EP010 | Trusting the VA, Bad Dog Owners & Why We’re All Tired

In this episode, we cover a little bit of everything and somehow manage to disappoint.

We kick things off with updates on Bagel Delight and the Buffalo Sabres officially clinching a playoff berth, which still sounds fake.

From there, Erik’s weekly regret is trusting the VA and wasting a perfect 70-degree Friday on a fishing trip that produced absolutely nothing except disappointment.

We also get into birds, why hockey is the hardest professional sport to play, irresponsible dog owners, the miracle of getting an Amazon order in three hours, and why everyone seems exhausted all the time even though life is supposed to be easier.

We solve nothing, but we do complain about a lot.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Welcome to Two Guys No Credentials.

SPEAKER_04 0:02

We're two completely unqualified people talk about nothing and everything.

SPEAKER_02 0:06

Like we know what we're doing. Spoiler, we don't. But yeah, dude, I I remember when our stuff, our music first went up onto Spotify. At the time, we had this like really cool deal where uh it was like a certain website that would make a bunch of CDs for you because we it like streaming songs wasn't super popular yet, so we made a ton of CDs, and then they would also upload it to Spotify and Apple Music and whatever other and maybe Pandora as well. So we were uh we ended up doing all that, and it was like 50 bucks to do all that, but Spotify figured their shit out and now it's expensive. Oh, okay. That's pretty cool though. Yeah, it was awesome. And for those that might not know what we're talking about, this podcast is now available on Spotify. Woogie Boogie.

SPEAKER_04 0:52

I have nothing to add, it's just so super cool, and I'm stoked.

SPEAKER_02 0:56

Yeah, I'm super happy about it. Check the link in the bio to find other episodes.

SPEAKER_04 1:01

Yes, do that, or we'll find you. Uh we'll find you and we will give you a stern talking to. Stern talking to. Yeah, I wasn't, it wasn't a threat, really. Um I was getting a haircut today, and I was telling Eli that um he gave me a solid haircut, too. He hooked it up. I won't show it though. Let's go. The screen will be just all white from the glare from my receding hairline. Uh, but I was talking to him, I was telling him we were on Spotify now, and he was telling me that one of his clients uh has a band in the area, and they're on Spotify, and Spotify gave them an award, and they sent it to his house, left it on his front front porch without a box, nothing. Just the like the big this big plaque and like a record on the porch, not wrapped, nothing, just left it there. What come on Spotify? We couldn't afford packaging. I know that's what I said. I said the exact same thing.

SPEAKER_02 2:10

Yeah. Wild. That's that's insane. Uh, what's the band called, do you know?

SPEAKER_04 2:16

Oh, I didn't ask because I don't know how to deal with people.

SPEAKER_02 2:19

Yeah, that checks out. The uh I bet you there, I bet you uh like they must have had a ton of streams to get an award. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_04 2:28

Yeah, he said that they got over like 500,000 or something. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 2:32

Damn, that is so cool. Uh, one time I got a check from Spotify for $25 because we had a hundred streams over four years. That's awesome. That's 25 streams a year. Let's go.

SPEAKER_04 2:48

Yeah, that's good. You're still doing better than the podcast is awesome, dude. Um, quick update on Blue. He is home, he's doing much better.

SPEAKER_02 3:04

Um, I am so glad to hear that. I was I was like so worried because every anytime like something happens to your pet, it's basically your child. And so like the fact that you kept letting me know and getting updates, and like we don't really know what's going on. I was like, oh god, I was a wreck.

SPEAKER_04 3:21

Yeah, it was crazy. So um Paige took him for a walk. Um she did just like a loop around the neighborhood, like we always do in the morning. And um she came inside and she's like, I think there's something wrong. And he kind of like staggered over to his dog bed and just collapsed. And um uh like I immediately was like went into like focus mode and like got down, checked his gums. He was cold as ice. Um, gums were super pale. Um, and I couldn't tell whether he was breathing or not, and and I didn't take the time because I was just like, this is an emergency. I picked him up. I'm wearing no clothes, like I've got basketball shorts on and no underwear, no shoes, no socks, nothing. And I just pick him up, sprint to the car, toss him in the backseat like he's luggage, and I'm like, I'll meet you at the ER, I'll call him while you're on the way. And it's like two minutes down the road. Um, so I call and I'm telling the guy what's going on, and he's like, Can I put you on hold? And I'm like, What the fuck? Like, I'm just telling you about my dog's dead. Like, can you put me on hold? And like, I don't know, five minutes goes by and he gets back on. He's like, Are you calling about Baloo? I'm like, Yes. She just walked in. And I was like, All right, whatever, I'll see you there. Got it. Yeah, got off the phone. Um, but they're really good to us um six thousand dollars later.

SPEAKER_01 4:55

But Jesus.

SPEAKER_04 4:57

Yeah, we have insurance, so we'll get most of that back.

SPEAKER_02 5:01

Well, that's good. Yeah, get it. I'm glad to hear that. I'm glad I'm just glad he's doing well.

SPEAKER_04 5:07

Yeah, me too. He's stable. They think it's an anaphylactic reaction. They have no idea what caused it. We have no clue. Um but he had an echo today, and if it sounds like he's got uh like the beginnings of some heart disease, which makes little very little sense. So we're gonna bring him back and get his heart checked again in three months just to see what's going on. Heart disease. Damn, for such a young pup. I know, makes no sense. So we gotta. I mean, there's still time to bring him back to the shelter, so I might do that and get our money back.

SPEAKER_02 5:42

Yeah, I think that's how you save the receipt.

SPEAKER_04 5:45

Yes, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:47

I think that's how that works. I'm pretty sure anyway.

SPEAKER_04 5:49

Yeah, uh I'll get him back. But uh for one day, somebody will be listening to this podcast, hopefully. Um, get your pet insurance and get them good insurance, it's worth it. If something happens like this and you gotta bring him to the ER, uh basically we just hand him over. I'm like, do whatever you have to. We don't even worry about it.

SPEAKER_02 6:11

Absolutely. Um, bet insurance, especially if they're a puppy, is the best time to do it. Um, they're super, super worth it.

SPEAKER_01 6:20

Yeah, totally. Um, but now he's home, he's resting, he's tired.

SPEAKER_04 6:25

He's exhausted. CP pup? Yeah. Oh, the best part about this is because he's like he's such a well-behaved dog, um, and he doesn't bark in the cage, they put him with the cats because he doesn't do any barking, he's such a good dog.

SPEAKER_02 6:44

Uh Baloo. I still haven't met Baloo in person. Can you believe this? Oh, I can't. Isn't that wild?

SPEAKER_04 6:52

He's a he's a cool dog.

SPEAKER_02 6:54

He's a little too much at first, but he's a cool dog. I follow him on Instagram.

SPEAKER_04 6:59

Oh, you do? I I told Paige I think we should change the name of the Instagram.

SPEAKER_02 7:04

What should it be?

SPEAKER_04 7:05

Not blue and blue, because he turned gray. He's not blue anymore. It should be blue is the new gray. Blue is the blue is the new gray. Yeah. Nice. I know gray is the new blue. Oh, even better. See how we workshop it? Yes. Yeah. All right. Well, we're closing two guys down. We're starting over. Um, you do you have any updates?

SPEAKER_02 7:37

I have a big update. This is big news around here in Buffalo. The Buffalo Sabres have clinched a playoff berth, ending the longest playoff drought in of the four major sports. So now, like in the last six or seven years, Buffalo has held the longest playoff drought in the four major sports. We only have two, right? Football and hockey. And we owned the record on both of them. Now we put the Jets in their rightful position of having the longest playoff drought of the four major sports.

SPEAKER_04 8:19

Oh, uh, why did I think it was the Browns?

SPEAKER_02 8:23

No, the Browns made it with Baker Mayfield.

SPEAKER_04 8:26

Oh, I that's weird.

SPEAKER_02 8:29

And then they immediately got rid of him. Smart move.

SPEAKER_04 8:32

I know. And look how look how well he's playing down there.

SPEAKER_02 8:36

I actually like Baker Mayfield a lot. Um, I early on when he was in college, I kind of got the reference between him and Johnny Menzel, but he never felt like that to me when he was playing. He was put on the Browns, horrible organization, just absolute dog shit. Dog shit. Like they really, they really are. It is just abysmal. I feel bad for their fans, like a lot. I sympathize with them a lot. But my God, they thought, oh my god, here's what we should do. We should take the quarterback that got us to the playoffs and get rid of him. And instead, we should take the guy that hasn't played in two years that molested 90 women. And then when he gets here, he'll tear his Achilles twice, but we'll keep him on the roster because we're going to pay him more money than any quarterback's ever been paid, because that will make it worth it. So while we start uh Joe Flacco and a bunch of these other no-name morons in front of him, well, we start them, he can keep the bench really, really warm with a lot of money.

SPEAKER_04 9:38

Well, he's doing big things for the economy. He's keeping those uh happy ending massages in business in Cleveland.

SPEAKER_02 9:45

It's a dying trade. It's a dying trade.

SPEAKER_04 9:48

Well, when you guys got guys like him like forcing the happy ending, yeah. Uh yeah, I I would quit too.

SPEAKER_02 9:55

Yeah, like listen, if I'm giving a massage, I just don't want to be forced into it. I want it to be my choice, all right?

SPEAKER_04 10:02

Yeah, it has to come out natural, organic.

SPEAKER_02 10:04

Yeah, has to be organic.

SPEAKER_04 10:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:06

Uh anywho, there um it's just really cool in here in Buffalo. The buzz, like we were downtown a couple weeks ago, and just like downtown, not at a sabres game, we're just like in the city, and there's a buzz going around. Like when you're in the bar, like people are talking about the sabres, and people are excited, and it reminded me what a hockey town this is and what a great hockey town it could be. And it's just really cool, man. Um, I'm I'm really, and it's there the we talked about this before, but the NHL has never seen a turnaround like this in one season, dead last in November to one of the best teams in the Eastern Conference in the same season. And I do think they just beat Tampa Bay last night, one of the best teams in the league. And they beat them like convincingly. I I really do think they can make some noise. I don't know if they have what it takes to get all the way to the cup, but they absolutely uh probably very likely will make it at least past the first round and make a little bit of noise and shake some things up in the playoffs. And I am so looking forward to that because when I'm vacationing in Florida, I'll be sitting at a tiki bar next to the beach watching the Sabres playockey.

SPEAKER_04 11:13

Are you gonna wear a hockey jersey in the sun?

SPEAKER_02 11:16

I might wear a tarp, dude. I have thought about it. I thought about wearing my tarp down there. Uh we'll see.

SPEAKER_04 11:26

All right. We're gonna need some pictures for the gram.

SPEAKER_01 11:29

We need proof. Yeah. Yeah, we shall. That's exciting. I alright.

SPEAKER_04 11:35

That's exciting. I'm excited for you. Yeah, man. Thanks. It's it almost makes me want to watch hockey, but I don't, I don't want to I can't do it.

SPEAKER_02 11:44

So many people misunderstand hockey. We're gonna talk about this a little bit later.

SPEAKER_04 11:49

Well, um, actually, let me uh before we move on, let me ask you a question though. So yeah, they're getting into the playoffs. Do when they're the hockey teams, when they get in the playoffs, do they make adjustments like in football? Or do they go out and play their game?

SPEAKER_02 12:06

So hockey's really unique in this way, I think. I think they just go out and play their game for the most part, but they're they make micro adjustments per team anyway. So you if you have a team that's like really like um Colorado, really fast, like a lot of speed, what you try to do with your defense is jam jam it up instead of maybe playing back and like trying to play position, you jam it up, so getting through the zone is a little bit harder. So there are micro adjustments that you make regardless. Um, but really with hockey, it's all about creating opportunity. Right. So, like, and that happens you know haphazardly sometimes. Sometimes you just get lucky. Like last night, um, we're we're shorthanded on the power play. Alex Tuck, somebody passes the puck near some near him somewhere. He mishandles it, tucks right there, takes the puck up ice, shot on goal, on a breakaway. Uh, it's saved, but it bounces deflects over this way. That guy mishandles it, so he gets it again right in front of the net, shoots it again. Like you can't plan for that, right? Like it's really, it's really just like kind of haphazard at times. However, um on your power play, that's when you set up lanes and you try to get people in um zones and you move the puck around so you adjust the the defense. It's interesting. It is the best sport to watch in person, though. It's like one of the few sports that's better to watch in person than on TV.

SPEAKER_03 13:26

Uh, I I actually agree with that. I haven't I've been to a couple of hockey games, and that's totally accurate. I don't think any I I don't think anybody can argue with that.

SPEAKER_02 13:37

Yeah, I mean like maybe baseball, but baseball is really more about the atmosphere than it is the game.

SPEAKER_04 13:42

Yeah, uh it's not better uh like watching in person, it's just better to be there, the atmosphere of being in the building and like the feeling of it, you know. Yeah, give me a hot dog, agree that sort of thing.

SPEAKER_02 13:55

Yeah, yeah, I'll take one of those hoiners.

SPEAKER_01 13:58

Yeah. I love Wiener. Wieners. Hoiners.

SPEAKER_04 14:02

Um do I have updates? I have an update, right? Yeah, I do. Um, I just wanted to mention uh I was over at Bagel Delight, the local bagel place, uh talking to Eunice. Uh she runs the place. Um, and I was telling her about the podcast, and she was like, I know, I know. You told me about the podcast a couple weeks ago, and I've been telling everybody to go watch it. Now nobody's listening to her. No, nobody's listening to her, obviously, but um I just appreciate her. She keeps us fed. If we need something local, like we don't know where to get, I don't know, like a my jeans hemmed, if I would ever do that, I'd ask Eunice, be like, how do I get my jeans tailored? She's all she's got all the answers.

SPEAKER_02 14:52

I've had the distinct pleasure of going to Bagel Delight a few times when we've come to visit you. I and I I make sure of it. I don't, I do not leave Connecticut without seeing Eunice, and she is the sweetest person. Uh it's like we got there, she doesn't, yeah, she's never seen us before. She asks where we're from and how we're doing and all that. And then I let her know I'm from Buffalo. She has all these stories about the people she knows from Buffalo, and like we talked about that. Just the kindest, sweetest person, and they make a hell of a breakfast sandwich.

SPEAKER_04 15:24

Yeah, they do. Yeah, love that place. So shout out Bagel Delight in Newtown.

SPEAKER_02 15:29

Yeah, really, that's really awesome. Thank you for talking about us, too. That's really cool.

SPEAKER_04 15:33

Yeah, that's really cool. All right, so I was really appreciative of that. And um, also, if you need some tea, and I don't mean like green tea, I mean like some gossip. Go to Eunice, she knows everything. Everything. She knows what's going on.

SPEAKER_02 15:51

You know what I love about her too? She seems genuinely happy. And like it's such a shining light. I've I've been there two times in my life for 10 minutes, and it's she's such a shining light. Like, she has that big of that big of an impact on me. Um, I just can't imagine what like how great it must be to go and see her every morning.

SPEAKER_04 16:12

Yeah, it's really nice. Uh, especially like when we moved into town, um, we found Bagel Delight and we were like, we have to go there. And uh immediately she introduced her herself to us. We told her we just moved in, and she no she remembered our names, she remembered what we did for a living. Um, she's the best.

SPEAKER_02 16:34

That's that kind of service you don't get anymore.

SPEAKER_04 16:37

No, not really. The place is open 365 days a year.

SPEAKER_02 16:43

Oh, bless her heart.

SPEAKER_04 16:45

I know. Uh because I guess like she feels like there's a responsibility to the community, and that's why they're always open.

SPEAKER_02 16:55

I don't know about you. I'm fired up right now. That is such a cool thing.

SPEAKER_04 17:00

Yeah, you don't you don't find many people. I'm not doing that for people. I'm terri, I'm a terrible person.

SPEAKER_02 17:07

That's so on brand for her, though. Yeah, yeah. Because I can just I can I can imagine her saying like to herself, well, what if you don't celebrate Christmas? Right. I I want to make sure I'm there for you. Like what you know what if there's another, like if you're not do if you have no one to celebrate 4th of July with, you come to Big Old Delights and we'll get you fed.

SPEAKER_04 17:27

Exactly. Oh yeah, she she is she is loved around here. Uh on her birthday, it's called Eunice Day in Newtown. And they put like little like wooden, like big wooden cutouts, you know, that say like a person holding a happy birthday sign, and they're all over Newtown.

SPEAKER_02 17:50

That is awesome.

SPEAKER_04 17:52

Yeah. So yeah, shout out to Bagel Delight. We love you. We're gonna have to cut this out. We love you.

SPEAKER_01 18:03

Uh I tried to hold it back.

SPEAKER_02 18:10

I tried with all my might. It's alright.

unknown 18:14

No.

SPEAKER_04 18:14

We're all good. Uh let's get into our regrets. Unless you have to sneeze again. Do you have to sneeze? You good? One might be coming.

SPEAKER_02 18:24

I'll give you a signal.

SPEAKER_04 18:32

Uh uh, should you go? You want to go first, or do you want me to?

SPEAKER_02 18:37

Yeah, I'll go first because mine's kind of short. Um, okay. I don't think I've really talked about this in the podcast before, but um, I I go fishing a lot. I really enjoy fishing. And like we're in Buffalo, Western New York. We have a ton of amazing fisheries with the Great Lakes, the Finger Lakes nearby, a bunch of awesome streams, and then the Niagara River. So I go a lot. Uh, around this time of year, we go trout fishing, which is like a little tougher. Water's super cold, the fish are docile, so it's it's it's tough, but usually you come away with something. I've gone the last three weekends in a row and caught jack shit. Uh it's just the weather hasn't worked out. So Friday, we made these plans like in like last summer to take off last Friday from work, drive down to Dale, New York, about an hour away, just south of Attica, and uh, there's an awesome stream out there. We're there the entire day. Absolutely nothing. Luckily, it was nice out, it was like 70 degrees, which is crazy around here because it's 25 today. Um, but yeah, it was it was an awesome day to just be outside, I guess. But like I could have slept in. Yeah. I could have got shit done that day. Ugh, so annoying. I wish I wish I didn't go, but I have decided I'm now retired from trout fishing. I retired.

SPEAKER_01 19:56

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_02 19:59

Yeah, it's just that like up here, if you're going to catch trout, you have to do it in the winter. It's really cold out. You stand out there for hours, you might catch one fish, and that's a good day. Oh. So it's not worth it for me.

SPEAKER_04 20:16

I I I've I don't fish, but I've got a piece of advice for you.

SPEAKER_02 20:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:21

If you want to catch some trout, you need to go to Roscoe, New York. That's the trout fishing capital of the world.

SPEAKER_01 20:30

Really?

SPEAKER_04 20:31

I'm not uh well, I don't know if it's true, but we were driving to Ithaca and broke down in Roscoe, New York, and there was a billboard that said, Welcome to Roscoe, the trout fishing capital of the world.

SPEAKER_02 20:44

All right. I guess I'm headed to Roscoe. That's what, like it's gotta be like five hours for me.

SPEAKER_04 20:48

Yeah, probably probably pretty close.

SPEAKER_02 20:51

Well, you said you were near Ithaca, right? So that's like two and a half.

SPEAKER_04 20:54

Well, we were we were well, we were traveling from Connecticut to Ithaca, and I don't know how close we got. Got you. I can't remember. It's been so long.

SPEAKER_02 21:05

No, could be worth it. We take this awesome. Oh, I was just gonna say we we take this awesome fishing trip every year. Uh, and we've done this for like the last, I think this will be 17 years, uh, to uh Lake Nipissing, Ontario, Canada. It's five hours north from here. Um beautiful lake, beautiful wilderness. I swear to Christ, the air tastes cleaner. Oh because you just it's there's nothing around the place that we stay is this awesome little like peninsula on the lake. There's like uh a bunch of cabins. So if you're at the cabin, you go out the back door, there's a beach right in front of you, and like bonfire pits and stuff, and like that's the the the beach of the lake. But if you walk out the front door, the dock is right there for the boats. Nice, and it's just it's just such a nice setup. So I get to be in my in the boat with With my dad and my brother on Father's Day. Like that's when we normally go. So it's really cool experience to just kind of like be doing that. Um, we go out there and we crush a ton of fish, like catch a lot. Uh, we keep all of it because my cousin that goes, he's a chef, and we make all of that fish up at the end of the day, we eat all of it. It's so good. So I went on Trophy Smack. If you're not familiar with Trophy Smack, they make all these awesome custom like trophies for things like fantasy football and whatever, but they have these huge wrestling belts, and I got one for whoever catches the biggest bass on that fishing trip, and it just came today, and it looks so good.

SPEAKER_01 22:43

That's awesome. Very excited. That's such a good idea. I'm very excited.

SPEAKER_04 22:52

Uh, yeah, Paul, you know, um, you don't really like I'm sorry you've had like a bad couple weeks fishing, but you don't go to fish to catch fish, right? You go to like look like like men and drink beer.

SPEAKER_02 23:08

Right? Uh trout fishing, you only go to catch fish in the summer? No, never mind. Because because there's no other reason you'd go out there and stand literally while it's snowing and fish. Like usually you wouldn't waste your time in the summer. I don't care if we catch anything. I just want to be out there on the water and you know, soaking up the sun, listening to I always bring my speaker out on the boat, we listen to music, and my brother and I will like share different songs or whatever, shoot the shit. Like, that's what I look forward to. Like, yeah, there's nothing better than like a nice Friday evening. You get out of work, I meet my brother down at the launch, we get on the boat, the sun is setting as we're fishing and just hanging out. Oh my god, the best time.

SPEAKER_01 23:55

Sounds great. Yeah, it is great.

SPEAKER_04 23:59

I wish I fished, but again, uh I just don't want to do it. I don't want to do anything.

SPEAKER_02 24:06

Well, I'll tell you what, if there's ever a time if there's ever a time where you're up in Buffalo and uh we got nothing to do like on a Saturday, we'll just take a boat out for a couple hours and see what happens.

SPEAKER_01 24:20

I'm I'm scared to go on a boat again with you. Yeah? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:26

We almost died. Yeah. No, we weren't even close. I've been in rough, much rougher waters than that. We almost died. The problem is you can't get a good read on the wind. Uh if you look at your app and you see how windy it is, it's usually inland. And when you get to the river and it's wide open, the wind could be a lot stronger. And so sometimes you get out there and it's too windy, and it's you know, that was just a prodding. But typically we go out, it's no big deal. Well, the boat the boat stopped working. Yeah, there they're that problem with the motor has since been fixed.

SPEAKER_04 25:00

That has been rectified. Oh, yeah, I'm sure. Um you know, Paige and I are like, oh my god, we're gonna we're gonna die here. We're going we're going over the falls.

SPEAKER_02 25:14

Yeah. It would take many hours to get from there to the falls. Oh, yeah. Yeah, like there's uh there's always um uh paddles like stowed away just in case something happens, you can always paddle up up back to the launch. It's no big deal.

SPEAKER_04 25:34

You want me to paddle? No, I don't know. I don't even want to ride a bike.

SPEAKER_02 25:42

No, but now he he but he had two motors at that time, so the other motor would have kicked on, we would have gotten back just fine. No big deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:49

I I I'm I'm just exaggerating a little bit because it was funny.

SPEAKER_02 25:53

I can't imagine though, if you if you're not used to being on that river and then like how that was going, you'd be like, oh fuck.

SPEAKER_04 25:59

Yeah. Um yeah, it was it was a little terrifying.

SPEAKER_02 26:05

Uh we were I was worried about your back when like when we started going up and down.

SPEAKER_01 26:12

Oh no, I feel like oh no, I was fine. Yeah. Good. Yeah. My back is it was slightly it was slightly embarrassing. Really? I no, that that kind of shit happens.

SPEAKER_02 26:27

Yeah, that kind of shit happens. Maybe, maybe another day. Um what we could do though, is Sam's dad's boat is a lot smaller. It's like a jet ski boat. And sometimes we'll just take that on the Erie Canal and just like you can only, you know, it's a no-wake zone like the whole way. So you just kind of like leisurely cruise up the Erie Canal to a couple of restaurants, and that's pretty fun time.

SPEAKER_04 26:51

Oh, that's cool.

SPEAKER_02 26:53

Yeah, we should do that when you come up.

SPEAKER_04 26:55

Whatever. Yeah, I'm I'm down. I'll complain if I will, you know, don't like something.

SPEAKER_02 27:05

There's no doubt in my mind you will, and I look forward to it.

SPEAKER_01 27:09

I know you do. My complaining is is just it's just different, you know? Yeah, because it's so thorough.

SPEAKER_02 27:19

Oh, it's researched. Yeah, I think it through.

SPEAKER_04 27:22

Just like right now. Actually, no, I didn't think about this at all because I didn't have to. Um basically, like always, I trusted the VA, and that was my first mistake. A thousandth mistake. I don't know. Uh, my weekly regret is expecting anyone at the VA to do their job.

SPEAKER_00 27:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:44

Yeah. Um, weeks ago, I scheduled a therapy appointment, sat there, picked a time, whole thing, you know, I put it in my calendar. It's just not in theirs. It's it's virtual. So this morning I log on, nothing. Nobody's there, nothing's happening. So I get on the phone, give a call, and they're like, you're not on the schedule. And I'm like, well, we I sket, I was there when I scheduled it. So I should be. So the whole thing means uh the giant loud keyboard Dolores was typing on when I made the appointment. Not plugged in.

SPEAKER_02 28:30

Dolores, that old bag.

SPEAKER_04 28:32

Dolores, Glinda. I don't know what her name is. Sounds like Dolores, that that brandy Minx. Yeah, but it it's just like I don't think I've seen my therapist in it's gotta be three, three weeks. That's horrible, dude. It's got it's gotta be three weeks. It's so it's so it's so stupid. Should I send her like a fake suicide note?

SPEAKER_05 29:07

First of all, yes. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 29:17

It was weekly and now it's every two weeks, but apparently it's gone from every two weeks to every three months.

SPEAKER_02 29:24

Yeah, she feels like it.

SPEAKER_04 29:26

Yeah. You know what it is. She's she's she's had enough of your stick. Yeah, exactly. She's like, this guy's making it all up for his podcast. I don't want to see this motherfucker.

SPEAKER_02 29:41

Oh my god. Ah, I'm sorry that that's your experience, though, because like that shit's important. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_04 29:47

Yeah, whatever. You know?

SPEAKER_02 29:52

I guess.

SPEAKER_04 29:53

But that's that's my regret. Uh, you want to talk hockey or you want to talk birds?

SPEAKER_02 29:59

Uh, let's go into birds. We talked a little hockey. We'll talk a little bit more later. Oh, birds, huh? Can I just point something out? We're I so we have this run sheet that we use to keep us on track. This little behind-the-scenes action. And you're like, hey, fill mine out, and I'm going to fill mine out. And all I see on uninformed takes is birds. Who has an uninformed take about birds?

SPEAKER_04 30:25

I cannot wait to hear this. It was inten it was intentional. Uh, I wanted to keep you in the dark. But right now, I'm gonna bring the birds into the light, and I'm gonna let everybody know what's going on. All right. I wrote some stuff down because I didn't want to forget. But all right, it's so funny. I just I want to be honest with you and everyone else. Birds aren't real. I don't know why. All right, I'll bite. What? All right, birds aren't real. I don't know why. We're all still pretending they are. Let me ask you a question, Jeff.

SPEAKER_01 31:14

Have you ever seen a be a baby pigeon?

SPEAKER_04 31:23

All right, no, I haven't. Yeah, that's because they just spawn as full adults, they're always just sitting around watching, doing nothing, because they're not birds, they're surveillance drones for the government.

SPEAKER_02 31:42

Wait, and like there are no pigeons in this area. Like, I like for some reason pigeons only live in the inner city. Well, they're keeping an eye.

SPEAKER_04 31:55

Yeah, because that's where all the garbage is. Yeah, they just love garbage and crime. No, I well, I think that's what like they're keeping up appearances. They're like, well, people think so. There used to be real pigeons, right? And they like garbage. So, but when they were replaced with these surveillance drones by the government, they had to program them to stick around the areas they were, or people would, you know, become wise to the whole thing.

SPEAKER_02 32:26

Hmm. So your theory is that some birds are real, but pigeons certainly are not.

SPEAKER_04 32:32

No, no, no, no, no, no. All birds are fake.

SPEAKER_02 32:38

Even the bald eagle.

SPEAKER_04 32:40

Yes, that especially the bald eagle.

SPEAKER_02 32:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 32:43

How about parrots? Anything annoying has to be anything that annoying has to be fake.

SPEAKER_01 32:52

Well, first of all, parrots are dogs. Parrots are dogs? Don't you think? You might be right. They're great pets. They speak, they understand you.

SPEAKER_04 33:12

Yeah, but now they're informing on you to the government.

SPEAKER_02 33:18

I think some dogs do that. Definitely the German shepherds.

SPEAKER_04 33:21

Definitely the Germans, yeah. Fucking fascists.

SPEAKER_02 33:27

Oh, speaking of that, I watched the Big Lebowski. Oh, sorry, sorry, go ahead, go ahead.

SPEAKER_04 33:32

Oh, no, no, no. The big Lebowski. Um, I just I've got a little bit, a few more things like that points to them being fake.

SPEAKER_01 33:43

You know how they're all always sitting on um power lines? I sure do.

SPEAKER_04 33:52

All right. Charging stations. They sit there all day and they're charging. We're being monitored by the pigeons, and nobody gives a fuck, and I don't understand why.

SPEAKER_02 34:05

Um okay, I feel like I feel like you're onto something here. But I but I also think there's a hierarchy, right? Because pigeons are definitely dumb birds. They're like they're the dumbest of the birds. Well, I mean, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 34:30

Uh no, I get it. But pigeon, well, pigeons, we have a deal with the pigeons. You know, they get to like sit around on the street, poop everywhere on the statues, um, and they move out of the way when we drive.

SPEAKER_02 34:44

George Costanza proved it. That's fact.

SPEAKER_04 34:46

Yeah. We tried to slip no deals with the squirrels, though.

SPEAKER_02 34:52

No deal with the squirrels. You tried to slip a Seinfeld reference past me, and it was not happening.

SPEAKER_04 34:58

Well, I'll continue to try.

SPEAKER_02 35:03

Okay. So wait a second. You Oh, go ahead. Do you do you think pigeons call the bald eagle sir?

SPEAKER_04 35:12

Absolutely. They salute and everything with their little little their little wings.

SPEAKER_01 35:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 35:20

But um, so how are you feeling about this so far?

SPEAKER_02 35:26

So far, I'm I mean, I'm trying to poke holes, but I can't.

SPEAKER_04 35:30

Because I've got I've got more information about this. And shit. So I was I I've heard this before. I've seen people wear the shirts that say like uh birds aren't real, or I've seen like bumper stickers, which I fucking hate. Um but so I stumbled onto this uh this week and I was reading about it. Um this is actually a like a thing that people believe. It's like an actual movement and conspiracy theory that people believe. And it started around 2017. This guy basically created a whole conspiracy theory that the government replaced birds with drones. There's rallies, like people holding signs, birds aren't real. They there's merch, there's a website, it's totally organized. The best part about this though, it started as a joke. The guy who's uh the guy who started it made this this conspiracy up to make fun of conspiracy theories, and then people started believing it.

SPEAKER_02 36:45

And then the crazies just ran with it. Yes, yes. Isn't it such an interesting s uh sociological thing? How easy that really is to do.

SPEAKER_04 36:58

Yeah, it's really strange.

SPEAKER_02 37:00

It's very um, it's very informative. Like sociology and marketing go hand in hand, right? Like you have to understand the habits of a community or a group of people, and you you base your marketing on that. It's very interesting. Uh, kind of along this vein, do you remember like in school, everyone drew that S. You had the three lines and the three lines, and there were like the S. So that was a sociological experiment. Really? Because everyone knew how to draw that, but nobody knew where it came from, right? You learned it from some person, right? In school or whatever. It started in the Midwest as a sociological experiment to see how trends can kind of like flourish or how they grow. Right? Because it doesn't mean anything, it's like that S. Like some people made up stories over time of like, oh yeah, this is like a gang symbol, or this is like you know, a goth thing with the you know, because the goth people would carve that into stalls. Uh but like it was a sociological experiment. So what happened here with the bird thing is exactly the same thing, and really that's that's why you have trends on TikTok now. Because it's somebody starts one and no one knows where it comes from, but it's all kind of experimental, and um, it's really interesting how that shit kind of grows and how it gets fed around. Social media changed all of this because now it's so easy to get information or get different things out there and get in front of eyeballs. Um, very, very fascinating.

SPEAKER_04 38:40

Yeah, that's really cool. Um, you know, I was talking to uh Nicole, the reason why we do zoology for morons, and we were talking. Do you remember um uh the whole thing with Marilyn Manson and how he removed a rib?

SPEAKER_01 38:59

So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:02

I don't think we can say this on YouTube. No, I don't think so. So he could self-pleasure, uh, I guess.

unknown 39:10

I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 39:12

But there was this rumor, and it was back like basically before the internet was a thing. It had to be like 97.

SPEAKER_01 39:21

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04 39:22

And uh, we were talking about it, and she saw a video where like people were like, Yeah, I heard that, but I don't know why. Like, it's in different countries all over the world. People are like, Yeah, I knew about that, but I don't know how. And it just spread like wildfire. This rumor that he did this all over the world, no internet. How anybody figured this or found out about it? No clue.

SPEAKER_02 39:46

So fascinating how that worked. Fun fact. Do you know who discovered Marilyn Manson? Well, I shouldn't say discovered, produced, originally produced Marilyn Manson. Dr. Dre. So, yeah, technically, yes. Jimmy Ivine.

SPEAKER_04 40:07

Oh, okay. Yeah, all right. Really? Yeah, I actually know this. Yeah, I know this.

SPEAKER_02 40:12

Yeah. Did I have you watch the Defiant ones?

SPEAKER_04 40:15

No, um, I don't think so. But I used to be a huge Manson fan.

SPEAKER_02 40:22

Oh, that's awesome.

SPEAKER_04 40:24

Huge Manson fan.

SPEAKER_02 40:25

Yeah, hell yeah. Hell yeah. Well, I also know you're a big fan of hip hop, and so that's kind of where like you because you said Dr. Dre, you knew exactly where I was going. Jimmy Ivene and Dr. Dre worked together, uh, they produced like a bunch of albums together. His whole label is basically Jimmy Ivine discovering all these people. Uh just interesting when they were their their whole goal was to go find people that were totally different than anything that was going on in the music industry at the time. Right. And so Jimmy Ivine was instrumental in all of that. Him and Dr. Dre ended up developing beats by Dre. It's absolute genius marketing. The Olympics were going out at the time, Summer Olympics. So they sent all of the Olympians free Beats by Dre with their country flag on it. Oh, super smart. Because that wasn't allowed. You had to you had to pass everything by the Olympic committee to get it approved for them to wear because it's all sponsorship and it's all money, but they did it anyway without telling them. Everyone was on camera wearing them, and that shit blew up. It is to this day, they ended up selling Beats by Drake to Apple, and it is to this day the single largest product sale in American history. Oh, really? Okay, yeah, it was like 14 billion dollars.

SPEAKER_01 41:50

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 41:50

What you know, why is 14 billion? Billion. Why is everybody giving Bezos so much heat? Like, why are we going after Dr. Dre to pay for people's insulin?

SPEAKER_05 42:03

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_02 42:05

Yeah, I mean, like, yeah, that to to, I don't know, man, to develop that and then market it in that way, just absolute genius. Yeah, genius. You know how Jimmy Ivine got started?

SPEAKER_01 42:21

The playing the harmonica.

SPEAKER_02 42:24

Very close. He um was unemployed, and uh he he had he got like this hard-time job working at uh recording studio in New York City, basically sweeping floors and cleaning up, you know, whatever. There was no sound engineer the day that John Lennon wanted to go and record some songs for the Imagine album. So they called Jimmy Ivine on Easter Sunday, and he goes into the studio and he doesn't know what he's doing, but he's just like moving sliders, he learned a little bit from like just osmosis, and he ended up recording a few songs for John Lennon's Imagine album, and it sold really well, so he got you know obviously some notoriety from that, but then he's the reason that we ended up having Stevie Nicks and uh Tom Petty get together to record Stop Dragging My Heart around. He had a fling with Stevie Nicks for a little while, and then discovered like Bruce Springsteen had this awesome sound, so he produced his albums and like stacking all these amazing credentials, like artists we know today, he's responsible for almost all of them. Unbelievable.

SPEAKER_01 43:36

Well, that's pretty sweet. Huh.

SPEAKER_02 43:39

This this whole thing started from birds. Oh, that's true.

SPEAKER_04 43:45

Um, you know, I don't so I didn't know that John Lennon had an Imagine album, I don't think.

SPEAKER_02 43:58

Oh, the song Imagine?

SPEAKER_04 44:01

Imagine there's no countries. No, I know that song. I just don't know the like the like there's an album.

SPEAKER_02 44:09

Yeah. Um honestly, it's not it's not an awesome album. Uh the real that song became extremely popular because of the word Vietnam.

SPEAKER_04 44:18

Um yeah, the song's so stupid though, if you listen to the lyrics.

SPEAKER_02 44:23

Yeah. It's it's a a a a dream society, right? Um I get the messaging behind it. Like, imagine there was no conflict. Um, but I don't always agree that conflict is a bad thing necessarily.

SPEAKER_01 44:42

Right. Oh no. I just realized something terrible. Oh no.

SPEAKER_04 44:52

Oh man, I just realized I didn't put my my phone on do not disturb. Do we risk it or do it like or should I just fix it real fast?

SPEAKER_02 45:05

Oh, dude, let's live on the edge. Let's risk it. Oh god. We'll leave this in, and then if your phone randomly cuts out, it will be hilarious.

SPEAKER_04 45:16

Okay. All right, let's let's see how this goes. Oh, we're gonna get close to six o'clock and we're gonna have some interruptions. Uh shit. Um, all right. Uh so where were we? What are we doing? Oh, we gotta talk about hockey still. Well, uh how how are we looking on time?

SPEAKER_01 45:37

Um if you want to do you got 10 minutes. Okay. I'll make this quick.

SPEAKER_02 45:48

Um, hockey is the hardest professional sport to play, and I will die on that hill. It requires the most amount of athleticism. Um, you can take, and we've talked about this once before on the podcast, but I need to reiterate this. You can take any hockey player that can play a pickup game of football, basketball, even soccer. You cannot take any of those people and put them on ice with a hockey stick. You can't do it.

SPEAKER_01 46:17

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 46:19

The amount of power, speed, finesse, and eye coordination are unrivaled in any sport. Like there was a goal yesterday where a defenseman took a slapshot from from the point, well, really from the blue line, and this thing's coming in around a hundred miles an hour. There's another guy standing in front of the net and just trying to take a stick and slightly deflect it, just so it goes off course and the goalie can't save. And it turned out to be a goal. And that's not an accident, they practice that. That's on purpose. Right. There is no other sport that there's so much going on, you have to be aware of so many different things going on at once. Then when you get the puck, know exactly where to go with it, when everyone on the ice is all moving in a different direction at the same time.

SPEAKER_01 47:15

Yeah, I think you're right.

SPEAKER_04 47:16

I mean, uh the only sport I think I would say maybe you've got this wrong is combat ultimate frisbee.

SPEAKER_02 47:33

Uh you actually make a good point. Um, if you've never played it, don't do it. You'll regret it. Dude, we used to play ultimate football.

SPEAKER_04 47:50

Yeah, we yeah, we played ultimate football as well.

SPEAKER_02 47:53

Yeah, we had this whole league here. We would rent out like a space, we had a friend that worked there, um, and yeah, it'd be like 25 guys. We would all play ultimate football, and man, that was a workout. It was super fun. It's dead now.

SPEAKER_04 48:07

Did you ever play combat ultimate football though? No. Oh, okay. So Marines like to take sports and just put the word combat in front of it, and it takes on like a whole new kind of thing. Um it's bad, it's bad. I've got I mean it sounds like fun. I've gotten concussion playing. Um, my buddy um Argo, he um broke his collarbone. Uh yeah, you you there's um we don't fuck around.

SPEAKER_01 48:44

The few, the proud. The stupid. The Marines, they're not that smart. I mean, so it's just yeah, we eat crayons. The blue ones are my favorite. Yeah. Blueberry. Raspberry. Blue raspberry. Ooh. Great flavor.

SPEAKER_02 49:13

Why are we why don't we have more blue raspberry lemonade, by the way?

SPEAKER_04 49:18

I mean, I feel like you could go get some if you want. I it's available. We'll have to check the record. Okay. Um, anything more about I just got I have nothing to add because I completely agree with you. Uh like I tried to ice skate once and it didn't go well. I've never been on the ice again.

SPEAKER_02 49:42

Yeah, so like that that's what I mean, right? But you can run and catch a football. Like, I I just there's so many I can jive and catch a football. You can briskly walk.

unknown 49:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:56

Yeah, but I don't I don't know, man. Because it it bothers me that hockey is not a more popular sport. And I admit, anybody that might watch this that knows me, I have not been the best Sabres fan over the last 14 years. I just can't watch 85 games of them losing, so like I just don't do it. Um, I'm I'm totally locked in now. You can call me a Fairweather fan, I'm willing to eat that title. Um, I don't know. There, there's uh it it it infuriates me a little bit that like the NBA is the most nationwide, uh is the most popular sport nationwide. Um, when like hockey is like just a more exciting sport. I don't know, man.

SPEAKER_04 50:35

It's just it's we talked about this, and I think the reason being is uh hockey, they've got you they hockey is hockey, it's got its reputation, they don't worry about how families are viewing you know hockey or the league or anything like that. Um, so there's no marketing, there's no rule changes to make it more family friendly, um, or to make it easier to watch, or make sure there's more scoring, or anything like that. Hockey is just hockey, and I feel like that's how it's stayed. And um, and that's great for hockey fans. But also, I think it limits where where they can go, and I think they're okay with that.

SPEAKER_02 51:21

Yeah, uh, Gary Bettman is the commissioner of the NHL. Um, he's he might be the worst commissioner in sports, aside from the MLB. That guy sucks. Um, but like, yeah, there you're right, there's there's no strategy for how you get more people involved in hockey, and that is a problem because it is such an exciting sport. Um, I people always talk about this. Well, there's not enough scoring. That's what makes it awesome. It's way more scoring than soccer, let's get that straight. But every goal is so important in a game, right? Like when you're watching playoff football and they score that touchdown, it's so exciting because the stakes are so high. Imagine that for every game, right? It's so it's so awesome. Um, and then the way they score goals, it's so interesting. Like the stick handling and how you juke out the goalie, you make him commit early. I feel like when I'm watching the NBA, it's just like okay, a couple layups. We pretty much everyone just shoots in the three-point line now. Like there's no, there's no feeding, there's no cool passes. Like um, Larry Bird would do that all the time. Those that like you'll drive to the net behind the back, like pass or whatever, like very cool. There's none of that anymore. It's just like how many shots can we make from the three-point line? And oh, we're gonna score a hundred points today. So let's, you know, you don't have to pay attention to the first and second quarter. That doesn't matter at all.

SPEAKER_05 52:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:50

I know. People like it though, all the scoring. They want to see people, they want to see scores. Cool. Something to celebrate. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 53:01

Um, maybe that's why I don't like hockey. I think uh I think I'd watch hockey if they put like a little blue ring around the hock the puck so I could see it on the screen.

SPEAKER_02 53:13

I don't know if you're being funny or not right now.

SPEAKER_04 53:16

I'm always being funny.

SPEAKER_02 53:22

For those that might not know, they did that in I think 2001.

SPEAKER_04 53:27

Yeah, I don't remember when it was, but people didn't like it.

SPEAKER_02 53:31

No, they did not like it. But they also didn't like the yellow line uh in football at first.

SPEAKER_01 53:40

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_02 53:41

Yeah, that got a lot of heat too, for basically the same reasons. Like, I'm a real fan, so I don't need you to tell me where the first down is.

SPEAKER_04 53:49

I can't remember when I can't remember a time when there wasn't a yellow line.

SPEAKER_02 53:56

Yeah, I mean, I think they did that what in 1998 or something like that. Was it really that that really?

SPEAKER_01 54:02

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 54:03

I thought it's always been there. Yeah, I feel I feel like when I could start like remembering football, I was like maybe five or six years old, and I would Doug Flutie was our quarterback, and I'll I've like just remember this. I feel like there was the yellow line then. Again, we have no credentials, so this could be completely wrong. However, I did watch a documentary on YouTube about like this and how they all the like technology they put into football. It's actually incredibly interesting how they get that yellow line to work. It's super fascinating.

SPEAKER_01 54:39

Well, it's the pigeons they watch. It's the pigeons. Yeah, yeah. They circum they circumfoculate, you know.

SPEAKER_04 54:50

Uh no, I don't, but uh you don't have time to explain.

SPEAKER_02 54:53

Yeah, the old brain compartments and departments.

SPEAKER_04 54:56

Um we actually we did it though. We made it under 10 minutes.

SPEAKER_01 55:00

We did we we got there. Hello? Are you there? Yeah, I'm there. I'm just celebrating. Oh, oh, we're oh, so yeah, we got there.

SPEAKER_04 55:13

Um do you have a do you have a thing you you have a thing you hate? Oh, thing you have a thing you love.

SPEAKER_02 55:20

I do, but I want to hear your thing you hate first.

SPEAKER_04 55:23

All right, irresponsible dog owners. Fucking hate irresponsible dog owners. Uh let me tell you. All right, hold on. Deep breath. Deep breath. Okay. So Serenity Now. Uh Saturday morning, uh, before I had to ruin my uh day off by going to uh work for an emergency C section, all the puppies lived. We did a great job. Um but I take the dog to the park. All the sh all my shit happens at the park now, apparently. Um, but Blue and I are having a great walk. Um, and there's a family coming towards us, and their I don't know, three-foot-tall daughter. What what's that, like eight years old? I don't I know height, I don't know age. Um eight-year-old is walking the dog, and it's like a 60-pound dog, and it's just dragging her. Oh my god. And um, like I didn't realize what was happening. Like, I thought the the parents would be like, okay, give me the dog, but they didn't. So the dog's getting really close to us. So, like, Blue and I like do a 90-degree turn. He's a fucking rock star, just eye contact the entire time watching me, and we kind of take ourselves out of the situation. I'm just shaking my head all pissed off. Well, we get to the end of our loop, and lo and behold, who's coming towards me? This three-foot child and her 60-pound dog. So I'm like, all right, this is still happening. They didn't take care of this. So Baloo and I go like 30 feet away into like the field on the side of the path, uh, and just we're gonna wait it out. Uh, so he's being good. He's sitting next to me, looking up at me. I'm giving him treats, and the wife says, Thank you, sir. And I just completely ignore her because at this point, like I want to punch the wife and husband in the dick. And um she says it, she says it again. She says it again. She's like, Thank you, sir. Like, I didn't fucking hear her. Right? With just like a little hint of attitude.

SPEAKER_02 57:53

Like you're being the dick.

SPEAKER_04 57:55

Yeah. So I put my hand up to be like, I I'm acknowledging you, but fuck you. You're not getting a you're welcome. Uh so her husband chimes in, and with a ton of fucking attitude, is like, my wife said thank you. Can you believe this motherfucker?

SPEAKER_01 58:15

Way, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 58:16

What a fucking J-O. This fucking douchebag had the nerve to basically enslave his daughter to be dragged around by this dog while he's just sitting around looking like a fucking douche. Um, to give me attitude. Fuck you. So I was like, I heard your wife. I didn't say anything because I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for my dog because you're uh you're you two are being super fucking irresponsible right now. And the guy kind of like like gave me eyes, you know, and I was like, if something happened where our dogs got into a fight, my you would blame my dog because he's a pit bull. If things got worse and your daughter got in the middle of it somehow, then your daughter would get hurt. So you're putting all three of them at risk. So fuck you very much.

SPEAKER_02 59:16

Good for you, dude.

SPEAKER_04 59:17

Fucking dude.

SPEAKER_02 59:19

Good for you. Oh my god. Yes, because you're a hundred percent right. You're 100% right. It's so infuriating when, well, not only are they bad pet owners, they're also bad parents.

SPEAKER_01 59:33

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 59:36

It's one thing if you're like, you know, okay, can she handle this dog yet or whatever? It's like when I grew up and I'm learning to use the lawnmower, right? And and my dad's like, okay, just do a couple of feet in front of you, and like I do it, or whatever, and I can't really control it. He's like, okay, stop. We're not ready yet. It's one thing if you get a couple of feet with the dog, okay, you're getting dragged. All right, we'll we'll take a timeout here. Well, we'll try this again next year. Yeah, what the fuck? That is extremely irresponsible because you're 100% right. Because your dog is a pit bull, which have a bad rep anyway. Um, yeah, you would be the one in trouble.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:17

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:19

Yeah, but but you know, like, yeah, just get your daughter in the gym, give her some creatine, and maybe in six months she could try again. But yeah, obviously, it wasn't it wasn't happening that day.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:31

Yeah, a little hormone therapy, perhaps. No, we don't we don't talk about that here.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:37

We don't let's not Ben Shapiro will be up our ass. We start talking about hormone therapy for kids.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:45

You know what I would have said as they were walking away? I'd have been like, I hope your daughter enjoy enjoys her first Subaru when you get her a car.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:58

This hurts because I drive a Subaru.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:01

Yeah, you're kind of a lesbian.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:05

Yeah, I was telling my friend I I was thinking about getting a pixie cup, um, but I don't have the hairline anymore to pull it off.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:17

Oh, I I have a story. I'm not sure we can actually say this, so I'll tell the story and you cut it out if you deem it not worthy. All right. Um, what the like the legitimate funniest thing that's ever happened to me in my life. We're in Florida, we're kind of walking down this plaza with my sister, my brother-in-law. I tell you that so they can corroborate this story. Okay, and Sam is there too. And uh for some reason we were talking about um lesbians, and and like I listen, I I love every everybody. I want to preface it by saying that. I love everybody. You should live your life the way that you want to. I support that. I'm a big um uh supporter of the LGBT community. Um, but there is one thing, a stereotype that goes unnoticed. Uh, lesbians love life is good t-shirts. I think they're great. Life is good t-shirt. Look, the little guy on there sitting on the beach says life is good, it's a great t-shirt. Um, as soon as I said that to the people I just mentioned, two lesbians walk out of the store, both wearing life is good t-shirt.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:42

Life is good t-shirt.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:46

And it was the single most amazing occurrence that had happened in my entire life, and I loved everything about that, and I love both of them.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:56

This um, this is a great story, and it's not going anywhere. Also, when you said lesbian the first time, you said lesbi said lesbian, like Jessica Day says penis. You were like lesbian. You're like, we were talking about lesbian.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:32

First of all, I hear it now. It's an outstanding reference. Thank you. I said it like it's like they're Voldemort.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:51

I don't know why. Yeah, you can't, yeah, don't yeah. If you if you say it three times, one will show up.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:00

Oh my god, and they're gonna start rooting for the Eagles, I bet that was good.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:13

We are so on time right now, it's great.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:16

Let's go. Let's go, dude. And we got great content. It's almost like we know what we're doing.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:22

Yeah, it's really good. You know, can I just tell you something before we get into our last sip? Yeah. Wait, did I uh yeah, I didn't. Wait, do you have a things you hate? Uh do we have time? Yeah, do it. Go for it. You've got you've got 10 minutes. You've got 10 minutes. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:38

Well, I have a thing I love. There is a new Amazon warehouse, massive, I mean massive facility. Um, and it's 10 minutes from my house. I ordered something on Amazon um two days ago. It showed up three hours later.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:58

No shit. Dude. Amazing.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:03

It is amazing. How do people hate this company? I can't figure it out. I know that they are, I know Bezos is a billionaire and he doesn't do what he should do with his billions of dollars. I am on that train. Hold on.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:18

Wait, hold on. Can I just say there are no laws telling you what you should and shouldn't do with your money? So great point. Let's let's let go ahead. Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:31

Great point. Yeah, like there's no laws. Like, just as a sidebar, I I hate Taylor Swift. The only reason I hate Taylor Swift is because she roots for Kansas City. But at least she's a billionaire. At the end of her era's tour, she gave every single person on her tour like that worked on her tour, whether they were with her company or whether they were with the facility that hosted them. She gave them all a hundred thousand dollar bonus with the taxes included. So when the taxes came out, it was still one hundred thousand dollars.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:09

You know, can I just say something though? Bezos gave you access to fresh lobster in under three hours. So it's the same stain.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:21

Same stain. Yeah. Like because you kind of got to my point. Like that that makes our lives better. Do I do I really need the thing that I ordered? Probably not. But still, it came in three hours. Are you joking me? It's incredible. Everyone's life is better with Amazon. And I say it all the time. They have the Walmart purchasing power now, too. So when I see a product I really like, the first thing I do is I check Amazon. And because it's going to be cheaper there. Now, does that destroy small businesses? Sure does. But it's hard to beat that convenience, man. I'm just being realistic. I'm not trying to like shit on small businesses. I think small businesses are great. And I do attend, I do go to them. I order from them as well, especially my vintage hats. Uh there's this one company, uh, Queen City Vintage here in Buffalo. I get all my hats from there. Awesome guys. But three hours, dude. You kidding me?

SPEAKER_04 1:07:23

Right, you can't beat that.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:25

They're here in Buffalo. If I order from them, I get it two weeks later.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:31

I know. That's amazing. I I love that for you. That's cool. Yeah, but can I ask you a question? Like, I know you're up, you're like, you know, Bezos has too much money, blah, blah, blah. Um, but don't you think that the man that invented that should be a billionaire? 100%. I just say it.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:54

100%. I like I am not one of these people that say that is that says billionaire should not exist. I am not in that camp at all. Oh, no, I think they should I think they should be taxed appropriately. That's all.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:08

Alright. This is a this is a a conversation for another day, though. Definitely. I think I think we should talk about this. I agree and disagree with you.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:19

Well, what's funny is I agree and disagree with myself. I don't know where I sit on this issue, to be honest. Because I can see both sides.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:27

When you talk to yourself, like in your head, do you have a name for yourself so you don't get confused on who's talking? Hefe. I call myself Kyle.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:40

Oh, I really wish it was a different name.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:44

If if um if you can tell me what TV show that's a reference from, I'll give you a quarter.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:55

Is it scrubs? No. Don't tell me. One more time. Okay. I don't have a guess. I'm trying to think of what TV shows you watch. Boy Meets World. Wowie. Yeah. Boy Meets World.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:21

Yeah, we should um, they have their own podcast, except for this the savage kid, because he's, I don't know, too cool for school. Um, but Tapanga's on there. So we should clip this and tag them and be like, hey, Eric knows your show.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:39

We should. I'll go one step further. One of the doctors that works with us, good friend of mine. Um uh he's uh he owns a uh he's a part owner of one of our clinics in Florida. His dog's name is Tapanga.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:52

No way.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:53

Yeah. All right, tag the dog, too.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:56

Tag the dog's the best dog. She's the sweetest thing. Who names a dog Tapanga? Oh, she's uh she's a topanga. Really? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:09

Like long flowy hair. Perfect name for this dong. No.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:18

Like care like has a crystal around her neck. Um, no. Oh, all right. I got this all wrong. All right, moving on. We we we've used up and wasted the last of our 10 minutes that we had. We yeah, so no last sip? Oh, no, no, no. We're we're we're there. We're we we got some time for the last sip. And um something that nobody's talking about, but I think we should talk about is um everyone's exhausted all the time, and it makes no sense to me. All right, just like you were saying, you got something sent to you in three hours, our lives are so much easier, easier than they've ever been. We're not farming, we're not hunting, we're trying, not trying to make it through the winter. Um, we've got AC, food delivery, I can order a burrito at 1 in the morning, and I don't even have to make eye contact contact with anybody when I do it. So, why is everyone always tired?

SPEAKER_02 1:11:28

I think that's why. What do you mean? We don't do anything, we don't do anything. Like, have you ever been on a um a streak of like working out consistently like every day, and then you have more energy?

SPEAKER_04 1:11:45

Yeah. I was 22.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:48

Right. I think that's why. We don't do anything anymore.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:54

We don't do anything.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:55

I think that's why we live to like fucking 140.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:00

So we're unhealthy, but we're living longer. Yeah, that's math. That's math. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:09

Um, I think we're not really we're not physically tired, we're mentally fried.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:17

Ooh, this is an interesting take.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:19

Wake up, phone, you get to work, emails, text, notifications, phone. You go home, more screens. You lay down, scrolling for no reason. Like your brain never shuts off. There's no off switch. Um, there's no just doing nothing. Like when we're like, oh, I'm gonna go home and relax, you're like going home to like scroll on your phone or watch a screen. Um, yeah, hundred years ago, you left work, day ended, it actually ended. Now your brain is always processing something every second of the day. We're not exhausted because life's hard. We're exhausted because it never stops.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:05

I know of only one place your brain can totally stop. It's the I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:20

It's the two guys know credentials podcast. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:28

Oh my gosh, that was gold, dude. Oh, that was amazing. I was not I was not expecting that at all.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:41

That was good. You're in here, folks. If you're exhausted and you don't want to think anymore, this is the place for you.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:49

Yeah. I'm not thinking right now.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:55

Yeah. Yeah. I haven't thought, I haven't thought since oh god, Vietnam? Uh this is a really good one though. Like because I because I do think that you're right. Um, and uh if you ever heard anyone talk about blue light, right? Like from your phone, from the TV, all that. Um, I there's gotta be some truth to that. The problem is it hasn't been long enough for us to really be able to test that like medically, right? And like prove it or disprove it. Um it's kind of an interesting thing. I think like 70 years from now, they'll know so much about how the technology we consume, uh, the the impact, the physical impact that it has on our bodies, that like technology and like our phone screens or TV screens will all change uh into emitting a different kind of light for that reason.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:48

I think it won't be any light at all. I think it's just gonna be up in our brains and we'll be seeing it there. Could be. Could be. Who knows?

SPEAKER_02 1:14:57

Who's to say? Get on it, Bezos. Now that now that my shit's getting to me in three hours, you don't got shit to do. Figure it out.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:08

Um he's just he's just on that giant yacht.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:13

Yeah, that is.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:14

He's not he's not thinking of things anymore. Good for him. Guffa. That's why he's not watching this podcast. He's already got it figured out.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:24

Yeah. Um, turns out he's the one subscriber we have. Bezos is on his boat.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:31

Like, you seen these guys?

SPEAKER_04 1:15:32

Yeah, they're talking about him right now. You don't even gotta think. Yeah. So he's no, he's talking to his assistant. He said, three hours? Can we is that real? Are we doing that? We need we need to charge more. Three hours?

SPEAKER_02 1:15:52

Oh my god. That's too convenient. Goofah. Goofa.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:00

Oh man, I had a great time.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:03

Me too. I um do we have time for my couple minute last sip?

SPEAKER_04 1:16:09

Yeah, absolutely. We do.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:11

So this is something fascinating, I think. Most people probably won't think it's fascinating, but here it is. Um, if you were to really understand how much your mind makes up about the world, it would frighten you. There's a lot of things happening around you that is not actually real. Your mind makes it up, therefore, it makes it real. The example that I have is the color pink does not exist on the color spectrum. Think about Roiggy biv, right? Red to violet. What your mind does is realize that there's more frequencies than just those colors, and it tries to make that spectrum a loop and fill in the blanks. That's where the color pink comes from. So when you see light reflecting off a pink object and you're perceiving pink, that is not actually there. Your mind is trying to connect dots.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:18

I see. I think I've heard this somewhere, but that it is pretty cool. Our mind does that for a lot of things, I think.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:24

A lot of things, yeah. Like uh optical illusions, for example. Like that's your mind like tricking you into like observing things in a certain way. Find it very interesting, it's very fascinating.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:36

Yeah, like I saw this thing where um uh they would put like a blurry face of a famous person, and um like uh the people who are looking at it could figure out who it is just based on the blurry face. Um their brain is able to like connect the dots and and recognize who they are.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:57

Yeah. Yeah. Um, if there's some too that um, if you're looking at a photo of uh like a picture as a person from like here up upside down, it'll look normal to you. When you flip it right side up, all of their facial features are like weird and mangled and we're like oddly arranged. It's because when you look at something upside down, your your your mind is trying to make it make sense of it.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:23

It's very weird. Huh. I don't know. Anyway, I've never done it. I've never done that.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:34

Yeah, search for something uh yeah, search for something tonight, man. It's fascinating.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:39

Oh you know what I miss um that you never see anymore? Remember those um you know those pictures you had to cross your eyes and stare at, and then like it was all it was like a kaleidoscope, and then but it was actually a pic it would form a picture in your brain. They make it with lasers. Lasers and computers.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:00

It's a whole Seinfeld episode about this. Yeah. Yeah. It was like a ship. A rocket ship?

SPEAKER_02 1:19:10

No, like a like a like a pirate ship.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:14

Oh, oh, I see. Yeah, they were always like in the middle of the mall, and you could go and just stare at them. Like, why would I buy this? Like, I could just come to the mall and stare at them.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:26

Speaking of the mall, uh, one of the greatest marketing donation bins ever was that thing you'd put a quarter in and then you'd watch it spin. Spin, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:39

All the way down. Ugh, who didn't love that? I've seen it, but I never had a quarter as a kid, so I never got to do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:51

Yeah. Well, some of us were just built different, I guess. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:57

No, I was, you know, putting them in the little, you know, the gum dispensers. You know, you put a little thing, you twist the thing a bunch of times, and then a bunch of chiclets come out or whatever they were.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:08

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:09

Yeah, yes. I feel do are those exist anymore? I am not sure. They owns those. Yeah, it's gotta be Santa. Who else would it be? Yeah, he's gotta pay those elves somehow.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:27

So something I think about all the time. Well, it's not all the time, but this happened recently. Unfortunately, um, I was uh recently at a uh a funeral for uh you know a relative, and um I don't know, it was a lovely like thing, whatever, but I'm at this church, I'm not a religious fella, so I can't mind my own business. I'm looking, I'm looking around and like the you know, the priest does the thing with the uh I don't know, the communion or whatever. But then I start thinking about Eucharist? Yes, and I'm thinking like who makes that? Like there's gotta be a manufacturer of those. I like to think they have competition. There's like these big, there's like three big Eucharist corporations and they're all at each other's throats all the time. Like the like the mafia?

SPEAKER_04 1:21:21

Yes, kind of like the mafia. They're having garbage wars and shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:25

Yeah, right. And I'm thinking, like, oh man, there's gotta be like a like, where do they how do they ship these things? Who do they they definitely don't get delivered in three hours? And then thinking to myself, can I buy Eucharist on Amazon? It's gotta be true. And I spent made basically the entire funeral thinking about this and laughing at myself. That's like, like, could you imagine this the Eucharist salesman going church to church, knocking on their door, and like being like, Do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?

SPEAKER_04 1:21:59

See, I don't think he would talk like that. I think he'd be like, I've got high quality Eucharist here, you're gonna want to buy it.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:05

Yeah, he's sitting there with like a fake of a candy cigarette being like, I got a great Eucharist, eh? The best Eucharist you'll find, right?

SPEAKER_04 1:22:17

Why do people talk like that in the 40s? 30s, 50s?

SPEAKER_02 1:22:21

20s?

SPEAKER_04 1:22:22

Cartoons.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:23

I have no idea. I didn't see it on uh I didn't see it on Peaky Blinders, so I don't really know where that started.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:31

Um we've got a couple of minutes. I'm just gonna say right now, I thought Peaky Blinders was a stupid show.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:40

Um, I think the acting in it is exceptional. Yeah, I think but I think uh so we we're way behind the eight ball on this. We only started Peaky Blinders maybe three months ago, and we kind of just like fell off of it because I it's it's so much.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:03

I just don't understand.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:04

I'm like, uh, whatever.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:07

Yeah, I I feel like a lot of times it's not high stakes enough. Like, why should I care about this?

SPEAKER_01 1:23:13

Right, yeah, I don't care.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:15

Yeah, yeah, because essentially what it is, it's 1920s or sorry, like 19 teens, British breaking bad, essentially. Like, yeah, these people have to do this thing to earn money, but the difference with breaking bad is you understood from the beginning, this guy is dying, so he's trying to set his family up. There's stakes involved.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:40

Uh, can I tell you another secret?

SPEAKER_01 1:23:43

Yeah, I don't like breaking bad either.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:49

All right, well, that's our episode. Uh really. Yep. Watched the whole thing, hated every minute of it. This is utterly shocking to me.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:06

And if you want to know more, tune in next week because we don't have enough time.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:11

Sure. Let me just ask one quick question.

unknown 1:24:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:14

Did you watch Better Call Saul?

SPEAKER_01 1:24:16

I did. What'd you think? Much better. Okay, I can live with that. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:25

Much better. Yeah. I think it's a better show.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:30

Um, the first couple of seasons of Goliath better than Better Call Saul.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:37

Never watch Goliath? I'll have to I'll have to test this out. Yeah, uh Billy Bob Thornton.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:43

Um he's a lawyer working out of a motel room. He's kind of an alcoholic. Um, and he takes on um like big corporations, big like things like people you can't sue. He takes them on.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:56

Let's go. Bezos.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:59

Bezos, yeah. Yeah, uh I'll sue you if I don't get my lobster in under two hours. Better start working on it.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:08

I love the thing you the thing you think I was ordering was lobster. I don't know. It could have been a food, a football, a Eucharist.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:21

Yeah. All right. Well, let's wrap it up. Time to go. Another good show. Yeah, great show. All right, well, thanks everyone for joining us. Boogie Boogie. Woogie Boogie.