#5 - Talking to my dead brother, angel numbers and divine protection

Hey! Here's the video I mentioned in the opening. 

This week I talk about how my brother sent me 2 green balloons and showed me a typo on his headstone - all to prove I was really hearing his voice after he passed. I'll post a photo of all of it on instagram soon. 

Angel number meanings:

000 / 0000: Endless possibilities and a fresh start.

111 / 1111: Manifestation, intuition, and new beginnings.

222 / 2222: Trust, balance, with your purpose.

333 / 3333: Support, creativity, and connection from spirit guides.

444 / 4444: Stability, protection, and being on the right path.

555 / 5555: Major life changes and freedom.

666 / 6666: A need for self-kindness or shifting perspective.

777 / 7777: Good fortune, luck, and spiritual awakening.

888 / 8888: Abundance, success, and financial prosperity.

999 / 9999: Completion, closure, and ending a chapter

I love you all, I'm creating some resources in the coming weeks, so make sure you follow me @christie.heals! 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Oh hi cutie pies. How are you today? I want you to do one thing, okay? Real quick. Unclench your jaw. I have to tell myself that so many times a day. Doesn't that feel better? We hold on to so much stress just for the from this modern life and how busted it is. We were never meant to be the cooker, the cleaner, the mom, the dad, the sister, the wife, the husband, the friend, the aunt, the uncle, the neighbor, the worker. It's a lot. Did I say worker twice? Do you know what I mean? Like to do your laundry, to go to the dentist, to pay your bills, to go out and make money, to find a way to somehow enjoy doing it, keep up with people's birthdays, have a social life, keep your mental health in check, get your fitness in check, try to heal, try to have some meaningful experiences and vacations, like, uh, pick two. Anyway, now that your jaw's relaxed, how are you? I have I didn't post here for like a week, and I'm so sorry I neglected you, but I read all your messages and I love how many of you are listening. Can you do me a favor at the end of this? Can you leave me a review on Spotify or whatever platform you're listening on? I really do love your feedback. If you wanted to tell me, like, even that you hate the show and what you would change, that's fine. But we're back in my car for another car episode, and I missed my turn already. So this is going great. It's okay. I get excited to talk to you guys. Um, so um, I posted a video uh uh two days ago of this scene of Game of Thrones. I thought this video was gonna change the world, okay? I'm getting to know Cap Cut, which is an editing software and it's really fun, and they have all these fun templates. And there's this song, you know, the zombie song Zombie, Zombe, but it's a cover, it's like a bunch of guys singing it, it's not the gal who sang it originally. And I got a clip from the Game of Thrones, which I'm not crazy enough to watch because I can't handle violence. My life was plenty violent with two older brothers and a fire chief dad. I don't choose violence for fun, for entertainment. I can't hang. So I've never seen the show, but it's one of the characters. They're it's apparently called The Battle of the Bastards. So sorry if there's children listening. I try not to cuss on this show, but it happens. Um, but that's what this scene is called, and it's this man standing by himself. I don't know why he's going into battle alone, but there's basically a whole army, and they're coming for him, and he's like, Well, uh-oh. And he pulls out his sword, and it looks like he's just about to get mauled by all these people charging up to him. And suddenly, all like his side comes up, guns ablazing, horses and swords, and he thought he was going into it alone, but all of a sudden he had all this support. Oh, I have goosebumps just talking about it. Um, and the caption was basically like the black sheep versus the toxic family. That's how it felt for all of us for so long. It was like, why does my family not get me? What is going on? Why is this so hard? I'm trying to be a good person. Why can nobody get with the program? Why is this why am I having to explain to everyone how to behave? Why are they treating me so badly, even though I'm trying to help everyone come closer together? And it's a metaphor for what we're gonna talk about today. I swear to God, you guys, I don't know what happens after we die. But I have had some divine experiences after this happening. Um we're gonna talk about my my brother today, who's not with us anymore. Um but there's like this feeling of so much support has been with me ever since I did this. And this divine, this sense of divine protection that came out a lot in my journaling. I I kept writing down, I'm divinely protected. And it's not because I think I'm better than my family at all. It's because the mission is pure, the the effort was there, it was so misunderstood that it caused so much pain that it will be rewarded at the end of this life. Because what we're all doing is ending what you could call like a karmic cycle. We don't have to get into like, if you're super Christian, that's I love that. That's fine. I love Jesus too. I was raised Christian. I'm not trying to come for your religion. This is not gonna be that kind of an episode. But even if you are religious, you know there's angels and and guides and and like entities that look after us that are all loving and they just want to help us feel supported and loved and and help us through life. They they remove obstacles. And all I gotta tell you, and I don't know if it's been the case for you too, but sometimes I felt like there was an invisible support net, even though I went in no contact with both parents and my living brother, and all my aunts and uncles, and all my cousins, except one, and I wasn't even friends with him until after my brother died. We didn't really know each other that well because our family was that toxic. My parents didn't get along with his parents, so we didn't see each other that much. Um, I just always had this feeling of like it's gonna be okay. So today we're gonna talk about angel numbers. Again, this is not religious, these are just things that they're like synchronicities that happen when people start choosing themselves, like we all have. So we're gonna talk about angel numbers and we're gonna talk about how I started talking to my dead brother. Because that video I made, I had goosebumps the whole time I made it. I'll link out to it in this in the description so you can go be like, what the hell is she talking about? It only got 5,000 views, and I was like, okay, sometimes I have a feeling I'm like, this is gonna go viral, and I'm like, and it's right, and then sometimes I'm like this is gonna go viral, and it flops, and it's so humbling. And my goal is never to be like Instagram famous. My goal is only to help as many people as possible know that they're not crazy, and I do that through my videos, so I get humbled all the time, which is why I've just learned to just like stick with the discipline. But um, so my brother passed away. Okay. The I'll tell more about it over the over the episodes, but he was struggling with addiction. His second wife had left him. I was on the phone with her when he was drunk. He was trying to get sober. He had he had gotten he dried out, if you know what that means. Um, like he sweat through his sheets. The sheets were yellow. Thank you, Car, for warning me that there's another car. He he tried to get sober and he was miserable. That is miserable work. You know, it took a long time to get to the point of being an alcoholic. It takes a lot of effort to get your body to adjust and stop it. Um he was he was making the effort to try and get better. He knew he was not making good choices. He slipped up, he had he got drunk one night, and he, when you're on the in the middle of a breakthrough, you're pretty wobbly, and all of your ugliness comes out, all of your shadow side, all of your insecurities, all of your anger and your rage. And um, she called me. I'm not gonna share a ton of their personal story, but basically, my sister-in-law at the time, my second sister-in-law, it was his second wife, calls me one night and goes, Well, she basically said she had to flee the house with no shoes on, and she didn't know who to call. And she knew that my story, I was abused. I deleted all the voice recordings I ever had, so I could never prove it, and I got smear campaigned hard. A lot of people said I was a crazy biatch who made the whole thing up, and that was very painful. So I told her, she said, I have to go back and get my wallet. I need my license, I need I need my stuff, I'm leaving. Um, so she went back in and I told her to record the conversation, and he was not in his right mind, and he tried to end her life that night, too, and luckily she got away. So, you know, my brother and I had been talking for years about our family and trying to make sense of it. So he and I were pretty bonded, even though he was like enemy number one in childhood. He was a scary dude. I'm getting on the highway, so I hope the noise is okay. Um, but he and I had gotten close. But when I found out that he treated her this way, and I'm trying to on the phone with her, try and get her to a hotel. She's got like no service in Alabama, and she's got no shoes on, and it's the middle of winter. I'm like, I was so mad at him. Um, coming from a loving place, but I essentially went no contact with him too. I said, I love you, but Jesus Christ, you're doing the same thing to her that mine did to me, and you've been letting me cry to you when in reality you do this too. Oh my god. Also, isn't it spooky that I grew up with a brother capable of this and then I married someone? Do you see how our childhood causes us to choose similar pain to how we grew up? Like my brother used to just traumatize me. He used to pin me down, chase me through their basement. But I said, you have to go get sober, you have to go handle this. I can't come out there. I have kids, my company was being acquired, so I was like, I don't have time for this anymore, dude. This is your time. This is your you can you can do this, but also I'm super pissed off at you because you tried to end a woman that I love, and like we need space, you gotta go. This is your hero's journey, not mine. And I can be very direct when I'm upset, but it was essentially, I love you, don't be an idiot, go fix this, go fix yourself. You got this, go. And he took his life about a month later, and it was awful. Um, it was about a couple months after my dad had sent him that nasty letter I told you you all about, how my dad blamed his Parkinson's on him and said he was the worst kid. Like my I didn't agree with how he was being supported by I was exhausted from supporting the guy, loved him to death, but it wasn't my job, and it's none of your jobs either to save an alcoholic or bend over backwards to someone who's got to jump into action and do the things to save themselves. We can't want it more than them. That was the problem the whole time. I wanted him to get sober more than he did. I know he wanted it, but I wanted it more, and I had to remove myself because I was enabling him. Anyway, let me fast forward and skip a couple chapters, we'll talk about another day. In the aftermath of this, you know, I'd gone no contact with my family, and then my brother's dead. So I have really no one to process this with. Um, I didn't have great friends at the time. So I was, I still had to work, still had two amazing kids. And one night, like three days after it happened, you know, when someone you love dies, you know, like for the first couple days, you are just in a fog. You can't really fall asleep. If you sleep, you sleep for like an hour and a half, maybe, or you'll sleep for 30 minutes and wake up so you're not getting restful sleep. And then when you wake up, the first thing you think is like, oh my god, there's been some sort of tragedy. Like you forget for a second, and then you're like, wait, what's going on? And then you remember they died. And you're like, oh my god. By the way, this episode's gonna get positive. Don't worry. This is a bummer, but stay with it. Um, so it was like day three, and I'm just walking around the house. I'm putting away laundry, my kids are with their dad, because we share custody, and I'm missing my kids, my brother's dead, I don't talk to my family. It was just like one of the lowest of the low chapters, and I was just like, what is the point of all of this? Where is all of this headed? Why is this so how am I gonna dig myself out of this one? I'm putting away the laundry, and all of a sudden in my head, I hear, hey kid, and that's what he used to call me. I always found it condescending and annoying, but I was any way that I could connect with my older brother, I just wanted him to like me for so long. So like I let him call me the nickname. So I hear hey kid, and I'm like, What? And I said, I think I said out loud, like, hello, and he said, Hey, it's me. And I was like, Josh? He said, Yeah, good, you can hear me. I swear to god, you guys. And I, of course, initially I thought, okay, this is wishful thinking, I've lost my mind. I'm so sleep deprived, and I'm in such a state of grief that now I'm psychotic. Now, now I have um, what's it called when you have multiple personalities? Now I whatever, I just have some kind of psychosis. Great, but he kept talking and he goes, Hey, buddy, that's the other thing he used to call me. Buddy, it's not your fault. And I was like, uh, but it kind of was. And he actually was the first one to say, he said, it was never your job to save me. Okay, that never came from therapy, that came from him. And I hadn't processed enough yet my role as the enabler. I wasn't ready to admit that it wasn't my fault. It was literally in my head. I'm hearing my brother's voice. He's like, it wasn't your fault. That was really selfish. I'm really sorry. That was not your job to save me, to fix me. That was way too much pressure. And I was just like, huh? And I just remember sitting in my kids' closet, putting away gap clothes and target clothes, just like crying, like, is this real? And he was laughing and he was like, it is real, relax, it's okay. And so, so do with that what you will, okay? Because I can prove that this was real. Just stay with me. So I went to bed that night and was like, I'm an idiot. I'm just a crazy woman who's deranged and divorced, and I'm just like a loser who's a maniac. That's it, it was bad. My inner monologue was terrible. I was like, I killed my brother. I killed my brother. Um, he kept talking to me. The next couple days, I was doing some journaling, and he would always pop in, hey kid, and I'd go, What are you doing? Like, what is this? And he was like, I can stop, but I also know you can handle this, and we can totally communicate with you guys if you guys are just willing to listen. So, like, it's me. I I was starting to get frustrated because I was like, no one's gonna believe me. Um, fine. I said out loud, I said, fine, prove it to me. Send me a sign, send me a green balloon, or shut the hell up. And he laughed, and then it stopped. And that very same day, I took my kids, you guys, to the grocery store. We needed something, we always do. And there is a table outside of this HEB here in Austin, Texas. And we walk up to the table and they're selling like mushrooms for your grass. It was like, buy this brick of fungus, and it's gonna be a fertilizer. And I was just fascinated with psychedelics. So I was like, what is this? And the man working the table, he goes, Oh, you have kids here. Do you do you guys want some balloons? And guess what he gives us? Not one green balloon, but two! I have a picture. I'll post about this on Instagram so you can see it. I don't know how to post a picture in the show notes, but that same day I got two green balloons. What are the chances a stranger hands me a green balloon? Okay, wait, there's another story to validate this. Stay with me. I start crying, and the man's like, I'm so sorry, do you not want them? And I was like, No, my brother died, and I asked him for a balloon, and it was green, and and then I realized this man was not equipped, nor did he ask for a spiritual awakening at that very moment, like I was having. So I was like, I'm sorry, no, we want them, thank you so much. I like hugged him. The kids too were like, What, mom? What are you doing? Um, my kids are used to it. I love my kids because they let they love me for me. I don't cry very often, but during that time, my brother died, and I was sad. But these balloons, I got two balloons that day. Then, of course, my brain is still like, we're crazy. That was a fluke. I don't know how that possibly could have happened otherwise, but sure, maybe it was a fluke. So I'm out for a walk one day, listening to my self-help books and my podcasts, and you gotta manifest your future and Joe Dispenza. I do love Joe Dispenza, he's a meditation guy. But I'm just like, sometimes you can get into a self-help loop that's also negative helpful because you just want to learn about trauma and you just want to learn about why people are so bad, and sometimes you just need to listen to music, you just need to chill. Um, but I'm out listening to my audiobook, and um my AirPods die, so I'm like, oh man, I gotta be alone with my own company. And sure enough, here he comes. He's I hear hey kid. I was like, hey, thanks for the balloons. And he would it's it's funny because he goes, You like that, didn't you? His voice back to me is not something I could make up, but it's exactly how he would talk. It wasn't wishful thinking, it was quick, witty banter like he and I used to have, exactly like it. And also every time this happened, I'd get goosebumps every single time. And yes, I I tend to run cold, but not on a July whatever day. What was it? No, no, no. This would have been like still it would have been winter. But you know, when there's like a an entity or when you're connected to something, or when something from the other side is near you, people say they get the chills. So he's like, You like those balloons, huh? I was like, Yeah, but this is getting stupid. I don't, I don't believe this is real, and I think we have to stop this because right now I've got no friends, I've got no partner, um, I'm about to quit corporate, and uh this isn't I don't know what this is, and it scares me, and I feel like I should just stop. It's I don't know, I don't know what's going on. And he was like, Okay. He was like, Well, uh, you need to have a good laugh. So why don't you go look at my headstone? And I was like, I don't have time to fly out there. I didn't go to the funeral because he was already dead. I didn't talk to my family, so I didn't go. My family was very upset. I said, I don't have time, I don't have time to go out there. I'll go visit you one day. And he goes, No, no, no, no. It's like a public record. Also, it's on mom's Facebook. He literally says this, and I was like, Of course it is. I don't have really Facebook, I do, but it's just for like HOA notifications, and like for my kids' daycare back in the day, like Facebook was the only way to get messages. So I'm like, okay. He goes, trust me, go look at my headstone. There's a typo. And I was like, what? So I go to Facebook and I pull up my dear mother's Facebook page, and of course, you know, everyone grieves in their own way, but I do think there's a special school after this where people go learn to not be so shitty, because my mom had his face plastered all over her Facebook, and his headstone was in her banner, and yet the woman was nowhere to be found when he needed her. You know, when people make it their whole identity that they lost someone, but they were kind of part of the downfall. My brother chose to take his life, but my I did not, I was grossed out by how she was like wearing it like a badge of honor. But sure enough, his headstone said out of darkness into light. And into was two words. And he was an English major, which is even funnier. So into is a word, it's one word, it's not supposed to be into light. Um I hope I'm saying the typo correctly. I hope I don't have my grammar mixed up, but it sure as shit was a typo on his headstone. They used into incorrectly. Um, so I'm just sitting there again. Then I get goosebumps from my toes to the tip of my head, and I'm like, holy cow, I'm really talking to you. And I remember he was like, Do you believe me now? And I said, Yeah, I think I thought this was too good to be true. And you know what he said to me? He goes, You can talk to me absolutely whenever you want. But he also said, You have so much support from the other side, you have no idea. Chris, you should see it. It's not what you think. He said, I made a mistake, I should have stayed. And I'm having to watch all of you go through all of this, and I'm so sorry. But I will do whatever I can to remove any obstacles for you and just know that it I'm not that powerful. There's like a lot of powerful things that are in people that are helping you. And I was like, What do you mean? And I can only explain it as like, we we have guides, like call them angels, call them spiritual guides. But he was like, most people get one, you've got like three, and our family has 10. And there's like this big ongoing pattern with our family that just won't seem to stop. But like you are stopping it. So, like, a lot of stuff's gonna fall into place that you can't see in the future, I can't see the future, but like just know you're good. Stay the good, just be the best you can, do the right thing, and like everything's gonna be just fine. And I was like, of course. Then I'm like, but I'm quite a corporate, and I needed a business plan, and I needed to stand up a website, and I was giving speeches for other stuff unrelated to this. So I was like, everything's gonna be fine. And yet, here we are today. I'm talking to you and you're listening. So basically, another time, just one one more quick one. I was about to give a speech, and I kind of was like forgetting my speech as I was walking on stage because I'd been through so much in such a short amount of time. I was getting ready to talk to 5,000 people, and I'm walking getting ready to walk on stage, like, I don't even remember my opening line. And I was just like, God darn it, what am I gonna do? And he came in and he said, Hey kid, just remember, just remember to have fun. And I basically winged my whole speech. I like made it up. I had Slides and I sort of referred to them, but I basically made up my speech, and afterward, people were like, That was a great speech, like that was awesome. And I was like, It's like he was I could imagine he was right next to me, I just couldn't see him. You know what I mean? So, in the middle of all of this unfolding, I started seeing patterns everywhere, and of course, initially, again, related it to I'm just losing my mind, I'm just searching for meaning in everything in anything because I'm so desperate to figure out which way is up. I started to see 1111 555 66666 77, like all the time. Also, when I would check the time, it would be 311, 211, 411, 511, 611. Anytime I checked the time, it was a number and then 11. So I looked into it, and I one day I was like talking to Chat GPT and was like, I'm going crazy. I'm seeing numbers and patterns everywhere I go. And it was like, oh, those are angel numbers. And I was like, what? Apparently, there's a whole code. There's like ancient numerology has meaning. Um, one, one, like a series of ones means you're on the right path. Shoot, I wish I had my reference guide. I'll have to post about this too. There is a meaning to each number set. Two, two, two, two, two means you need more balance. Um, like you're you're doing too much. Um, you need to relax and let things flow. Uh, three, three, three is all about connection and like um connections either coming or like you're feeling really connected. Anyway, there all there's also like meaning in the numbers of 211, 711, 411. I was just seeing it everywhere to the point where I started taking screenshots and pictures. It was so if you look on license plates, if you look on receipts, if you look at addresses, it's so uncanny. If you look at the totals on your bills, if you look at your account number on things, like my bank account um has five eights in it. And eights all about abundance and money and financial abundance. And it's so funny that my bank account was so dry for a hot second and it was so scary because I was rebuilding. I had to detach from corporate and go build something else and just trust that it was gonna work out, and it did. I don't mean to be like this witchy spiritual woman, but I'm telling you, there's messages and signs everywhere. I also think our ancestors are always trying to contact us, whether it's someone you knew in this life or it's someone many lifetimes before you, if we just quiet our mind, you may not get such a specific message as me. And you if don't feel like you have to try and force it or make it up, but sometimes if we just sit in silence, you can hear messages, you can you can receive messages. And in my greatest moments of struggle, I'll be like crying, sobbing on my floor that nothing's working, and I'll check the time and it's two, two, two, and it's I like laugh out loud because I'm like, oh, that's all about like balance. Like, take a break. I haven't taken a break in days and weeks. I need to drink some water, I need to just go for a walk. So um, to anyone that you want to talk to, I know you can ask them to visit you in a dream. I've requested my brother before and he's come. Um, and really anytime I want to talk to him now, he's like, hey, what's up? He's right there. He also told me, I'll leave you with this. He told me that because he committed suicide, that is a very violent way to take yourself out of this video game, and you're not supposed to do that. And when people do that, their soul becomes a little bit fractured, okay? And he said he had to go into this very big, beautiful, bejeweled room where his soul had to like get energy to it and like it had to heal, and it was he described it as this beautiful treasure chest looking top of a bejeweled room, and the light that shone through like healed his soul so he can come back and try again. He basically described reincarnation. Now, again, I grew up religious, so my brain has a hard time with it. Um, but it was very specific and very beautiful in the way that he described it. But he also said, It's not what you think, and we can all see you, and we're all watching, and we're all like cheering you on, and we see the bullshit and the things that upset you, and we're like, let it go, keep moving. That wasn't the point. They had to get out of your way, they had to upset you so bad that you detached. Now you're so mad that they're gone, but they weren't good for you. Like, pick your head up, keep moving. And I just think that's a beautiful way to look at it. We have so many things that we can't even see. People, I don't know what these entities are. Sounds powerful, but they have a zoomed-out view of all of this. If you imagine we're in a play, how boring would the play be if we scrolled our phones? I I'm guilty of I'm gonna describe myself. I'm not describing you, don't be offended. How boring would the play be if we scrolled our phones and like got stuck in our feels, victim mentality? Why is everything so hard? Why does everything always happen like this to me? Why does nobody get me? I'm so sad. I'm gonna just self-sabotage. Like, I I definitely had seasons where nobody would have been watching that show. But we all have to get sick of our own our own BS. We all have stuff we need to work on and things we need to alchemize and pain that can get stuck, which is why I'm so excited. I'm making I just finished outlining a course to alchemize all the pain from going to contact. I I like frameworked it and I'm going to be making an eight-module course. Um, but before that, I'm gonna make the guide to never getting manipulated again. And I'm gonna ship that in two weeks. So it's all coming together. I had no way of knowing it was gonna lead me here. If you would have told me a year ago, I would be talking oh my god, right in front of me is 666, the license plate, RHS 6660. What is going on? Also, 666 is not a satanic number. According to ancient, more ancient than the Bible numerology. I'll put in the sh how about this? I'll put in the show notes what all the numbers mean for you, okay? So check the show notes. Um, what was I saying? Oh no. Oh, let's play this game. Christy's tired, driving home, talking to you, my favorite thing. Um, I guess, oh, I was trying to say a year ago, if you would have told me I was getting on Instagram and talking about what happened to me when I was married, what happened to me with my parents, what happened to my brother, I would have told you you were nuts. But when you run toward your pain and we don't keep shoving it down, when we when we are open to interpretation and we ask ourselves, what was all of this for? You know, you probably definitely don't want to get on Instagram like me, but there is a reason we went through what we went through because it taught us something. Pain is the greatest teacher, and now I get to teach people, one to many, how to turn their pain into and their greatest struggle into their greatest success story for their most authentic life, and turn their grief and shame and betrayal into empowerment and heal that. You are going to have so much data and information to help yourself make better decisions, and whatever living your best life looks like for you, that's also available. I was the invisible child, okay? So it totally makes sense that now I'm like, look at me, listen to me. I have a podcast, I got social media accounts, I won't stop posting videos. You wouldn't listen to me then, you'll listen to me now. Your wound is not the same as mine. Also, I was such a shy child. If you cut, I always thought I would be on stages or I would be on TV, and it wasn't to be famous. I always saw myself teaching, like workshopping. Even as a little kid, I didn't even know what workshopping was. And it's so funny how it's happening. It's not all the time, but it's starting to happen. I also used to write on a sticky note, I'm an author for the longest time. For years, I was like, I don't know what I'm gonna write a book about, but I'm gonna write a book. And I started to write a corporate book, and I will finish it one day, but I dropped it because I was burned out, and I wrote a book about toxic families, the family cycle breaker. It's the link in my bio. Like I am an author, and people buy that book and they tell me they loved it. It's like a word document, but it's a book. Technically, it's definitely not an e-book. Um, and one day it could become a legitimate book you can get on Amazon if I can just get organized enough to do it, make a new version, and more books can be written. Like, whatever you want for yourself, I dare you to write it on a sticky note. I am a blank. I am a CEO, I am a founder, I am an entrepreneur, I am a mom, I am even just like I'm a great mom. Like, I used to write that too. I'm a I don't know, personal fitness trainer. I don't know what you would write on your sticky note, but you should write it. And you should look at it every day and put up a picture of little kid you next to it and be like, I don't know how we're gonna do it, but this is this is where we're headed. And when you choose yourself, when you go no contact with your family, the entities, the guides, the people looking after you are like, Oh, it's on. Remove the obstacles, remove the obstacles. Sometimes too, removing the obstacles feels like failure. I had a launch of some corporate product that just bombed, and I was so like sad, not even embarrassed, but just frustrated because I worked so hard on it, but I didn't know how to properly launch a product. But I needed that to fail a little bit to get me to shift over to this. And I'll go back to that stuff one day. I've learned a lot, but everything is in your favor, even when it feels like it's falling apart. There's a reason everything's falling apart. If you had good intentions and if you put in the effort and it just didn't work out, good. Don't stress about why. Just assume it's divine intervention and just keep moving. What's next? Are you gonna rebuild it? Are you gonna build something else? You don't even have to be building anything. You could be healing, you could be going to a new job, whatever. You didn't get that job, great. That was probably a terrible company. Everything is divine protection. I had partnerships fall through, I had um collaborations fall through, and I was so distraught. I had clients fall through here and there, and I was just anytime it happened, I'd be like, ugh, but towards the end, I'd be like, okay, that's fine. There's probably a reason it was probably gonna be bad for me. So great. That gives me more time to find the next one. So look on your receipts, look at license plates, check the show notes so I can show you what these numbers mean. And I even told my kids about this, and my daughter was like, I never see angel numbers. That's I'm sad. And I was like, No, no, no, just start paying attention. And sure enough, she sees them everywhere too. She'll screenshot her iPad when she's at her dad's house, and it's 3 3 3 o'clock, it's 1111. Um she sees them everywhere, she'll get her assignment back, and she'll be like, Oh, the math problem was like, you know, some whatever pattern. It gives you hope, okay? And and it's not just a number, it is so funny what the number meant at the moment I saw it and how much I needed the message. So apparently, we can talk to our dead relatives. They're like ready and waiting. We just gotta learn how to be quiet enough and tap in. Again, don't be don't be disappointed if you don't have an experience exactly like mine. I was so depressed, I didn't know the way out. So I think maybe my brother was given special permission because I was slipping pretty hard. I was no contact with so many people at once while being smear campaigned for an abusive marriage, while raising kids, while going through an acquisition. There's no competition in our suffering, but I think he was given a permission slip to extra get through to me. Um, but we also, I think, all have spiritual gifts. I've always heard voices ever since I was a kid. I've always heard commentary in my head. And I learned as a child to not say it out loud because my parents didn't get it, nobody got it. So I just learned to be quiet. So whether you can hear things, whether you can feel things, whether you can sense things, you know, you might look into other intuitive gifts that you might have. I could talk about that too. So by now you still might be clenching your jaw again, unclench your jaw. I love you. We're all doing the best we can. I'm so proud of all of us, and um, I will talk to you very soon, and I can't wait to give you some of these resources because I know they're gonna change your life because I wrote what I wish I would have had that would have helped me process a lot of stuff a lot faster, and it is my pleasure to like organize it in a way that's easy to understand and something that you can use as a reference and give to other people one day. This is life-changing stuff. They don't teach this in school, that's why everybody struggles with it. So I'm really excited to get your feedback on that too. As soon as I ship it, the the not get manipulation guide, don't ever get manipulated again, is gonna launch in like two weeks. I built half of it tonight. I can't wait to share it. So okay. I'm out of breath because now my allergies are hitting. So I'm gonna go. I love you guys so much. I'll talk to you soon. I love you bye.