EP20 | The Most American Episode We’ve Ever Done

America had a birthday, so this week we skipped the News Desk and talked Fourth of July the only way we know how: fireworks, hot dogs, potato salad hate, childhood nostalgia, The Sandlot, Independence Day, Jaws, and adults pretending fireworks are still exciting.

Erik also gets bullied at a party by a guy named Brennan after saying he’s from Tatooine, Jeff regrets another softball loss, and a Chick-fil-A drive-thru turns into an NFL quarterback debate.

Two guys. No credentials. There’s sand in the potato salad.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Two Guys No Credentials.

SPEAKER_02 0:02

We're two completely unqualified people talk about nothing.

SPEAKER_00 0:05

And everything. Like we know what we're doing. Spoiler, we don't. I know, dude. And this weekend was a blur. I ended up doing this cool thing and being like a stage hand for the Ellicottville Music Festival out here in Western New York. And so it was just on Sunday I was there, and a friend's band was uh playing, so I got to be like, you know, on the side of the stage, helping out with some of the equipment and stuff. Uh they did this thing. It was uh like a rock autism event or foundation that they kind of started. There was one point in this show, and it was the coolest thing I've ever seen. So one of the students, um this this kid Mitchell, he's really nice guy. He um he has autism, uh, he's deaf and he can't really communicate. So he like can partially communicate a little bit, but he mostly just reads your lips, and he happens to be a savant on the upright bass. So he wear yeah, he wears a vibration pack on his chest so he can like feel the note. Yeah, and he we were sitting in the green room and he was just kind of plucking around on his bass, and he heard someone strum the guitar real quick, and it sounded great. And he looked at it, and then as soon as that person put it down, he got up and he he tuned it by ear, even though he can't hear it, and it was perfect. But he got up there and he and he got up there and he performed, and it was just it was one of the coolest things I ever saw.

SPEAKER_02 1:36

Oh, that is pretty cool. Oh yeah, all right. Um, we went to we went to a party. Nice, dude. Hell yeah. So that was fun. We had a good time. I bitched and moaned all week about it. I didn't want to go. Why are we going? Um uh, you know, it's such a long drive. It's the routine, that's sort of that sort of thing. Yeah, but then I got I got there. We saw Dave, saw Britt. Um fun time. And then Fran showed up. Oh, nice, yeah. Um, and I used the QR code. I was like, open your phone, open your camera, look at this QR code, and she's like, is this a link tree? And I was like, Yes, that's exactly what it is. And I don't think she followed anything, but she opened it at least. Awesome. Yeah, oh man. Um and then uh weirdly enough, I'm at work yesterday and um my sister texts us, and she's like, Yeah, mom and dad are in town for a night. Nobody knew that they were gonna be here. What? Yeah, so I left work early, spent some time with them. They left, they left today. Sweet. Well, at least you got to see them. Yeah, it was a good time. What were they up for? Oh, so uh they went to my dad's my grandmother's place in upstate New York. They had some stuff to take care of there. Um, so they were up there. Yeah. Well, at least they got to stop by. Yeah. All right, right. Uh Cortland area?

SPEAKER_00 3:22

Oh yeah. That's not too far from here. No, it's not bad. My wife's dad went to Cortland. For what? College. Oh, I see. There's a small little school out there. For the rhubarb? For the rhubarb. Yeah, that's the only reason.

SPEAKER_02 3:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:41

Here's you got rhubarb out here.

SPEAKER_02 3:44

Yeah, exactly. Um, and then this morning, uh, I had to go into work on my day off because we were gonna interview someone, and she didn't show up.

SPEAKER_00 3:57

You went into work. I didn't even put that together earlier when you texted me that. Yeah, you went into work for it and then they didn't show up. Oh, brutal.

unknown 4:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:08

Yeah. So I was pretty upset. Um, I called her, left her a message. Um, and it's kind of funny. You know what? I'll I'll air it out. I'll air it out. She um do it. She calls she calls back this afternoon, and she's like, Oh, I couldn't make it. Okay. You couldn't call us. Well, you're not gonna get hired.

SPEAKER_03 4:35

Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:36

Right. Um, I don't know. Maybe I'll call her. Uh maybe I won't. We'll see.

SPEAKER_00 4:43

It depends how desperate you get, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 4:46

Uh no. I that's that's not even a factor. It doesn't matter how desperate I am. Uh I will I will be miserable if I decide to be.

SPEAKER_03 5:02

Awesome.

SPEAKER_02 5:03

Uh um, but I think that's it. Yeah, that's really all the updates I had. All right. You want to just get into this? Let's get into this, dude. All right, cool. We're skipping the news decks this week because America had a birthday and we're emotional, emotionally unavailable.

unknown 5:19

How's that?

SPEAKER_00 5:20

Yeah, 250th birthday.

SPEAKER_02 5:22

250th, that's true. And man, it was a doozy. Oh, so my parents, they're in um Cortland for 4th of July, and they go to my Uncle John's place, and I guess he's got a ton of land. I've never actually been to his place, but he's got a ton of land. They had a 30-foot-wide bonfire.

SPEAKER_00 5:48

What? Yeah. So we we know the land's at least 30 feet wide. Yeah, at least 30 feet. Yeah. Wow. That's so 30-foot bonfire for like six people? Or like there are a lot of people.

SPEAKER_02 6:05

Oh, I don't know. The only pictures I saw were my parents, my sister, Joe, and my grandmother, and John. Who knows? That was exactly six. Oh, maybe it was just well, no, John's married, I think. So there's another one.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

That's seven. Just the seven of us. Let's burn a tree. Yeah. No, they burned a lot of trees. That sounds like fun, though.

SPEAKER_02 6:32

Yeah. That can't be good for the environment. I don't know. Is it burning trees?

SPEAKER_00 6:37

I don't know, actually, if it's all that I would assume it must be. It's smoke. It's not clean air. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:47

I don't know. I have no idea. I know, like, here in like the Newtown and like the surrounding areas, um, like you're not allowed to do that. Have a bonfire at all?

SPEAKER_00 6:59

Yeah, you're not allowed to like burn trash. Oh, you can't burn trash for sure. Yeah. Once a tree is cut down, is it trash now?

SPEAKER_02 7:08

Well, if you're not put if you're not turning it into chairs like Mel Gibson, it's garbage.

SPEAKER_00 7:16

Hashtag the Patriot. Yeah, 4th of July.

SPEAKER_01 7:20

4th of July.

SPEAKER_02 7:23

That's so funny. Um man, uh, I really don't know how to get into this, but um I figured we'd talk like I know we should have done this last week, but we're always like a day late and a dollar short when it comes to these things. But I wanted to talk 4th of July stuff. Yeah. Um, so let's just get right into it. What's your go-to 4th of July beverage?

SPEAKER_00 7:50

Oh, nowadays for me, it's it's ah, it's beer. I'm a beer guy. It's beer. The reason is like like alcohol can like liquor. It's all alcohol. Liquor can kind of sneak up on you, especially like my parents have a pool, so like the whole family was like 40 people over at their place, and we just kind of hang out in the sun all day. There's like no trees in their yard. So like the sun can catch up to you, um, especially when you're liquored up. So I like to be able to drink beer. I can control it, but that's usually my beverage of choice.

SPEAKER_03 8:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 8:25

I will say though, every once in a while, I like a corona or a land shark on the hotter days, get a little lime in there and really have really go crazy. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 8:35

Yeah, that's that's pretty wild of you.

SPEAKER_00 8:38

Um, what happened to all the trees? Did they burn them? No, they're just there's just no trees in their yard. I guess there is like a tree now. Um when we like we first moved in there, I was in like high school. Uh, there was this really small sapling over by the shed, and then there were like a couple of small like pine trees. Now they're like a little bit bigger. Uh, so there's really nothing going on in in that yard. And then the way the sun comes over, there's like no, there's no houses or like a tree line behind it either. So that sun just beats down on you like all day.

SPEAKER_03 9:12

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:14

Yeah, I mean it's caught up to many a people in that pool when they start drinking the liquor. Yeah, I bet.

SPEAKER_02 9:21

I burnt my I burnt my bald spot this weekend. Mmm. Were you hatless, my guy? No, I was wearing the hat, but it's you know, it's got it's like the trucker, it's the trucker hat. Yeah. So the sun got through it. That's got connections my friends. Yeah. Yeah, if you don't have if you don't have hair underneath, you're kind of screwed. Um, for me, my go-to beverage now, see, I don't like drinking a ton of beer. Um, I don't know. If I'm at a party and like we've got a time limit, I don't want beer because I don't want to feel full in the car. Like if we're gonna be there all day, like you get to a point where you feel full and then you like get over that fullness and you can just keep drinking. Um so I was drinking pineapple high noons.

SPEAKER_00 10:21

Okay, yeah. So super, it's the it's the beer, not the carbonation that makes you feel full.

SPEAKER_02 10:27

Yeah, I don't know what it is, but I feel I feel better with the nooners.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

I mean, nooners are great. The first time I ever had a nooner, I didn't really know what it was, but we were on the beach. Oh god, in New Jersey was right after Oh, in Cape May. In Cape May. Yeah, we were on the beach there, and somebody like we like nobody had really anything to drink except that somebody stopped and grabbed some stuff and brought it in a cooler, and they're like, Oh yeah, help yourself. Like, cool. I'm like, oh, seltzer, nice. And so I drank that. I didn't know it was vodka, I thought it was like a white claw, and so I'm like pounding a few of these things on the beach, and all of a sudden I'm like, I'm friggin' frigged right now, guys.

SPEAKER_02 11:10

Yeah, I was shit faced on that beach.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

Got the day started off right.

SPEAKER_03 11:17

Seriously.

SPEAKER_02 11:19

Um well, let's go. I think I know your answer, but um uh oh wait, I skipped. Did I skip something? I did. Well, we'll go back. What's what's your go-to food for 4th of July?

SPEAKER_00 11:37

Oh so I'm always partial to like the hot dog or the burger, right? Like if I could choose one, that's what we're going with. So this year, because there's so many people, my dad uh smoked a brisket, so that was awesome. Uh, and then we also enjoyed like somebody just came with like a whole tray of sausage, peppers, and onions. Let's go. And I think I think that's my new favorite. It's just so good. It's delicious, they were all juicy, everything was great about it. Food was awesome.

SPEAKER_02 12:14

That sounds good. Did you do like did you put it in like a big grinder roll?

SPEAKER_00 12:20

Uh I don't even remember. I think they were I think they were actual like hoagie rolls, like the actual sausage roll.

SPEAKER_02 12:29

Oh, okay. Yeah. Uh I think that's does that work as a grind? Is that a grinder roll? I don't really know. Are they smaller? Or is it like a hot you're talking a hot dog roll?

SPEAKER_00 12:40

It uh it's specifically a sausage roll, I think. Perfectly fits the sausage. Okay. And I'm getting a little uncomfortable talking too much sausage.

SPEAKER_02 12:53

That means two things. Um, I think mine is just a burger. I don't like hot dogs, but on a hot day when I'm drinking, I'll eat seven of them. Uh, but I prefer a burger with I know it was just the 4th of July, but I prefer cheddar cheese over American.

SPEAKER_00 13:16

Yes, that's the right choice. I understand American's the go-to, but I'm not gonna sacrifice my palate for it. No.

SPEAKER_02 13:25

Yeah. There's only so far I'm willing to go for my country.

unknown 13:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

Yeah, I already have to eat this shitty frozen burger. Cheddar's going on it.

SPEAKER_02 13:35

Exactly. Um, all right. Uh, how about this? Um, this was something I was thinking about a lot, actually, um, while I was being antisocial on um on Saturday. Uh, what's your favorite thing about the fourth now versus when you were a kid?

SPEAKER_00 13:57

This is such a good question. The thing I think I like the most now uh is the family aspect, at least for in for us. It's like there's not so there's not too many big get-togethers we're gonna have in the future. Um, you know, like my grandparents are in their 90s, and everyone kind of does their own thing, and some like some of the kids in our family, like meaning me and my siblings and my cousins, some of us are having kids and they're gonna start their own traditions. So there's probably not too many more where everyone's like in the same place at the same time. So I think I like that aspect the most. When I was a kid, it was all about the fireworks. Yeah, you know, there's just something about it. There was something about being in the car, and there would be like six or seven of us piled in the SUV, right? When we were really little, totally illegal. But we would like be drive into the fireworks. I remember how exciting it was just getting there, right? And then the kind of the chaos, and you get out of the car, it's dark out, you're not usually up that late, you know, when you're a little kid, and it's the summer, so it's nice. Everyone's walking every different direction. I'm seeing some kids I know from school all over the place, and we're all there to see the same thing, and then it goes off and lights up the sky. There's something you don't see anything like that uh when you're a kid, right? And then as you grow older, you're like, this is all right, and then you get a dog and you're like, This is terrible.

SPEAKER_03 15:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:31

That's so true. Um, before I get into my answer, um we were driving home uh I think it it's gotta be like nine o'clock ish or something like that. We're coming from Massachusetts, and there's a huge storm in front of us, and we can we can see lightning, it's super cloudy. Um, it was a really bad storm here in Connecticut. It was actually a tornado, um, and there was a ton of damage. Um, but so we start getting into like 30-40 minutes away from home, and everything kind of clears up. We're still hitting some rain, but it's not too bad. But there's trees everywhere, like on the highway, just everywhere in the middle of the lanes. Um, but as we're driving, you're seeing all the fireworks that got delayed, they're going off in the distance. So we got like like three or four cool pretty cool fireworks shows, and I actually enjoyed that more than just being right there.

SPEAKER_00 16:38

That's pretty cool. It was cool, it was really cool. That's that's a pretty cool thing. Like, I I'm kind of lucky here where I live that there's like a park right like behind us. Um, so like the fire they do the fireworks there, so they're literally in my yard, which is cool because I think like next year when we have like our pool and stuff done, then I'll have the party, and then everyone can just stay right where we're you're at and see the fireworks right there. It's just kind of convenient. Um it reminded me, your your story, driving back and seeing them in the distance. You're kind of it's kind of like for you. It reminds me of the scene in the sandlock that I think I think that particular scene completely captures what it was like to be like a kid uh in America on the 4th of July. Yes. Right? Everyone's off. You find all your friends and you're just like having fun, you're doing something like interesting, but we were 90s kids, so that's like what we did. I'm sure kids today are like, all right, the fourth, cool, screw fireworks, let's get on Minecraft.

SPEAKER_02 17:43

Get on Minecraft. Is that what the kids are doing now? Who cares?

SPEAKER_00 17:48

Who cares? Of course, I say that once GTA 6 comes out, I'm gonna take off a month.

SPEAKER_02 17:53

I I imagine that they're trying to record the fireworks, and for some reason, technology is still not be able to pick up fireworks very well on the phone, and they're like, damn it, I didn't get a good recording. It didn't happen if it if it doesn't go on the gram.

SPEAKER_00 18:10

I tell you what, that's true. And I remember when I first got my I got my first cell phone, I was like 14 maybe, and I had a razor, and it was the 4th of July. I'm like, well, gotta use the camera on the phone, and you take a picture of it, all you see is just like a blob of nothing. Like you're like, awesome. I'm gonna look at this point.

SPEAKER_02 18:33

You know what I think it's so funny. You're like, when I was 14, I had a razor. You know what I had when you know when I had a razor?

SPEAKER_00 18:40

When?

SPEAKER_02 18:41

When I was 24.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

Dude, I saved up all of my umpire money for the entire summer to buy that phone.

SPEAKER_02 18:54

Umpire money?

SPEAKER_00 18:56

Yeah, I was a Little League umpire when I was like 13.

SPEAKER_02 19:00

Oh, oh, I understand. I thought it was a different, like from another country. Um, but so I don't really have a favorite thing. If I had to pick a favorite thing for the fourth, it would be something I've never experienced before, and that's staying home for a holiday.

SPEAKER_03 19:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:18

But when I was a kid, uh my favorite part of the 4th of July was um so the mall, we have a pretty big m mall in the area, and the every year they do fireworks, and it's right by like an airport. So there's like really great fields and huge parking lots where you can like just set up and everything. But um as the fireworks are going off, and I don't know if this is still a thing nowadays, but as the fireworks are going off, the the shells are falling all over, and it seems pretty dangerous when I think about it. But I remember being kids and us running around trying to collect and see who could get like the most.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

Yeah. Um, so that does occur, but nobody tries to collect them, they're not pokeyballs. Well, we didn't have pokeyballs back then. Holy shit. So would you like try to catch them out of the sky? No, no, no. We had wait for them to fall.

SPEAKER_02 20:28

Oh my god. Yeah. Um, but I I distinctly remember running around the mall parking lot just picking those things up.

SPEAKER_00 20:36

Well, things were different in the 70s, huh? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:45

Oh man, yeah, the 70s were a good time. Not as good as the 90s. No, Lieutenant Dan was still around. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 20:57

Yeah. All right. Um but I don't uh he he would have no, he would have still been uh with the headband drinking at the bar. It wasn't until like the 80s that he got a job on the fishing boat and then just swam off with no legs.

SPEAKER_02 21:17

Yeah, but um he got the uh the space shuttle legs eventually.

SPEAKER_00 21:24

Yeah, well, yeah, he floated all the way to NASA. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:28

Well, um, he was in the Gulf, so he was pretty close to Florida. Is that true? Was NASA there? Or no, NASA was in like in Houston back then, right?

SPEAKER_00 21:37

Yeah, Houston, yeah, because uh otherwise they would have said Cape Canaveral, we have a problem. Disney World, we have a problem.

SPEAKER_03 21:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:44

Um, all right. Let's talk. Um, would do you prefer the fireworks shows or backyard fireworks?

SPEAKER_00 21:53

Oh, so it's I think it depends. I actually do not like being a Like normal people and fireworks because I know something's gonna go wrong, and sometimes it inevitably does. Ask Jason Pierre Paul how that went. Um and it bothers me too. Like after softball on Thursday, I went to the bar and I'm walking down the street, and someone on down the side street is just like blowing off fireworks, but I didn't know they were there doing that. So like it's just loud bang. And it scares the shit out of you because it's like for it's July 1st, so like maybe calm down. I think you're also allowed to do it only until the 5th. If you don't use all of your fireworks by then, you're done until next year. Like that should be a rule. And for the love of God, you better not be wearing pajamas while doing it.

SPEAKER_02 22:51

No, they will be.

SPEAKER_00 22:53

So I don't care for that. However, years ago, um, what we would go, we would do the fourth at my uncle's house, and like the neighbor across the street, I don't know if he was like law enforcement something or other, uh, but he had like a legitimate firework set up in his backyard. He had like a computer with like all the pipes and like shit in there. I don't think any of it was legal, but my god, was it spectacular? That it was those so those backyard fireworks were incredible.

SPEAKER_02 23:21

There were there's no way that was legal in New York. Yeah, no way. Everything's illegal in New York. Yeah, it's true. Um, yeah, back in the day, um, like in my 20s, um, a buddy of mine um uh uh used to have these huge Fourth of July parties, and he would like a few weeks before, he would drive down to like South Carolina and get real fireworks, um, like hundreds of dollars worth, and he would set them off. And uh it was a lot of fun, but it was terrifying, and I didn't want to be there. But there was one year, and you never met Adam, you would have really loved Adam, but you also would have been like, uh this guy's a little, this little this guy's a little out of control. He's a lot of fun. Um, like, like walked into a room and everybody was happier because he was there, kind of guy, you know? Yeah, uh big jokester, just a lot of fun. Um, loved people, loved making people laugh. Um, but he always took everything like one to five steps too far. So all these fireworks are going off, and he goes into his car, and I'm like, what are you doing? Like, the they're doing the fireworks. Like, let's just stand right here. And he's like, I'll be right back. And he goes to his car and he's he gets his nine mil. Okay, and while the fireworks are going off, he's just popping off in the air, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Oh my god. And I'm like, Adam, you know how dangerous this is? Will you put that? I'm like, first of all, you're gonna get in trouble for doing this in a neighborhood like this. Second of all, this is super fucking dangerous. Uh, but you didn't care. Not everybody was fine. Oh my god. That would have been my key. I'd have been like, nope. I know. Well, that's the thing. You want like I'd be like, well, I I really should go, but like this is my best friend. I I can't. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 25:30

Yeah. I do think the best part about that story is you said back in the day in my 20s. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:41

It was 20 years ago. Yeah, it's crazy. So much, so much has changed since then. Um, well, we did we did beverages, we did drinks.

SPEAKER_00 25:57

Um those are the same thing.

SPEAKER_02 26:00

I oh yeah. We did food. Um what other foods? Let's let's get back into the foods. Because you know what I really like is um is like the bean with like um I don't know. I don't know what it I don't know what it's called, but it's got beans in it. It's kind of like a salsa. It's got like I think like beta cheese in it.

SPEAKER_00 26:24

Oh, I don't know if I've had this as the uh 4th of July tradition.

SPEAKER_02 26:28

Yeah, but it's it's a little spicy, but it's also like cool and refreshing. Um I like delicious. I don't know what this is called.

SPEAKER_00 26:38

All right. Well, leave a comment if you have any idea what the fuck he's talking about, but it sounds great. Yeah, please tell us. I would eat the shit out of that. I I I think that like what shouldn't be underrated in the food section is like the snacks, right? Because you've got your typical chips and dip, I'm sure, right? And around here, that's the bison dip. That's like classic at every event, really. Uh my one aunt makes this like little fruit salad type of thing, and it's a it's like a red, white, and blue one. So it's like raspberries, blues, blueberries, and then white chocolate chips to die for. It's so good. It's just super simple, it's just delicious. That's nice.

SPEAKER_02 27:17

Yeah. I'm not a I'm not a big I I used to love white chocolate. I don't like white chocolate anymore.

SPEAKER_00 27:23

I don't mean any meat either. I like it with that because I think it complements like the tartness well. But outside of that, I don't know, could you have to try it?

SPEAKER_02 27:32

Um watermelon. I think watermelon, I don't like watermelon most of the time. But uh 4th of July, I'll eat I'll eat the shit out of some w watermelon for sure.

SPEAKER_00 27:43

Yeah, dude. I mean that's a that's a staple. I will say though, watermelons nowadays not as good as when we were kids. They're not they don't ever get as ripe. Really? Yeah. At least in my experience. Like they're they're like a pale, a pale pink when they used to be like a beet red.

SPEAKER_02 28:02

Oh, I don't know. No, you gotta come down to here. Maybe. Um, yeah, I gotta bring you the stews because their watermelon's good.

SPEAKER_00 28:10

See, I've been to Stew Leonard's once in my life, loved every second of it. Yeah, uh, but I didn't have the watermelon there.

SPEAKER_02 28:17

No, we'll well we'll we'll bring you some.

SPEAKER_00 28:20

Uh okay, thank God. I do have one more watermelon fact. There's all of these wives tales out there about how to select the perfect watermelon, right? Some people kind of squeeze it a little bit, some people look for the sunspot, some people look like knock on it, and like the you gotta hear how hollow it is. All of that's false. There is no way to know. There's no way to know for sure. If something seems to have worked for you, it's because that is a coincidence.

SPEAKER_02 28:52

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 28:53

You just shattered all these people's dreams. Yeah, dude. The only thing that does matter a little bit is if it has a really bright sunspot on it, it's likely that it's not as ripe in the middle as you want it to be. But it's still even that's not perfect.

SPEAKER_03 29:11

Oh man.

SPEAKER_00 29:12

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 29:12

Um, what's the guy who uh the don't fuck it up guy?

SPEAKER_03 29:18

Hmm?

SPEAKER_02 29:19

The don't fuck it up guy? He does the uh the cooking things on Instagram and then he'll be like, Don't fuck it up. He's really mean to his audience. Oh, I don't know his name, but I I do I do know who you're talking about. Yeah, he's got the beard. I'm clipping this, I'm sending it to him. I'm gonna tag him in it because he did a whole thing about how to pick your watermelon, and he mentioned the sunspot specifically, so he won't respond because we don't matter, but I'm still gonna do it.

SPEAKER_00 29:48

Uh yeah, try it out. I ran a I I worked a produce department for a while, and I can assure, at least in my experience, this could be a supplier, but there's I've never found no one ever found a reliable way to tell.

SPEAKER_02 30:04

Well, let me ask you this. Were you mean to your customers?

SPEAKER_00 30:08

Well, exclusively, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:10

Oh, then you do know what you're talking about. Never mind.

SPEAKER_00 30:14

No, we were always good to the customers. I don't want to throw shade. No.

SPEAKER_02 30:18

Um let me tell you this about if I throw a 4th of July party and somebody brings pasta salad or potato salad, I'm throwing you out. Really? I might let you get away with a pasta salad if it's really like if you put some time into it, but potato salad, you gotta go. Bye.

SPEAKER_00 30:39

Yeah. They're sand in the potato salad. Get the fuck out. Disgusting. You don't like potato salad at all. I hate it.

SPEAKER_02 30:48

Oh, interesting. It's the dumbest thing. It's the dumbest thing. Like, who wants squ like squishy, slimy, cold potatoes?

SPEAKER_00 30:59

I will say it's not my favorite, but I could eat a whole container of that shit.

SPEAKER_02 31:05

Why? Gross.

SPEAKER_00 31:11

Yeah, but I I do think there's something about like hors d'oeuvres in general, right? Appetizers. We're elevated gentlemen. We call them hors d'oeuvres. I I I I just like when the people do put carrot, the the one of the best ones we had this year, someone made like uh deviled egg, but then topped it with a little a little breakfast weenie and a slice of Gherkin pickle. Delicious. That's good. But you like to your point, that is a lot of time and effort going into that little that little meal there.

SPEAKER_03 31:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:42

Wow. All right. Um let's see. Um all right, enough with food. All right, let's get into 4th of July movies. You already mentioned one, you kind of um stole my thunder. Um I let me just get into that real quick. The Sandlot, 1993, and you're right. Like when I picture my time running around the mall picking up those pieces of fireworks shells or whatever they're called, like in my mind, I'm running around like with the backdrop from that montage, that 4th of July montage uh from the sand line. Like, that's what I see in my head. And I I even remember like when that was a kid, when I was a kid watching that movie, just like wow, um, like this is a great 4th of July. Like, what what lucky kids?

SPEAKER_00 32:39

Oh my god, yeah. I would love to know if if anybody like grew up in middle America in that time, if that's really what it was like, because I want it so badly to be true. Just like people in the neighborhood, I'll bring picnic tables out to the yard. There's a huge, just like potluck, you know, block party type of thing. Everyone's involved, everyone knows each other, everyone's friends. Just seems like this seems so nice.

SPEAKER_02 33:06

It's gotta be like that. It'll never never again. We don't get along.

SPEAKER_00 33:10

No, no, we're too busy gaming.

SPEAKER_02 33:13

Yeah. Um, did uh I don't I didn't notice. Did you add anything, any movies to this list?

SPEAKER_00 33:22

I really had a I struggled thinking about Fourth of July movies.

SPEAKER_02 33:27

Yeah, I I dug deep for this list.

SPEAKER_00 33:30

Um yeah, I like I I think it's mostly encompassing, but like I I always loved Independence Day.

SPEAKER_02 33:39

Yeah, the first one was so good.

SPEAKER_00 33:41

The second one was absolute classic, even though nowadays I do not care for Will Smith. That the Independence Day, I mean, me and my brother watched that maybe like once a month for like four years. I know it was so good.

SPEAKER_02 33:55

Like peak 90s blockbuster, um, like 4th of July energy. Like um Bill Pullman's speech was incredible. Like, I would have voted for him for president if they put him on the ballot.

SPEAKER_00 34:09

Yeah, absolutely. Um there's there's just like a lot of pride in that movie. I also love I I can never remember his name. He's the guy in Christmas Vacation.

SPEAKER_03 34:21

Oh, yeah. What is that guy's name?

SPEAKER_00 34:24

No one knows his name. Yeah, I just love his whole character, right? The hero of the story. The whole like he it really is him like sacrificing himself. There's no spoilers, it was 1993, right?

SPEAKER_02 34:38

No, if you haven't seen it, like I don't know, go watch it.

SPEAKER_00 34:43

I I don't know what to tell you. Yeah, nothing. Don't bother now. Like, yeah. But like the he first gets there and he's all drunk and he's like, I can fly. I'm pilot. I'm pilot. Yeah, love it.

SPEAKER_02 34:58

Yeah, crop dusting, sir.

SPEAKER_03 35:04

Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:06

Um and then when he's like, ever since what was it, ever since Korea, where when aliens took me, I always wanted to get my chance to get back to those fuckers. Like, all right, let's talk Independence Day Resurgence. This is the sequel nobody asked for. Yeah, there's no Will Smith, and I'm this movie came out before the slap, too. Yeah, 2016, right? Yeah, so he obviously didn't want to do it, but like, come on, why wouldn't you want to do it? Like, this is the movie I understand Bad Boys is what really did it for him, like for like like sent him on his like movie star era. Um, but like like uh Independence Day was the movie that was like, okay, Will Smith is a is a star. You know? Um, and I don't understand why you wouldn't say, hey, yeah, I'll come back for this. Yeah, it is weird, right? But what was that wasn't was Independence Day his first feature film? No, no, Bad Boys. Oh, well, I don't know if he his first, but Bad Boys was before um Independence Day for sure. Really? I don't know. Now you got me now. You got me questioning it.

SPEAKER_00 36:27

Because he was pretty young in Independence Day.

SPEAKER_02 36:31

Let's see. Um I think I I think it's funny. Will Smith, American actor and rapper. What was he? Is he still an act? Yeah, Bad Boys 1995. It was. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 36:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:47

Um Wow. I don't think I ever realized that. Yeah, he went from uh he went from uh Independence Day right to Men in Black because that was 1997.

SPEAKER_00 36:59

Yeah, Men in Black. If we can just uh take that diversion for a moment. All right. Basically flawless movie. There are there's no flaws with the technology they had in 1997. It looks incredible, it feels incredible, and all of it kind of makes sense, and like the way that they explain it, like this might be happening right now.

SPEAKER_02 37:24

It might be. You're right. Many ways. But I mean, there could be nihilists threatening to cut off somebody's Johnson too, right now. Yeah, his name's Flea. All right, we already did Sandlot. Um but uh you know what? Let's come back to Sandlot because I want to ask you a question. Um, like I said, I did have to dig deep. I know what you did last summer. It's a horror flick, but it does take like it does take place uh July 4th. That's when they make that's when they they kill that guy on the side of the road.

SPEAKER_00 38:03

Yeah, I I've seen this maybe once, a long time ago, and I don't remember it that much. It certainly doesn't stick with me as a 4th of July movie. No, but it's got it's it's a very July movie. Very July movie. Yeah, very July. Yeah. Totally, totally right.

SPEAKER_02 38:24

Um like people are like people are definitely sweaty and being very irresponsible during the movie. So that's that's very 4th of July. Wasn't this remade, by the way, like a couple years ago? It was. I didn't see it, but it was.

SPEAKER_00 38:42

Yeah. I think honestly, that's the one I might have seen.

SPEAKER_02 38:46

I don't even know. This was a big deal when I was a kid. You were four. Yeah. Um yeah, but this was this was like a great movie. This and Scream were just like you've reached peak, like slasher horror. Um, like mainstream, because obviously there are better slashers and horrors out there, horror movies out there, but like mainstream, the these two were perfect. Because like they didn't just like make good slasher horror films, they like captured what it was like to be a teen. Like in that era, um, and I think that was cool.

SPEAKER_00 39:34

I think that's what something I think that's why Scream was as good as it was. It was very like real. It was like it's like a cool the quintessential 90s movie. You can point to Scream and be like, this was the 90s.

SPEAKER_03 39:47

Yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_02 39:49

Um I'm I don't have much to say about Born on the Fourth of July except very depressing movie. Very depressing movie. It's such a good movie, and Tom Cruise is amazing in it, even though I refuse to watch any Tom Cruise movie now, uh, because he's a Scientologist and he's okay with people mistreating other people. Uh, but I have seen uh Born on the Fourth of July, and it's a great, it's a great flick, but not something you want to turn on like right after you go see fireworks. Um have you seen that movie?

SPEAKER_00 40:31

I I'm racking my brain right now. I am not sure I have.

SPEAKER_02 40:36

It's worth the watch once. Um because he is he is amazing in it. Um but man, it's a it's a depressing movie. Um Summer Classic, Jaws. Oh, come on. Takes place, I mean, takes place 4th of July weekend.

SPEAKER_00 40:57

Revolutionary. It is funny though, because I I don't I obviously have seen Jaws. I don't think I've ever really put together that it's a 4th of July movie. Yeah. That takes place in the 4th of July. Like it's a 4th of July movie the same way that Die Hard's a Christmas movie. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 41:14

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, but I mean, we're gonna we're I'm gonna say right here, Jaws is a 4th of July weekend movie for sure.

SPEAKER_00 41:24

Yeah, I mean it's it's right. Um and just interesting too with Jaws, the amount of movie magic at their disposal at that time, like now it's all CGI, but like doing that with a huge animatronic puppet like took a ton of engineering, a ton of time, a ton of creativity, and like you you're not going to have that in movies anymore. Obviously, nowadays it doesn't look that great, it looks very fake, but at the time, I'm sure people were actually terrified, and I believe that it's actually Jaws that caused the mass hysteria around sharks in general.

SPEAKER_02 42:05

Yeah, I'm pretty sure you're right. Um, we saw the um the anniversary, the 50-year anniversary in theaters last year. Oh, yeah, yeah, it's pretty cool to see it on the big screen. Um and it actually holds up pretty well. Like, there were times where like I was like, uh I I mean I know what's gonna happen because I've seen the movie a hundred times. Um, but there were moments in the in the theater where I was like, oh, it's scary.

SPEAKER_00 42:42

Uh well, Richard Dreyfus, tremendous actor. Like, I'm sure it holds up because like the performances are stellar.

SPEAKER_02 42:50

Yeah, you know what's funny though? The performances are stellar. Um they're such good actors and actresses, but the way they acted was so much different. It was almost like an extension of um the stage at that point. And you can see if you watch movies from that time, you can actually see a transition where um we're not on a stage. We want this to be, we want this to be more like real life, you know.

SPEAKER_00 43:18

Um yeah, you're so right about this because that's it, there was like a melodrama behind the way that you were supposed to be an actor, and subtlety was lost, and then uh it definitely over time, but sometimes I think we've gone too far because like I'll be watching a movie and I can't hear a single word they're saying.

SPEAKER_02 43:37

Yeah, I am yeah, I know. But why are like why are the fight scenes and the music so loud? Yes. I gotta watch everything with subtitles.

SPEAKER_00 43:48

I refuse to do it. I just deal with how loud it gets.

SPEAKER_02 43:57

I'd rather my ears bleed than have to read Anything.

SPEAKER_00 44:01

Yeah, not anything. A movie. I'm deliberately watching this movie, so I don't have to read the book.

SPEAKER_03 44:09

Read. Yeah, you're right.

SPEAKER_02 44:10

Okay. All right. Let's uh real quick, I'm gonna ask you because I think what I'm hearing from you as we go through this list is Independence Day and Sandlot are kind of at the are the top of these. Which one wins?

SPEAKER_00 44:26

For sure. As we're talking strictly Fourth of July movie. Yeah. Today's standard, or like when we think about like Fourth of July as a kid. It's up to you, man. So I'm taking that angle because both movies were relatively the same time. Two years, two years difference.

SPEAKER_02 44:49

Yeah, three years three years apart.

SPEAKER_00 44:51

And I specifically remember watching both of these movies like a lot when I was a kid. For me, it's gotta be the Sandlot. I agree with you. It's gotta be the Sandlot. Is such I mean when I was a kid too, I played baseball and I was obsessed with baseball. So like I love this movie, and I like just I mean, all the time. Some of my teammates would come over. We'd watch Sandlot. And in general, I don't think kids have any of this today. I don't think there really is any like kid sports movies that are just like iconic. I don't think they're that there's anything that comes even really close, right? Can you think of anything?

SPEAKER_02 45:30

I'm not really sure, actually. Like they're all weren't watching like Goku and and Dragon Balls and shit like that.

unknown 45:40

What?

SPEAKER_02 45:43

I I don't know. It's the weird cartoons that we can't call them cartoons. It's called anime, yeah, yeah, exactly. Um but I think the reason why Sandlot wins out is because Fourth of July is peak summer, I feel like, you know, and the Fourth of July scene is iconic. Like you play just that part, and people be like, Sandlot, that's the Sandlot, you know?

SPEAKER_00 46:12

100%.

SPEAKER_02 46:13

Um and uh I don't know, it just captured the whole childhood summer vibe that that entire movie. So that's why I think Sandlot wins.

SPEAKER_00 46:24

Can I tell you what puts that scene over the top, though? And this often goes unnoticed in movies. Yeah. Music.

SPEAKER_02 46:32

Oh, that's true too.

SPEAKER_00 46:34

Yeah. It's Ray Charles, America the Beautiful. Yes. Come, I mean, like it it doesn't get more America than that to me. Like that song, the way that he performs it. It's always been begging to be like a gospel song. And it's so good. It's so good. I think you're right. Yeah. So much soul. It's so much, it's so much fun. I think if you took the music out of that scene, it would still be very good. But man, just the fireworks going off with that song in the background right over the top.

SPEAKER_02 47:11

I agree. You know what else is amazing about the Sandlot? Darth, Darth Vader's in it.

SPEAKER_00 47:19

Hell yeah. James Earl Jones.

SPEAKER_02 47:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 47:23

100%. Why'd you just knock on the door? I'd have gotten it for you.

SPEAKER_02 47:30

Um, all right. You want to get into um our regrets? Yeah, sure. 100% cool. All right. That's the end of the uh 4th of July movie corps. Uh bye, movie corps.

SPEAKER_00 47:44

What is it? What is that? I said I just said bye to the last segment. Uh okay.

unknown 47:53

All right.

SPEAKER_00 47:54

It was a good segment. I didn't want to see it go. So I know.

SPEAKER_02 47:57

This was so much fun. I'm soaked. But um, let's get into the regret because God, it was just uh all right, so I go to this party. I don't want to be there, but I'm super excited to see Dave. I'm super excited to see Britt. Um, and we have a great time. But there's this guy, shows up, um, and we're he's really loud and kind of obnoxious, and like like looks like he like works with his hands, but he also smokes a lot of pot. Um, and they're having a conversation about something, and one of them is like, I don't have an opinion, I'm from Massachusetts. And um, you know, somebody looks at me and he's like, What do you think? And I was like, I'm wearing a Star Wars, I'm wearing a Star Wars t-shirt with the twin sons, and I'm wearing this hat. And I was like, I don't know, I'm from Tatooine. Like, just being funny. So this fucking guy, he's like, hey, this guy said he's from Tatooine. And he's like, that's real funny, Tatooine. And I'm like, um, my name's Eric. And he's like, you don't mind if I call you Tatooine? I was like, yeah, I actually do. That's pretty annoying. And he's like, all right, Tatooine, I'll see you around. Like it just walks away. How do you end up in all these situations? Oh my god. So, you know, um, so I know I'm dressed like a nerd, but I'm being like emotionally bullied by this guy all night. He's like, Sup, Tatooine, Tatooine, you want a beer? All night. But can I tell you the worst part about this?

SPEAKER_00 49:55

Oh, I can't wait.

SPEAKER_02 49:58

The guy's name is Brennan. What? Brennan Brennan? Yeah. Brennan. I'm getting bullied. What a pathetic loser.

unknown 50:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:13

So I'm getting bullied by this guy whose parents hated him so much they didn't finish naming him.

SPEAKER_00 50:23

It's not Brandon. It's not Brendan. Brennan.

SPEAKER_02 50:28

Yeah, it's not Brad. It's like they wanted to say Brad, but somebody sneezed and they're like, oh, Brennan. Wrote that shit on the birth certificate.

SPEAKER_00 50:38

It's way too many ends. Yeah, come on. Um, it must be so annoying to write that name accursive.

SPEAKER_02 50:45

So it got it got bad. It got real bad, dude. So he's like calling me Tatooine. So I'm like, all right, Brenda. And um, you know, he's he's getting annoyed with me. Uh right, and uh like I'm really annoyed with him, and like it's starting to turn into like this battle of like the witless, and uh you should have called him like Megan. Yeah, so all night I'm like doing variations of like Brandon and Brenda and all this stuff. Um, so finally I I I I called him by not his name, and he's like, maybe if you called me by my real name, I'd call you Eric. And I'm like, like, what? You started this whole thing, bro. This is all retaliation from you being a dick all night. What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_01 51:48

Can you believe this shit? Like it was your fault. That's broken. God, so oh, I'm sorry, did I start this?

SPEAKER_02 52:00

Yeah, so finally, um, like I'm I'm kind of pissed because he said that, but I'm walking by him and he like fist bumps me. He's like, All right, Eric, you know, trying to make peace with me, but I'm like steaming, so I just walk away. So I'm sitting out there by myself, not talking to anybody because he's got me so fucking mad. Um, and I'm like, fuck, I should have just fist bumped this motherfucker. Like, I should have just did it. Uh, so I go back inside, I fist bump him, and I'm like, thanks, Brennan. I really appreciate it. I can we just move past this, and he's like, Oh yeah, sure, Eric. I'm like, great, thanks. And that was the end of it. So we we got through it, but it took some time.

SPEAKER_01 52:50

Oh my god. So that's my regrets.

SPEAKER_02 52:53

Yeah, yeah, yeah. My regrets, it's not the shirt, it's not the hat. It's just um just letting him letting him just call me Tatooine all goddamn night.

SPEAKER_00 53:05

That's a that's a pretty good one, my guy. I was waiting. I I do like uh holidays, especially with the podcast, because I know you're gonna have one of these stories right after. I know it's always me.

SPEAKER_02 53:21

There's always some shit.

unknown 53:24

God.

SPEAKER_00 53:26

But you just like end up in these situations with these total weirdos. It always happens to you, but I never find the weirdos. I mean, like, I'm friends with a lot of weirdos, so maybe that's it.

SPEAKER_02 53:37

But I think the problem is I think the problem is is like you're real comfortable um with people. You know, so like like I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I'm just like, uh God. Hey, that doing, huh? Oh man. Um, but uh yeah, do you have a regret?

SPEAKER_00 54:03

Man, I really don't right now. Oh, I do have a regret. We lost our softball game, and I think that we should have one instead. It was so it was we had a heat wave here. Every day was like you know, mid-90s and like 100% humidity. So it was like brutal to be out there. I brought like a towel and and a cooler just full of ice water, like loose ice water, and just dunked it in there, put it on the neck, stayed cool. I played, I think, very well. Out in the outfield, I hit a home run, it was we're we're back. And I'm like, this was the day to win one, but we didn't, and we're probably we're probably not gonna.

SPEAKER_02 54:58

Man. So sorry to hear about this.

SPEAKER_00 55:02

Yeah, this is this is taking a real toll on me and my psyche. Uh, cause like, damn it, I'm a winner. Okay. Yeah, you are. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 55:16

So you can catch anything.

SPEAKER_00 55:18

I catch anything. Even herpes. I don't drop. Yeah. Wait, what? Um, it's just a mini regret. But we'll get we'll get it.

SPEAKER_02 55:32

You know, it's funny because um uh you know, you know, what a bummer for 4th of July. Right? Didn't USA lose too? Oh, they did. Yeah, so you can't. No, I did not watch it. Man.

SPEAKER_00 55:45

No, who wants to lose it? I did not watch it. But usually US soccer is pretty bad anyway. Like, they play completely different style of soccer than the rest of the world. They have all these like big guys that typically are just like trying to bulldoze, and in such a finesse sport, you just can't do that. So this year, they have a lot more finesse players, so they were able to make it this far, but no chance. They're just not talented enough.

SPEAKER_02 56:09

You want to know why they play that way, right? Why? Because this is the United States of America, and in this country we play football. Football. Yeah. Yeah, they're all confused. They're like, what are we doing here? We should be playing football. Yeah. Yeah, we should be using our hands much more in football. This doesn't make sense. We have more than feet. We have hands too. Yeah. But I'm sorry that you know how the USA soccer team feels. That's a bummer.

SPEAKER_00 56:44

Yeah. Yeah, I'm really let out of my country.

SPEAKER_02 56:47

Yeah. Losing our bar league softball team. I gotta be honest with you though, I've never lost a softball game, so I don't even know how you feel.

SPEAKER_00 56:58

Have you ever played a softball game? Does that matter? It's actually not relevant at all.

SPEAKER_01 57:08

Yeah, I'm 100%.

SPEAKER_00 57:13

Yeah, I mean, like, listen. Yeah, Josh Allen's lost zero Super Bowls. So Tom Brady's lost two, two or three, however many.

SPEAKER_02 57:24

Oh, let me tell you the story real quick, and then we'll get back to 4th of July. Um, because we're not gonna get to the deep end because we're already an hour in and we're like 15 minutes over. So we'll do that another time. Uh, but I'm having a good time, so I think it's okay. I think this I think this is gonna go great. But let me tell you the story. So last week, um uh Paige had a long day at work, and I'm like, hey, what do you want to eat? And um, she's like Chick-fil-A. I was like, all right, you get home, you go, you're coming home, I'll go get Chick-fil-A. Um so when I when I get back with the food, you'll you'll be home. We can just eat. So I'm at Chick-fil-A, I'm pulling in. I give this guy my order. He's like a big jockey guy, but he's also very pleasant because he works at Chick-fil-A. Um, and uh he's I give him the order. He's like, All right, man, you're all set. But hey, before you go, let me ask you a question. Um, do you think uh oh fuck, what's uh what's the quarterback? What's what's the Buccaneers quarterback's name?

SPEAKER_00 58:25

Baker Mayfield.

SPEAKER_02 58:26

Yeah, Baker Mayfield. He's like, Do you think Baker Mayfield's a top five quarterback? And um I'm like, man, top like top five? I'm like, you know what? I'll put I I'm he's definitely not top five, but I'll put him in the top ten. And uh, and all the guys that are working at Trick Fil A are like, oh, he said top five, top ten, not top five, and they're all arguing back and forth. And I'm like, but I answered your question. Do I get to go now? Um so um he's like, all right, all right, hold on, hold on. What's who's the best quarterback in the NFL right now? And I was like, Josh Allen. And they're like, oh, he's the Josh Allen. And they're yelling at each other back and forth. And I'm like, I like I don't want to be a part of this at all. So I'm like, like inching over, and he's like, hold on, man, hold on. I was like, no, no, no, I gotta go, I gotta get my food. And I just like sped off.

SPEAKER_01 59:29

Like, I gotta get out of this. Why does this happen to you?

SPEAKER_02 59:37

Oh man, it's awful.

SPEAKER_00 59:38

Do you know how happy I would be if at the drive-thru at Chick-fil-A, the guy was like, hey, who you think is the best, you know, the big reveal top five quarterback? And I would have been like, all right, let me just go over here and park real quick.

SPEAKER_02 59:51

Come back over. No, no, I don't want to do it. I I'm like, I'm so like like it's the mean, it's like the universe is trying to teach me to be comfortable talking to other members of the human race, and uh like it's just not working.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:07

It keeps giving you many opportunities, and you keep you uh you keep home strong. Yeah. Um, but uh by the way, I think Baker Mayfield probably is a top five quarterback.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:20

You think top five? I don't know if I'd say top five yet.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:24

Hmm.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:24

I got Josh Allen, Mahomes, Burrow.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:31

Lamar James, you're gonna go Mahomes two behind Josh Allen.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:37

I don't think Mahomes, I think Mahomes drops down. I think if I had to go, I put Mahomes at eight.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:44

Really?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:45

Yeah, he's behind.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:46

Who's filling out the rest of it?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:48

We got Josh Allen. I think we've got Lamar Jackson still. Oof, I don't know. This is tough.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:57

It is tough because I definitely have Burrow probably above Lamar Jackson. Just like quarterbacking ability. Success on the field is different, and he's been injured and shit. But like I think he's a better quarterback. I then I go like Lamar Jackson.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:12

Yeah, I go Burrow or Jackson, you're right. Who's next?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:18

Um, so that's four. I think I put Baker unless there's someone I'm completely like not thinking about right now. I don't think there is.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:28

Yeah, I I think so. Who's um yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um who's the uh the Lions quarterback? Jared Goff? Yeah, Jared Goff.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:42

Yeah, he's he is really good. He's he is really good.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:45

So is um staff, what is it, Stafford? Matt Stafford. Yeah, Matt Stafford, he's so good. I think we got five and six right there.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:55

You might be right.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:56

And then I'll put Mahomes at seven. I'm sorry, after last season, he's not I I don't he's not there for me anymore.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:04

I I cannot believe before the season started, my brother would like turn to me and he's like, the Chiefs aren't making the playoffs. Like, what? You're crazy, and they don't they didn't make the playoffs. Like, I don't know how he predicted that. They were just in the Super Bowl.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:20

Um see yeah, then I think you actually might be right about this. Because then I think that it might be a toss-up for like Baker and Trevor Lawrence. But Baker probably beats him out, but you're he's still looking at around eight.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:34

Yeah. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:37

All right, all right, cool. We did that. Um well this was gonna be before my deep end, but we're this is probably gonna be like our wrapping up kind of thing real quick. Um because we're already an hour in. Uh yeah, yeah, but um, like so. I wanted to talk about some uh cool 4th of July facts because it's not just a holiday, it's like a spending spree. You got fireworks, hot dogs, beer, flags, tons of traffic. So that means tolls on bridges. Um, and it's emotionally damaging to every dog in America. Um so uh let's see. Uh my favorite fact, and I'm not upset, I'm not saving this for the last. Uh, this is going first. Um, when I was researching this, this was like this made me smile ear to ear. In Maine, I think it's Bar Harbor. Is that the place? Bar Harbor? Is that a place in Maine? I don't know. Oh, well, it sounds like a place in Maine. They have lobster races, and people actually get to bet on the winners. What? Yeah, how fun is that? Like, I want to go.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:56

So much fun. I would I would definitely be there.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:58

Yeah, I want to go. I just I wonder if I could bring my own lobster.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:06

You just get one from like the tank, it's two leonards.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:09

Yeah, we can get we can get some lobster PEDs. Go in there, and we'll clean up, bro.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:16

He's totally legit lobster. Totally legit. We get a new shot lobster right after he molted so he's lighter.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:24

Why is your lobster blue?

SPEAKER_02 1:04:27

Don't worry about it.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:29

So worried about it.

unknown 1:04:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:32

That's amazing. I never knew that. And by the way, I could care less about the hot dog eating contest. Everyone like freaks out about it.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:41

Why? What do you mean?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:45

The the Nathan's hot dog eating contest, Joey Chestnut? Is that a thing? Oh, my friend. Yeah. 4th of July. Every 4th of July, there is the hot dog eating contest. It's on ESPN. Oh, really? Yeah. For a decade.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:02

Oh, because I saw something on like Instagram that said Lily Phillips won a hot dog eating contest, but maybe they can't show that on ESPN, probably.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:18

Yeah. That was so good. That was so pretty good.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:28

All right. Um, well, since we're talking about hot dogs, on 4th of July, Americans eat around 150 million hot dogs. 150 million hot dogs. First of all, that's disgusting. Second of all, that's enough to stretch from DC to LA more than five times.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:51

End to end? No foot lawns?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:53

These are just ballpark franks. Ballpark Franks. Wow. Actually, I don't know. The statue said a 150 million hot dogs.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:02

Still, though, like you gotta figure most beef like beef francs is like the the biggest one. Like we got the Salines hot dogs here, and they're a little bit longer, but it it's gotta be wow. That's that's kind of that is actually kind of disgusting.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:18

Yeah, it's also impressive.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:20

And 80 of them is just Joey Chestnut.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:24

Yeah, whoever that is. I have no idea. Um is definitely is this ESPN like the ocho?

SPEAKER_00 1:06:34

No, this is like ESPN. This is main programming.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:38

What is the ocho real or am I just getting that from dodgeball?

SPEAKER_00 1:06:43

It it is real now because of dodgeball. So yeah, certain at certain like points when they have like obscure sports ready to go. So actually, what I learned is when I was in California, um, like we were watching football all day. It was because it was December, but the late game was over at 8 30 p.m. So then after that, there's like now there's nothing else else really on to show. So they were showing literal dodgeball or the whiffle ball all-star tournament, which was hilarious, by the way. And then it was on the out show.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:16

Can I tell you that really grinds my gears that their football is over at fucking 8 30?

SPEAKER_00 1:07:22

Yeah, that's the late game. Yeah, that pisses me off. But anyway, let's start watching football at 10 a.m. Don't care if we do that.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:30

God. Uh actually, I'd be, I'd be, I'd be cool with that. Can we switch? Can we swap? Yeah. You shouldn't go. You move there. I've lived there. No thanks. Don't think it will. All right, let's see. Americans spend around $9.4 billion on 4th of July food. 9.4 billion. Americans spend over $4 billion on beer and wine. What? $4 billion? Actually, that means half the firework injuries in America.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:08

Actually, $4 billion sounds low. When you really think about it, we're spending almost $10 million on food, and half of that on beer. That seems low.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:22

It's pretty wild. Oh, well, I'm saying billion, not million.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:25

Yeah, billion.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:27

Yeah. Um, well, Americans are spending two billion on fireworks. That's crazy. Right? That's nuts. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:38

Oh, go ahead. Is that like at-home fireworks or like people that put on like the performances?

SPEAKER_02 1:08:44

No, that's people going out and buying, you know, those giant like fireworm things and sparklers and shit.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:53

That is incredibly irresponsible.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:55

Yeah. Yeah, there's so much money. 99% of our fireworks are imported from China. China. China. Um, we Americans spent over a hundred million dollars on chips and a hundred and sixty million on watermelon.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:14

And they don't even know how to pick them. They're all wrong.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:16

They don't even know how to pick them. There's no way to know.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:19

There's no way to know. 160 million uh dollars on watermelon and 100 million of it were refunds. That's just watermelon.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:30

It's terrible. It's terrible. Everybody was pissed. What is this shit? Um, let's see. 100 million on chips.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:38

That's a lot.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:39

That is a lot of money. Right? What's a what's a bag of chips cost? Like $4.99?

SPEAKER_00 1:09:47

Yeah, I right now it's almost five bucks, which is not explicit.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:51

Yeah. So like the dip's gotta cost like what, six or seven?

SPEAKER_00 1:09:56

Right around there, depending on the size, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:00

Holy moly. Um oh, 70 million Americans travel 50 plus miles for the four. 70 million. They're all that seems crazy. I know. All of them woke up in the morning, made plans, and they were like, you know what? I really want to sit in traffic all day. Just stay home.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:21

I don't. There's literal, it's America. You can turn around and find fireworks. Right. What are you doing? You can watch fireworks on the television. That's insane. Like traveling that far for Christmas, totally get it. Thanksgiving, totally get it. I don't think I get it for the 4th of July.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:42

Yeah, stay home and celebrate America with your neighbors. Yeah. And maybe you can make a 4th of July like the Sandlot had for your kids.

unknown 1:10:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:54

Stay home. Don't travel.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:56

You might just have to bring Minecraft outside.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:59

You know what though? I'm talking shit. I traveled, what, like like 200 miles. Let's see. Is that is that really how far it was? I have no idea. It took two hours. So 150. Yeah, so like 20 miles?

SPEAKER_00 1:11:14

Yeah, right around there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:16

It was on the far end of Massachusetts, so I have no idea. So you're the statistics. Yeah, I'm yeah, I'm one of them. It's you for the statistics. Yeah, one day. Yeah, my mom told me when I was a kid, one day, if you want to be, you can be a statistic. And I am. She was right.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:35

That's also one of my favorite Schmidt quotes in the entire series. What's that? When him and Cece bought the house and they're like living there, and it's like find out it's like not a great area with all the crime in the area. Then he hears a noise in the house and he goes, Is it who is it?

SPEAKER_01 1:11:52

Is it the criminals from the statistics? Yeah, yeah, from the statistics. That is so good. Oh good.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:00

Um let's see.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:03

Oh, I think I got that one by you though, so that's one-nothing.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:06

Did you get because you didn't really do the quote? I'll let you have I'll let you have it.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:14

Video review confirms you're right. Uh sparklers can burn around 2,000 degrees, and we're just handing them children everywhere. We're like, here, take this.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:28

I never really thought about it. What a bad idea.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:38

Real quick, hang on, hang on.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:44

All right. While I'm waiting, I'm gonna do another one. Uh Macy's Fourth of July fireworks shows us uses tens of thousands of shells. Tens of thousands of shells.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:03

I know, I would have been in heaven as a kid.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:05

I'd be like, I got it, I got another one. I did it.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:13

Hang on. Yeah, fucking amazing. 2,000 degrees, and we just hand those to children. But your skin can melt at only 1,000 degrees. Yeah. It's such a bad idea. Never in my life did I think I would chat GPT at what temperature does skin melt? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:51

But it's so funny because like you got like a bunch of five year five-year-olds running around, and we're just giving them birthday candles from hell. We're like, here. And they don't go out either. All right, make sure you run as fast as you can over that hill.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:07

Yeah, yeah. Just go go see your friends. They're all running that way. You see the stairs on the deck, make sure you jump off of those.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:13

Yeah, yeah. It's something wildly inappropriate, especially while you're wearing flip-flops.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:22

Uh, I never, it's so funny because it's true. I never actually thought about it.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:27

What a bad idea. Oh man. Um, all right. I'm gonna, I got some more questions for you because for some reason I'm interviewing you today.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:38

Let's go.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:39

What's the most American fact on this list?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:50

There's two answers that I think are correct. I think it's 150 million hot dogs consumed.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:01

Or that 99% of it of the fireworks are imported from China.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:08

That's funny because my two picks are Maine has lobster races on the fourth. And I think it's so super American that we're handing sparklers to kids and they burn at 2,000 degrees. Uniquely American.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:31

Yes. Like nobody in the but in what Belarus is doing that.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:39

Belarus. Do they have 4th of July too there?

SPEAKER_00 1:15:45

Uh they have to have like an independence day, right? Do other countries like have a a a day that they celebrate for I know like France might have like have Bastille Day.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:00

Um, I'm pretty sure Mexico has a big um independence day. Let me look. Let's look this up. We we gotta know about our our neighbors in down south.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:20

Oh boy, I can't spell. Let's see.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:30

No, I don't want you to know my current location. Um, oh yeah, Mexico celebrates his Independence Day September 16th, and it is the most important national holiday. Yeah, yeah. Alright, cool. We learned something. That's good. We learned something. Hell yeah. I know we we never learned anything on this show. I know, we learned two things.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:56

Wait, what's the second that the sparkler can melt your skin? Oh yeah. That's right. Yeah, but we didn't learn our lesson. No, we're still gonna we're still gonna do it. Yeah, we're still gonna do it. Um, all right, let's see. Is the hot dog the official food of America?

SPEAKER_00 1:17:17

Official food of America. Yeah. No. And I think that's why this is interesting. Thus many hot dogs are purchased on that day. Because I think the official food of America's gotta be the burger. The burger? It's gotta be, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:17:35

I don't know. This is what I think is real maybe the bur, maybe the burger is the official food food. I'm not sure. Um because what I think is really cool about America is we've got I know people will argue with me and be like, yeah, you go to Italy and like the Italian food's so fucking good. Well, yeah, you're in Italy. Obviously, it's good, right? You go to Mexico, you get authentic Mexican food, and people are like, oh yeah, it's so good in Mexico. You're like, this isn't real. Um, even I do it. When I get sushi, I'm like, I've been to Japan. The sushi there is so much better. But the best part about America, one of the best things about America is you do have awesome Mexican food. You've got great Indian food, you've got the most amazing Italian food, and like you got this like really cool American Italian food, you know, um, that like kind almost like changed our culture in a way. Um, but like all these people came in and like we got to enjoy their cuisine, and it like it permeates, and I don't know what the good a good word is, but because I want to say infects, but that's got a negative thing. Uh like it permeates our entire culture and the food. So you get these cool fusions, you know what I mean? Like you get like now you get breakfast burritos, you know what I mean? And you get like really good, you get Columbus. There was a place that had amazing breakfast tacos, amazing breakfast burritos. So I think that's a cool thing about America. And I just went on a weird rant about food, but I don't know what the most American food is, because we get to celebrate all these people's food. And I love I love it.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:25

Yeah, and I think I think this is an interesting angle too, because I think sometimes a lot of the complaint is like we don't I don't really know that there's an American style of food, but perhaps it's more like celebrating the other like other styles of food in an American way, is what kind of we do, because Italian food's amazing, Mexican food's amazing, French food's amazing. And so I guess I don't know, we've just kind of brought it and taken those ideas and expanded on them here. It's not gonna be like any Italian restaurant here, like my favorite Italian restaurant, is awesome, unbelievable. And I'm there's probably no way it's as good as any place in Italy, like a given. They've been been doing that for thousands of years there. Like, so yeah, it's a like there's a there's a difference. Um, but this is a good take. I like this.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:17

All right, I'm glad. Um here's a very important question that I've been waiting to ask you. Are fireworks worth it or are we all just depending? Depending, pretending.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:36

Are we all just depending? Well, I don't know. It depends. Uh no, it pretends.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:43

Oh, yeah, that's right. All right, let me try this again. Are fireworks worth it or are we all just pretending?

SPEAKER_00 1:20:53

It's only worth it for the kids. Yeah. I think like if anybody here, and I think if you are dating someone, you're dating a like you want to take your girl to fireworks.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:10

But as soon as you're like a thing, no more.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:15

Yeah, fireworks start. That's a great time to like do some hand holding.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:19

Yeah, it's a it's a nice, it's a nice moment. It's uh especially around here. You can go to the river, see them over there. We've got the water in front of you. It's very nice setting, and uh, you know, that could be very lovely.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:30

But yeah, I we have a we uh we you've been to the lake, the Candlewood Lake. Um, yeah, they do a nice fireworks show, and you're right. I I went on dates to the Candlewood Lake fireworks before. There you go.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:44

Yeah. Now I will say, like, if you're at a bison's game on a Friday night or Saturday night, whenever the hell they do that, uh, that's the minor league baseball team here. Uh do the fireworks show. And like, if I'm already here, I'm not going through rigor to go see the fireworks. I'm all I've already done the rigamarole to see the game. I might as well stay for fireworks. Yeah, you might be there being like I don't leave like sweaty, being like, holy shit, that was incredible.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:12

Yeah, that's true. Well, you know, I um that drive home seeing all those different fireworks shows happening as we're just going down the highway. Um, I don't know, it was a really cool moment. And I'm gonna um I'm gonna quote Marty McFly. It was pretty heavy. Because you kind of realize there's all these people everywhere celebrating the same thing that you were celebrating, you know, hours before. And I'm just like, oh yeah, like we're all doing this, you know?

SPEAKER_00 1:22:51

Yeah, and I think that's cool. I I guess that is what's special about the fourth, is that it's it's I don't know, but like not everyone celebrates Christmas, not everyone celebrates Hanukkah, not everyone celebrates really Thanksgiving. People don't some people don't do anything for that, but like yeah, pretty much everyone is celebrating the fourth at the same time, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:23:13

And I think that's cool.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:15

That is cool, that is a cool thought. Think about this. Yeah, think about how while the fireworks are going off in New York, ain't nothing going on in Indiana yet.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:27

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:28

And now that there, so if you were to like see it from space, I bet you you would see like the flashing travel across the country.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:40

I was just gonna ask you, can you see you got you must be able to see this from space?

SPEAKER_00 1:23:45

I would think you probably could, but why like why haven't we ever done that? Why hasn't NASA ever taken photos? Why is why can't we get the International Space Station take some friggin' photogs?

SPEAKER_02 1:23:57

Well, that's what they should do. What I want to see is them orbiting the earth as they're going, and you can see well, they're traveling so fast, they probably pass it all, right? I don't I don't know. Man, I don't know. I don't know how that works. I know I know how much I you know how much I hate Neil deGrasse Tyson, but yeah, if he was here right now, he could tell us. He could tell us, he would do it in a way that makes him sound more important than he is, but he would tell us.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:33

And then he would do that one thing where he try he tries to be cool and he goes, chill, chill, chill, chill.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:41

Oh man, god, I hate him. Um wow, you know what's so much fun? We did all of this stuff, we didn't get any the like the serious deep end thing. Um but this was a great this was a great time. I really enjoyed talking about the fourth like this. Um maybe next year we can have a fourth of July episode before the fourth of July. Hell yeah. Yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah, we really need to like jump on these opportunities when they arise. And uh we're always missing the park a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:23

It's kind of what we do, it's kind of our thing. Yeah, um, yeah. So tune in to our next podcast because we're gonna get into the deep end where we talk about something a little, maybe a little bit heavier while uh also thinking about um the 4th of July and how excited we are to be like with together with friends and family and how that might kind of coincide or clash with the things that are maybe going on in the country right now and the divisiveness that we have. So I'm actually glad we broke it up this way because we can talk about what brings us together, and maybe we can talk a little bit next time about what's dividing us right now.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:55

Yeah, I think this is a great idea, and I think it worked out really well.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:59

Yeah, man. This is a good idea. This is this is gonna be fun. So yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:03

You gotta catch us. You got any closing thoughts? Because obviously, from the last two episodes, we know I can't close this out.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:12

Um, any closing thoughts? I mean, not really. Um, I've I I have to say though, you know, do you know you remember like growing up, right? And you there I feel like everybody has like that one summer that like they remember everything. It was just like a really fun time, cool summer. And I I don't know, is that is that something you like when you think back to summers, you're like, it's like I remember this one where all this shit happened.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:41

I do. I I remember that summer, it was the best, like most fun, awesome, coolest summer, but it was also like one of the most like heartbreaking too, and I remember almost every detail of it. Um it was a wild summer.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:05

Yeah, I so I sometimes think about that. Like when I go back, I'm like, it's this, it's the summer when I it was like I was maybe 15 or 16 years old. Like I was just uh I was in high school, it was like just in high school, and I like everyone was over all the time, the family, the friends together in this, and I remember those days feeling so much longer. Like 4th of July when we were younger, it was it seemed like it lasted days. It was like the day was so long. Now it goes by so quickly. So if I I guess if there's anything, is just take the time to take a step back at any of those functions you're at, especially on holidays, just take a step back and look around. Look what's going on. The people are around, they're having fun, you got friends, family, and those are the snapshots that you're gonna remember.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:54

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:55

Take the time.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:56

Yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:00

Other than that, we're out of time. Yeah, we are. No, don't complain. I'm the complainer. Fair. But I think I will uh I think we will have a really cool, interesting discussion about um about the state of America and patriotism. I don't want to give I don't want to give too much away.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:28

No, no, no. But I just want to warn everybody, we have no idea what we're talking about, and it's probably gonna make no sense. And quite possibly make America worse. So, you know. Tune if you tune if you tune in if you dare. Tread lightly.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:47

There's sand in the potato salad.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:52

All right, we gotta go. Yeah, we do. All right, thanks for checking us out, guys. Don't forget to take a look and interact with us on uh Instagram, YouTube, all of our socials. Uh please, please do. We are we're on there all the time and we like to chit chat and and engage with you. So please do that. Absolutely. All right, we gotta go. We'll get boogie.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:15

Thanks, everyone. We'll get boogie. Bye.