Episode 7: Something...is better than nothing

In today's episode I will encourage you about using what you have to make a small impact on someone else's day. 

This video contains a story called The Starfish Tale and was and can be located here: 
https://www.thestarfishchange.org/starfish-tale

adapted from "The Star Thrower" by Loren C. Eiseley
"The Star Thrower" from THE UNEXPECTED UNIVERSE by Loren Eiseley. Copyright © 1968 by Loren Eiseley and renewed 1996 by John A. Eichman, III. Used by permission of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:03

Welcome to this week's episode of Unpologically Perfect. Thank you so much for joining us. I would like to begin by acknowledging the Dark people, the traditional custodians of the land on which this podcast is filmed and recorded. I pay respects to Elders past, present, and emerging, and extend that respect to any other Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander people watching or listening today. I acknowledge that this land is and always will be Darek Country. Welcome back, everyone. Thank you so much for joining. Whether you're listening or you're watching on YouTube, I appreciate you so much. I know our following is very small at the moment, but I don't mind. As long as you're getting something out of this, that's just my goal. I just want to share my story. I just want to keep it real, raw, and relatable. So thank you for being here. Episode seven. I can't believe we've got to episode seven. This last week has been a bit of a self-doubting week for me. And I actually wasn't sure whether I was going to continue or not. Because I'm like, I really don't actually have anything to say, and who's going to want to listen anyway? So anyway, here I am. And to kick off episode seven, it's riddle time. I'm always given, but can never stay. You spend me wisely or waste me away. I'm the tool you're born with, helping each day. I build, I catch, I work, I play. Everyone has me, yet once more on demand. Not going to tell you the answer just yet. So you've got to keep listening or watching. Ever had any of these following thoughts? I'm not skilled enough. I'm too young. I don't know where to start. I don't have the money. I don't have the time. I'm not strong enough to do that. I have nothing to offer. I've called this episode something is always better than nothing. And it got me thinking about what do I have and what can I offer. So I hope you find some encouragement today. It never ceases to amaze me how often we as humans think we can't do something. But one thing I am slowly learning, slowly being the operative word, is we can often do more than we think. The only thing that really holds us back is ourselves. We have 24 hours in a day, 168 hours in one week. But I often wonder how many of these hours are wasted. I did some research and I found these stats. Guilty. If you buy a coffee five days a week, you could be spending up to $120 a month here in Australia. If you buy two cups of coffee seven days a week, you are risking spending up to $335 a month here in Australia as well. So this got me really thinking: how do I spend my time and my money? As I said, I'm guilty of doom scrolling on my phone for hours or playing games on my phone. More often than not, I'm not present when people are talking to me. Or I waste money on impulse buyers, including takeaway hot chocolate, because I don't drink coffee. Please don't come at me. And online shopping, Timu is not always my friend. But I'm guilty of using excuses like I don't have time. I can't do that.

SPEAKER_00 3:57

When I actually stop and think about it, my only reason really is me. Scroll back to my riddle my riddle up at the beginning.

SPEAKER_01 4:11

I'm always given, but never can stay. You spend me wisely or waste me away. I'm the tool you're born with helping each day. I build, I catch, I work, I play. Everyone has me yet wants more on demand. The answer to this riddle is your time and your hands. I'd like to read you The Tale of a Starfish, adapted from The Star Thrower by Lauren C. Ellesley. The Tale of a Starfish. It all started when a young girl was walking along a beach upon which thousands of starfish had been washed up during a terrible storm. When she came to each starfish, she would pick it up and throw it back into the ocean. People watched her amused. She had been doing this for some time when a man approached her and said Little girl, why are you doing this? Look at this beach. You can't save all these starfish. You can't begin to make a difference. The girl seemed crushed, suddenly deflated. But after a few moments she bent down, picked up another starfish, and hurled it as far as she could into the ocean. Then she looked up at the man and replied Well, I made a difference for that one. The old man looked at the girl inquisitively, and thought about what she had done and had said. Inspired, he joined the little girl in throwing starfish back into the sea. Soon others joined and all the starfish were saved. I love this little story because it shows us how doing something, anything, can make a difference, even if it's only small. I've heard so many times in my life that I can't do this, I can't do that. And I'm sure, in fact, I'm probably certain you have as well. When these sorts of words are spoken over us, we actually begin to believe them. They become our false truth. And then we kind of just give up. We don't even try. Because it's like, well, what's the point? I've been told I can't do this. But imagine if we did do something. It doesn't have to be something big, but just something within our means. I'm sure that the man in the story probably thought the little girl was crazy, right? Throwing starfish back into sea, looking along the beach, going, how is she going to get this done? But the girl acted on her belief that she could make a difference. And she did. Now, while most of us won't walk along a beach and throw starfish back into the ocean, we all have something that we can do. We can look up at our phones from a sec for a second and smile at someone. Who knows? Might be the only smile that person sees all day.

SPEAKER_00 7:30

When we're cooking dinner for our family, we could always prepare an extra meal and donate it to someone in need. We could use this what skills we do have to help someone.

SPEAKER_01 7:47

We could be present and listen when people talk. I think that's a big one in today's society. We're so digitally driven that we feel like we have to be on our phones 24-7. And I'm guilty epically. And it's something I really want to work on. I really want to be present and listen to people as they talk. What do I mean by being present? I mean actually being in the moment, thinking about what the person's talking about, not being like, oh yeah, oh my phone just buzzed. Oh, I wonder who that was. Oh, I can't check it. That's gonna be rude. Oh, oh man, I'm so hungry. Like, I need food. Like, I want to be able to block that stuff out and actually be present. Because giving someone your time can really make a huge difference. We can give someone a hug if they need a hug. We can encourage someone. It doesn't have to be anything major. Something simple about how they look, right? It would work. Or if you're not good with physical words, give them a little note, reminding them that they're awesome. I did myself an encouragement this week. I've dyed my hair and I also had a haircut, so it's short. But I needed to. I needed to do that for me. Obviously, I can't go and dye someone else's hair, or I can't cut it for them. But it was an encouragement that I needed to give me the power to then step forward and encourage others. I live just out of Sydney. I'm in Western Sydney. When I go down to the city, like the actual CBD part, I often see the homeless and they're in parks or outside shops with the small amount of possessions they have. Sometimes they're literally covered in cardboard boxes. They may have a blanket if they're lucky. A bag. I always think and I wish there was something I could do. Don't get me wrong, like I donate to causes when I can. But sometimes I'd like to do something then and there. But what? I don't have huge monetary funds. And I wouldn't even know where to start to collect donations or where to drop them off to ensure that they actually make it out there to the streets. So I sit on my hands and I do nothing. Unfortunately, especially in Sydney, there is a stigma with our homeless people that many, not all, but many that are sitting on the streets with their little cup asking for money. They only want it for drugs or alcohol. I mean, look, while this may be the case for some, I guarantee it's not the same for everyone. And even if it is, honestly, who are we to judge them, right? We all have a story. Some of us have landed on our feet better than others. We can't help that. So because I've been told so many times that they just want money for such things, I look away and I keep walking. Like so many do in our city. But what if I didn't? What if I went to the shop and I bought one person a bottle of water or a can of coke, a chocolate bar, or even just a simple McDonald's meal? How much of an impact would my small gesture have on someone in that situation? I'm gonna buy myself food and drink and see anyway, right? So instead of wasting my money on something, why not use it to enlighten someone's day, to encourage someone. Something is better than nothing. Regardless of the size, something is always, always better than nothing. One of my friends has started running in the last couple of years and or going to the gym, and she's like, oh man, I've got like I just I don't feel it today. And we've both said to each other, something is better than nothing. Something is better than nothing. Today's society is so different from the one I grew up in. Hey, like I'm 42, so I grew up in the late 80s, early 90s. And yeah, it's so different. You know, back then you'd be able to go and help someone without any questions asked. You just help. You drop things and you just help. These days, people are so wary of hidden agendas. And when you try to help someone, you try to step out of your comfort zone and help them. They look at you square as if to say, like, what do you want? Right? They feel there's this hidden agenda. As someone who has been scammed multiple times, I get being wary and suspicious. I have a huge heart and I am super generous, and it costs me sometimes. I'm not gonna lie. Today's scammers are very clever as well. So please be careful out there. But even just trying to walk across the street, you see someone struggling like to offer help, they look at you as if say, are you gonna mug me? Like, are you gonna what do you want? It's like, well, I just want to be able to help you. I I can't do something big, but I can help you, you know. The elderly couple that walk across the street with their shopping. How many of us want to help them? But we feel that people are just gonna be like, what do that person want?

SPEAKER_00 13:43

Right?

SPEAKER_01 13:44

Everyone's gonna be looking sidewards. But how nice would it be to restore just some faith in the human race? Do something small for no reason but to help someone. I want to be like the girl in the story, in the starfish story. I want to be courageous to step out and do something, even when adversity comes. The little girl going on her way down the beach, picking up starfish, throwing them into the ocean. She may have paused for a minute when the man questioned her. But she didn't stop. She didn't give up.

SPEAKER_00 14:30

She kept going because she believed that she could make a difference.

SPEAKER_01 14:40

I certainly can't help everyone, but I can make an effort to at least help one person. So what's in your hand? What's in your hand that you could use to do something today? What skills do you have that you could use to help someone else? Could you forgo one cup of coffee this week and pay it forward for someone else? If you're making dinner this week for your family, could you make one extra meal for someone going through a hard time? Could you spare a few seconds to look up at someone and smile? Could you spare the time to catch up with a that friend that you've been meaning to catch up with and be truly present and listen to them? I get it. We live in a very, very busy world. All right. I'm not denying that we are time poor at times. But maybe if we just reshuffle our priorities a little bit and reshuffle our time use, we'd be amazed what we could do. We all have something to offer, even when we think we don't. You don't have to do anything big, and certainly nothing outside of your means, but do something. Because doing something is always better than doing nothing. We don't need a qualification to help others. We are already qualified enough. But we need to act, we need to do. But what have you got that you can give? You can share. My story on my socials lately, not so much on this page, but on my personal ones, I keep finding like funny memes or whatever, and I'm sharing them because I'm like, this made me smile. Maybe it's gonna make someone else smile today. Or I'll be like, wow, this really encouraged me. I want to share that because I want people to be encouraged. I'm already on my phone, I'm already on social media. Why not share something? Why not reach out to a friend you haven't reached out to in a long time? And just be like, hey, I just wanted to say hi. Hope you're doing well. That small act could make a bigger impact than you know. You see someone drop something, bend down, pick it up.

SPEAKER_00 17:40

No agenda, no reason, but just to encourage them.

SPEAKER_01 17:48

I keep getting in trouble from one of my friends about my smile because when I do selfies, I hate doing selfies, right? But when I do selfies, I'm like these.

SPEAKER_00 17:56

And she's like, dude, just no.

SPEAKER_01 18:01

But when I actually smile properly, it has a flow-on effect because I often find the people around me will also start to smile. Kind of a butterfly effect. It's contagious, right?

SPEAKER_00 18:15

If I was to look up from looking down when I'm walking down the street, and I actually smiled at someone, that could be what they need to keep going.

SPEAKER_01 18:29

That tiny little action could be the one thing that helps them go.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

I need to keep doing. I need to keep going.

SPEAKER_01 18:43

I am pretty good with my words. I know I get tongue-tied occasionally when I'm speaking, but that's just me. I'm real, I'm raw. But I've always been good with my words, and I can also always sense when there's something not right with my friends, those that are close to me. And often I just want to say it can be as simple as I just want to reach out and just say hi. You know, I just want to reach out, I just wanted to say hi. Hope you're doing well. You know, here if you ever need anything. Sometimes our help can be pushed back or overwhelmed, or overwhelming, I should say, for the other person. And quick story before we finish, but a couple of years ago, someone very close and dear to me was going through an absolute hell of a time. And I it was nasty. I put my life on hold to go and help, which was never an issue. I would do the same over again, right? But I did put my life on hold to go and help this person, and me being me, I want to always help. I want to have this habit of wanting to try and fix things as well. Big four. Anyway, I was starting to feel really disheartened and frustrated because my help wasn't being accepted. When I spoke to my psychologist about it, she said to me, You've got to think of it like a box of vegetables. All right. You go to someone's house and you knock on their door with a box of vegetables, and you say, you know what? I've got this box of vegetables for you. I'm just gonna leave it here for if you want it. If you don't, cool, but it's here if you want it. That got me really thinking, and it was a real eye-opener because my help wasn't being rejected.

SPEAKER_00 21:08

It was a case of the other person was just going through so much that it was a bit overwhelming. But by having the box there, they knew they could reach out and grab something out of it at any time. I still did something. I was still there and I still offered help.

SPEAKER_01 21:36

But sometimes our helps or our encouragement, it's not always the right time for the other person. It doesn't mean they don't want it. They're processing. Whilst it's nice to be able to bless people and encourage people, we've also got to look after us as well. We pretty much all have access to the internet these days. There's so many encouraging things out there that we Can use to encourage ourselves. You know, for me, it's music. I love, love, love, love music, and music speaks to me. Sometimes it's watching a movie. There's some certain movies that I love watching that they just get the feels, right? They just hit you in the feels. But I need to replenish me before I can also give out.

SPEAKER_00 22:24

Because you can't give from an empty cup.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

But today I just really want to challenge that. What have we got? What have you got in your hand? Doesn't need to be much. Does not need to be much. But what have you got in your hand that you can share that you can encourage someone else with? Maybe you're at Macca's drive-thru. And maybe you got a bit of an extra bonus at work this week and you decide to pay it forward for the car in front of the car behind you. All right? You go through Starbucks, you get a coffee. You willingly, without wanting anything in return, pay for the coffee for the person behind you or their order. Or part of it. Don't even have to pay for all of it.

SPEAKER_00 23:17

We all have something we can give. But we also need to make sure we are giving to ourselves as well. So what is in your hand?

SPEAKER_01 23:30

What have you got around you that you can use today to make a difference in someone else's life? Someone else's world. What have you got? Something is always better than nothing. Regardless of how much or how little, something is always better than nothing.

SPEAKER_00 23:50

It worked for the little girl with the starfish, right? She was one person doing the impossible.

SPEAKER_01 23:58

Questioned, and people probably looking at her laughing. But then one turned into another, turned into another, turned into another. Flow on effect. That small little gesture that you do today could still be impacting someone a week later because of the flow and effect. Something is always better than nothing. You're not too young. You're not too old. But you could find the time. It doesn't need to cost you.

SPEAKER_00 24:33

You can do it. And you are qualified.

SPEAKER_01 24:37

Something is always better than nothing. So what's in your hand? What's in your hand? What's in your life? Take it and use it. There's an old saying, practice makes perfect. And if you don't practice your skills, you lose them. Use it. Use what you've got to help someone else. I really hope that you've found some encouragement in today's episode. I know it kind of just seems like I'm rambling a lot, but this particular episode was actually a real struggle for me to write because I wanted it to come out in a way that just makes us think. Instead of always being like, nope, can't do that. Nope, nope, nope. Like, actually, hey, that is something I could do. You know, oh, I I've cooked too much because, you know, one of the kids is at a school camp or something, or someone's away for the weekend. Well, rather than just overfill our plates, I'm gonna put that meal in a container and I'm gonna give it to my neighbor who's doing it tough.

SPEAKER_00 25:51

My friend down the road who's doing it tough. I'm gonna donate it to someone or an organization that could use it.

SPEAKER_01 26:01

Something is better than nothing. So thank you for watching or listening today. I hope you have found some encouragement or a spark of hope, or maybe even just a thought-provoking thing that's got you thinking that, hey, there is actually something I can do. Remember, every one of us is fighting a battle that we know nothing about. We know nothing about the other person's battle. Everyone is fighting a battle that you know nothing about. And we are all on our own journey to becoming unapologetically imperfect. Because it's the best way to be. Till next time.