Gracie & Pua on UCLA Gymnastics, Getting Recruited, & Taking Risks

In this episode of Athletes After Hours, I sit down with former UCLA gymnast and NCAA National Champion, Pua Hall to talk about the transition out of elite athletics and what it really means to rediscover yourself after sport. As a former elite gymnast who helped lead UCLA to a national championship, Pua knows firsthand the pressure, intensity, and emotional ups and downs that come with competing at the highest level. Now navigating life in her 20s as a real estate agent and sound healer, Pua opens up about finding peace, purpose, and identity beyond gymnastics while helping the next generation of athletes feel calmer, more grounded, and better equipped for both athletic excellence and life outside of sport. We dive into mental health, nervous system regulation, healing through movement and mindfulness, and the importance of creating safe spaces for athletes to simply be human. This conversation felt incredibly full circle for both of us as former teammates reflecting on everything our sport gave us and took from us. I think so many athletes, former athletes, and even people simply navigating change and pressure in their own lives will deeply connect with this one. I hope you enjoy this episode, and I’ll see you next Wednesday 🤍

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Look at us. We would have never we would never be here if we both went to those schools. I think we would also probably be in a lot of therapy. Yeah. She's a former elite gymnast, second team All-American, and NCAA champion. She is now in full girl boss mode and became a founder and CEO of Solstice Collective, a wellness brand rooted in sound healing, nervous system regulation, recovery, and performance. She has facilitated experiences for over 20,000 individuals, working with organizations including UCLA Athletics, Equinox, Amazon, Mazda, and professional athletes, helping high performers recover from injury, burn out, and reconnect to balance beyond sport. Pooh Hall, welcome to Athletes After Hours.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Thank you, Gracie. I'm so grateful to be here. I feel like we've been talking about this for so long. So just to see this manifest in real life is a treat. It's a dream. And I feel blessed to share this space with you.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

I cannot believe we're here. I literally can't believe we're here. We've been talking about this for so long. Just like the process of girl bossing so close to the sun, but like maintaining that level of balance has just been so fun to share with you because we have this like bond now.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Yeah, where we're sharing experience.

SPEAKER_01 1:23

Yes, like we're in the trenches together.

SPEAKER_00 1:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:25

And I could not be more grateful to have someone that I can just truly connect with on such a deep level and confide in. So I appreciate you coming on today.

SPEAKER_00 1:35

Thank you. I feel the same.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

And I love that we also support each other's visions and show up for each other in so many incredible ways. But I just wanted to start off with obviously our athletic background and everything, because this is athletes after hours. So we got to get into the athlete side first. Yes. And then I can't wait to hear more about your businesses and all the incredible things that you're doing now.

SPEAKER_02 1:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:59

But I want to know when did gymnastics become more than just an after-school activity for you?

SPEAKER_00 2:06

I feel like since I started, it never was something that I did just for fun, although like that was the intention behind it. I think really quickly I started to excel in the sport. And before I knew it, I was Olympic route, literally so extreme in it, where I would live in a different state without my family, being housed with a new family to be able to train. And oh my god, I had no idea you did that. So I mean, the first time I did it, I was nine years old. I moved from Oahu to Ohio, and for a month I lived with a host family. And after about six months, I realized that that just wasn't the right place for me. So I ended up moving different places to find a better situation. And then I did it again when I was 13 years old, and I lived in Texas and was stayed there for two years without my family to train. And I think that is when I really discovered the opportunity that gymnastics was providing. It was showing me a different life than I have ever been exposed to. And throughout all the different places I lived and all the different journeys I was part of, I think each part played such a significant role in who I became as a person. And because I quickly realized that gymnastics was sort of the ticket for me out of the situation that I was in and to a better future, and especially Olympic year when I broke my knee to I never would have made it to the Olympics, but the goal was trials. And when elite gymnastics paused, because I broke my knee Olympic year, at that point I had to really dive deep into what I wanted with my life, with my career, with the sport. And I decided to stop doing elite gymnastics and to start getting recruited for college because I knew that that was something that I wouldn't have been able to attain without the sport.

SPEAKER_01 3:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:54

And once I started going to the recruiting route, it was a whole journey in itself of committing to one school, thinking I knew best, and having this whole future ahead of me of this vision that I saw. And then a year later, everything coming to light and the universe kind of just showing me what I needed to see and also being so supportive. My mom was a really big part in this, too, of going of just playing a role in where I ended up being at, but switching my commitment to UCLA and now understanding too that everything that I thought that I wanted was actually so much bigger than I could even imagine. And it all took just like me focusing in on what I had control over, my training, my recovery, and my own um like willpower to be able to reach my potential. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 4:49

I love that you said that you discovered your ability to have autonomy on your future. Because I think in gymnastics specifically, mind you, you're my first uh gymnast guest, by the way. Summered. Very fun that we finally have a gymnast on. But I think there's so many times where we're put on this fast track and you're literally like on the frickin' autobahn, and you're like, how do I get out of this car? I blinked. I was literally thinking about what classes I was excited for in fourth grade, and now I'm thinking about the Olympics and what school I'm gonna commit to, and like all these things that happen so quickly. And I thankfully now I think there's a rule that you can't commit until junior year. But I mean, we were getting recruited in seventh, eighth grade.

SPEAKER_00 5:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:34

Like it's it's insane how quick.

SPEAKER_00 5:37

It was so normalized.

SPEAKER_01 5:39

It's so crazy that you're like kind of shoved into this, yeah, fast-paced um thought process. And I think I want to go back quickly to you said that you were originally committed to ARK and Saw, right? Yeah. We need to talk about this because this is actually an insane story. And we just recently discovered this.

SPEAKER_00 6:01

We've talked about this too. I know.

SPEAKER_01 6:02

We didn't even know though. We had no idea until we talked and we were like, wait, is that the same per person that I was committed to? Okay, so let's we need to break this down for everyone because we need to tell this story. It's so insane.

SPEAKER_00 6:14

It's a wild story, and I think it's crazy because it's so reflective of just like the world we live in. Stuff happens, it comes to light, and then you adjust and you adapt. But at the time, I truly just I didn't know any better. I knew what I knew. And sophomore year of high school, like I went on to all of these different visits, and one of the visits I went on was Arkansas, and I was with this group of girls who were amazing. And the way that they set up recruiting, and I have to like preface this to that Arkansas Gymnastics has a completely different coaching staff now, who you know personally and love. Yes, we love Jordan, love Kyla, love Chris, like sisters, and I think different programs. Exactly. Like this is back in the day that no longer exists. So I want to get that clear. But at the time, I was kind of put into the situation and felt like that was my only option. So I was the fourth girl going into the meet into the meeting, into the office, the three girls before me, all committed, so happy. Like it would have felt weird, truthfully, like if I didn't. And at the time, too, I was like the people pleased you. I felt like I had no other choice. Literally, I just wanted to please the coaches, I wanted to please my family, I wanted to please like my boyfriend at the time. I was like, oh, can we go here together?

SPEAKER_01 7:26

Like, I thought he was committed there as well.

SPEAKER_00 7:28

He would have. Like, I just have like a different vision for my future. And because it was so like handed to the silver platter, I was like, I just can't say no to this.

SPEAKER_01 7:38

It was a full-right scholarship. 100%. And that's like the dream for every high school gymnast.

SPEAKER_00 7:42

They built their entire recruiting class around me. Like I was supposed to be their star gymnast. And I was like, I made for this, like I can't turn this down.

SPEAKER_02 7:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:51

So, as excited and grateful as I was for the opportunity, I also trust in the divine orchestration of how things play out. And after I committed verbally, which again, I was so young at the time, I just only knew what I knew. I all of this stuff started to come up around the program that I didn't originally sign up to.

SPEAKER_02 8:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:11

And once I started hearing the dynamic about the culture and about the coaching staff and how it was not alignment of the type of environments that I wanted to hang around, and that the one head coach specifically was moving very funny in a way that I never would.

SPEAKER_01 8:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:30

And nor did I even want to be part of. Like, I couldn't ignore that.

SPEAKER_01 8:34

Absolutely. And it's also your future. You're investing in four the next four years of your career. And it's also, it's like college gymnastics, as much as we put so much pressure on it, it is the victory lap. It's the last four years of your entire career. The peak, the pinnacle. And it's like, if you're putting that in the hands of someone who's not trustworthy.

SPEAKER_00 8:53

Yeah. And I knew how important it was for me to be in an environment that felt safe. Yeah. And that felt supportive and that I could trust. And when all of this stuff started coming up around their program, I couldn't ignore it. And at the time, I didn't know what to do about it either. Yeah. You know, I was hearing stuff from the girls on the team. I was hearing stuff from the gymnastics gossip message boards. Like it was the message board. Yeah. That's how we were getting information at the time too. You know, like we really just before like social media was really a big thing. Like we just didn't know. And all of these stories started coming out about what was happening. I don't know how deep we should go into that.

SPEAKER_01 9:31

Oh, we're going into it. This is athletes after hours, babe. We can dive the fuck in.

SPEAKER_00 9:36

Oh my gosh. So basically, I started to hear how one of the coaches on the staff was sleeping. Like it sounds even crazy to say because I know it's actually like literally a TV show. What world are we in? But she was sleeping. And these are just like what we heard. What I heard at the time. This was like a game of telephone, but I have fact-checked your own stuff. But like I have her rumblings as well. What I was hearing at the time, which completely altered my decision in going there, was one of the coaches was sleeping with a player on the football team who was also dating one of their star gymnasts. No. So I was like, oh, messy. I just scandalous. It just, yeah, it felt so messy and so inappropriate. But these are grown-ups. And then it just like it caused a whole division. I grew up around chaos. I grew up around a lot of division. And like I didn't want to that was a pattern and a generational cycle that I wanted to break. Yeah. And I knew that going into those environments wouldn't be doing that.

SPEAKER_01 10:42

No, because you become who you surround yourself with. Exactly. And in entering that toxic environment would have just perpetuated that issue that you've dealt with your whole life. Yeah. Which is just not it.

SPEAKER_00 10:52

And I know everyone's doing the best what they have at the time. You're so cute. She's like trying to be so PC right now.

SPEAKER_01 10:58

She's like, I know everyone was trying their best. We all go through our own things. Yeah. But also there needs to be some accountability.

SPEAKER_00 11:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:05

That is insane behavior. I really value integrity. Yes. And there was a lack of that at the time. Well, then there's no trust that they're gonna actually care about you and your well-being if they can do that to their own athlete. Like that, just to me, is like being a coach has is such a huge responsibility. You're shaping characters, you're especially in college, it's like the most impressionable time of your life. And you're putting your yourself in a position where this person could not be safe to be around. Exactly. And that's where it's just like I draw the line.

SPEAKER_00 11:37

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 11:38

Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_00 11:38

And then a year later, after I committed and all of this stuff started coming out, thank God for the James's ports because which my mom was part of, period. Shut up, mom. He saw that the girl who was supposed to go to UCLA uh my year and was a vault and floor worker ended up deferring to go to the Olympics. So they had a spot open up that I don't even know who it was at the time. Was it Aussie Peko? No, because she was on the team. Uh uh. Someone else that ended up not even coming to the Olympics. And not even going to the Olympics? Or did they go to the Olympics? They did, but I think it was for another country. Oh my God. Yeah. Crazy. Yeah. So yes. It was someone else. Shout out them for setting you up. I know. Thank you for that is divine timing though. For following your own path because it allowed me to follow mine and the moving parts just kind of fit in perfectly. Yep. And my mom, I like have a screenshot to this day of her sending an email to Miss Val and being like, I know this is a shot in the dark. But my daughter is a vault and floor worker, like, would love the opportunity to see if this is a good fit. Shoot your shot, Mama. I live in my shoot my shot era. So I love that. Ms. Val answers back and she was basically the same response. She's like, I love anyone who takes a shoot shot in the dark. Yeah. She's like, Can you come out next week? So of course we make things happen. A week later, I fly out to LA and then I take an unofficial visit to visit the camp right the campus. Immediately fell in. Like I, when I stepped foot on campus, like I knew that it felt like home.

SPEAKER_01 13:03

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 13:04

It was so deeply ingrained in my own body and my soul. Like chills. The alignment of finally being in a place that I knew I was meant to be in was so much better than I could even ever imagine or visualize myself.

SPEAKER_01 13:18

So and also I think I think feeling that safety. Yes. Like your nervous system being able to just relax and enjoy like holy crap, I'm completely present in this in this space. And knowing that like you can trust the people that are gonna be carrying your future and your legacy.

SPEAKER_00 13:36

Yes. And intuitively too, like it was so soul confirmed. Like I have screenshots of Facebook statuses and like all of these other posts of like at the track today, like it's my dream to be a Bruin. Like before I even knew it was even possible.

SPEAKER_01 13:52

That's cool.

SPEAKER_00 13:52

And I think even in my senior speech, like the first time I ever heard of UCLA was like from an NTV show, The Hills. I'm crazy. Until I started getting to that stage and I realized that it was possible for me. So I think that like your soul and your intuition always knows where you belong. And like if you end up veering a different path, like things will happen divinely that will get you back on track. Yeah whether it's your mom sending an email or whether it's you putting in the work, I think it's all of the above. Like there are different parts that it takes to make things happen. Yep. And if you just trust the process of it and know that going after your dreams are worth it and you do that, then like they eventually come true. 100%.

SPEAKER_01 14:38

And I think too, a lot of times what we we tend to forget is our gut is 99% right. Always. I mean, mine's always right. I don't know about you, but mine's 100% spot on.

SPEAKER_00 14:51

It's a feeling.

SPEAKER_01 14:51

And my body knows. And I think that when we plan too far ahead and we create these identities that we think we should have and possess, it's like it blinds us from this clear gut feeling. Because then we question it and we're like, okay, but like my gut's colliding with this image that I created in my head.

SPEAKER_00 15:11

Yeah, it's like ego versus the heart of like what you think you want versus like what's actually meant for you. And like you have to turn the way off. Turn the top one out of your way.

SPEAKER_01 15:21

Because it really does get in the way. Yeah. But I do have to quickly tell much of it. I know what you're saying.

SPEAKER_00 15:25

I know you have like these stories connect. We didn't even know until we literally copy paste.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

So, okay, as she's telling me this, I'm actually like in my head, I'm like, oh my God, that's literally so scary similar. We I knew that we were like soul sisters from the rip because we we competed on vault together.

SPEAKER_00 15:43

We were trauma bonded.

SPEAKER_01 15:46

We'd be at the end of the runway crying. Literally, like we can get more into the trauma bond like about the vault and like what was happening outside of the gym.

SPEAKER_00 15:52

Like it's just like a lot. Not much.

SPEAKER_01 15:54

But we were at something together, like an event or something, and we were telling someone about our college experience, or we were in the car or something, and she starts telling this story. And I'm sitting in the backseat with her, and I'm like, You're like, my jaw is on the floor. I'm like, how did you know my story? Like, I'm confused. So then basically, let me tell you. So basically, what happened was I was um a sophomore when I committed to my dream school or what I thought was my dream school. So when I was a sophomore, I got recruited by this woman that coached or was supposed to coach Pua.

SPEAKER_00 16:37

That I committed to, that she also committed to originally.

SPEAKER_01 16:41

So Pua, this okay, wait, let me just break. Can we just call her Becky for the for the sake of the story? So this bitch Becky. She recruits me along with like four or five, honestly, maybe even like six other girls. I remember my class being massive. And she sold herself, man. She was like really, really good. She was like a car salesman. Like she was very good.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

She knows how to turn it on.

SPEAKER_01 17:09

Yes, she was really good at recruiting. And she told me that I was gonna be the star, that I was gonna be literally that I was gonna be the freaking one that carried the entire team on my shoulders. I am an underdog. I love people underestimating me. The thought of someone telling me, like the thought of an entire program holding on my shoulders gave me more anxiety than I could have ever thought in a million years. I was like, yeah, no. Like, I know I was doing really well in my senior year. I knew that I was like, I had trajectory to grow and evolve and continue to get better. But the thought of me being the best one on the team made me feel one sick to my freaking stomach. But also, it made me feel like, well, then that's my peak. I'm not gonna feel pushed by anyone. I'm not gonna be in an environment where I'm gonna grow. It's almost putting me in a small pot.

SPEAKER_00 18:01

And what happened to the team too, I feel like that's what so many gymnasts looked forward to when it got came to college was being part of a team.

SPEAKER_01 18:07

Yes. It's not just about the individual anymore. And that's what club was was the individual. And that was changed. That doesn't sound like that doesn't fire me up the way that maybe some other people might, just because it's an ego feeder, right?

SPEAKER_02 18:18

Totally.

SPEAKER_01 18:18

And so then, but I still was like, this is a great program. I was really excited with the girls that were coming in with me. We all got really close. Like we went on official visits, unofficial visits. We all got, we had a group chat, we were texting every day in it. Like it was that was really the biggest thing for me. And and my biggest selling point was also the assistant coach. I had worked with him at a Utah camp and he was a phenomenal coach. And I just like looked up to him so much. I knew that he was gonna hold my career in his hands, and he was gonna be a good person to take my career to the next level. Um, it's too bad he wasn't the head coach because Miss Becky Girl ends up uh causing some drama on the team. So I'm committed to the school for around two and a half years. And in my senior year, I go on official visits. And on one of the visits that I was on, the girls had pulled me aside and they were like, Gracy, we have to tell you something. And I was like, What? And we had like this cute little bake-off thing that we were doing as a team to bond with the old girls that were on the team already. And um, they like pulled me aside and they were like, basically run.

SPEAKER_00 19:31

Like when the girls are saying that, that's when you know.

SPEAKER_01 19:34

Babe, run. Like, you don't even know. And they told me these horror stories about how they were told to take laxatives to lose weight. They were told that they had to wear leotards every day at practice because they had it would force them to look at themselves in the mirror and feel ashamed to be in a leotard, so it would make them work harder. Just unreal stories to the point where I'm sitting there panicking. Like my whole life flashed before my eyes. I'm like, what the hell am I doing? What did I sign up for? And I at this point had already signed. Oh yeah. Oh, I didn't know you signed. I signed my national letter of intent.

SPEAKER_00 20:15

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 20:16

So that's a legal binding contract. Yeah. And um again, divine timing. But a week before my graduation, she got fired because of all the stuff that came out. And I called one of the assistant coaches and I was like, can you please let me out of my contract? I can't be, I can't go to the school. Like, it's just so fair. I don't want to be here. This isn't what I signed on for. I don't know who the hell is gonna be my head coach. And that's such a big component of going to a college and choosing a program, is who's gonna have my future in their hands. And I ended up, I was able to decommit because it was kind of a loophole. The head coach was no longer there. They could no longer hold me to this legal contract.

SPEAKER_02 21:06

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 21:06

The assistant coach begged me to stay. He was like, please don't leave. But I was like, babe, you don't even know if you're gonna be there next week. Like, and he wasn't. He literally got fired along with the head coach. So um, long story short, yeah, we basically had the same freaking story, but I decommitted literally a week before graduation, had no idea where the hell I was gonna go. I broke out in hives the entire week of school. I remember having to go to the nurse like every day because I was so anxious and stressed. And all the spots were taken, all the full right scholarships were gone by sophomore year. So I ended up getting connected, hearing through the grapevine that they needed a vault her at UCLA and got connected to Miss Val. She ended up coming over to my house and offering me a walk on spot.

SPEAKER_00 21:51

So Miss Val. I know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:52

So Miss V. And yeah, she came over to my house in St. Clemeney, in my parents' house, and she was like, Do you want to walk on? You up for a challenge? And I was like, this is the kind of challenge I want to sign on for. Yes. And also just being able to meet her in person, feel her vibe, feel her aura, know that she was gonna be a safe space for me. Yeah. Um, and also amplify my career. I was like, I know this is gonna be a bitch of a challenge, but like I've never shied away from a challenge before. So I was like, let's do it. But yeah, that's how I became a walk-on, too.

SPEAKER_00 22:29

Crazy. Yeah. And I think once you say yes to what's bigger than you, yeah, and you say yes to what you know you're meant for and your potential and your trajectory and your capabilities, I think is when you really start to like level up and you start to rise because for the first time, like without my ego or to sound conceited, like I was in rooms where I always felt like I was like one of the best. But I knew that like I and I worked really hard to get there. Yeah, but and like the whole method that Miss Val really taught us with like iron sharpens iron, and you are who you surround yourself with. Yeah, and to be surrounded by like world champions and Olympic champions and like the top of the top, the biggest names in the game, all it did was help us rise to that occasion, yeah. And it made us better in the process, dude.

SPEAKER_01 23:18

Literally, like I would 1000% pick a to be a big a little fish in a big pond than to be a big fish in a little pond. Always because we have the growth mindset, and I think the moment we feel like there's no more growth is when we choose to leave that environment. Yes, and I think we've done a really good job of doing that, like since entering adulthood is like just finding the big pools and the big ponds and like choosing the challenge to grow into that big pond than to shy away from that challenge and to feed the ego and be the big fish in the small pond. It's like, no, I'm good. I'd rather be challenged and I'd rather grow. And I think then you also attract people that are like-minded. Yeah, yeah. Because then the people that are really happy with being in a small pond are like, okay, bye. Like, I guess we're not gonna be in the same pond anymore.

SPEAKER_00 24:14

And all love.

SPEAKER_01 24:15

All love. Yeah, but we're just not serving one another anymore. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:20

But I I love that. And how crazy is that story? I still can't get over that. Because these conversations are important for gymnasts and any athlete getting recruited to understand like the process of saying yes to such a big pivotal moment in your life, too. Like what you say yes and no to matters, and who you surround yourself with matters. And if you find out information about a program that no longer aligns with your values or what you envision for yourself, like you have discernment, you have autonomy, like you do have the right to make a change and to do what you feel is best for you.

SPEAKER_01 24:51

You have to put yourself first as well. Yeah. Like, yeah, it's it's great to have this title of full ride scholarship athlete, but I had to check my ego at the door and I was like, would I rather be a full ride athlete somewhere I hated and was miserable, or would I rather be humbled and and hungry and and you know, be a walk-on at a program where I know I'll grow? Exactly. And I think just understanding that those decisions have some weight. Yeah. And it is really important. Even changes the trajectory of your future. Look at us. We would have never we would never be here. I know if we both went to those schools. I think we would also probably be in a lot of therapy.

SPEAKER_00 25:27

Yeah.

unknown 25:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:30

And honestly, not that I'm not in therapy general. Like we still had our traumas, but I feel like when you do level up and you start to enter into these new environments, and the more you expand in terms of like accomplishments and accolades and environments, like the other end of that does exist. Like we live in a world that is full of duality. And even like I'm experiencing this in real time, like with this year, of like the more that I ask to expand my capacity and joy and play and love and opportunities and abundance, like the more that the other end is exist as well. So, like the stress and the overwhelm and all of the things that come with it. But I think that as you start to level up and you start to be part and expand your own capacity to hold all of the things, the more stronger you get, the more resilient that you get. And the better it gets to be able to navigate those different environments, and the more you're able to stretch yourself in a way that feels safe without having to do it without sacrificing your own needs, your own values, your own feelings, your own worth. Yeah. And I think that's part of it too, is you start to level up throughout life.

SPEAKER_01 26:42

This is the year of girl bossing with balance. Yes, exactly. It really is. Because I think you and I have both experienced uh a pretty gnarly year. I know that oh my god, dude. Okay, I survived, like and like we chased and chased and chased this in what felt like an impossible goal and an impossible life that we wanted for ourselves. And then now that we have it, and now that we're kind of living all of the prayers and the manifestations that we created, I think understanding that now we can have the balance and we can have this and that it's part of it too. Yes, and it's so key for longevity. Yes, because otherwise we're gonna burn out like we're gonna be a pile of dust by the end of the year.

SPEAKER_00 27:33

And the version of ourselves that are showing up to these things aren't gonna be the version of ourselves that we know we're capable of being too. And I think we as athletes, you kind of have to learn that the hard way. Yeah. Because we're so conditioned and we're so taught to override our emotions, our intuition, and what we think is best for us because we want to please our coaches or our parents or our ego or the parts of ourselves that we know we're capable of. And all of that is valid, but I think it gets to a point where you do reach a point where you're burnt out. Yeah and you're not showing up in the capacity or the energy that you know you're capable of showing up in. And I think it's really understanding well, how can I start to include these parts of me that are screaming for attention, the parts of me that just need rest, the parts of me that needs more play and to have fun, the parts of me that need to take care of my baseline needs. Am I getting enough sleep? Am I nourishing enough? Am I eating? Yeah. Yeah. And it's easy to kind of avoid all of that when we're so conditioned and taught to just show up and perform. Yes. And to override that. And I think as athletes, a lot of us deal with that. And I think it's important to talk about it because the more you take care of yourself in the process, the better you show up as an athlete or as a CEO, or even just as a community member, or a sister, or a friend, or a daughter. Like it goes. It's so big.

SPEAKER_01 28:50

It's so big. And I think too, just understanding that like we don't have to function from a place of harm. Yes. And from a place of stress and from fight or flight. Because yes, I can look back on my career and you know, think back on all the times I was functioning out of a really, really bad place. And sure, like we made it work, but like I always wonder, I'm like, If I knew what I knew if I knew what I knew now, would I have put myself in that position or would I have done it differently? Yes. And I think it's it's tough because I never want to regret anything in my life.

SPEAKER_00 29:27

And we're grateful for the versions of ourselves that God is here too. It's in divine timing. We learn what we need when we're ready. 100%.

SPEAKER_01 29:33

But also you think back and you're like, and this is why we're doing this, because we we want to help the younger generation understand, like, you don't have to do it that way. There's not one way to do something. There's always so many different avenues and routes to do something. Even someone, I was just talking to someone about taking a year off of your sport. Like, we never talk about that. I wish that was normalized. I wish that they're done. Yeah. And like, not that I ever wanted to quit my sport or anything, but like for people that do want to quit, I always tell, like, I get people asking me all the time, you know, what if I want to quit or try something different? Go do it. Life is too short. Yeah. Go try it. Odds are, if you come back and you're even more passionate about your sport now, you'll come back better. Yeah. You'll play better, you'll be better, you'll have a way better relationship with your sport and your self-worth. Yes. And I think that understanding that you have autonomy is huge. And I think it's so fascinating, like talking to you. And I know that we're really, really close now because we're we've grown and matured to be able to have these really vulnerable conversations. I don't think we had that in college though. We didn't have the ability to really have that self-awareness. No, we couldn't connect.

SPEAKER_00 30:39

We didn't have the capacity to go there. Because all of our energy went to showing up and performing.

SPEAKER_01 30:45

We were in survival mode. That's all we knew. Oh my God. Do you look back on photos and you're like, your face, my face was so swollen. I know. I had so much cystic acne. I was so stressed out.

SPEAKER_00 30:54

You can just like see it in my eyes.

SPEAKER_01 30:55

Oh my God.

SPEAKER_00 30:56

Like, oh.

SPEAKER_01 30:56

I'm in survival mode. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just trying to make it. And I like, I want to ask you, like, you know, were there moments at UCLA where you were struggling behind the scenes? Weren't like more times than not, low-key.

SPEAKER_00 31:12

That was like the best worst time of my life.

SPEAKER_01 31:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:15

And there were after freshman year, I remember the coaching staff asking me if I wanted to medically retire. And I remember like just sitting in the bathroom, like crying, like silently on the phone with them. And just, and that was a like a lit of fire within. When was this? After freshman year. My freshman year. Really? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I didn't really perform. Well, thank God you didn't. Because we would never been on the team together.

SPEAKER_01 31:37

Wait, why would you have to medically retire? What happened?

SPEAKER_00 31:40

I mean, so backing up a little bit, my a year before I was supposed to go to UCLA, I found out that I broke my back.

SPEAKER_01 31:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 31:48

And I took my senior year of high school off and rested my body for the first time in my career. Wow. And I was given two options to either get surgery, year recovery, four-night hospital stay, like kind of a big deal.

SPEAKER_01 32:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:00

Or to go more of the holistic route, wear a back brace. My senior year, I liked the pizza cutters on the side. It was like a whole thing. Like holy crap! A really wild experience. And because at the time I had teammates, this injury was very common in gymnastics. And I had a teammate who went through with the surgery and had a metal rod in her spine and was still in pain. So I thought if I was going to be in pain either way, I might as well take this route and see where it gets me. And at the time, my mom sent me the study of Olympic track athletes being hooked up to neurotransmitter machines. And what they found was when your brain has a thought, it cannot tell the difference with it happening in your mind or in real life because it fires the same neural pathways. So I thought, perfect, I can just visualize all of my routines. My body's trained enough. I can finally rest, and it would not know the difference whether or not it was happening in real life or in my mind. So that's when I dove deep into meditation, visualization, and the mind-body connection. Cool. And of course, I had to tell the coaching staff at UCLA what was happening. And they were understanding about it. And I remember like, I don't even have pictures of me in this back brace because it was, it felt so like hush-hush. Like I didn't want anyone to know exactly. Like I you didn't want to lose your opportunity that I worked my entire life for. Absolutely. So I made it work. And freshman year, it was no surprise that my back was in bad shape. And that's why they asked me after the season. And that was the time too. Like we didn't even at the time it was super six. So there were six teams that qualified to the national championship. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:34

Throwback.

SPEAKER_00 33:35

And we didn't qualify. So it just wasn't a great year in general.

SPEAKER_01 33:40

And is anyone's freshman year good? Like we know.

SPEAKER_00 33:44

Would love to know. Like, what did you do? It was an absolute shit storm. So can't relate. One of the hardest years of my life. Oh, really? Like it was just such a culture shock. And I had no idea what I was doing. And I had no confidence after going so relatable. Yeah, just into a new space with like really amazing people that I just didn't feel good enough to be there. Like the imposter syndrome was so real. Yes. And on top of like the pressures that I put on myself of like wanting to be my best and knowing I wasn't competing at my best. Like I shut down. Yeah. And it showed in competition. And that's why they asked me. Cause I was not performing at the level that I knew that I was going to retire. Yeah, when we open up a spot. And I was like, no, offended, but like also real too. And I was like, I can see it, but like I'm not ready to be done. Like I refuse to be done on someone else's terms. Like I just feel like it's not time yet. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:34

So and at that time too, I think I don't know if it's still the case, but at UCLA, you would sign for four years. So they contractually owe you four years of eligibility.

SPEAKER_00 34:45

So I could have gotten like you would have secure. Yeah. I could have kept my scholarship, not been on the team. Yeah. And like there was something in me that I was like, this isn't an option. And honestly, but I I questioned that throughout the next couple of years because it was like shit so intense. And I was in so much pain, truly. And like I'm sure you remember, like I spent most of the time in the sauna. Yeah. Or like in the I remember, I'd be like, where's cook? In the sauna. Yeah. And there were different practices that I really leaned on to like overcome and get through those environments. But I think in general, like I have notes and messages to myself of just like affirmations that I used. Cause I really had for the first time in my life, I was on my own in general, besides like the times I was housed by families.

SPEAKER_01 35:32

So actually it felt like so isolating as well. Yeah. To be with some strangers that you don't know. They're not they're not so much. Yeah. You had to be independent for so long.

SPEAKER_00 35:42

So long. And part of me was really accustomed to that. But at the same time, like I knew I wasn't reaching my full potential. And I felt really lost and I felt really unsure about who I was and what I was doing. And I didn't know how to make things click until all of a sudden I had this moment where I realized that the best part of me and that the best is yet to come, like are already within me. I love that. Like there's nothing outside of me that I have to search for. Like everything I already need is located within. Yep. You just had to tap into it. Yes. And once I started to tap into that own inner strength and confidence and power, like I started to come out of it a different version of myself. Yeah. And competing with a broken back was a journey in itself because I wasn't really able to train. I feel like I mean, practice would for me would last maybe two hours and I'd have to wait there until everyone else was done.

SPEAKER_01 36:36

Thankfully, that was kind of the norm at UCLA because we had so many elites and Olympians that were broken coming into college. Like they had done their hardest part of their career before they got to UCLA. So I was really, I feel like the only healthy one, honestly.

SPEAKER_00 36:50

Like we were just trying to maintain.

SPEAKER_01 36:52

Oh my god. Like Hallie, I think she did like one routine a week.

SPEAKER_00 36:55

Hardly trained.

SPEAKER_01 36:56

Kate just only did like one routine a week. Yeah. Maddie Coshin, when she came in with me, she was only, she was fresh out of rear.

SPEAKER_00 37:03

Barely training.

SPEAKER_01 37:04

Barely training. Yeah. She had a torn bicep or labrum or something on her shoulder. We were all just happy. Everyone was just like stitched together and fallen apart. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:12

Broke and saved it for competition. Yeah. And that became so normalized for us too. But I think it really dialed into how do you show up when you it's time for you to perform?

SPEAKER_01 37:21

How do you talk to yourself?

SPEAKER_00 37:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 37:22

How do you visualize? How do you like you're ha you're forced to tap into that manifestation, that mindfulness, that that very strong neuropathway building. Yes, exactly. And I think that is such an incredible silver lining to having a tough go physically. Yes. Because like you would have never tapped into that next level. If you didn't have to. Yeah. And I mean, I always say like that's the mind is the edge. Any athlete that wants the edge, you can train all day you want. But like the moment you start talking bad to yourself, the moment you don't visualize, you start slacking in your mind, your body will never know what to do. Like exactly the body's just the result of what your mind tells it to do.

SPEAKER_00 38:07

But the mind either can break down or break through. And really, it's dependent on your mindset. Yeah. And the way you're taking care of it for it to manifest the way that it does. And I think like we even have photos like of us before every single meet, visualized so much. And like we didn't even like that's just what we did. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:26

It was thankfully, it's a very normalized thing. It's classic mental. But I I think that we weren't even scratching the surface though, which is so crazy to think about it.

SPEAKER_00 38:35

The mental cues too that we would have during before, during, and after all of our routines in competition and in practice, like really helped anchor us. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:45

And realizing that we can also apply that to life now. Like the positive affirmations, the avoiding the negative in our in our cues. Yep. It's like, well, why, why couldn't we say don't fall? Because your brain only hears the active work. Exactly. So then you only hear fall. So then it's it's gonna combat all the work that you've done. And it's like, then you think about all the stuff that you say yourself on a daily basis now as an adult. Yes. And you're like, why do I feel like shit? Oh, because you literally tell you. Telling yourself that every day. Yes. Like your words have so much energy and weight and meaning behind them. 100%. And I think we just forget that. But like it's very easy to know how much your words weigh when you have 12,000 fans screaming your name and you're falling on your ass on the vault. Like, and we both know what that feels like.

SPEAKER_00 39:32

Literally, like no. Oh my god. I was telling one of the coaches at the last alumni meeting. I'm like, yeah, sometimes I feel like a jump scare when I can because like I picture when I ate shit. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 39:44

Pauline is very triggering for us. As much as it's such a beautiful place to visit, I I couldn't go back to meets for it took time. I want to say like three years, like comfortably and like actually enjoy myself. Yes. The first like three, four years, my nervous system was loaded.

SPEAKER_00 40:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:02

I was sweating profusely every meet I went to.

SPEAKER_00 40:06

It felt like I was competing even though I wasn't. I like couldn't like tell or remind myself that I was on the other side of it yet.

SPEAKER_01 40:13

I literally couldn't even calm myself enough to be like, babe, you're not even doing it. Why are you stressing?

SPEAKER_00 40:19

Because those similar environments like activate that part in us that find it familiar. And it's hard because that version of ourselves who was like 20-year-old Gracie and Pua are now so present within us because of all the different parts of us. Yeah. And then it takes like present Pua to like reparent that part of us and be like, no, you're safe. You're okay. You made it. You did it. Like not doing it anymore. But don't worry. You know better now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:43

But how cool is it that that is literally the only toxic environment that we step into now? Like we've eliminated so many toxic environments for ourselves and so many triggers because we're so sensitive to it now. Yeah. And we're really hyper aware of like it's it. I wouldn't say it's not that deep. It is that deep. It's that deep who you surround yourself with, what you say to yourself, what you're putting in your body, how you're going about your days. Like that genuinely has such a compounding effect and a ripple effect for all the stuff that we're doing now. And like I truly believe that's a such a big testament to why we are able to grow boss as hard as we do because we're we're hyper-aware and we're very self-aware of like what is triggering and what is toxic and we avoid that at all costs. We didn't do that before.

SPEAKER_00 41:32

No, we actually used to run to it like a moth to a flame. But yeah, I loved the chaos. I loved the toxicity. It gave me the pain cold. Yes, like live for it. That's all I knew. Yeah. That's all we know. Until I learned better. And I was like, oh my God. So we're like, it's for the plot.

SPEAKER_01 41:51

And then we're like, babe, we lost the fucking plot.

SPEAKER_00 41:53

And I my eyes are swollen shut. Like I can't function. We say it's for the plot until we realize how freaking soft we actually were.

SPEAKER_01 42:02

We're too sensitive for the shit. Like, we can't be putting ourselves in these positions anymore.

SPEAKER_02 42:06

No.

SPEAKER_01 42:07

Um, I do want to quickly ask you before we get into all of that toxicity. Um, what made you flip a switch into leadership mode when we were in 2018? I I noticed this is something, this level of switch that you had in your psyche should be studied. Because I remember watching you. I mean, we had had a great relationship my freshman year, and it was your junior year. We're two years apart. Yeah. Um, because you finally figured it out because it's junior year. It's when you everything starts to click. You're obviously an upperclassman. Yeah. And you kind of took me under your wing and I was on vault and I was in your shoes struggling and getting taken off of events and getting, you know, put in the corner and basically told, like, you're not good enough to be on the floor. And I flipped a switch my sophomore year, and I remember seeing you and being so inspired by this, it almost looked like you had this like a different version, larger mold of yourself. And you stepped into that mold and you were like, I'm here, I'm this big, like aura of just like, I'm a force. And I think that it needs to be studied one. But I want to know kind of what flipped that switch for you to be able to be that leader and step into those shoes and show up for your team so that we could win a fucking national championship.

SPEAKER_00 43:29

I know. And that year was really a turning point for me. And I think I went into it from my perspective of the freshman year of just like feeling really alone and not enough. And I knew that the dynamic and culture on the team needed to change.

SPEAKER_01 43:43

Yeah. And you were very passionate about the culture, which I loved.

SPEAKER_00 43:46

For the first time, I had the opportunity to really have a voice and to be a leader. And me and my bestie Shelly, like, we took it really seriously. And I think the one thing that we that really Really switched it for myself and for the team was to emphasize this value around trust, trust within ourselves, trust within our teammates. We needed to make sure that as a team, we all had each other's back in and outside of the gym because that was something that we were kind of dealing with. Oh my God, yeah. At the time within the team and within the coaching staff as well. Like we wanted to know that we could count on each other. And I remember really instilling that value, not only within the team, but first within myself. I needed to be able to trust myself that I could count on my training. Yeah. That I could trust my mindset and my mental attitude, and that I could trust my journey. Yeah. That it brought me here for a reason, that I was worthy of being here and that we were capable of being national champions. I love that. And once I was able to build that trust within myself, it kind of rippled out into the team. It was infectious.

SPEAKER_01 44:58

Literally, the whole team. I remember being in that meeting. Do you remember that one meeting? Our com is we always had like coming to Jesus meetings. But there was this one meeting in particular where we all had our journals out and we were, I want to say there was like four girls that we knew weren't fully bought in. And there was that, like we needed those four girls to hop on board. And then we were like, again, on the fast track to winning that natty. Yep. And I remember those four girls that night or that day that we had that meeting cried, opened up, were vulnerable, did exactly what they needed to do in order for all of us to understand them better and to trust them. And then for them to trust us in return to be able to like, okay, cool. I was vulnerable. They responded correctly. Yes. Now I can trust them as well. Yes. And I think that we didn't realize the gravity of that moment until it was, you know, months later. And this was all like, I think in the preseason. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:54

And it started the moment we got back on campus.

SPEAKER_01 45:57

Oh, yeah. And like we, when we went to the movie night and the lights went off at 444. And like the weirdest alignment, like I literally, it was so crazy. Like, and I just remember having, and whether it was delusional or not, it was this delusional level of confidence in my team and in myself. And I think having that culture just be undeniably there. Yeah. It was like I blinked and we were national championships, and I wasn't even surprised. I know. It was like, even when we were on beam, and I'm pretty sure Oklahoma thought they won. They were popping champagne in the corner. I also thought they won. Oh, literally. I thought they won too. And I was like, whatever. I still think we're national champions. Yeah, totally. And I felt like it. We embodied it. We embodied it all year round. Yeah. And having that team culture of like, we're Natty Champs, whether we won it, like whether whether we win it or not, I think just solidified that final routine for Pang to go up. And we all had faith. We all trusted.

SPEAKER_00 46:56

Yeah. And I think when it goes when it comes to trust, what we were creating unintentionally, intentionally, was a safe space. Yeah. Because as you mentioned, like those girls were able to be vulnerable and to open up. And I think that like now with the education that I have on like nervous system regulation, a safe space really helps us reach our full potential because we feel safe enough to go there. And then when we were able to build that safe space within the team, it allowed everyone to become a version of themselves that they needed to become the best version of themselves in order to do what we did.

SPEAKER_01 47:31

And I think stepping out of self and leaving that at home and being like, I'm here for the team. Yeah. Every decision I make is for the team. And just devoting yourself to everyone around you. And I think also just everyone recognizing on a daily basis every time we trained, we saw it. Yeah. I remember we had an intersquad where it was like we were kind of shitting the bed. The team, the coaches were so mad at us, and they ended up leaving. And we came together and we were like, we don't need you guys. No one talked to us. We're gonna knock this out. And we ended up crushing it.

SPEAKER_02 48:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:06

And it was like we have the control. Yeah. We are going to dictate what this year looks like. And I think knowing that again, we have that autonomy, like females are so badass, but we're so convinced that we're not in control. And I think the moment we realize that how much control and power we actually have, you become empowered. Oh my God. It's like light years ahead of what we thought we were capable of. And I think continuing to surround ourselves with people that believe in ourselves more than we believe is really the key.

SPEAKER_00 48:39

And I want to lean on it as everything.

SPEAKER_01 48:41

Yeah. Like I really think that, like, not to get like sentimental and weird, but like I genuinely believe like you in my life is a reason I was brave enough to launch this podcast. So like I just want to thank you for that because like it truly has carried into our adulthood. And having like a teammate for life has been so special. So I just want to say thank you for that. Because thank you.

SPEAKER_00 49:03

This was fucking scary. And so I'm really glad. I know. I mean, we've been having this conversation for years.

SPEAKER_01 49:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:09

This is something that you've been wanting to do for a long time. And I feel like each time you like workshop it through of like, well, what's blocking you? Like, why haven't you? Like, there's no reason for us to not go after what we know we're meant for when these are conversations we're having over and over for a reason. Like, and I think, like you said, just like surrounding yourself with people who don't make your dreams feel too small or that don't make you feel weird for wanting to go after them, like is so important because it is that like deciding factor of whether or not you feel confident and supported enough to do that.

SPEAKER_01 49:43

And I was gonna say, being an entrepreneur is again gonna require so much delusional confidence. So I want to know, Miss CEO, who gave you that delusional confidence to go for it? Because it's I knew it was a process. I knew that it and I was kind of along for some of the ride. Yeah. But I feel like I'm a lot more invested now that you're like, because we can't kind of reconciled.

SPEAKER_00 50:06

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:06

Or I guess we kind of just came back together.

SPEAKER_00 50:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:09

Right when you started really chasing the stream.

SPEAKER_00 50:12

Yeah. So I would say the past versions of myself, honestly, because going through all of the challenges and adversity that I went through to get here, like I come from a really unique, but like not unique background. Cause I know a lot of our country is like handling stuff in their own way. But like I was raised by a teen single mom around substance abuse and all different types of abuse. And honestly, like I should be in the streets along with people I was raised around. Like, but for some reason, I'm not. And I think it's a more of a testament to my ability to overcome those challenges and those adversities. And when I look back, I know I have a proven track record for success and for resilience. So if anything, it was 20-year-old Pua who didn't know what she was doing and had to dig deep internally and figure out what that was. Or even six-year-old Pua who felt abused and lost and scared. Like I in meditation will sit with those versions of myself and now get to have those pep talks and to remind them of their power and their worth and their potential because I didn't really have a person to do that for me back then. Wow. And because I had to learn the hard way, like I now want to advocate and become a voice for anyone who is going through something similar because I know what's possible. I want to show people what's possible. And I know that everyone is capable with the right circumstances and support. Like I didn't do it alone. You know, it took leaning on my community, being blessed with amazing mentors and having amazing friends in my life that remind me who I am too. Like it does take a village, but I think it starts within. 100%.

SPEAKER_01 51:58

And it's it's such a huge testament to who you are as a person as well, because you have this innate ability to attract such beautiful souls. And we always say anytime we're together, we have this magnetic pull. I know, where we just attract the craziest people in the best way and like the craziest opportunities and the craziest moments, experiences. We just we're like the moment we're together, we have this thing that just like everyone orbits around us. It's insane, it's really weird. But I do think like you're such an angel, and like you have such a great ability to connect with humans on a deeper level. And I love that you felt so strongly called to do this because this is your purpose. This is why you were put on earth. And I don't think we're encouraged enough as a society to chase our passions and to invest in our passion. So huge props to you because it's scary as hell. I mean, coming from one girl boss to another, like it's so scary.

SPEAKER_00 52:58

No one really talks about the trenches of it, but like it is a fast track to self-development. Yeah. And I think like I saw recently too, like our business, like I believe in soul contracts. So I believe that like I have a soul contract with my business. Like my business is of course an entity. Yeah, it's an LLC, but like it literally is an entity, like it's an energy. Like the relationship I have with my business. I'm like, how am I nurturing my business? How am I it's a commitment that you've made to taking care of my business?

SPEAKER_01 53:26

Really reach your potential as well. Yes. It's a promise that you made to your future self. Yes. And I love that because I don't think we think about that enough. And you are gonna be you're gonna continue to inspire so many people to chase their dreams, thank you, to create spaces that they deserve to be in. Like we don't have identity crisis because we created these opportunities for ourselves. We created the space, and we worked so hard for it. Yes, and I always say it's so much better to work hard for something to have than to have it handed to you. So I think being able to recognize the gifts that we've been blessed with, but also honoring honoring the the amazing gifts that we worked for. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:09

Is like both.

SPEAKER_01 54:11

Yeah, it's huge.

SPEAKER_00 54:12

Both. And I think right now too, we're in a really cool, unique, and specific time where like a lot of new paradigms are being created. Social media is a whole new world in itself. And being a CEO, like I'm so passionate about creating business that doesn't result in burnout. That is soul led, that is nervous system regulated and informed. And I think because that we are here to create these new spaces that haven't yet existed, like we get to give other people permission to do the same. Because like I think there needs to be more third spaces and more spaces where people feel accessible and like they belong. And I think that's something that we for the first time in like our world, because of social media and because of the way that things are right now, like have the power to do that.

SPEAKER_01 54:56

Yeah, I can agree more. When you were leaving UCLA, did you feel like there was I guess maybe a part of you that felt lost, and then also a part of you that you knew had room to grow? Always.

SPEAKER_00 55:14

And I think too, like we're developed as athletes to be a champion. Yeah. And then after athletics, no one, you kind of just like are dropped. There's no playbook, there's no support system, there's no resources, there's no guide book on what to do next and how to transition from life after sport. And I would say, like, my biggest piece of advice is to find hobbies before you're done, to start creating your identity and you as a person outside of your sport, because sport is not life. You are. Yeah. And if you wait until you're done with your sport, it'll feel so jarring and shocking. It'll be so much harder to do versus you're literally gonna be mourning a death of your grieving process. It is such a grieving process. Um, whether you're prepared or not. Totally. It it happens, whether immediately or not, too. Sometimes it comes up later. And I think when you're grieving the version of yourself who was an athlete, that identity of being an athlete, the environments of being in your sport, like your self-worth being wrapped up in your sport.

SPEAKER_01 56:19

Exactly. And your accolades. Yes. Like, oh, no one's telling me that I'm a perfect 10 anymore.

SPEAKER_00 56:24

Yes, like you're starting over from zero. Yeah. And of course, we have all of these amazing life skills that we gained through athletics, but there's only so much that those skills can transfer when it comes to your own identity. Like we were also not taught to like we're not taught how to apply them. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 56:40

I think that's where the outside disconnect is. Yeah, like we're now at the ripe age of 27 and 28, realizing the tools that we had from college and how we can apply them to real life. Yeah. But like it really didn't happen until we were forced into a really uncomfortable space where we're chasing dreams, we're building businesses, we're, you know, very uncomfortable. And then we're like kind of in that fight or flight of like, so how do I survive in this season? Yeah. Okay, let me kind of backtrack and go back to the things and the tools that helped me. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 57:14

Yeah, exactly. And I think that, and it's hard too, because not every athlete knows when their career is ending.

unknown 57:21

No.

SPEAKER_01 57:21

And lol COVID ending months.

SPEAKER_00 57:23

Yeah, like, you know, there are so many unexpected circumstances that may come up, yeah, throughout your career. And I think not waiting for it to happen, but taking aligned action when you know that there is just more to life than your identity as an athlete, and starting to pick up those hobbies or exploring different careers or different parts of yourself that really bring you life and fill you up. And I know for me, it was a year before I was supposed to graduate, going into my senior year. I always loved real estate. I loved million-dollar homes. And I You did love driving through like Bel Air. I remember I'd be like, Where's Pua? Oh, she's driving. She's honestly drive through this, all these mansions. Yeah. She's in Beverly Hills again. Literally, like that was a safe space for me too. Well, like you'd ask me, like, you want to come in my car and go for a ride? And I'm like, sure. I loved going, driving through the neighborhoods because I mean, I loved the houses and I wanted to manifest being in one one day.

SPEAKER_01 58:17

I was gonna say, I think you were secretly manifesting. I was manifesting. Yeah. I'm like, these are my neighborhoods. And every time you posted about you doing real estate, I remember like thinking about you and being like, she's secretly like, I'm in a dream. Manifesting every time she steps foot on those properties because yeah, you're you know that you're capable of achieving that.

SPEAKER_00 58:39

And brain entrainment too. I'm like, when you're in those rooms and those environments, like they do alter your own brainwave state. Yes. And it shows you what's familiar, and that starts to become my new baseline. So I was like, if I want to be in these homes and I need to be in these homes, and you gotta be entering spaces that you may not feel like you belong, but you know you earned. Exactly. And because I I was lucky enough to know that my sport was ending in a year, and at the time too, I was really like contemplating like, do I medically retire? Like, I was over it. Like I was so proud of that. Thank God you did it again. Part two. Yeah. Cause like Miss Natty Champ. And the only reason I didn't truly was because of you guys and the team. Like, I felt like I couldn't leave the team, like it did still feel like unfinished business. I would have felt like an abandoned child and not flying you. No, I would have been like, which where are you going? Like, not an on. What am I gonna do? How am I gonna vault without you? The fuck. Yeah, and that's why I couldn't leave the team, and that was what kept me one more year. And obviously, thank God in hindsight it worked out the way that it did. Yeah. But I knew a year before I was supposed to be done with my career that I needed to figure out my life after sport. And that's when I yeah, like one of my best friends' dad got me into compass real estate. And Denis, Denise Freed, who's my mentor and LA mom, like really took me under her wing and allowed me to do an internship with her the summer before my senior year. And I basically was like lined up after that, knew I wanted to get licensed, and knew that would be my ticket to stay in LA. And Samantha Pesic, who's legend, like ultimately. Love her. Love you, Sammy. I know we love you. She posted on Instagram, and I'll remember this to this day. It's like 10 years later, and she was like, Find your small happiness and make that your career. I was like, Bet, million dollar homes. Like, I'm in there. I just got chills. So I took that advice from her Instagram post. I don't even know if she knows how much it impacted me to this day. And I got into the real estate world once I graduated. So I felt like I had something to look forward to. Yes. After the sport was done.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:36

You had layers to your identity now. It wasn't just one thing. Yes. And for me, like I was the opposite, I did not do that. I was all in. I had I also am one of those people that has a one-track mind. I refuse to do anything half-assed. Yeah. And so I think whole assing it set me up for a very harsh reality after retirement.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:58

But I I stayed in the sport and you got into ditching.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:03

I mean, yeah, that's why I still do it. But um who knows when I'll have my identity crisis. But this is why I started the podcast actually, was to help me soften the blow of not basically getting paid to do gymnastics anymore.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:17

Yeah. And to fulfill the other parts of you too that were screaming to be expressed.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:22

Yes. I'm like, I've been known for sounds weird, but like I've been known for like my body for so long. And like I've relied on my body to kind of carry my career. And I'm like, I'm not using my voice.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:35

And that is such a big part of who I am and my personality. And I feel like there's so many sides to myself that people don't know yet. And I I really think that it's time to just start using it. But I kind of want to share like a really funny little story to explain like how bad the identity crisis was. Was like literally, I just recently decorated my house for the first time. Cause I did not have an identity or a personality outside of my sport enough to have any personal style.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:07

I feel that's so common.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:09

Or like even dressing. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:11

I remember I talk about this with my friends all the time.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:12

I wear leggings and a t-shirt every day. Like I wear sweatsets because I genuinely never developed anything outside of my sport. I only know workout sets and I only know leotards. And it was like, I always dogged myself so hard for that because I'm like, I just suck at dressing. I just I have no personal style. I never because I never developed it.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:31

And I think now, like finding beach volleyball, finding things that I love, connecting with friends, doing art, painting, like going for walks, like developing so many different sides to my personality has helped me so much with developing my personal style. Yeah. And also just knowing what I want in life.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:46

Yeah, and knowing what I'm knowing who you are to know what you want to do.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:50

Yes. Yeah. And I think that's the missing token for a lot of these athletes that are leaving their sport is they're like, I have no idea what I want to do. Well, babe, do you know yourself?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:01

That's where it starts.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:03

Do you have an identity outside your sport? No. That's why you don't know what you want to do. That's why finding a job is so hard. That's why finding a career is so difficult.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:12

Because you can't invest in your passion if you don't know what else you're passionate about. And I think that like another thing, again, like me not being able to have asked anything, this podcast has been literally like my lifeline, but it's also been it's gonna hospitalize me if I don't fucking find some balance because I have a tendency to go all in to the extreme with to the extreme. And I I realized recently that I hadn't done something like this since gymnastics. I haven't had something I'm this passionate about since gymnastics. And I'm like, no wonder why I'm doing so much to set myself up for success here because that's who I am to my core. Yeah, I just haven't had anything that's lit me up the way that gymnastics has until now. And so yeah, recognizing that has helped a lot because I'm like, okay, Grace, now you have the self-awareness. Yes. We need some balance.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:06

Yes. But and I think there's like seasons for everything too. Like there are going to be times in our life when we are pushing harder and we have that energy and momentum, and we're going to want to ride that. You do have to abandon yourself for a second. And then there are times when your self starts to scream at you and you're like, wait, we need to pause. We need to take care of our energy. We need to nourish ourselves and make sure that like our own baseline needs are met so we can show up to those spaces more fully.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:32

And that's where the self-awareness comes back to as well, because then you realize, oh, cystic acne is not normal. Your hormones are screaming at you.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:40

I should not be breaking out in hives.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:42

I should not be losing blood circulation. Yeah. This is your body telling you something's wrong.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:47

You should not be anxious every day that you wake up. Something's wrong. You're not regulated. And like I did not have that self-awareness because I was so 10 toes down, tunnel vision on this podcast. Yeah. That I was like, very mentality. Like a good meal, you know, athlete mentality through and through. And like it really wasn't until I did your sound bath that I felt so grounded and centered again. And I, and I told you that after your soundbath event, I told you I'd never felt more aligned in my life. I literally was like, so Barry's just reached out and wants to do a freaking podcast launch event in collaboration with me, which was literally one of my top goals of this year is to do an in-person event at the beach with all my favorite people, launching something I've literally dreamt about doing for the last five years of my life. What the hell? And like people reaching out and having me come out and asking me to come out to Hawaii. And then I get to interview all these amazing athletes. And I'm like, this alignment is next level. And I literally called you immediately and I was like, I just said thank you.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:49

Like freaking out.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:50

Best $40 I ever spent.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:53

Like, what the hell? You're telling me like what unlocked for you and like the domino effect that happened after that of really just being able to sit with. Yourself and then create space and room for all of this stuff to come in. Like I think it's just a testament to the work too. Yes. Yeah. And I and I think it goes into like back to identity shifting. Because this isn't something that we're taught. It's something that we experience and learn over time. But when I look back on my own experience, I'm able to put together this pattern and this method that I over time have really leaned into and adjusted for it to work and fit not only identity shifts from athletes, but identity shifts from careers to moms to parenting or learning how to be adaptable. Yeah, exactly. And I think it all comes down to this method that I created. And it's called the Tune Method. I have a whole masterclass about this.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:43

Oh my God.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:44

How cool. And basically, like it's each, there's a word for it. I can't think of it right now, but each letter means something. Oh, like an acronym. Exactly. So the T in the tune stands for tuning in. And it's all about tuning in to where you are right now. And I use this method in my sandboxes well, but tuning in to the version of yourself that's present, tuning in to the feelings, to where you are actually instead of the version of yourself you want to be or that you think you are. Or your past self. Yes. Like it's who are you right now and what's happening beneath the surface.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:17

Love that.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:18

And once you're able to tune in and really under uncover what's going on internally, then you can go to the you, which is unblocking. What is blocking you from going where you want to be? Love that. But you first have to be aware of where you are so you know where you want to go. And it can be anything that's stopping you. Like for me in college, it was the imposter syndrome or not feeling where you're not. What narrative have you created? What story, what belief system is instilled in you that is no longer yours or that's outdated. Powerful. Yes. And there I have like different methods too, because it's it's one thing to just talk about unblocking, but it's another thing to actually do that work. And I think there are different practices that can help unblock sound bath is one of them. It helps move that energy and it helps the body process emotion and release things or like somatic shaking. Like I like a dog does, like or my cat. Like I love to shake things. When I feel stuff coming up, like I'll just jump up and down and I'll shake it out of me.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:13

No wonder why gymnastics is like my therapy. Cause you're literally I need to get like that nervous energy out. Yes. Yeah. Yes. I mean in therapy as well, like talking through shit. Like I'm such a talk to think kind of girl. Same. And realizing that, like, if I talk it out, I'm going to get to the bottom of what's going on. Totally. And I'm going to figure out why I'm feeling this way. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:31

But there's another piece of it too that you're like your body does remember and your body holds on to things that maybe your mind hasn't conceptualized yet. Yeah. And that's why like those past versions of ourselves are within us. They are us. And that's why they'll come up when they're activated. And it's all about finding the practices and tools to be able to unblock the things that are stopping us from where we want to go. And then the next part of the tune is the end. So it's like nourish. How can you nourish yourself back to a new baseline? How can you nourish yourself to feel more whole and better now that you have been able to tap in and tune in and unblock what's no longer serving you? Yeah. Can we nourish ourselves back to a new version of ourselves?

SPEAKER_01 1:09:10

Yeah, find that alignment.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:12

Yes. And then the E, which is the last part of the tune method, is embodiment. So how can I embody the version of myself that I know I'm ready to become? What is she wearing? What is she doing? How does she change that new warnings exactly consistently over time? And I think it's a practice that you can lean into and come back to no matter what type of identity shift or process that you're going through, because it's really just connecting back to yourself, releasing what's stopping you from doing what you want to do, making sure you're taking care of yourself in the process. And then making sure that embodiment piece is there to help you align with what you're meant for.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:47

And it gives you action. It gives you the opportunity to look for ways to reaffirm that identity. You can literally think to yourself every day about the person you want to be. And every decision you make throughout that day is like, would future Gracie, this bad bitch that I want to become, would she do this or would she do that? Would she surround herself with these people? Would she surround herself with that person? Would she allow this behavior? Would she, you know, work out? Would she move her body? Would she would she take time for herself? And I think realizing that is just such a clearer image for then this action that you can take. And I love that tune theory that you have because it's every single thing, I don't know if you know this, every single thing that you've said that fits into that acronym is action-based. And it's fully in your control. And I'm such a big proponent of control your controllables. Exactly. I consistently tell people this and I tell myself this on a daily basis because there is no better and more empowering feeling than knowing that you have things in your control that will dictate the future of your life.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:52

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:52

So having that is it's a game changer.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:55

Yeah, it brings the power back to you and hopefully helps you feel hopeful that this circumstance, this timeline, this season is not forever. No. These moments are here to actually build us and to step. Yes. Each thing is a step, and it's about how you're able to move through those steps. And you can do it in a way that causes more suffering, or you can do it in a way that helps you feel empowered. Yeah. And of course, there are different circumstances, and I think like the environments and the support and the accessibility to that support is important in those resources.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:26

But recognizing the context and still taking control. Exactly. And feeling empowered to do so, I think is the biggest thing. Exactly. And I think we're doing that right now. I think we're empowering people to do that, dude.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:36

That's the goal.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:37

Okay, wait, I want to quickly shift because we are killing it. Yes. I am so I just have to say, I'm so proud of you.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:47

Same. So proud of you.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:48

I am so proud of you. You are such a light, and I know I can tell you've done the work.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:54

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:54

To really honor and embody the work that you're pushing onto others and the inspiration that you're bringing to this world. Like it's one thing to say it, but it's another thing to embody it and to actually do the work and to be that. So proud of you.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:11

I love you.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:11

Thank you for seeing me. You're amazing. I see you. And I see you too.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:16

I the feelings are so mutual and so proud of us. Oh, what a life.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:19

Oh, I love you. I love you. Okay. Well, we're gonna shift into my favorite segment, which is Dear Athlete. It's um a fun little segment. For those of you that don't know, Dear Athlete is kind of a spin on the advice column in the newspaper called Dear Abbey.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:32

Oh, I love.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:33

Yes, so fun. Where I have my followers and listeners send in like questions for us so we can offer our advice because we're so wise. We're like little baby Yodas.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:44

I love giving advice.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:46

First one, I thought this was so on brand for us, so I picked it. Okay. How do I get over a breakup?

SPEAKER_00 1:12:56

Oh. She wasn't ready. Oh my god, no, but I love it. Yep. My gosh, how do you get over a breakup? I feel like this is so relatable to anyone who's dating. And I have to first say that there is no right or wrong way to get over a breakup. Like, there are so many different ways to do it. And I think as each breakup that I have gone through, I have learned so much each time. For me, like relationships are a portal. Like they're my deepest healing environments. Like I transform the most in my relationships, and I am such a lover girl. I am like back to back in relationships until I wasn't recently. And like now I'm as single as can be. I love it. And I'm so proud of you for that as well. Thank you. I know. We literally just talked about this. I'm like, no man, love every yeah. I know. No, this is exactly where I'm meant to be right now. It feels so liberating and so freeing, but it took a lot of work to get here. And I think I'll speak from my last breakup specifically. And honestly, like if it wasn't for my own wellness practices, my own holistic healing tools, like I don't think I would have gone through it. And I remember having the thought too that the exact processes that I was experiencing in real time right now by myself were the same methods that I would eventually teach others. Cool. So it was, it was like kind of a unique way to get through a breakup.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:17

But no, but I love that because you know that anytime someone comes to you now with with this question, like you can very confidently offer advice and also have such an empathetic viewpoint on it. And I think that that is what makes people so powerful is utilizing their experiences to help others. And that's exactly what you're doing. I mean, it ties everything that we've talked about back to that. And that's what's so special. Um, I was just gonna say surround yourself with great people. No, my response is a little bit shorter, but um no, breakups are brutal. And I think anyone that's going through a breakup right now, realizing that you, if your body feels better after the breakup, it's your body telling you. Clear sign it's okay. Yeah, it's meant to be. Like I remember when I went through my breakup, it was the most painful thing I'd ever gone through because it was my first time ever being in love and creating this massive narrative and identity around this person. And the moment it was done and he looked me in the face and was like, I don't want to be with you. I remember, weirdly enough, him leaving and I felt this weight lifted off my shoulders.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:34

This responsibility to help him get to a better place, this responsibility I had put on myself to help him reach his potential. I no longer felt that responsibility anymore. I no longer felt this massive weight to be this person that I didn't even identify with anymore. And I think just recognizing like even though we've gotten so deep, it's not that deep. It's just you're no longer compatible, and that's okay. And honestly, like that's such a huge testament to you to outgrow somebody. And like I outgrew him. And I didn't even realize it in the time because I was making myself so tiny to fit into that relationship. Yeah. And the moment we broke up, my mom even came up to me and was like, because she can't obviously she drove up the second I called her. She's Lorraine is the freaking go. And she was like, I'm here for you, babe. And she goes, Your energy is different. The moment she saw me, she was like, something's different. Your light is back. You you look different. You can you look like you can be unapologetically yourself again for the first time in a really long time. And I think forcing myself to fit into this mold that I thought I needed to be for this relationship was debilitating and it it crushed my growth.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:48

Soul sucking.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:49

Yes. And so now having this ability to be in our single girl era, I think this is where women flourish.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:55

Yeah. I mean, it's so fun. Yeah. Thank God we're single at the same time.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:58

Thank God you're like my only single vestie.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:02

But like life is so liberating and freeing.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:05

It really is. Um okay, I'm gonna ask one more question. Okay. What is an advice that you would give to someone who's struggling with comparing themselves to other people?

SPEAKER_00 1:17:19

And I feel like this is so relatable because I think a lot of people naturally do this. And it's so hard not to with social media. Like you're literally it's shoved in your face every day. I know. And I would say that one thing that really helped me is the perspective shift of anytime I like felt like jealous or envious towards someone or something, I started to realize that there was a part of me who wanted that. And once I started to really own what I wanted and what I thought I was capable of, that started shifting. Yeah. And I think also the perspective too, that like there are things that happen behind closed doors or outside of social media that we do not know about sees, yeah. And like again, we live in a world full of duality and like as bright of their light, like I'm sure as dark as the shadow, that's something that I have gone through myself. And I think that when you understand that not everything is a highlight reel, yeah, that you start to really help, yeah, find more gratitude for what's going on with yourself and where you're at. And I think using it more as like an indication of that's something that you want, instead of like being a hater, like I think there's room for everyone.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:38

There really is room for everyone. And I think understanding too that like again, we're in control. We are responsible for our fate. If we want something, go get it.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:48

Yes, yes, like take the steps every day to make it happen.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:52

You are in control. So if someone has something that you want, use it as inspiration, use it as fuel, use it as fire to light you up inside and say, well, she can get it. I can get it. So can you?

SPEAKER_00 1:19:06

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:06

What are you doing? Like, and I think that that's such an inspiring shift as a woman because it is really toxic that in society we're kind of forced to compare ourselves to other women and forced to feel like we're not enough.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:20

Like we dodged constantly. Don't even get me starving. We were ranked, like we were put up against each other.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:26

We're in freaking leotards. Yeah. Like, hello, everything's out there. You're looking at everyone else's booty, you're looking at everyone's body, and you're like, why don't I look like that? Why isn't my gymnastics as good as hers? Yeah. Why is she getting a 10 and I'm not? Or like whatever it is. And it's just like, I think at the end of the day, you realize you're in your own lane. The timing is gonna be your timing. And also, I wouldn't want my journey to be like anyone else's. It's my journey.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:52

And I think realizing that is like well empowering. So empowering. Like point blank period, comparisons done. And I think, yes, it's easy to say that. And then you, you know, we we have tendencies to slip into that comparison. But I think the biggest thing is understanding your controllables and taking control of that. And the biggest thing for me that really helps is staying off social media, not scrolling too much, having boundaries, following people that maybe make me feel insecure for whatever reason, and also just surrounding yourself with people who aren't competitive with you.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:24

Because you know at the end of the day, like they're supporting you and that's genuine. Yes. And then you support them in return. And I think just like having that is such a recipe for success.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:33

Yeah. Boundaries are key with all of this and knowing your limit when it comes to social media and the type of people you're surrounding yourself with. Like that energy does matter so much. So well said. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:48

This was such a blessing, and I can't believe we're literally living the dreams that we had when we were back in college at the end of that vault runway, praying that we land on our fucking feet.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:00

Oh my god, so full circle, but also so blessed too to be able to go through this journey with someone like you and to know what's possible if you continue following your dreams and overcoming the things that feel like challenges, but I really just meant to build character.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:13

Appreciate you. I love you. I love you, and I can't wait to see all the amazing things you do. Ah, same for you. Be sure to follow just to begin. Follow Pua's journey. She's doing amazing things. She's gonna be working with some pretty awesome companies, some pretty awesome people, and hopefully, maybe we can do like a little retreat or something. Oh my god, I don't know. We talked about this. We're like, this could be super fun for us, anyways. I love you guys so much, and I'll see you next Wednesday. Bye.