Mile High with a Vampire - Episode 1

I randomly picked up the book Mile High with a Vampire by Lynsay Sands. In this episode I start reading chapter 1. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to Storytime with Uncle Beanbag, where I take a random book that I find, I read through it, and I kind of discuss it as I'm going along. It's not going to be your standard audio podcast type thing, so let's get started with the very first book, which is Mile High with a Vampire that I found at the dollar store. It was published in 2021, and it's by Lindsay Sands. So, chapter one. Quinn, which reminds me of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman immediately. Quinn was torn from a deep sleep to find herself in a world of noise and chaos. Shivering, she peered around with confusion, trying to understand how it could be so cold in the middle of summer and what was happening to cause the shrieking and screaming going on around her. I should also say that this, according to one of my friends, this book that's in the middle of this vampire series, Arginaux novels. I don't really care. I'm just gonna keep reading. I'm not gonna read the other ones. Where the hell was I? It wasn't easy it wasn't easy to sort out at first, a bitter wind slapping at her, taking her breath away and making her hair thrash and whip around her face, intermittently obscuring her vision. Between that and the lights blinking on and off, she caught brief images of seats and small tables around her, as well as smaller loose items flying every which way. And then, in a brief moment of light and no hair in her eyes, she spotted a coffee cup flying toward her head. It's kind of an interesting good way to start a book, really. Quinn instinctively leaned sideways in her seat and turned her face away to avoid the item. That's when she spotted the woman the women? Yeah, the women in the seats across from the aisle from her own. Amazonian in size, both were screaming and clutching frantically at their armrests, their wide eyes focused on something ahead and a bit below them. The sight was enough to nudge her memory, and Quinn recalled that she was on a plane traveling from Italy to Canada. She swiveled her head around to see what women were what the women were looking at with such horror, and her own eyes immediately widened with dismay. They were looking at a hole about a square foot in size in the side of the plane. Their altitude and that opening were the source of the cold, brutal wind swirling inside the cabin. Some part of her mind realized, but it was in the position of the hole that caused her most alarm. It was above the seats along the wall, probably a smashed window, but it was below the women because the plane was in a near nosedive plummeting toward the earth. So obviously they're in a plane crash. I'm assuming as per the last book, Quinn I think she's a vampire at this point. I don't really know in the story. I'm assuming she was on a commercial flight? Because or maybe like a private jet. I don't know. Let's keep going. How had she missed that? Had she missed what? Oh, the plane nosediving. The question was or question had barely shot through her thoughts when something slammed into the side of her head. A surprised grunt of pain slipped from Quinn's lips and her hand started towards the now sore spot on her scalp. But a second blow from an unknown unknown object g sometimes reading's a little hard. A second blow from an unknown object made her give up made her what? Made her give that up to simply bend forward What? Let me start over again. This doesn't make any sense the way I'm reading it. A surprise grunt of pain slid from Quinn's lips, and her hand started toward the now sore spot on her scalp. Okay. But a second blow from an unknown object made her give that up to simply bend forward below the cover provided by the seat bags. So I guess stuff keeps cracking in her head. She bent until her chest rested on her knees and she was staring at the carpeted floor, and then covered the back of her head with her hands. It was the what the flight attendants had always said to do during those safety run throughs at the start of every flight, and it seemed the smartest thing to do now. Yeah, the crash position. Quinn had barely finished taking the position when she heard what sounded like an engine starting. What? Okay. It was only then that she realized the sound had been missing when she first woke up. Oh, okay, so I guess the engines flared out and they ended up plummeting and then they came back. The plane began to level off as the pilots were fighting to get it out of its dive. Maybe they were just trying to try uh achieve zero G, like those uh planes that NASA have that do that where they film the entire sequences of Apollo 13 and Zero Gravity doing that in those uh dive planes. But I doubt that. Um she found herself holding her breath and listening to the engine with concern. It didn't sound like it had when they'd taken off. The steady hum it had what? The steady hum it had been. I guess in reference to the sound of the engines, but it's a weird way to structure the sentence to me. The steady hum it had been now sounded more like a stuttering cough, she thought, and then her breath let out on a cross between a moan and a gasp when a violent shudder went through the plane. That is written very odd. Well, let's continue. It was accompanied by a roar of ripping metal that seemed to have come from all around as she was jolted painfully against her seat, so basically the plane's falling apart. She's probably gonna die. Or somebody's gonna die. She's I think a vampire, so she'll be fine. Gasping for breath now, Quinn looked toward the women in the seat across from the aisle and blinked in confusion, followed by horror. A gaping hole a gaping hole had opened up alongside what? Man, I don't know if it's me that just can't get the words outright, or I don't know if it's just the way this is written. A gaping hole had opened up along the side of the plane. Okay, I I missed the And the women who had been seated across from her were gone. Well, more power to you, I mean you know, free diving. Along with their seats and part of the floor, all that was left was a view of the world outside the plane. It's kind of reminded me of that scene from it's a dream sequence in Bike Club where Edward Norton's character is um talking about how uh insurance pays out only after so many things happened, and that I think he's wanting to like experience a plane crash and in that either daydream or dream sequence, he's there and like seats get ripped out of the plane, but then he wakes up. So it's kind of similar to that. This is the format of the podcast, y'all. Hope you enjoy. It's gonna get weird, but I don't know how because I've never read this book yet, but stick with me. We're in this together. Now I gotta find where the hell I stopped. Uh so the women are gone and their seats are gone, part of the floor is gone. All that was left was a view of the world outside the plane, dark night with darker shapes of trees whizzing past as the plane started to spin. So she's gotta be a vampire if she can see that much detail, because otherwise I don't think you'd really be paying much attention uh to dark shapes of dark trees at a dark night. They managed to level out too late and were now careening through what appeared to be a forest. Okay, well, I have some tea here, so I'm gonna take a sip. Sure, they were all about to die. Oh, well, okay. Quinn bowed her head and closed her eyes to pray. It was a simple prayer. Oh god, oh god, oh god. She slipped from or slipped from her lips in an almost silent litany of despair and pleading. And then the plane jolted again with another accompaniment of tortured metal before coming to a shuddering halt. Amazed to still be alive, Quinn set up to peer around. I'm gonna try to keep the the nonverbal noises to the minimum, um, but you'll have to bear with some of this. So yeah, amazed to still be alive, Quinn set up to peer around. Her gaze slid over the long rend in the side of the plane. It started where the broken window had been, went past where the two now missing women had sat, and stretched all the way to just before the dark not what? Just before the back seats, where the last two of her five companions on the spite were even now sitting up to look around as well. I have no idea where I came up with dark. I read dark somewhere. It was like some giant had reached out and peeled the wall of the plane away to look inside. She thought as she unsnapped her belt. Trees whip trees whip There's no W, dumbass. Trees rip wing off take wall with it. Oh, okay. I should have read a little bit. Trees rip wing off, take wall with it. Quinn blinked at that grim expression or explanation spoken with a heavy Russian accent. And oh it's a woman, well, never mind. She's a very masculine woman, as most Russian women tend to be. And turned to the woman who had given it. Kira Sarka. The tall blonde and her much smaller bodyguard Lilia were already out of their seats and at her side. So I'm guessing they're all damn vampires. You are good, duh, Kira asked, her gaze skimming Quinn where she sat. Duh, Quinn murdered, and then cleared her throat and said, Yes, thank you. Are either of you hurt? They looked fine, but there had been a lot of things flying around inside the plane. The cups and glasses they'd used and the other items from the little galley between the cockpit and the passenger area. She thought she'd even seen a laptop was passed at one point. I'm thinking they're on a smaller private jet, um, just because Yeah, there would be a lot more going on if she was on a commercial flight. We go find Nika, Marta, and Anika. You check pilots. Quinn frowned at the mention of the three women, Marta and Nika, and had uh Mart Marta and Nika had been the women in the seats across the aisle from her. So there's the an the Amazons that went for a free dive. Annika had been further back in one of the two seats that had faced Kira and Lilia. Those seats were now missing too. She saw as was the table that had been between the quartet of seats. She'd forgotten all about the third woman. Wait, I'll come with you. They might be hurt and need me, Quinn said, standing up, but she paused to grab the back of her seat to steady herself as she became aware of how shaky her legs were. It was just expected. What the where am I getting extra words from? It was expected to Lord. It was to be expected after an incident like this, but annoying just the same. Nyet immortals need no doctors, mortals do sit to pilots, Kira ordered. And then was gone before she could protest further. Not that Quinn would have protested, Kira was right, as immortals, the Russian women who had been torn out of the plane wouldn't need assistance beyond blood if injured, but their pilots were mortal and would need her help. If they were alive, she thought, with concern, as it slid into what remained of the aisle and started forward through the destroyed cabin of the plane. That last shuddering jolt that had brought them to a halt must have been in the plane crashing in or must have been the plane crashing into something. And the front of the plane where the pilot set would have taken the brunt of the impact, so they're probably disintegrated. Quinn wasn't at all sure of what she would find in the cockpit. While she and the other two immortals hadn't been hurt, the air was heavy with the scent of blood, but that didn't mean anything. The galley was a wash of the thick liquid, a result of the refrigerator flying open at some point during their crash and vomiting its contents to everywhere. The blood bags it had held had burst against the walls and counters as they flew around, grimacing as her feet squelched on the blood-soaked carpet. Quinn tried to mentally prepare herself for what was coming as she approached the door. So from what I'm getting from this, she's an immortal vampire. I'm that think that was obvious just from reading the back of the book. Let me pop to the back here. Jet Lassiter likes being a pilot for Argino Enterprises. Perks include traveling to exotic locations and meeting interesting people, and even if they are the blood-sucking kind. He's living the good life until his plane goes down in the mountains and four of his passengers are gravely injured. They need blood to heal, and Jet is the only source. So I'm guessing Jet's gonna be there in a second. Quinn Peters, who never wanted to be a mortal, but she is now, uh, wants a renowned heart surgeon. Of course she is. I mean, what what else? It's like the the big city gal who's got a real big pain career and then goes to the small town um place uh around Christmas time or gets broken down and then meets a hunk of a man and learns the true meaning of Christmas. Well, I'm I'm assuming that's what Jet Lasseter is gonna do to her, but we'll see. Hallmark movies and everything. Um she was a renowned heart surgeon. She was turned against her will, and now she has to drink blood to survive. Okay, so yeah, obviously she is a vampire. I think I read the back of the book when I was at the dollar store, but that was a couple days ago. Before she can ask how her life can get any worse, she's in a plane crash, one of the few survivors. Quinn is desperate to get the mortal pilot to safety before her fellow immortals succumb to their bloodlust and drain jet dry. Okay, so she's gonna find him in the cockpit. She's gonna be overly protective of him, and she's basically gonna fall in love with him, and he's gonna have to wrestle with. Oh no, do I fall in love with this former heart surgeon, hot vampire lady who's really conflicted about being a vampire? Um, but she is one, and she's one of the sexiest people I know, so can I deal with that in any way that would be meaningful while I take my shirt off or open up my shirt? Which coincidentally on the cover, there's a guy in a bomber jacket with aviator glasses that has no shirt and six-pack well-defined abs. So I'm assuming that's Jet Lassiter. Yeah, Jet Lassiter. Where the hell was I in reading this? Oh, the last part. Um, but hungry vampires are the least of their worries. The crash wasn't an accident, and someone was trying to kill Quinn. Uh will she and Jet find their happily ever after as life mates, or will her assassin find her first? Okay. It's basic romance story setup. I mean, I've read a couple hundred romance books, which is another reason why I kind of wanted to do this type of podcast. But I think it will be interesting. I mean, it's not poorly written so far, but we're only we're not even through the first chapter. There's just a big pause break there. Alright. Well, and the other part too that's kind of standing out weird to me. Like, I don't know the character. She's a renowned heart surgeon, which means she's been around blood in viscera a lot, and she's squeamish because her shoes or her bare feet, I don't know if she has shoes on, are squelching through the blood-soaked carpets. I don't I mean, maybe she is, but that seems like completely out of character for someone who is a or was a renowned heart surgeon by choice and was exposed to all that frequently. Um but you know, we'll see. Maybe it's uh Lindsay Sands um self-insert. I don't know. Having not read any of the other books before this, I don't really know. But it's kind of interesting to get into a story in the midpoint. That's how I started with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the series is my friend and I started watching on season five, and the very first episode, all of a sudden, Dawn showed up. We had no prior context for who she was, and then Dracula shows up, and it's like, okay, I kind of like this. I don't really know what's going on. So we ended up watching season six and seven, and then going back to the beginning and starting over and going through things, and there's a lot of jokes and comments that they made later on, especially like Buffy turning to Xander and when Xander says to do something, she's like, Is this from your experiences in the army? Which we thought was just a stupid joke, kind of like a snide comment. But going back through the episodes, I think at season three, when they're doing the Halloween stuff and he dons the army costume, and the one sorcerer guy turns everybody who's in costume into that, those people. And Xander actually does retain experiences from a pseudo-like military career because he was an army soldier in the costume. That's what that's in reference to later, but not having seen that part, we had no context for it in season five, because that think it's in season three, and we didn't get to that until almost a year later. Back to the story. Was that fun for you? It was fun for me. Okay, so we're doing from Jet's perspective now. Pain pulled Jet from unconsciousness, moaning at the brutal pounding in his head. He blinked his eyes open with the irritation and frown and confusion at the scene around him. He was seated upright in semi-darkness with just the lit screens and a bunch of lighted buttons on the instrument panel and center console to see by. It was enough for him to recognize that he was in the cockpit of a plane. Y'all, I'm only six pages into this damn book, and we're already at like I think 20 minutes almost. So I'm gonna break these episodes up, and then when I'm done with the book, I'll release a master episode. You might be 10, might be 12 hours. I don't know. But let's continue. And well, before we do, let me look at the page count on this book. It ends on 356, so I have 350 more pages to go through. Right, he thought a little fuzzily. Oh. Right, comma. He thought a little fuzzily working, flying a bunch of the sheep hires from Europe back to Canada. The sheep hires. Now that's an interesting way. Yeah, see, it's what I told you. Is he's gonna be like, oh no, you're so hot, and but you're a vampire, so there's no way that I could possibly ever fall in love with you, even though I'm conflicted and my shirts open, and look at my abs, and you know, you're totally attracted to the blood pumping into my veins, but you want me more sexually than than for my blood and anyways, let's let's move on. They weren't flying now, though, he noted. At least the hum of the engine was missing, had they landed. Why did his head hurt? Christ, he must have fallen asleep on Miller and Well Jet's thoughts died as he instinctively turned to look at the older man he'd agreed to co-pilot for on this flight. Jeff Miller was a good twenty years older than him, a damned fine man and an excellent pilot. He had mentored Jet when he first started with Arginoa Enterprises more than four years ago. Jeff Miller was someone Jet respected and looked up to. He was also presently being attacked by one of the sheepers. Oh, that's an interesting way of going about it. Get away from him, leave him alone, Jet barked, grabbing the creature's arm to jerk her away from where she was bent over his friend and co-worker. The woman straightened and swung toward him at once, and Jet gaped when he recognized her. He'd been told they were shuttling some Russian princess type and her four body bodyguards, as well as one American immortal to Toronto, but had been doing the pre-flight checks when the women aborted. Miller had been one of the the one to greet them. Jet hadn't realized that Quinn Peters was the American. Now his gaze slid over her pale face and petite figure. Oh, so they probably have a prior association if he knows immediately who Quinn Peters is. Maybe they were lovers before she became a vampire. I don't know. Jet had the first oh well, it's gonna tell us. Jet had first met the immortal one on on one of his first flights when he was called out to collect her. Okay. Marguerite M A R G U E R I T E. It's a name. I want to say Marguerite, but I don't Marguerite, maybe? I don't know. Marguerite? I don't know if it's a word. A woman's name or a man's name? Arginone and Julius Note from Albany, New York, and then fly back to Toronto. Six months later he'd flown Quinn to Italy to live with her sister and son. He hadn't encountered her since. So these are probably early book stuff. And looked over her now, taking in the changes time had wrought in her. Well it they weren't physical. Changes. She's an immortal. What are you talking about, changes? The beautiful Asian woman her she named she's an Asian woman named Quinn Peters. That's not unheard of. I'm not criticizing that. I'm just I didn't expect her to be Asian based off of that name. The beautiful Asian woman looked as much as um bah. Bloody hell, let's start over. The beautiful Asian woman looked much as she had the first time he'd seen her. She was still small everywhere. That's obvious. Dig at her breast in her ass. Small nose, small patty lips, small face with wide cheekbones. She didn't stand out or didn't stand more than five foot two, though he suspected she was closer to five feet. It's about the same size as my grandma, honestly. Uh actually I think my grandma was four nine, but she was an Asian that I know of. I mean I didn't meet her until she was much older in life. But my dad's not Asian, so I'm fairly certain Frankie wasn't an Asian. But her name was Frankie, just like Quinn's name is Quinn, so I don't know. Maybe I'm part Asian. Wouldn't that be weird? Well, we always thought we had Native American blood on my grandpa's side. Well, he claimed that, but it turns out we didn't. But maybe I'm part Asian, and I don't know. Maybe it goes back to Genghis Khan's lineage of fucking half of the entire, you know, world. Am I a descendant of Genghis Khan? It's not relevant. It doesn't matter though, I'm gonna still think about that. Small everywhere, small nose, small pouty lips, small face with wide cheekbones. She didn't stand more than five foot two, though he suspected she was closer to five feet, and she was still so slender he had the urge to take her out somewhere and feed her. Everything about her was small, except her eyes. Those were huge and deep dark brown that was almost black, speckled with the silver flecks that gave away her status as an immortal. So she's got vampire eyes. She's an Asian woman with silver fleck brown vampire eyes, and he's like, Oh, that's one of her defining features, and those silver flecks just make her even hotter. Though she's small and petite and could totally kill me, and I'm standing at like six foot five with rippling abs. I think I could make this work, even though I'm conflicted. The only thing that had changed about her in the four years since he had first seen her was that her straight dark hair had grown out and now reached past her shoulders. Otherwise she appeared much the same, at least physically. But the woman he'd met the first time had been in a bad way, her eyes bruised and caught between grief and horror as Marguerite had urged her onto the plane and seen her seated. Quinn hadn't even seemed to be aware of where she was or who she or who was with her. She'd appeared locked in some kind of semi-catatonic state. Six months later she'd been more aware, but nearly as quiet, responding to his welcoming her aboard with haunted eyes and the polite smile that had seemed sad to him. So she probably was just first turned as a vampire back then. And then six months later she's starting to come to terms with it. She was much more alert and sharp now as she turned from Miller to scowl at him for grabbing her so roughly. That expression passed quickly, though, superseded by an almost professional expression as she took him in. How do you feel? she asked in a mild tone, removing his hand from her elbow and clasping his wrist as she looked into the first one into what? Into first one of his eyes and then the other. Why don't you just look at his eyes at the same time? Are you like doing the doctor eye check? You're like, oh, of course she is. Yeah, she's checking in to see if he's got a concussion because he's not immortal, so she's like prying open his eyes and probably putting light in there or using her enhanced silver flect, beautiful uh anime vampire eyes to kind of see more detail if he's suffering from a concussion. This is probably all gonna be revealed in the next paragraph. You were unconscious when I entered. It was hypoxia. Or was it hypoxia, or did you just hit your head when we crashed? Jet's eyes widened at the use of a medical term for oxygen deficiency, but then he recalled that she was a surgeon or had been in a previous life. Is he amazed that a petite Asian vampire woman would know a term like hypoxia? That that's fairly common for what I deal with. Like, you know, vocabulary. Not liking Jet already. And I'm looking at the cover again with his rippling abs underneath the coat, and it's just uh he looks like a really buff version of Jeff Goldblum from like the late 80s, but not as sexy. Jeff Goldblum was much better looking. So I don't remember where I was. Before we'd been attacked and turned in, or before she'd been attacked and turned into an immortal by her crazed husband after the same thing had happened to him. Okay. So her husband got bit and then turned on her and bit her, and I guess the husband got killed or something. I'm assuming she's not still with him. Jet had learned that from other immortal passengers he'd flown around. Jeff had learned that from other immortal passengers he'd flown around. Enforcers, the vampire version of cops, were surprisingly chatty on his flights. Part of it was because many of them considered him a friend, but he suspected another part was a natural need to unwind and work through what they'd experienced on their missions. A lot of them did that by rehashing what had happened, and he was considered a trustworthy person to talk to despite being mortal himself. You didn't fly for Arjuno Enterprises if you weren't deemed trustworthy, which I'm assuming Argino Enterprises is like a vampire type business. Not really sure on that. It is, it does say an Arginot novel, so I'm assuming it's like the entire coven of vampires is the Arjuno sect or whatever. Pretty much everyone Jet flew around for Arginot Enterprises was an immortal, which, according to the special training he'd been giving when he first started flying for the company, was a more scientific breed of what was basically a vampire to his mind. A more scientific breed. Okay. I d I don't get what that means, but alright. Oh, it's gonna explain it. Good. I like it when things explain stuff. Although they disliked being called that. He supposed he couldn't blame them. Vampires were dead in Solus, these people were not. They were humans who had been infected with bioengineered nanos. Oh god. Nanomachines, are we gonna do a Metal Gear Solid 4 thing again? Like, that was the biggest problem I had with Metal Gear Solid 4, was like the entire plot boiled down to nanomachines going amuck. Like 3 Snake Eater was the absolute best Metal Gear Solid out of the entire series because it was what a James Bond movie should be, but from an American perspective, with um Snake, basically who became big boss later having to um deal with uh covert infiltration against the Russians in, I believe it was Kazakhstan on the Kazaki border with the jungles, and then Volgan, who was one of the Russians who went AWOL with his own group, um, ended up using one of the Fat Man launchers to set off a nuke, which caused an international incident. Uh, it's a whole big thing. If you ever have a chance to play Metal Gear Solid 3 Snake Eater, it is the best of Kojima's games, and it is fantastic, and it plays out like a really well-written 1960s spy thriller, like a very good James Bond movie. So I don't remember where the hell I was. Something about nanobots. Um okay. They were humans who had been infected with bioengineered nanos that had been created to fight disease and repair injuries from the inside of the body. Unfortunately, those nanos used blood to propel themselves as well to do their work. More blood than the human body could produce. So basically, they're balloons at this point. They need all that extra blood, which caused a need, yeah, okay, which caused the need for taking in blood from an outside source. The nanos had altered their host to ensure they could get that blood, giving them increased strength speed and even night vision, as well as fings to make them the perfect predator. Are you serious? These are these are science vampires. That's really stupid. Bioengineered nano nanos turning them into immortal blood machines that need extra blood to run all the blood bots that have blood for the blood and the blood, and you don't even get the blood for the blood god or skulls for the skull thrown at this point. They're not even like Dramora from the Elder Scrolls, where they made deals with Molak Ball to become vampires. They're just science freaks, and I don't even the Adeptus Mechanicus would do that because they would deem it too stupid. You know? If you haven't figured out yet, I'm very much into Um The Elder Scrolls and Mel Gear Solid and Warhammer 40k. And then, just to give them an edge in that category, the nanos have given them the ability to read and control their prey to well, what? To read and control their prey to. So they're psychic vampires. They're nanomachines, or they're powered by nanomachines, so basically they're scientific blood-powered nanomachine infested psychic vampires that can control people. What the fuck? I don't like that. So dot dot dot, and that's what it says. Vampires. Not just dead ones, and fortunately, they retained whatever conscience they'd had before the turn. That being the case, most stuck to the bag blood from blood banks rather than feeding off the hoof, as they're kinda like to call it. Those immortals who didn't were considered rogue and hunted by others. Yeah, I'm not very fond of Twilight. It's okay, but I don't like sparkly vampires. But a fellow Mormon, because I was raised Mormon, I'm no longer Mormon, but a fellow Mormon, Stephanie Meyer, wrote better vampire lore than this when she really fucked it over with like the Native American shit, too, and God. I appreciate that the book seems to think I have no prior knowledge of this world because it's right. I'm wondering if it's like the same explanations for every book, just in case a dumbass like me pops into the middle of the series. But that's one of the dumbest explanations for vampirism I've ever heard. Why would you I don't even like it? I'm only nine pages in, but it probably would have been better served to come out for my reveal sake at like page 350 instead of page eight and nine. I don't like it. I think it's a dumb take on vampires. Let's see what they do with it. Did you pass out from lack of oxygen or from a blow to the head? Quinn asked, apparently assuming he hadn't understood what hypoxia was. No, he's just amazed that a petite Asian vampire a petite Asian scientific psychic vampire woman who needs extra blood because of the nano fucking bots cannot fucking operate without the extra fucking fucking hell. Fuck this. What hypoxia was. She was talk taking his pulse and checking his eyes for signs of whatever doctors looked for in cases like this. He realized and she and she'd had her fingers, not her fangs, pressed to Miller's throat when he jerked her around. When he jerked her around. When Jet jerked her around. Jerked. That's a funny word. He'd seen that before he'd recognized her. Jet was just about to explain that he understood what hypoxia was and tell her that along with altitude awareness Oh, tell her that it, comma, along with altitude and awareness were standard training for pilots when she spoke again. Mr her gaze dropped to his nameplate, Lassiter, she said, reading his last name. Do you recall what happened? I wonder if she remembers him. Obviously she's his type, even though he won't admit it, and so that's why she stuck out so much to him. But she probably does not have any memory of him. Something hit me in the back of the head, he muttered, his voice surprisingly raspy. Well, maybe I could do a little bit more raspy voice voice on there. Something hit me in the back of the head. Oh just look at my open shirt, my ripple nabs he muttered the that last part, anyways. He muttered uh his voice surprisingly raspy, knocked me out, and I missed the landing. Jet glanced around as he admitted that his as he oh fucking hell. Jet gr glanced bitch cannot read for a damn for the moment. Jet glanced around as he had he at Oh Lord, come on. Jet glanced around as he admitted that there's a comma, his gaze sliding over the darkness beyond the front windshield. It was full night outside the cabin, so there wasn't much he could see. The dim glow cast by the instrument panel didn't reach beyond the cockpit's windscreen. But what it had revealed inside was enough to alarm him. The windshield had shattered but remained intact on his side, leaving spider webs of cracks. But the glass on Miller's side was mostly gone and the windshield frame itself had been pushed inward as had the instrument panel and the metal around it. Wonder if Miller is even alive. Jet's gaze followed the crushed and compressed metal to where it seemed to almost have swallowed a good portion of Jeff Miller. His legs and lower body appeared to disappear into the metal. He's gonna be made into a fucking vampire. He's gonna be made into a scientific psychic blood balloon vampire. And then he's gonna have to deal with the bloodlust that he feels, and he's gonna look at Jet and be like, oh, your rippling abs are great, but I just want what's in your neck because my nanobots require it. What the fuck? Why does it have to be nanobots? Lindsay Sands? Why? His legs and lower body appeared to disappear into the metal, which looked to be cutting into his chest. Jet lifted his gaze to the man's face and then closed his eyes when he saw the grey cast to it. Miller was a mortal like him, or had been. He's dead. Okay, so thank God he spared me from becoming a fucking scientific vampire. Yes, Quinn said quietly, and then added, he probably died instantly. Jet's mouth tightened. He knew she was trying to comfort him, but nothing was going to do that. Miller had been a good friend. Ten minutes ago they'd been chatting and laughing as Miller told him of his teenage daughter's latest antics. Oh great, so now he's got a daughter that he's leaving behind. Probably two divorced wives too. I don't know. Now he was dead and that the daughter was fatherless. You got a bump, but there's no abrasion. Jet blinked at the announcement, realizing only then that she'd released his wrist and was now examining his head. Her fingers moving gently through his short hair. I'm fine, he growled, quickly undoing his seatbelt and standing up to avoid her touch. A curse slid from his lips when the word immediately seemed to swing around him and he was supposed to grab his seat back. He was supposed to grab a seat back to steady himself. Instead of a seat, he ended up latching onto Quinn's arm. While she stiffened, she didn't shrug him off, but he covered his hand with her own and cautioned. Oh, let me try that again. While she stiffened, she didn't cover she didn't shrug him off, but covered his hand with her own and cautioned. Just take it slow, you've had a shock. You'll be cold, clammy, lightheaded, and shaky. Just take deep breaths and put this on. You're shivering. I mean there's dot dot dots. It pauses. Jet blinked open his eyes and hadn't realized he'd closed. Huh? Jet blinked. Okay. That's established. He opens his eyes. He hadn't realized he'd closed to see. Oh. Jet okay, okay. The sentence structure is fucking weird again, guys. Jet blinked, opened his eyes. This is so like a run-on thing. There should be jet blinked, comma, opened his eyes. He hadn't realized he'd closed. And then there should be another thought, but it's not. It's all run together. Jet blinked, opened eyes. He hadn't realized he'd closed to see that she was holding out his aviator jacket, the one from the cover, you know, the bomber jacket. Though he wasn't sure where she'd gotten it, she got it from the hunk store. He removed it earlier, yet, see, and set it over the back of his seat before buckling in for the flight. Dude, if you removed your goddamn jacket and put it over the back of your goddamn seat, but then she's handing you your jacket even though you were just in a plane crash, and he doesn't understand where the hell she got the jacket from. She got the jacket from the back of your seat, Jet. I know you just hit your head, and you're seeing a wonderful, blue, beautiful, petite, scientific, psychic, blood balloon vampire looking at you, one that you've been attracted to secretly for a very long time, but you're wondering where the fuck she got your jacket from and where she knows the term hypoxia. What the fuck, man? This is the quality of the guys that we're writing about in these fucking fantasy uh romance shit. These guys are fucking idiots. But he doubted it had still been there after the crash. Maybe I should have read that line. Nah, fuck Jet. He's an idiot. He probably just flipped off the back of the seat and was still in the cabin. Where did she get the jacket from? Anyways, muttering a thank you, he took the leather coat and tugged it on as he sucked in deep drafts of air. Those breaths caught uh those breaths caused a twinge of pain in his chest, but he continued anyway. Jet knew all about shock. This wasn't the first time he'd experienced it. Life had gotten hairy on more than one occasion while flying fighter jets for the fucking Navy. Of course he's a fucking maverick. He's a fucking goddamn Navy fighter pilot. Probably served in some goddamn war. I don't know when this is supposed to take place. Probably got into some hairy situations and got shot at, or maybe got blown up by a missile, or maybe um got knocked out over Bosnia or some shit. I don't know. Fuck Jet. Don't like this guy. Don't like her, don't like the vampires, don't like Jet. Well, Quinn's alright. She hasn't really annoyed me yet. Um a completely different experience than his position with the Art with Arginou Enterprises, a large umbrella corporation with several companies under it. The company was large enough that it had its own collection of planes and pilots to fly as executives and other individuals around the globe. It was a job every civilian in the pilot business dreamed of getting. Well-paid cushy with all sorts of extra perks to make up for the fact that you were flying vampires around. So does everybody who applies there know it's a vampire front? I would assume not. I don't think there it's in like true blood where the vampires are out in the open yet. And the true blood vampires are good vampires, man. That's a good way to do the lore of the vampires. You never really explain it. Yeah, you know, they're here, um, blood, you know, transfusions and everything, and then three days in the dirt, and you come out as a vampire where you can get wildly sexually high off of a vampire blood V that has been outlawed as a drug, but a lot of vampires are making money selling it on the sides, but you never go into in depth explaining the lore. But in this, in the first fucking ten pages, it explained to me everything I needed to know about why the vampires existed from a guy who had a fucking concussion in the middle of a plane that was crashed when he saw his. Asian waifu vampire show up again. And it gave me the most stupid explanation for vampires I've fucking heard yet. Frustrating. Okay. It goes on to explain something in a second. Not that the pilots applying so eagerly for a job with Argidu Enterprises knew that was part of the job. I'm not going to take back anything I said. To the rest of the world there was no such thing as vampires, but any pilot who flew them around found out otherwise. It was information the pilots needed for their own safety as well as that of their clients in case of situations like the one they were presently in, he acknowledged, and started to consider what had to what had to be done now. He needed to call in an SOS and distribute the blood they carried to any injured immortals on board. Well, too fucking bad. It's all on the fucking carpet. I'm gonna make a lesbian joke. Let them munch on that carpet, whatever. The thought made his mouth tighten with dis distaste. The whole blood sucking business was one part of the job Jad occasionally still struggled with. Okay. Let's talk for a second. This guy's been flying around vampires for quite a while. Presumably four-ish years plus. His childhood friend. Does it say childhood friend? I don't know if it's childhood friend. Yeah, his friend since childhood. Abigail became one five years ago, so he probably learned of the existence of vampires then. He's been doing this job now, post-Navy, for four fucking years. And he still has issues with the blood part of everything. But it's probably donated blood. It's probably not harvested from anything because of what was said earlier in context about how the people who don't take it from the blood packs and who actively seek prey are hunted by the other enforcer vampires of the Arginal Enterprises. And he has an issue with it because of the blood. This guy's fucking pissing me off. Fuck you, dude. She'd been turned to save her life, but she was now a lifemate for and happily married to an immortal who was more than a century old. Despite that, she was still the same old abs he'd always known and loved. Yeah, talking about abs and looking the fucking cover. See your fucking abs. Dick. That had to mean something, didn't it? So while his instinctual reaction to the business of immortals. Wait, what the fuck? The vampire that's more than a century old? But these are fucking nanobots. Nanobots wouldn't have existed until recently. I don't know when this story is supposed to take place. Presumably it's set in a modern context or within the past 30 years. But there's vampires that are hundreds of years old, which means there's got to be another way for vampires to exist if they're that old, because somebody had to turn him over well, not over 100 years old, because it's probably including his human lifespan in that hundred years in that century. Somebody had to turn him before the invention of nanobots. So why the fuck are nanobot vampires a thing in this universe? When you have most likely legitimate real vampires. It's like in Battlestar Galactica, the humans in the Cylons. Except nothing like that at all. Okay. I'm not even gonna go there because if I do, we're gonna be talking about or I'm gonna be talking about that for a while, and then you'll you'll get to hear my rant on how attractive Lucy Lawless looks as one of the Cylons. So let's let's save that for something else. I love Lucy Lawless, man. She's amazing. Absolutely gorgeous, too. Where the fuck was I? Uh he's more than a century old despite that. Same old abs. Um that had to mean something, didn't it? So while his instinctual reaction to this business of immortals had been fear and repulsion based on the old horror movies about vampires he'd grown up on, which is pretty much what immortals were no matter what they like to call themselves, Abigail had made him this had what had made him had Abigail had made him decide to give them a chance. Fucking weird sentence structure again. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just reading it wrong, but to me it just doesn't sound right when I read it like that. She couldn't be a monster and be the same caring, loving woman he'd always known. Are you sure about that? Okay, I don't agree there, but at least that's what he told himself, and while he'd mostly come to the conclusion that this was true, some small part of his brain still struggled with it a little. How about the rest of the passengers? You know, because he still grew up, you know. We're only on page twelve. He asked after a couple more breaths, but the question was more out of politeness than any real concern. Yeah, he doesn't give a fuck about the rest of them. Only his, you know, scientific, psychic, animal bot Asian vampire waifu. Quinn 'cause they're gonna end up together. The fucking back of the book told me that. So fuck. Quinn looked completely unharmed and he had no doubt the others were fine too. It seemed obvious that the cockpit was had taken the worst of the damage. Besides, like herself, is he gonna become one of these fuckers? I hope not. Besides, like herself, the other passengers were all immortal and therefore hard to kill. So he wasn't really listening when she answered. We lost three of the women. Miss Sarka and her bodyguard Lilia went out to look for them. Good, good, and Jet murder muttered, and then blinked as her words sink in. Turning on her sharply, he wraps, What do you mean we lost three of the women? The side of the plane opened up and they, their seats and part of the floor were suddenly gone, she explained solemnly. Solemnly. What? he gasped with disbelief, and then stumbled past her to open the door of the cockpit. What the fuck is he caring about now? Dude Fuck you. Fucking jet dick. He had to pass through the small galley to get to the passenger section, but he could see the great gaping hole before he had. Okay, so he can see the hole before he went past the passenger section. To get to the passenger section. What the fuck, man? I don't God, whatever. The whole right side of the plane was gone from a couple feet into the passenger section to just before the last pair of seats on that side. Alright. So the wing so was the wing he saw, looking through the opening into the dark woods outside. Jet had never seen anything like it and shook his head with horror and dismay. That's because an assassin probably planted something that would do that. I wonder if it was like a Ginzu missile, which are the um hellfire missiles which actually have blades that pop out and they're used in assassination by the US. On high value targets where they don't want a lot of collateral, so they can quite literally fire a missile at you, which pops out blades and can cut you into several pieces by going through you with the blades, but keeping um casualties to a minimum. It kind of sounds like the damage might be something like that, which you know it doesn't make any sense because it's a fucking plane. If you're gonna try to kill Quinn, then you're probably gonna try to blow up everybody else in the plane because they're associated with Argentina Enterprises, unless it's some type of inside job. But the the is it called the Ginsu missile after the Ginsu knives? I don't know. Maybe I just associated that with them. But the it's a legitimate missile that has been used in assassination attacks before, and basically um it's non-explosive, so it keeps uh casualties like residual casualties um to a minimum. You're pretty much only going after the targets you're hitting and not destroying everybody else, which is great. I mean, if we're gonna do um precision strikes against people like that, I would prefer we don't take out an entire fucking hospital or wedding party to get to them. What? Got lost in my own goddamn train of thought. Hmm. Um, okay. He'd seen, you know, it didn't look like anything he'd ever seen before, so he shook his head with horror and dismay. Miller was just coming back from using the restroom when there was some kind of popping sound outside. He murmured more to himself than to Quinn. We lost both engines, and the air pressure went. With the cockpit door open, all sorts of shit started flying around. I there's no fucking way you're telling her this, dude. This is not dialogue people actually have in situations like this. This Oh what the fuck, Lindsay? People don't talk like this when they just got fucking concussed. I don't know if he's concussed. Oh shit. When I finally write my book, I need to avoid shit like this at all costs. It just does not sound right at all to just give these lengthy explanations immediately without having them kinda come out organically through conversation. It's like something happens and then they pause and look directly at the fourth wall and explain all this shit before going back to what they were doing, which was fine in the first Deadpool, but by Deadpool 2 it got really fucking annoying. By Deadpool 3, I wanted to kill myself because I was like, this is no longer fucking fun. It's a slog and I hate it. And this is the same type of this fucking writing here, where when you're throwing all this explanation out immediately, you're just telling, don't tell show. Have them think back to it, have them think shit, you know, um reliving the events later, you know, in a little bit or something, and and that's showing it. Right now, he's just basically dumping a bunch of exposition exposition that we don't fucking need at this point. It's not relative to the story yet. You just come out through organic fucking means. This is also why I want a physical copy in my hand so I can keep slapping the book out of my dismay. I didn't think I was gonna be pissed off by a goddamn book that's called Mile High with a Vampire this goddamn much. Only 13 pages in. Fuck. I remember Jeff shouting and rushing to a seat, and then something hit me in the back of the head, and dot dot dot. He took his head helplessly. He shook his head helplessly. The blow had knocked him out. Miller had been left to handle the crisis on his own. Jet's mouth watered, um Jet's watered. What? That's no fucking watering. Jethro. Fucking hell. See, and then that's an insult to Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies, because he was an idiot, but he was a competent idiot, and he was funny. Jet's just a fucking moron. Jet's mouth tightened unhap unhappily. Whatever. Miller had a rep as a flying ace. Oh, okay. So Miller's a fucking war hero who shot down five guys. You know who the last person who shot down five fucking people were in war? I think it was in Vietnam. So was Miller from fucking Vietnam? Because it sure as hell didn't happen in Desert Storm or Operation Iraqi Freedom or in the current issues that we're having with Iran. Like becoming a fighter ace is extremely difficult. And are you gonna give me more context to this or you just gonna fucking annoy me? It was how he got the job at Arjuno Enterprises. This landing proved he deserved the rep M position. Okay. He got them down relatively intact. That being the case, it was damned unfair he hadn't survived the landing himself. He looks up to him as a mentor. I don't know what the time frame of the story taking place is. I'm assuming he was a Vietnam War ace. But even then, dude, he he's gotta be real old, like late 60s, early 70s, if that's the case. Unless there was some made-up fucking war which he became an ace in. And was he a navy pilot? I don't know. It doesn't fucking matter. They're coming, Quinn said suddenly, slipping past him and moving to the gaping darkness where the wall used to be. Jet peered from her to the opening with confusion. He hadn't heard anything, but wasn't terribly surprised when two blondes, one petite like Quinn and one who could have passed for an Amazon, appeared out of the darkness and leapt up into the plane. Kirkasarka sorry, Kira Sarka. Kirkisarka would have been a better melodic name. Anyways. Kira Sarka and her bodyguard Lilia. Wait, what the fuck? Oh, okay. So they appeared out of the darkness and leapt up into the plane. And then it just names them Kira Sarka and her bodyguard Lilia. But I was expecting them to do some type of action. Jet had been their pilot many times. Kira, the larger woman, glanced from Quinn to Jet and then arched an eyebrow. Where is Captain Miller? She's gonna be a very masculine Russian, fuck you. He didn't make it, Quinn said quietly. Regret and resignation crossed the woman's face. Ishame, he was good man, fly me often, she said somberly, and then shook her head and turned toward the yawning knight outside the cabin. We go. I don't like the writing for the fucking Russian accent. So I do uh Eastern European accent. I used to speak fairly good Russian um like 23 years ago, but after the 2002 Olympics, I stopped using it and I forgot the majority of it, and I learned a lot of it in school. I had like two and a half years of Russian, had a wonderful teacher, Susan Orsinovna, who taught me how to say things properly with the accent, but also taught me the right conjugation and everything, and I don't remember the majority of it, sadly. I probably should have kept with it. Um my dad was the one who had the linguistic ability in the family, and my brother-in-law definitely still does with Japanese, which is fucking awesome. But I didn't retain my Russian. But I do an accent based off of that, and I claim I'm Slovetsian, um, because Slovetsia is the country in Beautician and the Beast, which is a fictional Eastern European country, but nobody knows that. And if they Google Slovetsia, it will come up with that. But that's actually a really good movie. But I do a Russian accent the way that or an Eastern European accent, and the way that I'm talking in this is not the way that she's writing it, and I do not like how she's writing these people with their dialogue, especially if they are immortal vampires. It is really stupid for Kira to go he what is Ish Isham Isham. Yes, I understand that Russian for a language does not have a lot of these uh other extra words that English or other languages do, but it sounds very dumb to me to be reading Ishim, he was good man, fly me often. She said somberly, then shook her head and turned toward the yawning outside of the cabin. We go. It reads like someone who has no understanding of how the language is put together, watched a couple movies and decided that's how they're going to write Ira. I don't like it. But anyways, we're gonna go back into American. Quinn seemed surprised at the announcement, as Jet seemed just as surprised at the announcement as Jet was, but started to follow the woman without comment. Jet was less easily led. Just a damn minute. Oh sorry, he's gruff. Just a damn minute, he protested, grabbing Quinn's arm to stop her. We need to call this in so they'll send help. We tried the smaller blonde, Lilia told him. Our cells get no signal out here. I'm assuming she's Russian, but I can't be fucked to give a fuck. Jet frowned at that but said, Then the smartest move is to wait here where the ELT is, and there's at least some protection from the animals and elements. I don't know what an ELT is, but they're gonna explain it, so ELT? Kira asked with interest. Emergency Emergency Locator Transmitter, he explained. And then realized he probably meant that meant nothing to her and added, It's an emergency alert installed in most planes. The signal will lead rescuers to us. If she's halfway fucking intelligent, just from the name Emergency Locator Transmitter, well tell her what you need to know. You do not need to explain further unless she asks. This guy is really annoying the fuck out of me because he thinks an Asian fucking psychic vampire robot bitch doesn't know what hypoxia means hypoxia is a very big word for her to use. And now he's just like, oh well, this Russian bitch has no idea what the ELT is. Well, I didn't know what a fucking ELT is, but as soon as you told me the name, it's a logical step to kind of figure out what the fuck it does, because it says it does exactly what it says on the 10. Fuck you, Jet. When? When what? Jet asked with uncertainty. When will rescuers get here? I don't know, he said with irritation. Maybe a couple hours, maybe tomorrow. You do not have ours, Kira assured him solemnly. It's a lot of solemnys go solemn solemnlies. There's a lot of that word going on. Fuck. I think that's like the third or fourth time it's come up in like fifteen pages. He scowled but then suddenly narrowed his eyes and asked, Where are the other three women? Didn't you find them? The we find, Kira said, with her fucking retarded way of speaking. Her mouth flattening amazing or what? Her mouth flatteningly f uh what flattening grimly. She just fucking frowns. Fuck you, Lindsay. They aren't dead, he asked with amazement, because that seemed the only reason the women might return without their comrades. Had they somehow been That's how it says. Had they somehow been beheaded when they were ripped from the plane, or had the engine attached to the wing of the plane that had ripped away exploded and burst into flame, burning them up? From what he understood, those are the only two ways to kill an immortal. What about a fucking EMP so all the nanobots stop fucking working? What about electricity being hit by lightning? I'm pretty sure that's gonna fry the fucking robots. Oh no, they're shielded, but they need blood to operate. Fuck you. Not dead. Well, we should go get 'em and bring them back here, Jet said, moving to the edge of what remained of the floor. Nyet, Kir said sharply, stepping into his path. They're all three injured and unconscious, Lily said quietly. Marta and Nika are in a tree, still trapped to their se still strapped to their seats. Annika is on the ground, but her seat is mangled and the armrest crushed around her. Jet winced, thinking that had to hurt, but said, All the more reason to bring them back here and let them tear you to pieces, Kerr interrupted with that dry suggestion. Jet's eyes widened incredulously. What? If you're a robotic vampire, why do you have bloodlust? You don't you need the blood for the robots to function, but it's not like you need it for your own systems to function. Just the fucking robots. I can tell this is gonna be a very good podcast going from this point forward. I have one page left for today. I'm just about an hour or over an hour with the pause edits. This has been very frustrating in a good way. And this is the type of way I would like to conduct the podcast from now on. Because it's fun for me. And I'm hoping it's been fun for you too. So let's finish with this page. Their wounds are bad, Lilia explained. They are unconscious, all of them right now, but when they wake up, it will not take long to free themselves from their seats. We need to get you far away before that to keep you safe. Because the way she's written t dialogue-wise, she's not fucking Russian. Or if she is, she has a very good commanding of English. When he stared at her blankly, she added, When they wake up, they will be desperate for blood. We carry blood, Jet said, turning to hurry back to the galley, but his footsteps slowed as he neared the area and noted the open refrigerator door and the blood covering the floor and walls. It must have burst open during the day. Crash spilling its contents. The blood bags hadn't survived the turbulent landing. Yes, Jet, we fucking know. Quinn already made that observation, Lindsay. You don't have to have Jet confirm the observation in the exact same type of verbiage that Quinn did. You could just have him look and see the mess and go, Oh, we don't need an iteration of it only a few pages after you already told us what the fuck happened. God damn. I don't know. Maybe this book's gonna be good. Maybe I'm gonna recommend this book in the end. But the first chapter, not so much so far. Sandy Mitchell, the writer of the Kuipus Kane books, does some excellent fucking dialogue work for 40k. Kaipus Kane is one of my all-time favorite characters. He's absolutely fucking hilarious, and it's all written mostly as a first-person journal uh recounting the events that happened, except for one of the inquisitors who's kind of compiling it in universe named Amberly Bell will interject from time to time and give footnotes and everything. That is a good way of writing. The way everything is done is awesome. But this is fucking annoying because she'll say something and then like a couple pages later, another character will say the exact same fucking thing. You don't need to do that. Maybe that's why the book's 350 pages, because you're it's full of shit like this. It would have not been enough anyway, if their injuries are as bad as I suspect. I'm assuming this is Liliana. Jet stiffened at that calm voice from behind him. No, it's Quinn, and turned to find Quinn directly at his back with the Russians on her heels. None of them appeared surprised at the state of the galley, but then they probably noticed the problem earlier. Yes, they fucking knew it earlier because they walked Quinn walked through the fucking thing and the Russians were there, dude. Fuck. Oh why are you having fucking jet talk about this? Quinn came to find you in the cockpit. Of course she saw the shit. The Russians were talking to you as you came out of the cockpit. They're standing in the middle of the fucking blood mess, Jet. You're a fucking idiot. Fuck you. How are you a naval pilot for fuck's sakes with your observation skills being this poor? Shit does not need to be said again and again. But then they probably noticed the problem earlier, while he'd been too stunned at the missing sidewall and wing to notice the thick crimson liquid he traipsed through to get to the passenger section of the plane. Because he's not observant, and if you're a fucking naval pilot, you need to be hyper observant. He's focused on a hole and misses that he's trotting through all the spilled blood. But then goes, Oh, I wonder if they knew about this. But the they're fucking standing there with you in it, motherfucker. Fuck We go, Kara repeated firmly. The smell of blood oh, sorry, she's still talking. The smell of blood will draw them here, and only blood will find the the what? And the only blood they find is yours. Where are we gonna go? Jet asked with concern. Where we We were somewhere over the Great Clay Belt in Ontario when we lost engines. Oh, I think this is still him talking, so let me fuck that They split it up. They shouldn't have split it up. Let me start again. Where are we gonna go? Jet asked with concern. We were over we were somewhere over the Great Clay Belt in Ontario when we lost the engines. There are bears, moose, lynx, and fox out there. We you have fucking robot vampires, dude. Are you seriously fucking concerned about all this shit? You're a fucking naval pilot, supposedly. I'm starting to very much question that. You were trained in survival. You had to have been trained in survival. You had to be trained in and and and understanding these fucking things. It's not a mystery. You voicing concern about them is okay. I'm not objecting to that. What I'm objecting to is you have fucking basically insanely strong immortal robot bitches around you, and you're like, Well, what are we gonna do about all these things? It's like, motherfucker, they're not gonna be a concern at all for anyone because of what you've got around you. His words died as a long as agonizing shriek cut through the night air. Jet had never heard anything like it. It was a mix of agony and madness. He actually felt goosebumps rise up on his arms and the back of his neck as the sound was echoed by another. They're walking, Lilia pointed out with concern. The we go now, Kira announced, and the next moment Jet found himself hefted over the Amazon's shoulder and carried off the plane. Chapter two's gonna have to fucking wait, dude. Yes, I'm gonna write the materi read the material as it's written. Um, for the books that I will be covering too in the future. Any controversial subjects I'm not gonna censor. I'm also not going to censor my language because I think it's important to get my honest reaction to what I'm reading. And it also makes it pretty fun to listen to. So this is the format going forward. One chapter, we're over an hour. Maybe maybe chapter two will be shorter, maybe not. I don't know how many chapters this is, but if I could do like uh an hour to an hour and a half per episode, I think that would be great. And then at the very end, when the book's completely done, I'll compile them all into one long form episode. And so yeah, I'll be uploading everything um semi-consistently, but just keep checking back because storytime with Uncle Beanbag, I think, is already off to a great start. It's not really gonna go anywhere, and ultimately I would like to be able to gain enough support off of this to um make this a full-time job because I actually have a lot of fun doing this, and I'm hoping y'all like my tangents that I go on because I know a lot of shit about a lot of shit, and it's always fun to kind of like randomly connect stuff and just go off and talk about it for a while. So thank you for joining me for episode one of Storytime with Uncle Beanbag. Episode two will be chapter two of Mile High with a vampire, in which I'm expecting there's gonna be some crazy shenanigans as the people who are trapped sorry, the robot vampires who are trapped, are probably charming down on a moose or something. Or maybe some hikers, I don't know. Thanks for listening. I appreciate it.