Understanding Peace: How to Find Inner Calm, Reduce Anxiety & Regulate Your Nervous System | Let's Get Emotional

In this episode of Let's Get Emotional, hosts Tatiana Rojas and Dr. Jennifer Martin Schantz explore the powerful and often misunderstood emotion of peace. While many people think of peace as simply the absence of stress or conflict, this episode reveals how peace is actually a nervous system state rooted in safety, emotional regulation, acceptance, and inner calm.

If you've ever found yourself searching for more balance, less anxiety, or a quieter mind, this conversation offers practical insights into how peace develops in both the body and brain. The hosts explain the psychology and neuroscience of peace, including its connection to the parasympathetic nervous system, vagal tone, mindfulness, emotional wellbeing, and resilience.

You'll learn why peace feels different from happiness, how it shows up physically through slower breathing, reduced muscle tension, and decreased mental noise, and why creating a personalized "peace map" can help you access calm more consistently during stressful seasons of life.

Drawing from research, therapy practices, and real-world examples, Tatiana and Jennifer discuss how peace can be cultivated through mindfulness, self-compassion, healthy boundaries, meaningful relationships, nervous system regulation, and evidence-based therapeutic approaches including Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Compassion-Focused Therapy, and EMDR.

Whether you're struggling with anxiety, burnout, overwhelm, trauma recovery, ADHD, chronic stress, emotional exhaustion, or simply looking for greater emotional balance, this episode provides actionable tools to help you reconnect with a sense of safety, grounding, and inner peace.

In This Episode:

• What peace really is and why it differs from happiness
• The neuroscience of peace and the parasympathetic nervous system
• How peace supports emotional regulation and resilience
• Signs your body is experiencing peace and safety
• The role of vagal tone, mindfulness, and nervous system regulation
• How anxiety, ADHD, trauma, and stress can interfere with peace
• Common physical sensations associated with inner calm
• The connection between self-compassion and emotional wellbeing
• How therapy approaches like ACT, Compassion-Focused Therapy, and EMDR support peace
• Creating your own personalized Peace Map
• Identifying people, places, routines, and activities that help you feel safe
• Practical strategies for reducing mental noise and inner conflict
• Daily habits that support lasting emotional wellness and stress reduction

Links & Resources:

Tatiana Rojas - https://getherapyservices.com/

Let's Get Emotional is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not therapy and does not replace mental health care. If you are in crisis or need immediate support, please contact your local emergency services or a crisis hotline in your area.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Where do you find peace in your mind and how does that show up for you? Is it through quietness? Through music? Prayer? How does your mind experience peace? Peace becomes easier to access when you know what actually creates it for you. Hello and welcome back. Sometimes the hardest part isn't feeling the emotion, it's finding words for it. We give a simple answer when the real answer may in fact be more complicated. So today we're gonna slow down and start with the basics: what emotions are, what feelings are, and why naming things clearly can be the first step toward feeling better. Let's get emotional is an educational podcast hosted by myself, Tatiana Rojas, and Dr.

SPEAKER_00 0:42

Jennifer Martin Schanz. Each episode focuses on one emotion, and today's emotion is peace. We break it down in a way that's clear, human, and practical so you can understand what's happening inside you and what to do with it. Our mission is simple. Help you understand what you're feeling, name it with more clarity, and respond in ways that support your life and your relationships.

SPEAKER_01 1:11

As a reminder, this podcast is for education and general information only. It isn't therapy and it doesn't replace mental health care. If you're in crisis or need immediate support, please contact your local emergency services or crisis hotline in your area. You can also reach out to 988 as well via phone or text. So a quick review.

SPEAKER_00 1:31

Right. So let's remind you of some definitions we've covered in previous episodes. The first definition is emotions. So emotions are quick automatic reactions that occur in the body and brain. They act as signals, often appearing before we can even describe them in words. These responses provide information. Your internal system's way of letting you know that something important is happening, such as maybe a concern about safety, connection, fairness, loss, threat, desire, or even meaning. Next is feelings. Feelings are your conscious experience of emotions. They are the words you use to name what's happening, plus the meaning you attach to it based on your history, culture, beliefs, and relationships. If an emotion is a body-based signal, a feeling is the label you put on it. Finally, we have moods. Moods are longer-lasting emotional states, more like emotional weather. You can be in an irritable mood, a low mood, or a tender mood for hours or days, sometimes even without one clear trigger. Emotions are the spark, feelings are the label, moods are the climate. Now, Tatiana, let's talk more about peace, the emotion of today's episode.

SPEAKER_01 3:08

Yes, let's get into it. So let's take a moment to talk about the definition. What is peace? Peace by definition is a state of tranquility or quiet, freedom from civil disturbance, a state of security or order within a community. It's freedom from being disturbed or bothered by people or noise. It's freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions. It's harmony in personal relations. It's to be, become, or keep silent or quiet. So peace is both a state of being, calmness and harmony, and a condition. No war, security, achieved through various means from inner reflection to external agreements. It is a calm, steady feeling of safety and ease when your body isn't bracing or racing and your mind, once again, isn't racy. So very simple. What do we have to say on the research end of everything?

SPEAKER_00 4:14

Yeah. So looking at research, the research defines peace specifically with inaffective science in that branch. And what they say is peace is not always labeled as this basic emotion like fear or anger. Instead, we often conceptualize peace as sort of this low arousal, positive, affective state where we have increased resilience. It's a form of calm contentment. It's a marker that our parasympathetic nervous system is dominating. And when we say parasympathetic nervous system, think peace. Connect those peas when we're talking about peace today. Um, a subjective experience of inner safety and acceptance. So peace differs from happiness because it's more enduring, right? It's longer lasting and it is less stimulating. There's less stimulation required. Why? Because our parasympathetic nervous system is activated. So often in clinical work, and because I'm a clinician, um, I think it's important to look at the definition that I use with peace with my clients, is that peace is sort of this, once again, this low arousal, positive emotional state that is characterized by that internal safety, reduced cognitive agitation, right? Our thoughts are more calm, that physiological regulation, we're able to control how our body feels, that acceptance of the present moment experience, we're able to stay sort of in that present moment. So peace really is a nervous system state. It doesn't require excitement or achievement, it often emerges, and we see this after we let go of could be someone, could be something. When we have forgiveness, when we have that radical acceptance, and also when we make meaning out of something. In looking at studies, specifically, how study participants describe peace is a felt sense of enoughness, absence of inner conflict, quiet clarity, this softening in the chest, less mental noise, time slowing down, other common now physiological, how our body feels. Research participants reported warmth, steady breathing, reduced muscle tension, reduced urgency, and decreased self-critical dialogue. So a key researcher, James Russell, his model is the circumflex model of affect. And his model is interesting because it organizes emotions along these two axes. So we have valence is one axis where we feel pleasant and unpleasant, and then arousal where we're activated, deactivated. So if we're looking at the emotion of peace, this falls into that positive valence or pleasant side and low arousal or deactivated, which leads us into our nervous system. So, right, I mentioned earlier that our parasympathetic nervous system is activated when we feel peace, and specifically looking at the vagal tone, and this refers to the activity level of our vagus nerve. And this is a key part of our parasympathetic nervous system. So, with increased vagal tones, meaning our body can efficiently shift into states of relaxation, recovery, and calm. Our heart rate is slowed down, we have improved digestion, greater emotional regulation, all of which support feelings of peace and safety. We also have reduced cortisol, meaning we're not stressed. And I already mentioned our heart rate. So, research also in psychophysiology, I have to mention Stephen Porgis' work and polyvagal theory. And this theory really teaches us about our ventral vagal system. And when it is active, we feel socially safe, right? Our muscles are relaxed, our breathing deepens, that facial expression softens, that subjective calm sort of emerges. Again, our parasympathetic nervous system is activated. We're feeling that peace within our body. Additional research shows peace linking to sort of that spiritual well-being and that spiritual side of us, a non-judgmental awareness of things, of people, our environment, and acceptance as well. And lastly, I really want to bring because we are therapists, um, and we we talk about peace in therapy and achieving sort of that parasympathetic nervous system peace quality, that some types of therapy that can help us feel more peaceful, you know, mindfulness training, compassion focus therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy. And lastly, EMDR, which is eye movement desensitization and reprocessing and post-processing integration with EMDR is a great way to achieve that sort of state of peace and have our nervous system very regulated. So I wanted to bring those things in. Tatiani, you have any experience with any of these therapies?

SPEAKER_01 10:52

Oh my goodness. Um, mindfulness training. I mean, how much can we talk about that across multiple theories as well? Um, but you brought up so many like just really important and I think key pieces, a lot of body-based right, kind of elements to this particular emotion. And one of the things that stood out to me is you were kind of sharing some of what the research studies have shown is right that absence of inner conflict and decreased self-critical dialogue. And I think those came from like two different places, but really speak to kind of, I think, what a lot of people are looking for when they say, I want, I want peace or I want to calm the thoughts. And I think we see, I mean, I see this come up time and time again, also in various diagnoses. So whether you're dealing with ADHD, anxiety, trauma, like the thoughts are just garbled, you know, and they're and sometimes people are like, I want, I want peace. And really, like part of that is I want these thoughts to kind of not be so heightened, consistent, strong, intense, where they don't pause or stop. And so hearing about some of these other forms of therapy or support that can be offered, the mindfulness-based work being a piece of that. So, yeah, lots of good stuff that you've brought up and mentioned today. Any other thoughts before we check in um on our next piece? No. Wonderful. So, yeah, this next piece, say it so they get it. You've already kind of shared some of these pieces. So, how might this show up at various stages in our lives? So, what my kids, teens, and adults be kind of sharing about this emotion of peace. Some kiddos might express this as my body feels quiet, I feel safe, I feel cozy. They might say in their body, um, their hands feel light, their body feels light, their belly feels good or soft, so not as much tension there. Um, a kiddo may say something along the lines of my brain feels quiet, or I feel okay inside, I don't feel rushed, and they may, in fact, experiencing it in their bodies as their faces relaxed, they also have a warm belly or warmness in their chest, their body feels loose. So, also, you know, the opposite of kind of like a ton of energy that I think we've previously talked about with other emotions. Yeah, so what might maybe a teenager kind of express or share or say might say if they've you know heard about what feeling grounded or center means, I feel grounded or centered, my mind finally slowed down, I'm not stressed, I feel okay in my body, it's quiet in my head. Um, and they may be experiencing some other sensations in their body, like their jaw is unclenched, it's not so tight, less tension and neck, shoulders, less fidgety or restless, um, their chest feels open, maybe they're not buzzing inside with energy like before. Things may slow down, or they may even be able to feel like they can process what's happening in the moment, being present in the moment, not feeling like they're on to the next thing so quickly. Also, same for adults. So, um, what might adults say or how might they experience it as well? Once again, always open to hearing how you experience this emotion. Um, if anyone wants to share, we would love to hear how you experience peace, but it may sound like I feel at ease, I feel settled and present. I'm not bracing for something or the next thing. I feel safe enough to exhale, I can breathe. Um, I feel centered. So what might we experience that in the body? I know, like we've already mentioned several things, but exhaling comes naturally, it's not forced. Muscles soften, heart rate steadies, thoughts are slow. You might have a grounded feeling in our feet and our legs, no tightness in the chest. The chest may feel more relaxed and at ease. Anything else that you can think of? We can tack on to that at this point. Anything else coming to mind?

SPEAKER_00 15:13

You know, for adults, you mentioned the breathing, and I think that that is super, super important. Also, you know, maybe a sense of safety. Um, so looking around the room, and you're gonna name things that are neutral, you're gonna name things that are sort of pleasant, and maybe something that signals like you feel safe. So, safety, I think, is important when we're talking about peace, just mentioning that.

SPEAKER_01 15:39

Yeah, I think that's actually a really important insight, right? Is is where do we feel safe? How do we feel safe? Is this a location? Is it a relationship? Is it through an activity? I mean, but it's important to kind of recognize and acknowledge. And actually, that kind of leads us into our mini tool and our takeaway for today. Um, we're gonna talk about a peace map. Um, because peace isn't a one size fits all. So if you have a moment and feel like you can participate in this, I would definitely encourage you to. We're gonna think of a few areas of your life and we're gonna kind of just note where we might experience peace, safety, calmness, um, if that will help you to kind of organize this for yourself a little bit. So think about your environment. Where do you feel peace? Is it at home? Is it outside? Is it in a car? Not sure. For some it may be at work, depending on what the type of work you do is. So this might show up as like a tiny corner in your space. It's in your environment, the dim lighting that you kind of gently turn down when you get home. Maybe it's outside in the fresh air in nature. Maybe you feel it as warmth, maybe it's a shower and water, maybe it's a car ride alone. Just take a moment to check in. The next one we're gonna talk about is your people. What people bring you peace? This is a big one. Do you like being alone? Do you like being near your partner? Is it friends? Is it family? Who is this? This might be one person who quote unquote gets me. Low pressure conversations that you have with someone. Maybe it's even shared silence. Just take a moment. The next area we're gonna look at is your body. What brings you peace? Is it through movement? Is it through rest? Is it through food? Is it through sleeping? This might look like stretching, slow walk, drinking enough water, give your body a warm meal, napping, that nervous system downshift. Alright. And the next one, where do you find peace in your mind and how does that show up for you? Is it through quietness? Through music, through prayer, meditation? Is it actually through learning? This could look like journaling, listening to some calming music, reading, slowing down and doing one task at a time. How does your mind experience peace? The next one is your rhythm. This speaks to your routine, your ability to be spontaneous. Early nights. This might be a quiet start to the morning, unrushed evenings, or simply having no plans and taking that day off without scheduling a doctor's appointment or all the errands in the day that you might do otherwise. The next part of our piecemap is we're gonna look at boundaries. What phone limits do you have? Do you say no? Scheduling for your plans, cleaning your space. So it definitely looks like saying no, leaving early from an event. Putting your phone on do not disturb. Limiting your news consumption. Reducing decision fatigue. And the last one is your meaning. Is it creativity? Is it service? Is it nature? Is it faith? And is it play? Where do you find peace? This might be quality time with a family member, mentoring or being mentored over a certain topic, engaging in creative practices like crafting or photography, or maybe even learning. Now that you've taken a moment just to kind of look through all those, you might be able to finish some of these sentences. I feel most peaceful when keep it specific. Like when I'm outside in the sun, when my home is quiet, or when I'm with one safe person and we're not rushing. It might also be helpful to think of it as peace sounds like and fill in the blank. Peace looks like. And then peace in my body feels like. Run through each one, your environment, your people, your body, your mind, your rhythm, your boundaries, and your meaning. And then choose your top three peacemakers, your most reliable signals of safety. And note those down. It could be the 10 minutes outside for walking, or putting your phone on do not disturb, and reading a chapter in a book. Could be listening to music or having one safe person that you can have a conversation with where you don't problem solve anything or make any decisions. You just chat. Note this in your phone and keep it as a reminder from time to time and check in and make sure this still rings true for you. Because as we talked about, sometimes these things can shift and they can change. And that's your blueprint. Peace becomes easier to access when you know what actually creates it for you.

SPEAKER_00 21:43

I love that. That is great. You know, I think having a map, sometimes that's what we need. We need things to think about. We need steps in order to grow, to learn, to change. Um, so I love that.

unknown 21:59

I

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Want to just talk for a second about self-compassion and Kristen Neff's research and thinking about, especially if you know you're in a profession where you care for others, or you are a caregiver to whomever that might be, or maybe you're a parent, right? There's all of these things and roles that we play where we're caring for others and taking a moment for ourselves and having sort of that self-compassion break can be really sort of powerful. And I want to talk about just taking a self-compassion break and using our sense of touch. So here's just an example that maybe your day was difficult. And maybe you're going to say to yourself, today was difficult. I'm learning how to handle this. I'm learning how to handle these things. And with our sense of touch, that physical cue activates that parasympathetic calming, that peacefulness in our nervous system. So I encourage you for your self-compassion break. Maybe as you're sitting in your favorite place or in your car or taking just a moment and just have your hand over your heart and feel your heart beating. Feel your breath over your heart. Maybe also if that's not comforting, maybe you're gonna just gently hold your arms and simulate just a little bit of a hug to yourself. Or maybe you're gonna clasp your hands and put your hands in a comfortable sort of way where they touch each other. Just that light touch, or if you feel like a little bit more pressure might be what's comfortable, press your palms together a little bit. But this is helping us signal safety to our nervous system when we give ourselves sort of that gentle touch, that self-compassionate break with gentle touch, that peaceful touch, if you will.

SPEAKER_01 24:19

Love it, love it, love it, love it. And I hope that all of the things that we talked about today are helpful and beneficial. And if you can take anything away, you know, through activities or doing your peace map or just clasping your hands together to just give you that moment of presence and remind your body um that you're safe, may in fact be, you know, wonderful to take away from today. So any last thoughts before we finish up about peace?

SPEAKER_00 24:48

Not today. Boy, am I feeling peaceful though, going through going through these exercises at the end.

SPEAKER_01 24:54

It's so helpful to have like the reminder. And I think even sometimes we as therapists kind of forget, we we instruct and kind of you know explore these different areas. But I mean, yeah, definitely helpful for us to have those reminders as well. So all right, in the next episode, we'll explore shame, what it is, and how it shows up in the body. So thank you so much for being here today. If this episode helped, consider subscribing and sharing it with someone who could use better words for what they feel, and we'll catch you on the next episode. Take care, everyone. Take care.