Episode 2: Same River, Different Ride

🎙 Episode 2: Same River, Different Ride

Have you ever noticed how the exact same situation can feel completely different depending on the day?

One moment you’re calm and steady…
the next, the same thing feels like too much.

In this episode, I share a story from a family river rafting trip where everyone experienced the same rapid — but walked away with completely different feelings about it.

And honestly… it’s the same thing happening in our homes every day.

We’re not just reacting to what’s happening.
We’re reacting to the story our brain creates about what’s happening.

When you start to see that, everything begins to shift.

What we talk about:

• Why the same moment can feel easy one day and overwhelming the next
• The difference between what actually happened and what your brain made it mean
• How your thoughts shape your feelings (often without you noticing)
• Why your brain jumps to protect you and how that shows up in real life
• A simple way to pause before reacting and create more space in the moment

A simple tool to take with you:

Before you react, try this:

Pause and get curious.

Instead of:
“What does this mean about me?”

Try:
“Huh… that’s interesting.”
“I wonder what’s going on for her.”

Let the moment stay about the other person —
instead of turning it into a story about you.

That small shift can change everything.

A quick reminder:

Nothing has gone wrong.

Your brain is doing what it’s designed to do —
protect you, scan for danger, and fill in the blanks.

But you don’t have to believe every thought it offers.

You can pause.

You can breathe.

You can choose what you do next.

Try this:

Take one minute today to pause in a moment that feels off.

Not to fix it.
Not to figure it out.

Just to notice:

What actually happened…
and what your brain is saying about it.

That space is where things start to change.

If this episode resonated:

Share it with a friend who might need it too.

And come back when you need a reset.

Less panic. More peace. Real conversations.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Have you ever noticed that four people can go through the exact same thing and walk away with completely different experiences? One person says, this is incredible, and someone else is thinking, I hate this. Same moments, same situations, completely different stories. And if you've ever caught yourself thinking, why does today feel harder for me? Stay with me. This is episode two, same river, different ride. Hi, I'm Mary. I'm a mom, and I'm riding this season of life with you. This is just breathe. Reset and come back to yourself, feeling calm, steady, and confident again. Less panic, more peace, and real conversations. So I want to tell you about a family trip we took. We were rafting the gates of Ledore on the Green River for three days. My kids were between the ages of six and fourteen, and this was a brand new experience for them. We were with another family who runs the river multiple times a year, really good friends. We were in super good hands. All of us were on the same river, same rapids, same weather, same trip, very different experiences. On day two, we hit a class three rapid, and my six and 14-year-old, who were sitting at the front, were launched into the river. They were okay, they floated through, they were pulled back into the raft. Two of the kids stayed in the raft, two of the kids went to the river. Those are the facts. But what happened next looked completely different. For two of them, that rapid was the best part. It's the story they kept telling. It was amazing. That was so fun. For my other two kids, it was terrifying. My youngest got back in the raft and fell asleep almost immediately on top of me. Her body just shut down. And my 14-year-old spent the rest of the trip counting down the minutes until we were done. Four girls, one river, same rapid, but different thoughts, different emotions, telling very different stories. On day three, when the fear hadn't left them, I remember thinking, we are literally in the same boat. How is this so different? And this is the part that matters, because it was not the river. It wasn't even the rapid, but it was the meaning each of their brains gave that moment. Now listen, we all do this. Why? Because it's what humans are built to do. They make meaning out of circumstances going on around them. I see this all the time at home. Because today those four girls are all teenagers, and it is a roller coaster ride. It is the best kind. Also, sometimes the crazy kind. And I love it. It teaches me constantly. God totally knew what he was doing. But depending on the day and depending on what's already going on inside of me, I can get a response from my 17-year-old and think, oh, she's had a long day. Clearly, she's tired. I'm just gonna give her a minute. And I feel calm, I stay open, I stay connected, I don't take it personally. But another day, she could have the exact same tone, the exact same comment is made to me, and my brain goes, Are you serious right now? You are being so disrespectful. Why is she talking to me like that? And what is going on with her? And then I feel it. I'm tight, I'm defensive, I get reactive, but remember, they were the same words. I just created a different story. I had different feelings, I had a different outcome, and so does she. This is how our brains make sense of the world. Something happens, we call that a fact, and then your brain offers you a thought about it, and that thought creates how you feel. Not the moment itself, the meaning you give the moment. Michael Asinger said, You are not the voice in your head, you are the one who hears it. I love that quote. And I want you to let it really sink in because it changes things. Because that thought your brain offers you, that's just a voice. It's like another person riding in your car on this thing called life. They're not the driver, you're the driver, but they are in the back seat telling you so much advice. You're the one listening, which means you get to pause before you follow it. So here's a few things you can take with you. First, be aware that there is a story at play. And second, can you separate the fact from that story? What is actually happening? What did your brain make it mean? Because those two things are not the same thing. Third, what feeling is coming from that thought? What are you experiencing? Where is it in your body? Because those feelings have more influence than you or I might give credit for. And they make the moment get either very charged or release. Fourth, and this is where the pause comes in. Here's the moment most of us skip. We go straight from the thought to a feeling to a quick reaction without ever being able to notice the story. It takes practice. And I want to practice it with you because we don't have to fix anything, we just have to pause long enough to make sense of it. So wherever you are, I want you to let your shoulders soften. Take a slow breath in and let it out. Again, if you're driving, you do not have to stop. You don't have to stop doing the dishes, you don't have to stop running around or whatever's happening in your life. But you can take a slow inhale and a long exhale. Now I want you to bring a moment to your mind, a conversation, a tone, something that didn't sit quite right that you're still holding on to. It doesn't have to be anything big. Just notice what shows up in your body. Where is it? Is it tight? Do you feel heavy? Is there some defensiveness still there? It's okay. None of it is wrong. But here's the shift. Before your brain runs off and builds a whole story or reminds you why you should be cranky right now. Pause. Take a breath. And instead of going straight to what does this mean about me, I want you to try something different. Maybe it's huh, that's interesting. I wonder what's going on for her. Maybe even a little bit of playfulness, if you can offer yourself that. She said that in a way I wasn't expecting. And just let it stay there. Let it stay with her. Not turning it into a story about you. Because your brain is trying to protect you. It is constantly scanning for danger. It fills in the blinks and it wants to make things personal real quick. But when you pause, we get the chance to interrupt that pattern. So take another slow breath and imagine that moment again. But this time, just observe it. You don't have to grab it. You don't have to fix it. Just let it move. Take one more slow breath and notice is there even a little more space? Not as it fixed, not as it perfect. But has that space offered you a little steadiness, a little separation? My friends, that's the pause. Listen, nothing about the situation has changed and nothing needs to, but your relationship to it can. And that changes everything. Listen, here's what's fun. I want to take you back to the river. Last week for spring break, we did another river trip as a family. And when I asked my two girls, as we were literally floating, if they were excited for the river, they both said they were. These are the two that got kicked out of the boat. And it made me smile. And I asked my youngest, the one that shut completely down, why are you excited? And she said, I bet it'll be fun this time, because I'm not six anymore. Amen, sister. Listen, you, you are not yesterday's version of you anymore, either. You're not married to your past story. It does not need to be the backseat driver in your car. This is version 2037 of your river adventure. You have had so many updates to your software since that experience. When we can offer ourselves enough perspective and self-love to experiment with redoes and stay curious, it allows the past to truly be in the past. Of course, our future is going to be a new version. We have changed and we have grown and we have learned. I think we forget that. So we end up dragging yesterday's version with us, just in case, and replaying the software. But listen, we can see it like my 11-year-old. We can give ourselves enough pause and perspective to say, this is today me. What happened is the past, and I am here today ready to embrace a new adventure. And you know what happened? Last week on the river, we had the best time. Everyone enjoyed it. Everyone thought the rapids were fun. So listen, you're gonna have thoughts all day long. It's part of being a human, but you don't have to believe all of them. And you definitely don't have to react to all of them. And if you do, and you have a moment that is not your best, it's okay. Just take a little pause, do a reset, and ta-da, you've just updated to version 2038. I want you to feel more steady in your life, and that is what this podcast is offering you. Every day, every moment, you get to pick your story, and you get to pick the steadiness you feel inside of your life. Okay, before you go, notice one last thing with me. In the middle of everything you're carrying, you gave yourself a moment to breathe. Congratulations. That matters. Keep showing up. A pause changes more than you realize. One moment at a time, one reset at a time. I'll see you here next time.