Athletes After Hours with Gracie Kramer

Gracie & Katelyn Rosen on UCLA Gymnastics, Bouncing Back, & Big Sister Advice

• Gracie Kramer • Season 1 • Episode 21

Share episode

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 1:04:44

There are some conversations that just feel like looking in a mirror, and this was one of them. This week, I'm joined by UCLA gymnast Katelyn Rosen, someone I lovingly call my mini me. We dive into what it's really like to compete at the highest level of collegiate gymnastics, navigate the pressure that comes with wearing the UCLA leotard, and fight your way back through the mental struggles that so many athletes experience but so few openly talk about.

We also have a big sister/little sister conversation about life after sport, the emotions that come with entering your final year of college gymnastics, and the uncertainty of what's next when the sport you've dedicated your life to begins to wind down. As two floor performers who approach performance in such a similar way, we also geek out over artistry, performance quality, and what it feels like to truly connect with an audience beyond just the gymnastics.

Whether you're an athlete navigating pressure, someone approaching a big life transition, or just love hearing honest conversations about the highs and lows that come with chasing excellence, I think you're really going to love this one.

CONTACT ME FOR BUSINESS INQUIRIES 💌: graciekramerteam@unitedtalent.com

FOLLOW ME ON SOCIALS —

SPEAKER_00

Now the Daily Bruin is writing articles about me, and people on Twitter are talking about me. Yeah. And it just all and boom explosion. Like I had the worst mental breakdown in the locker room. I'll never forget that day. I oh my gosh. Like hyperventilating. Like a full panic attack. And I've never had one before. Today's guest is one of UCLA Gymnastics shining stars, a U.S. classic floor champion, and one of the most captivating floor performers in college gymnastics right now. She's helped lead the Bruins into a new championship era while becoming known for her confidence, consistency, and ability to light up an arena the moment she steps out onto the floor. Caitlin Rosen, welcome to Athletes After Hours. That was a crazy intro. Why are you gassing me up? It's my job. Hello. Thank you. How are we? I'm good. You look incredible. Thank you. You're welcome. Oh I haven't even showered since practice this morning. So thank you. Fresh out of the gem. Yeah. Honestly, duh. That's like how we do it. I mean, this isn't gel, it's sweat. Period. Life hack. How to do a slick back, just sweat. Yeah. Just train your ass off. Exactly. So we have so much to unpack because, first of all, girls been booked and busy. Yes. You've been in season for the last four months. Mm-hmm. And uh, I haven't seen you. So let's cash the hell up. Okay. I do want you to obviously help our audience understand you a little bit better first. So let's kind of start from the beginning. How'd you get into gymnastics, your background, and then how we ended up at UCLA? Yeah. Because Miss Bruin's sister over here. Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Well, I was born in San Antonio, Texas. Okay. And I have three older brothers. Cute. And they're all crazy, crazier than I am, even. And uh Dawson, the youngest of the sons, he did gymnastics. Oh, okay. So the moment I came out of that womb, he was already had me in a handstand. Oh, yeah. I definitely learned my first flip from him on the trampoline. Oh my god, same. Literally, my older brother taught me a flip on the trampoline too. We're twinning and everything. Always. It's crazy. I always say she's my mini me. It's an honor. Um, so yeah, my mom was already taking him to gymnastics class. So obviously the coaches were like, oh, let's throw her in the mommy and me classes when I was like, what, two or three? Always. Um, I absolutely loved it. I wanted to be at gymnastics class all the time. Oh. Um, and then yeah, I just stuck with it. And then, like, once I like actually gained consciousness of like what I was doing, yeah, I was like, wait, I want to be better than him. So like that became my goal. And then we love a competitive bitch. No, literally. That's me. So then he quit. So he made it easy on me to be better than him. But um, he was like, he's genuinely the most talented person, like alive. Like it's unfair. Um, it's like very inspiring, but it's also a little bit unfair when it comes naturally. When it comes so my god, what my brother is like a natural freak of an athlete. Like any any sport, he can just do it for a day and he's like already made it. Yeah. Um so annoying. That's not me at all. Me neither. So yeah, but I do think we're better off. I think we are because we learn how to work really, really hard. Exactly.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So you had to work hard for gymnastics. Yeah. So I was busting my butt even when I was like six, six, seven, shoot. I'm sorry. Even when I was six or seven years old. I can't. No, I can't. So sorry. Oh my god, my teammates are gonna kill me for that. Um, yeah, I already was like working so hard at such a young age, literally, because I wanted to be better than him. Like, I don't know if he knows that, but he'll know it now. That's cute. Yeah, and then he quit, but I stuck with it. And it just got more serious. As you know, like the coaches like came to my parents, were like, your daughter's going to the Olympics. We need to get her homeschooled, fast track, tops, junior elite. Here we go. If you've ever seen Stick It, you already know the vibes. You already know. Yeah. So we were all in at a very young age. Actually, like never went to public school. Really? Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know that. Never. I don't know how I have the social skills I do. I'm so impressed. Actually, my parents and like my family. Yeah, like your upbringing. But yeah, that makes it even more impressive. Thank you. Like, first grade teacher at the gym. You literally just grew up in the gym. Yeah. How many hours were you training when you were training for the Olympics? 30 a week? More than that. More than that. You do 30 now. No, we do 20 now. I really was because I will say, like, Twin City Twisters was so good about pacing you. Oh, that's cool. Not destroying you with heavy, heavy hours. Because we did like eight hours a day at Gym Max. We did not do that. We didn't do like double day practices. Okay, so we did, yeah, we did lunch and dinner at the gym. Yeah, that's it. Which is insane. I lived off like lean cuisines. I was like, yo, if this is what I got. If this is what I gotta do to go to the Olympics, I don't really want it. This is a lot. That's real. And I was like, what, 10, 11? To a point. Yeah. And then you're just destroying your body before you even have a chance to become great. Yeah. Well, you also, I think what's tough is when you're around elite gymnastics. Like, I'm curious what your perspective is on it because obviously Twin City Twisters did a better job at making it a little bit more balanced. But a lot of times it's like you see more tears than joy, unfortunately. Yes. Let me get closer. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. A little louder for the people in the back. Yes. So yeah, and I have clearly had my fair share of those tears. Yeah. Um, so when I was like, I want to say 15, going on 16. Okay. I was like, I need an adjustment. Like, this isn't working for me. I was very unhappy. It was taking a toll where I was. It was taking a toll on my on me mentally, physically. And like on top of that, it wasn't just that I was like unhappy. I also wasn't really improving. Like in my plateau, yeah. Like I just totally plateaued. And I also was like losing the spark, losing the motivation. You were burnt the hell out. I was burnt out. Yeah. And at such a young age, it's like crazy. Yeah. Um, and again, all my brothers were older, right? So my parents were like, they're the most supporting, giving people. Like, I could not be any luckier. Yeah. They were like, you can try out any gem you want because we want you to be happy and we want you to go to college with no regrets about elite. So I tried out some gems, took my mom all the way to Minnesota so I could try Twin City Twisters, and I loved it there. Wow. Yeah. Like the girls were so welcoming. I remember they asked me to like go to one of their pools like on my tryout week and like hang out with them. The coaches were like so sweet and like that's cool. For elite coaches, they were great people. Yeah, they really they cared about you as a as a human being first. Really did. And they really cared about making practice fun. I love that. I was like, I could have had this my whole life, like this is incredible. So wow, yeah. Chose, of course, I chose the gym farthest away from San Antonio, Texas possible. Um, and in the worst weather conditions ever. Oh my god. Brutal winter. Made for the cold. No, I was not either. It was terrible. Um, that part, but again, the gym was great. Um how did I get to UCLA? Well, I committed before the rule change. Before you could only commit after junior year, correct. Okay. Yes. So you committed what, like eighth grade? Yeah, eighth grade. Oh my god. Me and Sydney, me and Sydney borrowed. Period. Same year, eighth grade. Um, I mean, I've been asked this question a million times, but I chose UCLA for the floor teens. Like, period. Of course I did. Yeah. Um, because I was so young. Did you always perform in club as well? Yeah. So you okay, you've been like built like this for a minute. Yeah. Like we talked about it. Yeah. Nothing about gymnastics comes easy to me except the performing. Wow. Like that has always been my thing. I remember getting complimented on that, like super young and compulsory. Like my coaches would be like, the rest of you need to have the same posture as Caitlin. Like, you need to extend your fingertips like Caitlin does. Oh, that's cool. So that part always came really naturally to me. Um, so when I saw you on TV, hello, guilty, yeah, performing the hell out of everything you did. Yeah, I was like, that's gonna be me. I want to go to that school. So that's actually insane. Yeah, like I helped dictate your decision. Yeah. No, that's crazy. I mean, I don't know if the timeline aligns exactly. Like, wait, what do I mean in freshman year? 2017. Okay, yeah. Then yes. That's insane. I think I committed 2018. That's insane. Yeah. Wow, that's crazy. I'm really honored, honestly. Bring me to tears. You're that girl. What can I say? Oh my god, stop. I will say, like, it was such a cool full circle moment that like people recognized your performance quality. Yeah. And they literally said, like, she's like a baby Gracie. And you had already been like, Yeah, girl, I've been knowing that. Like, you've been inspiring me. Like, you literally were my person I looked up to to better my performance. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what? Like, and I'm out here like admiring the hell out of you because you're out here doing all around freshman year crushing. It's crazy. You're such a little rock star. So the fact that like you looked up to me, I was just like, it was so humbling and it was so cool to hear directly from you that you felt that way. So we instantly clicked, obviously. So that was a really, really special moment. But you get to UCLA. Yeah. How was your first year there? It was a dream come true. Yeah. Yeah. It was everything you thought it was gonna be. Like no BS, it was everything I thought it was gonna be and more. Wow. Like I think was it your first year with Chris or was it with Janelle? No, it was with Janelle. Okay, yeah. So you've had Janelle all I Janelle's my girl. Okay. I've had her all of college. Okay. Um, like I tell everybody, and it's still true, freshman year is the greatest year of my life. Like, I loved it. Again, Twin Cities Fist was like, no one else can relate, but love. Okay, yeah. I got lucky. I'm like, freshman year was the worst year of my life, but like I love left for you. That's what people say, but yeah, it's impressive. So, I mean, like I said, like Twin City Swisters was was great, it was a more positive environment, but it's still isolating as hell to be an elite. Yes, everybody knows that. Um, I'm only one of what, like a hundred girls doing it. Yeah, exactly. It's such a small group of people. Yeah. So not a lot of people can relate. No, unfortunately. But it's like I didn't have a single friend my whole life that was not a teammate. Wow. Well, I mean, you're homeschooled. Yeah. So you did school. Where was I supposed to make the friends? Like, exactly. Which wasn't a bad thing. Do you have many friends now that I do? I do. So many. So like I came to school and I was like, oh my gosh, I have so many friends now. Yeah. The world is your oyster that don't know what a back answering is. Like, this is so fun. That is cool. Um, and I was so scared about school. Like, I was so, so nervous because again, I was doing online school. Yeah, it's so different. But then I ended up having like, because of Buyo, yeah. Mm-hmm. Buyo, she told me which classes to take, and I had the best professors. So, like, even my first quarter of school, I enjoyed. Oh, yeah, that's special. Yeah. I mean, I can relate to that 100% because I was homeschooled seventh, eighth, and ninth grade, I think. And before that, I had even gone to like a weird school where they like didn't believe in homework, and it was like a really, it was like a hundred kids. It was like really small. Yeah, it was interesting. And um, my I remember like the first day going to high school, I transferred in my sophomore year. So I show up the first day, didn't know a soul. I felt so anxious and nervous about it. And then literally the first class I took, it was like an English class. And they go, Cool, did you do your summer reading? And I was like, Definitely did not do my summer reading. And I was like, Yeah. And then they're like, Cool, we're gonna do a test, like a pop quiz on like your summer reading. So I'm already like, Well, I'm effed. I didn't read. I did not like reading at the time. And then I also have radio raging ADHD, so like, no way I'm getting through that book. And then three, they put a Scantron in front of me, and I literally go, What's that? I literally raised my hand. How embarrassing. I raised my hand and I was like, excuse me. What's what is this? Dumb blonde over here. Everybody was like behind my back, like, this stupid bitch does not know what a Scantron is. Like, it was crazy. Like, people would literally come up to me, like, are you the girl that didn't know what a scantron was? Babe, I'm sorry. That's I was like, it's a terrible start. I hate this. Bad start time. It's so embarrassing. It was bad. It was bad. But yeah, I was like, I remember shitting bricks going into my first year at real school. Yeah. Because it's just you don't know. Like everything is so different. It's a complete and I was like, what is this? A locker? Like, I gotta carry my bugs with me. Like, what? What are you talking about? It was just such a huge adjustment. So I can't even imagine taking that and then putting it even bigger. Like, college is a whole different beast. Oh my gosh, it's insane. I mean, I remember all the homeschooled girlies in my class having such a big shell shock because it was so different than what they were used to. And also just getting the freedom.

unknown

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

Like having so much free reign is dangerous. And in LA. Hello. And in LA. Like, yeah. Did you get ever get into trouble?

SPEAKER_01

No.

SPEAKER_00

What? Of course not. I didn't get into trouble. No, I didn't. Like be so for real. No. But oh my gosh, I had the best roommate freshman year too. Oh Alex Irvine. Shout out to you, girl. I miss you every day. Like I loved her down. So we like clicked like that. So like roommate, perfect. Team, perfect. Coaches loved them. Yeah. And then I realized I actually liked school. Sick. Which was crazy. That's cool. Oh wow. Because I was like taking classes with an actual teacher instead of reading from a computer. It's probably so much easier. Yeah. So then I was like actually motivated to like study. Ended up crushing it. Sorry, not a brag. Like crushed my freshman year. Yeah. Um yeah, like you said, was blessed to compete all around. Yeah. All freshman year. That was crazy. Um, so you're just writing this high. You're having such a great time. Genuinely, I've never been happier. So then we get to sophomore year. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. So that was not as great. A bit more of a roller coaster. Yeah. How do we feel about sophomore year? Okay. If you would have asked me a year ago, I would have been like, oh my gosh. I don't want to talk about it. Leave me alone. Yeah. I'm email. Don't you know? Yeah. But I've honestly healed since then. Good. Um, and that sounds like a little bit dramatic, but it's honestly not like it's not dramatic at all, girl. Like somehow in like that year, I'm a completely new person. I have a completely different perspective on this sport. Yeah. Like everything changed for me. So just I wouldn't say long story short. I'm just gonna say long story. So you can just use the long story, girl. We have an hour, so let it run, right? So all right, get comfy. Yeah, freshman year was perfect. Yes. Like the team didn't have an outstanding end of the year, but I you had a great I had all my dreams come true. Yeah, truly. Um, and I was so excited for sophomore year, and I wouldn't say I was like lazy over the summer because that's like not my not in your DNA. That's just not my personality at all. But I had never had an off-season ever. Well, yeah, we train year round. We train year-round. There is no off-season in elite in club. So I was still like working out consistently over the summer, but um, I was back in San Antonio and I didn't really have like a home gym. Yeah, I was like, it's tough. Comfortable throwing my actual skills in. That's really tough. Okay, so to give people an idea for the those that don't understand what we're talking about. So basically, when you're done with your season, you still have school. You can train like you have practice hours, but you're not training the same level that you were when you were training in preseason and season. And then after school's done, you're literally off for like three, four months in the summer, and you're expected to just go to your home gym and train by yourself for three, four months and keep up your skills, but also not plateau, but then also not peak. And it's like it actually is so difficult. I don't even know how we did it. Like, they basically like our weights coach would just like send us our sk our training um regimen, and then like we just have to like try try to do it on our own. And I'm pretty sure nine times out of ten, like the girlies were not doing it. Like, I trained my ass off because again, like that's just who I am, but like I also had something to prove. Like, I did not have the freshman year that I wanted. So I came in to the summer with a chip on my shoulder, and I was like, and I got freaking thrown into the stands at nationals. I wasn't I didn't even compete, I didn't even, I wasn't even on the floor. So like I very much had something to prove. So thank God because I had that fire on my ass. But like I trained so hard that summer. Yeah, but I don't know how it would have been if I had a great year, right? Because it's really hard to be motivated to train by yourself. It's scary as shit, too. It's a scary sport, and it's boring, yeah. And long hours by yourself, you don't have teammates to push you. And I'm like the definition of an extrovert. So like I use energy by being around people. Yes. Um, so yeah, and I had like towards the end of my freshman year, I was still competing, but like I had a back injury, just like it was like spazzing me and stuff. So I remember um like everyone was like, Caitlin, like you need to rest this summer. Like you're the hardest worker we know. Like, you just need to chill. Yeah. And I heard that, and then along with just not having a comfortable gym to do my real routines and skills, um, I went a little bit too easy. And again, I was working out, but I wasn't doing my real gymnastics. And like I can't stress this enough. Everybody is different with how they are with breaks in gymnastics. I'm a reps girl. I'm a reps girl too. I need reps to feel confident. Genuinely, some people can stay fit and have good basics and throw a routine at any moment. I'm not that person. Good for you, babe. Love that for you. Like, I'm so happy. Oh, yeah. Like Kate, Peng, Hallie, all those girls literally would train like once a week because their bodies were broken and they needed to preserve their bodies in order to compete. And I'm like, how the hell do you do that? Like, I have so much respect for you to be able to pull out a routine without training at all. You literally do one pressure set and you're done. I'm out here doing 15 vaults a day and I still land on my ass. I feel you. Retweet. Hello.

unknown

Retweet.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. No, I feel you. Could not be me. And I know that now, but I didn't know that then. Yeah. So I was like, oh, I'm gonna be like everyone else. No. Nah. So I show up sophomore year. I'm a little bit behind in like my skills, like I'm not making my vault to like even the soft landing. Yeah. Um, like my bars, like everything, like my rhythm was off. And just like immediately my confidence took a hit. But it was okay because I'm still at my dream school. I still have all my best friends around me. I have really great coaches. And then well, one thing about gymnastics too that a lot of people don't get is it's so mental. And if you're not training to like a specific level, you lose skills so fast. It's like actually terrifying. Like, I lost my vault so quickly after I retired. Yeah. It and it got scary. It wasn't like, oh, I just can't physically do anymore. It was like, no, this is actually terrifying. Exactly. So then when you had this confidence hit, like I remember you and I connecting, we grabbed lunch, and you were like almost in tears telling me like how frustrated you were about the whole situation. And like I think what also happened is that you had this expectation over your head. Exactly. You had like everyone expected you to be this great rock star athlete that you were your freshman year, and it kind of made you crumble a little bit. This pressure was like debilitating. Yeah, I think that's like exactly what I told you at that yeah when we talked. Um, so yeah, like I remember I got like my routines good enough to compete, but I wasn't confident as I was like freshman year, not even close. So I was like a little bit doubting myself in the competitions, wasn't really having as much fun because of that. Yeah. And then there was one away me, I don't even remember what it was. I sat down in my vault, but I was like, no, it's okay. Like, vault's never been my best event. We're going to floor, yeah, we're gonna crush this. And then I fall on floor. Wait, what? I fall on floor. On what skill? On a one and a half front layout. No, not that one. On a one and a half front layout because that's a seat drop. No, it was my fault. I don't know what happened. My legs gave out. Oh, I rushed shit. I don't know. Now I'm on my butt for the second time. Oh, humble. At an away me, I'm like, humbled. Should I just quit the team? Like, I'm like, obviously, nobody's like, nobody's mad at me. No, but you're human. You're allowed to make mistakes. I also like I get embarrassed really easily. Like, I'm you're just a girl. I'm mortified. Well, okay, yeah, but to be fair, you're also in front of thousands of people. Yeah, people are expecting things of you. You've created this narrative in your head that you're this big rock star girly, everyone's counting on you. You're the all-arounder. Like, it's a lot. It's a lot of shit. That's a lot of pressure on a girl who's literally 18, 19 years old by herself in this big world of LA, and you're on this massive stage. And like, well, also now we have social media where people can rip you to shreds on Twitter. Like, I remember scrolling through Twitter all the time. It was so toxic after like a meet where I messed up and just like literally crying myself to sleep over it. Cause I'm just out here like you're right. I shouldn't be in lineup. You're right. Like it just confirms all the insecurities, you know? Yeah. No, for sure. So I get it. So yeah. So I was like, after that meet, I go back to the gym. I'm like, what am I doing? Like, I am literally putting in 110 effort every day, and it feels like I'm getting worse at my sport that I've been doing for my entire life. So then I'm not enjoying it. Yeah. And that has nothing to do with like the team culture or the coaches. Like, everybody is giving me all the support that they can. They're trying to make me happy again. And I wouldn't say I was like depressed. That's too much of like a description, but like I didn't want to go to practice, and that's not me. You fell out of love for a little bit. Just a little bit, but enough for it to really like affect my motivation. The sport's too hard. It's too hard to not love it. To not love it. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Truly, unless you're motivated by something else. Like, I don't think you're. Like that, where like you get motivated by like accolades and titles and stuff. Like that doesn't do it for me. Yeah. For me, it's like the progression and growing. Yeah. And if I feel like I've plateaued, I get depressed. Yeah. Like I literally feel so down on myself. I'm like, oh, I'm just not gonna get better. Yeah. Like I'm stagnant. Yeah. So then I wasn't meeting my own expectations. And even though this wasn't being communicated to me, I feel like I was failing my team. Yeah. I felt like I was disappointing my coaches. I felt like my family at home like wasn't proud of me anymore, which was the farthest thing from the truth, of course. And then, like you said, social media, like I don't get bothered by social media at all. I think Twitter's honestly hilarious. I think I think if you're a college or professional athlete, people are gonna talk about you. Yeah. And like you need to be okay with it. That's kind of the fun of sports, yeah, is sharing your opinions about things. Um, do people take it too far sometimes? Maybe, but like freedom of speech, like, I don't know. I love like comp I just love competitions. Like I'm okay with it, but that is another thing. Now the Daily Bruin is writing articles about me, and people on Twitter are talking about me, yeah, and it just all and boom, explosion. Like I had the worst mental breakdown in the locker room. I'll never forget that day. I oh my gosh, like hyperventilating and like a full panic attack, full panic attack, and I've never had one before. I've never, I've always been super cool. Yeah, and you know what I think it was. I remember talking about this specific point of it with BJ one time. When I was an elite, I was good. Yeah, I was very good, but I was not great as an elite, right? I was always like top 10 to top 20. Okay. I was never podium. I was I was on the national team one time, but I never actually represented USA. So I was never a winner. Yeah. Okay. And then I come in freshman year and I'm winning. Yeah. Right. And I'm really good. People know my name. I'm a little bit more famous. So I had never been competing to win. I was always competing because I was I liked it and I was really good at it. And now I'm competing to win. And that was the problem. Yeah. There was a new pressure that I never felt before. And it just all piled up. I had this huge mental breakdown in the locker room. I remember Shay Campbell walked in and she gave me like the biggest hug ever. And like that is, of course, how I got through it was my teammates in the end. Um, but it took time, yeah, it took a long time. And then because you've created these neural pathways where it's like you have basically these thoughts that now have become your reality. And it's really hard to shake those thoughts because they're so intrusive. And especially when shit hits the fan and things get difficult, you're gonna revert back to those beliefs that you've created about yourself that are so diluted. Well, obviously, your parents support you, obviously, your team loves you. Nothing is actually happening, but we've convinced ourselves of this narrative and it's completely ruined your experience. Precisely, and every athlete can relate. I I think maybe I'm biased, I think it hits gymnasts more, but every athlete can relate. It's near impossible to separate your self-worth from your performance in your sport. Because we're literally gymnasts since we come out of the whom. Like that's been our identity since the very beginning. Exactly. That's why I literally launched this podcast because I'm like, oh wait, you are you also struggle with identity. Okay, cool, cool. Got it. Me too. I'm not the only one. Wait. And then you start realizing like everyone feels that way. Yeah. There, I mean, shit, like there's literally stats about like NFL players who are suicidal after their career's end. Absolutely. Because they have nothing else left. No, it's a serious problem. Yeah. Their entire identity. And I mean, I was gonna ask you later, but like we can talk about now. Like, how do you feel about all the NIL stuff? Because now that there's money involved, how do you not compare yourself to your teammates who are making more money than you or less money than you? Or how do you not get wrapped up in all of the big business of it all? Oh my gosh. It's so much noise. I have strong opinions about NIL. Let's hear it. Okay, I love it. First of all, I love that individuals are profiting off of themselves and their hard work because I do think universities were in a way taking advantage of that for sure by profiting off of us. If you're selling a jersey with my name on the back and you're making money and I haven't seen a cent of it, that's wrong. I agree with that 100%. On the flip side, I think a degree used to mean more. I know. I think the dream was always to compete for a school and have your education paid for. And I think that's a privilege and that's an honor that has disappeared. I think we've lost the plot. I think we've lost the plot of college athletics as much as I think I should profit off of my own success. And well, everyone's a walking billboard now. Everyone's a walking billboard, and I feel like people aren't people anymore, they're just a money sign. And especially with like football and basketball, I feel like it's just another professional league. Yeah. The way people are transferring in and out, just following a money bag, I think less for gymnastics because it's not as often, but it's continuing to increase. I feel like if you're just following the money, then you're never gonna build team culture because you're not in it for the right journey. You're in it for the wrong reasons, you're in it for the bag. Again, respect, I think you deserve it, but not if it's at the cost of your team culture and actually winning a national championship. Yeah. 100%. I mean, I I have strong opinions about it too, even though it doesn't affect me anymore, obviously. Like, but I mean, to some degree, it kind of does affect me because I do content creation, I make money off brand deals. Like that's my main income. And so when they pay athletes to rep brands and stuff, and these athletes like don't know what the hell they're doing, and they're just like, oh sure, I'll promote this, I'll promote that for a very small amount of money because they just see the check and they're like, Oh, wow, like I'm finally getting, and it's like it dilutes the influencer market, anyways. Yeah, long story short, I think what really sucks is athletes losing their love for the sport because they're looking at the dollar sign 100%. Yeah, it really actually makes me sad. Like, I am so curious if they took all of that away. Yeah, how many athletes would be taking fifth years, sixth years? Like you're taking opportunities away from people that are coming in. Yeah, you're taking scholarships away. And another thing is I worry about high schoolers choosing their college based on who's writing the biggest check and not do your values align with this school? Yeah. Are you going to get a degree that's gonna set you up for the rest of your life instead of short-term cash? Yeah. And when you're a high schooler, like you're easily persuaded. Oh my god, people were literally buying the girl, like the kids' houses. They're like buying their parents' cars, and like it's crazy. It's like the money they're getting thrown at, and also like who's managing their money? I gotta know. Like, I have no idea. You're an 18-year-old and you're getting five million dollar checks, like that's insane. Unreal. And then also, what is that really teaching people? Yeah, chase the check. No, exactly. I'm with you. Are you really gonna develop any skill sets outside of that? Yeah, and then what happens when brand deals dry up, you retire, and then you've done absolutely no hard work to actually set yourself up for success. Yeah, that's exactly right. It's gonna be a hard slap in the face. I know. Yeah, it's gonna be tough reality. Crazy. How has it been with you guys in the culture having someone like Jordan on the team who's a big name making big money? And like, has that affected the culture at all? Has it shifted the dynamic? I don't think so because like she's one girl, you know, and hello, two-time Olympian, yeah, deserves deserves all her flash, you know, like deserves everything. Um, and she shares it with us, like she gives us gifts. She does also give you guys a lot of opportunities. Yeah, like she brings you guys along for brand trips and stuff like that. Yeah, things like that all the time. So I feel like because it's um But she buys all things sometimes. Oh I have a few Nike shoes from her wedding. So yeah, I feel like um since it's just one team, one human and completely justified in all of her success because of what she's accomplished. Um, I think it's been okay for us. But I can't imagine what it would be like if we had five Jordans on the team. Oh yeah. Oh that would become cutthroat for sure. I mean, I've even heard just like it just sometimes affects the dynamic in the sense of like favoritism and like the whole crowd only cheering for her. I mean, you look at like social media and it's like they're gonna use her face for every thumbnail, and yeah, it's like it makes sense, it sucks, but it's like that's the way it is. Yeah, it frustrates me actually as like a viewer because I want to see all my girls, and it's it's like I love Jordan to death, and I I think she deserves her flowers 100%. But it's like, can we not like can we not like throw other people in between? Like I went and checked like the social media recently after you guys went to nationals, and I was looking for posts for me from all y'all, and it was only Jordan. And I'm like, I mean, like yes and no, because on the other side, like she has done so much for college gymnastics, like she has brought in so many new fans. True, and like she's literally what the fans want to see, and I get it, and I get it because I want to see her too. Yeah, um, and at the same point, like just makes me sad for everyone else because I want them to have opportunities as well. I want equal opportunity for everybody. I get that. Yeah, I'm just protective of my friends. I'm like, what do you care about us? No, I get it. I care about everybody, and I know that it's hard because like I was on a team with massive names too, like Caitlin Ohashi and Kyla Ross and Madison Koshen and like legends, yeah. Pang Peng Lee, like, of course, they're gonna be the front runners for all the content and they're gonna be the ones getting picked for media days, and they're gonna be the ones, you know, being the face of the of the program. But yeah, I do think it's important to still give other athletes an opportunity to be given the same opportunity to the platforms. Yeah. Especially when there's NIL deals involved. Yeah. Because like I imagine if I mean, I even remember there was uh something that happened recently where the Minnesota coach was pissed because they didn't get any screen time at nationals. Oh wow, really? They made final four, no screen time, yeah. See in the last in the last rotation, they got three percent. Oh, that hurts my heart. Three percent coverage because you know those girls work just as hard. Work their asses hard. They made it to the end, they deserve to be celebrated. They deserve to be shown on TV. Yeah, but because they weren't in contention to win, it didn't matter. Yeah, and I just think I don't know. It's it is it's the name of the game, it's broadcasting, it's whatever. Like we can't control that. But and I think like gymnastics is like just now really gaining viewership. Yes. So things are gonna start you know, those channels are trying to figure out what the hell is going on at these competitions, like they don't really understand. So I think they're gonna figure it out. But I'm totally with you. Like, I think it's hard, but it's gotta be. I get it. You're making money, so it's like you gotta show the big names, you gotta show what's gonna it's like clickbait, yeah. Like it makes sense. Just I hate that it's like that, unfortunately. Yeah, but I mean, I have heard that it is really important, like as you guys are moving forward in athletics to build out your followings, to build your brand. How is that going? Uh okay. I'm not a social media girl. Like I know, you know, like you know, but some people love it. Some people love the vlogging, they love it. Paige is so good at it. Oh my gosh. Like her content is amazing. I just don't have the motivation to do it. Uh, but it's fun. It's so much work. Like, even though it's how y'all do it. I'm literally like, I do this as a full-time gig. Like, I can imagine it's even a full-time job. Yeah, I can't imagine having to film, edit, post on top of train, school, yep, social life somehow. Yeah. So, like, yeah. So building time for it's so hard. Building my brand is like not in my top five priorities at all. I will say I was really grateful UCLA brought in a new company to help us with that. Nice. Um, Article 41, like they work all of our NIL deal. They do, um, like if they get us the deal, they'll film, edit, tell us what to post and when to post. And that is so, so helpful. But my god, where do I sign up? No, literally. Like, I love that's sick. Again, Paige, if you're listening, thank you for all of your hard work for me. Um, because that definitely helps a lot. But obviously, we don't all get assigned one person to follow us around with a camera all day. So, like, if you do want to reach more people and grow your following and all of that, it takes a lot of extra hours. Yeah. That some of us aren't willing to give me. Because you were recruited to do gymnastics.

unknown

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

And get a degree. And get a degree. I'm like trying to get a degree from the number one univers public university. Like, yeah, I don't really. It's a grind. Yeah. Have you noticed other girls, maybe not on your team, but like just across the board in athletics, maybe slipping a little bit with either school or gym or their sport or whatever? Like, something has to give. I think I think something has to give. And or like, have you heard like people struggling with managing it all? Yeah. I mean, everybody since the beginning of the time, like student athletes are stressed and tired all the time because of everything on our plate, and this is just one more thing to worry about. Yeah. Um, so it can be very overwhelming. And I do think something has to give. I haven't heard like horror stories or like any specifics, but I will also think like your university kind of is gonna dictate how much time you have. Like, I think UCLA course load is much greater than other schools. Yeah. Um my gosh, like it's UCLA, like the academics are crazy there. So I think I might have way more homework than somebody else. So they might have more time to focus on like the social media aspect of it. Yeah. Um, and I also know that uh I have heard like other schools get a lot more academic help in a way. I have and even like social media help as well. And social media help, yeah. Because I think UCLA is a very like self-sufficient school. Like they really want to teach us like self-sufficiency and in owning your own life and everything you do, and like figuring out a way to do it. Obviously, if we're like struggling with a class, of course, we're gonna get a tutor. Yeah, but our hands are not held through it. No, at all. Oh, yeah. I can I can attest. Yeah, I uh that's I did not miss school. Oh my god. So we just wrapped our junior year. How are we feeling? I you're going into your senior year, dude. I cannot believe I'm missing. It doesn't feel right. I feel ancient. Oh what the hell? What do you mean you're graduating soon? No. Ew, uh, me too. I have I'm gonna try to come to as many meets as possible next year because like I'm gonna have to soak it all up. So, how are we feeling? You just wrapped your junior season. Yeah, you guys had a tough end. Really tough. How was that? Walk me through that. All right, let's walk through it. First of all, was the season better? Yeah, the season was great. Okay. For you personally. Oh my gosh, for me? Yeah. Okay, great. So, like, uh, yeah, to give a little conclusion of sophomore year. Wait, we jumped around a little bit. We really did. We're out here. Okay, so sophomore year was terrible, beginning and middle, but then um, I had the best coaches ever that let me take as much time as I needed to come back. Yeah. So then I come back, big 10 championships, my first beam routine in two months. One of the judges gave me a 10. Get the hell out. I swear.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

You know what? That is so cool because I feel like so many athletes are like, I'm burnt out, I want to stop, blah, blah, blah. Like, but I I don't want to quit. And it's like, bro, there is an option to walk away for a second. Like, you can take a break. There's no rule book. Yes, there is no rule book. So go take a break. Yeah. And that's it. Do it when you actually want to be there. Exactly. Because you will perform better. Exactly. I needed the break. And again, like, how good did that feel though? It probably confirmed so much for you too to be like, wait, no, I really did need that break. No, it was really like it wasn't just you, it was just your psyche needed a second. Exactly. Mental, physical, emotional break, and then um that's so healing. We had been undefeated all season going into Big Ten Championships, and then my first beam routine. I mean, it was not a perfect routine. I don't know why they gave me a 10, but I did end up getting a really high score. I definitely cried. Um, I mean, that day is probably like my favorite competition ever because Sienna gets her 10 on beam. Yeah. And then we go to floor, and it's neck and neck with MSU. Like they were putting up a really good fight. Wow. But then Brooklyn Moores goes 10 on floor, Jordan Childs goes 10 on floor, and those were 10s. Yes. Property perfect. And I pretty sure, yeah, that was our highest score of the season. Wow. So it was just so gratifying that not only did I come back and have my best meet, yeah, but also by putting me back in the lineup, we got our highest team score. Yeah. That was very gratifying for me. Absolutely. You're like, wait, my team like really needs me in a good way, not in a pressure way. Yeah, they do then and then from there it wasn't pressure anymore. Yeah. It was like an honor again. Yeah. And that's when I do my best, is like when I'm competing out of gratitude. And so yeah, so then we were national runners up. It was amazing. So sick. Such a good year. Um, I knew what to do this past summer. Let's go. Okay. I never took my foot off the gas. Like I was gonna do, yep, I was doing routines, parts, all of it. Did you train back in Texas or did you go to Minnesota? I actually stayed in LA. You stayed in LA? Yeah. So I cannot tell you how many privates I had with Mark on vault. Smart. Yeah. And I had my vault like locked in by November. I was feeling really confident. And now it was like I had experienced the best freshman year possible. Yeah. I had and then I had experienced the worst sophomore year, but with the best ending. So now I feel like and I've experienced everything, and still my coaches love me, my team loves me, my family's proud of me. Life goes on. Nothing changed. No matter the outcome, nothing has changed. That's cool. And that like completely changed the sport for me. It really did. Because literally, that's what I always think. I'm like, no matter the outcome, nothing changes. That part. If I win a national championship, guess what? I still have to take my final exam when I come back. So is it that serious? Like, yeah, I love the sport. I love winning. I'm most competitive person alive. If you watch our blue versus gold challenges, like if it's a board game, I'm gonna flip the board if I lose. But yeah, but it's not that deep. It's not that deep. It really isn't. That's really cool, though, that you've been able to find a perspective that really helps you perform at your best. It really does. But yeah, we were undefeated Big Tens again. So amazing. We also broke a bunch of attendance records for a way. I did see that, which I think is really cool. I love bringing in new fans. And it's cool to help elevate the other school as well. Yeah. Because then you know that if they're going to that school to watch Jordan, they're gonna start coming back to all that. Yeah, do I mean that's gonna help be their goal? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And I love seeing Big Ten gymnastics grow. Like that makes me really happy. Love it. Um yeah, we kicked ass this season. We were feeling amazing going into nationals. Like, yeah, we weren't overconfident though. We knew we were gonna have to put up a fight. Yeah. I mean, Oklahoma's always good. They're always gonna be good. LSU's always gonna be good. Florida's always gonna be good. Yeah. Um, and I have mad respect for them. And we don't really have any regrets though. Like, yeah, we choked. I'm just gonna say it. We choked on day one nationals. I think everybody's mindset was right. We didn't have any crazy injuries. Yeah, all of the things were in order, aligned. It should have been a great meet, and it wasn't. Damn. Sometimes the stars just don't align. Exactly. And it hurt, and I was really pissed off, especially because obviously it felt like it was my fault, even though it wasn't. It's a whole puzzle. It depends on everybody. But I choked on Vault. Like I sat down, I didn't make digital. Yeah, I fell at the biggest meet of the year.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Wait, we need to talk about this. Oh my god. I was so embarrassed. Because like Vault is not my event. I just it's it just doesn't matter. Which is crazy because you're a phenomenal Vault Art. Thank you. I appreciate it. You're welcome. But again, I have to put in like so many reps. You have really hard for it. You can work so hard for it. Um, but I was finally confident in it this year. Yeah. Because I was nailing them. Like they were getting they were getting better everyone posted on my Instagram, you sticking your one and a half, and I they gave you a freaking nine eight five, and me and Pooh were like, what the hell? I mean, my legs were a little sloppy in there. I'll give her a few but no, it didn't matter to me. It didn't matter to me because I stuck my one and a half that part. You stuck that shit cold hello. Anyways, that was really sick to see. Yeah. So then what do you think happened?

unknown

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, you actually just don't know. Okay, genuinely. You just rushed? I think so. I cannot tell you how many times I replayed those three seconds in my head. I think if we're looking at it from a technical gymnastics perspective, yes, I rushed. But I can't tell you why I rushed. I was in everybody was in such a good mental state. Yeah. And the stars just didn't align. And unfortunately, that's sports. And I cried about it all night. Oh, babe. But then I woke up and Janelle's like, Hey Caitlin, guess what? And I was like, What? She was like, the sun rose today. I was like, Yeah, you're right, Janelle. It's dead. Wow. That's okay. That's really refreshing. It's actually going to be okay. Yeah. Which that's exactly what I needed to hear that day. Yeah, you're like, my heart's beating. I'm alive. I'm alive. I'm at one of the best universities in the country. Genuinely with my friends. Do my sport that I love. Yeah. Wow. So obviously it hurt, but again, it was hard to dwell on it. I couldn't, I couldn't even give any more emotion to it because just like I said, I'd learned after sophomore year, like life goes on. I put in all this work. I didn't walk away with a trophy, but guess what? I enjoyed the hell out of all that work. Yeah. I made so many good memories with this team. I think this was one of the best teams I've ever been a part of. That's so cool. And and I wish we won, but we didn't, and I'm okay with that. Yeah. Yeah. That's beautiful. Thank you. I'm proud of you. That's freaking growth, man. Yeah. And I would not be talking like this freshman or sophomore year. Trust. Trust. I would be here sobbing still, saying I should have done more, but I gave it my all. I really did. You did. Yeah. And sometimes it just doesn't pan out, and that's okay. And I want people to know that it's actually okay. Literally, life goes on. Life goes on. Like I'm a perfectionist still. Yeah. But I know I can't be perfect every day. I know I'm gonna fall on my ass sometimes, and like that's okay. It's simply okay. Yeah. And also, how exciting is it that you still have one more year left? Yeah. It's not over. It ain't over, girl. It's not over. We just add in a little spark to the flame. Absolutely. Yes. Okay, so then what's the plan for this year? What's your goal? Win a natty, baby. Win a natty. I just want to win a damn natty. It is pretty fun. I'm not gonna lie. Yeah. It's pretty fun. So, what was that like? You know, just like you know, trophy. I don't think I've ever cried so much in my entire life. My my emotional reaction is to just sob. Yeah. So I think I cried for an average of like five hours that day, just because we had such an incredible team, and then it was just like so fun. And then we all just like somehow knew in our bones that we were gonna do it. And I genuinely think the stars just aligned. I don't even know how the hell we did it. Like paying getting a perfect 10 on two events to and she needed to get a 9.973 or something shit. I don't know how many times I've watched this beam routine. Like, bro, if you people listening need to go watch this meet, watch the whole meet now, watch the whole thing. Dude, insane. We literally had like, I think a 5% chance of winning by like the second rotation. Like people did not think we had it in the bag. We didn't even think we had it in the bag, but we were just out here like Dululu. Yeah. Like, oh yeah, we got it. We're nattties, you know, we're we're natty champs. And honestly, I truly believe the best part about sport is you can be as delusional as you want. And that's the memory that's gonna be in your core. Yeah, like bad. That's a good point. You could, and I even said that when I got a perfect 10 was like when I got interviewed about getting a perfect 10, they were like, How does it feel? You finally got this number, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, I knew in my core, not even on some cocky shit, I knew that I had done a perfect 10 routine in the past. Because I knew what I had trained for and I knew the standard that I held. And just because I didn't get it that specific day didn't mean that I was I wasn't worthy of a perfect 10. 100%. Those are all control, like those are all things that were out of my control. Yeah. So as long as I lived like a natty champ, I believed I was a natty champ. And I truly believe like you guys could have easily won a national championship if you had done the performance that you did at Big Ten. Yeah. Oh, a hundred percent. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. It's literally just anyone's game. Guess what? Any team could say that. Exactly. Yeah. And that's the cool thing about it. Is like, why do we have to harp on the the negative when we can truly just say, like, no, I am a national champion athlete. I haven't won it yet, but I'm I tr I treat myself every day like one. I act every day like one. You know? Yeah. Like I'm not a millionaire yet, but like, yet. You know what I mean? I will be. But I will be because I act every day like a millionaire would.

unknown

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

I hold myself to the standard of a millionaire. Yes. Do you know what I mean? I think some optimistic delusion is good for the soul. Dululu is key, truly. Yes. I mean, that's how I literally became a gymnast on UCLA's team. Right. Hello. I literally walked on. Yeah, you have the best story ever. Actually, literally walked on and was like, I suck at vault. I can't get my vault for the life of me. And uh, I guess I'll just do floor. I literally wasn't even recruited to do the floor. I don't think I knew that. Oh, yeah. Girl, I literally fell on my ass at warmups, um, first day nationals, my freshman year. Love that. Um, Miss V knocks on my door, asks for the credential, says you're sitting in the stands. My parents had flown all the way out to St. Louis. Oh, yeah. Just from podium training before, like the warmup? It was the first day of comp. Oh. So I was like alternate or whatever. I was kind of like seventh in line. If someone couldn't get their vault together, I was gonna be in. And then I had been in and out of lineup like consistently. And Randy, like my coach, was batting for me. Like he was in my corner. He's like, Gracie, I really want you to get this vault. Like, yeah, we we need your vault. We need the one and a half. You know, it's a 10-0 start, like it's a great vault. How many times do you hear that? We need that one and a half. This is the name of college gymnastics. Yeah, and it just did not help the pressure. I was so unwell in the pressure, but I feel you. Yeah, and so then literally I I sobbed that morning because I was like, Oh my god, I lost my chance. Like, I literally lost this incredible opportunity to be on this team. And then I was sitting in the stands with my parents and I was like, I'm never gonna let this happen again. I love that. Like I just was like, this was all my fault. Like I took full accountability. I was like, I couldn't, I could control my controllables and I didn't. And so I'm not never gonna feel this way again. Never, never. And then literally the next year I won a national championship and contributed on the floor. Boom. So it's like truly, it is all in your head. You just have to be able to like kind of be ballsy enough to like look, take a hard look in the mirror and be like, what did you do wrong? Yeah. And then also like, what are you doing to self-sabotage? Because a lot of times we also, yeah, we do a lot of you know, negative self-talk as well that we don't realize is so toxic. Literally, because we hold ourselves to such an impossible standard. But giving ourselves grace while simultaneously holding ourselves to a really high standard, I think is the key. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And unfortunately, I feel like you can tell a freshman that a million times and they're not gonna learn it until they live it. Girl, you gotta live it. You have to live it. You have to live it. That was like that moment will forever be ingrained in me as like the moment that I finally took control of my life. Because you you don't really get to make decisions for yourself until you get to college, anyways. You know what I mean? Like everyone's dictating what you do and how you do it. And and you know, like we talked about, like when you have your um summer, you get to decide what you do and what you get out of it. Yeah. And so while everyone else kind of just like did the whatever that was expected, I went above and beyond because I knew I had to as an individual in order to keep up. Yeah. Yeah. Like shit, I'm literally on the same team as Olympic champions, like, and I'm a nobody. Like, obviously, I'm gonna have to kick my ass. Yeah, you know? So yeah, I think it's you're in a very similar position. Yeah. Where it's like, you know what you need to do. I'm very self-aware. Like, I feel like I've always had to work twice as hard to be half as good. But we ain't scared of hard work. Sorry to steal that quote, but like that that's how I felt growing up for real. And I'm not scared of hard work. I know how to endure. Yeah, when I like set my mind to something, it's like I will work myself to death to accomplish it. And the really good thing is like from college, I've now learned like what my limit is. Yeah. Because I know if I work too hard, you'll burn out. I'm gonna burn out and I'm not gonna enjoy it. So I have to find that sweet spot, but I know where that sweet spot is now. Yeah, yeah. I think what's cool too is having that understanding of like there are seasons, there's seasons within seasons, you know. There's the season to grind and to hold yourself to an impossible standard and you know, kick your own ass and all the things. And then there is a time when you are competing to give yourself some credit and be like, girl, this is freaking hard. You're in school, you're navigating life, you're trying to be normal every now and again, you know. God forbid a girl gets a boyfriend. You know what I mean? Oh my god, yeah. Like juggling all of that on top of now all the NIL stuff and the pressure from social media, everyone's expecting shit from you. It's just like, give yourself credit. You're in a very, very difficult position. I think people need to compliment themselves more. I have a rule with myself, I don't really follow it very well. I've been kind of bad lately, but let's hear it. For every mean thing I say to myself, I have to say three nice things to combat. That's hard to do, but that's good. You gotta get creative. Yeah, really creative. And some of my friends know this, so then anytime I say something mean to myself, they'll be like, three nice things. And I'm like, shit. Uh I'm nice to people sometimes. Like, no, I'm uncomfortable. She's like, I drink water today. I drink water, I ate a meal. Yay. Okay, so I actually do want to know how are you feeling about leaving your sport? Shut up. Bad. Bad. Bad? I've already cried about it. Yeah. Today? No. Oh. I'm like, I cry every day. We cried like an hour ago. Oh my god, that's amazing. No, I've already cried about it. But what about it makes you emotional? Okay. You're allowed to cry by the way. We cry on here all the time. Okay. I've just I've seen it already. You know, I know I've known this whole like college experience that it's gonna be over. Yeah. Like and I've been preparing myself for that. And uh like I'm sure every athlete comes on here and they tell you, my sport is my identity. Yeah, I don't know who I am without it. I think I'm starting to learn who I am without it, okay. Which is really good. Yeah. Um, because I made some great friends in college, and again, I'm succeeding in school. So I feel like there are a lot of pieces of me that have nothing to do with gymnastics that I really love. Good. And that's great. And I know that's a really good starting point, but I I still feel like I'm mentally 16, so I'm like, what do you mean I have to get a job and be an adult? Yeah, like that's really scared scary for me. So I don't know if it's so much as giving up gymnastics as it is not knowing what's next, specifically. Because I've always had such a clear plan. Yeah, of course. Like you're gonna be a junior elite, you're gonna be a senior elite, and then you're gonna go to college. Yeah, but there was nothing after that. I wasn't told what comes after that. There's no gameplay. Yeah, what's next? Yeah, and I guess I have to use senior year to figure that out, and that's like the scary part is like living in the moment enough to enjoy senior year, but still have a plan. Still have to think ahead. Yeah, I know that's tough. I can't imagine trying to navigate that balance because when I was a senior, I didn't give a shit. I'm like, I'm gonna try to get a perfect time and win another national championship. I'm busy, okay? Like I'm tunnel vision on this, and COVID ended my career. Holy cow. So my career ended a lot sooner than I expected. And I think, yes, as much as it was a gut punch and like the craziest reality check of my life, I don't really regret it. Okay. Because I am kind of an all-ass kind of girly. I don't be half-assing anything. So when I am all in on something, that's when I thrive. And I think there's, yes, there's different ways to go about it, but like go with how you feel. Go with what feels right. If you feel called to explore broadcasting or stunting or whatever passion you feel like exploring, explore it for sure. Yeah. Give yourself every now and again like opportunities to go try things and and just test the waters, just so you can kind of get a glimpse of what life would look like. But at the same time, like if you feel called to give it your all and and go out with a bang on your senior year, like do it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I mean, don't let the outside, don't let the outside noise affect you either. Because I know it's easy to easier said than done. But like for me, I remember so many times it's like such a freaking cliche. Oh, you know, what are you gonna do when you graduate? Because when you're a senior, it's like, what's next? What's next? What's next? And it sucks that society is so hyperfixated on what's next. Yeah, can we talk about that? It's so annoying. Yeah, like I literally just launched a podcast. Well, what do you want to do with for five, five to ten years? What do you see the podcast doing in five to ten years? Can I just do it now? Girly pop, I have an interview tomorrow. That's all I'm worried about. Yeah. Like, what do you mean five to ten years? Yeah. I'm just trying to stay present. And everyone's just like trying to hurry up and grow up and get their life together. But it's like, what are we hurrying up for? Exactly. Like, this is the golden year, you know? Like, these are our golden years. So, yeah, I would say honestly, like F the noise, like focus on you, focus on what's really fulfilling for you. Yeah. And like my biggest mantra when I was a senior was people asked me, like, what are you gonna do when you graduate? And I was like, I don't know, but I'm gonna do what I love and get paid for it. Oh, I love that. And look what you did. The Lulu became true. Yeah, it's flipping for a living over here. That's incredible. I love it. Like it just happened to be, you know, something I like almost low-key manifested, where it's just like, oh shit, like you made it happen. I am doing what I love, yeah, and I'm somehow getting paid for it. And I do think in this day and age, like the world is your oyster, like you could truly do whatever you set your mind to. Yeah. That sounds like again so cliche, but it's just like if you are passionate and genuinely so obsessed with something, you will stop at nothing to make it happen. And I know that about you, and that is so in ingrained in your personality that like I'm not worried about you. Thank you. You have the personality to like F around and find out in the best way. Yeah. So I wouldn't stress if I were you. Okay. Just let the wind take you. I love it. Yeah, you're very much very good. Like, I I wouldn't tell you that if I didn't mean it. I'm not really the one to like blow smoke up people's ass for no reason. I believe you. Yeah. Okay. Well, I want to get into our little segment called Dear Athlete, which is where we get to give advice to the younger generation. I know. Like little baby King baby Gracie. Oh, so cute. Just trying to do nuts dance. Okay, so first question is what's something that you learned over the years that you wish you knew as a freshman? Yeah, literally what we just talked about. Winning isn't everything. Winning isn't everything. Winning is not everything. If you win, if you lose, the sun is still gonna rise the next day and life is going to go on. So you have to actually enjoy and love the work that leads up to the big moments. I love it. Because that's what you're really gonna remember. That part. So true. Yeah, yeah, build your satisfaction in your progress and in the work. Yeah. Because that you can control. Yeah, exactly. You can't control what the freaking judge is saying about you or what score they're giving you. Precisely. You also can't control what your competitors are doing. Yeah. Like again, we did everything right going into nationals. It just wasn't our day. It just wasn't your day. Yeah. I'm just a big like if you tried, you succeeded. Ooh, I like that. Yeah. Try something. Yeah. I think as it because we're gymnasts and it's been ingrained in us since day one that perfection is everything, it's the freaking pinnacle, it's the peak, whatever. We're not encouraged to fail enough. And we're not encouraged to fall. And we also aren't trained to find joy in failing. Totally. And I feel like I've really reprogrammed my brain in the last few years to like not enjoy failing, but like enjoy the journey that it takes to get to whatever I'm trying to do. And also like embrace that every little failure is a step in the right direction. I also feel like everyone, including me, like everyone's so scared of being embarrassed. Yeah. It's like embarrassment is a mindset. Embarrassment is a mindset. I literally made an Instagram post about this. Did you yeah, it was like this, it was like this audio that was like embarrassment is a mindset. Like, I don't think people, I think it's an underexplored emotion. Like people do not experience embarrassment enough, and like it shows. Yeah. And it's like, go be silly, go be yourself. Like you truly cannot be embarrassed because what is embarrassment? You're literally just like convincing yourself that everyone's judging you. Yeah. Are people actually looking at you?

unknown

No.

SPEAKER_00

You actually know what's going on in their brain. Like it's your brain telling you that. Yeah, you're out here thinking you're the main character when you're not. Come on. What is one thing you swear by that helps you compete at your best? Ooh. I would say, I mean, it's actually different for everyone, but if you're actually asking me, it's staying super loose and relaxed. Like dance breaks, dance break. Laughing with your friends. Like literally talking about the most random out-of-pocket getting out of your head. Getting out of my head. If you watch me in the biggest moments, I dance before I salute. I'm talking right before I salute. It's facts. I've seen it. I'm dancing. It's great. Yeah. That's impressive. That's what really helps. I know it doesn't work for everyone, but it really helps me to just completely get out of my head. Because you've put the work in. It's muscle memory. And so you have to trust that like you can go on autopilot. If you can control your nervous system and get yourself to that sweet spot that's different for everyone, that flow state. That flow state, it's muscle memory. You do not need your brain. It's butter. At that point, it's like the best feeling in the whole world. Nothing. When you can turn your brain off and just be yeah, it's the best. Yes. Last question How do you pull yourself out of a bad place after a bad meet? Two things. Number one, friends. Super important. Um, your teammates are experiencing the exact same thing at the exact same time. So if anybody's gonna get it, it's them. They all know what it feels like. And I'm uh when I get upset, I get angry. I'm not a big crier, I get really angry and I keep it in. And I and I, freshman year, sophomore year, I didn't like to tell people when I was angry or when I was sad because I feel like I was being a burden. You're not, you're not, you're absolutely not. It's so important. Even if you're not comfortable expressing your emotions, write it down. Yeah. It's not a dear diary moment. It's like, no, like this is psychological. Write it down, get it out of your head, and you're going to feel better. So I think like releasing that to your friends, and if not your friends, to a piece of paper is really helpful. And then another thing I like is simple self-talk. Like break your sentences down to like as simplistic as possible. I had a bad day. I'm still great at the sport. Like really simple sentences to kind of try to do it. Self-talk again. Yeah. Because positive self-talk feels cringy and weird in the beginning. And so, like, when I broke it down into like simpler pieces, it started to work. I love that. Yeah, that's really cool. Yeah, for me, I think it was yeah, just getting out of my head, remembering that there's so many other opportunities. Like, this was just an opportunity to learn. Yeah. You know, like these were all lessons, these are all moments to grow. And growth is the pinnacle. Growth is success. Yes. Not a medal, not a title. You sound like John Wooden right now. It's really great. Oh, we'd stop. It's the ultimate compliment, right? No, it literally is the ultimate compliment ever. Oh my God. Make every day your masterpiece, everyone. Mm-hmm. Period. Well, on that note, thank you so much for coming on. Thank you for having me. Can we do this every week? Yes. Okay, period. Actually, we don't even need these. We can just you and I can just yap at Ruby. Yeah, you're gonna call me when you're officially retired. Yeah. And then we can brainstorm.

unknown

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. We can throw you into Circus Olay. We can do all the things. Put me in the movies, bro. That's the thing. I'm ready to get my Oscar. Literally call me and I will take you to try Circus Olay in Vegas. I have so many friends that do that. Okay. We can go into stunts. You can try wire work. You can do shooting. You can do literally everything you want. If you hate that, we can get into production. You can be my little assistant. You can get to social media. Like amazing. The world is your roy star. Just call me. See, now I'm excited. See, that's the thing. Yeah. Anxiety is just excitement, just in a different mindset. Put that on a t-shirt. That part. Well, thank you so much for coming. I love you so much. I love you so much. This was so fun. Be sure to tune in every Wednesday. I'll see you on the next one. This is Athletes After Hour. Hey. Bye. Bye.