Prioritizing Family Over Business: David Peck on Sports, Risk Taking & Living Fully

Rachel Peck welcomes her dad, David Peck, to Unmasked - a Beyond Worthy podcast as he visits New York after becoming a new grandfather to twins. David describes himself as sporty, provocative, and a dreamer, sharing his lifelong passion for competition through hockey, lacrosse, squash, motocross, and especially windsurfing, plus how he’s adapted to chronic back pain from scoliosis. He explains “provocative” as using humor to challenge the status quo, including playing tournament squash doubles with Rachel’s mom. As a dreamer, he reflects on building projects, unconventional work in early solar heating, later real estate pursuits, and building a heated shop in Bozeman, Montana, where he moved after 9/11 to decompress from the pressure of the Chicago suburbs. They discuss prioritizing family over wealth, marriage lessons, honoring his mother, Fay Peck’s artistic legacy, grief after losing his parents, maintaining friendships, turning 70, and memorable European travel to Norway and Greece.

To see more of Fay Peck's work, check out her website: https://www.faypeck.com/

Join The Beyond Worthy Collective and support the show: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2600831/support 

Transcript

Rachel & David 0:00

Hello, everyone. Welcome to "Unmasked," a Beyond Worthy podcast. So glad you are here listening and tuning in today. I am so excited to introduce you to a family member. Before, let's take a few deep breaths together. Wherever you are, biking, walking, driving, notice your breath. Tune into this moment and take a second to slow down. And with that, we get to welcome David Peck, my dad. Dad, how are you feeling today? Fantastic. I'm a new grandfather. Yes. Your sister had twins day before yesterday. What a joy. This is why I have the honor of having my dad in the studio today, because he is visiting New York to meet the new grandchildren in the family, my niece and nephew. How does it feel to be a grandfather? It feels like there's a new dimension in front of me, and it's opened up, expected and unexpected feelings. Emotions from sudden weeping to to just pure joy, so a wide range. Mm-hmm. so it's, it's gonna be a tremendous experience going forward. I agree with that. Let's introduce my dad's three words he would use to describe himself. We've got sporty, provocative And a dreamer. I'm excited. These words are fantastic and a little bit unexpected. Dad, will you start to tell us about sporty? Sporty, I couldn't come up with another term for it. But it's, it all is all centered in my passion for sports and recreation, and the fact that I love watching sport, team sport, individual sport. There are few sports that I wouldn't enjoy when they're playing at their highest levels, like in the championship game of even a ping pong game, it's my love of watching sports and participating in sports as a competitor, as an athlete. over the decades, especially in my youth, I, I suppose given a choice of applying myself academically or applying myself as an athlete, I chose sport and athletics. What sports did you play growing up and into adulthood? Ice hockey, lacrosse, little bit of football, squash, windsurfing, motorcycle racing, dirt bike racing, which is called motocross in my teens. And did I say windsurfing- Mm-hmm was a huge passion for about 20 years. So some sports that are very common and much loved, and other ones that make you think twice. What's that? Back when I a- adopted lacrosse as a eighth grader, as an example, very few people knew what lacrosse was. But it's better known today certainly than it was then. For those people who might not know what windsurfing is or looks like or feels like, will you share the experience of being out on the water and what that's like? Well, windsurfing is also called board sailing, so they're one and the same. It was a sport that came about or was invented in the Mid-'70s, I would say. And I started to windsurf in the early to mid-1980s. And at the beginner level, it's a struggle, and that's why a lot of people don't take it up, is because it's so frustrating at the beginning. that's why I became a certified instructor, is because I got through that difficult period, the learning curve, and then I was able to teach people, standing on the beach on a simulator so they had the tools to go into the water and make it happen. But, windsurfing is somewhat like surfing, except you're on a board with a wing, a s- a mast, a boom, and a sail. And at a high level, there's nothing like the rush that comes with windsurfing in high winds and high waves, and the thrashing that you can take out there, the beating when you crash into the water in a lot of wave action and high winds, you really have to focus to get your posture just right to do a water start, to get up. And again, if you're not balanced, you're just gonna get pitched the moment you get lifted up out of the water. I've, I've windsurfed all over North America and it's something that I dream about still, even though I haven't windsurfed in about five or six years, and s- I haven't seriously windsurfed in 20 years. But, other sports have taken me But I'll continue to windsurf as long as my body will let me and on the occasion in places like Florida. Would you say windsurfing is the most challenging physically and mentally in terms of all the sports that you engaged with growing up and up to now? Pretty close, but possibly motocross racing and tournament squash playing is the most physically demanding sport, as they're recognized, in the world but windsurfing takes a terrific amount of strength, balance, and stamina. Has it been hard As you've gotten older to adjust the engagement you have with sport and physical activity? T- I've just adapted. Yes, it's been a little bit difficult to realize you can't do that anymore. I've got chronic lower back discomfort, so I don't play squash, which is a lot of twisting and sharp acceleration from a standing position, a lot of bobbing and ducking and twirling the shoulders and rackets. So again, I've adapted and replaced that with other sports that are more, friendly to the body. mountain biking, as an example, is very fluid, and so it doesn't hurt my back. Growing up, my dad always invited me to go mountain biking, road biking with him, especially when I was in soccer. And when we would get on the bike, I would be like, "Yeah, sure," like, "I'll go have a fun, nice ride." And then soon enough, we would be in intervals. I was winded. You would leave me in the dust. So that's always been a sport that you have outshined the mass in, I will say, You mentioned your chronic back pain, which, if you don't mind me sharing, your scoliosis condition. How have you navigated the onset of chronic back pain and consistency of living with that? Well, I've managed it with physical therapy, with other therapies, and by staying as fit as I possibly can, within the limits of, injuring my back. So weightlifting, I go to a weight room every two or three days and lift weight, but I don't do free weights. I don't compress my spine light weights- and repetitions. What has it been like mentally to experience pain, at times on a daily basis, all throughout the day? It's, again, much of it is mental, so I just put it in the back of my mind. I often wake with some stiffness and discomfort, and by m- mid to late morning, I'm feeling Normal, with little or no pain, and I'm good for the day usually, unless I engage in a lot of activity, like chopping wood or washing dishes or, rou-routine things that can stir up the discomfort. tell us about the word provocative. This was the most unexpected one on your list of three. Provocative is maybe not the best term, because it has negative connotations, but I guess it, it seemed appropriate at the time that I came up with the three and again, I, I hope that this doesn't mean that I'm three-dimensional, that- No way there, there might be some more layers to me, to all of us. But,

Rach & David Main Video 9:49

p- p-provocative is in a humorous way. So I've often, throughout my life, said or done provocative things to promote or evoke humor, to challenge status quo, whether it be, to tiptoe on the edge of what's allowable in society and what's not, and to f- to flirt with that. That's provocative. So thinking back again to a sporting event, what I did, an example of what I did that was provocative back when I was playing tournament squash with your mother, was we played in some men's doubles tournaments in squash. And I did it because principally, your mom was my wife, and she was an excellent rackets player. However, I knew that it was gonna provoke, a negative response potentially from the old boys club. And it did. What happened? Well, one time in a Chicago tournament, a young man at the time who, who knew me but not very well- Had the audacity to call me and tease me in advance of our match with him. His name is Joe, and Joe called me and said, "Dave, that's cute that you and your wife are playing as a team." And I don't think I need to tell you what happened in the match. your mother took care of him. Oh, go Mom. Come on. I would expect nothing less. but all along, I've provoked the status quo in a way. I've chosen a path that was unconventional. It's important. Humor, lightening things up a bit, we need that these days. Although it can be challenging at this point in time, because I think the world has gotten a lot more sensitive. At least it's more likely that people are tiptoeing around each other because there's a lot of sensitivity and polarization. But we don't have to get into that. I wanna hear why you're a dreamer, how you're a dreamer. I dream mostly about sports and competition, so I always wanted to be, very good at what I did. And through the years, I really didn't have a mentor in any or many of these sports. I just had to figure it out and teach myself. but, aside from being a dreamer of sport and competition and trying to be the best all the time, e- especially as a young adult playing adult sports, amateur sports, I dreamed as a grade schooler to build things, whether it was to craft wood furniture or to build wood forts. that evolved into building a log cabin at prep school, a place to go hide and hang out in between class and other events. a lot of daydreaming during class. I'm I'm sure a lot of people can resonate with you on that one. dreaming about business pursuits. Some resulted in failures and others modest successes and, going back to the word provocative, unconventional is maybe a better word 'cause it doesn't carry the negative connotation. So in the early '80s, specifically 1980, when I got my first job out of college, I went into the solar heating business. I was hired as a marketing manager, but pretty soon it became clear that there wasn't really enough to do as a marketing manager for this little company, so I became a solar heating mechanic. So by weekday, I'd install solar heating systems with a crew, and on the weekends, we'd go promote our services at malls and public places, and try to sign contracts with people to, sell solar heating systems. And so that was unconventional in a way. It... Not necessarily in business, but, the technology. I chose a technology that was barely recognized in the community as something viable. What was next after your solar energy days? Well, unfortunately, my participation in the business only lasted about three years because the tax credits at the time really kept the industry a-afloat. And that administration passed, as all administrations do, and the tax credits went away, and there was really nothing left to stimulate the industry going forward. So I had to face reality that it wasn't in the cards, at least for the near future. I went and got an education. Again, this is after college. I applied myself in real estate investing and real estate management. More dreaming about possibilities, about building an empire. And you're building something now. Tell us what you're building- I am in our front lawn. Well- Not our, your. I don't live there anymore. I'm building a 1,500 square foot heated shop. it's a exhibition space for some old toys. a sports car, dirt bike collection, and a old nine-foot pool table. And then a portion of this heated shop is dedicated to a living space with a kitchenette bathroom and could be a studio or a sleeping space, could be an office for your mother. almost every home on acreage in Bozeman, Montana, which is where my home is, almost every property has a shop of some kind. And we don't have a shop currently, but it's, it's in the process. You were mentioning Bozeman, which I'm so grateful to have grown up there. You spent a lot of your time in Lake Forest, Chicago area. What drew you to Bozeman, Montana? 9/11 was the impetus. That's what started your mother and I, our conversation about possibilities of a life in other places, about decompressing.

Rach & David Audio 16:49

life in the Chicago suburbs was so competitive, and I'm a competitor, but I just wasn't up to that level of the financial strain, is what that was about. I was a carpenter. I was working class, living in high society, and the inequity of what was required to make a living there, it j- it just didn't add up. And after years of trying to keep up, and with 9/11 triggering our thinking, opening up our minds, our imagination about possibilities, we moved to the West and started over, and it was terrific. What are some unexpected gains to raising a family in Bozeman, Montana compared to Lake Forest, Illinois? Raising a family is probably, no matter where you are, is Always rewarding because it's going to bring new friends to the forefront. It's unavoidable. If you're going to school every few days or attending musical performances or talent shows soccer matches, you're gonna meet new friends. And so I can't say that it would be any different in Bozeman, but, what we got from Bozeman was, excellent schools and excellent education for you and your sister. And it was really stimulating to be in a community that had a major university, Montana State University. And then there was terrific growth, astronomical growth of population and infrastructure business. There's just been dirt flying in Bozeman now for 23 years, as long as we've been there, meaning that there's just construction in every direction that you look, and the population has g- grown at a terrific rate. What was it like raising two children and trying to stay grounded in who you are as an individual? I didn't really give much thought to me as an individual. It was a team. it was a marriage. A- it was a loving family it was supporting you and your sister in your endeavors at s- at school. And business and work was never something that I put ahead of family and, and fun. I applied myself at the real estate business, which was my most recent business in Bozeman. But, again, given a choice between work and play and family, I would choose family and play first. And that's hurt me to some degree. it's backfired a little bit, but, I don't regret it. I've got nothing but- Find memories and pure satisfaction coming from my choices. What do you mean about it backfiring a little bit? Will you tell us more about that? I guess I may have labeled myself an underachiever for that reason, but it was an acceptable choice that I made. That's the way I'm wired, and so I, I didn't have the s-same level of business success maybe as some of my peers. But it's all translated into a wonderful life. What was one of the hardest parts of seeing peers or other men in society taking a different approach and potentially putting money and business above family, play, fun? some of them achieved greater wealth, some of them didn't. Some of them are now passed. Maybe it led to their demise. I can't give you any examples really, but I think my instinct, my gut is telling me that, yeah, If you give it your all in business and you've been well-educated, you're gonna have possibly terrific success and terrific wealth as a result of it. And again, those were not high priorities for me. I am glad you rose this point because it's very fitting for this podcast and the message I'm trying to send. It's a bummer that, for example, you, along with many others, use the word an underachiever in association with prioritizing love, connection, family, fun, joy. Because isn't that one of the greatest achievements that most people could hope for? Right on, Rachel. Thanks for the hype, Dad. I'm serious, though. from an outsider's perspective, and from a daughter, I am forever grateful- that you prioritize those things. Because when I tell people about growing up in Bozeman and whittling sticks and getting to play imaginary friends and be in the presence of you and Mom and have that quality time, I would say that's very irreplaceable and a huge achievement. What is something you wanted to instill in your children? Fair play, sportsmanship, and go for your dreams. Go for the highest level. Visualize the greatest level of achievement for yourself. Have a mental picture of that and see yourself doing it. Are there any labels or assumptions that people in your life have had about you, whether it be when you were younger, growing up, or now? None that were spoken to my face. n- nothing derogatory that I can think of directly. But again, I'm supposing that some of my friends thought of me in the same way That I thought of myself was he's a goof-off. Doesn't apply himself academically, doesn't appear to be applying himself much in a business sense. but at the same time, I guess I had more a- admirers, if you will, than I s- thought. Like when I was a sophomore in college and I joined a fraternity, they wanted to make me the president, right away, 'cause we lacked leadership in that fraternity, and they thought I exuded leadership, so I became the president of the fraternity. I bet you got a lot of good stories from that experience. None. We'll keep the lips sealed- None w- not to disclose too much none worthy of repeating. way to slide that word in there, "worthy." How do you wanna be remembered? as a guy that had a sense of good fair play and, sportsmanlike. And I guess more recently, when I decided to be an artist representative for your grandmother, Fay Peck, again, my goal was not to go into business and sell artwork. That's not what I do, but I promote her legacy. I guess I'd like to be seen in light of my effort to promote my mother's legacy as a, an American expressionist artist, painter, and printmaker. You don't know this yet because I haven't released my first solo episode. It will have been released by the time this one comes out. But one of the questions was, Who would be your dream guest to have on the podcast?" And one of them was Fay Peck, my grandma. So you can look forward to hearing that. Excellent. I do. A wonderful woman. With great anticipation. Both of your parents are no longer with us. Will you tell us a bit about them and what it's been like to live without your parents to call? Well, Mom and Dad were both grounded, both very supportive of my unorthodox ideas, like racing dirt bikes as a 15-year-old and becoming a solar heating mechanic and s- things like that. They, they were encouraging, supportive. They were both talented at what they did, so they led by example. they demonstrated that sense of fair play, and beyond that, they were very loving. What did it feel like to lose them? Oh, devastating. D- es- especially my dad because, he died at age 78, and his leukemia came on rather quickly and took him,

Rach & David Main Video 26:09

not suddenly,

Rach & David Audio 26:10

but unexpectedly fast. And so that was, a very difficult time emotionally to see him decline so quickly and to pass on. And then certainly I didn't wanna lose my mother, but she had a little bit more life to live beyond 78. She lived until she was 85, and she was independent right up until the time she died. I remember your mother and I were camping We m- we had a fall tradition for a short time of camping on the edge of the wilderness, a short distance from the business, from the downtown part of Bozeman. So we would leave our camper up there and commute into town to work during the day and then go up and stay at the camper and cook dinner at the creekside. But what I'm getting at is that your grandmother, Fay Peck, visited us. She insisted on coming up there the week before she died to participate in this camping experience and have dinner with us next to the creekside. And, and so even when she was in serious decline, she was a fighter. And so that was A great example about how to live life was fight, fight, fight. What would you say a fulfilling life means to you? to live in a community and embrace it and support your children all along the way and, to create a strong team, home team. How long have you and Mom been married now? Since 1988. What would you say is the greatest part of marriage? Well, the good times are like frosting on the cake, and certainly it's rewarding to, to look back at that, but it's really the hardships along the way that teach you and make you more resilient as a husband and that strengthens your marriage, our marriage. And we haven't had a lot of hardship by any stretch, but the hardship that we have experienced has made us stronger, and it's kept us together, and now we have grandchildren. What is one piece of advice you would give to a newly married couple who hopes to stay married for 30-plus years? To seek out professional counsel. There's the humor, guys. to stay true to your vows. It's as simple as that. As we get close to the end I'm curious what this experience in the podcast guest seat has been like for you. It's been hot. No, it's been lovely. it's been really enjoyable, and easier than I thought to express myself on camera. Is there anything I haven't asked you or you haven't shared that is an important part of who you are? Well, I've been very deliberate over the decades about maintaining friendships, about extending myself, whether it be through the written word, through phone calls. And when I say the written word, I mean writing on stationery, writing to people, through the US Postal Service. a- and certainly texting and emailing's important, too, to maintain an open line of communication. But, again, it's just more about letting old friends, new friends know that you're there, that you're there for them, that you're open to meeting for a cup of coffee, or if you're at a distant location, you can talk them down off the edge. And, to support that notion, I'm hosting a 70th birthday party for a couple dozen of my old friends this summer in Bozeman. and that's just a way to bring us all back together and celebrate our, our time together, our friendship. How does it feel to be turning 70 this year? Ouch. It hurt- Hey, you brought it up. I wasn't gonna say anything it hurts. Is that it hurts physically, metaphorically- A, a little bit all the above? A little bit. It, it's profound. Say more about that. it's a profound Birthday, every decade seems profound as they come. but, with me being on the backside of, a hundred-year life cycle, if you will, and it's silly for me to throw that out there, but yeah, everybody wants to live to 100, or at least many people do. it gets real as you approach your later decades. And there's little or no fear in that. It's just some reluctance, some apprehension. But I still continue to do all or most of the things I wanna do: travel, play sports, ride dirt bikes, act like a teenager sometimes. It's important. You've done a lot of travel in your lifetime. you spent what was it? Six weeks traveling through Europe and Asia. Correct me if I'm wrong. Will you tell us one of your favorite places that you went or a story to go along with it? not Asia. Okay. I did travel for seven weeks, I believe, with friends traveling on a Eurail pass through Europe. And I would say that the most exciting part was in Scandinavia, and that was because my forefathers came from Norway, from Oslo, Norway. My grandfather was a immigrant at age six, came over on the boat from Oslo, and so it was really exciting to visit Oslo, Norway and to see Bergen and see the fjords. And I can picture myself in some of the activities back in 1979. That would've been immediately after graduating college. and my last stop would've been in Corfu, Greece, and that was a hoot, sleeping on the beach and, eating Greek food. Baklava. Oh, yeah. Those are so yummy. Did you expect me to be in this podcasting world? Well, I'm not surprised because you were making movements in this direction, I think. it, But I didn't expect you to be the captain of your college soccer team either, or that you would've been working for the British government for a year in Great Britain. Two years. Two years. there's much that I didn't necessarily expect from you that you've achieved or accomplished, so I'm, I'm pleased but not surprised. To finish up, for fun, what three words come to mind to describe me? Committed, dedicated, studious. Love it. Okay. David Peck is sporty, provocative, and a dreamer. Thank you everyone for tuning in for this father-daughter episode. This is Unmasked", a Beyond Worthy podcast. My name is Rachel Peck.