Episode 1: Come As You Are

Welcome to the very first episode of ADHD Wise Podcast. In this opening conversation, Jannine Perryman shares the story behind ADHD Wise, her own ADHD diagnosis journey, and the family experiences that shaped the work she has been building per professional work for the past 10 years.

From parenting neurodivergent children, to leaving teaching, to creating a space that bridges lived experience and professional insight, this episode sets the tone for what ADHD Wise Podcast is all about: honest conversations, practical wisdom, and support that meets people where they are.

Jannine also reads an extract from her upcoming book, Becoming ADHD Wise, reflecting on the moment she realised her understanding had outgrown the systems she worked within and how ADHD Wise became the bridge between understanding and thriving.

Whether you are neurodivergent yourself, parenting a neurodivergent child, supporting a partner, or working professionally in this space, this is a place to come as you are.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to ADHD Wise Podcast. I'm Janine Perryman, and this is a space for open conversations about ADHD and neurodiversity, bringing together lived experience, professional insights, and the questions that help us move forward. Wherever you are in your journey, you are welcome here. So I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 41, and that was on the back of my children being diagnosed. Apart from my youngest daughter, who it was difficult to get diagnosis for because she's of that really annoying, really good at everything, can dance, can sing, understands science and maths, can write, can write poetry, does gymnastics, and so she couldn't possibly have ADHD, right? So we had battles with Hersenko along those lines. But Will was a stereotypical boy for ADHD. And Vicky had ADHD added to her pre-existing autism diagnosis. So she was diagnosed autistic when she was eight, and then they added um ADHD when she was 19, when I was basically saying, I don't know what to do here, I'm really struggling. And so they added ADHD to her diagnosis. We'll come and talk about that more in more detail. Um, but the reality is that we went on a journey as a family. I went on a journey as an individual and as a parent, and I couldn't find the information that I was looking for back then. So we're talking 10 years ago. Um, there is a lot more information out there, there is a lot more resource out there, and as much as there's not proper support as the as we would like to see it, there is more than there was 10 years ago. So that was how ADHDY started. Literally, um, we were named by a group of um parents on uh on Facebook forum, and I was helped by a select group of people who I'm still in touch with who are still part of my network. Um and and here we are 10 years later, with about 45,000 followers on Facebook, which is not a small number, but it's not a huge number either, but it's been sort of slowing, growing slowly. Um, and I'm really proud of what we've got there and and I'm glad that and impressed that people bother really. It's kind of nice and feels wholesome and and like something that's been worthwhile. Um, and I am I am proud of it. I am writing several books at the moment. I have one out already, which is my 100 ideas for ADHD in secondary schools, which is a Bloomsbury book. Um, I'm also writing some books with regards to neurodiversity in the workplace, along with Nikki Malsman from Inspired HR and Inspired Minds. But the book that I want to talk to you about today is the Becoming ADHD wise book, because that is kind of like a real purging of me as writing me. It is what I would call, well, apparently, according to people who know these things, it is a semi-autobiographical book of non-fiction. Um, so it's a sort of like a bit of a complicated thing, but that's kind of me as well. I've never been one that could easily sort of like be pushed into a box, and ADHD-wise, as a consequence of that, has always been about bridging the gap between what people understand now and what they would benefit from understanding more. And it's very solution-focused. So we totally get that ADHD is very, very difficult to contend with, and it is um very disabling in some areas, but we also recognise that it comes with strengths, and so that we sort of sit in that bridge and we recognise that society can be disabling at the same time as realizing that if we can move things, we can actually make things really good for people with ADHD. Um, and we want to do that. So, speaking sort of like more about ADHD and broader neurodivergence, I am diagnosed with both ADHD and dyslexia. It is recognised too, though, that I um have that I am autistic. Um I just don't have a diagnosis for that. And um I'm not a believer that a diagnosis is required for everything. It's very clear to me that my needs can be met with what I've got or already identified. Um, I understand my cognition, I understand my processing, I understand the way I learn, I understand the way I work. I'm very lucky that I have a fantastic support network around me. And it's it's worked out well. So I guess for the most part, I'm an example of ADHD thriving. That doesn't mean I am the finished article. I am very far from the finished article. I still struggle with some things. My children still struggle with some things. My children are now fully grown, um, but you get the wisdom of everything that I have learnt along the way, and we've got a lot wrong along the way. This isn't a judgmental space where it's like you do it like this, and if you don't, then you're this or you're that. It isn't like that. Um, this is a space. We provide a space where you come as you are, you listen as you are, you will take what hopefully you will take anything that I say or any of my guests say, and decide how that reflects into your own life. We aren't here to tell you what to think, we are here to give you information that means that you can think about what you think and you can think about what's right for you. There is no magic wand. If there was a magic wand for the struggles related to ADHD and co-occurring conditions with ADHD, we might have waived it. But the reality is there isn't a magic wand, and there is nothing wrong with being ADHD or any of the other neurotypes. There are some challenges associated with it, and what I want you to do is to be thinking about how you can live well with ADHD, how you can be wise with your ADHD, and that's kind of like why we are here. Okay, so on that note, I'm gonna put my glasses on and I'm going to read TA for a little while. Um, hopefully, I can read it well and it will make sense to you. Okay, so this is chapter eight from the Becoming ADHD Wise book. And it's about leaving teaching and making ADHD wise my job. Just for context, I already had ADHD Wise as a social media presence at that point. So um I was um that was obviously a helpful factor in being able to leave, and this is the point at which I left teaching to make this my job, and that's what I'm gonna tell you about today. Okay, I didn't leave teaching lightly. I don't think many teachers do. Teaching is one of those rare professions where you carry other people's children in your heart, even if you're only with them for a short time. It gives you purpose, it demands everything. At its best, it is deeply meaningful and purpose-driven work where you genuinely get to be the difference. But over time, there was a steady accumulation of things I could no longer ignore. I was studying postgraduate psychology alongside my teaching role, learning about cognition, trauma, neuroscience, emotional development, neurodevelopmental conditions, and many other things aside. These are the things that shape a child's inner world and how they show up in the classroom. And as I learned, I began to see my students differently. Working in a specialist provision meant that all of the young people I had in my class had education, health, and care plans. Each carried a complex history, each had different needs. I'd sit in meetings or in my classroom revisiting something from my studies, thinking this might apply to this student, this might explain that struggle, perhaps this intervention might work for this child. I noticed small signals that suggested something deeper or additional was going on. So I did what a teacher with new understanding does. I shared it. For a long time, my assistant head welcomed it. I was encouraged, supported, and listened to. But eventually it reached a limit. One day, after I'd raised yet another possibility, another pathway for a child who might benefit from something else, she said kindly, but firmly, Janine, you need to remember you're here as a teacher, not as a psychologist. She wasn't wrong, she wasn't unkind. She was simply naming the situation. I had outgrown the role, not because teaching wasn't enough, but because I had become someone the role didn't have room for. I couldn't unknow what I knew, I couldn't unsee what I saw, and I couldn't shrink my understanding back down to fit the job description. And I also couldn't keep creating more work for people who were already overstretched, even if it was the good kind of work. They had a school to run within constraints. I had grown clarity that just couldn't be contained into the education system. So it became time to move on, respectfully, with sadness, but without regret. I still go back to social events and I still deliver training for that school. I am proud of having been shaped and grown by the staff and students at Bellingbrook School in Northampton and by the other schools and colleges I've worked with across North Hamps, Beds, and Bucks. So that's my little extract that I wanted to read to you today. Um and I think that it kind of just encapsulates sort of what I what I stand for and what you'll get from watching this watching and listening to this podcast. We're not just here to talk about children, we're not just here to talk about adults. We bridge the gap between the two. The majority of the people that follow ADHD wise and support us by our services, etc., are a combination of parents and um adults. So often actually, they're probably probably the predominant group of people that by our services are neurodivergent adults with neurodivergent children. Um, and that's sort of like where we sit. So if you're an adult or if you're a parent, if you're an adult who's neurodivergent yourself or you're a parent to neurodivergent children, or you're the partner to um somebody who is neurodivergent, this is a good place for you to be. And if you're a professional who is supporting those people, this is also a good place for you to be. We have so many topics coming up. We are going to talk about neurodiversity in HR because that's another book that I'm writing. So that I'm recording um probably tomorrow with Nikki Masterman from Inspired HR. I am speaking to another specialist teacher who does a similar role to me, so you'll get to see that as well. Um, and I've got uh a podcast already recorded uh with Sharon Marshall around um ADHD and older women. And there's another one on women and girls, which I'm recording with my daughter Becca, so you get to see the mother-daughter dynamic. Um, and also what's what how wonderful actually neurodivergent young women can be, because Becca is a fantastic example and an absolute role model. And I know I'm kind of crying down my podcast at you, but you're gonna get that too, because the raw emotional stuff, emotion dysregulation is part of ADHD. And so if I commit to a podcast where I never show you my emotion, I'm setting myself up to fail, and I'm giving you a lesser podcast. So please expect it to be raw at times because it will be. And I won't emotionally bleed on you. I will absolutely explain things to you from my scars and my bruises, but not from any open wounds. And I think that's another thing that I want to model. Myself and Nikki have been talking about trauma today and how it plays out in people, and I think that it's important to recognise that neurodiversity comes with adversity. Um, do we know many people who aren't who are different, who haven't at times been disadvantaged by those differences? And if that happened in childhood, we call that adverse childhood experiences, which are highly prevalent, more prevalent in the neurodivergent space than they are in the rest of the population. So it's going to be part of what we talk about. But I want you to enjoy your time with us as well. So there'll be lots and lots of laughs, but it's serious stuff as well. So it's the combination of the two things. It will be heartfelt, it will be useful. The question that I always ask myself in all of the work that I do is what do people need? So what I'm trying to do is curate guests and material for you that will help you on your journey, that will make it easier for you than it was for me when I was at the beginning of my journey or partway through my journey or even now to bring you what you need so that you can make life better, so that you can thrive, not just in spite of the challenges, but maybe because of the challenges that are associated with ADHD and co-occurring neurodivergence. Anyway, thank you for watching or listening. Um, let's have some fun together, let's learn together, let's be ADHD-wise together. Thank you for listening to ADHD Wise Podcast. ADHD Wise exists to help bridge understanding and support for people exploring ADHD and broader neurodiversity. If you would like to know more about us and our services, please visit www.adhdwise.uk. Follow ADHDwiseuk on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and LinkedIn. Take care and we'll see you next time.