Tame your worries with a worry wheel

Good afternoon Sunshine! Are you overwhelmed with worries? Use the worry wheel to navigate this transition that is causing you pain. 

There are worries we can control but many worries we can’t control. Creating your own worry wheel can help tame your worries. 

Finding motivation after a fun weekend can be tough but giving yourself a pausing space can make it easier. Anticipating a child moving away or learning to drive is scary and so it’s ok to have a certain amount of worry. 

The worry wheel gives a place for our worries as we decide which ones we can control and which ones we can’t.  Give yourself more control with your own worry wheel! 

Thank you for sharing your time with me Sunshine! Your spark is important, You Sparkle!

@Emanate.Love.with.Emily  

Emanate Love: Solution-focused mindset training. Sustainable solutions that provide lasting results through the power of our stories. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Good afternoon, Sunshine, and welcome back to the Eminate Love Podcast. Today we get to discuss the Worry Wheel. And before we get to the Worry Wheel, I want to start off by congratulating you for making it through most of this week. I wanted to record this earlier in the week, however, the excitement and the letdown from the weekend of the fireworks was kind of crazy. And literally finding myself spinning my wheels for the first few days of the week trying to get my momentum up, I felt a little bit drained. And I'm not sure if it was just the fact that the most exciting part of the summer is now over because I love the Fourth of July in the fireworks, and I love the colors in the sky and the sounds, and the whole experience is just mesmerizing. I just I love fireworks, and coming off of the fireworks episode was not my favorite, and I call it re-entering. The importance of giving ourselves that transition space that we might need sometimes. And so the tip of the week this week is to notice that if you are feeling a little bit overwhelmed, a little bit unmotivated, or a little bit frustrated, and you might even be facing something that is difficult at the same time, that this is human. This is a human response. Because feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated and discombobulated in the middle of something that's really tough is normal and human. And when you have something that's hard, sunshine, like perhaps the week after something really fun happens, give yourself a pause. Even put it in your calendar as a pausing week or a pausing day where you're just going to pause and catch your breath. And maybe even call it a catch up day if you don't want to pause. If that doesn't feel productive enough for you, you could just put catch up day or um momentum day, you know, whatever you want to call it, whatever feels good to you, whatever word feels right for you. But for me, I needed to just pause a little bit. And as we look at this worry will, this is something that I talk to myself and my loved ones about all the time. And before I get there, I want to give a shout out to the listeners that we have all up and down the West Coast, all up and down California, in Utah, Virginia, and even all the way over in Germany and India. And I want to thank you for being listeners and for spending time with me every week as we navigate the roller coaster of our emotions and our lives. And especially at a time when we're trying to restabilize, regroup, and re-motivate ourselves and re-center ourselves after such a busy and hopefully fun weekend last weekend. So as we look at this worry will, it became apparent to me that I needed some a space and an object to call this worry and to place this worry that I kept in my own brain. Some people call it rumination, some people call it spinning your wills. I just know that I like to worry about a lot of things, and it makes me feel in control of my life. If I can worry about something, I feel like I can control it, which is not true. Couldn't be further from the truth. But some of the worries that I've been having, I decided to put on paper. And the best way to do this exercise is to just draw a big circle on a piece of paper and put all your worries in that circle. And give yourself a good five minutes. Set the timer for five minutes and put all your worries down. And what you might notice is a variety of things, right? Number one, maybe some of your worries that you thought were your big worries aren't so big. Like for me, I have a child going off to college, and I was a little worried and am a little worried about that situation because I'm gonna miss that person. And yet they're demonstrating that they're very much ready for so many independent steps in their life, and yet it's still a worry of mine. But I noticed that on my worry will today, I actually had probably 15 or 20 things totally unrelated to what I thought was my main worry. And I think it was just the cumulative effect of having several worries that were unattended and left to grow. And I was just caretaking my worries a little too much this week. I don't know if you've ever done that. I feel like I'm breastfeeding my worries. I know that sounds crazy, but I literally can take really good care of my worries. I can nurture them, love them, and let them know that they are real, but they're not. But I still nurture them and I still caretake them. Why do I do this? Because I'm human, right? And because I'm going through a human experience where I don't have as much control as I used to have or I used to think I had. And as our kids get older and they develop more independence and they get jobs and they work in their communities and they eventually drive. These are situations that can be very anxiety-provoking for parents. And with good reason, right? We've created these humans that are now operating independently of us out in the world where we know there's stuff that can happen. So there's a lot of good reasons for our concern, but sometimes it's not serving us. Okay. And one of the thoughts I've been having about this worry, all the worries on my worry world, is that I am nothing. And that's a pretty powerful thought. It's a pretty negative thought. And it's not true. And as I identified this thought and wrote it down and then crossed it out, I replaced it with a more accurate thought, which is I am powerful, I am beautiful, I am kind, and I am successful. And I'm so grateful that I had the ability to pause, to create a worry will, to put myself at the center of this worry will, and to realize that I am in control of me as much as I ever have been. And I'm gaining some traction. Because I'm not the negative thoughts that I think sometimes. And I'm not the negative feelings that I feel. I'm having a human response to a difficult situation. And if I didn't feel a little bit frustrated or depressed or sad or scared, I maybe wouldn't be human. Because transitions like independence into adulthood are the biggest transitions that a human can make in life. To go from living under one's parents' roof to living under their own roof. It's the single largest transition a human can make. And of course, it's going to produce some anxiety for any adult or anyone going through it or anyone watching someone go through it. You're having a human experience. And it's okay to feel these negative feelings because we're not our negative feelings. I'm not the depression that I feel. I am not the failure I feel. I'm not the nothingness and the helplessness that I feel. I am strong and I am powerful and I am successful. And you are strong. You are powerful and you are successful because you've found your way to a resource that can build your inner coach, that can make you feel more of the positive feelings and give you more control over the negative ones. Because we all have them. It doesn't matter how successful you are, it doesn't matter how much money you have or where you live, you're a human, and humans all have positive and negative emotions. And so as we look at this worry will and we identify the worry wills in our lives and the elements of our own worry will and put them down on paper, it gives us power. Simply naming that emotion will tame that emotion. Simply putting that down on paper can give you power and control over it. Because our brains want to make things seem way bigger than they are sometimes and way more pervasive than they are, when in reality it's a lot smaller than we even know. So in this pausing and transition stage that we're in right now, I want us to think of our power. Think of the awesome stuff that we're made of. Think of at least one awesome thought about something that we've done that's pretty amazing. And I know that you've done something awesome in your life. And I know that you've helped somebody at some point. And I know that you care. So what is that piece of awesomeness that you've done? Is it baking something nice for somebody you care about? Or baking cookie dough for yourself and freezing it so that you could enjoy it during a tough moment in the future? Because taking care of yourself is okay. It's an important part of anyone's survival. I'm so grateful for all the people that support me on my worry will, that help me find my way through the weeds and identify the weeds because we sometimes rely on our friends to help us with our experiences so that we can move forward and pause at the appropriate time. And I want to just take a second to give you a big hug because hugs are important. And I want you to wrap your arms around your shoulders and give yourself a big squeeze right now. And know that I'm sending you a hug and that you can give yourself this hug anytime you need. Because hugs are important. They're a very important part of this human experience. And I'm so grateful that you came to the podcast today, that you spent a little bit of time hearing the beat of your own heart and pausing to take a break. Because if you're in a tough transition, or if you're coming off of something really fun and really exciting, and you're feeling a little bummed out, that's normal and human. And it's okay to feel bummed out and to give yourself a pausing day, because we all need them. I hope you know that you emanate love with all of your choices and with your kind words. And I hope you have an amazing weekend, and we'll see you next week. Take care, Sunshine. You got this.