No One Gets Hurt
JJ Jorgenson is a lawyer. Tonio is a felon. Together they talk about crimes, scams, schemes, comedy and more!
No One Gets Hurt
When Lawyers Attack
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This week JJ & Tonio welcome special guest, Kimia Hashemian and the trio take a deep dive into a tale of revenge
How far would you go to get back at someone you felt did you wrong? What's your favorite conspiracy theory? How do you pronounce San Pedro?
All of these questions answered in typical hilarious fashion on this week's episode
Do you have a story to tell or?
SPEAKER_06Not on the podcast I don't.
SPEAKER_02Fair, fair.
SPEAKER_06Not on the podcast I don't, but I will show you the bullet wound in my leg after.
SPEAKER_02What?
SPEAKER_06Yeah. I'll show you right now, fuck you. Alright, listen up and no one gets hurt.
SPEAKER_02This is a podcast that focuses on crimes and scams where no one physically is harmed. This is a podcast for information and internet. Nothing in this podcast can be taken as legal advice.
SPEAKER_06So listen up and no one gets hurt. New York has got that. Alright, well, don't forget to like and subscribe and in the comments. Tell us which game we'd like us to cover. Thank you.
SPEAKER_02Welcome back to our episode. Today we have with us our first female guest. Dare I say female comedian? I I love it because you actually were like, well, we were on a show together, and you're like, well, we've got done with the first two or sorry, no, you said we've gotten done with the female comedian, so now we're on to the real comedy or something like that. I was like, yes, it's so funny. Welcome, Camille. Hi.
SPEAKER_00Thanks for having me. Yes, welcome. Uh, what's your handle? Um, it's at Camille Hash. Great. Yes, awesome.
SPEAKER_06Short, sweet, and to the point.
SPEAKER_00I like it. I I was too lazy to type out Hashemion. So this was senior year of high school when Instagram came out. Oh, wow. Yeah. See, you guys are babies.
SPEAKER_02I'm I'm like, I remember when AOL came out.
SPEAKER_06I think I was in prison when Instagram came out. What year did it come out?
SPEAKER_022012.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I was locked up.
SPEAKER_02No way.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I've been locked up for two years already.
SPEAKER_02Well, Instagram first came out as just pictures, right? It was just photos. Yeah, yeah, it was just photos. Yeah, because I had I my cousin was posting photos and it was more like I thought it was more like to share like where he had been on vacation. It was my cousin's son. So my cousin that's my age has a son who's like 27 now. Okay. My cousin started a little early. And um, and so I was like, oh, okay, like cool. I get to see your pictures from like your vacation or something. And then all of a sudden one day it just switched and it was all of a sudden like people describing everything, everything. Yep. And I personally switched off of Facebook to Instagram because I felt like in Facebook was telling me too much about people, like it was like, Oh yeah, like I don't need they use it like a diary almost, yeah. Yes, and very like both very both sides politically were like telling me a little bit too much about what they don't like and what they do like, and I'm like, I just want to see what your kids are up to.
SPEAKER_06Show me the dog pictures, right?
SPEAKER_02Like I would like to see how your trip to Cancun turned out, you know? Yeah, but what's funny, reflecting on this, again, I'm much older than you guys are. Uh my grandparents, uh, when I would go hang out with my grandma, she would take me over to her friend's house, and then they would be like, Oh, let us show you our trip from whatever. And they would pull out a projector screen. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_06Yes, a projector screen.
SPEAKER_02A projector screen, and they would have like a clicker, and they had these like slides. It would be a slideshow, and it would be torture because you're like, oh my god, when is it gonna end? You know what I mean? So Instagram to me is like reminds me of the slideshow, except for I have an exit strategy. Whereas like when you're a five-year-old, you you have to sit and take it.
SPEAKER_00You gotta take it, yeah. It was that Snapchat came out. Do you remember that? Or were you you probably locked up still? Snapchat was, I remember my friend being like, There's this new app, you send something and it disappears. Anyways, I think they all do it. Now they all do, I don't do it anymore because I don't know how to use it anymore. It's like everyone's, I'm like, ah, I don't it's like there's reels part of it, you know, like TikTok kind of a part of Snapchat.
SPEAKER_06I didn't know that.
SPEAKER_00That's part of it now. People, if you got in early, it's like you were making thousands of dollars a month. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Well, what's interesting, okay. So our podcast is no one gets hurt. The crimes are no one physically gets hurt. So but sometimes we veer into the discussion of where people get physically hurt. Yeah. So I've seen murder cases where the person was like missing because their friend was like, we had a 180-day streak of sending each other Snapchats. And I was like, Aren't you gonna send me the Snapchat? And she never responded. So then I contacted her mom and been like, Hey, what's going on with whatever? And then they were like, Oh, she's missing, we gotta find her. Oh my god. I think that was yeah, I think it was a woman a girl that went missing in Iowa and she was on a run, and then someone captured her. Yeah, on the run. So we don't want to get into that, but that that but I'm just saying, but the idea of the Snapchat was like the tip-off because they had a 180-day day streak. That's crazy. Yeah, yeah. Now, see, the with Tonio and I, we'll send each other text messages and ideas for the podcast. And sometimes Tonio goes missing for hours, and then what I end up doing is I I was I I ask, are you alive? Because I assume he might be dead or in the hospital, one of the two. Well, when it's been over 12 hours and you haven't responded.
SPEAKER_06I think at this point you could just assume I'm asleep. I'm dead.
SPEAKER_02God damn you usually asleep, it's eight hours. Yeah. So when it goes past eight hours, I'm like, uh-oh.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, but we're talking about me here. I slept for two hours last night and fucking like 20 hours a week ago, it's fucking well.
SPEAKER_00That's what I'm saying. 20 hours is not normal. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Doesn't mean I'm dead.
SPEAKER_00It's a little like that's a lot. That's a lot. You should have like one of those, you know, where it's like you're driving, like, hey, this person's driving. They'll get back to like, hey, this person's sleeping. They'll get back to you in two to twenty hours.
SPEAKER_02And then maybe he's like it's like, give me the con combination of the concoction that you're using for why you're asleep that long.
SPEAKER_06Uh insomnia and depression. Yeah, it works every time. Yeah. Just try it out. Yeah. Yeah. One day.
SPEAKER_00One day.
SPEAKER_06Throw a little anxiety in there for some razzle dazzle.
SPEAKER_00That's when you get up and you're like, okay, I'm up.
SPEAKER_06God damn it. I guess I'm up.
SPEAKER_02Well, and and then I also have to realize I'm like, well, Tony is just my podcasting partner. If it was my husband, it would be off the charts of how angry I would be.
SPEAKER_06But uh I like to think we're at least friends now.
SPEAKER_02No, no, no, I know, but I'm saying, like, you like if you were my husband.
SPEAKER_06At least we know where I stand.
SPEAKER_02No, but I'm saying if you were my husband, then it gets to the point where like I am a saw a stalk a stalker, basically. I can't believe I just stuttered there, but a stalker. Uh, you know, where are you? Why aren't you answering your phone?
SPEAKER_06You know, so that would just make me not want to answer my shit, to be honest.
SPEAKER_02Well, what's well well for him, uh, if I call him and he doesn't answer, I will call him a second time. And then usually that triggers a text message. I'm on the phone with so and so, I'll call you back. Or if then if I call him again, then he knows it's an emergency, and it's never an emergency, so I never do it. But he's like, he knows if I've called like three times in a row, it's probably an emergency.
SPEAKER_06So he strikes your out, buddy.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we have but and I most of the time his phone is not charged, so it's dead. I have that problem too. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I have the same problem. I don't ever charge my shit. I didn't put it on the charger last night. Yeah, it's almost dead right now. Yeah, no, yeah, I just don't care. Fuck that phone.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and then sometimes we'll be on the phone and then like he'll just hang up. And then I don't know if it's the charger or if it's his boss. Because if it's his boss, it's literally like he'll be like, yeah. So then I was, and then click I'm like, what? And then he's like, sorry, boss walked in my office, or oh sorry, boss just called. So I'm like, well, at least I know where I where my priority is.
SPEAKER_05Yep.
SPEAKER_02But I don't care. I mean, that's that is the one good well, there's many good things, but so my husband's an attorney as well. So a lot of people are like, oh, like, wow, two attorneys, like that must be and actually for me, I think it's good because we both understand.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, you know, like I feel like y'all's arguments are civil as fuck. Like y'all don't have arguments, y'all have disagreements.
SPEAKER_02I I'm still like, you know, I can get a little unhinged. But he his his philosophy is he argues every day at work, so he doesn't want to argue with me. I'm very lucky.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, preach.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, but and then sometimes I like that fight, you know, and I'm like, where's the fight?
SPEAKER_06You're a white woman, it's in your DNA. It's true, it's very true, it's very true.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, anyways, all right, well, um we'll get we'll just jump right into it for the for the the uh crime today. What do you got? So I try to pick crimes based on what I think maybe the guests might be interested in or uh you know what the background might be. And considering that this is our first other attorney on the podcast, also how exciting. Yeah. Are you feeling a little outnumbered, Tonyo? No, two women, two attorneys?
SPEAKER_06Not at all.
SPEAKER_02Okay, all right, I like it. You're you're you're feeling strong? Yeah. Like it. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_06I'm bigger than both of y'all.
SPEAKER_02So this case involves two attorneys. Ooh. Yes. It involves a husband and wife attorney. And uh what what did you and Brett do? No, I know.
SPEAKER_06Are you about to confess right now?
SPEAKER_02No, no. These people have children, which I don't have, so uh, but this happened in Irvine in 2010. You might be familiar with it. Okay, it's the Easters, husband and wife. Uh yeah. So it's this is where we're gonna go with it. Well, before we get into it, have you ever had like a feeling of wanting to exact revenge against someone?
SPEAKER_06Never.
SPEAKER_02You've never wanted to have revenge again? Okay.
SPEAKER_00Yes, oh 100%. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02And have you ever like gone forward with the revenge plot or no?
SPEAKER_06Oh, fuck yeah. Really? Have I ever? What? Do you have a story to tell or not on the podcast I don't know?
SPEAKER_02Fair, fair.
SPEAKER_06Not on the podcast I don't, but I will show you the bullet wound in my leg after. What? Yeah, I'll show you right now. Fuck. Okay.
SPEAKER_02Oh, dang. So is that revenge against yourself or uh no, it just kind of happened in the process. Bad, Tony, bad.
SPEAKER_06Something like that.
SPEAKER_00Um, care to share. No, mine are just like, I think about it. I don't do, I don't take action. Right.
SPEAKER_02I'm like, it's too much effort. Yeah, I I'm not really a revenge plotter. I I might be like, I I wish karma on them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm more of like, I I don't know if this is even a thing, but I I'd say I'm a Sicilian grandmother. Like, once you cross me, you're dead to me. Like it's done. So uh yeah, that's that's kind of my I don't do revenge, I just cut you out, cut the cancer out.
SPEAKER_06Do you make good spaghetti though?
SPEAKER_02Oh, so I I would say sauce. Do you know that there's a whole thing about gravy? Yes, right. You've heard of this. Yes, I've seen the Sopranos. All right. So so the East Coast Italians call it gravy. West Coast spaghetti sauce? Yes. West Coast call it sauce. My friend who is Italian and grew up uh in Vegas, she and her dad is actually like from Italy, like born in Italy. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Only has two types of clothing track suit or suit. I kid, you're not like tracks, yeah. It tracks it. Yeah, that's a good one. But, anyways, she's like her opinion is it's like an East Coast movement to make it like a thing. Oh gravy, make it a thing. She's like, it's sauce, it's Nona sauce all day. Yeah. Because I think of gravy, I'm thinking like meat drinks, you know, I'm not thinking red sauce, and like thick, too.
SPEAKER_00Yes, but it's all sauce, but yeah, sopranos, I call it gravy.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so Rayo's is like this Italian restaurant in New York. They had one in Hollywood for a minute. Yeah, I think I think it's gone now, but um, and I think they have one in um Vegas and they they call it Sunday gravy. Oh, okay, okay. I went to Rayo's twice. The f I think the first time I went there it was insane. I saw uh I saw Gary Shanling, and it was like the week before he died, Sarah Silverman.
SPEAKER_00Oh dang.
SPEAKER_02Uh the oh gosh, I'm gonna forget names here. Um David Lavid Larry David and uh the guy that was the um senator from Minnesota that got in trouble, he was on SNL, the one that was like, you're good enough, you're smart enough, and dog on it, I like you. Oh okay, well, he's he's a big time comedian as well. All at the same table. They're all at the same table, yeah. So he was on SNL and then he ended up uh running for uh Senate. I believe it was a senator, yeah. That's crazy. Wow, yeah.
SPEAKER_06I mean, I guess Kane was a mayor. You don't know who the fuck I'm talking about. Did you ever watch like WWF?
SPEAKER_00No, I don't know. Is that WWE? It is now, yeah.
SPEAKER_06But it used to be WWF, and they there was one of the like superstars or whatever was a guy named Kane. Okay, and he's like fucking six foot eight and fucking jack, just a menace on the whole fucking show. And now he's the mayor of some town.
SPEAKER_02Oh no way. Al Franken. Al Franken. That sounds familiar. He was on S and L. He was a big time in SNL. Oh wow. Um, Jesse Ventura was the governor of Minnesota, and he was uh wrestler as well. Yeah. So that's crazy. I mean, it's not the first time or the last time someone from TV will be in politics.
SPEAKER_06Oh, 100%. I would vote for Mick Foley for president for sure. I know you don't know who that is, but some of our listeners probably will.
SPEAKER_00Mick Foley? Is it a WWE person? Uh yeah.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, one of the one of the best. Hands down.
SPEAKER_00I just know John Cena. That's it. The little that's it. And then the what's it called? Isn't that the Terminator? He's like the grave guy. The Undertaker.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, the Undertaker.
SPEAKER_02I know the Bella Twins, and I know China. Remember China?
SPEAKER_06China was so underrated. They did her so dirty. Yeah. I won't get into it.
SPEAKER_02Wrestling podcast. Uh, that will be on next. That's the after show on Patreon. You can catch it for $5. No, I'm just where I just go, I don't know.
SPEAKER_06This is just me talking and you like.
SPEAKER_02And I'm like this.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Make it make sense.
SPEAKER_02That's funny. Um, yeah. So anyway, so yeah, when we were at Rayos, they were all at the same table together, and every time they would laugh, we were like, I wonder what they're talking about. This is so funny. The Farley brothers, too. Yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_06It was one of the five comedians sitting at a table, all they're gonna do is laugh.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I know. But like you really felt like, wow, this is all I went, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, like you're dining in the same yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02But then I went again and no one famous is there. So all good. So, but anyway, so so um, so the people we're talking about today, their names are Jill and Kent Easter. Okay. So they met, I believe, in the Silicon Valley era, it was like in the early 2000s. She went to Berkeley for law school, he went to Stanford for law school, and they did corporate securities law. Okay. So basically corporation law, be making sure that um like uh contracts, uh, probably some SEC stuff, like make sure there's insider trading stuff, like all that. Make sure that they're uh complying with uh certain codes and whatnot.
SPEAKER_06Okay.
SPEAKER_02Very high level, you know.
SPEAKER_06I'm glad you mansplained because I had no idea what that was.
SPEAKER_00Hey, let us tell you how like the law works. By all means.
SPEAKER_06I don't know anything about securities law, but I know it's like I got pretty good firsthand experience about how the law works.
SPEAKER_00He has more criminal experience than I do. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02But yeah, so no, it's like you're gonna be, you have to go to probably like you know, Stanford or Berkeley to go, or you're in the top 1% of uh of a of a second-tier law school to get into that kind of area of law. It's because it's very dry, you know, very um intense, I guess. So anyway, so so they uh they meet there, they get married, they move down to Irvine. I think Jill, the person in this story, I believe she's from Southern California originally, so they moved down and they have, I think, two or three kids and they live in Irvine.
SPEAKER_06I'm sorry, you said they were both attorneys, right? Both attorneys. Did they both practice the same kind of law?
SPEAKER_02They that's how they met, apparently.
SPEAKER_06What are the fucking odds of that?
SPEAKER_02Well, that happens. Like, okay, this is this is a little inside baseball for you. Um, one of the things I learned in law school on the first day of law school is that there are no attractive people in my school.
SPEAKER_05I believe she just called you up. You know what I'm talking about. No, 100%.
SPEAKER_01I'm attractive.
SPEAKER_02I'm just saying my thanks so much, guys. Thank you. If you watch, like well, if you watch, and now again, I'm dating myself, but LA Law or Alleg McBeal, or I don't even know what would be a current legal TV show, but they always show where it's like the person that they're always like super attractive or suits, suits. They're wearing the most tailored outfits, they're all attractive, full makeup, full hair, and like the guys are like super tailored and no, you're like it when yeah, it's not it's not like that at all. I mean, there's there are there are outliers, but not very many.
SPEAKER_06I know my lawyer looked like dopey fucking dwarf.
SPEAKER_02They probably smelled, they probably smelled like a bear.
SPEAKER_06There was a glass between us.
unknownYeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02We were talking on a fucking You're lucky, because believe me, I have been next to some attorneys where I'm like, when is the last time you bathed? Like they don't remember.
SPEAKER_06They're just like the prisoners with the same problems.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, no, exactly. No, it's probably not too far removed. Um, but yeah, so so you when you're working billable hours, it's hard to go out and meet people. So you're gonna probably meet people in court. Okay, that makes more sense. Yeah, yeah, and you both have um, you know, social uh downfalls, like you're not very so like uh what's the word I'm looking for? Like you're awkward introverts, yeah. You're your social acuity, like it's not high, you know what I mean? So you're probably striking out if you are going out to like the bars, like you're like, hi. Can't tell you about my keys. My name. And then and then the other person's like, oh, you must have an exciting job. Like, oh, like, yeah, I made sure the contracts were compliant. Yeah, yeah. This contract was in compliance, and my client was happy. Like, that's it. Like, what? That's boring.
SPEAKER_06If you could just sign this, I'll give you my phone number. Right.
SPEAKER_02Right. I can redline it. Um, here's an NDA. But, anyways, so um, so yeah, so apparently they meet they they moved down to Irvine, pop out a couple kids, and um my understanding is they have a six-year-old that's in the school, and the kid was involved in an after school volunteer program. I think it was tennis. And Jill now is a stay-at-home mom, as you do, like you graduated from working in the law, you married you got you got your JD, and then you got your MRS degree. Yeah, and now she's allowed to, you know, roll with like, you know, just being a cool stay-at-home mom. And she so she's picking up the six-year-old after school and the six-year-old's upset. And she's like, Why, what's going on? And he's like, Well, I got I got left behind. And so she asked the volunteer, what you know, what happened? Why is my kid like upset? And she's like, Oh, well, your kid was slow to line up. Oh, and and he got left behind, but I'm so sorry, like we got him and everything's good. And Jill being, like I said, again, not attractive and also social cues are a little weird, like you know, sometimes. No offense to my lawyer friends out there. You know who you are, but um she said, y'all ugly as shit. And weird. Remember, I'm one of you, and so is my husband.
SPEAKER_06No, she excused herself.
SPEAKER_02She said she was attractive and y'all are fucking ugly. That's not what I said. There are no attractive people in law school.
SPEAKER_01I'm attractive.
SPEAKER_06I'm just saying, like, yeah, she said you should have seen me in law school.
SPEAKER_02I was like, oh, but just trying to survive, anyways. So she she was like, I'm sorry, did you say my son is slow? That's what I heard, right? So she was not happy, she was very upset with this. So she tries to get this volunteer named Kelly fired because she's like, This is rude. You don't call my kids slow. And no one wants to fire Kelly. Kelly's also a volunteer, so she's doing this out of like the kindness of her heart.
SPEAKER_06Can I get fired from being a volunteer?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'm sure you can, yeah, you could be asked to not come back for sure.
SPEAKER_06I guess that's fair.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, like if you were doing something bad, right? So, but everybody loves this lady, she's super helpful. Her daughter's a student at the school there, and so she's she's great. She everything they said she's like a free spirit, bohemian hippie chick, and she's just having a good time, you know. Very non-irvine. Yeah, I am like that's yeah, bohemian, not an Irvine trait. But, anyways, um, so Jill goes on this like tirade and starts like just trying to get her fired, trying to badmouth her throughout the school, like trying anything she can to get this lady out, and nothing's working. So she uh lays low, and then Kelly, the volunteer, ends up becoming the president of the PTA. So this makes Jill even more unhappy because none of her efforts have worked. It's actually worked the wrong way. You know, the lady got rewarded to being the PTA president. So one year from this instance of the child being said that he was slow to line line up, um Kelly, the volunteer, is at school, and uh one of the administrators comes and gets her and is like, Hey, there's there's a police officer that wants to talk to you. And Kelly was like, What? Now, if you were at work and someone came to you and said there's a police officer waiting.
SPEAKER_06I'm running out the back door. I don't do that.
SPEAKER_00Not again.
SPEAKER_02Well, how do you think you would react if a police officer came?
SPEAKER_00I think something happened to someone like I know, like some my mom, my brother, like something must have happened. Right.
SPEAKER_02I I think I probably would be in that mindset as well. Or like, or like maybe um they thought I was a witness to something and like they wanted to ask me like my opinion on it. Not that like I did something wrong, you know, probably, or maybe like sorry I was speeding in the parking lot today, sir. But like I, you know, my bad.
SPEAKER_06But I mean, like, speeding is about the excess of of laws that I break nowadays. Well, I mean, I guess my registration ain't no good right now. And I do be smoking in my car, but like these are good things to admit. The point is, I don't do anything that the police would have to come talk to me for, and I'm still out of there. Yeah, yeah, I don't care what they want.
SPEAKER_02So he goes, Um, there's been a call that you were driving erratically in the parking lot at 1.15 today. And she was like, Well, that's impossible because I was already parked and in the school by 1245. So the Irvine police officer's like, Well, that's weird. Like somebody would wait 30 minutes to phone in this situation. So the police officer goes, Can I search your car? Oh Tonyo?
SPEAKER_06Uh absolutely fucking not.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, good answer.
SPEAKER_06Fuck no. I mean matter of fact, it ain't even mine. I can't even give you permission. It's not mine.
SPEAKER_02Well, you you'd be like, Where's your warrant, right?
SPEAKER_06No, I would just say no.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Well, like you wouldn't say, like, do you have a warrant?
SPEAKER_06They would say that I feel like they would say they have a warrant up front.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_06And if not, no.
SPEAKER_02I think sometimes they want they don't I think it depends. I think some police officers want to like keep it low-key and then escalate if they have to, but it just all depends, I think, you know.
SPEAKER_06It's only two words I know when it comes to the police. No and lawyer. That's it.
SPEAKER_02That's what you should do. Yes.
SPEAKER_06That's all I know.
SPEAKER_02That's right. But Kelly, she doesn't have anything to hide. So she's like, sure, you can search my car. They they're like, Yeah, someone called and said that you were erratic and that they saw drugs in your car. And she's like, Absolutely no, I don't have any drugs in my car. Now, let me let me stop here too. Tony, if if you had drugs in your car.
SPEAKER_06I don't have drugs in my car right now.
unknownWhat do you mean?
SPEAKER_00It's out here. No. Brought it with me.
SPEAKER_06I actually did leave the drugs in my car. Where where are we going with this?
SPEAKER_02Your cop comes right now.
SPEAKER_06Hey, he still can't search it.
SPEAKER_02Now I remember when you were in Virginia Beach, you had a story about having drugs in your car.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Where were the drugs hidden?
SPEAKER_06In center console. They weren't really hidden.
SPEAKER_02But they were like out of sight, right? They were like, if if somebody walked past your car, they wouldn't see him, right?
SPEAKER_06Uh yeah, like just glancing in it. Right, of course.
SPEAKER_02Right. So the police officer opens the door and finds drugs right away. Oh. And it was half in, half out of the back pouch of the driver's seat.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I would have never done that.
SPEAKER_0217 grams of marijuana.
SPEAKER_06And like that's not drugs.
SPEAKER_02Vicodin. Oh wow.
SPEAKER_06Per cassettes. Drugs. That's also drugs. Yeah. I think it was like something like I'm gonna- you say she was volunteering at a school. Yeah. Yeah, you can't weed it all. So I okay. I understand.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and I don't it was like, let's say like 15 Vicodin, 20 per cassette, something like that, or vice versa.
SPEAKER_06Like sounds like breakfast for me in my teens.
SPEAKER_02And they were in special bags that were like marked, whatever. That's stupid. Like it said, I think it said easy dose or something like that.
SPEAKER_06No one's that dumb.
SPEAKER_02Right. So she's like, those are not my drugs. And they're like, okay, so they take her back into the school. And I guess the police officer has been doing this a long time. He's like 20-year veteran and just felt like something's off.
SPEAKER_06Like right, like, damn, I think this bitch is telling the truth. Right.
SPEAKER_02Who knows? And and and maybe it's because it's Irvine and not that stuff doesn't really happen too much in Irvine. So maybe that's his spidey sense was up. So he ends up doing a whole sobriety battery for her, and she passes, everything's fine. Um, and then he's like, Who who like why like you know, why would this happen that you'd have drugs? She's like, I don't know, I leave my doors unlocked sometimes. I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_06Me too. That's how the drugs got in my car. Just in case I came out this morning, my doors were unlocked, and all my windows were rolled down.
SPEAKER_00Oh, really? For reels?
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Wait, along with the back door?
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Whoa.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, like and the windows, that was my fault, like in my car, but there's nothing in there to steal. Yeah. So if you're gonna break in my car, I'd rather you just open the door than smash my window. You know what I mean? There's you might get some fucking cologne and a goddamn three-day old vape that's dead. Like, there's nothing in there.
SPEAKER_02Fair. Yeah, that's a good point. Well, so she was like, I no, I I I don't know why there'd be drugs in my car. And the police officer, like, well, do you have any enemies? And I guess either she or one of the superintendents was like, Yes, she does. The Easters.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I already knew where this was going.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So apparently uh the phone call that came in, it was a male voice, and it was uh like a whatever the number was, went in and out of an Indian accent. What?
SPEAKER_06I was gonna do it, I'm not gonna do it.
SPEAKER_02No, it's no, that's a hard no.
SPEAKER_05We were just talking about free speech.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, no.
SPEAKER_06It doesn't matter what accent it's in, it's still free. This is America. This is bullshit. Okay. I need a lot, I need a liar.
SPEAKER_02I'm busy. You can't afford me. You're not wrong. Um, so there said that the the uh the voice was a male voice that was like going in and out of an Indian accent and also stuttering. So they go to try to trace the phone number and they find out it is traced back to the island hotel, which is now the Pendry in Newport Beach. So they're like, all right, you know, and they and the number didn't call 911, it called, like I guess, the Irvine Police Department. So it went straight to the department. So it wasn't like I guess they had to subpoena their own records to figure it out. Like, so it took a little bit of time. So then they go to the hotel and they do surveillance on the like they sorry, they view the surveillance video, like the security footage, right? Uh and they see a male entering into the lobby and going into the phone booth. Again, this is like 2011. So there's probably still phone booths at that time. No more foam phone booths, okay. So they identify that it's Kent Easter. Oh dang. And what's even crazier is he is a partner at a law firm where? Next to Fashion Island, which is next to the Island Hotel. So he has proximity. Yeah. So dumbass. Then they figure out that his phone was pinging near Kelly's apartment the night of uh the stashing of the drugs. Oh my god. So he went to her apartment and probably her door was unlocked and stashed the drugs in her PT cruiser.
SPEAKER_06I wish somebody had stashed drugs in my car. That'd be as they said they were, someone did. Allegedly.
SPEAKER_02Well, right. So they when they did the sobriety test on Kelly, they had they oh, they also, sorry, I didn't even rewind. They're like, Can we go and search your house? And she said yes.
SPEAKER_00Oh my god. I know.
SPEAKER_02And they're like, because they wanted to see if they could find any of the same drugs at her house or the easy dose um baggies at her house, and they didn't find anything. So they did swabs of her and her kid, and I think her husband to match the DNA on the drug packets or whatever. Yeah. And the none of their DNA was on of course, right? It was only Kent and Jill Easter's DNA.
SPEAKER_06That's crazy.
SPEAKER_00Dang. I just go ahead. I want to like the Indian accent thing, though. It's like imagine the conversation they're having. Like, hey, call, call in, but like, do the Indian accent. That'll get enough.
SPEAKER_04That'll throw them off.
SPEAKER_02And I guess he had like a he had a name picked out that was like an Indian name, and it was like all like teed up to go, and he spelled it, like everything. He said he was a parent at the school and he saw erratic driving, and he was very concerned. And he's like, I think it might be that volunteer named Kelly. She drives a PT crew. It's like like too much, yeah, way too much. Yeah, way too specific. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06I want to know where they got the drug. I guess they're rich white people, they get all the good drugs.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I don't know.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Do you got any drug plugs? I guarantee you know at least one person you can call to get drugs.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah, I for sure. You've met the person. I was getting ready to say we probably both know him.
SPEAKER_06Shout out to my guy. I love that guy. I'm not gonna say his name, but I know that guy. I'm gonna send that clip to him. That's funny.
SPEAKER_02So, anyways, um, yeah, so they go to his office. Now, can you I I I can only imagine as an attorney, you're sitting in your office and a police officer comes in. My colleagues would probably freak out and be like, what is happening? Right? Like, what's going on? Somebody's in trouble, right? Well, so he gets interviewed, and um I guess while they're interviewing him and asking him like if he made a phone call, he starts to stutter. So they're like, huh.
SPEAKER_06Just like the And he's an attorney, he should have known to just shut the fuck up.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Here's what you probably already know about attorneys. Most attorneys think they're the smartest person in the room.
SPEAKER_06The smartest person in the room would shut the fuck up. No, no, no.
SPEAKER_00No, you think they're smarter than you, like smarter than the cop. They can go around the room.
SPEAKER_06Y'all think you're smarter than me, huh?
SPEAKER_00It's the male attorneys.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, for sure. And and I will say, I don't know if you went to Ivy League, but and I don't and I know Berkeley and Stanford aren't Ivy League, but they are, I would say, Ivy adjacent. I also think sometimes Ivy adjacent or Ivy attorneys have a little bit of a special air. Not all, but some. So they're extra knowledgeable, they feel they're also the smartest person in the room. I I'm gonna fast forward actually during the trial. I guess Jill Easter on the stand at one of the trials, I don't remember which one, but I guess at one of the trials, she goes, I probably went to the best law school out of everyone in this courtroom. Oh my god. Like that's you're even talking about the judge. Like, what are you doing? Yeah, and she went to Berkeley.
SPEAKER_00I was like, your husband went to Stanford, isn't that better than Berkeley?
SPEAKER_02I don't, I don't, yeah, I don't know.
SPEAKER_00I mean, maybe but it's also like that's the type of person. Yeah. They think they're better than you. Yeah. Better than the judge. I feel like if I were the judge and I heard that, oof, ooh, an accent.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, exactly. So um, yeah, so then they're like, so they continue to do the investigation. They're trying to figure out like what's going on, like, how did this all go on? And I guess when they like basically they shut down, they don't talk, and they go to uh the Easter's home in Irvine to see what's going on. They're casing the joint, they see a fireman show up. Like this, he's not in a fireman outfit, but he is a fireman. This guy showed up and he's got like flowers, and then he sees the police and he stops and turns around. Next thing they know, they see Jill coming out of the house in lingerie. So she's been cheating on Kent. Oh my god. Yeah. So now they see that they have an inn, they are gonna go to the fireman. Yeah. Because Jill and Kent aren't gonna turn on each other because they're married and uh they're gonna lock down, they're not gonna talk to the police at this point. So they figure we're gonna infiltrate through the fireman. So they have the fireman get wired up and then they have him talk to Jill, and then he's like, Did you do this? Why did you do this? Whatever, right? Mm-hmm. And because um Kent works at a law firm, they have to have a special investigative team to investigate him because there's attorney client privilege issues with other clients, not them. So they have like a I think they called it like a taint team.
SPEAKER_06Because they're going up your ass to find shit. Dude, I'm so locked in right now. This is like a movie, bro.
SPEAKER_02I know, I know. It's kind of like a book, right? Yeah. Well, guess what? So Ava, or Jill, I might my bullet, Jill has written books under a pseudonym uh, or out of sorry, out of um a pen name, Ava Bjork. And she writes she writes novels about getting away with crime. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_06So, okay, she was doing that previous to this happening.
SPEAKER_02Oh dang. And her name was Ava Bjork, I believe is how she was.
SPEAKER_06Sounds like she should have taken her own fucking advice.
SPEAKER_02And in one of the books that she wrote, uh how to turn someone in through an anonymous phone call. Oh my god. Well, except her husband didn't make it anonymous because he said that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Step one, Indian accent. Step step three, provide too much detail. Be very specific.
SPEAKER_06Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02We'll find 70 grams of marijuana, 20 percocets, 17 Vicodin, and an easy dose, but no, no. So so he is like asking her questions, and uh there she's like saying, like, you don't understand, like, and he's like saying, Why'd you do it? And then she's not saying she didn't do it, but she's like saying, like, basically, she's just making nonsense, right? So they go back through, and I also had to look this up because I remember there's since I don't do criminal law, okay. There's a there's a thing called spousal privilege, right? Okay, so you can't basically like if I if Brett and I were if one of us was in a lawsuit, I have the privilege of like whatever I tell him, yeah, he can't make you right.
SPEAKER_06They can't compel you, yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_00And you can you if he was gonna testify, you could say spousal privilege to stop him from testifying, yes. So okay, this goes like both ways. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Let me get this straight. Let's say we're married, right? Yeah, I commit a murder. I tell you about that murder, they can't make you snitch on me.
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_06Or you're you're just like not allowed to at all.
SPEAKER_00Yet you can say that like if I'm testifying, you say spousal privilege, and then I can't continue talking about it. But if you get divorced, if you get yeah, then that breaks the privilege.
SPEAKER_06Okay.
SPEAKER_00But it's even it's not just talking. If you write me something, that's still spousal privilege in that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06So like even if they got a hold of that letter, it wouldn't be a miscreant.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. But there is also exceptions, which I have to do. Yeah, there's a bunch of, yeah. Yeah, yeah. There's so many exceptions in laws.
SPEAKER_00This is not legal advice. Right. Yeah. Clearly. This is from our one class that I took in law school.
SPEAKER_06It's in the disclaimer in the beginning. Okay, okay, okay, okay.
SPEAKER_02Everything is alleged, everything is for fun, and not for educational purposes.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, we are not here for the facts.
SPEAKER_02No. We're here for the tea. So uh one of the other exceptions is if the married couple are committing a crime. Oh, yeah. So if there's a if there's a crime, then that is available to be discovered. So you have to get a special, like basically um like uh the taint team or uh I'm too immature not to laugh at that. Uh or an inspector, I think they call it an inspector to go through and decide like what is and what isn't privileged.
SPEAKER_06Okay.
SPEAKER_02And uh they also needed that for the law firm that can't work that. Now imagine again, the partners I I would imagine I would be pretty like upset if my partner was involved in a criminal. I mean, maybe I'd want to believe that he's not capable of it, but like that's just not a good look for your girls. Not at all. Yeah. And he's like this is like a high powered, like you're making lots of money. He's making a lot of money in this job, so a lot is at stake, right? Yeah, so they end up getting charged and they end up getting um put on trial together, and then I guess they, Jill and Kent, tried to get separate trials. They wanted to be tried separately, and the prosecutor argued against it because what I think the prosecutor was concerned about was that Jill would take the fall for it, and then she would say she did it because she's not the one, she's not the breadwinner, right? At this point. So and she and her legal license isn't at risk because she's not been practicing. So the concern was that Jill would take the fall. I think I'm I'm reading, I'm reading the tea leaves, right? So that her husband could keep that her husband could continue working, and so she would say it was all me, I did everything. And then they wouldn't be able to, but the prosecutor was successful in saying no, I want them to be tried together.
SPEAKER_06Probably for that exact reason.
SPEAKER_02Well, right, right. But then I guess Jill pled out. Oh. So then that way, again, they she was trying to basically effectively do what they're saying, what I was saying they're trying to do. Like, basically, it's all my fault, it's not Kent's fault. And then Kent took the position of like, I was just like, uh I knew my wife was cheating on me. Like, I was doing everything I could to like make her happy. Like everything I did was because at her direction, like so. Again, trying to put the blame on her.
SPEAKER_06I ought to let that bitch take the fall for sure. Shit and me. I thought she did it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, right, right, right. Yeah, so but um, so they both were so she pled guilty. I believe his first trial was a hung jury. Eleven wanted to convict, one was a holdout.
SPEAKER_06Wow, and then one will stop you from getting it, like you need all 12. Yes, damn, that's crazy.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. That's why a lot of times I think, again, not a criminal attorney, but I think a lot of people are willing to take the gamble of going to trial because they think that they can get a job. But then the flip of that is, I think, is that if you get a hung jury and the prosecutor smells blood, they now know your defense. So they're gonna be that much more prepared to go against you. Like, again, not to go into murder cases, but uh, I don't know if you followed the Murdoch case in South Carolina. No. Oh. So he was convicted of murdering his wife and his son. Okay. And then the clerk, if they found out, had um possibly tainted the jury pool because she had told them, like, oh, like, you have don't don't believe this, like, you know, he's shifty or whatever.
SPEAKER_06You can't do that. Right. Even I know you can't do that.
SPEAKER_02Right. But he's been convicted of of other crimes, like uh financial crimes. So he's like, he's okay, he's gonna be in jail for a while.
SPEAKER_06Like on the next episode, is what you're saying.
SPEAKER_02No, I mean, I thought about covering that one, but I j it's cut like the murder is too involved. Like, I mean, but anyway, so yeah, so um, but so he now knows what the prosecution has. So it's kind of a weird, it's a chess game because even though the prosecution knows what your defense is, defense knows what the what your prosecution goal is or your prosecution tactics are, and now you know how to maybe argue, well that argue it away, right? Yeah. So, anyways, so he goes back, they the prosecutor, you know, has a bone to pick, and so he goes back, or she, whatever he she goes back and um prosecutes him again, and he is now convicted. Is there like a double jeopardy?
SPEAKER_00I was getting ready to ask the same question for for is it for criminal to like can't be tried for the same case. But he it was a hung jury.
SPEAKER_02Oh, so that doesn't that no yeah, it's only guilty. If you're not if you're acquitted. Right. Yeah, if you're found, if you're acquitted, then that's when jeopardy attaches. Oh yeah, but in this situation when it's a hung jury and they can't decide, then you can then the prosecutor has the option to go back and try try it again if they want to. Yeah. And they and then it's it's a it's a um, I think it's a political calculation as well, because like it's it costs the city or the state, county whatever money to prosecute, and they have to decide like is this the level of crime that we want to spend money on? And I think with Irvine, like Irvine is gonna pursue it. I mean, it was I think it's Santa Ana based court, okay, but still, I mean like our challenge.
SPEAKER_06Especially if someone's licensed to practice law is on the line and like you really have that feeling that they fucking did something fucked up.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. No, I I think when it's like uh an attorney, when it's a doctor, when it's a police officer, when it's a fireman, like when it's somebody that you're supposed to like trust. Right, like you have an oath. If you take an oath, like yeah, I think those entities are gonna take it a little more seriously. For sure. Yeah. So um, so he's then convicted, and I believe she pled guilty, and he was convicted of I believe these are the like conspiracy and false imprisonment. And I guess the that the confusing part for me is I guess the false imprisonment is because of the drugs. So yeah, I don't I know. I don't I don't I qu I don't I don't understand that. So again, do your own research. LA Times did a beautiful six part series on this. And they have um and Wondery did a podcast on this. Six part episode that goes deep dives into everything. And and it's a wonderful uh program. So I would definitely if this is of interest to you, uh I would read the LA Times article and or watch the or listen to the Wonder podcast because it was it was very good. Um I listened to it a few years ago and I was so surprised. Like this is such a surprising case.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, that that's it's been a fucking roller coaster so far.
SPEAKER_02Right. So then then they go to the civil aspect. Now remember, I told you a few episodes ago, if you'll remember, what do what do they normally do? They pursue you criminally first, and then civilly. And then civilly.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. But oh actually, no, uh I take that back. No, I it's usually reverse. I think it's usually civilly, and then it's criminally because then you don't have money to persu like to represent yourself.
SPEAKER_06This was a rem, I think that's diabolical boy.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, oh my god. Sorry, Flash.
SPEAKER_06That's savvy.
SPEAKER_02Sorry. I yeah, I think a lot of times they will pursue they'll let the civil go and then they do the this is the opposite. They did the criminal first and then they did the civil. So in the criminal case, he had Kent had an attorney representing him, right? Um in the civil case, he decided to represent himself. Yeah. So and apparently, uh one of the things I thought was most interesting about the civil aspect of the case, apparently he wore the same sweater every day to court. And uh the Kelly, so Kelly was pursuing him in civil court. Her attorney was like, Don't let this guy fool you. He has suits that are worth a thousand dollars each in his closet. Right. And now he's wearing a sweater because he's trying to claim poverty. Because, like, oh, we don't have any money because you know, of the criminal case. And he did some other trickery where he um, I guess their Irvine home, they did like a transfer into a trust where then Jill's yeah, Jill's father was the trust the executor of the state. So now and I I my understanding is the civil attorneys were able to claw that out because it was done for improper reasons.
SPEAKER_06Good.
SPEAKER_02So um the civil case, I believe, was awarded in the amount of 5.7 million dollars.
SPEAKER_06Oh my god, I need somebody to plant drugs in my cart.
SPEAKER_02But remember, you have to just because you have a judgment doesn't mean you're gonna collect on that.
SPEAKER_06So I guess that's a good point. Yeah. So I mean he was a pretty high-class attorney, so he probably had the bread, right?
SPEAKER_02I mean, assuming, assuming that they saved their money, assuming that um, you know, I mean, they had a house. They had a nice house.
SPEAKER_06At the very least, you have a nice house now.
SPEAKER_02Right, but the house I don't think was worth 5.7. And she wasn't working, and even though he had a six-figure income, like they had two or three kids. Yeah. So, I mean, I don't know that they have 5.7 just hanging out. They probably had some a million plus.
SPEAKER_06Right, you at least got a chunk out. Right, right.
SPEAKER_02So, my understanding is Kelly had said that she was at least able to pay her attorneys. So the attorneys that represented her in the which I mean, I don't necessarily think that she was doing it for the money, she was doing it for the punitive damages to teach her. Yeah, absolutely. Right, right, right. So, um, so there's that both of them were disbarred. Oh, yeah. My understanding allegedly. But I my understanding is they're both disbarred um from moral turpitude. Oh, yeah. But I think that Kelly, I'm sorry, I think that Jill is still doing uh writing books. Oh, no way.
SPEAKER_06Is she still locked up? How much time did you save?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, oh yeah, good question. I think she got 120 days. Oh, he got 180 days, is my understanding. Yeah, and I think I don't I think they might have only done half each.
SPEAKER_06I did both of that together before I was even convicted. That's crazy.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. I know it is a little bit surprising that they didn't get a little bit more, yeah. But uh maybe because it was a first-time offense and they had attorneys.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, but that could have destroyed her life though. I would have been pissed if that was all the time they had.
SPEAKER_02Honestly, like if it wasn't Irvine and it was, let's say, Costa Mesa, Santa Ana, maybe uh Long Beach, you know, I'm just I'm just throwing out other cities, like maybe those those police would have been more um you know, unavailable to do the investigation. I guess that's a good point. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00I feel like this uh yeah, they definitely would not have if this was like LA or something, they would have been like Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02And and the and the lady Kelly, she didn't have like a background of having any prior convictions or any like known drug use. Um, so I think that possibly helped her a little bit. She's a middle-aged white lady too. That probably didn't hurt. So I mean it was kind of a swirl of a lot of different things going on, but yeah, I definitely think it could have, you know, and and I guess she was like wrecked after too, because really the first when it first happened and she was saying that your kid is slow. I guess Jill, I'm I'm assuming she had some Botox and and whatnot. They because the report was like she was smiling, but like didn't move her face, and she's like, I can't, how do you sleep at night?
SPEAKER_00He's like, Oh mad, you think my kid's slow?
SPEAKER_03You think my kid's slow?
SPEAKER_00Dang, for one comment.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, or like, how do you sleep at night treating people this way? Here's my question.
SPEAKER_05You do that a little well. I just want to throw that out there.
SPEAKER_02Here's my question, though. This is no one has I I haven't seen this angle, okay? How do you think the six-year-old feels? Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_05What about the kids? That's the thing. I didn't consider that. That's a good question. What did they do with the kid?
SPEAKER_02Well, probably the grandparents or well, no, the I mean, they probably the mom serves first, then the dad serves.
SPEAKER_00So they Well, they didn't even know.
SPEAKER_02No, the kids aren't going to foster care, and the parent and then their parents are involved, and the grandparents, whatever. I can respect that. But my point is like, if you're the six-year-old that was upset and then made mom go nuts, yeah, start this whole process, and dad, both parents are now disparred because you were upset because you didn't line up. Like, do you think the six-year-old has any kind of like six-year-old was like, here, mom, I got these percocets.
SPEAKER_06That didn't call me slow.
SPEAKER_00The kid's too slow to know what happened. I'm sorry. Joke.
SPEAKER_02But the kid, the kid is probably like the kid is probably like close to like 18, 19, 40, I think now. So I'm like, do you think there's ever do you think the parents are like Yeah, they must have to like sit down and ex- But I think the kid shouldn't feel guilty. Like, hey, little Timmy, remember when you got all upset? That's why daddy doesn't have a job anymore.
SPEAKER_05I feel like the kid, because she didn't say the kid was slow, right? She said he was slow to line up.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. But the mom heard slow.
SPEAKER_06Right, that's what I'm saying. So like I I don't know, I guess.
SPEAKER_02So then that's where I also go with this. I'm like, okay, first of all, if I was a sister, I'm like, oh, damn, like you know, but I also feel like this is probably going to happen at some point.
SPEAKER_00This is the case where it's like, it's not your fault your parents divorced. Well, it is. It is your fault. It kind of is. They they did get divorced.
SPEAKER_05Between me and the fireman, we're guilty.
SPEAKER_02But I I think, like, I if I'm if I'm the six-year-old, I probably don't have too much guilt about it because it's like, I think it was gonna happen no matter what. Like something would have set her off. Something was gonna set her off. Whether it was the lady at Nordstrom said, You're a size 10, and she's like, I'm a size six. You know what I mean? Yeah, it was only a matter of time. It's a matter of time, I think, before something was gonna happen. It was for sure only a matter of time. Because again, my first thought was like, oh my gosh, if I'm the kid that was a six-year-old, like, am I feeling a little bit bad? But then I think I would, after a lot of therapy, yeah, I think that I would uh figure out that it's probably mom, mom had some some issues. Some issues. Yeah, yeah. So that's a wild case. Yeah, that's a good one. Yes, pretty crazy.
SPEAKER_06I think that's my favorite one out of what have we done? 20 now, 21? Yeah, something like that.
SPEAKER_02And this is not a financial crime, yeah.
SPEAKER_06That's the part that you know what's funny is I was trying to think of a non-financial crime for today. I didn't come up with one, but uh, that's what I was trying to think.
SPEAKER_00But it's a thought that counts.
SPEAKER_06It is exactly you know what I mean? It is, it's exactly what counts. And I don't have a lot of those, so it counts a lot. It's even more special.
SPEAKER_02Per thought, it's a it's a higher value. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, because you don't you don't waste it on a lot of thoughts.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so yeah, that's it. That's what I got. Crazy. That's fucking crazy. Yeah, and yeah, and I don't I don't think there's much else, but I'm sure I'm sure I forgot a couple things. I guess one of the things was like um she's Jill sent her husband an email being like, it's time to get serious, and then to start this off. And the the LA Times writer counted how many exclamation marks she had after.
SPEAKER_06Ooh, how many was it?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, 68. Oh my god!
SPEAKER_06What the fuck? That's serial killer behavior. That bitch got a body in her freezer. They need to check her out immediately. This wasn't her first 68?
SPEAKER_00Yes. One for each crime she's committed before.
SPEAKER_05One for each body.
SPEAKER_02I mean, if you want to math, make the math math, it's uh each exclamation mark was two days in prison.
SPEAKER_00Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02I mean, kinda that's where the judge looked at, like, oh, you like 68?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, man.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so but then again, what I wonder what the communication was like outside of this situation, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_06Like that's between like the husband and the wife. Oh man, I I would love to have been a fly on the wall for those conversations, dude.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Do you think they practice the Indian accent?
SPEAKER_06Yes, dude, they absolutely had to.
SPEAKER_03Now try it with an Indian accent.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, tell them your name is Rajesh.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Do it again. One more time.
SPEAKER_06You're doing a great Erica Kirk impression.
SPEAKER_04Yo, yeah, that is a great Erica Kirk.
SPEAKER_02No, Erica Kirk's more like, do it again. Do it again. Do it again.
SPEAKER_06That bitch got bodies in her freezer too, and you can't convince me otherwise. Yeah. That whole situation is That's crazy.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I don't know. It's yeah. But I love a good conspiracy. I love conspiracy.
SPEAKER_06Me too.
SPEAKER_02I do too. It was funny. I I met when I was at Floppers one time in the in a back room, uh, the green room or whatever, the the one of the uh one of the other comedians, and I'm like, oh, like, you know, like, oh, what's your day job? And he gets like, oh, I used to teach uh conspiracies and stories or something like that. Like at like Virginia Tech or uh no at at Old Dominion, Old Dominion in Virginia.
SPEAKER_06That's where my brother got his master's.
SPEAKER_02Okay, yeah. And so, but it was like conspiracies in something, you know. So I'm like, oh, I'm like, what's your favorite? Well, no, I go, I go, so the moon landing. Like it didn't happen, right? And he's like, what? No, it happened. And I'm like, oh, and then I was like, I didn't know what side he was like teaching.
SPEAKER_06So it's like at this point, I feel like the conspiracy is that it did happen. We all know it didn't. I don't think it happened.
SPEAKER_00Do you think it happened? I think it happened. Did you really here's my question in Hollywood studios?
SPEAKER_06It happened in LA. For sure.
SPEAKER_02I know. No, I'm like, okay, because my and my dad was like, no, no, no, it happened. I'm like, okay, if it happened in 65 or whatever, why haven't we been back? That's like my number one question. Like, you're telling me it's okay. We had technology back then that we don't have now. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00They say like it's the aliens told them not to come back. I like to believe that. Sometimes, like, oh yeah, what do they see?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I've never heard that. I could subscribe to that theory.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but that one I'm like, that's overplayed, like whether it happened or not. I like the one of my favorites. I don't know, it's too crazy. Justin Trudeau is Fidel Castro's son. Yes, I've heard that.
SPEAKER_06No.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. His uh parents used to go to Cuba a lot, or is not parents, his mom. And then if you look up pictures of Fidel Castro and Justin Trudeau, they look a lot alike. But without the beard, Justin Trudeau doesn't have the beard. And then Katy Perry is Jean Bonet. I heard that. I've heard that one.
SPEAKER_06And I you know what? I buy that one.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah. That one's a good one.
SPEAKER_06Have you heard the one about the guy in Florida who looks just like Jeffrey Epstein?
SPEAKER_00Yes, yes.
SPEAKER_06Bro. Yeah, that's him. That's him. I thought he was in Europe.
SPEAKER_00I didn't know he was in Florida.
SPEAKER_06No, he's in Florida.
SPEAKER_00Oh. Yeah, he's a Florida guy. He's like, I'm just driving my convertible or whatever.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I'm just me.
SPEAKER_00I'm Palm Beach Pete.
SPEAKER_06Have you heard the theory that he was a fucking uh Mossad?
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. No doubt. No doubt about that.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, 100%.
SPEAKER_02Well, that's what they say who killed Charlie Kirk was the Mossad. It was Epstein?
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_02No. Start that one. I guess he had.
SPEAKER_06I'm using that as a clip.
SPEAKER_02I guess because he had been starting to like start to like withdraw his support for Israel. And so once he was doing that, then Israel was like, we're gonna take you out. I don't know.
SPEAKER_00I feel like at that point, like, I'm sorry, but I don't think Charlie Kirk is that special enough for Israel to be like.
SPEAKER_02If you're the if you're the defendant, like how come you're not saying the Mossad made me do it? Yeah. I mean, you're gonna go to jail for the rest of your life. Like, I don't know.
SPEAKER_06Because he's getting paid.
SPEAKER_02Is he? I think he would be able to track the money.
SPEAKER_06How?
SPEAKER_02Well, you would see in his bank account, like he's made extra.
SPEAKER_06He'd be able to track it if the government wasn't giving it to him. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Well, but it'd be the Mossad that would be giving it to him. Not our government. You think our government's giving him money?
SPEAKER_06I think this is this is my uh theory on the whole thing. The problem was that he, Charlie Kirk, was starting to question our relationship with Israel, shit that was going on in our government that they don't want them to question. I think the US killed him. Oh really? Yeah. I think they took them out.
SPEAKER_02All I know is I don't know enough. Like honestly. It's there's there's so many things that are tangled together that it's like it's impossible. For me, it's like my head gets like, what? Like, there's so many rabbit holes to go down. Well, there's this and then there's that, but then there's that, and then there's this, but then there's this.
SPEAKER_06Everything's like my problem is I have a big ass shovel. I'd be going down them holes.
SPEAKER_02Oh, really?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, oh yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_00I mean there is a genocide going on, but that'll get too political. But I don't know. The whole Israel, US It's all it's crazy. I just know that they have free health care because of our taxes. That's we can literally cut that. I don't know.
SPEAKER_06I don't I don't want to go on a tangent.
SPEAKER_02I literally have no idea. I've never been, don't know anything about it. Not that I like, I mean, I'm aware of all the things that are being said and all of that, but I just I honestly it's just I feel like it's hard to trust any news organization because I feel like every news organization has its angle and they're being funded by agenda, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Even our senators and our congressmen are all being funded by different whatever, and so it's just but if you looked into the files, like some of the emails I looked up were like the undergrad of the law school I went to, the president was like emailing with Epstein. What? He's like, because about like he was getting some of the school of the school, but he's gone now. He's like the undergrad, he was like it was a quite kind of a quick transition, but then um I saw that Epstein, someone emailed Epstein being like, oh, president whatever, like accepted the gift, like the West Coast schools are more likely to support us. I was like, what? This dude was like, but it's everywhere, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02Like you wouldn't know if those emails didn't come out, but then that guy left and but I also love that um the congresswoman from Texas, uh Jasmine Crockett, she was like, so-and-so is getting money from Jeffrey Epstein. And it's like, yeah, from Dr. Jeffrey Epstein. He's not any relation to it's like, wow, it's weird that there's more than one Jeffrey Epstein.
SPEAKER_06Imagine being a guy named Jeffrey Epstein.
SPEAKER_02That's gotta be wild.
SPEAKER_00There is a comic with the lap last name Epstein. Yeah, I'm sure. But then he was like, it's Epstein. Like, it's spelled Epstein, you're not just change it.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, we know what the fuck it says.
SPEAKER_02All right, well, before we leave, Tonio, what are your what I know you have a quick one for us.
SPEAKER_06Oh no, I don't I don't even want to. That was enough.
SPEAKER_02Really?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, that was good. Okay, that was fucking great. I'll save it for another day. Okay. I don't even want to taint it.
SPEAKER_02Call back. I want to know how many times you use taint team this week.
SPEAKER_06So I'll I'll give you a count. I'll just text you every time I say it too.
SPEAKER_02Um, so before we close out here, do you have any shows coming up?
SPEAKER_00Um yeah, I have a few shows. I have like uh Noble Ale's doing like that festival type of thing at the end of the month. Noble nights. Noble nights, that's what's called. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really cool. That one's really fun.
SPEAKER_06I've done it twice. It's it's it was great both times.
SPEAKER_02Is that the one where they offer like tattooing? And yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_06That's where I got this. Is it on this side?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's on this side.
SPEAKER_06Hello Kitty.
SPEAKER_00Hello Kitty, not Kirby, my bad. My bad. Maybe she knew it was not Kirby talking.
SPEAKER_02I know it's Hello Kitty, I forgot the name. Kirby Kitty. To be fair, Hello Kitty was invented when I was a child. So yeah.
SPEAKER_06Fair enough.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. Well, that's that's a good tattoo.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, it's all right. And I tell you what, it didn't hurt at all. Really? Wow. I expected it to hurt a little. I and I know people say this, but I'll be the first one to tell you like a fucking tattoo hurt. Like the one on the back of this leg almost made me pass out twice.
SPEAKER_00But then I feel like the neck would have hurt, but the fucking. I fell asleep. Oh my god. I heard people that happens of like they fall asleep with tattoos. I'm like, oh my god, how can you do that? There's video footage.
SPEAKER_06I was like this on a fucking tattoo chair, snoring. Yeah, knock the fuck out.
SPEAKER_02And that's probably when I was trying to text you, and then you didn't probably went and did my set.
SPEAKER_06Wow. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02With like the plastic on it and everything.
SPEAKER_06Uh no, I don't even think we put plastic on it. Really? Yeah. Wow. But I mean, like, I got these in prison and then like.
SPEAKER_00You got those in prison? Yeah. They're so like detailed.
SPEAKER_06Prison colored?
SPEAKER_00Well, I don't print no, like they're detailed.
SPEAKER_06I thought it was like uh this is a yeah, it's a very distinct shade of gray though. Like you can see. Oh, that's you know it's prison. Yeah, you can tell that it's pencil shavings and shampoos.
SPEAKER_00And shampoo?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, baby shampoo.
SPEAKER_04What?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, baby shampoo. Baby shampoo. Yeah, or we would also use soot. So we would take like a jar of hair grease, roll up some toilet paper, stick it in there like a wick, set it on fire, and then put like a paper cone over top of it and fucking collect the soot, scrape that, mix it with some fucking rubbing alcohol, bam, tattooing.
SPEAKER_00See, it's like there's so many like engineers in prison, you know? Like, how you guys do that? I don't know.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, some of the smartest stupid people I ever met in my life. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Supply yourself, you know. Well, you have a lot of time on your hands, and you I guess that's a good point. Yeah. Okay, so and then you have noble nights and then.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah, sorry. I was looking at I don't know off the top of my head. Oh, uh there's a no question show on the 26th, that's in Riverside. Um, doing a show in San Diego on the 30th. Shoot. Yeah, and that's trying to You're fucking hilarious though.
SPEAKER_06You deserve it. Thanks. I appreciate it. You deserve every minute of stage time.
SPEAKER_02And you're popping up everywhere, you're busy.
SPEAKER_00Thanks. Thanks. Trying to stay busy, you know. I love it. This is fun. I love what I do, so hoping to just keep doing it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06You have a feature in it. You're fucking hilarious. Thanks. I appreciate it.
SPEAKER_00For sure, for sure. Thank you guys for having me. This is like so busy. This has been great.
SPEAKER_02This is so fun. We have uh game craft coming up, but this will air after that. And then I think I found out that you and I are doing road dogs together. Oh, and we're gonna be able to do that. Maybe on the 12th of next month, right? Yeah, next month. August 14th? No, August 12th. Yeah, and August 14th I'm supposed to be at Floppers. Oh, nice. I know, like I'm like back to back almost. Yeah, I have a Thursday, but they're both pasting and Burbank, so that's a drive for you because you're like even further south. I know, I know. And then I I know I've got a show coming up in San Pedro as well. So nice. I don't remember the date off the top of my head, but Oh, is it Pedro?
SPEAKER_00I kept calling it San Pedro, my bad. Pedro. San Pedro Pedro, I got a lot of hate comments on that, and I was like, oh. What did you call it? San Pedro. Pedro. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02I said Pedro.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but some people said it's Pedro, Pedro, I don't know.
SPEAKER_06I don't know.
SPEAKER_00But that is it at the I have to double check, I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_02But yeah, I just got asked to do it. Yeah, so yeah.
SPEAKER_06I'm booked on those two and then August 28th with Dennis Vargas.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Oh nice. I like him. I love Discord. He's up on good shows, yeah. Yeah, he's great.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, and he's fucking hilarious. Yeah, yeah. We've had him up.
SPEAKER_02Oh nice, yeah. It's funny. I have a friend that's like came to one of my shows and saw Dennis, and she's like, Remember the guy who has the Chiro joke, and then he has a Chola joke. Do you remember that guy? He's so funny. I still think of it. I'm like, oh my god, relax, lady. Like, okay, fangirl. That's funny. Glad to give you laughs. Anyways. Well, thanks again for coming on. I'll w box sometime soon. Absolutely. Thank you again. See you guys next time. Like and subscribe.
SPEAKER_05Peace.
SPEAKER_02Thank you.
unknownCool.