Bullsh!t & Bourbon

Chaos at the rodeo... and missing bourbon?!?!

In today's episode, we welcome special guest, Aryan Azizian and we break down a scam allegedly targeting rodeo vendors, in which fraudsters appeared to request payments via apps such as Zelle and Venmo, which turned out to be more bull, than rodeo.

Then we dive into the legendary Pappy Van Winkle theft connected to Buffalo Trace Distillery, involving stolen bottles, disappearing barrels, bourbon flipping and one of the wildest whiskey crimes in American history.

It's true crime with bourbon notes, hints of rodeo dust, a splash of legal breakdowns... and garnished with a discussion about coffee orders

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:06

I listen up and no one gets hurt.

SPEAKER_00 0:09

This is a podcast that focuses on clients and stands where no one physically gets harmed. This is a podcast for information.

SPEAKER_01 0:22

So listen up and no one gets hurt. All right. Well, don't forget to like and subscribe and in the comments. Tell us what we like to subscribe.

SPEAKER_00 0:32

Welcome to today's episode. We have a heavy hitter in the house. So that to me is big time.

SPEAKER_03 0:42

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 0:43

So we have Ari. What's your handle?

SPEAKER_03 0:47

At A-R-Y Azizian. You gotta like write it. It's too long. I gotta change my name.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

I'm gonna put it on the screen. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:55

It's too long.

SPEAKER_00 0:55

No, don't change your name.

SPEAKER_03 0:57

Thanks for having me. Yeah, welcome. This is fancy.

SPEAKER_00 1:02

Well, you know, only the best, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:04

Nice couch.

SPEAKER_01 1:06

Got lumbar support. Oh yeah. You should have seen what they were doing with this couch earlier.

SPEAKER_00 1:14

We're just gonna edit that out. But now she's gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

Do they do that beer? Yeah, it's a casting couch.

SPEAKER_00 1:19

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:23

Surprise.

SPEAKER_00 1:26

That's why we brought you here. Thank you. That's an honor to be here. So uh I mean, not to put you on the spot, but you were in Netflix is a joke, Fest, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:37

It is a joke. Yes. What was that like? This is my first time. It's probably I heard it's the rumors that it's the last festival. Really? So I was like, that makes sense. It's the first time that I'm in it. No, it was like anything else. It was just like a normal show, but then they put that sticker on it.

SPEAKER_00 1:56

No, but it's cool. I I've seen so many different, like, really big name people coming in.

SPEAKER_03 2:01

Did you go see any of the shows?

SPEAKER_00 2:02

No, I didn't. Um, unfortunately, uh, it's just LA. You know, you're driving down here. It's a little bit of a drive, you know.

SPEAKER_01 2:09

So it's a bit of a height.

SPEAKER_00 2:11

And I had my own show last night that I hosted in Ocean Beach. So where was that at? In Ocean Beach. Or was it was uh uh it's a bar called the North Tavern. It's uh in Ocean Beach. Uh it's the production is Lazy River, Jesse Egan. He Oh, I've heard about that show. Cool. Yeah, it was it was very good. Um, there was, I think, I think it was like seven, six, six uh comics, but at the very end, one of the members in the crowd thought that he wanted to get in on the action, and he was like, Can I get three minutes? And I was like, No. And then he was started trying to heckle the last comic, and then instead of the last comic just kind of like ignoring it, he kind of went with it and it got a little got a little heated.

SPEAKER_03 2:56

So you were running the show?

SPEAKER_00 2:58

I was the host, yeah. I was I'm not I wasn't producing it, but I was the host. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:02

I hate those guys, but also it is fun letting them go up and completely eat shit. It's kind of worth it to just be food the whole time. Yeah, just let them, yeah, go do three minutes.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Go ahead. Yeah, go ahead and fuck around and find out. Yeah. Probably not what he thinks it's gonna be.

SPEAKER_00 3:18

Yeah, yeah, no, for sure. But I and I looked to the producer because I and it was towards the end of the night, so I kind of felt like it was gonna be a no, and he was like, no. So I I I respect Sensei. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 3:31

That's fun. Nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How about you? Uh I went to uh Kill Tony last night. Nice. Did you sign up? I did. Uh I didn't get picked. Where's your wristband? It's uh in the fucking trash.

SPEAKER_03 3:44

Were you close to getting picked? How do they do that?

SPEAKER_01 3:46

I don't so it actually I didn't know it worked like this, or maybe they did it like this for this one or whatever, but everybody signed up. They had the sign-ups for two hours, and then afterwards they came out and they called 20 names. Okay. And those are the names that went in the bucket and told everybody else, thanks for coming. Damn.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

So I've actually been to the mothership uh as a spectator, and uh we went, I knew we weren't gonna get tickets for Monday night. I went with my husband and two friends, so there's four of us. So I was like, the chances of us even getting, you know, the wait list or whatever, you know, like walk-ins, because there's the people buy that's sold out immediately. So I thought, you know what, let's not let's not try to even get in. So we went to at that time it was uh I think called Poor Decisions across the street from the bar or from the comedy club. And I said, let's go over there and see the action. That's where all the people who sign up hang out before they get called. Oh, right. It was it was interesting. Like people were just like like writing and writing and thinking, like, if you I mean it's one minute, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 4:50

Like I'm like a homeless shelter, just like psych ward.

SPEAKER_01 4:53

Well, yeah, it kind of I mean it kind of There was almost zero of that last week. Really? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:58

Was it all comics from LA?

SPEAKER_01 5:00

Uh mostly. I've recognized maybe like one or two from like IE or OC, but it was mainly LA comics, I would say. Okay. It's a bunch of people I'd never seen before.

SPEAKER_00 5:09

Well, I signed up for it one time when I shouldn't have signed up for it. Thank God I didn't get picked, but it was at uh at Sofai Stadium, like YouTube theater. And when I was signed up, it was interesting because uh there were people there with like, I I drove in from Denver.

SPEAKER_01 5:24

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:26

Like I'm like, damn.

SPEAKER_01 5:27

One person, uh one of the bucket pools last night actually drove from Vegas. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So like three hours.

SPEAKER_00 5:34

Yeah, four ish.

SPEAKER_01 5:36

And he got picked? Three if I'm driving. Yeah, he done. That's worth it.

SPEAKER_00 5:39

Three if you're driving. Yeah, yeah. No, but so but So wait, how long have you been doing comedy?

SPEAKER_01 5:45

Uh a little over a year. Nice. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:46

How about you? Me too, just a just a bake.

SPEAKER_01 5:49

We probably started around about the same time, but not together. We actually met at uh roast battle. No kidding. Yeah, they they put us up against each other. She won her first round, and I won my first round. What was the joke against each other?

SPEAKER_03 6:01

Tipped it over.

SPEAKER_00 6:02

Well, okay, to be fair, I didn't know it was a roast battle when I signed up. And my husband and I get there and he's like, We're out of here. This is you're not doing this, this is not your brand. He's like, he's like, You're too nice. I was like, okay. Yeah, he's my agent.

SPEAKER_03 6:17

But was it at the store?

SPEAKER_00 6:20

No, no, no, no. Uh it was at the Noble Ale. I'm like, no, yeah, it was a Nobel in aheim. So the first uh comic, when I realized who it was gonna be, uh, do you know who it is? I'll tell you later. Anyways, he's because I just don't want to well, I don't want to harass, but um, so we get up and he's kind of nice, he's kind of timid. So I'm just like, I'm just gonna just kind of go easy, like who cares, you know, just for fun.

SPEAKER_03 6:44

And um It's like improv, like it's like not written out.

SPEAKER_00 6:47

I I had like a couple things written down, so I was just like, I don't know, you know, like I'll write a couple things down. And he he like had something like he's like, Well, your highlights look like someone pissed in your hair. I was like, Oh, and he always wears, I know, he always wears earbuds, like no matter what, all the time, like on stage, off stage, like you know. So I said something like, Um, are the voices in your head jealous of your earbuds? And that that I think was the kill shot for me. So, and then when I advanced, um I think I had a couple good ones, Antonio, and then we I promptly apologized. We started following each other on Instagram, and we became friends.

SPEAKER_03 7:24

So that's nice. Yeah, very good.

SPEAKER_00 7:26

So, do you do roast battles?

SPEAKER_03 7:28

No, I've never done it. No, uh-uh. I don't think I could take it. It's not your brand. No, I wouldn't want it. I'd like I get real offended real quick. Like, why'd you say that? Fucked up, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:41

Yeah. I grew up with a lot of cousins, so it was like pretty much you know, they they were always harassing no matter what. So I get a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 7:50

You grew up in trap houses and barber shops, so what's a trap house? It is a genre of music. Uh street pharmacy is operated out of street pharmacy.

SPEAKER_03 8:01

A street pharmacy.

SPEAKER_01 8:02

It's a drug house.

SPEAKER_03 8:03

Oh, drugs. Got it.

SPEAKER_00 8:05

Our I don't how old are you?

SPEAKER_03 8:07

33.

SPEAKER_00 8:07

Okay. So my generation, it would be like a drug den.

SPEAKER_03 8:11

Yeah, crack house. Yeah, crack house. Is that the same thing? Yeah. Same exact fucking thing.

SPEAKER_01 8:15

How old are you? 35. 35.

SPEAKER_03 8:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

Alright, so you guys are in the same little millennials.

SPEAKER_03 8:21

Yeah. Yeah. We grew up at the same time.

SPEAKER_00 8:27

So anyways, I I picked two stories today I think that I was hoping would resonate with you. Alright. Okay. So the first one I would say is more like a an appetizer, nothing big, you know. But um, do you like going to the rodeo?

SPEAKER_03 8:43

I've never been.

SPEAKER_00 8:44

You've never been to a rodeo?

SPEAKER_03 8:45

Yeah, I want to go.

SPEAKER_00 8:46

Have you ever been to a rodeo?

SPEAKER_01 8:46

You look like you own a rodeo.

SPEAKER_03 8:47

I look like I own a rodeo.

SPEAKER_00 8:50

Have you ever been to a rodeo? Uh well, you're from Virginia. How do I know? I don't know. Are you mad at me that I'm asking this?

SPEAKER_03 8:59

Oh, I went to one. But it was like really a rinky day.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:02

Now that I think about it. But no, I haven't been to like those big ones. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

The most redneck thing I've ever been to is called a mud bog.

SPEAKER_02 9:09

What's that?

SPEAKER_01 9:10

Yeah, so it's like what the hell's a mud bog? Dude, so it's it actually was kind of fun. So essentially it's it's people with like their homemade monster trucks, uh-huh. Or like big ass, like lifted trucks with big ass wheels. Like, not necessarily a monster truck, but you know what I mean, same size. And it's like competitions, like they fucking race them, they fucking drive them through a fucking pit of like car parts to see who can go the furthest. I seen a motherfucker crash a Chevy S10 into a trailer. It was fucking sweet. Hell yeah. So it's like monster trucks. But I'm budget. Yeah, well, yeah. If you imagined like the trailer park version of Monster Jam. Yeah, it's awesome. Mud bug. Yeah, it's fucking sweet. I'm into that. That's pretty cool.

SPEAKER_00 9:56

All right, well, this happens in Clovis, California, and it happened this year.

SPEAKER_03 10:00

They have a huge one.

SPEAKER_00 10:01

Yes, yeah, yes. So, what was happening in 2026 this year? Um, there were a poster was circulating that was inviting local vendors an opportunity to be a vendor at the rodeo. And all they had to do was pay $155, and then they were in. Okay. And there was gonna be 50,000 guests. So one of the Mexican restaurants in town, the owner, was like, This sounds like a really good opportunity. And so he went to look into it a little bit further, and the uh uh advertisement was like, just pay via Venmo, Zell, oh yeah, or PayPal. Yeah, red flag. That's a red flag. It is oh yeah, because that means it's cash, so you can't claw it back once it's out, it's gone.

SPEAKER_01 10:43

There's no refunds on those platforms. Really?

SPEAKER_00 10:45

Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:47

If you send money via Venmo or person to person, there's like the person has to send that money back to you, the company won't.

SPEAKER_03 10:54

Damn, okay.

SPEAKER_01 10:55

Yeah, like I'm I would imagine eventually if they realize that there was scam or fraud, you could report it to your bank and they might replace it depending on I guess their insurance policy or whatever, but no, they won't.

SPEAKER_00 11:07

No, I uh no, because uh okay, I have two instances where I I I have a tip and then I have a tail. So the tail is that uh I one time went to get my hair done by my cousin. I get my hair, I have a lot of cousins, like I said. And that's the most redneck thing about me. I have literally 20 cousins on one side and I think 12 on the other. First cousins. First cousins.

SPEAKER_01 11:28

Well, they're not your brothers and sisters, also, so not too red knit.

SPEAKER_00 11:31

Well, actually, my mom's youngest brother married my dad's youngest sister. Then they got divorced before they had children, but that's pretty crazy. That's that's some interesting stuff. But anyways, Armenia dress. No.

SPEAKER_03 11:45

Where are you?

SPEAKER_00 11:46

Uh a mix of everything. Yeah. My mom's side is Croatian and mud. So, anyways, so um they're mud bog.

SPEAKER_03 11:57

Exactly, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 11:59

So I went to pay her for the for you know cut doing my hair or whatever, and I accidentally sent it to the person right below her on my on my Zell. And uh I was like, oh no, and I wrote, I called Zell, I called Chase Bang right away. They're like, Yeah, once once it's gone, it's gone. Yeah, and luckily the person I was I knew ish, and so they sent the money back, which was cool, you know. So then I sent that person back another ten dollars and just said have coffee on me. Like, thank you so much, you know.

SPEAKER_02 12:25

That's respectable.

SPEAKER_00 12:26

Thank you, yeah. And then but the other time I had I always double check, I always send a dollar first, and then that way I know, like, okay, you got it, you got it, okay. Now I got the right person.

SPEAKER_01 12:35

That's smart. Fuck yeah, that's smart as fuck.

SPEAKER_00 12:38

You're welcome for that. Um, but this time I didn't do it because I was like in a hurry. I'm like, no problem, I'll just do it. The one time you don't, the one time I do it, right? And it was it was it was like I think it was like $400. I know, I know, I know, I know. Awful.

SPEAKER_01 12:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:55

So I've been a clubist and I went to a Mexican restaurant, and I think it was the only one in town. So I think I might have eaten at this place.

SPEAKER_00 13:02

Well, I was gonna tell you, so so I my Venmo situation. So I spend $400 on this person, and and and I'm like, Did you get the payment? Did you get the payment? And it wasn't like it was basically like a driver. I had to go somewhere and I didn't it wasn't Uber. And uh the guy's like, No, I didn't get it, no, I didn't get it. And I and I was like, Oh my god, I sent it the wrong person. And I'm just like that hot, sweaty feeling where you're just like, oh, I'm so mad. So I sent him the mentality.

SPEAKER_01 13:24

I have a question.

SPEAKER_00 13:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:26

Where the fuck were you going for $400? Fucking Texas.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

So I was going to my niece's college graduation in Santa Barbara. It was a Friday. I was gonna be driving by myself, and I had a very stressful deposition. I'm also an attorney. I think I've told you that.

SPEAKER_03 13:42

Um, I have a question for you.

SPEAKER_00 13:46

Attorney, thank you for the village. Um, but I knew I was gonna have a crazy depot that day, and I and my husband couldn't go to the graduation. And so I told my mom, I'm like, I think I'm gonna have to get there late because I'm gonna be driving by myself and traffic and all the things that my mom's like, just get a driver, I'll pay for it. She's like, I'll reimburse you. So I'm like, okay, no problem. So then that's that's what I did. And then I was like, oh, like, because I just I hate losing money, like no matter what, it just makes me irritated. So it could be a dollar, I get irritated, like it doesn't matter. So uh anyway, so the long story short is I send the money to somebody random and I and I message him, I'm like, hey, I accidentally sent you this money. And he was like, I don't even use this account. I'm like, no, no, you need to give me my money back. And he's like, I don't, I'm not gonna which he was smart because that's what a lot of scammers do. They send money, but it's like fake, and then they're like, send it back because it's not their money and it's like a whole scam, right? So this is my tip. So what I ended up, but this is Venmo. I ended up figuring out that if you are to contest services not rendered, you you can possibly get your money back. So I submitted a I contested services not rendered, like I paid, but the services weren't rendered by the person I paid, so they reimburse me the money.

SPEAKER_03 15:00

Yeah, so they're I hate this whole new world. Like Amazon, like you buy something and then they take your money immediately. And if you want to like return it, you have to go to the store and do it. You go to the store, but you don't get your money back right away. It takes like three weeks to get your money back.

SPEAKER_01 15:13

They all took that shit immediately. I hate it.

SPEAKER_00 15:15

They gotta they gotta, you know, get that interest on the money. So anyway, so the Clovis Rodeo, to make the long story longer, uh, the Clovis Rodeo sent on a blast and was like, this is not us, this is some scammer. And that was basically what was going on. And then I guess they were doing it too to um like uh rodeo guests, people that wanted to buy tickets or the uh same kind of an idea where there was like a scam poster out there that was saying buy your tickets through us, and it was fake.

SPEAKER_02 15:43

So how many people got scammed?

SPEAKER_00 15:46

I don't think that many because because Clovis Rodeo took the steps to tell the community this is not us. So good on Clovis Rodeo for doing that. That's a big one. Yeah, Clovis Rio is that. So many times these stories, it's like people know that the scam is happening and they just ignore it, you know.

SPEAKER_01 16:02

Icon could take a page out of their book. Are you a scammer? Me? No. No, I'm not smart enough, man. I used to break into houses. Indians are doing it. How hard can it be?

SPEAKER_00 16:18

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:19

I don't have the right accent. We'll work on it. You can you can do it.

SPEAKER_00 16:24

I can I have faith in you.

SPEAKER_01 16:25

We're not we're not getting racist on the podcast. Not yet.

SPEAKER_00 16:30

The night is young. The night is young.

SPEAKER_03 16:32

So is there another one?

SPEAKER_00 16:34

Yeah, so so the the one that was just kind of like a little taste test of it. Anyways, okay, so are you familiar with bourbon?

SPEAKER_03 16:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:41

Yeah, you like bourbon?

SPEAKER_03 16:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:42

Um, you play softball, I think, right?

SPEAKER_03 16:44

No, I just started. Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:47

When you played softball with your team, was that a pretty cool team?

SPEAKER_03 16:50

Yeah, they're great.

SPEAKER_00 16:50

Yeah, like you guys bonded.

SPEAKER_03 16:53

Yeah, I know most of them too, so it was fun. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:56

So um imagine like you're with your softball team and like everything is cool, and then you have a kid, you're married, and your wife's like, you can't play softball anymore. Like you you'd miss it, right? Like kind of be a bummer, right?

SPEAKER_01 17:10

Wait a minute. Yeah. Yes, yes. Tom Brady said, fuck that.

SPEAKER_00 17:15

Well, that's kind of yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 17:18

Tom Brady's a bob itch. So that's life. Damn, right?

SPEAKER_00 17:23

That's kind of what how this kind of bourbon story spins, all right? So before we go there, uh what do you know about bourbon?

SPEAKER_01 17:31

Uh it's delicious.

SPEAKER_00 17:36

Our first high five. Um, no, I mean, you know, is it it it's a type of whiskey? Do you know that? Do you know it makes it different than whiskey?

SPEAKER_01 17:47

I feel like I do.

SPEAKER_00 17:49

That doesn't count.

SPEAKER_03 17:50

Well then uh what is it? So wood in the barrel?

SPEAKER_00 17:54

Uh partially, but it is it has to be manufactured in America.

SPEAKER_03 17:58

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 17:58

Yeah, and uh 95% is uh produced in Kentucky, yes. And it has to be 51% corn.

SPEAKER_03 18:07

Ah yes.

SPEAKER_00 18:08

So whiskey is a grained alcohol.

SPEAKER_03 18:10

Big corn.

SPEAKER_00 18:11

Yeah, there's rye, all the different so it's like basically like a square can be a rectangle, but a rectangle can't be a square, right? So bourbon, it's a math math thing.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

I do math. That math ain't math and dog. They gotta be one or the other.

SPEAKER_00 18:26

No, a rectangle can be a square, right? I I think I made it superimposed it. Rectangle can be a square, but it's wait, hold on.

SPEAKER_03 18:34

Pull up a picture of a rhombus.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

Now I'm mixing it up. Now I'm mixing it up. No, it's well, whatever.

SPEAKER_01 18:40

Carry on.

SPEAKER_00 18:41

Okay. The point is is that whiskey, so not all whatever, who cares? I can't concentrate when he can't breathe. So all right. Okay, so anyway, so it's a whiskey, but it's it's bourbon and all the good things. And it has the flavor profile of vanilla, caramel, and oak. Have you heard of Pappy Van Wingle? Yes. Okay, have you heard of this fraud?

SPEAKER_03 19:08

No. Okay. Isn't it like $10,000 a bottle or something?

SPEAKER_00 19:11

Very expensive, very expensive bourbon. So basically, bourbon, my understanding is gets a resurgence because of the movie or the TV show, rather, Mad Men, right? Because they're drinking their old fashions and whatnot, right? So uh a little little bit I didn't think Pappy Man Winkle was like a real person. Sounds sounds like a Maple E person, right? No, it's a real guy, it's a real guy. So Pappy was this old guy that worked for another distillery and then decided to start his own distillery. And then so he is Pappy in Kentucky. Anyways, okay, so they have Buffalo Trace is their distillery. They they're partnered with the Buffalo Trace. That's who they're partnered with. Pappy's family basically locks in with Buffalo Trace in Kentucky.

SPEAKER_02 19:56

They have a bourbon.

SPEAKER_00 19:58

Yeah, so they they make all the bourbon, whatever. Well, um, going back to softball, the guy, one of the guys that was like the the badass on the softball team, you know, he had to retire because he had a family, and all of a sudden he started getting these opportunities to sell uh bootleg basically, like stolen Pappy Van Winkle, and he saw it as an opportunity for him and the boys to get back together. Teamwork.

SPEAKER_01 20:24

Oh, I like it. So replacing a softball team with a bourbon team.

SPEAKER_00 20:30

Exactly. A drinking team, if you will.

SPEAKER_01 20:32

I like it.

SPEAKER_00 20:33

Yeah, they more of an organized crime family, if you will.

SPEAKER_01 20:36

Yeah, bootlegging, right?

SPEAKER_00 20:38

It kind of. It it's not exactly bootlegging, but it's similar. It's like I would say it's very similar because they're not they're not making the booze and selling it. They're this is like actual certifiable papy.

SPEAKER_03 20:52

They're not they're not trying They're Trader Josing it, they're like white labeling it or not.

SPEAKER_01 20:59

What do you say? Certifiable Pappy was my stripper name.

SPEAKER_00 21:03

Tony O'Van Winkle.

SPEAKER_01 21:05

That's a good idea.

SPEAKER_00 21:07

Uh no, there are stories like that in the wine world. I'm sure there's like that too in Broken, but not this is not that story. So so basically, this guy, Toby uh Kurt Singer, he's and a bunch of other employees, they get together and uh they end up stealing a bottle or two, or three, or four, and then they're selling it throughout the community. So they're the like people because it's so hard to get that's the problem because it's aged. It takes 15 years, 20 years, 23 years.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

Holy shit.

SPEAKER_00 21:39

Right. This isn't just you know, making it more you can't just make another uh, you know, 15 year old bourbon. You have to wait 15 years, right? So it's scarcity. Um so they they're like stealing something like 20 cases, 20 cases of van Poppy Van Winkle eventually. There's other wild. Turkey that's stolen, they started getting really aggressive and they started stealing um barrels.

SPEAKER_03 22:05

Jesus.

SPEAKER_00 22:06

Oh yeah, and barrels, barrels weigh like hundreds of pounds. So it's not an easy thing to do. So one of the people that was involved allegedly, and all this is obviously allegedly except for Toby because he I he pled, but um the driver for wild turkey allegedly was involved as well. And so he was helping with the barrel situation.

SPEAKER_01 22:27

Like a delivery driver?

SPEAKER_00 22:28

Yeah, so he was he was basically diverting deliveries. He's like he was gonna deliver, like let's say I I'm I'm estimating, guessing, I don't know. This is my you know impression. Uh he would have like let's say seven barrels in the truck, and only like five would make it to where he was supposed to go.

SPEAKER_03 22:48

Smart.

SPEAKER_00 22:48

Yeah. So who caught them? Well, that's a good question. So uh there was an anonymous tip that you might find some barrels at Toby's house. So I know.

SPEAKER_01 23:00

The wife? No, no, no. That was for my first guess, too.

SPEAKER_00 23:04

No, no, no, the wife was enjoying the the fruits of the bourbon labor. Yeah, no, she was they were he was making so much cash that they were like buying a better house and buying more presents for the kids and like oh no, they weren't gonna go.

SPEAKER_01 23:20

That's like one of the main things not to do when you start getting illegal money is start upgrading your lifestyle. It's so stupid.

SPEAKER_00 23:27

That's number one. Do you do you remember what number two is?

SPEAKER_01 23:30

That you're not supposed to do when you get a bunch of money?

SPEAKER_00 23:32

Yes. Or what you're supposed to do if you get a bunch of illegal money.

SPEAKER_01 23:36

If I get a bunch of illegal money, yes, clean it.

SPEAKER_00 23:40

I mean, that might be in the top top two. Can I give you a tip?

SPEAKER_01 23:42

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 23:44

Well, I hope you don't steal money.

SPEAKER_01 23:45

The law you're giving the criminal a criminal tip is clear.

SPEAKER_00 23:47

Pay your taxes on it.

SPEAKER_01 23:49

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:50

If you pay your taxes on it, they it seems as though they are very more understanding and lenient on your uh your cut of your money.

SPEAKER_01 24:02

The IRS just wants their peace, bro. It's actually in like the their fucking policy or whatever that like you have to claim uh income from illegal activities. Oh my god. Yeah, they don't give a fuck what you're doing, they just want their piece of it. Wow. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 24:17

Yeah, so if you that's nine, I would say nine times out of ten, the the criminal cases that seem to occur, it seems as though what gets them is the tax evasion. That's the tip of the iceberg, and then it spirals from there.

SPEAKER_01 24:31

Look at Capone, bro. They couldn't get him on multiple murders that happened in the streets in broad daylight in front of people, but the IRS put his ass in Alcatraz. I say this almost every episode, dog. I'm more scared of the IRS than any other government entity, dog.

SPEAKER_00 24:47

Um, yeah, so it was something like I think they stole were uh over $100,000 worth of bourbon. The to give you perspective, the 15-year-aged bottle retail would be like $120. 20 years is about $170. Uh, 23 years is anywhere between $250 to $300.

SPEAKER_01 25:07

Honestly, those are reasonable prices.

SPEAKER_00 25:08

But the problem is is you can't get it because as soon as it hit like it's it's never making it to retail. Exactly. Exactly. It's it's so it's one of those luxury items that's so hard to attain that everybody wants it.

SPEAKER_03 25:24

So uh people like $200 a shot.

SPEAKER_00 25:27

Yes, so that's that's true too. So yes, yes. There's uh um there uh long long story, but my my one of my very good friends from law school was in town, and and he we had never heard of Pappy Van Winkle, and he was like to my husband, he's like, We need a shot at bourbon, and my husband's like, Okay, and he's like, We need the best. And they were our friends were staying at the montage and laguna, so they're like he goes, I want some papy van winkle, and they're like uh sir, it's gonna be $150 a shot. He's like, I don't give a shit. He's like, give it to me. And so they had each a shot of Pappy Van Winkle.

SPEAKER_01 26:05

There you go. When they could have bought a whole bottle.

SPEAKER_00 26:08

Well, if you knew a right guy, oh you know what?

SPEAKER_01 26:10

I guess that's right. We and I'm high, we just went over that. Is Toby in jail?

SPEAKER_00 26:14

I'll get to that, but yeah, no, good questions. Um, no, so it's interesting, yeah, it might be $150 if it's retail, right? But you're not gonna get a retail. And if you're gonna go to Toby, you're not paying $150, you're paying more. So, and then like I said, uh the truck driver that was involved, he was also getting a cut too. So they had to mark it up for sure so that everybody could get a little taste, you know what I mean? So, yeah. So it ends up happening is Kentucky treats it like an organized theft ring, and they're charged with theft, receiving stolen property, and criminal syndicate activity, which is like similar to bootlegging. That's gonna be in the same kind of category.

SPEAKER_01 26:52

That sounds like an awful charge.

unknown 26:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:55

Well, uh, they originally sentenced Toby to 15 years.

SPEAKER_03 27:00

But originally the same amount of time it takes to make a Pappy Van Winkle?

SPEAKER_00 27:04

You're a genius. I love it.

SPEAKER_03 27:06

Government.

SPEAKER_00 27:07

You're so smart.

SPEAKER_01 27:08

They thought they were being funny, huh?

SPEAKER_03 27:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:12

I mean, he's fucked up. He could make uh a bourbon in prison, right? Did you ever make any kind of moonshine?

SPEAKER_01 27:20

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:20

Yeah, what kind of moonshine did you make?

SPEAKER_01 27:22

Fucked up on my 21st birthday in prison.

SPEAKER_00 27:25

What you waited till you were 21 to drink.

SPEAKER_03 27:28

You made prison moonshine? You were in prison? This guy's a who have I been sitting next to this whole show? You were in 21 in prison? Yeah, I did six years. That's a country song. I did six years. Oh my god, what'd you do? Umbery holy shit.

SPEAKER_00 27:43

He he respectable. He like scooted over. Did you notice that?

SPEAKER_03 27:46

Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:49

I didn't mean to interrupt you. Please continue.

SPEAKER_03 27:51

We just met.

SPEAKER_01 27:53

I don't even fucking know this guy.

SPEAKER_03 27:57

Put my wallet in the car.

SPEAKER_01 27:59

I know I saw it.

SPEAKER_00 28:06

Sorry, I interrupted you. So you got you got a little uh in intoxicated on your 21st birthday?

SPEAKER_01 28:10

Oh yeah, I mean I had drank. I was fucking doing cocaine at like 12, dude.

SPEAKER_00 28:15

But I mean in prison.

SPEAKER_01 28:16

Oh, but yeah, in prison, uh where you make in the toilet? Well, we didn't make it in the toilet, we made it in trash can.

SPEAKER_03 28:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 28:23

Or a trash bag, I mean to say. And what you do is you fucking gather fruits from the chow hall or like the diabetics, they got a snack bag every day. Uh, and they generally wouldn't eat, they would get a little orange or whatever, and you take that, yeah, put it in fucking uh five gallons of water or something in a couple trash bags so it doesn't break.

SPEAKER_02 28:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

And then you order fucking like fireballs and like hard candies and things like that for the extra sugar content. Okay. And then you fucking you mix it all together in this fucking bag and you let it ferment. The problem is you gotta burp that bitch every fucking day.

SPEAKER_00 29:01

What does that mean?

SPEAKER_01 29:02

So You don't know what burp that bitch is?

SPEAKER_00 29:06

Do you?

SPEAKER_01 29:07

We all do. Yes. Duh. So uh we call it burping it because it it builds gas as it's fermenting.

SPEAKER_00 29:17

Oh, that's how you know.

SPEAKER_01 29:19

Yeah, because you build gas.

SPEAKER_00 29:20

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 29:23

And uh but you gotta release the gas, otherwise the bag will fucking explode. And now, so once you So are you tying it together?

SPEAKER_00 29:30

Like are you like keeping it like a big thing?

SPEAKER_01 29:32

Yeah, so it's it's in a trash bag, in a trash bag, in another trash bag. Just in case one breaks.

SPEAKER_00 29:38

And then you're tying it up.

SPEAKER_01 29:40

And then all the shit's in there, fermenting and the sugar and all that.

SPEAKER_00 29:43

Hopefully, not shit.

SPEAKER_01 29:45

Uh maybe sometimes. They do make it in the toilet sometimes, so I'm sure there's some poopy that gets in there. I never did that. I did wash my clothes in the toilet a couple times. Just because you have standards.

SPEAKER_03 29:55

It's crappy, Van Winkle.

SPEAKER_00 30:01

I met my match with the pun master over here, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 30:04

I know you're gonna put my pun counter to work today. Um uh, but the problem with burpinate is it stinks. It's fermenting fruit. So it smells like alcohol. Yeah. And it makes the whole fucking, and I was in like a you imagine like a warehouse type shit with just 98 beds in it, as opposed to like individual cells. Um, and it made the whole fucking block smell like alcohol. So like if a cop walked in there, a CO or whatever came in, they could smell that shit. Uh so that that was how many days does it take to make that? I want to say it took a couple weeks. Oh, yeah. And like the it'll it's the same thing with any alcohol. The longer you let it sit, like the more concentrated the alcohol gets. Sometimes you gotta get up in there and make sure it's not getting like too moldy that it'll get you sick. Oof. And it it is fucking disgusting.

SPEAKER_03 30:59

But it does the job.

SPEAKER_01 31:00

It tastes so fucking bad, bro. Like, we put so much Kool-Aid powder and sugar and shit in there trying to make it taste good, and it still tastes, yeah, like you're drinking it straight out the septic tank. It's fucking bad, bro. Uh, but I will tell you that I ended up passing out of my bunk with my fucking both my arms hanging off my bunk and both my legs hanging off that shit. I was so fucked up, dude.

SPEAKER_00 31:24

Was there anybody in prison that was like known for making a good moonshine?

SPEAKER_01 31:28

Yeah, of course. There was a couple, they always got locked up. We say locked up, they sent the seg. Oh like the individual housing units. Yeah, they don't they don't they don't like that shit too much.

SPEAKER_00 31:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:40

Uh and they they know. Especially once you you got dudes that have been there for five, ten years. You know what I mean? You at this point you can't really get away with much because they've done caught you doing everything if you're doing it. Unless you're really fucking good at it. Yeah, it's so hard not to get caught with the with the alcohol because it smells so bad. Alcohol and weed, it's almost impossible to fucking not get caught with it.

SPEAKER_00 32:05

But I would imagine that there's some of the guards, they don't give a shit because they're like, Oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 32:10

Well bribed. Some of the guards were even fucking bringing in like the weed and tobacco and shit. Like, I started to pick up on it, would be the same CEO or like sergeant or whatever that would search the dopemen every sick because they would do what's called a shakedown. Come in, fucking strip search everybody, tear apart your fucking shit, make sure you don't have any contraband or whatever, just randomly. But every single time it would be Sergeant Jones fucking searching the dopemen. And he's not searching, he's fucking he's in there like it'll it'll take a CO maybe like 30 minutes to go through all your shit. The fucking Sergeant Jones is over there with the dope man for like four hours. Jesus. Yeah. Like it, like it's fucking obvious. Once you see it happen like three or four times, it's like, come on. And then all of a sudden, as soon as they leave, like they get done with their shakedown and they go next door to do the next one. It's fucking smells like weed and cigarettes in the bathroom immediately. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:12

That's the time to do it.

SPEAKER_01 33:13

No, they're coming right back. Oh I got because they're not stupid. They leave and go next door, and then a sergeant or whatever will come back around, kind of like a fucking CHP getting off the freeway and hopping right back on it. Yeah, it's fucking so stupid. Uh you gotta you gotta learn, like, like I said, if you're there for a little while, you gotta learn, like, all right, I can smoke with this guy because he doesn't care. Or I can't even fucking wipe my ass with my left hand with this guy because he'll throw me in SEG for it. Wow. You you pretty much learn, like I've had fucking where we just finished blowing it down in the bathroom, like the whole block smells like weed, and the fucking the CEO came in and walked in the bathroom, and he was like, Whoo! and turned around and walked right back out the block. So it just depends on the person.

SPEAKER_00 34:03

Well, they probably appreciate if you're on if you're smoking product because then they're all chill, you're not like all right, bro.

SPEAKER_01 34:09

Exactly. Right, yeah, but I've had somebody come in and fucking just say they smelled weed and they come in and tear the whole fucking block apart looking for it.

SPEAKER_00 34:17

Now, Ari, when you were in prison, tell us a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_03 34:21

Yeah. I was in there for rodeo scams. Rodeo scams. What did you say?

SPEAKER_01 34:28

Rodeo scams.

SPEAKER_00 34:34

Well, anyway, so Toby, back to Toby. Um, so he was sentenced to 15 years, uh, but because there was overcrowding in the prisons, he didn't have to serve it. Guess how much he had to serve?

SPEAKER_03 34:45

Three years was your guess. Home arrest?

SPEAKER_00 34:51

Very good. Yeah, so he ended up doing 30 days in jail and then the rest was on probation. And mostly it was because he pled guilty as well.

SPEAKER_03 34:57

So did he throw his friends under the bus?

SPEAKER_00 35:00

That I don't think the the team? Yeah, the softball team. No, because I think that they figured it out. That there was an inventory also. So as soon as there was like an anonymous tip, then the inventory person Who was that? I don't know. They never they never, yeah. I have to say, um, if you find it was the wife dog.

SPEAKER_01 35:18

Yeah, I think it's always the wife.

SPEAKER_00 35:20

No, she was very upset. Uh, there's actually a really good documentary called The Heist on uh Netflix that is does a really good job of telling the story, so yeah. Um, but better than me. But uh no, there's nine to ten people that also got they all pled though, so they all basically got like a decent, you know.

SPEAKER_03 35:39

What kind of lawyer are you?

SPEAKER_01 35:40

Yeah, so I do law stuff, law your things, lawyer things.

SPEAKER_00 35:44

Okay, yeah. So but you piece of shit. Just kidding.

SPEAKER_01 35:53

I've been biting that off the tip of my tongue for months.

SPEAKER_00 35:58

Sure, let's go.

SPEAKER_03 35:59

I got a $300 ticket yesterday for what?

SPEAKER_00 36:03

Texty while driving?

SPEAKER_03 36:04

No, but they got like a perfect picture of my car, perfect picture of my license plate. I remember it clear as day, it was a week ago. I pulled on uh La Brea. Okay, and they have all these signs, and so I pulled over to the side to read the sign if I could park there, and it's got like 4 a.m. to 6 a.m., 7 a.m. no overnight, this sticker, that sticker, the and then it said anti-gridlock zone, 4 p.m. till 7 or whatever. That was like the last sign. So I pulled out, went over four blocks down the other way, parked in a residential, walked back to La Brea. In the two minutes that I was reading these goddamn signs, a bus, a city bus drove by, had a camera on it. The city bus took the picture of my car and gave me a ticket. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_00 36:50

I think that you can you can contest it.

SPEAKER_03 36:54

And you should my crime is I read slow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:57

Right. But I mean, at the end of the day, and this is where it gets sticky because like I think you can contest it. I think you plead your case here. I think you there's probably like an article or like a website where you can look. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I think if you do that goddamn and explain your situation, and if I mean risking going back and having this happen again, but I would take a picture of the signs and be like, this is not an easy like situation to read.

SPEAKER_03 37:20

And I was trying to and you and the bus can take a picture of your car now and get you.

SPEAKER_00 37:24

I don't know about that. And LA is crazy because I know there's they're re-implementing, I think, the red light cameras again or something like that.

SPEAKER_01 37:30

Yeah, I read about that. And they're doing cameras in uh work zones.

SPEAKER_00 37:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:34

Which I think there's a lot So if I contest this and go to court, is the bus gonna like show up after like fight the bus?

SPEAKER_00 37:41

I mean, that's a good question. You I think you it would probably need to be the bus driver that would need to show up, right? To confirm that they were driving the bus and you know, verify. But yeah, I I think you have I think you can contest it. I but I would be very careful in the time frames of contesting it because you don't want to be in a situation where all of a sudden you didn't pay it and now you have like a you know additional fine additional fines and a bench warrant out for your I just got it the other day.

SPEAKER_03 38:05

I'm so mad about it.

SPEAKER_00 38:07

I know, but see, that's where it's like that $300 zone where it's like it's gonna hurt, but then like the reality is like pay it. I mean, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 38:14

Are you kidding me? I know all these people are like pedophiles and child grapers, and I gotta get a parking ticket. Fight that shit dog. Fight it, thank you.

SPEAKER_00 38:21

Well, I'm not saying not to fight it, I'm just saying at the end of the day, you know what I mean? Like, I wouldn't risk it.

SPEAKER_01 38:26

That's what they're banking on. They want you to just pay that bitch without paying it.

SPEAKER_00 38:32

I'm just my only concern is that if you get into a situation where it's like if you're supposed to pay it within 30 days and then you don't, you might meet I you might want to also look to see if you can um ask for like a uh like a delay or like you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_03 38:46

Like you're gonna shove it up my poopy van winkle. I'm not taking it.

SPEAKER_01 38:53

Poopy Van Winkle is fucking crazy.

SPEAKER_00 38:58

Oh, sounds like you've got a little sad Van Winkle.

SPEAKER_03 39:01

So yeah, that's funny.

SPEAKER_00 39:03

Yeah, that sucks. I'm sorry. Well, you're my lawyer now, so I mean you haven't paid me, so technically you're not. You're on retainer.

SPEAKER_01 39:11

I got a ticket for parking in front of my fucking house. What? Yeah. Matter of fact, I've gotten a ticket for that two times. I guess on Thursday you can't fucking park in the street because of this fucking street sweeper. And it's like, come knock on my fucking door.

SPEAKER_03 39:27

They don't even clean the street.

SPEAKER_01 39:29

That's what I'm saying. He drives by and the street looks exactly the same. They're running a good scam on us. Yeah, facts, and they've gotten fucking five hundred and forty dollars out of me because of it so far.

SPEAKER_00 39:40

Dang.

SPEAKER_01 39:41

It's 270 bucks for parking in front of my fucking house. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 39:45

Well, you but you know, right? You know.

SPEAKER_01 39:47

Right, but I'm also human and sometimes come home. I park under the tree because I go smoke in my car sometimes. Because I don't smoke in the house.

SPEAKER_00 39:57

What a gentleman.

SPEAKER_01 39:58

But if if it's fu well, I got kids in the house.

SPEAKER_00 40:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:01

Um so I'll go sit in my car and smoke, but if I'm sitting in the driveway, I'm fucking like baking like a fucking oven. There's no sun cover. And then like I'll get high and be like, all right, now I have shit to do. Go inside to cook or clean or whatever, and completely forget that my car is parked in the street. I half the time I don't even know it's fucking Wednesday.

SPEAKER_00 40:23

Can I can I make a tip suggestion to you? Maybe me.

SPEAKER_01 40:26

Is this legal advice?

SPEAKER_00 40:28

I I it's a it's not legal advice as well.

SPEAKER_01 40:30

I'm like, I'll give you a dollar, we can work something out.

SPEAKER_00 40:32

No, it's a suggestion. What if you if you're gonna sit in your car and you know you're smoking a pot and you know after that you're gonna be like too high on your supply to know what to do, why don't you set an alarm? Like, hey, don't forget, move the car at blah blah blah.

SPEAKER_01 40:45

Or just stop smoking weed. Let's not get carried away.

SPEAKER_03 40:50

That's the through line through all of this. Weed's my downfall.

SPEAKER_00 40:55

Puffy Van Winkle. That's right. There we go. Anyways, well, I think this has got to be a short episode today because we have some time constraints. But um, yeah, I mean, I would love to have you back. We'll just make sure that we uh we tell you half an hour before the show starts.

SPEAKER_03 41:12

It's my bad. Orange County, 5 p.m. on a Friday. I don't know what I was thinking. Yeah, I'll make it.

SPEAKER_00 41:17

You were thinking this sounds like a really good time.

SPEAKER_03 41:20

It sounds so close. It's the furthest thing away.

SPEAKER_01 41:24

I left at like fucking 3 30. Do you live in L? No, I live in Montclair. Fucking I. Is that further? It took me, it took me almost an hour and a half to get here.

SPEAKER_00 41:33

Although you were probably not going against traffic. You probably were going like I was going against traffic.

SPEAKER_01 41:41

There was traffic on both sides, all up to five, the 57, the 55.

SPEAKER_00 41:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:45

What's your coffee order? Traffic was fucked. A dude, I don't know. She got that for me, and let me tell you that white girls know all the good coffee drinks because holy shit, it's fucking it's so fucking good.

SPEAKER_03 41:58

Because I wasn't, I don't want to like judge or nothing. What it what did you say it was?

SPEAKER_00 42:02

Uh I'll tell you. I'm right here. Yeah, hitting So this is Joe and the juice, and I got mine is just a regular latte, but I got you the vanilla honey cinnamon latte with whole milk and an added espresso shot because the directions were give me enough caffeine to kill a small child.

SPEAKER_01 42:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 42:26

You realize how funny it is that you went to prison and you're drinking what was that called?

SPEAKER_00 42:31

Joe and the juice.

SPEAKER_03 42:32

Joe and the juice? Joe and the juice. Joe and the juice?

SPEAKER_00 42:35

No, this is vanilla sugar cinnamon.

SPEAKER_03 42:40

Yeah. And then what did I get? Joe and what was my order?

SPEAKER_00 42:42

Joe and the juice.

SPEAKER_03 42:44

Zero times in prison. What was my order?

SPEAKER_00 42:46

Just a hot coffee.

SPEAKER_03 42:47

Black.

SPEAKER_00 42:48

Like you like it.

SPEAKER_01 42:50

Now, in my defense, what is my order generally?

SPEAKER_00 42:53

The thicky thick.

SPEAKER_01 42:54

What? That's not the case. What is that? I got that one time.

SPEAKER_00 42:59

You got it twice.

SPEAKER_01 43:01

I'm never gonna live it down.

SPEAKER_00 43:02

You got it twice.

SPEAKER_01 43:02

You know what I did when I got all three of us the same one.

SPEAKER_00 43:05

Yeah. I was like, just give me a latte. And I'm like, this is a delicious latte.

SPEAKER_01 43:09

It's like, oh um, it's like an Americano with sweet cream.

SPEAKER_00 43:13

It's it's a place it's from it's from a place called uh microdose. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:18

Yeah, but I I do, I get the irony.

SPEAKER_00 43:22

He's enjoying his life post-sentencing.

SPEAKER_01 43:26

That's what I'm saying. I'm a big fan of this guy. There's nothing wrong with that, dude. I got to use in a Spongebob shirt on. Yeah, that's awesome. I get it. With painted fingernails. Wow. That's I my toes are painted. They're blue currently, actually.

SPEAKER_00 43:46

Because of the paint or because of the diabetes, which a little of both.

SPEAKER_01 43:49

Yeah. The toes are blue and the nails are like a shimmery blue.

SPEAKER_00 43:54

That way you don't know.

SPEAKER_01 43:55

You're like, well, I didn't want them to clash like the boots and the shirt.

SPEAKER_00 43:58

Yeah, I know. They don't really. go together. But like I said, nothing bleeds with the red, white, and blue. Am I right? That's right. That's right. God bless America. Thank you guys for having me. And thank you. Thanks for watching. And uh like and subscribe. See you later.