EP005 | War, Drinking & Getting Older

In this episode, we get into getting older, drinking less like champions than we used to, the rarity of wood, everyday humor, Iran, and the chaos of dealing with the VA health care system.

As usual, it’s strong opinions, loose facts, and two guys doing their best to make sense of things they have no business explaining.

2 Guys No Credentials — strong opinions, no credentials.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Welcome to Two Guys No Credentials.

SPEAKER_02 0:02

We're two completely unqualified people. Talk about nothing.

SPEAKER_03 0:05

And everything. Like we know what we're doing. Spoiler. We don't.

SPEAKER_00 0:11

So anyway. Yeah, let's keep going.

SPEAKER_02 0:13

Um, I didn't end up going to the appointment because there was no appointment. Um. But my uh therapist booked an appointment. We're back to the therapist. She booked an appointment at the same time that I thought the GI appointment was at the VA.

SPEAKER_00 0:34

Oh no.

SPEAKER_02 0:36

Uh, but it was supposed supposed to be a video visit, not an in-person visit. Um so I ended up canceling that because I don't know what's going on over there, bro. Like they obviously want to keep paying me money for being depressed because like they they're not solving my issues.

SPEAKER_03 1:04

So man, that sucks. I was looking forward to uh another story about your shtick.

SPEAKER_02 1:14

Yeah, I know. No. Um yeah, that but uh that's the oh man, the therapist. I I feel like they don't, and then there's this woman who calls me and I forget what her name is. It's like Gelinda, like she's like uh like the good witch. I I'm not sure. But um she sounds like she's not impressed by anything ever. She smokes three packs a day for sure. Raspy voice. And when she'll every time she says something, like, is your name Eric? And I'll be like, Yes. She's like, hold on a minute, and then she starts like clacking on a computer, but it sounds like the keyboard is the largest keyboard in existence. So like you just hear this click, click, click, click, click, click, click banging in your ear. It's so loud. And then she's like, Um, are you still at the same address? Yes. Okay, hold on a moment. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click.

SPEAKER_03 2:21

How about I'll let you know when I move? Because I'm sure it'll be a session. It's so strange.

SPEAKER_02 2:27

So I I don't know what's happening over there, but it's a nightmare. Um, and it was a nightmare under Biden, it was a nightmare under Trump. Nobody can fix this shit show. Um, maybe Bezos. We'll get Bezos involved. Yeah, maybe Bezos. Yeah, they'll just send a therapist to your home like in 24 hours or less.

SPEAKER_03 2:57

And they stay there, they live with you now.

SPEAKER_02 3:00

Oh, that sounds nice.

SPEAKER_03 3:03

You know what's so funny that you're about about this too? Uh, I just started the while watching the show Shrinking on Apple TV. Awesome show, but it's centered around this group of therapists. It's hilarious. And the one therapist in there talked about how this one client like won't give them anything, and he's just like always grumpy all the time. And the one the therapist was like, Oh, yeah, that's just his shtick. And I laughed so hard. That's so good. It was so good, it was so funny. Great show, highly recommend. Yeah, I heard it's a good show. You know, I didn't think Harrison Ford could pull off like comedy. He's amazing in it.

SPEAKER_00 3:41

Um, I'm trying to think. He's been in comedies before. Right? Has he?

SPEAKER_03 3:48

I don't know. I don't know. I couldn't think of anything off the top of my head, and I didn't bother Googling it because I don't really I don't really give a shit. But uh he just like yeah, he just like has this like stern persona and it really works in the show. It's really good. Yeah, um, I well, I he's funny in real life. Oh, he's hilarious in real life, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 4:07

Yeah, he's funny in real life, so I mean he must be able to pull it off. Um who what's the guy's name that's in the show? Uh Jason Jason Siegel? Jason Siegel, yeah, he's hilarious too.

SPEAKER_03 4:20

He's awesome in this show. And honestly, you start to see his like acting range because like on how I met your mother, it's a it's a silly sitcom. So, like, you know, there's there's not there's not a need to be like an actor in that. And this show he's really good. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 4:33

I never saw How I Met Your Mother. I thought it was stupid from the beginning.

SPEAKER_03 4:38

I saw two episodes of it and I was like, I get it.

SPEAKER_02 4:40

Well, the main character is a person. I obviously the main character is a person, uh, but it's a specific person, and then you've got Bob Saget narrating. That's right. What a weird choice. Yeah, like your voice doesn't change, like when you turn 80, your voice doesn't turn into Bob Sagitt's voice. Uh I mean, it might now. Well, as long as I get to swear and say off-color things all the time, sure. I'm cool. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:15

Do what you gotta do, man. Do it to God.

SPEAKER_02 5:19

Well, that's my therapist story.

SPEAKER_03 5:21

Well, nice, dude. Um, I don't really have so much of an update, but I I for some something jarred my memory today about this something hilarious that happened to me in Florida one time. This was like five years ago, maybe. Uh, in the morning, we were like going out doing something. So I'm with my brother, my sister-in-law, and then we're like, you know what? Let's grab some coffee on the way back to the place. So we swing around dunking donuts and we get in there up to the drive-thru. I'm in the passenger side, my brother's driving. And so he's like, Hey, can I get uh two coffees? And the employee over the intercom is like, Oh, yes. So we thought we we thought it we didn't hear him right. And then he's like, And I need a chai latte. And he goes, My goodness. So now we understand what's happening. So now we're dying in the front seat, and my brother tries to finish and he goes, I also need that with a cream and a sugar. He just goes, Oh, he's just talking about this. I was losing my shit. And I have told that story a billion times to everyone because it is just like the greatest experience. The best part about the whole thing is that our order was completely wrong and we didn't care at all because the customer service was so good. The whole experience was just fabulous.

SPEAKER_02 6:46

What's the comedian's name that does the like the man on the street or did it?

SPEAKER_03 6:51

Um Billy on the street, you mean?

SPEAKER_02 6:53

Is it Billy? Yeah, Billy Eichner, is if that's what you're talking about. He was in park parks and rec for a little while. Billy Eichner. That dude's for hilarious. I feel like he was working at Duncan.

SPEAKER_03 7:09

Honestly, it could have been. Yeah. This could have been a whole thing, he was a whole shtick he was doing.

SPEAKER_02 7:15

God, enough with the shticks. Nothing triggers me but the word shtick.

SPEAKER_03 7:22

Yeah, well, now I know. Now I know. Shouldn't have said that.

SPEAKER_02 7:28

Like, do you think this person does it to everyone, or are you just like, uh, my manager's gone for 10 minutes?

SPEAKER_03 7:33

I'm I'm just gonna fuck with people. You know, so other people have asked me this. I can't I can make a good argument for both. I hope it was just for us, but I also really like the thought of that guy bringing everyone joy and then just being absolute shit at executing.

SPEAKER_02 7:52

This has been a great experience. My coffee tastes like shit, but I'm happy.

SPEAKER_03 7:57

Yeah, I I ordered a coffee, not a donut. So you know what? It's great.

SPEAKER_00 8:06

That's funny.

SPEAKER_03 8:07

Anyways, um, that's all I have. I don't even know what reminded me of that story today, but that is such a good one.

SPEAKER_00 8:13

Did you go to Duncan?

SPEAKER_03 8:16

No.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

Oh not at all.

SPEAKER_02 8:18

I I can't remember the last time I went to Dunkin' Dodd.

SPEAKER_03 8:22

We got Tim Hortons up in this area, so ain't nobody going to Duncan.

SPEAKER_02 8:25

Oh, that's right. Oh god. You know what? I'll take that back. Tim Hortons version of the munchkins. Or is that what they're called? Munchkins?

SPEAKER_00 8:40

Yeah. Timbits.

SPEAKER_02 8:41

So much so much better. They have like a um like a cake batter one or something, or like birthday cake, I don't know. Something like the birthday cake one. So much better than Dunkin' Donuts Munchkins.

SPEAKER_03 8:57

Yeah, honestly, the Timbits are nice. I'll let I'll I'll text Tim. I'll let him know. Alright, yeah. Do you do you see him often? Mostly on MySpace, but I'll get I'll get in touch.

SPEAKER_02 9:13

That's so funny. Did you have a MySpace growing up?

SPEAKER_03 9:16

No, I never did. I wasn't into all that. Um Sam had a MySpace, and I have to like live vicariously through that.

SPEAKER_02 9:23

I yeah, I don't I have no idea. I don't even know what it is really, except it's like the cooler Facebook for bands.

SPEAKER_03 9:33

Yeah, it was a more customizable Facebook, to my understanding. So you could like you could like jailbreak it and like set music when people go to your page, like a song plays. And then there's like your what is it, your five or whatever, like your five best friends, and it was always this big drama if you moved one of them down the list. Oh man, I would have done that all the time. Oh my all the time. I would have had so much fun with that. Let's get on MySpace. It wouldn't, yeah. Is is MySpace still a thing? I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 10:03

We should find that out. I just know the guy who sold it made a lot of money. Good for him.

SPEAKER_00 10:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:11

And now he's like a photographer or something. Ah, gofa. What was that? You know, goofah. I loved it by the way, but I'm just you really you triggered me again. Someone's gotta keep this thing fucking floating, dude. Yeah. Well, if you keep carrying us like this, your back's gonna be as weak as mine.

SPEAKER_03 10:39

My little tiny back. Don't do that to me.

SPEAKER_02 10:45

Um, any regrets this week?

SPEAKER_03 10:48

Uh yes. Uh so we have that we do this awesome event with work every year. We our our boss pays uh for us to kind of go to the casino and there's like a banquet dinner there. It's super nice, and then he gets a room for everyone there, so you know we can go play a few of the games, have a bunch of drinks, and not have to worry about getting home. It's really awesome. Um, but every year we are down and drinking and having fun until like 4 30 in the morning. And this I my uh my little heart can't take it anymore.

SPEAKER_02 11:18

Well, uh didn't you take the day off before?

SPEAKER_03 11:21

Just to sleep? Uh yeah. Well, to to to prepare well for the Saturday night. Eat some pasta, you know, carb up. Yeah, carbo load. Uh yeah, it's uh the really the day that's the next day, right? So it's on a Saturday. The Sunday is just lost. And in my maybe in my younger years, I would have loved all that stuff. Like, I think we've all kind of been there where we had a little a few too many, a couple too tree, and ended up going to work the next morning, like you know, whatever shitty job you had at the time. All been there, all awesome. Now there's nothing I hate more than doing that. I hate myself so much the next day. I like wanted to do things, and then the whole next day we both did absolutely nothing. We were in the bedroom, we have like these blackout blinds, we closed all the doors, and we were just sitting there in pitch black, like watching some stupid documentary on what a bitch Tyra Banks is, and like that was my whole day. Uh that sounds like a great day. It really was a great day. I just wish I didn't feel like shit doing it. Like if I if I didn't like have a headache and that whole thing, and we just did that, that might be my A number one best day.

SPEAKER_02 12:39

Who doesn't want to sit around and find out how much of a bitch Tyra Banks is? Who?

SPEAKER_03 12:45

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 12:46

Yeah, and dude, everyone.

SPEAKER_03 12:48

Let me tell you, secrets were revealed in this documentary about America's next top model. I was locked in. Locked in the whole time. Oh, she's a bitch.

SPEAKER_02 13:03

Oh, well, I you know what that makes sense. I feel like she's like publicly publicly been kind of a bitch before. Like, so we've seen you know a window into that. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 13:17

Yeah. And her personality, unbearable. So I glad she's a bitch. Unbearable. Oh, she's unbearable.

SPEAKER_02 13:26

The only thing I remember is um about Tyra Banks. The only thing I remember is on the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, she was not very nice to Will Smith. Maybe she knew something that we didn't know at the time, but I guess he deserved it.

SPEAKER_03 13:46

You know, that does that that does track. Um, I don't think she's nice to anybody though, and I think she's also dumb. So I don't think she knew the future. I don't think she knew the future on that one. Uh, I think she just says that way to everybody. Um but I loved every second of it. All right. I'm I'm glad you enjoyed your day.

SPEAKER_02 14:12

Yeah, I remember I remember a time in the Marine Corps and all of us would just be getting shitty, drinking beers till two in the morning. We'd go to sleep for like two hours, wake up at 4 30, and go run six miles. Like like beasts.

SPEAKER_00 14:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:33

And now, and now I'd I'd have one drink the night before, and I can't even pick up a pencil for two days.

SPEAKER_03 14:42

Yeah. So the best thing right now is Sam's like, oh man, I'm just getting so old, I can't drink like I used to. I'm like, what'd you have to drink tonight? How many drinks? She goes, six. But then I recant them. I'm like, okay, she started out with this cucumber shitty nonsense. Then she and then right from there, we got into two glasses of red wine. Then we had like some dessert liqueur, like a lemon cello right after that. And then we go over to this other place, and she had two espresso martinis. I'm like, no, it's not because you're old, it's because you've made terrible choices today.

SPEAKER_02 15:14

Yeah, all that sounds disgusting. What are you doing? It's can you imagine putting all that in your body? Ugh, no. Ugh. Yeah, yeah. Like it's it's like you're drinking like two bags of gummy worms. Yeah, it's a terrible idea. Yeah, sugar and alcohol. It's a terrible idea. Um, but I will say, uh, like what we did up at the finger legs, how we always do it. Um, you drink until you pass out, wake up, start drinking, and you feel great until you stop drinking. And I could I could do that for days, I think.

SPEAKER_03 15:51

Oh yeah, man. Give me a good uh a good whole like we were just together uh in uh Canada iguana.

SPEAKER_02 15:58

Yeah, yeah, Canada iguana.

SPEAKER_03 16:00

Give me a good all day where I can drink like beers just pretty much the whole day, but it never gets overboard. It's just feeling great all day. Oh, no problems with that.

SPEAKER_02 16:12

Yeah. And I like to mix in the uh the tequila mules, so and I do fine. But once I I stop drinking, it's I'd rather be dead.

SPEAKER_00 16:26

Dude, I hear you. I hear that. I feel that, and I'm here with you.

SPEAKER_02 16:34

I'm gonna start sending you money. Uh you're so much you're so much better than my therapist at the VI. Um how does that make you feel?

SPEAKER_00 16:46

Kind of like I've been wasting my entire life. It's been all a waste. I'll send you my Venmail. Well, I'm not gonna pay. You didn't tell me how to feel about that.

SPEAKER_03 17:02

That is that's not to me to decide. That is up to you to decide. You're just as bad as she is.

SPEAKER_02 17:07

Um, I I figured out uh uh why I'm off today. It's because I'm not I'm not wearing a black hoodie.

SPEAKER_03 17:17

I was gonna I was gonna comment that this is the first time in this podcast that you look like you showered and changed. This wow.

SPEAKER_02 17:31

Um listen, uh I gotta go. I'll see you later. I gotta go. I gotta go. Um I know, it's so weird, but this is proof for anybody who's watching. I'm not a cartoon.

SPEAKER_00 17:50

Yeah. I change clothes. Yeah.

unknown 17:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:54

Cartoon, cartoons don't change their clothes.

SPEAKER_03 17:58

Even in our cartoon, you are wearing a black hoodie. Yeah. That's so true.

SPEAKER_02 18:09

But that's why I'm feeling off. And you know what? This is such a dumb sweatshirt. It's a little too big for me. And I look like the state par the state puff marshmallow man, but melting.

SPEAKER_03 18:23

Yeah, you're definitely not as definitely not as massive or enormous as as that guy is. Um, I think you look great, dude.

SPEAKER_02 18:30

Oh, I appreciate it. It's just uh, yeah, I'm not um not a fan of this look, apparently. Um I like my black hoodie. I feel like it was a statement, and um I'm not making one.

SPEAKER_03 18:43

Great. Yeah, I feel like that might be your signature, dude. And we you we can always get our wardrobe department involved.

SPEAKER_00 18:49

Alright. Okay, I'll tell the cat.

SPEAKER_02 18:53

Because uh we can't afford a wardrobe department, but the cat just lives here. So uh so I went out to dinner on Sunday night, and um, it was a last minute thing. My my my cousin was like, Hey, do you guys want to go out to dinner? Because my little cousin Ella won a big basketball game, and she's going to the finals. Um and she is crushing it the last couple weeks. She's just playing really well, and um she's just such a badass, especially on defense. But we went out to celebrate, and um we end up going to this well-known steakhouse in Danbury. Uh, I'm not gonna mention the name, um, but it's very well known. It's a steakhouse in Danbury. The Olive Garden. And we should have. So we go to the steakhouse, and I'm like, um, like, I'm not a big fan of the place. It's decent food. I think they charge too much. Um but whatever. Like, I was happy to go because I was happy to see everybody. And um, we get there, we order our food, they have a uh they have a salad bar, so everybody goes to the salad bar. We're all enjoying our time. Uh we got our orders in, drinks are good. Uh hour and a half later, still no food. Still no food. Yikes. So um there were four filet eight ounce filet mignons ordered, two other steaks, and I think two burgers ordered. And it took them an hour and a half, which I don't understand. But whatever.

SPEAKER_03 20:46

Shouldn't take anything more than eight minutes.

SPEAKER_02 20:50

Well, I'll give him uh I'll give him 45. How about that?

SPEAKER_01 20:56

Generous.

SPEAKER_02 20:57

Yeah, we'll meet in the middle. But um, so the food starts coming out, and our waitress, who's been wonderful the entire time, is not the one bringing our food. It's some other woman. And she's being so nasty to everybody. Like what a Tyra Banks well, yeah, exactly. If I knew what you were talking about, that's what I would have said. But I didn't watch the documentary. But she was being a straight bitch to every single person at the table, and it kind of like really like it really pissed me off, especially she she was so rude to my sister, and that really pisses me off.

SPEAKER_01 21:36

Oh, I don't like that.

SPEAKER_02 21:38

No. Um, I'm pretty protective of my sister, and I was that pissed me the fuck off. But everybody's food was either overcooked or undercooked. Now, you're cooking an eight ounce filet mignon, that's not difficult to cook. Like, that's really simple. Like

SPEAKER_03 22:00

And you're charging fifty-two dollars for this. Oh, is that kind of place? No. Unacceptable.

SPEAKER_02 22:07

Unacceptable. So I I was pissed. The waitress came over. Um, our waitress, her name was Megan. She was amazing. Um, and I was like, listen, I just gotta tell you, this is ridiculous. Um, the food's undercooked or overcooked. It took forever to get out here. You're charging $52. And she's like, Well, I'm so sorry, blah, blah, blah. You know, uh, you know, very apologetic, very nice. And I was like, Well, honestly, like, none of this is your fault. You shouldn't be apologizing. Somebody else should be coming over to the table apologizing, even before I can even give a complaint. But instead, this other person came over, delivered the food, and was a bitch to all of us. So I guess I really upset her. So, so, like 10 minutes later, the bartender comes over and she said, I just want to let you know that Megan told me what happened. She's really upset, and I agree with you. Somebody should come over and apologize, but they're not going to. So um I appreciate your candor. Yeah. And she's like, uh the person who's here, if we tell them what's happening, he'll start screaming at Megan. And I don't want that to happen. So I'm just gonna take care of your bill. And I'm like very concerned at this point that I got this woman in trouble, and I feel like an ass. Like, not that like I shouldn't have said something because the service and the food were not fifty-two dollars an eight-ounce steak. You know, it like that's not it. We got standards here, people. Like, don't charge me a $52 $52 for a steak and not have it on time and not have it cooked well. 100%. So she's like, I'm gonna take care of the whole bill, um, but nobody's gonna come over here. I'm gonna have somebody call you tomorrow because he's just gonna start screaming. But now I'm like, why did like what is happening at this place where you're afraid to tell your manager or whoever's managing that night that somebody was rude and the kitchen sucks. Like, you shouldn't be afraid to do that. Like, what what's happening in this restaurant?

SPEAKER_03 24:33

So there's a there's a lot of problems here. Please continue.

SPEAKER_02 24:36

Yeah, there's a lot to unpack. But um my thing is is uh she paid for the meal, the whole thing, which it had to be like 450, 500 bucks, maybe. I don't know. Um but I I what's I I it's it's kind of a regret because I felt bad because I have no idea what happened to this the waitress, because she did an incredible job. It's the rest of the restaurant that I wish I could just be like, you guys blow.

SPEAKER_00 25:12

So that's my regret. Okay, let's unpack some of this here.

SPEAKER_03 25:20

Well, because the thing is the restaurant industry is tough, and I get it. But if you have the audacity to charge $52 for a steak, it better come out the right way. I mean, that's just you know, that's that's just what it is. I it I know for both of us in our own kitchens, we would never screw up that steak. I understand it's just one, but you've witnessed you've witnessed me cook 15 of them at one time on a charcoal grill and they all came out perfect. So they can do it when it's their full-time job. Absolutely. That is not to say people don't make mistakes, and maybe we did overcook one. And if it's brought to your attention, the right thing to do for a $52 steak is to say, I am so sorry. Let me refire you one right now. It's on the house. Oh, that's that's oh yeah, I didn't even tell you that.

SPEAKER_02 26:12

Um so one of the steaks that were undercooked, they sent back. Did they re-fire a new one? Nope. They threw the one that was cut in half back on the grill.

SPEAKER_00 26:26

No. No.

SPEAKER_03 26:29

I could just no. That is not the that is not the assignment. The assignment is to redo the steak I ordered, I paid for. Right. Oh my god, I am oh why am I itchy?

SPEAKER_02 26:43

I'm itchy now. Yeah, me too. At the thought of terrible food and terrible service, it makes me itchy too.

SPEAKER_03 26:51

You know what we should do? Should write in to that restaurant bragging about how great Megan was. It sounds like she was phenomenal. How great that bartender was, sounds like she was phenomenal. But talk about we should mention like the experience was overall terrible. The only reason you'd consider going just write this. The only reason you'd consider going back is for Megan. But that that's just unacceptable, man.

SPEAKER_02 27:16

This is not a bad idea, but I'm gonna have to um I'm gonna have to like create an email account just to do this.

SPEAKER_03 27:28

Yeah, I mean you can't it's you're right, because you can't put your name to it because that'd be a product. Yeah, uh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:34

My my whole email address is just my name, basically.

SPEAKER_03 27:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:40

Um, so why do people do that?

SPEAKER_03 27:42

I don't understand. What a bad idea. Right. I don't know. Uh, but kind of getting back into this a little bit, what is going on within that restaurant that we can't be honest about mistakes that are made? That this girl's gonna get screamed at by somebody, which she doesn't deserve it. She's not the one back there cooking the food. I know it's a big deal.

SPEAKER_02 28:01

It's it's really weird. I like I'm I'm scared for all everybody involved.

SPEAKER_03 28:08

Yeah, that that really bothers me that there might be a workplace that's gonna ream this girl out because a customer has a legitimate problem with the meal. Now, if we're at a friggin' Applebee's or some shit, whatever, all bets are off. Shouldn't be ordering a steak there anyway, they microwave it. But it's but when you're at a a nice establishment like that with a lot of people, it just it should be ready. And it's oh it's all it's also okay. We don't know, maybe this the chef quit earlier that day and they're just trying to figure it out. But it's also okay to be like, I'm so sorry, let's retry this and get it right, man. It's okay. Right. I agree completely. I I don't expect perfection. Like if we're going to a place like that, that's kind of like a more fine dining experience. I don't expect perfection, I just expect effort. So if it comes out wrong, it comes out. I I've luckily never been in the position to have to send something back, but if it comes out really bad and it's expensive, we can all just be like, it's okay. Let's let's just get the next one right.

SPEAKER_00 29:12

Yeah, I agree completely.

SPEAKER_02 29:14

But the last two days I've just felt terrible because I'm like, what happened to Megan? Yeah. Like, did she get yelled at? What happened? I don't know. Because they were supposed, I gave them my phone number and my name, and nobody ever called me. She was like, somebody will call me, call you in the morning. No, never happened.

SPEAKER_03 29:31

That's exactly why you should write the letter. It's not Megan's fault that you didn't follow through.

SPEAKER_02 29:37

That's true. I don't know. Uh I just I hope she gets out of there because it put it sounds like a terrible workplace, and she deserves better.

SPEAKER_03 29:47

Listen, Megan, if you're watching, we hear you, we got you. She's not watching. Yeah, nobody is.

SPEAKER_02 29:56

No, nobody, nobody's watching. Uh, that's okay. Um, I'll uh I like doing this for our for each other. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:06

I agree.

SPEAKER_02 30:07

Um so we gotta get into some uninformed takes. Um you want to talk about Iran? Or hang on.

SPEAKER_01 30:20

Hang on.

SPEAKER_03 30:24

First of all, let me unveil my topic later. Oh, okay. Um I maybe it's better. Maybe it's better actually to start with my thing. Okay, sure.

SPEAKER_02 30:36

Whatever you want to do.

SPEAKER_03 30:38

Because honestly, I've had an extremely busy two weeks. I have not had the time to read into your topic, so I'd like to learn from you. Um so let me start. Are you aware that vegetables don't exist? Vegetables aren't a thing. Are you aware of this? I am unaware. Vegetables are a uh a category of vernacular, if you will, created by markets and grocery stores to like delineate foods a little bit easier, but nothing is actually a vegetable. Name I can prove it. Name something that you historically think is a vegetable.

SPEAKER_00 31:23

Um man, this is tough.

SPEAKER_02 31:28

Um name any vegetable. Yeah, but I know where you're going with this, so I'm scared.

SPEAKER_03 31:38

Don't be scared, baby. I got you. Daddy's got you.

SPEAKER_02 31:40

I if I'm gonna if I'm gonna pick a vegetable, um I'm gonna I'm gonna say carrot. Carrot. Well, carrot's a root. It's a root vegetable.

SPEAKER_03 31:53

Yeah, but it's just a root, right? Like a potato is a root. Like that's the category they actually fall under. It's a tuber.

SPEAKER_00 32:02

A tuber. Yeah, I know that that's it. It is. I love it. The great SAT word. Let me um. Celery.

SPEAKER_03 32:19

Uh celery being uh being that it is a stalk would be, I believe it's also a root as well. But it's not like like vegetable itself isn't the category.

SPEAKER_00 32:34

All right. Like like you like bell pepper, for example.

SPEAKER_03 32:40

Those are fruits. Fruits. Yeah, because they have seeds in fruit. Correct, tomatoes are fruit.

SPEAKER_00 32:46

Yeah, cucumbers as well. Cucumbers as well, green bean, legume. Um broccoli.

SPEAKER_03 32:58

Falls in the in this I forget the name of it right now, but it falls in the category that the that uh the celery does.

SPEAKER_00 33:06

A bush.

SPEAKER_02 33:08

A bush. All right, well, all right, but don't we do that for everything?

SPEAKER_03 33:17

Yeah, I'm not saying there's any problem with it. I just think that people should know. All right. You don't you don't have a problem with it though. That's good. No, I'm I got no problem with it. It's just give legumes their flowers, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 33:32

I mean, I guess we could yeah, I guess we could start just naming them properly.

SPEAKER_03 33:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:41

Snap peas, not my favorite vegetable. It's my favorite legume. All right. Broccoli, not my favorite bush, but it is a bush. Yes. That means two things. Yes, George W. Um, George W, that's your favorite bush? Um no, I I think it would have to be the fern. The fern is your f no, a fern is a fern, it's not a bush.

SPEAKER_03 34:15

All right, now what is a bush? Is it or is this is this the whole vegetable thing again?

SPEAKER_02 34:20

I'm not sure. I I I think we just found the beginning of a new game.

SPEAKER_03 34:29

Yes. If you're wondering what we're talking about with our game, please refer to the last episode, two episodes ago, episode three, four, uh who knows? Episode three. Yeah. Episode three at checkout our games. There'll be a link below.

SPEAKER_00 34:47

Link below in the description. Zoology for morons. Um yeah, I don't know. Um, all right.

SPEAKER_03 34:57

Vegetables aren't a thing. It's not that interesting. No one's gonna listen to this part. Let's go to Iran. It's not that interesting.

SPEAKER_02 35:06

Um before we get to um like the fun stuff, um, what do you know what a strawberry is?

SPEAKER_03 35:17

So, okay, so a strawberry is a very interesting one because the seeds are on the outside. It's actually not a fruit.

SPEAKER_01 35:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:24

Um, but there is a subcategory of berries where all of those fall under. Like uh, I think raspberry is in that too, blackberry.

SPEAKER_02 35:32

Oh, um uh I don't know anything about that, but uh I always thought uh the strawberry was a pseudo fruit. I thought that's what it was called.

SPEAKER_03 35:43

Oh, that the yeah, yes. Pseudo fruit because it we historically think about it as a fruit, but it's really not. Um I forget which category the strawberries fall into. Uh but tomatoes, fun fact for you. The tomatoes that you find at the grocery store do not exist in nature. Those are all genetically modified to look like that. Now, if you're at if you're looking at heirloom tomatoes, those ones are the ones that you will find in nature, but you will not find the Roma, the beefsteak, any of that. Those are all genetically modified to be the tomatoes that they are. So people talk about Yeah, me too. When people talk about, oh, I don't want anything genetically modified, like, all right. Enjoy your tomato soup.

SPEAKER_02 36:26

Yeah, uh I yeah, I don't understand, I don't understand the whole genetic genetically GMO thing. I can't talk. Um like what are we mad at? Like corn used to be grass, and now we have corn, and that was done like a thousand years ago. Yeah, it has the juice. Stop bitching. Like you you have like every option of food available to you all year round, whenever you want. Shut up and eat.

SPEAKER_03 36:59

Yeah, and corn grows anywhere. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 37:03

Yeah, what are we complaining about?

SPEAKER_03 37:05

I don't know. It's so much corn. Uh the same problem. But like the the tomato thing. The well, don't you remember like maybe like 15 years ago, the GMO, genetically modified fruits or whatever? Uh, that was such a buzzword, like it was such a big deal. But when you really break it down, it doesn't, it's not, it's just making the foods that we eat more sustainable, more growable. Right. Which makes them cheaper, which makes that like it's the same nutritional value. If you go to find an heirloom tomato at the store, you're paying almost double, if not triple, what you're paying for, like your beefsteak tomato. And I don't know about you. On my burger, I would like a beefsteak.

SPEAKER_00 37:42

Yeah, I want a beefsteak, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:44

Pause. You should put an heirloom tomato on your burger. That that was wrong. What I said was wrong, and I apologize to the entire audience base. Oh, really?

SPEAKER_02 37:55

I I'm I just know you want a round red tomato.

SPEAKER_03 38:02

Yeah, put an heirloom tomato on that bitch and let me know.

SPEAKER_02 38:06

Yeah. Well, well, we don't make burgers though all too often, but the next time we're together, we'll do it. We'll we'll we'll do both and see what's happening here.

SPEAKER_03 38:16

We'll shoot an episode and have a taste test.

SPEAKER_02 38:19

I'm gonna tell you though, I am not putting Swiss cheese on my burger. I don't care what you say. That's okay. That is okay, sweetie. Your burger theory has holes in it just like your cheese.

SPEAKER_03 38:34

All right. Well, you know, I guess me and Gordon Ramsey are both morons.

SPEAKER_00 38:39

No.

SPEAKER_03 38:40

Gordon Ramsay is definitely not. Speaking of documentaries, though, he's got a documentary out right now. I cannot wait to watch.

SPEAKER_02 38:50

I'm excited to watch it, but also I'm like, why do I give a shit?

SPEAKER_03 38:55

This is a great, a great point. I cannot go down this rabbit hole because we got to talk about Iran.

SPEAKER_02 39:00

You're right. Okay. Well, uh I to be honest with you, I don't exactly know how I feel about what's happening in Iran right now. So I wanted to see if you had any feelings and then I could kind of respond because I'm like I'm really stuck between um like pragmatism and being practical and my own principles, like my my libertarian leaning. So I'm really not sure where I'm how I'm feeling about any of this right now.

SPEAKER_03 39:31

So let me tell you what I know, and again, with this is our uninformed take, so I am legitimately uninformed about this subject right now. I want to just like declare that. What I I I guess I'm not understanding is the the little bits that I do know about this, I believe the conflict is largely centered around their uh Iran's ability to make weaponry.

SPEAKER_00 39:55

Sure. Yes, sort of. Um it's at least that in part. If I have that right. Didn't we just obliterate their facilities list last summer? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 40:12

Yeah, we bombed Sordo and destroyed any future possibility basically of them having a nuclear weapon. Yeah. And then also Israel took out like their ballistic missile capability during the 12-day war.

SPEAKER_00 40:31

So sure, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:33

So I guess what is what what is the problem? What what is the problem? All right, so here's what I'm seeing, okay? So um the leadership in Iran, uh they basically were like, well, we're still gonna do it. We want a weapon, and we're gonna continue. Well, no, they're not saying we want a weapon, they're saying we want a nuclear program uh for energy, right? Then but the problem is is a civilian nuclear program can easily be turned into a military one, right? 100%. So there was some negotiating back and forth. I believe it was today the president came out and said um during the negotiations, he felt that Iran was actually gonna make a move first. So uh he pushed Israel into striking, and I think some of that is a little bit of him trying to fix Marco Rubio's statements about how Israel kind of pushed us into this war, but I really could care less about any of that. I like I don't think that the world revolves around Israel and that anytime Israel says something, we do it. Um I I just don't think that's true. Um so I think I this is my opinion.

SPEAKER_00 42:03

Hold on, let me let me take a step back.

SPEAKER_02 42:07

All right, this is what I think. Um Donald Trump painted painted himself into a corner a few weeks ago when he said if Iran starts murdering people in the streets that the US will attack and go to war and do something and stop them, right? Uh and the problem is is uh tons of time went by. They were killing people in the streets and nothing really happened, just a lot of talk from our administration. And geopolitically, the way I see it is Russia and China are both watching to see what happens. So if we do absolutely nothing, that'll be a signal to Russia. All right, we can step things up in Ukraine. If we do nothing, China sees it as a signal, we can move on Taiwan. And I think Donald Trump painted himself into a corner, and this was inevitable.

SPEAKER_00 43:13

That's what I think. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 43:19

I mean, I that that sounds reasonable because I mean I don't think it's a secret that sometimes Donald Trump can like talk out of his ass a little bit and then create some problems for himself. Um but then then I I guess is this a is this is this necessary that well I guess it would be necessary now that he said those things and we can't we can't let China make moves on Taiwan, we can't let Russia step it up in Ukraine. So I guess it is necessary, but uh outside of that, what's the goal?

SPEAKER_02 43:57

I think the g ultimate goal for I think the United States and Israel is regime change to finally have an Iran that isn't I guess you could say the number one state sponsor of terrorism all around the world. I don't know how accurate that statement is, but that's what most people say. Um I mean they uh don't get me wrong, they're they sponsor terrorism, um, and they're a major player. But uh I don't want to say number one, because uh I'll keep those thoughts to myself. But um so I think that's the ultimate goal here, right? Um because the Iranian people they don't like uh the leadership in Iran, they don't like the Ayatollahs or the Supreme Leader who they're all dead now anyway. Um over the weekend, I mean Israel and the US obliterated the leadership in Iran.

SPEAKER_00 45:04

What was I saying? Where was I going with this? I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 45:12

Oh well, I was just wondering what your your thoughts are, because I can't so my thing is is like Donald Trump especially ran on no new wars, that he was gonna be a president of peace. I mean, he's constantly almost flat out saying that he should get the Nobel Peace Prize. Um and I just don't know how I feel about I you know what I might I was I'm not a fan of what happened in Venezuela. I think what he did was completely wrong. Um but Iran, I'm just torn because like I don't feel like the president has the authority to do what he's doing. Yes, the president does have the authority to make military strikes and uh movements for 60 days without the authorization of Congress, but uh like there's a reason for that. Like, if something happens and we have to make do a strike or something like that, uh you know, we don't want to have to wait around for Congress to deliberate. We make moves for the for national security and then we go to Congress. But here, every single president in our lifetime has really stepped over that line and used it for something that it wasn't intended to to be used for. So I like I I just have a problem with this. I think I do.

SPEAKER_03 46:50

Yeah, I I think I uh agree with you. So so part of my problem with Donald Trump is he says things in absolutes, and there's zero way he can follow through on them. Like saying no new wars, and we're running on no new wars. Well, you you you can't guarantee that. There's no possible way you can guarantee that.

SPEAKER_02 47:12

And so, like I just I guess the campaign was I'm not gonna go out and start a new war like every other president before him. Yeah, but you still can't guarantee that. I mean, you can I think if I was president, I could guarantee that I wasn't going to start a war. But what if you have to? Then that would mean I didn't start it.

SPEAKER_03 47:38

Not necessarily. If there's if there is conflict between between two ally nations and uh between an ally and not, like that might be something we have to get involved in. That might be something that we like we can't first of all, I don't really know that it's our job to police the world. Um right, I only think it's our job to police what might affect our interests. And I and I think that's what makes our random complicated, because I think that they don't like America, and I think that there's a lot of terrorist groups that want to do us harm, and so we have to be cognizant of that. Um I don't know. I I think he I think he has historically said a lot of things that he was unable to follow through on, um, because I I I do think he tries to pander to his demographic, um, which has seemingly worked. Uh but for for this case.

SPEAKER_00 48:29

Yeah, but all presidents pander to their base. I think that's true. I don't know well I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 48:42

I don't know, because I I think in a lot of in a lot of ways it it can come across that way. Especially so, like Joe Biden, for example, yeah, he's gonna agree with a lot of things that Democrats say. Uh but the infrastructure bill is an example of like that playing out in execution where that was not the case. Infrastructure bill disproportionately put more funds into red states because they needed the infrastructure more. So, like sure. Um, I I have not seen any of that from Donald Trump. He actively talks about how Democrats are the problem. He actively talks about how they're Democrats are bad people, and this is him talking live.

SPEAKER_02 49:28

This is these are his words. I don't want to get into a debate about Donald Trump and what he does and doesn't do, right? Um I could point to a million Democrats that have called him and his followers or supporters Hitler, Nazis, that sort of thing. So And that's that's correct too. And that's wrong both.

SPEAKER_03 49:49

And that's wrong also. That happens too. Yeah, no, but it happens on both sides.

SPEAKER_02 49:54

I just don't think totally agree. I don't in this case, I don't think it's him pandering to his base. I think he truly here's my one thought. He knew that these negotiations were gonna happen, so he created the red line. Don't murder people in the streets, or I'm gonna have to get involved, so that he could get involved. That is a total possibility because I know nobody thinks he's a smart person. Uh I I disagree with that completely. I think he's a very, very smart person. Um and I think he does know how to use negotiations to get other things accomplished. Um so I don't know if that's what he was doing. I think, but he didn't no matter what his his reasoning was, he painted himself into a corner. He had to do something.

SPEAKER_03 50:48

Yeah, well, I guess that points out why I don't think he's very good at negotiating.

SPEAKER_00 50:54

Oh, I I disagree with that.

SPEAKER_03 50:56

Because if you're if you're a really good negotiator, you don't release, you don't paint yourself into a corner.

SPEAKER_02 51:03

Well, that's why I said I could I could absolutely believe that he m created the red line so that he had to he had to do something.

SPEAKER_03 51:14

Oh, you so you think he did that on purpose to give us a reason to strike.

SPEAKER_02 51:19

I'm not sure if he did. I'm not saying I think I but I wouldn't No, but you you but you think it's a strategy. I I I would say that that I don't I wouldn't put it past him. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_03 51:32

I don't know for sure. No, no, of course. Like we would none of us will know for sure. I just think it's an interesting take, and I I just want to understand. Um yeah, I I I don't know. I think that conflict in Iran was gonna be inevitable at some point, no matter what. It doesn't really matter which who president like what which president's in office, it doesn't matter if it happened now, 10 years from now. I think conflict in Iran is gonna be inevitable. Um I mean, I don't and I honestly I don't really know that it'll ever resolve. Because it's not like anyone's really addressing the root cause, the root problems, which is their government overall, because it's really not our place to go in and completely change their government. It's also not, even if we did, and like we tried to do uh before in like Iraq and a pet and Pakistan, like try to like create a democratic uh uh kind of a government uh that's just not what they're accustomed to. So they don't, it's just not especially with terrorist organizations being as powerful as they are, it's just not gonna work. You can't just like say, here's how this works, see you later, and then expect it to work out. I just don't I think conflict is inevitable.

SPEAKER_02 52:47

Well, I think what is happening is um, you know, Israel, the US, and other allies are really um uh you know hoping that the Iranian people um will take it upon themselves to restructure the government, create something else that's a little more friendly to um you know the Middle East, Israel, you know, specifically. Um and I think that's the hope. Um and honestly, I mean uh heads of I mean they've killed everyone. Like um all all the um people who are in charge of Iran, the military, the the basically I can't remember what the hell I don't remember. The IRGC, the like the Praetorian Guard of the Supreme Leader, um killed the heads there. So um I mean, I so I don't know if they can because each time they get together to vote on more people, we end up killing them. So eventually there's not gonna be anybody left to run the place. So yeah, like I guess that's the hope that uh Iranian people figure it out and create something that's a little more friendly um in that area to Israel and the US and you know, and also, you know, the other Middle Eastern countries in the area.

SPEAKER_03 54:21

Yeah. I mean it's just a it's just a um there the the Middle East in general, their their customs and their culture, um and their their way of living life and going through government is just so vastly different from ours. And I I don't know that I don't know that it's actually achievable to to quote unquote fix that. I also don't really know that it's our job to fix that at the same time, poses a lot of national security risks for us, so you do have to get involved. I just think it's really, really complicated, man.

SPEAKER_02 54:58

It's so complicated. I find it very interesting, and I wish I was uh one of those smart people that really knew exactly how to feel and what to think about this. Um like I'm a big fan of uh I don't know, do you follow Dave Smith at all?

SPEAKER_03 55:13

Um, I know the name, I don't know that I follow him.

SPEAKER_02 55:16

Uh I'm a big fan. Uh he's you know, I've followed him for years, and uh like whenever I have like I don't know, I'm not sure about something, like my libertarian view on it on a thing, I kind of see what he's had said about it, and but he's just like uh no no no new wars, period, uh no war, you know, um this is just gonna cause loss of life, and um it's Israel's fault, and everything Israel basically guides foreign policy here in the United States, and I just think like it's his shtick now, if you will, since you know that's the theme today, uh is that uh like Israel in his mind Israel is is responsible for all the bad deeds that go on in the world, and um so I I can't even listen to him because it's just ridiculous. Because my thing is is sure, like if polit geopolitics happen in a vacuum, you're absolutely right. But like the things we do and don't do have consequences, and you know, China and Russia they're waiting, they're looking for weakness, and once they see it, um, I think they'll go whole hog and um you know do whatever they want, basically, because uh the United States is is weak and not a threat anymore.

SPEAKER_00 56:47

Yeah, that's how they'll view it.

SPEAKER_03 56:50

So that's how you but you don't think any of this could have been accomplished without war. I have no idea. Right. I guess that's where that this is the hard part, right? The hindsight is 2020. There's I would struggle to believe that uh conversations wouldn't have gotten us somewhere. Um maybe they wouldn't, and then we're we'd be up there, we'd be there anyway. The problem that I think I have is that um I don't know that those conversations took place. I haven't really seen anything about that. Um I haven't seen an alternate solution. Um and I also have from the last like five presidents, I haven't seen a plan. Like nobody has a plan for how this should go down, for how do we resolve this? It's almost like we're okay with the inevitability of war, because I think at the end of the day, war is good for the economy, and which is a really unfortunate thing. Right.

SPEAKER_02 57:54

It's also good for your um your poll, your poll numbers.

SPEAKER_03 57:59

Yeah, it's really good for swaying elections. And and that's really that's really shitty.

SPEAKER_02 58:05

Interestingly enough, in this case, it's not. I was reading today, I think it's 24 or 27 percent of Americans support the war in Iran.

SPEAKER_03 58:16

Very interesting.

SPEAKER_02 58:18

I mean, it's pretty much an 80-20 issue. Like nobody wanted to do this, um except for our leadership.

SPEAKER_00 58:28

Yeah, and that that worries me a lot.

SPEAKER_03 58:32

I don't think it's a secret. Oh, go ahead. Go ahead. Um, I I I it worries me a lot. Um I don't have a lot of trust in this leadership. Um maybe maybe it's unjustified, and I can I'll I'll listen to arguments about that. Um for me, I have not seen a lot in the way that the president articulates that would give me a lot of confidence. The way that he behaves, the way that he he acts. I just it doesn't give me a lot of confidence. Um, and especially with the the problems that we've seen throughout uh this this past year.

SPEAKER_00 59:09

Right. Um you know, I don't I don't know. It doesn't it doesn't feel great. Um I don't know. It doesn't feel great.

SPEAKER_02 59:21

Politics are not supposed to feel great. You're gonna have to get used to that.

SPEAKER_03 59:26

Oh yeah, they almost always feel terrible.

SPEAKER_02 59:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 59:30

Kick in the nads again.

SPEAKER_02 59:31

Yeah, always exactly. Um uh all right. Well, I this is gonna go on for the next uh 30 to 60 days anyway, so we'll get to talk about this more. Um, but we really should try to move on.

SPEAKER_03 59:45

Um but yeah, it's we've got something a little lighter.

SPEAKER_02 59:48

Yeah, I I I am I I really wanted to hear your take because I'm I'm struggling to figure out how I feel about things.

SPEAKER_03 59:56

Yeah, let me do a little more research this week and then like I'll come up with a something that I can like hold to. Because right now, I just don't know enough. Um, and to for anybody that might be listening, that's okay. It's okay to just say that you don't you're not informed on this subject and and you go ahead and go learn about it and and and do your own reading. Uh, I highly recommend.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:17

Well we're looking at we we advertise. We're like we got we have no credentials, we don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:23

Yeah, I mean, yeah, but I still think it's responsible, right? To go do your own research, don't only read the news that you agree with or that that that is trying to uh to um make you feel like you know what's going on. Go go and and read everything, some opposing views, and and try to think about it. Um that's what I do at least.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:42

I like to I uh take Ben Shapiro's advice on this. Um and what he says is if he writes an article about something, I should read it, right? And then I've got to find an article, you know, on the left about the same exact thing, and whatever they agree on in the articles, those are the facts. Um, and then you can figure out how you want to feel after that or read more. I don't know. But that's how I approach things.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:14

Yeah, there's not necessarily a right or wrong way to feel about it, you know, like it's that's that's why there are different political parties. That's the whole point. Um, but you owe it to yourself and the res the responsibility of um the way that you vote to question things and to challenge yourself. And that's um like that's why I like I enjoy these talks because we don't always agree on everything, uh, but I get to learn a lot about your view and I get to question my own. And that I have done that, and you know it's led me down really awesome roads where I feel like you know, maybe I'm a little bit better off because of that.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:52

I know over the summer I really thought I was gonna like get you on like to come to my side and um somehow you drifted back over there.

unknown 1:02:01

Don't worry. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:05

Don't give up. We'll get you on, we'll get you on my side of the triangle at some point.

unknown 1:02:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:12

We'll look forward to it. All right. Um, it's it's a disaster over here, by the way. Um the libertarians and libertarian party have no idea how they feel about anything. It's hilarious. Um all right, so we gotta get into the things we hate. Um, and I'm surprised you have a thing you hate this week.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:38

Yeah, I sure do. I gotta do.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:41

Let's hear it.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:43

Okay. I hate it when the delivery driver, if I order a package, rings my doorbell. Do like, what are you doing? It's so annoying. My dog freaks out. It's like a whole 20-minute thing I gotta deal with. I'm trying to watch friggin' love is blind over here trying to get locked in. I can't be bothered to let to let you know that you dropped off my t-shirt. Get out of here.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:13

Wait, so hold on a second. It's so annoying. He's not ringing the bell to get your signature, he's ringing the bell to just let you know, hey, I left something at your front door.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:24

I would say one in seven deliveries ring the doorbell for absolutely no reason. No one asked you to ring. I have a camera. You can see the ring camera looking at you. I will be notified. I know that it's there. If that package isn't there, I will review the footage and figure out what happened. You don't read to ring my doorbell. That's absolutely asinine. By the way, while we're talking about deliveries and having to sign for things, why in the holy hell do I have to sign for anything? Get out of here, leave it at the door. I don't want to, dude. I didn't a couple years ago.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:02

No, no, no, go ahead.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:03

I gotta get a few years ago we moved into our house. I have grass. I ordered a lawnmower, a riding lawnmower. They dropped that motherfucker in the driveway and they didn't ring shit. What could I possibly need to sign for? Right. I don't understand. And we uh we get wine delivered to the house. Every three months they drop off a case of wine, and we drink way too much of it. It's kind of a problem. We're we're talking about it.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:36

You're not getting help.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:39

I will not seek help. We'll just be like, should we drink so much wine? No. And that's only shitty happens at work, and we're like, yeah. Yeah. So uh every every three months for like five years now, this shit has shown up at our house. You know, you know me. It's the same driver every time. I say hi to her. She's we we talk about our weekend. Don't let's let's forego this. You leave the wine there, you know who I be, and let's just move on with our day. Get through your deliveries faster, get out of work earlier, and maybe go enjoy a croissant. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:16

Yeah, I think this day and age, like I'm okay with uh the proof of them delivering is them taking a picture and then posting it like, oh, on the website, your order was delivered. We don't need well, so I live in a place where the delivery drivers can't get inside.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:37

Yeah, in your apartment building.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:39

Yeah, in the apartment building, like our doors are in the inside. Um, so they have to leave everything outside. And it's only affected me once or twice where um like I was getting a medication or something from the VA, uh, and I have to I have to send it to somebody else's house. Uh, because they can't get in for me to sign it, and they have no way of contacting me either. The delivery driver doesn't care.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:06

You know? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:09

Oh, all right. That drives me nuts. One side story about this. Oh, go for it.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:16

Okay. There was this one time our wine box got delivered. There's this one time. And um, it was I don't know how to feel about this. Uh the the the this guy that delivered it was super nice. Usually it's this fabulous woman, and she is, she goes, she walks up the door and she goes, How are you doing today, baby? And I'm like, I love that. And she knows me. But there was a different guy on the route that day, and he delivered the wine box. This poor guy, uh, he has cerebral palsy. Oh, alright. And he's carrying a case of wine. Yeah, that's terrible. And he was struggling to do it. I mean, like, you know what? Blessed that man. He was working hard. Yeah, good for him. It was awesome. But at the same time, I'm like, there's probably a lot of fragile stuff on that truck. Is this your guy? Like, well, you now have. You could have gone out and helped him. Well, as soon as I opened the door, it was after he rang the doorbell. So I'm already pissed off. And then I'm like, hello. And then I see him, and he's struggling to he's struggling to carry this box. And I'm like, oh, let me help. Let me help you with that, bud. He was a super nice guy, really great. And I'm it mean how cool is it like that he's able to work and he's he's doing that, and that's that's awesome. I have a lot, I have a few family members with with cerebral palsy, so like I understand the struggle, and I understand um what it means to somebody to be able to continue to work and do something physical. It's a it's it's an awesome thing, right? But at the same time, I'm like, Amazon, these things are fragile.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:54

I can't think that yeah, well, you know, well, Amazon. Uh like if you don't like it, they're like, oh, we'll keep it and we'll send something else to you, like for free. They don't they don't need the cash, so they'll just take care of it anyway. That's fine.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:07

That's true.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:07

That's right. And also, the wine wasn't damaged, so that guy's doing a great job.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:13

No, um, I did damage to the wine. Those are two different things. You did damage to the wine. Oh, hell yeah. Like you drank a lot of it or like you dropped a hell yeah. Oh hell yeah. I I I drink a lot of it. Actually, one might say all of it. All of it. All right.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:34

Well, listen, don't get help because I like you the way you are.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:39

I like me too. Well, I I also love wine because I just love drinking a good glass of wine with my dinner and we pair it together, and it really does enhance the meal.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:50

I don't like wine.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:52

No one's perfect.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:54

You're right. You said that last time. Man, if I if I could only get an appointment with my damn therapist, I could talk to her about this, but about how not perfect you are?

SPEAKER_03 1:09:10

Yeah. The next appointment's gonna be. Uh, my friend Jeff told me that I suck because I don't drink wine.

unknown 1:09:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:18

And also, what do you think about Iran?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:20

Yeah. Maybe maybe they'll they'll raise my disability rating. Uh all right. So um my thing this week, uh, I so I think this is controversial, and I want to know what you think.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:36

Already controversial.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:37

Diners are still.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:38

Already controversial.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:39

I hate them. I think diners are so stupid. Why do we have diners? It's just for nostalgia. That's it. I don't understand. It's there's two reasons nostalgia and someplace for the kids to go to smoke cigarettes and drink coffee at two in the morning, but you can't even smoke cigarettes there anymore. Diners are so stupid. The menus are too big, the food is shit. The waitresses are all somebody that I know from high school that, you know, like I don't really want to interact with. It's so dumb. I hate the diners. I don't understand. Like, why would anybody choose a restaurant where they could order a whole lobster or like a big bacon, egg, and cheeseburger? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:36

Wait, what the fuck kind of diner are you going to?

SPEAKER_02 1:10:40

Where you can get lobster. Every diner, you you can get a I guarantee you go to a diner, just pick one randomly. There's lobster on the menu somewhere.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:50

There unequivocally is not. You gotta remember you're in Connecticut.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:57

No, I'm telling you, every diner. Oh my god. Diners are so dumb. This is what diners should do. You want to make a ton of money, just sell bacon, egg, and cheeses on a hard roll and french fries with gravy and cheese. That's it. You'll make tons of money. You'll make tons of money. Just do that. That's it. That's all you need to make. Nobody needs anything else from a stupid diner. If I want pancakes, I'm making them myself because your your pancakes suck.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:30

This is a wild take, and I love it.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:35

I'm just saying, diners are stupid, and I hate diners. I hate anytime anybody's like, hey, do you want to go to the diner? I'm like, why? Why do you want to go to there's a nice restaurant. We could we could get a delicious breakfast or brunch, have lunch at the same time as breakfast. But no, we gotta go to a diner where we can do that with shitty food.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:57

So I think most people would agree. They love the diner. I love a diner.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:04

Ugh. So stupid.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:06

Now, there's limits. Bob Evans isn't a diner, that's a diarrhea factory. There's a big difference.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:12

I've never eaten at a Bob Evans. I have no idea what that is. There's that like no reason to. Is that like the Canadian Waffle House? Actually, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:31

That's good.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:33

Uh all right. Maybe you like um Denny's, right? Denny's diarrhea factory. Don't ever go there. No, don't like Denny's. I love a mom and pop diner where I can go there and get some scramby eggs, maybe an omelet. And uh the there's something about diners, the mugs that diners have. You don't drink coffee, so you might not like understand. There is something about the mug at a diner that makes the coffee taste better. It's because it's real thick, and it's like you can only get one finger in the thing, and it's just like there's something about it that is like I'm at a diner, and no matter how much you drink and how careful you are, there's one little drip that comes down your throat.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:19

There's one little drip.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:21

All right. Diner diners are outstanding, especially if they know how to do the home fries.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:29

You know what's wild to me? That you're like you're like me with food.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:35

Mm-hmm. And you like a diner. Because I understand what the diner is. The diner's not supposed to be great. The diner's supposed to be quick.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:43

I understand what the diner is too.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:46

It's shit. I get it too. I know, I know. It's it's quick, it's cheap, it's garbage. I understand that. But you know what? If I'm going out to eat and I'm spending money and I'm not cooking it myself, I want to go to a nice restaurant where they're gonna make me a nice breakfast, and somebody's gonna like put some care into it instead of just slapping it on the grill.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:08

That's what I There's absolutely something, absolutely something to be said for someone who makes a really nice breakfast and they put care into it, they give you a poach egg, and that poach egg's got a little bit of chives on top. Like, fuck yeah, we love that. Um but man, sometimes a diner experience is what you need. We were just at one uh two days ago. I'm sorry. It was awesome, man. We love it. I'm sorry you had to go through it. There's something about like the omelet, the way that they put all this shit in there, and like I can just no.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:44

I'm so I'm always like, what am I supposed to order on this this Bible of a menu? Like, I just don't what what am I doing? It's got 40 pages, it's small print, doe everything, and I'm getting older. I can't read the fine print. I don't know what I'm working, what's going on here? Uh no thing.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:05

That that you have a good point on. I don't need to read a children's book to like order something. Let's like give me some eggs, right? I totally you're you got a point there. Right. I will tell you, there is not a single diner outside of like the New England area that is surfing the lobster.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:24

It's not a bullshit.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:27

I I'm telling you, next time you go to the diner, look through the menu, there's a lobster somewhere in that menu. I guarantee it. There's lobster. There's either lobster, crab, or there's shrimp cocktail. I put uh I'll I'll put money on it.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:45

What diners are you going to on the Epstein Island? What the hell are you talking about?

SPEAKER_02 1:15:50

No, the the Epstein Island diner doesn't serve lobster. Yeah. Just root just roofies and bad dreams. There's no french fries and gravy at at at the Epstein Island.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:10

Um we gotta wrap this up, but what's what's something that nobody's talking about that we should be talking about?

SPEAKER_03 1:16:21

Um we don't need to get into this too much, but it recently uh it was recently brought to my attention.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:29

Oh, oh, can I can you ask the question? Because I want to answer it.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:34

Yes. Yes. The most rare substance in the universe, not the world, the entire universe. What is it?

SPEAKER_00 1:16:45

A printer that works the first time you press print.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:58

Our standing answer instantly makes me think of Office Space.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:03

Yes. PC load letter. What the fuck does that mean?

SPEAKER_03 1:17:13

There was nothing wrong with that name until that no talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys. Um the most rare substance in the universe is wood. Wood. I've read that before, yeah. So this recently was uh brought to my attention. There's entire planets like made of diamond, there's entire planets made of like minerals like gold. The most rare substance in the universe is wood, and um, I think that's a really interesting thing. The moon's made of cheese. It is, but what if it wasn't made of cheese? What if it was made of spare ribs? Would you eat it then? Obviously. Well it's a Harry Carey sketch from SNL back in the day.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:01

I know, I know. Um uh that's my favorite SNL skit of all time. Harry Carey? Yes, my favorite. Wow, yeah. When he's like, hey, what's your favorite planet? Mine's the sun. It's the best, yeah. And then uh there's one he's like, uh um, I'm curious like a cat. That's why they call me Whiskers.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:35

So funny.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:36

Uh well aside from this little known fact, uh Will Farrell's audition for SNL, and he was actually pretty old when he got the job at SNL. Yeah. Uh his audition was just him uh pretending to be like an office manager, like he was like the head guy at an office, and then he was like uh he told his receptionist to put all of his calls on hold, and then he just like played with a cat toy like a cat would. It's so out there and it's so outrageous, they would have been absolutely out of their minds not to hire him for SNL. It's so out there.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:14

My CO in the Marine Corps went to high school with him. Get out, yeah, and he came to uh some sort of event, and like he wasn't there long. I don't know what was going on, but like he was just like, all right guys, and then just disappeared. Um but like I was like 50 feet away from him. That is awesome, dude.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:39

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:42

Um, yeah, the Harry Carey by far my favorite. I don't know why. Uh, because nothing on SNL really makes me laugh too much. Um, but the Harry Carey and the uh the Goulet. Do you remember that skit?

SPEAKER_03 1:19:57

Robert Goulet.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:59

Yes. Uh do you know who Robert Goulet is? No clue. I I probably used to.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:06

So he was like an old-time Broadway star in like in in shows like Oklahoma.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:14

And that's a real guy, and he is does it exactly.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:18

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_00 1:20:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:21

Oh, it still made me laugh, and I uh maybe I didn't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:25

Yeah, yeah. Old Broadway star, famous for Oklahoma, uh, which is a horrible show. Terrible, but old people love it.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:35

Oh, alright. I don't know any old myself.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:39

Oh, um, I just want to talk about my my favorite celebrity, I think, and I don't really like celebrities all too much, but my favorite celebrity is 50 Cent by far. He's the biggest troll. Uh he's so funny, and I don't think anybody does it better than him at trolling other celebrities and people. I think it he's by far, he's so funny. Yes, did you see the DoorDash commercial?

SPEAKER_00 1:21:13

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:15

So he the Door Dash commercial basically, he's on a couch and he's like, People, you know, they call me the King of Trolls. I'm real petty, but I'm done with that now. He's like, I'm working with DoorDash right now, and um, we're delivering you I forget what he said. Like, we're delivering you the beef or something like that. And he's got a Door Dash bag and he pulls out um cheese puffs and he just starts laughing, and then he puts them down, he pulls out a bunch of combs, and he starts laughing. So he's doing a DoorDash commercial and he's trolling Puff Daddy at the same time. Oh my god. Awesome. You have to look at this. I'll send it to you.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:59

It's that's so good.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:02

So good. Uh 50 cent, it's just he I don't understand why they is it 50 cent or 50 cent?

SPEAKER_03 1:22:10

It's a it depends if you're white or not. So the white people say 50. Yes, of course. Um we're we're white, so we have we say fifty.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:23

No, I think we do it for the street cred.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:27

We say 50. I think it was always 50 cents.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:33

Yeah, um, but I think if you're like 60 or older, you have to say half dollar.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:39

Half dollar cent. Half dollar, half that's just it? Half dollar?

SPEAKER_03 1:22:44

Half dollar. All right. I wonder how he feels about that.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:48

If you're a hundred or older, you say fifty cent piece. 50 cent piece. I have a 50 cent piece. Yeah, you sure do.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:58

I do. It's it's worth like 40 dollars. It's all silver.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:01

Let's let's go get rid of that thing. Get 40 bucks, bro. No way, man. All right, back to Fiddy. All right. Uh, my favorite thing about Fiddy, my favorite thing he's ever done is uh he to he talked about this. Most people know about this, but it's worth reiterating. Uh, he hates jaw rule. This is good. He bought all like the first what 10 rows at a jaw rule concert. Just know that when he went on stage, there's nobody put you there. And then he's like, whatever. It was like $12 on Groupon. Yeah, yeah, that's right. He had a group, the fact that Fitty went to Groupon just to fuck with Ja Rule makes me so happy.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:59

Me too. Oh man, nobody does nobody does it like he does it.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:03

Um, and you're right about this. No, like how is this how are we not talking about this every day? Why isn't Fiddy like talked about on TikTok and social media every day for what a stud that guy is?

SPEAKER_02 1:24:16

I don't I don't understand it. I everybody should be talking about 50 Cent all the time. That's all the time. I would I could get behind it. I don't I think I would give up my whole shtick if more people talk to me about 50 Cent.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:31

There there is no giving up your shtick. That is who you are. I just wish I could be happy like 50 Cent. Maybe find someone you really, really hate and like and start messing with them.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:47

Yeah, but if you're not rich and famous, that gets you arrested and put in jail.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:52

You should wear a bracelet that says WW50CD. What would 50 Cent do?

SPEAKER_02 1:25:00

Oh yeah. We're gonna make those, and when we start selling merch, that'll be that'll be a thing. What would 50 cents do? I'm gonna have to we're gonna have to get in touch with them though.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:12

Yeah, you know, speaking of our merch, I was thinking, you know how they make the tuxedo t-shirt? Right. We should make a sweatsert, uh, uh a sweatsuit t-shirt.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:25

So it's the swoot tee?

SPEAKER_03 1:25:29

Yeah, it's just a t-shirt and it's it's it's gray. All right, perfect. I love it. The swoot.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:36

The swoot. Oh man, that's a good reference. All right, we gotta wrap it up, man. Yeah, man. That's it. That's it for us. That's it for us. Uh every every week. It's just better and better. I really had a great time.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:53

Better and better for our audience. Anyone listening, please hit the like and subscribe button, leave a comment down below. We would really appreciate it. Uh, we'd like to try to make this thing as big as possible because everyone deserves to know what two guys think who have no credentials.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:09

Yeah. Just to just, you know, as a disclaimer, lower your expectations, because it's not gonna be good.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:17

Ours could not be lower.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:20

That's true. It's my shtick.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:24

It's his shtick.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:26

It's my shtick. All right. All right, man.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:29

Woogie boogie. Woogie boogie. Bye, everyone.