Trusting Your Intuition: Onima on Self-Trust, Awareness & Letting Go of Labels

Beyond achievements, Onima considers herself curious, orderly, and sensual. She is currently pursuing her master's degree in Psychology with a focus in Spirituality, Mind, and Body at Teachers College, Columbia University. In this episode, she starts by sharing how she needs both external and internal order to feel at peace and how structure helps her hold spirituality’s “gray” areas. Rachel and Onima unpack identity and language, including Onima’s guiding quote, “When you define yourself, you limit yourself,” and how labels like being “the smart one” once created pressure around school and career choices. Onima defines intuition as awareness and explains different ways people receive intuitive information through the “claires,” plus tools like synchronicities, oracle cards, and a simple body-based choice exercise. They also discuss social media and AI as distractions that can weaken self-trust, and Onima shares why fashion feels like sensual, intuitive creative expression and encourages listeners to drop limiting labels and follow what they’re drawn to.

Transcript

Rachel & Onima 0:01

Hi, friends Welcome to Unmasked. Whether you are a returner or new, grateful you are here tuning in We will start with a bit of a grounding exercise before I introduce our guest today. So just take a minute to pause Give yourself the space to be present. If that means closing your eyes Lowering our gaze Do whatever serves you And just breathe take This moment and just send some appreciation to your body, your heart, yourself And then we'll make a start when you're ready Lovely Onima

Onima & Rach pre_edit-1 0:51

Hey

Rachel & Onima 0:52

Welcome, welcome. Thank you for being here. I'm so excited to be here and be part of this. Everyone I told that you were coming on the show, they were like, "Oh, incredible." "She's gonna be great." I was like, "I know." Wow, okay. Yes. Onima, everyone is a fan of you. That's so nice. I always start by jumping into how you would describe yourself outside of what you're studying, what your work might be, who your parents are So will you tell us the three words you chose- Mm-hmm and expand on them as much as you'd like? Yeah. I think I told you before we got in the studio that the first thing that came to mind when I saw that prompt was a quote that I live by, which is, "When you define yourself, you limit yourself." And so by coming up with three words, I struggled because I didn't want to define myself. I like feeling open to whatever energy I'm drawn to embody or maybe even need to embody to achieve my dreams or finish a task. So I struggled a little, but- Apologies. But I did come up with the three words of the moment, the first was curious. I I do think that word extends beyond just the present moment. It's something that I've related to really my whole life. Um, just being curious about learning more than the superficial fact or three words about anything. I'm always diving deep, pulling out my phone during conversations saying, "Wait, is that true? Let's look into that. I have follow-up questions." So I've always been very curious. The second word is orderly. for me, that word really embodies just how organized I am about everything and how I feel very passionate about taking a lot of these very ethereal concepts that we learn as being part of SMBI, Spiritual Mind Body Institute, and grounding them into very practical and straightforward and simple concepts. So I find I rely on my orderliness to do that. So orderly. And then the last word, um, not to be taken the wrong way is sensual, which actually just means satisfying to the senses. And so I derive a lot of pleasure from things that are satisfying to the senses, whether that is coming to your living room, Rachel, and seeing a cohesive color palette, or listening to a musician in the subway who is just excellent at the saxophone, right? Not just playing to get money, but really talented at what he is doing and, um, or just appreciating like a beautiful flower. So I really felt that sensual really embodied that. Hearing you take appreciation for a flower reminds me of a moment I had a couple years ago where I was living on autopilot- Mm-hmm and just in a place of head down, unaware of my body moving through space And one day I smelled a flower and I was like, "Oh my gosh." Yeah. "I haven't smelled a flower in so long." Mm-hmm. And from then on, my goal has been to be so aware of my surroundings and to take note of those things that matter. Yeah. There's so much in a flower. There's so much beauty. There's so much that it can offer you that so many people, just don't take the time to stop and smell the flowers. Your word orderly surprised me. How do you deal with disorder in your life? Oh, man. I can't. I can't handle it. I can't deal. I mean, even in my house, like right now I've been on campus all day and my boyfriend's at home, and when I go home, I'm gonna have to spend at least five minutes putting everything back in order until I can really, like, drop my shoulders and be home. So, you know, it might be a little on the OCD side. It's, it's quite, like I cannot relax without having things in order. So it's for my peace of mind. But that then extends to, I feel an empathy for others when they come across these spiritual concepts that are not given in a very orderly fashion. I can empathize with kind of being lost in the sauce, because I can so easily get lost in the sauce. So that's why I feel really passionate about grounding these concepts in order, because it helps me make sense of them and have peace with them, and I hope others will feel that as well. Is there a difference between internal disorder and external disorder for you? So you just spoke of your environment. Yeah. When it's disorderly- Mm-hmm you're like, "Okay, gotta fix this." Yeah. Is that the same when you sense internal disorder? Yeah. Okay. For sure. I would say it's both internal and external, a feeling of discomfort. So internally, that can look like If I'm dealing with a conflict with someone and it hasn't come to some sort of conclusion or points that we can work through and come back to if that's not really clear I'll feel that discomfort in my body and I'll want to... A lot of times how I deal with it is I sit in the shower for whatever reason. That's like my peaceful place where I can just think. I don't know, maybe it's a Cancer thing. But I'll need to take a moment to just organize everything out. "Okay, that person, I remember he said this was an issue, this was an issue, and he didn't really point to it, but I definitely heard him say something along the lines of this. I wanna make sure to take note of that. Cool. I have it now. One, two, three. Great." It's just how I operate. Which when you think about spirituality Mm-hmm is quite the opposite. It's funny, isn't it? Fascinating. Yeah. Yeah. And you make me think of myself when I was younger. I loved math. Obsessed. Black and white answer, yes or no, no if, ands, or buts. Mm-hmm. And I hated questions that were word problems. Like Going into something around that felt less tangible- Yeah was really hard for me. Yeah. Then fast-forward, here we are in this spirituality program. We have philosophical conversations. Mm-hmm. That there's no black and white. It's a lot of gray area. A lot of gray. A lot of gray. I find that my making order of the gray is just creating a space to hold it. Because without having some sort of structure to hold that, what might seem like chaos, that's what I can't deal with. If I have some sort of scaffolding to navigate this with, that's where I find order. So it's a way to allow the gray. I'm not trying to make it black and white by any means. I mean, you're gonna lose it if you do that. Not lose it crazy wise, but like, you're going to lose what is so potent about all of this philosophy that we're learning. But at least to have some sort of structure where I can, I can sit with and practice it. That's the order part to me I'd love to go back to something you referenced at the beginning, which was how challenging it was for you to choose three words. Mm-hmm. Because you don't like to define yourself. Yeah. Will you tell us more about where that comes from? Has that always been the case? Um, I think I just heard that quote pretty early on in my spiritual journey, and I was like, "Wow, isn't that just true?" And that quote, I think, is such a great way of exemplifying what I speak about when I say, what is a structure to hold the gray? So that quote is my structure. When you define yourself, you limit yourself. That is some- a one sentence that I can live by that brings awareness to how I live my life. Okay, in this moment, I'm deciding to be creative, and I'm going to be creative right now, and I've picked something, right? I've gone from gray to black. I'm being creative right now. But at any moment, I can remind myself to define yourself is to limit yourself, and step back from that and enter the gray again. Okay, that was great that I was creative in that moment. That doesn't make me a so-called creative person. I can still be, um, studious. I can still be maybe aloof if I feel that that's what I wanna do after all of this creative effort. I have the freedom to be in the gray I feel like I could end this podcast now. Bars, we're done. That encapsulated so much of the point I'd hoped to get across- Yeah in terms of identity- Mm-hmm and how we confine ourselves- Right in life to roles that we pick up, and the way we speak about who we are. Mm-hmm. That's one thing. Language feels really important. Yeah. For example, when I was younger, I remember I was a terrible reader. Mm-hmm. I was failing reading comprehension in elementary school, and I I would always say, "I am not a reader." Mm. And then one day I was like, "I can be a reader." Yeah. And it was simply the language shift. Mm-hmm. Not that I am a reader or I am not a reader. Yeah. I read. Yeah. I'm grateful I know how to read. Exactly. And I can do it. Yeah. Is there any label that you have carried with you in life prior to being so wise- around identity that either held you back- Hmm or moved you forward? I do remember around the time I was in college, even before, I mean, this is a label I've had since I was young, which is being smart, the smart one. And I remember how the smart one, there was a pressure to go to college, go to grad school, do the whole scholastic journey, right? Probably even get my PhD. There was an expectation. And bless my parents, it didn't come from them. They were very supportive of whatever I decided to do. But it was there. It's hard to even say. I mean, maybe because I was smart, my teachers would always remark, my parents would remark, my whole family would remark, and I think there was that expectation perhaps from society. "Ah, you're the smart one, so obviously this is what smart people do." So when I decided to not go to grad school after college, I remember feeling a dissonance and feeling that I was doing something wrong and feeling like I was really throwing myself into the unknown. Mm, and that was scary But I had to trust what I'm gonna call my intuition that that was not the path for me, even though I was the smart one, and that doing things that aren't associated with being the smart one, like working a service job, working as a waitress, um, was the thing that I needed to do at the time. And I mean, here we are 10 years later, and it was absolutely the thing I needed to do at the time. I'm so thankful I listened to my intuition, and that I'm here at grad school, funny enough, um, now. But it is different in... I've come back to grad school now not to fulfill an expectation, but to fulfill something that feels authentic, to fulfill an authentic draw to learn. Like I said, I'm very curious. So that's authentic. Being here to learn from Dr. Lisa Miller, for example, that to me is amazing, and there's no one pushing me to be here. that ship sailed a long time ago, right? People have already decided that, "Onima's crazy. She's doing her thing," right? So I'm definitely here for myself, and that's amazing. Really important. Mm-hmm. Let's talk intuition, shall we? My favorite topic. Yes. This is your wheelhouse. Mm-hmm. Could you start by telling us what intuition is to you? Mm. Intuition to me is awareness. And so what I say is there's information everywhere, always. We are constantly receiving information, and so it's just about being able to recognize what that looks like and then acting on it Do you think everyone's form of intuition is the same? Yes and no Just such a spiritual answer. Of course. Yes, both. It depends. Yes. Um, I think being aware is a concept that everybody can grasp, but how they exercise that awareness is different for everyone. I think the best way to describe it is along the lines of the psychic claires. So have you heard of this? Or at least for the audience- No there are five claires, is what they call them. In other words, five ways of sensing. And so we're very familiar with sensing with our five senses, eyes, nose, mouth, ears. But there is a sixth sense, what people understand as well as intuition, the sixth sense, to be able to pick up on information that is beyond the five senses. I'm here to say the five senses are also a way to get information, but there's the sixth sense that you can cultivate. And so there are sort of five flavors of that, the five claires. So you have claircognizant, which is just when you know something, something just drops into your mind. You have clairsentient, which is what I am, which is when I sense something, and my challenge is putting words to a sensation Another one is clairaudience. When you hear something, some people just hear words whispered in their ears. Be careful Right? Um, let's see. Cognizant, sentience, audience, and then there's some that are also more rare but still possible. I don't know what they're called, but it involves the nose and tasting And so everybody has a stronger inclination towards one of these five. So that's where it can get a little different, where I can teach you clairsentience, and everyone's able to do it, but you might be stronger in claircognizance, and you cultivating that is going to serve you greater than you cultivating mine, which is clairsentience So knowledgeable. I'm gonna look into this. Yeah. Gotta figure out what mine is. Have you always been intuitive yourself? No. Hell no. that's what drives me to figure it out. I mean, figure it out is a really strong, a strong goal. But, um, what really inspired me to learn about intuition was because I couldn't feel it. Because when I was young, my parents were part of this spiritual healing group, and they would tell me things like, "Listen to your intuition. Your intuition will point the way. Follow your heart." And I was like, "That is not helping. my intuition is not helping me with this issue, with this choice. I don't get it. How do I find it? This voice right now telling me not to do this thing, is that fear? Is that intuition? What's up?" And so it was in that frustration that I started walking down this path of trying to really understand it, and more importantly, embody it and practice it. So yeah, I was not intuitive in the beginning. I know this is a huge part of what you're working on in grad school right now- Mm-hmm with workshops related to intuition, among many other things that I am excited to learn about one day. You clearly are well-equipped with channeling your own intuition. What are tools that work for you to tap into that voice or sensation? Hmm. Okay, I have a few. Please. A few come to mind. One that I think has become more mainstream and that people have a lot of fun with is synchronicities. So that can look like angel numbers or, animals coming to you with messages. I've gotten really clear with the universe and I tell... I told them, I said, "If you're gonna send me numbers, here is my graph. This is what one means, two means, three means. I will be referring to this graph for information. So if you wanna send me messages, sh- this is what I'll be looking at." And that has worked really well, I find, when you can, again, create structure to this kind of wacky world. So yeah, synchronicities is an interesting way to play with receiving information from whatever you wanna call that, greater power, force, energy. Which we have to be aware of and listening to. Yeah, totally. You, you, you probably won't even notice it if you don't have some kind of belief that you're being talked to. 'Cause you might say, "Oh, wow, I just saw something that really made me double-take, something that has significance, but I'm making that up. That's a coincidence. That means nothing." It's because we have some sort of belief that we hold that symbol with us to mean something, and then how is that relevant to our life, and looking at it in that way. Another way, another tool that comes to mind are, um, oracle cards. So that was really the way that I cultivated my clairsentience- When you read Oracle cards compared to tarot, tarot has a very specific meaning for each card. And so anyone can pick up a tarot deck with a booklet, put some cards out, look at the booklet, and card A is going to mean this, B will mean this, C will mean this. With Oracle cards, it's much more open to interpretation, and they are just symbols that will communicate something to you if you're open to it. So I can pull the same Oracle card five days in a row, but I might be attracted to different symbols in that card every day, and those symbols will convey a different message. So when you start to cultivate being drawn to the symbols and not thinking-- Again, you have to put the doubt aside. "I'm drawn to the fire, okay, because the fire is the thing in the middle of this card." No. Today you're drawn to the fire. What is that? What is the fire telling you? How does the fire relate to your life right now? The more you do it, the more you strengthen, you create like a trust muscle because you start to see, "Okay, this card yesterday meant this, but today I'm really drawn to the bird that I didn't even see yesterday that's in the corner. What's that about? What's this bird trying to tell me?" Right? And I've read cards for countless people at this point, and so I really started to recognize, wow, you know, I only have 88 cards, but I see that people have taken different messages and meanings from the same card. What is that? That just goes to show, okay, there's something pulling me to that imagery. What is that sense? Where does it live in my body? And just starting to recognize that. So those were the two sort of tools that I learned about at the beginning that were really helpful Another one I remember you actually leading me through. Which I think could be really helpful to people who aren't as spiritual. Totally. I know what you're gonna say. We were at a birthday brunch for a friend. Mm-hmm. Classic me, no idea what I wanna eat. Mm-hmm. Like, just stressing about what to choose. And I was like, "Man, do I get the breakfast burrito or the pancakes?" And Onima was like, "Okay, this is what we're gonna do. Close your eyes." Mm-hmm And I'm gonna describe each to you. And she goes in depth- Mm-hmm describing the flavor, the smells of each decision. Yeah. Each breakfast option. The salsa in the burrito, or do you want the fluffy eggs? Exactly. Mm-hmm. And as soon as we finished, I was like, "All right, it's the burrito. Game over." Yeah. I don't think you needed to finish it. Yeah. But it's, we're laughing. It's a really simple way of taking a second- Mm-hmm to listen- Yeah and turn inward in simple moments. Yeah. Choosing a place to eat, choosing what to have on the menu. Mm-hmm. Going to this coffee shop versus this one, and being like, what do I want? Yeah. And it, the answer is often clear when you listen. Yeah, and more than that, when you take that moment to listen, similar to the cards, you're gonna recognize being drawn to something. Why were you drawn to the burrito- that day, right? That's, like, such a specific sensation. It wasn't a very logical, like, "Well, I like burritos," or, "Burritos are more healthy, so I'm gonna pick them." It was like, "I f- I just want that burrito. Mm, I am drawn to it today." That, that's intuition So next time you're at a breakfast place, close your eyes- Yeah bring Onima- into your head and feel it out. You guys got this. Yeah. We all do. Yeah. I mean, A big reason why I continue to walk this path is because I really believe that the more that you cultivate your intuition, you feel a sense of ease about life. Like, being drawn to come to grad school as someone who's 31 is not the easy thing to do, right? I'm putting off making money. I could just be well on my way in some other career right now. And grad school itself is very difficult. It's, it's not about the easy option, but when you listen to that voice that draws you and you honor it, there is a sense of ease that you enjoy in your life. It's like a satisfaction. It's like, this isn't easy, but I feel so satisfied in my life doing this. And that's what I hope that others will feel when they embrace intuition more. It also builds self-trust. Yeah. Totally. That's something I'm noticing a lot right now with AI, is that people are so quick to ask AI for a second opinion instead of trusting themselves. Like, "Is this email going to convey what I wanna convey?" And look, I'm guilty as well, right? "Please check my grammar," and Like, I'm scared that I'm sending this to, like, some professor I really respect. I want it to sound good. But you are relinquishing your internal compass to say, "You know what? This sounds right. This is good. My voice is clear here." You're just doing whatever AI says. "Okay, AI rewrote it. I'm just gonna copy and paste without a second thought." People... I, I think if people aren't careful, they're gonna start losing their, what I'm gonna call inner authority, which is in line with their intuition So true Not only the reliance on this other mechanical voice- Mm-hmm AI, also the distraction that comes from being on our phones, texting AI. Being on Instagram, scrolling through TikTok, moving through the world with that lack of awareness that I had before I smelled the flower- Yeah is another really scary way that we're tuning out our inner authority and our inner voice. Totally. One of the things, once I start doing my workshops, that I wanna encourage participants to do is, like, three months of no social media. When I did that, I recognized that I have an inner creativity. So for me, I was going on Instagram a lot for inspiration for fashion. I love fashion. Fashionista over here. And I was looking to the influencers on Instagram for what's gonna look good. And so when I stopped using Instagram and just started opening my closet and just staring into the abyss, right? I was surprised to find, "Oh, I'm really drawn to this shirt today, and I actually think this shirt's gonna look really cool with these pants." And I made my favorite outfits to this day in those three months. So again, people just... It's in them. They have just forgotten because they keep looking outside of themselves for answers. I would add when we're looking to media for what to wear, how to move in the world, what career to take on next, what to eat, we start living someone else's narrative. Mm-hmm. Which brings us back to identity and knowing who we are and ultimately what matters. Mm-hmm. If someone stood in front of you Who didn't care about intuition is like, "I don't believe you." Yeah. I know those people. Not that you need to convince anyone- Mm-hmm but what would you say, in short, as to how it would enhance their life Yeah, I mean, I think it's empowering to be able to rely and trust on yourself and your wisdom, and to stop seeking that outside of you. I think the more you practice, you know, to these people what we'll call self-trust, but what I know is intuition Yeah, just the more powerful you feel, the more assured you feel in the steps you're taking Because I feel like what trips people up and what is the root of a lot of suffering is the fear, is the doubt that emerges inevitably on the path. And so if they can have that self-trust, man, you start feeling that fear and doubt, let me tell you, less and less. And like I said, it's powerful, but for me it really translates as ease and peace. And who doesn't want that? I do. What scares you the most about being on this path? I mean, I think what other people are scared of, which is... And, and rightfully so, right? I'm still human. I still need to feed myself and make money, and I worry if people are gonna value what I'm teaching, value intuition, value spirituality. It's becoming more and more valuable, which is amazing and encouraging. Um, but I still think it has, uh, a connotation of being not valuable, not scientific, definitely. not grounded in research, and so not worth my time. I worry about that from time to time. But like I said, my, my trust muscle is pretty strong. It can bench quite a bit these days. So I have just really seen to believe that if I can just continue to follow what I'm drawn to, it's gonna, it's gonna lead me somewhere where, like it's not gonna be easy, but I'm going to feel fulfilled. And that to me is Like, you can't put a price on that Incredible. You've mentioned fashion a couple times too. Which as we wrap up- Mm-hmm how do you think, uh, fashion ties into who you are? Why do you like it? I think fashion is just creative expression. Like I said, I, I think I'm a sensual person, so I just really get pleasure out of the details. And that goes as far as even people who I might not share that style, but I still appreciate their creative expression. I just love that fashion is a, a tool to do that. You're in a melting pot for fashion. Mm-hmm. New York. It's so fun. I love it. It's incredible. I will say the city really allows for people to express themselves in that way. Yes. It's so far from being confining. Yeah. I just look at everyone and I'm like, "Yeah, you look cool." And they're wearing the most exotic thing that I could never dream of. Yeah. I mean, I would say those people are really in touch with their intuition, and it's really refreshing to see Well, I hope that you'll come back because We

Onima & Rach Audio 36:16

we could unpack many more things. Is there anything else that comes to mind that you would wanna leave us with around identity, worthiness, labels- intuition? No pressure. Yeah. I'm thinking about a conversation we had earlier today That resonated a lot and, mm, is related to your question, which is that like don't let the labels stop you from whatever you're drawn to. So if you are drawn to being a monk living in India your whole life, but your family and society has put labels on you to be successful and you're the smart one, by all means, please drop those and go do what you're drawn to. There is a reason, and I would bet money that if you were to follow that, you would find fulfillment and peace What a wonderful way to end. Onima, thank you so much. Thank you. That was so fun. Such a great conversation. Onima, her three words are curious, orderly, and sensual. We'll see everyone next time, and thank you again