No One Gets Hurt
JJ Jorgenson is a lawyer. Tonio is a felon. Together they talk about crimes, scams, schemes, comedy and more!
No One Gets Hurt
Guys Gone Weird
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On this week's episode JJ & Tonio welcome special guest, Mikey Barajas!
We dive into the financial crimes of Joseph Francis, and a bank robbery involving a cat?!?!
The mood is light, the jokes are heavy, but Joseph's charges are heavier.
As always, we also discuss past and upcoming comedy adventures and let the conversation flow in whichever direction it might.
You never know what will be said! We have fun here
My only question was like, did y'all need that many bottles of baby oil? Alright, listen up and no one gets hurt.
SPEAKER_04This is a podcast that focuses on crimes and scams where no one physically gets harmed. This is a podcast for information and nothing in this podcast can be taken as legal advice.
SPEAKER_00So listen up and no one gets hurt. New York's got that. Alright, well, don't forget to like and subscribe and in the comments, tell us what to do if you'd like to cover it.
SPEAKER_04Welcome back to another episode of No One Gets Heard Podcast. Today we have with us a guest that if you're in the Orange County scene, you know him, you've seen him, you love him. Mikey Barajas.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. That's my thing now. Everyone knows me for saying you.
SPEAKER_04Oh, that's right. Yes.
SPEAKER_03I remember where that came from. That just, you know, that's like my battle cry. I love it.
SPEAKER_00Fucking vocal stim that turned out to be very good for your fucking comedy.
SPEAKER_03People at my uh at my day job, they'd be yelling at me, you. Like in the mode, you know, just working and they, you know.
SPEAKER_04I love it. You have a catchphrase. It's that's man.
SPEAKER_00Usually when somebody yells at me, it's like, fuck you.
SPEAKER_04You are allowed to cuss on this podcast, it turns out.
SPEAKER_00So no one gets hurt. It doesn't say no one uses profanity.
SPEAKER_04Uh what is your handle?
SPEAKER_03Uh my Instagram handle is uh Mr. Mikey Baraja. So M-R, then Mikey, then Barajas, B-A-R-A-J-A-S.
SPEAKER_04And then what other podcasts are you affiliated with?
SPEAKER_03Uh I have my own podcast. Uh it's called Cool Mike Podcast. It's on YouTube and Spotify.
SPEAKER_04Yes.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's very cool. I'm proud of it. I produce it uh with one of my best buds, uh, Gil Chris. Gil Chris was on the podcast too. Yeah, we love that guy.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, he's uh we've actually been to your studio. We've seen where the magic happens.
SPEAKER_03No, yeah, it's cool. Like it's uh I don't know. I I feel blessed uh work with Gil. It's like some Mr. B shit.
SPEAKER_00My only question was like, did y'all need that many bottles of baby oil? It gets a little freaky down there. It smells like it gets freaky down there.
SPEAKER_02No, it doesn't.
SPEAKER_00It smells fucked.
SPEAKER_03I'm just fucking around. My last guess is like, I don't know if you know Giselle, but she's like, You taking me at six dungeon? I was like, No, that's cool.
SPEAKER_04You had a you had a someone else with Giselle, right?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it was the homie uh Derek Feeman. Okay, yeah, another really hilarious comedian out of out of Orange County. If you guys don't know Derek Feeman, look him up. He's he's a crazy guy.
SPEAKER_04I love it.
SPEAKER_03He's like low-key killer. Like if you see him on the street, you wouldn't think he's you know, like that wild, but he's really wild.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. And then for the audience members here, what is your podcast about? Like, what do you what is your focus?
SPEAKER_03Uh I don't know. I just wanted to like highlight stuff that I think is cool, you know, like something really positive. Like, I don't really talk negatively on my show. I just want to bring on homies and people that I feel that I wanna, you know, like give shout outs to. And I just don't want to be in a box, you know. So the show's growing. I got like guests coming on that I'm really proud of that's not in the comedy scene. I got some porn stars coming on, I got some like people in the film industry, I got some musicians. I'm trying to do like I was inspired by Attack of the Show. I don't know if you ever seen Attack of the Show. It came it was on like uh G4 back in the day. It was basically like a pre-podcast type of show. Olivia, that's where Olivia Munn came from.
SPEAKER_02Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, they had a lot of viral stuff, you know. It was basically like they would just show viral clips and they went to like the AVN awards and you know, Comic-Con. And I want to do something similar like that, where it's just like just you know, just highlight stuff I'm into.
SPEAKER_04That's cool. So you just kind of like just uh you jam on like whatever it is that you're interested in that week or whatever. Yeah, whatever I'm vibing on, like a little jam band situation.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's cool, it's fun. And then my show uh originally I started it back in like when I was like 14 years old. Uh Cool Mike originated when I was a DJ. I was like Oh my gosh. Yeah, I used to scratch, and then I had like a show uh called DJ Cool Mike. Did you have to stand on a uh step stool? I had a little one, bro. It was you know a little step stool.
SPEAKER_04You also run a comedy show too, right?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I run uh yeah, I produce uh the Red Room comedy. Yes, yeah, that one it's pre-cracking.
SPEAKER_04That's awesome.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and how often for sure.
SPEAKER_04How often is that?
SPEAKER_03Uh once a month or sometimes two times a month, just depending on you know, availabilities on who I could book.
SPEAKER_04And where where is it?
SPEAKER_03Uh right now I'm currently doing it in uh Anaheim at uh Honey River Brewery. Okay, it's a real cool spot, real cool room, seats about like 70. Kind of reminds me of like the belly room where it's just like really very intimate. You know, it's just it's cool room for comedy.
SPEAKER_04That's right. That's awesome.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Um, so you hit on a couple things which makes me like happy that I picked what I picked today. So you talked about uh you talked about porn, right? Yeah. And you talked about uh video memes that went viral, right? Yeah. So uh this individual, that's how this individual got started was viral memes that got uh I believe his inspiration was based on videos that were circulating before like the internet was like really a big thing, and um like direct to consumer kind of an idea of like sending people like funny videos uh that were viral moments, I guess. That was part of the inspiration for Joe Francis.
SPEAKER_03Girls gone wild? Yes, it was a deep cut.
SPEAKER_04Yes, I mean you without hesitation.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that was a matter of fact. How old are you? I'm uh born in 1990. So I I I grew up I'm like, I'm pretty weird when it comes to certain like I don't know, like I grew up watching uh, I wouldn't say watching Girls Gone Wild, but one of my first earliest pervy moments was me and my cousin went to the video store and uh we we had my aunt rent us a girls gone wild. We were like, my cousin was like 12, I was like 10. We like I wouldn't say tricked her, but we put the the the movie in between another couple movies.
SPEAKER_00I'm gonna say, like, that's gotta be like child abuse or something.
SPEAKER_03She didn't know, she didn't know. If she knew, but yeah, she honestly, she's uh oh, she was an older Mexican woman, you know, she's like, guess that song. We're like, just pay for it. We did the Jedi mind trick on her.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that's not one of my proudest moments, but you you probably got one of the first videos then. If you were 10 when it because that was probably about when it came out, it probably came out in like 2000, I think.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it came out when I was young, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember, I remember it.
SPEAKER_03I remember too.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, the commercials were intense, and they're it felt like they were 20-minute commercials, like yeah, that changed me. Uh shit.
SPEAKER_00At like two, three o'clock in the morning, they had whole hour-long infomercials.
SPEAKER_04And then, so was that your gateway drug?
SPEAKER_03Um maybe a little bit. I don't know. Uh girls going, well, yeah, that because it was on that night, you know. Yeah. I used to watch du uh divas like on uh wrestling, so that's how I got my my kinks, you know, or watching, you know, high flying hurricanas and you know, I don't know.
SPEAKER_00Hell yeah, suplex me, baby.
SPEAKER_03That's how I got into you know my you know, China, you know, she was very buff, you know. I like bodybuilder chicks because of her China would swallow you with her vagina.
SPEAKER_04This is where I go, I don't know. We're talking about wrestling.
SPEAKER_00It's like I dude, she's fucking huge.
SPEAKER_04I know, I know who China remember from China. I remember China, yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember China, I remember the Bella twins. I don't really, I don't really remember. I mean, Hulk and obviously, and Joe Francis was a sleaze ball, I heard though. I heard a lot of stuff came out about well, we're not gonna talk about the sli like the super sleazy stuff because he has some pretty bad convictions.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that's what I was saying. I don't support him now, you know. Like I don't want you to do it. Right. Yeah, I'm not like a you know, Joe's not my homie.
SPEAKER_04Well, you might have participated in some of his bad acts because allegedly some of the girls that were videotaped may or may not have not, you know, may or may not have been of age.
SPEAKER_03Hi Karama.
SPEAKER_04I was 10.
SPEAKER_00I was 10 years old. I was not of age.
SPEAKER_04Add it to the list of charges.
SPEAKER_03I mean I was 10.
SPEAKER_04No, so yeah, so he he has a couple things going on that I thought would be interesting for today. So one of the things was kind of boring, but um, so he was charged uh in Reno, but it the the court got venue changed to California. Um, but uh that he under-reported taxes. So the feds were saying rule number one. Feds were saying that he under-reported taxes to the tune of twenty million dollars. Yeah, it later becomes that that the government acknowledges that he actually under-reported it by five hundred and sixty-three thousand dollars. Quite a bit of a difference.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Uh and I didn't realize they made that much money off of that shit.
SPEAKER_04Oh, yeah. Think about it. I mean, uh he was coming out with different uh you know videos because it was like it would be Cancun, it'd be Hawaii, whatever, Florida. Um he then did like a bunch of merch too. Yeah, merch.
SPEAKER_00I didn't even consider that. Yeah, you would see GGW shirts everywhere.
SPEAKER_04I feel like he then merged into like interview series like in the bus, which also seemed very creepy. Um, but like he I like going and then also I'm sure there was like appearances, you know, they would yeah, they were probably paying him for public appearances back in the day.
SPEAKER_03Right. That's a good point.
SPEAKER_04Right, right, right.
SPEAKER_03Um, so sponsorships and stuff too.
SPEAKER_04For sure, for sure. Uh, and this was he was like one of the proprietors of this type. I mean, it wasn't necessarily Playboy, because I was the proprietor of like magazines, right? But it was not it was softcore porn, so it's not hardcore, but it was just like that gray area, right?
SPEAKER_00It was like the limbo was like, whoa, where you could still put it on HBO, right?
SPEAKER_04It and it could still be on channel 11 at 2 a.m. as a commercial, yeah.
SPEAKER_03So you get away with a lot of stuff back in the day. Oh, for sure, for sure. Yeah, the Carlos Jr. commercials gave me a sexual awakening as a kid. The what? Carlos Jr. commercials? You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00I don't know. I grew up in Virginia, Carls Jr. Carls Jr. on the East Coast, it's called Hardy's Hardees.
SPEAKER_03They used to have some like baddies, you know, washing cars and eating famous stars.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, it would be That's fire. Jenny McCarthy, I think, Carmen Aktra.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it was wild, bro.
SPEAKER_04Paris Hilton.
SPEAKER_00Sex sells, dude.
SPEAKER_04Kim Kardashian. Can't think of I'm sure there's a few others that are high high level, but yeah, it was it used to be like a thing to try to be the Carl's Jr. like girl for these commercials. Yeah, they were they were out of control. That was early 2000s so far, yeah. But anyways, um so yeah, so instead of going to trial, and this is around 2007, instead of going to trial, um he on felony charges he entered a plea agreement and he had two misdemeanor accounts for filing false tax returns and one count of bribing jail workers. Bribed um yeah, for um exchange for food and other favors. Other favors is not clarified, so I don't know.
SPEAKER_00But we know we know.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, and then his sentence was uh 301 days in jail, which was already served. Uh he had to pay $250,000 in restitution.
SPEAKER_00And now that's just for the monetary crimes.
SPEAKER_04Well, that's for underreporting his taxes. Right.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so it's specifically for the taxes, the 301 days.
SPEAKER_04That is that's my understanding. Yeah, he has multiple.
SPEAKER_00That's what I'm saying. We we had said that he had more serious charges. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Uh I don't think that these overlapped. These these are first in time.
SPEAKER_00So those were a different sentence altogether.
SPEAKER_04I'm not familiar. I didn't I I only saw what they were. I didn't get into it. You can look it up for yourself. It's not good. But um, yeah.
SPEAKER_03He's no bueno.
SPEAKER_04He's no good.
SPEAKER_03He's a bad hombre.
SPEAKER_04And he lives in Mexico.
SPEAKER_00I'm learning all of this. That's perfect.
SPEAKER_04So you used his uh native language now.
SPEAKER_03He's no good, that guy.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, and then he had a year of supervised uh he was on supervised release. So that was that was his 2007. Now what's interesting about that I found is that um right after the interdisciplinary agreement, the IRS went in and um wanted to get back taxes. So so there's two different things going on underreporting taxes and not paying taxes. So he underre reported and then didn't pay. And then I allegedly didn't pay. Um so they froze his assets. They did a thing called jeopardy assessment. So basically they were able to go in immediately and freeze his assets. And this is a special thing I didn't know about. I had to look it up. Um basically it's when the IRS believes it's the only way to preserve assets for satisfaction of tax obligations. So they're afraid that the person is gonna leave the country or deplete their funds before there's an adjudication on the issue. Immediately froze it, yeah. So um they filed a lien for $33.8 million for three years of back taxes. God damn.
SPEAKER_03That's crazy.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. But then it's crazy here, as it always does. He then starts to do this thing which I call the blame game. So he says that his CPA stole millions of dollars from the company, then contacted the IRS as a part of a whistleblowing plot. Because I guess if you whistleblow and it's found that whatever they were doing was wrong, you also get a uh an award or a reward rather, a reward from the IRS for turning people in. So so he allegedly stole money and then basically turned Joe in so that way he wouldn't have to like pay his money back allegedly. All alleged, none of this is proved. There's no convictions of this. Uh, I don't even want to say the CPA's name, but yeah, so yeah. Um, so all I could find on this issue was that the government witness, uh, a key government witness had withheld information from prosecutors. So it seems like there might be some truth to it, but not complete truth. But basically he's saying, like, my accountants did my books, I shouldn't be responsible because I hired them. But then you're in charge ultimately, and you're the one that said. Yeah, it's your money. Right, yeah. Right. So um one of the things also I found interesting is that during a court-ordered uh mediation session, apparently uh well let me back up. When you went to court, Tonyo, did you how would you dress for court? Did you dress like nice or oh I was in jail jumpsuit? Oh, okay. So you didn't even you bypassed that situation.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I didn't have a that was it. When I went into the courtroom, I was in a fucking Chesapeake City jail fucking blue jumpsuit. Okay.
SPEAKER_04Well, Mikey, assuming I'm assuming you haven't I got a DUI before.
SPEAKER_00Mikey's definitely been to court at least once.
SPEAKER_04You don't you don't need to confess any, you don't even have to confess here. But okay, so when you went to court, were you wearing a suit? What did you wear?
SPEAKER_03I looked like I was ready for my bar mitzvah, you know. I was all ready to go. You had a yamaka too? No, I don't know.
SPEAKER_04But you had a suit on, right? That seems fresh. Right. You want to look you want to look presentable, you want to look professional, you want to look like you're taking it seriously, right? So apparently, allegedly, from one of the reports I read, um at one of the court mandated mediations, he showed up four hours late. I can wearing sweatshorts and uh a baseball hat backwards, barefoot. And then at one point barefoot?
SPEAKER_03Is he mogly? Yeah, what the fuck?
SPEAKER_00Jungle book the people versus Tarzan. What the fuck?
SPEAKER_04And then apparently he put his dirty feet on the mediation table. So this guy didn't care. He was like, I'm just that Caucasian bold.
SPEAKER_03Damn. Yeah, right. That's that Caucasian work.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. So that was his introduction into the world of the court system. But then a couple years later, he gets himself into trouble. Now, this is not a criminal case. This is not a fraud, this is not a scam. I just thought it was very interesting because it is a legal matter. Okay. Uh, do you know who Steve Wynne is?
SPEAKER_03His name sounds familiar. I don't know him like uh isn't he with Wynne hotels?
SPEAKER_04That's right. So he owns, he's like basically owner operator of Wynn Hotel, uh the Entrage Hotel. Uh I think there's a couple other ones that he's uh sleaze bag too.
SPEAKER_03Allegedly.
SPEAKER_04Allegedly, yeah. Allegedly, that is correct. That's my understanding. Um so anyway, so he runs a casino. And apparently Joe liked to gamble. And apparently he ran up a debt with markers up to two million dollars. Now I didn't know exactly what a marker was. Do you know what a marker is? So it's a term that you've I've heard before, like in casino, whatever. So it's basically a short-term loan with no interest. So that way you're enticing your uh patrons to gamble, right? Like you people that you know are quote unquote good for it, right? So that way they don't have to run to the ATM and give you cash. They can buy the money later, right? So like afterpay. Exactly. Right. So he apparently runs up a two million dollar tab and then Wynne takes him to uh debt collection court, whatever that is, to try to collect the money. And during these proceedings, uh Joe Francis says uh that he has been informed that Steve Wynne has sent an email saying that he wants to use a shovel to hit him in the back of the head and bury him in the in the desert.
SPEAKER_03That's pretty That's a crazy threat.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03So on tool and shit. It's very specific, like it's like let me stop by Home Depot, maybe maybe Lowe's real quick, decide between a flathead and a speed language.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Oh, by the way, so so Wynne was uh he's a CEO of other resorts Mirage, which I think is gone now. Bellagio also. So back to that. Anyways, so he uh Wynn is like I never said that. That's not what I said. Quincy Jones is in the middle of this. Now, do you guys know who Quincy Jones is?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, absolutely. How the fuck did he get in the middle of it? Do you know who Quincy Jones is?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, he's a uh record producer, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Oh record producer.
SPEAKER_03Music producer produced a bunch of stuff.
SPEAKER_04Like just stuff?
SPEAKER_03A bunch of classics.
SPEAKER_04Classics?
SPEAKER_03Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_04Uh how about Michael Jackson's authority wall, thriller, yeah.
SPEAKER_03He's a beast.
SPEAKER_04Bad. I mean, only three of like the biggest uh records in Rashida Jones is his daughter. Yeah, she's uh outstanding. She's yeah, she's one of my first crushes. Yeah, she's uh she's uh she's stunning and she's a very smart lady. So I think he has a lot of kids actually. But I don't know. Rashida, I guess, just got the lucky draw and she became a successful actress. Anyways, so Wynne says, no, no, no, uh, I'm gonna take you to court, get my money back, and I never said that, right? Uh Joe Francis says, Well, Quincy Jones told me about the emails, and that's how I know these emails exist. But Quincy Jones is Joe Francis's neighbor at this time.
SPEAKER_03Oh damn.
SPEAKER_04And that's where I'm like, how do you feel? You're Quincy Jones. You produced like basically art and music, you know what I mean? And you're one of the, if not the most nominated individuals for Grammys.
SPEAKER_03One of the most prolific producers ever. Yeah. Yeah, hands down.
SPEAKER_04He's a composer, he's all the things. And your neighbor's Joe Francis. Like I don't know. You know what I mean? What are your thoughts?
SPEAKER_03We did have a lot of kids, so you know, he'd like to party. He'd like to pr you know.
SPEAKER_00Uh, I don't know. I don't I don't I think the best thing about my house is that I don't know any of my neighbors.
SPEAKER_03I don't know my neighbors either.
SPEAKER_00And like I like to think that no matter what level I'm on of success, like I wouldn't even know if like fucking the rock lives next to me. Like, I wouldn't care. Stay off of my little square and we're cool. I don't give a fuck who it is.
SPEAKER_04But this is most likely in Beverly Hills. So like you're not they probably partied. Yeah, no, they probably did. I know, but it it's gotta be a little bit interesting, like where you're like the old guard and the new guard. You know what I mean? Like when when that happens, when you're like when your neighbor probably had been like Desi Arnaz and now it's Joe Francis, you know what I mean? No, I mean I I'm assuming I that's not the truth. I'm just saying, like somebody of that caliber. Like he had somebody like some old Hollywood legend live next to you now, it's Joe Francis.
SPEAKER_00Like, I mean, hey, as I one point in time, I guess he was technically a sort of a you know, a legend.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I think I think more than anything, it's just as I guess as long As he can afford the house and he can pay the bills, who cares, right?
SPEAKER_00I mean, he wasn't paying his taxes, of course he could afford the house.
SPEAKER_04One of his arguments was that oh, so basically, sorry, let me go back. Wynne wants that two million dollars. Francis says he tried he wanted to kill me or hit me in the head and bury me, and Wynne's like, no, that's absurd. So Wynn files a defamation claim, I based on it. And uh but but being that he's a public figure, it's an extra element that you have to prove that it was basically a knowingly false statement or a reckless disregard for the truth. And so Wynne has to, if he's gonna take this to jury trial, his attorneys have to prove that element. And it's a it's a tough standard. Um it's really, you know, you have to prove that that uh Joe Francis was knowingly lying when he said it, right? So they end up having to bring uh Quincy Jones in as a witness.
SPEAKER_00That's crazy.
SPEAKER_04And when he and Quincy Jones is like, I I don't I don't remember any of these emails, I'm not involved. Like, this is absurd that I'm even being called as a witness.
SPEAKER_00I produce thriller, goddammit. I shouldn't even be here.
SPEAKER_04Right, right. So um Francis claims it's a litigation privilege. Now, when there's a lawsuit going on, you can uh you can pretty much say whatever you want as a la as it pertains to the to the court case, right? I don't know if you know this, but that that's something you can do. Um but if so, if you do that, now I I would like to propose something. Uh if if the producer Tony would like to do this, at this point in time you can edit this part out if you would like, but you can you can move me over and put a box here and we can put my husband explaining what happens in this instance.
SPEAKER_00That would be great.
SPEAKER_04And I can give you a kind of an idea right now, but you can cut this part out and then we can just like this. Uh so if you have a lawsuit, my understanding is because I don't do this area of law, but when you do this, if like we were involved in a lawsuit and then I was like, uh, you know, Tony is a swindler. Swindler. He swindles his customers out of money.
SPEAKER_00That's a strong accusation, but okay, carry on.
SPEAKER_04But if we're involved in a lawsuit and then you sue me for defamation, my lawyer can then do what's called an anti-slap. Called anti-slap file anti-slap complaint and uh get attorney's fees because it is actually not defamation, because it's a privilege within litigation to be able to say what you want during litigation. So sometimes I think it people get away with stuff because of that. Like in the Blake Lively, Justin Baldoni case, I don't know if you know that, but basically that was one of the things that they were trying to say is that there was like a defamation, but it was because of privileged uh litigation, it it goes nowhere. So but it carries with it attorney's fees. So it's very um attorneys that are filing the anti-slop like it because then they can get their attorney's fees back. So, anyways, you can cut all that out. It's all nerd nerd alert stuff.
SPEAKER_00But, anyways, all right, so you now we're leaving it.
SPEAKER_04Perfect, perfect, perfect. Um, so basically the judge was like, no dice. Uh, this wasn't you, even though you think it's part of it, you what you said it was in the middle of a debt hearing, and uh you never you said you were gonna pursue a uh restraining order and you never did. So you're not getting the litigation privilege. I don't know, that's interesting. But it was Steve Wynn also said that Francis said it to TMV TMZ as well. So on that aspect, that would be outside of the litigation privilege as well, potentially. So yeah. Um, but yeah, so anyways, he ends up going, they go the distance, and the court, the jury ended up uh awarding Steve Wynn something like 20 million dollars.
SPEAKER_03Damn, I know.
SPEAKER_04So, like if he would have just paid the two million dollars or even probably worked out a deal with them, you know what I mean? Like if he would have been like, hey, I don't have the two now, I'll give you one, and then you know they could have been give you a couple of DVDs on the side, we'll be good, you know what I mean? Like uncut DVDs.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah, act all crazy, go all barefoot, you know.
SPEAKER_04Anyway, so that's my story. Yeah, so basically, um they knew that the uh Steve Wynn's uh sorry, uh Steve Wynne's attorneys were able to prove that uh Francis knew that the story was false or had recklessly disregarded whether it was true.
SPEAKER_00Damn, that's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy.
SPEAKER_04Anyways, what do you got for us?
SPEAKER_00Uh a quick little tidbit um I've read something stupid online and I just wanted to share. Uh so a guy, I I forget where he was at. I want to say it was Florida. It's usually Florida. Um, but he broke into a pet store. Yeah. And he stole a cat. And then he took the cat with him. Can you guess where he went?
SPEAKER_04He was in Florida?
SPEAKER_00I think it was Florida, don't quote me, but when he left the pet store that he heisted a cat from, where do you think he went after that? Home?
SPEAKER_04Uh he went to McDonald's.
SPEAKER_00To rob a bank. Oh wow. Yeah. He then he took the cat with him to rob a bank. That's crazy. He gave the teller the cat and then slipped her a note that said this is a robbery type shit. He's mentally ill. To say the absolute least. Like, bro, you didn't take your Lexapro this morning.
SPEAKER_04To be fair, I think it means that he's a cat burglar.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, he's a cat.
SPEAKER_04He's on the prowl. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Like, what a crazy. I don't remember if it said he was on drugs or not, but like I feel like there had to be like some PCP involved or something. That motherfucker thought he was bringing a goddamn tiger with him.
SPEAKER_03To quote Hank Hill, that boy ain't right.
SPEAKER_00Something wasn't wired correctly because that's a that's a very quickly escalating series of events. Wow. Yeah, I got away with breaking into this pet store. Let me try my luck at Robin a bank.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, get that feline involved.
SPEAKER_00The cat's day now. Hell yeah. You think pet stores have guard dogs?
SPEAKER_04Not anymore.
SPEAKER_00No. There's not even pet stores.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, there's not even pet shops no more.
SPEAKER_00Really? Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Not really.
SPEAKER_00You know, I never I didn't like going in pet stores. Yeah, not in California. It was depressing. Yeah. They used to have a pet store at the mall when I was a kid and I fucking hated it.
SPEAKER_03In New York, they got a bunch of crazy pet stores. Like iguanas and stuff like that. Like just, I don't know, just a bunch of dogs.
SPEAKER_00Welcome to Ostriches Aurora.
SPEAKER_04I had one time read an article that there was a person in New York who had I think like a two-bedroom apartment and had an alligator in one room and like a like I want to say like a tiger.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, like a baby tiger or something.
SPEAKER_04In the other one.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, people are crazy with their exotic pets. Yeah. 100% was a white guy. Yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_04All I know is not only the scariness of like sleeping with that situation, but like their poops must have been massive, you know?
SPEAKER_00Like and feeding them.
SPEAKER_04How do you afford to feed them? Like that's gotta be a lot of meat.
SPEAKER_00New York has a lot of rats. I'm sure they figured it out from there.
SPEAKER_03I know. Like, let me just kill what's around my fucking apartment.
SPEAKER_04Or or just even went to like the restaurants and been like, can I have your waste? You know, and like take it and further animals. But ooh, I don't know.
SPEAKER_03He was thinking he's all Steve Irwin and shit. Tiger King.
SPEAKER_04No, do you think the bank teller like had to pause and wonder what's going on? Like cat pause.
SPEAKER_00What but like shut the fuck up. I can't imagine what's going through your mind when someone hands you a kitten or a cat and then a note that says this is a robbery.
SPEAKER_04Cat got your tongue? Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I'd have been like, man, get the fuck out of here. And I'm keeping the cat, bitch. Leave. He has nine likes. He wasn't armed with anything else. Just a cat. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Wonder what the cat's name was.
SPEAKER_00I don't know.
SPEAKER_04You ever you ever stole a stole a cat?
SPEAKER_03Uh never stole a cat. Uh never a cat. You look like you've stolen some shit, though. When I was younger, I used to allegedly I had a shop shoplifting phase, allegedly. You know. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04What was what was you like Pokemon Guards?
SPEAKER_03Art supplies. Oh.
SPEAKER_04What's your what's your art of choice?
SPEAKER_03Uh I used to go to Michael's allegedly. And uh Mikel's.
SPEAKER_00The statute's gotta be up by now. You're fine.
SPEAKER_03And I used to just take uh just say Joann's, it's out of business now. Joann's. I used to get a bunch of Sharpies and black books. I used to, I wouldn't say graffiti, but I was very into graffiti. Yeah, yeah. Nice. Yeah, I'm sure my parents would have bought it for me, but like I just was sneaky.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I needed I needed to feel the rush.
SPEAKER_04That thrill.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04How many like would you take one at a time?
SPEAKER_03I would take a lot.
SPEAKER_04Ooh.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I would make it worth it.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03My cousin. It's gotta be worth it. All or nothing. Yeah, no risk, no reward. I wouldn't do it for one, you know, paint marker.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I would go in there and come out with like a handful of paint markers, allegedly. Allegedly.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_04You had to do it louder.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. No, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that's cool. That's perfect.
SPEAKER_03I don't steal no more though, you know? Yeah. Not since I became 18. I was like, fuck that.
SPEAKER_04Just last year.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that's gotta be. I mean, the cat's happiest and saddest day. Like, he's like, oh, I'm getting taken out of here. This is awesome. And then, like, wait, I'm being gifted to somebody else. Like in exchange for now. Uh, do you know how much what did he get? Do you know?
SPEAKER_00Arrested. Well, yeah.
SPEAKER_04I mean, did he get any money or did he get arrested? I don't think so.
SPEAKER_00No. Uh he did get arrested. Yeah, he didn't make it very far. He didn't make it very far out of there. He's probably dead. No, just kidding. Now, I don't is that armed robbery or like I don't think so. Probably attempted robbery would be the charge.
SPEAKER_04Well, it it would be robbery, like because he then he put that cat in danger too.
SPEAKER_03They got him.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, they I wouldn't be surprised if they threw in like an animal endangerment or something in there too. But um, no, he he definitely went it wasn't like attempted, I don't think. Oh, I mean, I guess I don't know how it would be charged.
SPEAKER_00Uh it didn't say whether or not he got money, so I don't know.
SPEAKER_04I mean, he didn't attempt it, he actually did it. He just it wasn't the other side didn't maybe give him the money, but I don't know. That's interesting. And you don't know if it's Florida or not. It sounds like a very Florida.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it sounds like some shenanigans from Florida.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I hear the craziest stories from Florida.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Are you got any shows coming up?
SPEAKER_03Uh yeah, I got a couple shows uh I'm really excited about. I'm playing the La Factory tonight. Uh uh I'm opening for Adam Fink.
SPEAKER_04We're in uh San Diego. Oh, nice.
SPEAKER_03It's my first time performing uh at the La Factory.
SPEAKER_04Oh in the La Factory, okay.
SPEAKER_03I performed at the Yellow Door, that was a really cool room.
SPEAKER_04That's awesome.
SPEAKER_03And then uh I'm performing at the comedy store August 7th.
SPEAKER_04Oh, wow.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, with uh George Perez.
SPEAKER_04Amazing.
SPEAKER_03Love that guy. Yeah, he's a big homie. Funk and Fridays. Okay, and then uh August 14th is uh my show, uh the Red Room Comedy with uh Ian Edwards. You do uh Christian uh uh I forgot his last name. He's the killer. Zaragosa. Okay, yeah, he's he's blowing up online. His dance videos are so funny.
SPEAKER_02That's amazing.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and I got another show uh September 3rd, taking my show to Menapee.
SPEAKER_02Oh, wow.
SPEAKER_03I'm trying to travel a little bit.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_03So I'm going to Above the Iron uh Comedy Club.
SPEAKER_02Okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_03I got a bunch of cool stuff in the works. Oh, and I'm producing the show, I think, uh August 29th in Echo Park. Oh uh Echo Rising. Yeah, it's like a 420-friendly show. Yeah. So are you trying to tell us that your other shows aren't 420 friendly or uh uh they're all 420 friendly, but this this is like you could actually smoke in the building. Oh yeah, so like yeah, at all my shows, I'm always you know, I'm always faded, or you know, that's the one thing I put clear eyes in today. My aunt, she's like, Mikey looking too faded. She watches my podcast. She's like, she's like, you need to put some clear eyes or put some some some sunglasses on or something. So I tried not to look so faded today.
SPEAKER_04You don't look faded to me.
SPEAKER_03Okay, for sure. No, but yeah, all my shows are over here.
SPEAKER_04He nodded.
SPEAKER_00I I'm fucking almost 36 years old. I don't give a fuck.
SPEAKER_04He's fading away.
SPEAKER_00I am high all day, every day, and all of my responsibilities are taken care of. If people don't like that, they can kiss my ass.
SPEAKER_03No, but all my shows are 420 friendly. Like you could smoke outside, but we have for the one on the 29th. You could actually smoke in the building, like I assumed.
SPEAKER_04That's why I said it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04You strike me as someone who would be 420 friendly.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I uh I just smoke. I don't drink. I haven't drank since 2012.
SPEAKER_04Wow.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I used to be a party animal. Oh, yeah. I used to be a party animal. Fuck yeah.
SPEAKER_04You still are a party animal.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I still party a little bit. There's more of an animal party nowadays. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Party cat. Yeah, I'm like that gets traded for bank money.
SPEAKER_03This cat. If I was a cat, I'd be like an orange cabbie or tabby, you know.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, you think so?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, they're very chill.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_03I used to have I used to have one, so like I could relate to him. That's why I was like, if I was a cat, I'd be this guy. You I'm happy you guys brought me on the show, though.
SPEAKER_04You know, thank you for being here. Yeah, it's so awesome. Very cool. I'm I'm stoked for all the shows you have coming up. It's like we got you right before the big time. You're like right at the the cusp, and we got you first. So we love it.
SPEAKER_03I just love comedy, and I, you know, I'm I'm grateful to learn a lot about Joe Francis. You know, I didn't know all this, you know. I knew it was a scumbag, but I was like, damn, you know.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, well, he's a this is probably one of the most passionate guys that I know when it comes to comedy. Like he really does this shit and he really fucking loves it.
SPEAKER_04I love it.
unknownThank you.
SPEAKER_03No, I mean that's why it's I love you, big dog. I I seen him once at a show and he looked so fresh, he looked like AJ M47. You know, I was like, damn, just come back from him, you know. Which show was that? It was at the hotel, bro. Oh, yeah, that bougie ass hotel. It was a dope spot, bro. It was a good it was a good room. It was a good room. I only seen one show there.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, it was it was cool. It was a good room, that was a fun show.
SPEAKER_04Well, thank you so much for joining us, and we'll have you back sometime soon, hopefully. And uh, like and subscribe, please follow us on Instagram. Take care.