for a sec, please. Thank you. Yeah, give me all the words of affirmation.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. She does a great job.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

It's really knowing, um, like you said, like who's gonna be there for you when the chips are down. And I think for most athletes, when you retire, it really feels like the chips are down. And so to be prepared for that moment and to have confidence in who you are will help you overcome and start something new.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. When you did have those devastating moments that really took you to a darker place, who helped you get out of it?

SPEAKER_00

Lucas has been just my ride or die, obviously. Um he's been around for Yeah, for nine years. Wow. So, and that's really when coming back to the US and with the having the home world cup and a lot of the pressure that went with that. And then, of course, Paris and Angel City and these really life-changing moments for better or for worse. Um, and he he also played soccer, so he's someone that I know, like he gets it. He's like, Do you want to do you wanna talk about it? Do you want to analyze it? But he also knows that I'm so hard on myself. And my parents, my mom can be really critical, but I know she's my number one and she'll be there no matter what. And I can say, like, I don't want to talk about the game. I just need to be to have a nice dinner. I just need to be home. Um, that that's one of the reasons I think that the fire and my family losing their house in the fire was also a very like yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I had no idea.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, so a year ago-ish. Um, yeah, my In which city? In Palisades. Oh. Yeah. So that was another talk about like the injury and the fire. And yeah, it was a lot. We got married like three days after the fire. So we this has been a crazy, crazy couple of years. And family to me, and it can be your chosen family, but these are the people who are gonna be so honest. You also can say, like, I'm having a bad day. I don't, I don't want to talk about this, or can we just do this? Can we just exist together? Yeah. And so I think losing the house was really hard because that's where I would go after a game, whether we won, whether we lost, whatever happened. I could just be around my family, be around my parents and and Lucas, and just exist. We didn't have to talk about it. Yeah, hit the reset button. Yes, and I could invite some teammates over, whatever. So I think that made it even more challenging because that was part of my routine and losing that home base. Yeah. Um, but that's just showed me how like the community and everyone has felt like they've been a part of my family going through this. And there are so many Angel City fans who also were affected. They rallied around you, yeah. And and I realized that like it is about the people, and no matter where we are, and now me and Lucas live with my mom and dad. We rented a place together, yes. Oh my gosh, yeah. So just get ready when you come over for dinner. It won't just be me and Lucas. I'm so excited. And that's uh Have you guys seen a reality TV show? Honestly, it would do big things because my parents are wild, but that's just being together, like that. That is what I've needed through all of this. And my parents came to Paris, even though they hadn't left LA when I was withdrawn from the team. Really? Oh my gosh. They said we're coming.

SPEAKER_01

Well, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So we had this kind of weird again. I cried a lot, but this weird vacation, like family vacation. I haven't had a time like time to do that in a decade. So me and Lucas and my parents like had this like time in France together. Um and yeah, that's the fire, the Olympics, the fire, my injury. Um, my mom was diagnosed with leukemia. So we've like, we've been going through a lot, but we have each other and we have this amazing community. And like, that's everything. That's that's how you get through any challenges. You have to lean on people. And I was someone who I was smiley Riley, like I was someone who I felt everyone looked to me to always be positive and happy and like glass half full. And I am that person, but I realized I had to be vulnerable and also share when I was not feeling good. And I was not, and that allowed me to be even happier and more myself because I was able to. You weren't masking. Yes, exactly. And so that's I've I've never been able to hide anything from my my family and from Lucas. Like they they know everything that's going on in my life, but um that that was a big lesson I learned um when I was playing for Chelsea and I was injured and I just had the hardest time. And I realized I actually have to talk about it and tell people. So that's another one of my big pieces of advice. And you're not bringing your teammates down. Yes, if you're bitching about, you know, this girl gets to do that, and like she's playing and I'm not, like that can start to be a drain on a team.

SPEAKER_02

For sure.

SPEAKER_00

But if you are genuinely having a tough time and it could be about playing time, it could be about anything. Yeah, but you gotta find your people. It's not in the locker room, it's not in the shower after training. You find your people, and you know, this is not gonna bring my team down, it's not gonna bring my colleagues, whatever they do. There's a time and place. There's a time and place and and a and a person or people for that. And that's like again when you go back to like those are your people.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

How's your mom doing now?

SPEAKER_00

She's good, she's doing a lot better. Okay, yes, yes. We're just like, she's immunocompromised, so we're like just trying to keep her, you know. But no, she's good. She's good.

SPEAKER_02

You're a rock, dude. I I mean, I think that's it's a superpower, but it's also it can lead to again, like you said, a lot of struggle when you're known as Smiley Riley and you have to keep this look up and you have to be this person, this leader. And I was I really was curious. I think it's actually on my questions for our dear athlete segment, but how do you keep this leadership role up when you're struggling with things behind the scenes?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, that it is. It's leaning on the people who you know and being honest. Yes, and you know this is not leaving the room, this is not now gonna leak into um the team or anything like that. This is really just being honest about how you're feeling and being open and really asking for help. It's not bitching, it's asking for help. This is what I need in this moment, it's asking for support. And that's framing it is important, especially if you are gonna talk to someone who like also plays on the team and can empathize and understand where you're coming from. Yes, but definitely if you need help and if you need support, ask for it. Yeah, please, please.

SPEAKER_02

People can't read your mind, and like we're also because we're conditioned to be so tough all the time and not be vulnerable.

SPEAKER_00

Like we can fake it pretty well, really well, and we can also perform at an extremely high level while still going through a lot of shit. I think I performed better when I was going through shit.

SPEAKER_02

I mean that's why because that was like my only outlet. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00

And I think a lot of a lot of athletes would resonate with that. So it is really like, but it's not sustainable for a long period of time and things can build up and also it it is, it can affect like your relationships and also it can get to a point too, like where if you get to use to get used to feeling a certain way that you don't notice like that's what happened to me when I was depressed with my injury because I was like, What do you mean? Like I've been sad and unable to sleep and walk for so long. Like, of course I'm not gonna socialize important. And I'm like finally spoke to someone, they're like, You're depressed! Like, this is these are signs of depression that you don't want to socialize anymore, and like you're so worried about like having pain and all of these things, and the like there were some key signs that I wasn't aware of, but I just it had gone on for so long that I was like, What do you mean?

SPEAKER_02

This is my normal now, yeah. Yeah, wow. Where did the struggle bleed the most? Where did it show up?

SPEAKER_00

Because obviously you still performed, you still kept um, I think especially when this when it got really bad with my injury, it was that I and coinciding with like the Olympics and losing the house, like I in February of last year, I I didn't want to like I would just lie in bed all day after training. So I'd go and I would work my ass off and I would do my rehab and I would cheer on my team at training and I would cry and I would lie in bed. And I didn't want to see my parents, I didn't want to go to dinner with Lucas, like I couldn't cook, like I there's nothing like things that bring me so much joy I could not do.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And that was when I again like shared that with a psychologist and started working with the club in terms of like, let's let's take a step back. Like I needed to get away, I needed to take some time off away from the team, away from soccer. And then that actually allowed me to restart my rehab. And I think that's why I really was able to get back on the field because I like acknowledged what was happening and we made some adjustments to my training times and to how much exposure I was getting to the team and to all these things that were actually contributing to my depression.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And uh that again, it's because I I shared it, but it was like imagine if you didn't. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

It's like such a scary thought to I always say that to him like imagine if you didn't tell somebody.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, that's where things go really, really wrong really fast. And you can only keep it up for so long, especially in such a high pressure situation like you, where you're on a massive stage or under a big microscope, people are picking you apart, you're a lot weaker than normal. You can't take the criticism the same way. Like it's gonna hit deeper. Yeah. Because it's just it's inevitable. It's something's gotta go, something's gonna crack. So well, I'm glad that we climbed out of that. Yeah. I'm really proud of you. Thank you. It's not easy. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00

It's not an easy feat. No, no, it definitely isn't. And especially because of what you said, we are seen to be these beacons of strength. Yeah. And I'm so glad we're changing this like stigma around mental health. And especially I think male athletes sharing that they struggle with they have mental health challenges, and that they also feel pressure and they also feel like failures. Because I think uh in sport in general, it's something where we we have these young people looking at us and thinking they need to act a certain way. They've got it all together, yeah, really, really unhealthy. Yeah, and it will limit them from being the athletes that they could be as well.

SPEAKER_02

So I I I can agree more because I think a lot of times too, people think, well, it's uh this is all so luxurious and glamorous, and you see, you know, these incredible athletes doing incredible things and making all this money or what we think they're making all this money. Yeah, all this money. And you know, they get to the to the place that they're they've been striving to get to, and it's not everything it's you know, chalked up to be, and you're like, I'm done. I'm I'm really curious to know, you know, like I think in the next coming years, will social media hinder that expectation? Will people only see the highlight reels and then not really truly understand what goes into it and the grit and the grind and the struggle and then just give up?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, well, that's again why these conversations are so important and why I'm so glad that we are seen.

SPEAKER_02

It's so normal to struggle. It's okay to fail. Like because we're human.

SPEAKER_00

We're trying. We are human. We're just humans. Yes, exactly, exactly. And we cry and we all the time. Yes.

SPEAKER_02

I used to think it was so bad to cry, and now I cry all the time.

SPEAKER_00

No, honestly, because that's what you're it's just the way you have to get out.

SPEAKER_02

Like, I will literally crash out otherwise if I don't let it out in an emotional way. Like, yeah, I'd rather do that than lash out on someone I love. Like, exactly. Let it feels good.

SPEAKER_00

It feels good after it feels bad.

SPEAKER_02

I'm like the cortisol is leaving my entire body right now. It's so healing. Oh, well, I am just so glad that we could connect. I mean, we've already connected so much in our, you know, field chat and everything with the sports swap. But like the second I talked to you and met you, I was like, I really hope she wants to come to the studio and do it. Of course.

SPEAKER_00

I was so excited when you told me.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it was just so perfectly aligned with my beliefs and my, you know, vision for what this podcast could be. And so I'm really glad that people are buying into it and and want to continue to help, you know, add to such an incredible movement, hopefully.

SPEAKER_00

No, definitely. You're you're you're a huge part of this movement. And I think hearing the similarities from different athletes and different sports and male, female, like that's really important. And then also the differences because we are all different and we go through different things, and part of what we fought for is that these young athletes, young people can be their authentic selves and feel included and feel welcome in the space of sport or whatever. And so that's why the conversations are so important and your questions are so good. And, you know, I'm happy you got me to talk about some hard stuff because it I really want anyone listening, and if they hear and tell someone else, so that like again, they can meet challenges maybe in a better way than I did, or that they feel more confident going into something, just knowing that professional athletes feel the same way or just feel, I don't know, excited about the opportunities that are out there, especially for women in sports now. Yeah, it's booming. It is.

SPEAKER_02

And if you're not on board, you're getting left behind. Exactly. Exactly. We're missing out on the money. Yes. Oh, I'm so here for it. Okay, we gotta hop into a little segment, Dear Athlete, which is where we get to offer our advice to the younger generation of athletes. Perfect. First question is what's your go-to mindset reset after a tough game or a mistake?

SPEAKER_00

I tell myself I have an opportunity. So I try not to think too much about what the mistake led to, if we lost, if we conceded a goal, and because I can run over those mistakes and the negative self-talk can just go, go, go. Yeah. Now I have an opportunity to learn. Love. To not do it again. We have another game. I have training tomorrow. I can analyze my performance. Why did this happen? And I can be better. And if I do that, that's literally all I can do. Yeah. I can't change what happened last night. Control your controls. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Love it. I was gonna say kind of the same thing. Progression versus performance. I think we are so quick to think about what place did we get, what medal did we get, what title are we at, where are we ranked? Well, we can't control any of that. Especially not in gymnastics, anyways. Like it's all subjective. So if a judge doesn't like you because maybe you weigh a little bit more, maybe you your toes aren't as pointed as they could be, maybe you're not as flexible as they would personally like. That's not in your control. So understanding that and understanding what is in my control is my attitude, how I am with my teammates, how I respond to feeling like I've let myself down. How do I prepare better for next time? Those all are empowering feelings versus defeating feelings. And I've never felt more empowered than stepping into that gratitude space and seeing all the things I can't control. It's like, look at this. Like, you can leave this opportunity, like you said, feeling like there's lessons to be had and there's growth to be had. And that's that's exciting. There's always more growth to be had. And I think having that mindset is just like the most empowering feeling, especially as a female athlete, because there's there's never that ceiling. Yeah. Even though we may think it. So I think that's cool. Second, how do you know when it's time to walk away from your sport?

SPEAKER_00

Oh my gosh. Um, in my case, when you physically can't cannot walk, when you can't do it anymore. When you literally cannot walk. I think basically that. But when and I I don't like saying it's like between risk and reward or the the benefits and the like, but what I was getting out of the game versus I think what I could get out of life, it started to become very clear that I wasn't able to be my best self and give all of me to the sport anymore because I was in so much pain and because um I started to feel like the the the energy I'd be able to give if I wasn't focusing so many hours and again not wanting to do too many extracurriculars because I was saving, I was protecting my body, preserving yes, it was so much self-preservation and not a lot of living.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And I think I one of the things I'm most proud of is that every day I got to play soccer for my entire life, I loved it. I have no like, oh, I wish I had enjoyed that while I knew. No. Every game I felt lucky to play. Every training, I gave a hundred percent of what I had that day. Like I know that for a fact. So I was able to feel that contrast very, very acutely that now I I'm starting to, in order to still be that person, because I will I will always be that teammate and that player. I have nothing left for my husband, for my friends, for my parents. Like, I have nothing left.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And that's I had to give something to the person, the woman, the maybe hopefully mom, like the person that I would spend the other hours of the day, and also the person that I would spend the rest of my life with. I'm like, I have to give to her now.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And I just, I knew, I knew, I knew I had to because you were feeling called to a different yeah. I wanted to feel like I was living.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. I think a lot of it too is when you are injured, we forget, like, you're forced to be in a very selfish space. You're constantly thinking about yourself, you're constantly thinking about how can I feel better on the field? How can I be more prepared? How can I do this, this, this. And I don't think you're a selfish person. So, like having that kind of forced perspective to be like, I have to focus on me constantly. I'm sure it was probably really painful to be like, I want to give to my friends, I want to give to my family. Yeah, but I'm forced to give so much to myself right now because I'm in survival mode.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I mean, that is really, really how it felt like constantly in this fight or flight. And I community is everything to me, and people is like people mean everything to me. And so, yes, I was I was giving a lot to my teammates, and they still mean a lot to me, and I will still continue to hype them up and be there for them. But yes, like you said, my family and like the community, and just again, like to be able to authentically be like, I feel good and I'm happy, and I was like masking a little bit because it was so important to me to be a leader for the team, even though I was in pain and all these things, and it just starts to really wear on you. And I think that's where I really wanted to make a commitment after, of course, like everything I'm preaching to young girls and to my teammates about like be your authentic self, say if you need help, like all these things. Like, I can't even do that. I'm not I'm not able to do that if I keep going down this path and like trying to extend, prolong my career. Um, but I think again, I I also played so long that I was like, I've done everything that everything realistic that um I wanted to achieve, I was able to achieve. So I was able to to have that, and that makes me really lucky.

SPEAKER_02

I know that you got that closure. You gave so much of yourself to the sport, and I'm sure I mean now you're still giving so much of yourself to the sport, but in a different capacity, and I think now you are truly living authentically.

SPEAKER_00

I think so too, and that's what I want for everybody. Like that's what I'm fighting for. So that whether you're, you know, a young girl who wants to play sport, or like if you're a player in the league who we want to have better conditions and resources for, it's like so you can be yourself and get paid and do what you love and have all the opportunities in the world because women deserve those opportunities. So I think again, like to be able to live authentically in something that I've preached so long, and I knew I I wouldn't be able to do that. So I'm glad you can feel that I'm oh my god, yeah. My authentic self right now.

SPEAKER_02

Well, I'm like, I feel like well, one, we would not be aligned if you were masking like that. Let me tell you, I can see right through that shit. I did it for a long time. But like also, I mean, I think it's such a beautiful full circle moment to know that you gave so much to your sport. But I think the sport, as much as you think maybe when you were playing the sport needed you and your team needed you, I think the sport needs you a lot more now in this capacity.

SPEAKER_00

That is a great way to look at it.

SPEAKER_02

And it's a really cool thing. You're welcome. So now you can go to bed knowing that you know you can sleep well at night, knowing that you are really stepping into such an important role for the sport and for female athletes as a whole. You're gonna continue to be such a cool advocate. And I'm so excited that I'm here along for the ride because you're such an inspiration to me. And I really truly believe like it was divine timing that we met at this time of our lives, and you launched a podcast literally a week after me. Yeah, or two weeks after me.

SPEAKER_00

Wild.

SPEAKER_02

We were literally getting ready to get onto the field to do the second half of the sports web. Or no, no, just the first. We literally just because of gnasts.

SPEAKER_00

Because I wanted to ask you all these questions, and you were like, actually, I'm gonna ask you questions because I have a podcast. I was like, wait, what? So obviously, you have to come on uh Kelly O'Hara and my podcast. Me, I'm not even a soccer player. Of course, because you're also gonna get Kelly to do gymnastics.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, okay. I'm here for it. Let's do it. No, we're can you tell them what your podcast is so that they can tune in? Because I know that we've definitely got some new soccer fans just from meeting you and getting to know your personality. I'm sure people are so strapped in for the season. So I want them to know how to follow.

SPEAKER_00

Well, playing soccer does not feel like a life or death situation as gymnastics does. However, if you want to hear about soccer and hear Olympian World Cup champion Kelly O'Hara and me talk about soccer and women's sports, we have a podcast called Time Wasting on Just Women's Sports, and it's out every Tuesday wherever you listen to your podcasts.

SPEAKER_02

Ah, I love it. So then you can listen to her podcast on Tuesday and then mine on Wednesday. Period. There you go. That's your new routine, you guys. Love in. It's gonna be a really fun season, so I'm super excited to follow along. You're doing amazing things. Thank you. I can't wait to continue to girl boss next to you.

SPEAKER_00

I can't wait to do content when we're at an angel city game together. So stay tuned for that, everyone.

SPEAKER_02

Stay tuned, and hopefully, we'll see you in person at an Angel City game if you're local to LA. Yes. I love you guys so much. Thank you for tuning in, and I will see you next Wednesday. Bye. Did you get that? That is so fun. What is happening? My heart is done. Oh my god.