How to Exit a Bad Call Gracefully: Setting Boundaries in Partnership Conversations

Ever found yourself stuck on a call that doesn’t feel right? In this episode of Partnerships on Purpose, we dive into the uncomfortable but necessary skill of knowing when and how to end a misaligned conversation. From real-life experiences to practical strategies, we break down how to trust your instincts, protect your time, and maintain professionalism, even when things feel off. 

We also explore how proper vetting, clear communication, and strong boundaries can make or break your partnership efforts. You’ll learn simple ways to wrap up calls gracefully, avoid overcommitting, and stay aligned with your values while still leaving the door open for future connection. If you’ve ever struggled to end a call or felt drained by the wrong conversations, this episode will give you the clarity and confidence to handle them with ease.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:54

All right. Welcome back, everybody. We're here, partnerships on purpose. And the topic today is, I'm going to say, a little difficult for a lot of people to talk about and to manage. But this last week, this has come up a couple times for me. So the topic is today, today is about how we get off of a call that we don't want to be on. So this has come up. I don't know, Anry, thousands of calls. How many? I don't even know how many partnership connections. Thousands. I mean, I'm not like a sales setter and closer. Like I'm not on the sales team, but I would say we mimic a sales process. We need to talk to people, we need to make sure they're a good fit. We do all of this stuff. We've had thousands and thousands of calls. And we have a process where we vet as much as we possibly can, right? Like we message people, we check them out online, we're we're asking for referrals because we know referrals are a really, really great way to get vetted contacts. But sometimes you get somebody on your calendar and you're like, yeah, let's just have a chat. Let's just talk. And if that person is not aligned with you, you're gonna feel it and it's gonna feel so weird. So inside of the pop circle, we kind of opened this up with our members this week. And we thought we would bring it here to the podcast, talk a little bit about it, give our thoughts, our advice, and then also just open up the floor. Like, has this happened to you before? And then maybe give you a little bit of um, I don't know, permission. If you need permission to get off a call early, uh, people's time is so valuable, so valuable. It doesn't matter what you're doing. So there's this idea of permission. So here I'm gonna set a stage of an actual scenario that happened this week, and then we're gonna open it up and what we told our members, okay? So I had vetted a contact, a new contact to me. Um, we do outreach on LinkedIn. Absolutely love LinkedIn. If you're not connected with us, please find us. We post stuff there all the time. DM, we we will chat you up. So I do outreach there, Ann Ray does outreach there, and I found a contact who was like, okay, and they they started talking to me, like having good conversation back, not like flat line answers, but actually talking about my profile. Oh, I see you live here. Like they were engaging, and I was like, this is awesome. Okay, great. Yeah, let's chat it up, let's figure it out. And we went along the way, and she was like, Oh, maybe we should schedule a call. And I was like, Yes, I was gonna say the same thing. Maybe we should schedule a call. And she sends me the link to her booking page, and I was like, awesome, no problem. And I'm going along the booking page, I'm going along the booking page, and we asked several questions on our booking page. That's how we vet people too, right? We want to know who we're talking to. I don't have a problem if people ask questions at all. One of the questions that came up was are all the decision makers going to be on this call? And if not, will you invite them? All the decision makers in my business? You want them on a connection call the first time we've ever talked? Now, in our partnership world, that's not how we do things, right? We're talking about long-term strategic partnerships. So, anyway, has this ever happened to you, Inri? Have you ever had it?

SPEAKER_00 4:17

Absolutely, absolutely. Yeah, of course, of course. I usually take it a step further and just, you know, ask more questions, but yeah, it definitely has happened. And trust your instinct. If you know something's off, follow your gut.

SPEAKER_01 4:32

Follow your gut. All right. So follow us along on this beautiful story of mine. So I see this and I'm kind of like, you know, I don't think so. I see this question, and I'm like, nope, that's a red flag for me. I'm not gonna get on call. So I go back to said lady and I'm like, hey, I see that you're asking for all the decision makers. I'm not open to buying anything. I would love to chat with you about a partnership, collaboration, how can we work together? That's what we're about. Let's have a chat, see what's going on. And she's like, no, no, no, no, it's not a sales call. It's not a sales call. And I was like, okay. So are you gonna remove the question? And she's like, Yes, yes. The team has updated the form. And I was like, okay, wonderful. So I go back in because I'm like, all right, I'm in a You made her remove the question from her form.

SPEAKER_00 5:14

You didn't tell me that. Oh my goodness. Okay, you go.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

Oh no, I'm not playing. I'm not playing. Okay, people take these forms very seriously, right? It's in my form.

SPEAKER_00 5:22

Yeah, we do too.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

We do too.

SPEAKER_00 5:23

Yeah, yeah, no, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 5:25

So I'm like, I'm not, no, not gonna happen. So I go back into the form and it's still there. And I say, per our conversation in LinkedIn, I'm not here to buy anything. But if you would like to connect, have good conversations, see what kind of synergies are there, let's do it. And I schedule a call. And so the call comes up, and I'm like, okay, no problem. I'm gonna get a gone. We've already had this conversation in LinkedIn, she understands who I am. She, like I assume, she would have looked over my profile before she got on the call, right? Because we do this, we talk about it.

SPEAKER_00 5:59

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 6:00

We look how many times have we trained people inside of our community? Yeah, prepare for yourself. What are you asking for?

SPEAKER_00 6:06

Yeah, like all look over the form, look over their LinkedIn profile, look if you've had any past conversations with them. What was your email exchange? Where did you meet them?

SPEAKER_01 6:17

Who introduced you? How do they know them? Can you tell anything about where they live? Like, it's all about relationship building, right? We're in relationship, relationship-driven marketing. So we're thinking the way that we think, and I'm like, okay, she would have looked at my call, like, give it two minutes beforehand. We're not talking like a dissertation, like level deep dive into somebody, but you want to look at their form that they submitted.

unknown 6:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:40

So anyway, I'm getting on the call. I'm like, all right, so great. I looked at this lady overall. I think it'd be really cool. She's got a cool audience, it's gonna be the right fit. She's got our people. She gets on and she's like, okay, so tell me why you booked this call.

SPEAKER_00 6:53

And I'm like, Oh, oh no.

SPEAKER_01 6:56

Um, well, we had a full-on conversation in LinkedIn about this, why we're why I'm here and what I'm here for. And I and I was like, you know, I did get a chance to look at your your website. I did watch the video that you sent me. I kind of know a little bit about your offer. I would love to hear more. And she grills me on all these different pieces of why am I here? How is my business? Partnerships don't work. I've tried it so many times. I meet people all the time how this doesn't work and that doesn't work. And I'm like, um, it's working for us. And I'm like, it's working for us actually pretty well. We we enjoy having conversations. We are, it is a long sales cycle, I'll say that, right? We do want to create long-term strategic partnerships. That doesn't happen overnight. So, yeah, if you're looking for a quick win, and maybe this lady was, then no, this isn't for you. I get that. And I'm like, I just want to hear a little bit about your audience and and if you're inside of, you know, are you interested in partnerships? Do you do that at all? And she was like, No, never. We don't do it. I used to. And I'm like, okay. So in this moment, I'm like five minutes into this call, being like, all that happened in five minutes. All this happens in five minutes because I've already had some background for anyway. Five minutes in, and I'm like, I think I'm in the wrong place. I'm on the wrong call, and I've got this call book for 45 minutes. Oh, another thing. So, okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:19

Hold on before 30 minutes max. For those of you who are listening, 30 minutes. First call, 30 minutes. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 8:26

30 minutes. You can get what you need. Plenty of time. You can get what you need. And if people say otherwise, please bring it to us, put it in the chat. We would love to discuss. Come to a little chat with us. We'll talk to you about why 30 minutes is just enough time to really set the stage. So I booked this call for 45 minutes. I'm five minutes in. This lady is grilling me obviously hard sales. Like, you need to get this thing. I've never seen this work. How is that actually working? What is the conversion rate? What is the ROI? Do your people actually ever get their money back from here? And I'm like, okay. So in my most professional space, I was like, you know, I hear what you're saying. I super love this. And I want to make sure that we're on the right page. I would love to chat with you about your business and what you do. And if there's some people I can refer to you because we do relationship-driven marketing and we would love to introduce you to some people. Do you do partnerships in here? She gives me a straight no, but then continues to ask me about my business and how am I actually making money because it never works. And so I'm like, okay. So somewhere around 10 minutes in, I was like, actually, I'm gonna stop you right there. I'm done. This feels weird. I said to her on this call. I'm like, this feels weird. I'm done. And I kind of was like, I'm closing the call now on you. It was so awkward and funny and nasty. And I was just like, holy moly! I sent a voice message to Anne-Marie right after, and I was like, you cannot believe what the just happened to me. This is crazy town. This hasn't happened to me. And I was getting all shaken up because I was like, This doesn't happen to me. I have good conversations with thousands of people, and I love it. I absolutely love it. And so I had to like sit back and just look at it. And then I was thinking, this is what happens a lot of times to our members. They don't know how to manage the call the right way. They're worried about telling somebody, hey, this is not a good fit, we need to be done. They haven't vetted enough in the beginning, and that's why they look at partnerships and say it doesn't work. Work, they're not following the right process and system. And so, yeah, anyway, okay, so that's my story. Inri, if you want to step in, tell a little bit about our member and how we had we had some conversations this week with our members.

SPEAKER_00 10:44

Like now, I just want people, I just want to be clear. This is like the extreme case. This is the extreme case, this is the extreme case. Yes, we're absolutely what why it's so fitting for for the podcast today. Yes, but most of the time it doesn't happen like this, but it does happen, right? So now we're at a point where you've done a bit of vetting, you've gotten on a call, um, you've probably you go into it, you share, you know, what each other does, and you're not feeling a fit for whatever reason. You're asking the questions you need to ask, um, and you feel like it's not a fit. So what do you do? Right. Um, and this is exactly what happened to um one of the members in our community. And she was like, I don't know how to get off a call, right? And the thing, um, you know, Marie and I have similar tactics, but we also do it in different ways. Um, usually I will know the first 10 minutes in. I usually let the person start. I'm like, you tell me about yourself, because then what happens is I've already made up my mind or I know where I'm going with the call, um, probably five or 10 minutes in, which is usually the amount of time it'll take them to talk about their business. Now, the other important question is, and we have it in our form, but sometimes I always ask, do you have partnerships as part of your business model? Very important question, because then you know where you're going. Um, for whatever reason, if it doesn't work out, right? If they're like, no, I don't have a list, I don't have an offer, I just started my business, and for some reason that wasn't what we understood. We got on a call. Um, I would probably say you still introduce yourself. You still take the time to tell people, this is what I do, this is who I serve, these are my offers. Um, but then you wrap it up. Um, I usually wrap it up by saying, Great, um this is what I think we should do. You let me know your thoughts. How about we touch base in three months or six months? Right? Let's see where you're at. Let's see if you've progressed, you know, if they're not where they need to be, let's see where you are. Let's have another coffee chat. Um, and then I also open the door, like you said, and can I make some introductions for you? Right. Um, I think it's a great way to end the call because you're you're ending it on a positive note. Um, and then I'm just like, does that make sense to you? And usually they'll say yes. And then you're able to nicely wrap up the call and you know, update your database. And if you feel like there's some potential in there, you could absolutely follow up in three to six months. Um, but that would be the way that I would close it. Um so very different from your experience. I hope that nobody listening to our podcast today actually has to say, I'm out, like it's done. And you but that that's the way that I would wrap it up. And there's nothing wrong with that. Um, I think in partnerships or on any call, it's better to be honest than to uh, and and I think we talked about that in our past episode. And if we didn't, we should have uh an episode on that about just being transparent and saying, I think this is gonna work or I think it's not gonna work, right? Um, usually when it works, you're putting together a deal. You're talking about what does the future look like in this collaborationslash partnership. When it doesn't work, you're usually saying, All right, well, it was great, let's reconnect and let's possibly make some introductions. Right. And that's kind of the way you close it. Yeah. So yeah, I think there were some good pointers. I think um the member in our community is like, okay, I got it, you know? Um, and didn't feel the need because you the last thing you want to do is tell somebody, oh my God, yeah, it's great, you know, let's do something. And then you get off a call and you're like, oh my, oh my god, what what what do I have to do? Now I have to do an email. And you're right, Marie. At the end of the day, that's why partnerships don't work, right? Because people are not being true and honest on the call. It's the best thing you could do, right? It's not gonna work, it's not a good fit.

SPEAKER_01 14:53

Overall, I mean, we have a deep down need and want and desire in the world to give you permission to protect your audience. That's what you're doing in partnerships, and you need to be truthful and do what you say you're gonna do. This is huge in our community. Do what you say you're gonna do, which is what Amory was just saying, right? Like, if you don't think it's gonna work, set it up as best as you can, or don't, because you are the person who's putting your name behind promoting somebody's work or getting on their stage and and connecting with them, or you know, being inside of their membership and training their people. Like there's so many ways to set up really amazing visibility deals, but you are putting your name behind this other person and Jason and with them, and like you are connected now to that person, and all of those things are fine, and we've done it thousands of times for people for most of the cases, but if you are not a hundred percent behind somebody, then you shouldn't do it. And I think that's the biggest thing is intuition is huge. We give our we talk about this inside the membership so much, like it's about the mindset of it. You have to follow your gut. And when I was on this call with this lady this week, it my gut was just like, this is not the right thing. Like I could have said, like, hey, yeah, maybe we'll follow up again later. But I'm just like a hard no, thank you. No, thank you. And it's up to me to say that. Like it's up to me to be like, nope, it's not good.

SPEAKER_00 16:23

And you knew that before you even got on the call, right? And those are the signs to look for, you know. Um, often I will, you know, as we're reaching out to people, um, I always include my team always includes my booking link, right? Like, here's my booking link. Feel free to book a call. I know the minute somebody comes back to me and says, Hey, do you mind using my booking link? That's already a red flag for me. There's no reason why you cannot use my booking link, right? So I'm like, okay, red flag. Now where are we going with this? And usually it's because they're in a time zone that is really off to mine, right? So I'm like looking at their availability and it's two o'clock in the morning. But then it's just impossible to book the call. And sometimes I'm like, you know what? This is just not gonna work. So I'm not even gonna kill myself trying to find a time or emailing back and forth. Like if you didn't see the need to click on my booking link and figure it out yourself, then you're not invested in this conversation, and neither am I. So it's okay to even make that decision before you get on a call as you're vetting the person, right? So I think that's something important as well.

SPEAKER_01 17:32

Yeah. And we do this like this is multi-layers of protecting your time and your calendar. And I mean, your your calendar is your time, but protecting your energy overall. Inside a relationship building, it does take energy, right? Like any relationship does, whether it's your spouse or your children, your mom, or your best friend or whoever, we're creating relationships, and you have to save the energy for the people who are um also giving you in reciprocal. There's some kind of like there's some kind of uh transfer of energy, which is great. Um, and we do this in multiple different ways. Like, not only do we have the, and I'm gonna list these out because this might help somebody. We have obviously our vetting process in the beginning. You want to make sure they're the right fit. Take a look at what their business does. Don't even reach out if it doesn't feel right. Just don't do it in the first place. And then we send the booking link. And in the booking link, there's a form where they answer certain set of questions. Um, in our world, we have a VA who reviews that form. And if it doesn't fit, Anne-Marie will look through all of her meetings coming up in the coming week. Um, and I do the same thing. Like if somebody isn't aligned, then we just send them an email and say, Hey, I had a question about this. I just want to make sure that we're protecting time. Is this the right thing for us to do? Should we get on a call? And if it's not, then I want to give you permission to say at that point, cancel the call.

SPEAKER_00 18:55

Yeah. If it doesn't fit, and it's okay to do that, right? Like it's it's okay to do that, and it's important to do that.

SPEAKER_01 19:01

Right. So you you you're protecting your time there, and then you get on a call and you're asking them certain questions. And we train on this all the time. Um, you're asking them certain questions based on the information that you have, making sure it's a good fit on both sides. Again, you're protecting your audience. And if it's not the right fit there, then we use these techniques we've been talking about today. Close the call in a peaceful way. Hopefully, it's not kind of crazy. But I mean for me, it's just like I want to make sure I'm protecting people's time. Every business owner we've ever talked to always has time crunch as a part of their world. Everybody. So if you get to five, 10 minutes in and you're like, you know what, I'm not seeing it right now. I'd love to protect your time and mine. Let's stay connected on LinkedIn. Let me introduce you to two or three people. Can we follow up in three months? All of those words are great ways to not cut a relationship, but to finish up the call and move on. Because who couldn't use the gift of 15 more minutes in their day? Um, and that's the gift of time for them and for you is to say and to be honest with yourself. I do think like our members brought this up in our conversation this week is like sometimes they feel bad about like like closing up a call early, or they know it's not a fit, but they're like, Oh, this lady's kids keeps talking. Well, here's the thing you're doing them no good things. No, you're not, you're doing them a disservice by um keeping them on the call. So please, you know, be the be the person who's can taking control of your business and your partnerships by saying, I don't think this is a good fit right now, and that's completely fine. Let's finish up, let's stay connected. And you can stay connected, and it's not that big a deal. Like, who wouldn't need more connection? So anyway, we wanted to, that's not a fun topic, you know. You you want everything to be like rainbows and stuff, but it is important and unicorns, rainbows and unicorns, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:56

It is no, it is it is important. I just I I wanna just before we we wrap this up. The one thing you did talk about was energy. And I think we should do a whole other um podcast um on energy because that is so important. And when you're having those types of conversations where you're not feeling it, just remember your energy. Remember, like you are on screen and you can feel that person's energy and they can feel your energy. So, what's important as you're wrapping that conversation up and you're saying, you know, I I always encourage people to share a little bit about yourself, don't end it right there, because that's just a little abrupt. But give them the time, think about okay, how do you talk about yourself and wrap it up in a really clear way? Um, but remember that your energy, so even though you feel like it's not a fit, your face says it all. Like when I get off of calls with people, people are like, oh my God, you're always smiling. And I'm like, Yeah, I'm always smiling, right? Like it's important that people feel that energy because even if it didn't work out, even if it and if you're ending this relationship, partnership, you know, collaboration, at the end of the day, they can still say, I met somebody really interesting, we'll perhaps reconnect in three, six months. I'll gladly introduce them. You never know. You never know where a conversation or partnership may go. And I always tell people that, right? So um, if you vetted and you feel good about it, get on a call. And then if it doesn't work out, then just wrap it up and don't feel bad about it. Right. Don't feel bad about it.

SPEAKER_01 22:32

Yeah. All right, my friends. Well, that is a little bit of insight from um, you know, when the calls don't actually work the way you think they're gonna do, you know. So thank you for being here. Thank you for being in the conversation. We look forward to your feedback and thoughts. If you have any other episodes you'd like us to do, please just put it in the chat or in the comments. And we will put it on for the future episode. So thank you so much for being here. We'll see you on the next one. Thanks, everyone.