Athletes After Hours with Gracie Kramer

Gracie & Alysha Newman on Pole Vaulting, Getting Banned, & Dating as an Athlete

• Gracie Kramer • Season 1 • Episode 17

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Olympic bronze medalist, Canadian record holder, and three time Olympian Alysha Newman joins me for one of the most honest conversations we've had on Athletes After Hours. We talk about the incredible high of finally standing on an Olympic podium after years of setbacks, heartbreak, and self-doubt, as well as the mental blocks that once left her questioning whether she'd ever reach her full potential. Alysha opens up about working with an EMDR specialist to heal from past trauma, rebuild her confidence, and unlock a version of herself she didn't know was possible.

She also shares the story behind the two year ban that changed the trajectory of her career, the emotional toll it took on her identity, and how she found the strength to keep showing up when walking away would've been easier. At its core, this is a conversation about resilience, reinvention, and what happens when you're forced to bet on yourself. Now, with her eyes set on LA28, Alysha is chasing the biggest comeback of her career, and proving that sometimes the greatest victories come long after you've been counted out.

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SPEAKER_03

Wow.

SPEAKER_00

And I worked with him every single week for almost three years straight. And we did, I think, over 62 EDMR sessions.

SPEAKER_03

Damn.

SPEAKER_00

And he he was at the Olympics with his wife and kids, and he he's the reason I got my medal.

SPEAKER_02

Today's guest is one of the most accomplished pole vaulters in the world. She's a three-time Olympian, Olympic bronze medalist, Commonwealth Games champion, and Canadian record holder. Having cleared an astonishing 15 feet and 11 inches, higher than most one-story buildings, at the Paris Olympics, she made history by becoming the first Canadian woman to ever win an Olympic medal in pole vaulting. But what makes her story so much more compelling isn't just the medals, it's overcoming the injuries, the setbacks, the self-doubt, and having years of perseverance to get to where she is. Today we're talking about resilience, confidence, fear, pressure, and what it really takes to pursue excellence in one of the most demanding and intimidating sports on the planet. Alicia Newman, welcome to Athletes After Hours.

SPEAKER_00

So hyped to be here.

SPEAKER_02

Hey girl. Hey girl.

SPEAKER_00

How are you?

SPEAKER_02

We were literally just yapping for so long before this. I'm like, sorry, Wes, we should probably, you know, get started. But we did bloopers. I know, I was like, we have so much to talk about. I'm like, we might as well just start recording. Yeah. How are you doing?

SPEAKER_00

Girl, I'm, you know, it's like one of those things. I'm just like good until I'm not. Yes. Do you know what I mean? Like I feel like being an athlete's prepped you to be in a roller coaster of emotions your entire life. So there's like days that I'm like, up, no one can tell me anything. And then there's just days like, what am I doing with my life?

SPEAKER_02

The crashes are heavy, huh?

SPEAKER_00

And they're they're hard because it's almost like you feel like you dig yourself deeper and deeper and deeper until you just like get that one sense of like boost of adrenaline, or you feel successful, or like you really like switch your mindset. Yeah. And I remember whether it was an injury, whether it was my band, whether anything that I've ever done in my life, it was like going back to basics, allowed me to feel like I was winning. So getting up and making my bed when I was at my lowest started to like simplifying life. Correct. It like just repatterned my my path, my neuropathways in my head. Wow. So it was allowing me to like nothing's ever gonna be perfect. Nothing's ever, you're never gonna be your best of all time every single day. So if I learned how to get out of the lows, yeah, then I knew I was gonna be very successful. And that's kind of what I've done with my life.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, so much wisdom ran out of the gate. Okay. Little baby Yoda over here. At least I'm like strapped. I'm like, wait, I'm so sad. I am so sad for this. I am obsessed with you. We met so recently, which is so weird. I know.

SPEAKER_00

I feel like you're like a big sister to me. That's what I said. I was like at your birthday, I was like, I've known you for three weeks, girl, but I feel like you're my little sis or someone that I can like confine into. I love what you're doing. I was like, be so kind to yourself because I'm like so motivated by you. I can't wait to like log on to Instagram and see what she's doing next.

SPEAKER_02

Oh no, literally, she made me cry on my actual birthday. I'm like, girl, you like struck such a nerve with me. I feel like there's something so sacred in girlhood. Yes. And finding girls who genuinely are rooting for you and in your corner and just cheering you on along the way. And like, do you feel like you've had that along your like Olympic journey?

SPEAKER_00

No, not really. Like, I think people underestimate track and feel you're very isolated.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, you're not like a part of a team. In in university, when I was at University of Miami, I felt like I had a team, but most were male because a lot of the pole vaulters were walk-on men.

SPEAKER_03

Really?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. So I had when I was finishing my last year, we had two girls come on, but I think the age difference, it didn't really connect as much.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And then when you turn pro, most of your best friends are your competitors, like Sandy Morris and Nina Kennedy. Like they were the best of the best in the world, but they live so far away.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I never competed with them. And then the Team Canada girls, they're incredible humans, and I think they're amazing in their own way, but they never really wanted me to be great deep down because it took their light away. And I completely understand that because we're fighting for that spot.

SPEAKER_02

So you guys are competing against each other at the end of the day. Like, you how much can you really root for your competitor?

SPEAKER_00

Correct. But I have always been one that I've never bothered me if you beat me. Yeah, and I really through and through. It's it's bad. I think, like, honestly, I'm like, I'm okay losing sometimes. Yeah. When I like to see the bar being raised higher for my sport, yeah. I wasn't like that Kobe Bryant like mindset of being like, oh, that person looked at me weird. Now I want to like beat them. Yeah. I'd be like, oh, she looks great today. I'd be like, girl, go. Your coach is like, focus up, babe. You're staring at her ass. I was like, honestly, she got me today. Like, do you know what I mean? Yeah. I was just so real with myself and what what where I was at, if I wasn't the best at that time. Like, I never really felt like everyone is so great, especially the top 10 women in pole vault in the world, that it can be anyone's day. And I've beaten all of them at least once. Yeah. So it's like whoever comes together that day and jumps high, you're just like excited for them. And if it's me, you hope that they're the same, but there's not a lot people like that. Yeah. That's where I kind of recognize that I was a little bit unique in that way. And maybe I should be more intense.

SPEAKER_02

No, keep doing you because it's clearly working. I mean, shit. You're going for your fourth Olympics. I know. You're, you know, a Canadian record holder. You're that bitch. You're can't you're Canada's sweetheart.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I think people are like like they they're always like sweetheart, but they never know what's like gonna happen. You know? So I'm like Canadians, um ticking time bomb. Ticking time bomb, what's gonna happen? But I'm she's a little pocket rocket. Correct. I like keep people on their toes, but I think I've also broken so many barriers down for so many female athletes. And I've been that one that, you know, you could like take my name and drag drag it through the mud. I've had such thick skin and I have no idea how I developed that, but I just was like such a curious kid. It wasn't like I was trying to be a rebel when I was younger, but if someone said, like, hey, don't hit this button, I would hit it anyway, but not because they said no, because I was like, what happens?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, why would you tell me not to hit it? I gotta find out now.

SPEAKER_00

Like, tell me what, tell me, or I'm gonna hit it. And if you didn't tell me, I was gonna hit it. So I did that through my whole life as well. It was like, well, if I try to uh post this on social media, people are like, Well, athletes don't post that. And I'll be like, Well, what's gonna happen? Do you know? Like, I was just so curious, and I was constantly like if you can't push yourself outside that box, then your goals are only as limited as your experiences, right? Yeah, and I felt like I learned that very, very young, and I was like, I need to have the most experiences, the most failures, and the most everything possible so I can actually make goals that relate to me that I feel passionable about. Yeah, right. So that's was one thing I learned, and it was like I took that to my soul. So anytime I'm posting, anytime I'm doing events, anytime a lot of times it's like Alicia looks like she knows what she's doing, but I'm really kind of seeing what sticks, yeah, you know, and where I feel like I'm elevated in certain situations. And that's why when I moved to LA, I was like, I don't know what I'm gonna be like here. And after meeting you, and then Penny's here, and I have a couple track friends here. I've never felt so connected to myself and what I'm passionate about since I've met you. Oh. And I think it was just people elevating people, and now I want to see you do great, and you want to see me do great. And I think that that has been so important for me is being in the right environment at the right time to excel.

SPEAKER_02

I think what also is such a huge testament to you is like everyone always wants to know, you know, how where do you get your confidence from and how do you hold yourself to such a high standard and carry yourself a certain way? And I feel like your life hack is literally just being curious. Correct. Because then you're never judgmental of yourself. You're always just learning, you're always seeing what's next and one's with what's on the other side. Correct. And that's a really interesting take. And I've never really thought of approaching life like that, where you're like, I'm just gonna show up to this event and just see what happens. And like you never know who you're gonna meet, you never know what connections you're gonna make. And like, I think you being so open-minded to such a brutal change in your life.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my gosh, it was terrifying.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I was in a relationship and I was supposed to go to Arizona for a couple weeks and it ended, and it was like, all right, Ozzy, where do you want to go, my dog? I was like, LA it is, baby. Let's go, get on the flight, let's go. And I haven't left, I've been here since March. Like it's just wild how I could have sat there and I could have sat in my sorrows because I, you know, I was really in love with that guy, and I was like, gosh, what what what should I do? You know, like what should I do with my life? What has always been my dream? What do I, now that that's not a part of my life anymore, where do I go? And I was like, where can I get track? Where can I work out every day? Where can I get health and wellness? And where can I act and model? Yeah. Like LA was my place. Yeah. And a lot of content creators are here too, which has been nice. But also, like athlete content creators are more out here than any. And then I met you within like the first couple weeks, and I was like, oh my gosh. I probably moved here to meet you.

SPEAKER_02

The universe was like, so they have to become friends. Yeah, it's like you have to go through the worst breakup of your life, but don't worry, you'll find a soul sister. Correct.

SPEAKER_00

Exactly. It was like my love, my heartbreak turned into being mended by you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So I do truly believe like God timed that perfectly for you because I think a lot of times we as women, but also as athletes, I think we always try to find a way to make things work, even if they shouldn't. Correct. And I can completely relate to that. Like I probably knew deep down the relationship wasn't working when I was in one. And I I love a challenge. Yeah. And unfortunately, sometimes things just should not be challenged. They should just be left alone.

SPEAKER_00

Let it be.

SPEAKER_02

And let it be and we'll move on, right?

SPEAKER_00

Well, I think being an athlete, especially to the caliber you competed, it's like we don't know how to give up.

SPEAKER_02

Never.

SPEAKER_00

And whether that's on a loved one, whether that's on like a major goal of mine is to be a wife and a mother and to provide and to nurture, you know. And so it's like, well, I have to invest into something to get that result. Yeah. And if it's not great, it's like me getting an injury. You don't give up if you hurt your ankle. You keep pushing through. And I think some of them like couples therapy, babe. I was like, it's gonna be all right. He needs some space, he'll text me, you know? Yeah. And um, you rat you recognize that you're like, I'm not giving up on it, but you're gonna just like nurture it and and and watch it from a distance and hope that everything works out. And then at one point, you're just gonna be like, did it really serve me?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And that was the same thing with track and field. It's like it, I always come back to it. It's whether I make zero dollars or I make a hundred million dollars doing it, it has always given me this sense of fuel and life and purpose. And it all stems from me being historical. I don't want 800 Olympic medals, like I don't need that. Yeah, but to know that I'm the best of all time at an event that I'm so passionate about, that's what drives me every day. So when I return to track, it's gonna be how can I break the world record? Yeah, you know, how can I be the best of the best? And it's like when I go down there, I love when I'm like the best technical. And I love when people say, I love watching your technique. How do you get upside down? Yeah, that drives me, not standing by yourself on an Olympic podium and be like, hey, I got this medal. Yeah. You know, as much as that is very historical for your country, it's just this sense of the journey, the hard work, the failure, and then doing something to the best of your ability and knowing that you are the ceiling to that event. Yeah, is what drives me.

SPEAKER_02

It's so cool. And like you being able to perfect your craft.

SPEAKER_00

Correct.

SPEAKER_02

I can tell you're so passionate about your craft. Like you see your sport as like this clay that you can mold and you can, you know, form. And I think it's so fascinating the way that you approach your sport, especially because you have such a healthy approach, yeah. As intense as you are, like I know all of the grit and the grind that goes in behind the scenes, like you getting PT and your nutrition and really being dialed on like your literal DNA. Like I remember you talking to me about like you get blood work all the time and like all the things. And so, like, how did you but then you still like know how to have fun? Like, we go to events together and we have the best time. Like we're gonna go to a concert together, and like we, you know, we want to go travel. And like how do you find a way to have that balance? Because as an athlete, I never had that.

SPEAKER_00

I think for me, because it's so mentally tough, pole vault. Um, this is what I say. I say, like, people could be on steroids, people could be doing all this, but you still gotta plant a pull. And the hardest part about pole vault is feeling uncomfortable. Like every time down, I'm running down the runway, it's a different jump. And I'm sure Jim was very much like that. Like every routine, every bar routine, like you you could try to perfect it, but it feels different every time.

SPEAKER_02

100%.

SPEAKER_00

And I think that's what keeps us coming back, right? So when I would leave the track, this sense of not being perfect happened. I could go to this event, and I wasn't like an A-lister, right? So I can just be myself, I can be out there, I can have a drink here, I can do this, and it actually grounded me a lot. It was it was allowing me to be this perfect pole vaulter by day and this free, caring, confident, beautiful young lady by night. You know what I mean? I love that. It was like two worlds best-like Hannah Montana. Yeah, exactly. Like you have this like work hard, play hard. Yeah. And my dad, I will never forget. It's like anytime I would go out, and my mom too. If I would go out late with my friends in high school, my dad would get me up in the morning, like and go for a run. And he was just like trying to like train myself that if you want to play, then you have to work hard too. Yeah. And so that's why I work out every single day. And like, if I want to have an a weekend away and go to France for two weeks and have drinks on the beach, then I know the moment I get back, like I'm up in the morning, I'm back into my routine. Yeah. But I allow myself to do that because then it drives me. Like I get more fuel to come back to it. Because there's nothing like a routine. Yes. Right. And feeling that your best self is not drinking and is not like going out every night. That's when I feel my best.

SPEAKER_02

So the routine gets monotonous Whoa. The routine. Like seeing that the routine gets monotonous. Monotonous? Monop monoponous. Monopono Monotonous. Monoponous. I just had a stroke. Monoponous. Okay, well, the routine gets really really monotonous. It gets really like over or boring. The routine can become boring. So I think what you do that's really cool is like you recognize that in order to not burn out and to have longevity in your sport, you have to have balance, or then you're gonna really regret and like maybe resent your sport because it's taking you away from life.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I mean, I honestly think that's what the band was for me. Really? The universe does really weird things, like it's crazy to me.

SPEAKER_02

Were you feeling like you were on the kind of brink of burnout before?

SPEAKER_00

So I right after Paris, I felt burnt like out completely.

SPEAKER_02

As you should.

SPEAKER_00

And I was like, you know, I said this to my mom, and I'll never forget it. We were drinking, we're at a bar that closed down in Paris, and I said, Mom, I'm gonna jump 2025 and because I want to like bank off of the Olympic medal.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And then 2026, I'm gonna take the year off. And she was like, Are you see why? And I was like, Well, I just feel like I'm gonna need to step back from it. So you were gonna take off LA? No, 2026. Oh, it's 2026 right now. Yeah, yeah. No, you're okay. So I was taking girl math. Yeah, I wanted to like bank 2025, take off 2026, come back 2027, and compete 2028 at my last Olympics. And she was okay, that's a weird way of doing it, like you know, separating, but I just didn't want to be too far away from the sport. But 2025, I was having a hard time wanting to be there. Yeah, like I mentally, and then my body was also being affected by it. Like I would have like weird aches and pains. So, like, we weren't vaulting as much. I didn't feel like I was ready to compete at a high level. So I tried competing up to like May in 2025, and my coach looked at me and he was like, What are you striving for this year? And I was like, I'm trying to bank off of this. He goes, But really, do you need to? And I was like, No. He goes, Okay, you're gonna take the rest of 2025 off and you're gonna come back 2026 and you're gonna compete 2026, 2027, 2028. And that sense of relief just was like, oh, great. Like I get goosebumps from that. I was like, oh, thank gosh he made that decision because as athletes, you don't want to give up. Yeah, and if I needed someone that I respected to tell me, Alicia, you're taking off 2025. Yes.

unknown

So fast.

SPEAKER_00

We're very coachable.

SPEAKER_02

It's like just tell me what I need to do, and then I can feel like I can actually do it without feeling guilty. Yes. You almost feel like it's not being lazy.

SPEAKER_00

Correct.

SPEAKER_02

This is strategic.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, this is what I'm doing. Yeah, so it's all part of the plan. Yeah. So fast forward to today, I get banned.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, we need to talk about this.

SPEAKER_00

And but like this is mine. And at the first, I was like, like, I was so I have videos of me crying. I have this like calling my mom. I flipped the table in my my Airbnb that I was in, and I was like, how is this happening to me? Because what happened is we were trying to, we brought brought them to court and we tried to win the one uh missed test, yeah, and we lost. And I was like, this makes no sense. Fast forward, now it's like I had told myself two years ago that I wanted to take off 2026, and the universe now is like, girl, you said it. We're getting careful what you wish for, yeah. Correct. And it's not that like I'm like, oh, the universe said it, but I'm excited to be banned. It's not that. No, but you're trying to look at the silver lining. I have to because if I sit here and say, like, I'm that perfect human and I'm gonna be on my A game all through till 2028, I was on my A game till 2025, and then I finally was like, okay, everyone said I could relax, and then that's when I relax too much. And I just wasn't at the I was I always say this to people, I wasn't at the right place at the right time, yeah, you know, for that situation. And so I think the band has opened my eyes, but I've never felt so angry and fueled in my life. And now I'm scared to go back because the girls are gonna be like, what happened to this girl? Like I've never been like, I don't care who's in my way. You're coming back with a vengeance, exactly, and not against them, no, but against what happened because it was you've got tunnel vision now, 100%.

SPEAKER_02

You're gonna be like F you to everybody, correct? I'm gonna make history again. So maybe this is the best thing that ever happened to you.

SPEAKER_00

I have a feeling.

SPEAKER_02

I have a feeling you're gonna look back in like 10 years and be like, thank God. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And that's that's like a major thing. Like, again, like my ex, he brought like faith back into my life, and there was just so many monumental things that have happened through 2026 that I'm like, yeah, girl, you need to sit down. Yeah, you're you're you're you're trying to hide right now. And you just need to like take a deep breath and recognize you're doing too much. And that band really like switched like a switch in my head.

SPEAKER_02

For those listening that don't know what happened, yeah. Can you explain why you're suspended?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, so pretty much when you're a part of the Olympics, and I'm assuming every port protocol athlete when like when you compete, you have to submit as a Canadian, you have to submit on a portal every single day an address you're gonna be for an hour. 365 days a year, and I started getting tested at 16 years old and I'm 31. So let's just say 15 years.

SPEAKER_02

And update your location every day, every day, every day.

SPEAKER_00

And they they allow they do it three months at a time.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

But I mean That's absurd. Girl, my my my address changes every day.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god. I also like I'll text you one day and you're like, sorry, I'm in France. Yeah. You're everywhere all the time. Like you're always doing you're like the side quest queen. So a bitch is could be across the world in 24 hours. Correct.

SPEAKER_00

And it's scary and tire down. You literally can't because it's just I feel fine when you get an opportunity and you're like, I'm just gonna go.

SPEAKER_02

Like in this industry, it's always last minute. We were just talking about an event, and I was like, they literally told me that this event is tomorrow and I have to be done in Orange County. It's like this always happens.

SPEAKER_00

And you're like, I want to put my foot down, but you're like, this event looks sick.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, but you're like, fuck, this would be really, really cool to do. And so you say yes. Yes. So then when you said yes to these things and you forgot to update your location, yeah, they tried to drug test you and you weren't there.

SPEAKER_00

So pretty much, yeah. My first one was my fault. I ended up getting too drunk with my friends, and I stayed at my friend's house like a responsible person. I didn't drive home or Uber, I should have Ubered home, but it was far. My house is outside the city. And um, I woke up and they were there. And so at those funds, you're like, you know what? Yeah, that was my fault. And that was my first one. Um But god god forbid a girl lives. Correct. Like, God forbid a girl lets loose for a second. Yeah, and this was this was definitely like a time where I was like, so leaving into the Olympics, you isolate yourself a lot. Like you just are trying to conserve as much energy as possible. And I only had the people that didn't take like didn't take energy from me and and kept my battery like filled.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, your circle was really small.

SPEAKER_00

Correct. There was like six people like that was it that I would talk to every day or or in a week or interact with interact with. And so now I'm like kind of trying to get out of that because that was me for almost a year, which is so hard to believe.

SPEAKER_02

Because you're so social.

SPEAKER_00

Correct. I'm like an I laugh. I tell people I'm like an extrovert after 10 a.m. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Like 2 a.m.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. And then two kids, I'm like, Irish goodbye. Like, where did Alicia go? Well, she laughed. Yeah. Um, and then so I think it was hard for me because I really started to get my friendships back. Because I I lost a lot of friends. I missed weddings. I missed baby showers. Like, there was just things I I remember my sister getting engaged, and I was like the first thing I was like, Oh my god, I'm so excited for her. I was like, when's she put in the wedding? You know, like that's the first thing you think of. And you have to sacrifice so much. And my sister, my family's the best. They've sacrificed so much for me. So she did it the year after the Olympics, and she was like, This is gonna be, you know, my summer. I was like, Well, obviously, I was like, that's for you. Yeah. Um, and I was so happy I was able to be a part of it. But she looked up my track schedule even for 2025, and she was like, Okay, you're off this week. Like, that's how like serious people understand it, right? So letting loose is one thing, you know, and and you need to get that back because you're really not a normal human leading into the Olympics because you're also trying to like convince yourself you're like a superhero, yeah. Right? So, like delusional confidence is key, right? And when you're around people that don't feel that way, you're like like yeah, you're like stop.

SPEAKER_02

You have to isolate, yeah. Correct, you have to be in your own little la la land for a little bit.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, so I started going to the Lulu Island. Yes, Dululu, and I love the Lulu Island. Yeah, like you're like, wait, what? So it was been, it was good. Like I started dating, you know. I I had been in a serious relationship through the Olympics and it didn't work out so well. Um, but he was an incredible human, was there through the whole thing, so consistent, exactly what I needed as a man. Yes. Um, he showed up for me for everything, and now my bar was like so much higher for who I wanted to marry.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, and then started dating, and I had so much fun like just talking to people, athletes, non-athletes, and and it just like opportunities kept coming because I wasn't competing. And so the next one was on um, I was on a TV show and it was Family Feud. Yes, oh my god. We were so excited. My my whole family were prepping all week for it. And long story short, I opened the door, it's 8 30, and the drug testing people are there, and I was like, shit, like I have to be on set by nine. And they're like, Oh, I was like, come in, I'm gonna try and give a partial. If not, you can come with me. And there are rules that they're allowed to travel. I think it's 20 kilometers, okay, which the studio is five kilometers from my place. Okay. So I was like, come with me. They're like, Alicia, we don't like the CBC Center, so we're gonna like try we're gonna change it to 9:30 at night, and we're gonna get approval. I said, I'm not leaving here until I get approval. Yeah, long story short, we got approval from the C C E S that I could leave, go to family feud and come back and provide a sample. Same day, same everything. I was just on set all day. Come back, do my test, got approval. Two weeks later, I get an X. And everyone's like, What? So this is the one we took to court, yeah. Naturally. Because now there's a rule that if you don't even update the portal once things change, they couldn't update it for you? No, you have to do it yourself. So I got an X with approval leaving, still provided a sample, but I didn't update it in the portal saying I was switching my drug testing till 9 30 p.m. at night. And that was the first time in my life that I was like, okay, I gotta like take this serious because I'm at two now. Yeah. And now I'm And third one you're out. And they the the head of CCES told me that I could come back and I trusted them and I was vulnerable. And I I was like, you know what? I provided my sample, let alone in between the one that I met the first one and the second one, I was tested three or four times. Yeah. So I didn't miss those. Yeah. And then between my second and third, I was tested another two or three times. Yeah. So it wasn't like I was running away from anything. Yeah, I'm not failing. Yeah. So nothing's failing, nothing's coming up negative. Well, then my last one, I rushed overnight. My meme had AFib. I was in the ho in the hospital with her. We ended up getting there at like 3 or 4 a.m. at the hospital, and they came that morning at 8 a.m. And I was two hours away. Yeah, I was two hours away. If if you can make it back in the hour, so that is they give you a window of an hour, then you could have saved it. But I was in my hometown and two hours away. And so why I didn't freak out was because we were in court trying to get the second one, like I guess you could say, like taken away. Yeah. And when it came back, that I that they said no, that's that was on you, you should have updated it, or your assistant should have updated it, or your team should have updated it, and you knew the call times were different for family feud and all this stuff. Oh, I'm livid for you. Yeah, I think at that point I just recognized that you can only depend on yourself in those things. And it was one of those things is like I really did feel for the first time I didn't even let myself down. I felt like I let Canada down. Yeah. And that's where I was sad because I was like, I was already considered the like, you know, woman outside the box in Canada, you know, I'm not a little rebellious. Yeah, like I'm out I'm out there being curious all the time. And so people like love that I was pushing things, and they're like, of course, Alicia fails a drug test, you know, or not fails a drug test, but gets suspended for 20 months.

SPEAKER_02

And so but when they hear that you got suspended, yeah, the first thought is, oh, she's doing drugs. And it's like that sucks so much that your reputation was questioned, correct, and your character was questioned from something that was so silly and trivial. Yeah. That had nothing to do, like you were being a good athlete and you were putting the right things in your body and you weren't being sketchy.

SPEAKER_00

Never, never. I like don't even take Tylenol.

SPEAKER_02

Dude, that actually like pisses me off for you so much. Yeah, I was like, no wonder why you're gonna be a little Tasmanian devil out there.

SPEAKER_00

That's what I was saying. I was like at this point. I'd be fuming. It was like, I'm just like so sad because I was like, you were literally taking one of the best athletes off the mat for 20 months because you told her she could leave to get retested.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

This is why the system's broken. It's not broken because they don't catch people, it's broken because there's no like there's no room for error of be human, you know, and like that's what like pissed me off. I was just like, I was there. I opened the door. I said hi to the DOC. I said, come in. I said, come with me, and they said no. So like they put me in a place that are tying my hands where Family Feud says, if you're late, you won't be able to be on the show. Well, we prepped for six months.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So now you're just kind of like no one can see like what it's like to be human. And I guess maybe be put being an athlete and being an Olympian, you're set to these high standards. Yeah. And that's the first time that I was like, okay, I guess I just have to walk with a little bit more perfection perfectionism in my life.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. So but what's so frustrating is that you got punished for having shit outside of your sport.

SPEAKER_03

Correct.

SPEAKER_02

And like, why are we punishing that? That should be celebrated, that should be encouraged.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Because if you can do other things to amplify your brand, yeah, it only helps your sport.

SPEAKER_00

110%.

SPEAKER_02

Like now they're understanding the value in social media. Now they're understanding the value in doing commercials and being on billboards and doing family feud and shit like that. Like, you're only trying to amplify your brand. Correct. To then help your career and help Canada. Yeah. So it's really frustrating that like that blew up in your face. Oh, I know. And you got punished for that.

SPEAKER_00

Well, it's a worse feel feeling because I'm building that 55,000 square foot indoor track right now, too. And we had to submit like an exemption for me to even be a part of my own legacy project. What? Because I'm not allowed to coach, I can't train with any Olympians, I can't step on a track that has organized Olympic practices. So that's why moving to LA and training at some public tracks has been the best thing for me. Yeah. And now they're questioning if I can even be a part of my own project.

SPEAKER_02

Get the hell out of here.

SPEAKER_00

It's fundraising, it's social media, it's me promoting it. Yeah. And it's me giving a private first ever $10 million track and field program to Canada. And they are really trying to stop me from being a part of it. And so we're trying right now, we're in the middle of it. So I mean, TBD to what that is. But the best thing for me is to be here. So they know I'm not working on it there, right? Like I'm only whatever I can do is right now have that on still stand. And I have my co um, I guess my co my co-person helping me, which is my coach. So he's been running everything all full, yeah, all full force for me.

SPEAKER_02

How are you feeling about that?

SPEAKER_00

That's that has really pissed me off.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Because I'm only trying to help the sport, I'm also trying to give Canada what they deserve. We don't have a private track, an indoor track. Like the closest tracks between each other are like two, three hours from each other.

SPEAKER_01

That's insane.

SPEAKER_00

And so think about like hundreds of thousands of athletes trying to train in one track that's at a university. So there's university times and there's public times, yeah, which is at York University, and then at UFT. And the next place is like Guelph University, which is an hour and a half away. And so you can't.

SPEAKER_02

The resources are just so slim.

SPEAKER_00

It's so slim. And like Canada's over here paying us athletes $21,000 a year. What? Yeah, with no with no facilities. So you're a asking me why it took me three Olympics to medal. And you asked me why I left and went to University of Miami.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

It's because I was trying to develop a career that I know I was going to be one of the best in the world at doing.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But I couldn't do it at home. And I wanted to build a home that someone says, I don't want to leave Canada. Where do I go? Yeah. You're going to go to this high performance center that I built I build. And there's going to be full-time pay coaches. My coaches all volunteered. They don't get paid anything.

SPEAKER_02

That is so crazy to me, too.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

All your coaches are and in Canada, right? Across the board, all coaches are volunteers. Yeah, unless you're paid by the university.

SPEAKER_00

But the university, they still have to be a professor in Canada. So imagine your gymnastics coach at UCLA had to do, teach a class and then come train you guys. Oh my God. So that's what they are at schools now in university in Canada. That's insane. So this one will be full-time paid only, like track and field. Only track and field. Yeah. Yeah. And then we're eventually we hope we'll bring it, you know, we'll bring it to like dry land for hockey players. And we're gonna build it obviously phase four, five, or six.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But right now, my focus is solely on track and field athletes and getting coaches paid because Canada has so many amazing athletes. And I just don't know why they haven't banked in on that and given us Invested in it. Correct. And given us facilities that we deserve, especially it's cold six months of the year.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And our runners are running outside and we're wondering why we're injured every year.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Like it's common sense. Like everything matches. And so TBD on my facility, but it's gonna happen starting June. I already know.

SPEAKER_02

You're feisty, so you're gonna find a way to find a way.

SPEAKER_00

Well, my goal is to retire in my own facility. Oh right. And so um I can start like training June 3rd, 2027. So whether I go home and start training my own facility then, but definitely 2028, it'll be built by then, and I'm gonna train in it. And that's gonna be kind of my legacy of what I leave behind so I can like close the chapter of that story for that.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah. That's so beautiful. And I love I love that about you that you you think outside of yourself, you think beyond your generation because you know that there are so many incredible athletes that look up to you and that are even doing pole vault because of you.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, which is super cool.

SPEAKER_02

And you're like rewarding okay, if I'm gonna inspire you, I might as well provide a you know a facility for you to actually become great in. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Well, and that's why I wanted to jump as high as I could. Because the higher I can jump, the higher everyone else will jump. And so I know I'm that person to walk through life and to imprint that for Canadians. Yeah. And so I want the bar to be as high as possible so that the girls look at me and like, I'm gonna break Alicia Newman's record. Yeah. And I hope I'm there that day that I'm like, yeah, girl, you did it. Yeah, you know, like I'm that girl. Like I'm like, yes, go break those records. You know, that's what they're meant for.

SPEAKER_02

So but that's what again is like such a great testament to your character because you are the type of person that's like, I hope you break my record. Yeah, I do. Like I'm not prying on anyone's downfall baby, like we're out here all elevating because if we if I win, we all win. Correct. Like, especially in female sports, it's we're already set back, we're already put at a disadvantage. And so to be a light and be an inspiration for people to push themselves harder than they've ever been pushed. And like, I think too, with your sport, because it's such a fascinating approach, like y'all don't even know how high you're gonna jump until that day.

SPEAKER_00

Correct.

SPEAKER_02

Which is so crazy to me. Can we talk about that?

SPEAKER_00

I know, girl. Like half of the time, how does that even work? I don't even train on the poles I compete on. Like peoplers, like people have no idea on that. Like I I travel with 12 poles in my bag, and I probably in practice jump on four to six, let's just say, on like a good practice day.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But the the last six poles are just so stiff and they're so hard to jump on that you need like this like psycho adrenaline.

SPEAKER_02

The screw needs to be a little loose that day.

SPEAKER_00

What's that new song that's like the and then he goes, ah, what's that song that um apex? Oh, you know, you're like dancing, and it's like you gotta finish before the yes run away before the song ends and like screaming like a bird. Literally, that's the psycho that you have to be on when when I am in doing my EDMR with Dr. Eamon up in Newport. He literally we trained to see myself on pole 11 and 12s, and poll 11 and 12s are to break the world record, and you haven't even touched those polls. There's one pole in my bag that's that I've never touched in my career, and that is my goal to be on that by the end of my career.

SPEAKER_02

That's a trip. So you not only don't hit the height ever until you try it in competition, but then you also never touch the pole. Correct.

SPEAKER_00

Correct.

SPEAKER_02

What if it feels weird?

SPEAKER_00

Like oh, sometimes they like label it wrong. Yeah. So you try to measure it.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god, my perfectionism could never. I'm like actually so OCD. I'm like, I'd stress the hell out.

SPEAKER_00

Like, what do you mean?

SPEAKER_02

It's gonna be different.

SPEAKER_00

Like, I try to go to like lengths to like help my OCD and perfectionism on the runway. Like to a point where like I will sit there and I'll like retape my pole. I will like make a mark with a smiley face. Yeah. I will like write a word on my pole to like trigger something in my head to be like, you're a bad bitch. You better plant this pole. Or I'll even be like, Do you remember that one time that ex-boyfriend said you were never gonna be good enough? And I'm like, You go to a dark place. You soon just see Red, you're like, fuck that guy. I'd be like, This is your moment to show him, you know, just like stupid things like that. We're so petty, we're like, actually, that works. Yeah, it works. It works clock it or to as simple as like, if you take this pull up, you get a glass of wine tonight. Period. And so there's just like things like have her how you're feeling that day. And that has always been my secret. Like, I'll be at the back of the runway sometimes not wanting to be there, and to like really push myself, because really you're running full force into a wall, yeah, right? And if your steps aren't perfect and you're not on purpose.

SPEAKER_02

I can't attest. It is very challenging. I tried it a few times.

SPEAKER_00

I do, I'm determined to get over eight feet though, okay? You're so good though. Like, even re-watching the video, I was like, dang, she really got upside down. I'm really so proud.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, after one session, I was like, okay, I get the hype. And now I'm like, I'm I'm in it. Like, I want to try it again.

SPEAKER_00

And like time went by fast. We were there for like three and a half hours. Dude, I was fried. We were burnt.

SPEAKER_02

I was burnt to a crisp and I was exhausted.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Like literally cooked.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

But your sport is so mental. And I think that is something that I forget about it. Yeah. And then when you try it, you're like, why is my brain more fired than my body? Yeah. Like, because you're only running for what, a few seconds? It's like vault.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it's like very gymnastics vault, right? It literally is gymnastics fault.

SPEAKER_02

And so I kind of tried to like think of it like that. But obviously, when it's so new, it's still your brain's just thinking about a million different things. And you're like, I have this giant 12-foot pole in my hands. Like, what the hell am I doing? And I have to plant it in this tiny little hole and like somehow get over this bar. Like, what the fuck? For you, obviously it's mental, but how have you ever had like a mental block?

SPEAKER_00

Girl, I haven't, I'm like known for mental blocks.

SPEAKER_02

Really?

SPEAKER_00

I'm the girl that ran through three times at the Olympics and balked three times at the Olympics in Tokyo. Like I literally was on the biggest stage in my life. Well, I did have a concussion, but I ran through three times and been like, I don't want to be here. Olympic Games. Girl, it was, I was devastated because it was just a point in my career. A Team Canada had put me on antidepressors, completely messed me up. Oh my god. They were treating symptoms, they weren't treating the actual injury, right? And when I got off the mat, I knew I needed help like really bad. And that's when I reached out to Dr. Daniel Eymon up in Newport. And he completely took over my whole mental game and like got me off antidepressors, put me on natural vitamins, brought flew me down, got brain scanned, like really went deep dived into like what's going on chemically in Alicia Newman's brain. And he saved my career. He actually wrote a book about me on my career and the journey from 2021 to the Olympic medal. Wow. And I worked with him every single week for almost three years straight. And we did, I think, over 62 EDMR sessions.

SPEAKER_03

Damn.

SPEAKER_00

And he he was at the Olympics with his wife and kids, and he he's the reason I got my medal. 110%. I mean, my coaches obviously because they had been there since the beginning. Of course. But this sense of feeling over your mind. I knew exactly what I was doing. I knew exactly how to plant my pole. I saw it before it even happened. I knew I was gonna meddle before I entered the stadium. Wow. I just didn't know what color. And I think that that was something I've never felt in my career. I also gave up drinking for two and a half years. Wow. And that was really life-changing, just on like a personal level. Curiosity. Curiosity, like what would happen? I can't. How would I feel? Correct. And I felt completely bulletproof. And I didn't have ADHD. I had like very strict tunnel vision and I was so isolated in a point that like no one could tell me something. I never overthought anything.

SPEAKER_02

Because you're like, I know who the hell I am now.

SPEAKER_00

Correct. But even just because I was so healthy.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Like I was eating so many incredible things. I was on vitamins. I wasn't drinking.

SPEAKER_02

You were just being so meticulously intentional with your life.

SPEAKER_00

I had six people that was I was interacting with.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So my environments were shaken. Like it was just done to a T. And I again, I feel like the bronze medal was something that like I was like, I knew I was gonna get, but when it actually happened, I was like, this makes sense to the levels that you needed to go to to get that. Yeah. Um, and I would do it all over again for sure. You will be. You might have to, yeah. I might know. I don't like how much time do I have until I can give up drinking again.

SPEAKER_02

She's like, we can go out for another six months. And then it's and then we cat. I'll go cold turkey with you.

SPEAKER_00

Well, it's hard.

SPEAKER_02

I know. It's hard.

SPEAKER_00

You just need to find like a mocktail. Correct. Mocktails have been so especially in LA.

SPEAKER_02

Our personality is like we don't need a fucking drink. I don't even need coffee. No. Somehow. I don't know how. We're the energizer bunny and we're social as all hell. It's so like literally last night I had an event with ESPN and I was like, I'm just bouncing off the walls, buzzing, like the social butterflies been released.

SPEAKER_00

You're like, what is she on? You're like, nothing.

SPEAKER_02

Nothing. She's sober as can be. Yeah. But I think it's cool because once you know who you are and you know your worth and you know you've invested in yourself, that level of confidence is unmatched.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I'm like, I've done the work.

SPEAKER_00

I was gonna say, you know, you've done the work, but you also know, I think what's helped me with the confidence. I'm okay, people are hard on me, but I'm harder than anybody. 100%. So like when people say mean things, I'm I'm already saying those shit that shit in my head. Yes. You know? So like when people are like, how do you like deal with like criticism or how do you deal with failure? Correct. I'm already in the mirror, like, you better get your shit together. Yeah, you know, or like I'm already in the mirror, like, okay, Alicia, like you've been drinking a little bit too much. Yeah, you know, like I'm always very self-aware and I put myself in my place. So that's I think a big reason where my confidence comes from is because I don't let myself be less than, yes, to then put myself in a bad situation. And it and that happens sometimes, yeah. But you learn from it, you know what I mean? And then you're like, okay, yeah, that didn't work out, so let's just not do that again. But you gotta be able to live, and that's the hard part being an athlete in a on in front of the world, you're being on a massive stage under a microscope. Yep, trying to test things, do things like me going to Miami Swim Week and auditioning. I can't believe how many news reports picked up me walking in the Victoria's Secret fashion gym. Yeah, like those are big goals of mine, and I just like put it up just to like put it. Out there, yeah, and people are like, This could change her career if she does it, and it's like all this pressure is just naturally put on me because of what I've already done in the world, yeah, and I love it, but people also need to remember that we are very much human, yes, and we are already our biggest critics, so you don't need to be telling me that I have cellulite, like I get it, I haven't trained in this way or that way, or I haven't eaten right this way or that way, like I already know.

SPEAKER_02

Also, like none of your fucking business.

SPEAKER_00

What?

SPEAKER_02

Also, what does my body have to do with you? Correct.

SPEAKER_00

And that's why I think that's the negative of social because you share so much, people feel like they have an opinion of your life, which they very much do when you put it out. They're justified to have an opinion when it's like correct, no, yeah, and I think that that's what I've learned that it's like whatever you share, A is gonna be on there forever. And we'll be criticized, and we'll be criticized. But you know what? I've all always very much gone through my um, I guess my comments and gone through my social, and my people, my followers have always been so positive.

SPEAKER_02

They're so supportive of you.

SPEAKER_00

They like have my back.

SPEAKER_02

You have the best community, they're amazing. I mean, when I first posted with you, people were like, oh my god, Alicia and Gracie together. This is the best combo.

SPEAKER_00

So many DMs.

SPEAKER_02

Same.

SPEAKER_00

How do you know her?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I've been wanting to see this link up.

SPEAKER_00

I was like, wait, what?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I'm like, why didn't y'all tell us? We would have I would have flown out to Canada months ago. I would have been here way longer ago. She would have loved her boyfriend for me.

SPEAKER_00

110%.

SPEAKER_02

Just for the bean vlogs.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, no, honestly, worth everyone.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god. But no, literally, I feel like that is 100% the hardest part about being an Olympian. Like I've seen it, yeah, and unfortunately, I mean, I get a little glimpse of it being on social media and representing a university.

SPEAKER_00

You probably get it more than me because you're doing it all almost all the time.

SPEAKER_02

That's true. I do, I do a good amount.

SPEAKER_00

You are very, you have this, which is why you're so cool. Is like you have this athlete athlete body mindset, like powerhouse, but then you're influencing young women by doing what you do. Like that is something that is very hard, and that's why you're so unique at it. Thank you. And you're also you're curious too, whether you like it or not. I know that the sports you've tried, girl.

SPEAKER_02

I know what when you retire, you can come join a sports fan.

SPEAKER_00

I'm gonna have to do another like just do like a world tour with you.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, we have to literally before we have babies, which is like less, you know, less hurrah. Yeah, seriously. Before we settle down. I'm in. I'm so in. Oh my god. I am so I mean, I'm so devastated for you about the band, but selfishly, I'm very grateful because this honestly, this friendship has been such an incredible reminder to me. Yeah that there are so many badass women out there that will continue to inspire you, continue to push you. Like, I feel like we push each other so well in such a helpful, supportive way.

SPEAKER_00

Oh gosh, it's amazing.

SPEAKER_02

It's so refreshing.

SPEAKER_00

No, it's nice and amazing. I love it. I think that again, like we talked about like dating or whatever, but like when you're when you really invest time on women that want to see you do great, I don't think it's ever a bad investment. And when you know it's to the core. Yeah. And that's what I'm realizing. You know, I'm t I'm turning 32. Oh my god. So it's gonna celebrate. I know it's gonna be so fun. I just have recognized that I've I am moving away even from Toronto, wrecking recognizing who actually had my back, who's checked in on me. Because I check on the people that I love very much. And it's like you start realizing when you get older, you're like people actually maybe weren't in your life for the right reasons. Yeah, they're not in your corner. And I did lose a lot of friendships after the Olympics for sure. After I meddled, I was shocked. Really? Just different people trying to get different things from you, and always everyone's always trying to find this clout, you know. And I've never really used my platform for clout, if that makes sense. 100%.

SPEAKER_02

Um, I mean, same. I like I don't ever do that shit with that in mind.

SPEAKER_00

Correct. You're doing it because it's either your job or you're trying to make money, or you're passionate about it. Correct, or you're sharing your success, and so I had to really like reevaluate even my friendships, let alone my dating life. Yeah, gosh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

How's dating going?

SPEAKER_00

You know, it started getting better, but the only reason why it started to get better, and I'm gonna tell what if anyone else cares, but when I actually like went into it as like I'm not scared to lose this person by being someone else. Does that make sense? Yes, so I really much put in my non-negotiables right away, yeah. And I put in my like my like what my boundaries are. Yeah. And if they have a problem with that or they can't like think of it as like a good thing, yeah, then they're not the one. Then they're not my person. Yeah. And so I've gone on some pretty incredible dates, but they some of them haven't been willing to be like, oh, I can accept that or I can't. You know, they're like, wait, I don't understand why you think that way, or you know, a lot of people are like, oh, you want to do another Olympics? And I was like, Yeah, they're like, Well, like, what do I do in those two years? I was like, Well, you gotta do what you're doing. Live your life, babe. What do you mean? Support.

SPEAKER_02

What do you a barnacle? Yeah, it's crazy.

SPEAKER_00

So you think like it weeds it weeds up the ones that aren't the one. And what you've been saying too, you're like, my husband would never.

SPEAKER_02

My husband would never, and that is my favorite saying of all time.

SPEAKER_00

Isn't it the most texting everyone's guys? Like, my husband would never ghost me. You text them all the time, and I'm like, want to put your name like right next to it.

SPEAKER_02

Quote Gracie Cramer. Yeah, literally. Wait, that's hilarious.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and they all go out. You're right, like life is and a lot of them will message me back, be like, You're right, life is too short. I apologize. And I was like, Damn. I but at that time, I'm kind of like I'm already out of it. I not even out, but I like put a wall up towards you.

SPEAKER_02

The boundaries are set, correct.

SPEAKER_00

Because I'm not in this to play a game. No, I'm not here to just like have fun and do all that. Like, I'm that was like my 20s, yeah. I'm 32.

SPEAKER_02

We're ready. Girl wants babies in like three years, so yeah, girls trying to trying to settle down. Yeah, yeah. So for those listening that don't know what my saying is, it's basically like if a man does you dirty, yes, it the easiest way to move forward, move on, get out of it, or also just see it from like a really healthy perspective. And I don't know where I heard this, but it changed my life. Is instead of getting upset and taking it personally.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my gosh, that's the biggest thing.

SPEAKER_02

That's the biggest thing. Because I think us as athletes, we hold ourselves to such a high standard that we're like, wait, am I not good enough?

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

SPEAKER_02

Because obviously deep down we all think we're not good enough unless we're doing ex spectacular things, which is why we do the crazy shit that we do, right? Correct. So don't strip, don't hit that nerve. Let's not have to go to therapy now. So trigger. Yeah, don't trigger me. So instead, when someone, let's say they don't text you back or they cheat on you, or they are just an awful human being to you. We've all been through it. Yeah, but the easiest way to get out of it and not justify their behavior is to be like, my future husband would never. Yeah, I agree. And it's so simple and it reminds you that there is a person out there for you. It gives you hope. It also reminds you to hold your standard high because at the end of the day, that's how you're gonna be treated for the rest of your fucking life.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Do you want that?

SPEAKER_00

No.

SPEAKER_02

My husband would never not pick me up from the airport with flowers. Ew, my husband would never.

SPEAKER_00

Right, exactly. And even just like simple things, mistakes. Like I remember hearing this saying, and I'm probably gonna watch this, but it was like first time's a mistake, second time you have to say it, it's usually like a um, it's like more like a care um uh characteristic. Yeah. And then third time, well, you're just an idiot.

SPEAKER_03

It's intentional. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

You know what I mean? So like if you if you're getting to like two or three exes, or clearly we don't like exes, then you know you're like, okay, yeah, this is not good. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02

So I or like that person just doesn't like me that much.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, like wait, well, and that's the thing. It's like I give you one like for a mistake, but if this happens again, then not that I don't want to see you regreat, but like just take my name as your phone as future wife. Yeah. Yeah. You know? And just like, let's move on from it. But yeah, I think naturally I've always been so attracted to male athletes, and I think it's the mindset, it's the fact they have something going on, they get it, they get it because you have such an extreme lifestyle, it's really attractive to know that you can bond through that relationship.

SPEAKER_02

And I get it, I've dated athletes too, and like I've dated non-athletes, and I mean, definitely the athletes get it. They get it, and they don't question, like, oh, why are you eating that, or why are you doing this? Why are you working out so much? Like, they don't give you shit for it. And they also support the dream. Yeah, and so I do think it's valuable when they don't have an ego.

SPEAKER_00

Well, and this is the problem is like you're talking to this, like they need their ego stroked, and I think that that's where I wish male athletes could recognize if they didn't care so much about that, how much more potential they could have.

SPEAKER_03

I know.

SPEAKER_00

Because I remember like how much more, how much better I was being with a man competing than I was without. Does that make sense? And there was only the and I'm gonna put it out there because the sense that I'm with somebody, especially me, like when I'm with someone, I'm with somebody, I'm not looking anywhere else. Oh yeah, no, we're locked in. I'm locked in, yeah. Loyal to a fault sometimes. Like, yeah, me too, yeah. Sometimes too much. And so I'm locked in. And so I was really able to like redirect my attention to me.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I'm very focused on me and then our relationship. But when I was single and I'm starting to recognize that is like you could be talking to, you know, A and B. You know, it's a distraction. And you're like trying to be like, okay, am I do I really feel this way towards A? Do I really feel this way towards B? Like, how does this feel? And then you're you're having these conversations, but at that time you could have been having this conversation. I'm like, okay, let me do another like rep or let me like. It's a distraction.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, at the end of the day, it's you know, it's pulling focus from what you should be focusing on.

SPEAKER_00

Correct. And I wish male athletes would recognize that.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Because they could be at such a better level.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, I never thought of it like that.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and I think there's both ways.

SPEAKER_02

Like, obviously, when I get like I mean, look at Tara, like Tara Davis. Perfect example. They literally just posted together her and her husband, they're both Olympians.

SPEAKER_00

They're incredible.

SPEAKER_02

And he posted a video where he's like coaching her, and he's like, I know you're tired, but you're gonna do it anyway. And I'm like, that's the type of husband I want. Yeah, you need someone that's they get it, but they push you.

SPEAKER_00

And you respect them because they respect you. Yes. And I think that a lot of what where I've found like the my male athlete relationships gone wrong is a the ego looking, looking for wandering eyes, wandering eyes, and never satisfied some double tapping. Um, and then also the sense of being like not able to support your your female like athlete. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like recognizing that this was potentially her time to shine. Yeah, not stealing the focus and not stealing the spotlight, but not feeling it bad internally. It's so hard, and I and I get it because it's a competitive, like you're being competitive.

SPEAKER_02

If you're both stars, correct.

SPEAKER_00

It's like how can you both shine in your own right run into that like male, a lot of male athletes can't handle it, they get like insecure, yeah, or they just don't know how to put you on a pedestal in the way you want it. Like they're not learning your love language at your highest level and at your worst. And I think that that was really hard for my last relationship. Is I was at a point that I was taking a break from training. Okay. Not because of the suspension yet, because I didn't know when I was dating him, but I was okay to like wake up at like 10 and then go to Pilates and get matcha. And I think a part of him was like, Are you not into that? Like, go work out, go get great, go get this. And I was like, I just want a medal last year. Give me a break, like yeah, I'm gonna break. Like, I'm just gonna like go through it and I want to invest time into becoming a great wife and to becoming a great mother. Like, I wanted to start developing those characteristics. Like, what's it like cooking for your teammates? What's it like cooking for a family? Like, what does that entail? Yeah, and I think I think a lot of him thought that like I was just like ready to be a stay-at-home wife. Like, little do you know, but no, and I was like, that's not what I was doing. I was just trying to see if I could tap into another characteristic of myself, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And um you were exploring a different life out of curiosity.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and I think that I felt bad daily being around him, like I wasn't accomplishing things, and so that's where I I recognized our relationship started to like he wandered, you know, wandered off, and and I was like starting to feel insecure because of his wandering eyes.

SPEAKER_02

Well then you start feeling like okay, I'm not doing anything right now, yeah. And then you start having almost like short-term memory loss, and you're like forgetting that you're you are that bitch, right? And you know, he's getting all the attention because he's football and whatever.

SPEAKER_00

I was so invested. I was like, I like I remember being at your spot when you're about to break through. Like your team is right there. Yeah. And I was like, you guys are gonna win, you're gonna win. It's coming. And I just like I think that that was just that a relationship like that is could have been so incredible, but it was just wrong timing.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And that it is what it is, you know. And so I obviously want to see them do great. I I like wish them the best, but but moving on, not my husband. No, he's not my husband. And he's definitely one, I'm definitely somebody that he would have fumbled for sure.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00

For sure.

SPEAKER_02

You will be for every fumble. You're the kind of girl that every every man probably stays up at night and is like, this girl. Damn it. I can't believe I fumbled it. That's nice.

SPEAKER_00

That's nice of you.

SPEAKER_02

No facts. You are the fumble girl. We we try, we try. Always just trying. You're the one that got away.

SPEAKER_00

I probably did. I aspire to be the girl that got away every day. You 100% are the girl that got away. Stop. Like, I'm sitting there and I'm like, who like who wouldn't want to put themselves in your life? Do you know what I mean? Like, I feel like you come from a great family. You're touches. We 100% are, but I think that intimidates a lot of men. It does. I think women athletes, again, women athletes are at a point in our careers where we're on the ups. We're starting to get paid better, we're starting to have this confidence, we can provide for ourselves. Yeah, we don't need a man. And we don't need a man. And I think women in life, and I think men aren't adapting to what women are gonna be like being able to be their own provider.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

This is where we're at in the world. And you don't just have to be an athlete for this. Yeah. I think just in general, women want to go to work, they want to make their own money because they want to have trips with their girls and they do what they want to do. They want to have a life. They want to maybe have their a chef for them so that they don't have to cook. And men aren't adapting to that. It's not that we want to be better and we don't want a man. Of course, we want men and we want relationships and we want marriage and we want to like bring a companion. Correct. Yeah. But we're just doing it different than our parents did. And sadly, our parents raised the women and the sons differently. So now, like when I'm gonna have kids, I want to raise my son and daughter to know that they can have their own lives and they can do their own things and they can come together as an equal. Yep. You know, and I think recognizing to be a leader, women are going to like enhancify what men bring to the table and being okay with that. Yeah. If men's gonna bring you a house, we make it a home. Yeah, they're gonna give us sperm, we're gonna make a baby. You know, like we're just enhansifying your lives. We're not enhansifying the word. No, I'm gonna add it in there. It's a word now. We're gonna add it in it in there. It's we'll submit it. AliciaNewman.com enhancify from Alicia Newman. And I just find that we're constantly, and if men can realize that, like we're not in competition, we're not threatening them. No, we are enhancing their life, we're enhancifying, and we're making it easier for you because we also want to provide in this economy you don't want two incomes.

SPEAKER_02

Get out of here. And I think we're trying to buy a home, babe. Like just to have a trying to have a fun lifestyle, trying to explore the world. Like, how could you think that there's anything negative about that? No, like truly is in.

SPEAKER_00

And I think that's our problem.

SPEAKER_02

And you gotta go to therapy and work on yourself if I'm a threat to you.

SPEAKER_00

Correct.

SPEAKER_02

If I threaten your masculinity because I make a little bit more money than you, or I'm more aspiring than you, or I'm more driven, yeah, then check your ego at the door, figure out a way to match my energy, and if not, then don't bag a baddie if you can't date a baddie.

SPEAKER_04

Correct. Correct.

SPEAKER_00

Sorry. Like, and you want us to put you on a pedestal, then you need to lead like a pedestal. Yeah. Or on put us on that pedestal to watch you lead.

SPEAKER_02

We can be on the pedestal together. Yeah, but it's not that deep.

SPEAKER_00

It's it's like it's not. I think women are, we don't need a pedestal to like stroke our egos. I I've never met a woman.

SPEAKER_02

We've always put our head down. Correct.

SPEAKER_00

And I've never met a woman that's like, I need you to tell me that like I'm the best. I haven't really met a lot of women like that, but I've recognized in my relationships they need that. And that's fine, but then you better lead and put us in an environment for me to say that to you. Yeah. Because if you're doing things that don't make you a leader or a- If you're not acting like a hubby, then why should I act like a wife?

SPEAKER_02

Correct.

unknown

Correct.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, clock it. Wow. Clock it. So much tea. I know. I'm getting like kind of hungry. I'm like, maybe we should grab lunch after that. I know. Like, ooh. Okay, well, there's a little fun segment here on the show. True. I know. Called Dear Athlete. I mean, we've been giving a lot of really amazing advice. I'm scared. It's nothing crazy. It's just advice for like the younger generation. Tell me your deepest dark and secret.

SPEAKER_00

Like, oh, what is my deepest dark and secret right now?

SPEAKER_02

Okay, first one. What advice would you give an athlete struggling with fear or self-doubt? It is kind of more rapid fire.

SPEAKER_00

Well, yeah, I speak very a lot. Um, okay, so fear or self-doubt. I would say fear is just like um an emotion. It's not it's like a social construct. Yeah, so we call those ants. Um, and you need to put those self-doubts on the outside of where you are. So, like that is just like a protecting mechanism. Okay, protecting you from growth. Correct.

SPEAKER_02

Correct.

SPEAKER_00

I love it. Because your body likes to be in a comfortable safe zone.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And so nothing great comes with being comfortable.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So trying to recognize that fear is actually like a tipping point of you becoming great.

SPEAKER_02

It's limiting you. Yeah. Yeah. I would say piggybacking on that, like fear is all in your head. Yeah. It's what you identify, right? And I think there's so many times where you can reframe fear and be like, wait, is this anxiety or is this excitement?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And if we choose excitement, odds are you're gonna have a phenomenal competition, phenomenal experience, and you're gonna get so much more out of it because you've realized that you're you are in control. And fear is literally just something that's kind of like a non-issue if you don't make it an issue. Correct. Right? Like, don't put power, don't give power to it because all it's doing is limiting you from your growth.

SPEAKER_00

No, I love that.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, second.

SPEAKER_00

Clock her.

SPEAKER_02

I'm like, should we be coaches?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, should we a mentor?

SPEAKER_02

Should we host retreats?

SPEAKER_00

Oh my, I'm in. I like love retreats.

SPEAKER_02

I want to host an athlete retreat.

SPEAKER_00

You would okay, yeah. You need to. Okay, we're gonna do it. Everybody that has been on the phone. With everyone that's been on the pod? Yes, girl. Okay, okay, we're gonna do it.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god. Yeah. Well, you're like more girl bossy than me, so maybe you can help me on the business side of things. I got it. We'll host it at your oh yeah, that would be amazing.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, period.

SPEAKER_02

Um, any life hacks for calming nerves on competition day?

SPEAKER_00

Oh slow music. Oh I do try to do slow music and then I do eight breaths, like eight hold seconds in. Eight, seven, wait, and then four seconds. Four, seven, eight. So I go one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, hold, and then four out.

SPEAKER_02

Mmm, I go opposite.

SPEAKER_00

No, I go, yeah, I go the other one.

SPEAKER_02

I learned four, seven, eight. So it's four inhale, hold for seven, and then exhale for eight.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, either way. Fucking breathe.

SPEAKER_00

I do it, but I do it because it speeds my heart rate up.

SPEAKER_02

Oh.

SPEAKER_00

So it allows me to get ready like quicker.

SPEAKER_02

Almost like familiarize yourself with feeling your heart rate up already.

SPEAKER_00

Also, like I'm putting myself in the zone to go. So I it's almost a trigger. It's like if you can do one thing every time to trigger you to know, okay, it's game day.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Then your body starts getting used to it. So the the eight in for me is like almost the build up phase to my pole vault run.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And then the last three steps are fast, right? So I like breathe out fast. Oh. So almost like I guess you can say visualization.

SPEAKER_02

You're like emulating the tempo of your run. My breath. That's a trip. I wish I knew that about Vault. I should have done that.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, girl, I saw you vault. She don't need no breathing. I was I was breathless. I was like, oh, she just chewed your tank go double.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, that was freaking insane. Which clock it put it right here. Stay tuned for that sport swap. That's probably gonna go live like right before this. So I can't wait. You better go watch it. It's pretty fire. It's gonna be good. That was the most insane day ever.

SPEAKER_00

I had so much no warm-up. My neck was like messed up for my god week, but I didn't care. I was like turning like this everywhere.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, next time we're gonna stretch and warm up properly because we're not 21 anymore.

SPEAKER_00

Far from that.

SPEAKER_02

And especially doing a skill that we haven't done in a very, very long time. Exactly. Okay, last question. Okay. How do you separate your self-worth from your performance?

SPEAKER_00

I think I set my I really do believe I'm like two different people. And I think that's when I'm leading, I'm I'm just Alicia Newman the athlete.

SPEAKER_02

You're Alicia fucking Newman.

SPEAKER_00

I'm Alicia motherfucking Newman. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep Newman. Literally. And then when I'm like off the track, I'm like my soft girl, cancer, nurturing, loving human. I see that. And I love that girl, the off-the-track girl. Oh. Even though I love my on-track girl, but my off-track girl is just like I don't think your on-the-track girl would have a lot of friends. I just don't be a little intense. She's intense, but in a way that it's just like people just are like they can't get to that like that mentality level. Yeah. I don't expect people to see it like that because it's not relatable.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Because I don't even relate to her sometimes.

SPEAKER_02

But you're like, you're like part the Red Sea when you walk. I can just see it. Like I at competition dick, I could see it. Like you walk and everyone's like, move, move, move.

SPEAKER_00

Like, oh my gosh. She's coming.

SPEAKER_02

She's coming.

SPEAKER_00

I just need you and like my hype woman. Like I was walking out, I'd be like, Team Canada, hire me.

SPEAKER_02

I will literally just come to your meets and hype you the hell out.

SPEAKER_00

I'm I'm putting it out there. Uh the IOC needs to have you as a podcaster at the Olympic Games.

SPEAKER_02

100%. In the Olympic Village. In the village. Oh, it would be so good to talk to you. Athletes After Hours in the Village edition.

SPEAKER_00

After hours would be wild. Everyone coming sitting down drunk. It would be amazing. You get like the honest true self of each athlete. I'm getting like sued left and right.

SPEAKER_02

They're like, don't release that. She was not in her right mind.

SPEAKER_00

You just have to put a little like uh PG. Read it R. Radin R, do not watch it.

SPEAKER_02

For mature listeners only. Please drink responsibly. Oh, well, thank you so much. That's all I have for you. This was I really appreciate you.

SPEAKER_00

I could go on for hours. I know.

SPEAKER_02

I'm like, you know what? When we retire, we can launch our own little podcast.

SPEAKER_00

Girl, I'll rewatch it every day.

SPEAKER_02

The has been podcast.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I'm so in.

SPEAKER_02

I love you. Let's go get some lunch. I'm ready. Okay, period. I love you guys so much. Thank you for tuning in, and I'll see you next Wednesday. Oh, and also go watch our sports bot. Oh, yeah. Okay, bye. Bye.