🎙 Episode 4: My Story - Your Brain Is Not the Enemy

In this episode, I’m sharing a very personal story about my first brain MRI and how it unexpectedly became one of the biggest turning points in my understanding of anxiety, nervous systems, and the stories we rehearse inside our minds.

For a long time, I thought peace would come when I finally stopped feeling anxious or overwhelmed. But what I’ve learned is this:

My brain was never the enemy.

It was trying to protect me.

In this episode, I talk about what it looked like to stop fighting my own mind and start working with it instead. I share how fear can quietly train our nervous systems to stay emotionally braced for life and how so many women are walking around exhausted, reactive, and overloaded without even realizing how much pressure they’re carrying internally.

I also walk you through the mindset shift that completely changed my MRI experiences over the last six years and honestly, changed so much more than that.

Inside this episode, I share:
• My very first brain MRI experience and the anxiety spiral that came with it
• The moment I realized I needed to stop rehearsing fear
• How changing the story changed the experience
• Why our nervous systems stay “braced” for bad news, conflict, and overwhelm
• The difference between noticing fear and becoming consumed by it
• A calming mindfulness exercise using the metaphor of a boat on the ocean
• Why I believe peace comes from learning to steady ourselves inside hard things

If your mind has been loud lately…
If you feel emotionally overloaded, reactive, anxious, or exhausted…
I hope this episode reminds you that you are not failing.

You are human.

And you do not have to believe every fearful thought that passes through your mind.

✨ I’m also currently offering a handful of free 20-minute sessions where I help women identify the biggest patterns keeping them emotionally overwhelmed and constantly bracing for life.

Because most women are not broken.
They’re overloaded.

And sometimes one honest conversation can change everything.

Grab a spot!https://marywilliamscoach.mykajabi.com/offers/g39tf9nH  https://marywilliamscoach.mykajabi.com/offers/g39tf9nH

And until next time…
Just breathe.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I remember laying in my very first MRI of the brain, trying not to absolutely lose my mind, which is pretty funny considering they were scanning my brain. But the truth is the machine itself wasn't the worst part. The worst part was being stuck with nothing but my machine gun thoughts for an hour. We must be done, right? My cheek is so itchy. Oh crap, now my hand. I didn't think I was claustrophobic, but this must be an adult onset thing. That's probably possible, right? Because it's getting really hard to breathe. And on and on and on. Weirdly enough, that experience became one of the biggest reasons I eventually became a life coach. If we haven't met yet, this episode is kind of my official hello. You know how it goes. I'm fine. But at the same time, if one more person asks me what's for dinner, I may legally choose to disappear. And that's actually a huge part of why I care so deeply about nervous systems and thoughts and emotional overwhelm and health and all of it. Because several years ago, my own body completely got my attention. Hi, I'm Mary. I'm a mom, and I'm right in this season of life with you. This is just breathe. Reset and come back to yourself, feeling calm, steady, and confident again. Less panic, more peace, and real conversations. So years ago, I started having some weird health symptoms. Listen, if you have ever had unexplained health stuff happening, you know that your brain can quickly become a full-time investigator. Every symptom suddenly means you're dying, you cannot get on the internet because it is your worst enemy. You start dramatically analyzing your own left eyelid and why it might be twitching at 2 a.m. It's very calm, stable behavior. Thankfully, my doctor ordered a brain MRI. Now, before this, I would not have described myself as an anxious person. Stress sometimes? Absolutely. Busy? 100%. Emotionally carrying the entire weight of humanity while simultaneously buying snacks for everybody at Costco? Yes. But anxiety? I wouldn't have labeled myself that way. So I went into this MRI thinking, it's fine. Let's just get this over with. No big deal. Then you get in there. They lay you down. They wedge your head in place so it can't move. I got a full-blown strap on my forehead and a cage over my entire face. My body was also strapped in, and then I got shipped off into what felt like a mechanical breadstick warmer. No surprise that suddenly my brain was a little panicky. It started saying panic seems very appropriate. And here's where the spiraling thoughts went. I wonder how long this is gonna take. I can't believe I'm anxious. Oh no, am I a person with anxiety now? What if my breathing makes me move? Then they'd have to start the whole thing over. What if I freak out in here? Oh my gosh, I am really trapped. The sound of this is so loud. Every single drumbeat, I don't know if I can take it any longer. Meanwhile, the MRI machine is just aggressively beatboxing all around me. Very relaxing stuff. And of course, the second I got out, it magically vanished. And I pinned a proverbial, good thing I don't have to do that again, ribbon right on my chest. Well, a week later at my follow-up appointment, my neurosurgeon happily told me, we're going to monitor this with MRIs every three months. And I remember clearly thinking, well, this is either going to become a recurring torture ritual, or I'm going to have to figure out how to work with my brain instead of against it. So before my next MRI, I made a really intentional decision. I decided I was going to stop rehearsing fear. Instead, I was going to plan for the best. Which sounds very wise and grounded now, but at the time it mostly looked like me aggressively convincing myself that MRIs were basically a luxury spa experience. I started telling everybody, oh MRIs, they give me the best nap of my life. I committed hard. When the nurses checked me in that day, I said, Oh, I am so excited for my nap. When they offered music, the answer was, oh no, thanks. I'll be unconscious soon. I had them pile warm blankets on me, tuck me in like a burrito. I told stories about how I used to do this to my kids to go to sleep. I fully embraced the situation. And you know what's wild? My brain followed my lead. It was the same machine, same diagnosis, exact same tube, same body, completely different experience. For six years now, dozens of MRIs later, I've slept through almost every single one. And not because I became magically fearless, but because I stopped treating my brain like my enemy. And guess what? That changed more than MRIs. I started seeing it in every area of my life. Ways that I was expecting the worst instead of planning for the best. Like let's think of bedtime, for example. But that's where it turned. I realized how many women are walking around every day with nervous systems that feel constantly braced. Braced for bad news, braced for conflict, braced for disappointment, braced for someone else's emotions, braced for the next problem. After a while, your body starts living like a tiger is in the room with you, even when you're just unloading the dishwasher. That's why I care about what I do. Not because I think we should all become perfectly peaceful zen humans floating through life in linen pants. That's not what's happening over here at my house. I still lose my phone while I actively hold it. I still hide in my pantry sometimes. I still lock the bathroom door. I still have moments where I think, maybe if no one talks to me for about six months. But I started realizing something really important that kept me okay during that thinking. Peace does not come from eliminating the hard thing. Peace comes from learning you can steady yourself inside the hard thing. And honestly, that's what I want this podcast to be for you. A lighthouse. Not a place that pretends storm doesn't exist, but a place that reminds you you are not crazy while you're moving through them. Because maybe your storm doesn't look like MRI's. Maybe yours is more like overthinking, parenting struggles, health issues, marriage stress, anxiety, exhaustion, feeling emotionally overloaded all the time, trying to manage work and home and humanness, and quietly wondering why does everything suddenly feel so hard? Different waves, same human experience. And I'm not here to yell advice from you from the shore. I'm here to help you remember that you can learn to steady your boat yourself again. So here's our breathing practice today. Close your eyes for a minute and picture yourself sitting safely in a boat on the ocean. Notice the water beneath you. Some moments it feels calm, some moments it's rough, some moments the waves feel big and overwhelming. So close your eyes for a minute and picture yourself sitting safely in a boat on the ocean. I want you to get some details about your boat. Is it little? Is it big? What makes you feel safe? Do you have a cruise ship? Do you feel pretty great in a smaller fishing boat? You know, is it a catamaran? Picture something where you can feel comfortable. Then notice the water beneath you. Some moments it's calm. Some moments it's rough, some moments the waves feel big and overwhelming. That water is a lot like emotions. And here's the important part: the water is not the enemy. The water is what keeps the boat floating. You want that water, you want emotions, you want the experience. Now notice the wind. The wind is like your thoughts. Some thoughts feel steady and peaceful, some feel fast and intense, and some try to convince you a storm is coming and a brace for impact. But the wind is not the enemy either. The wind is what moves the boat forward. Mindfulness is learning to notice the waves and the wind without becoming them, without them consuming you. Instead of getting tangled in the storm, you practice observing it. Oh, look at that. My thoughts are really loud right now. Oh, I think that wave is fear. Oh, here comes a little bit of overwhelm. And then you bring yourself back to your safe boat. Your boat is still floating. And then you return yourself to the present moment, not looking at the future, not trying to bring stuff from the past, but right here, where you are still breathing, where you are still safe. You do not have to control the ocean to learn how to steady yourself on it. Take one slow breath in and one slow breath out, and remind yourself, I can notice the storm without becoming the storm. You do not have to believe every fearful thought that passes through your mind, and you do not have to become every feeling that passes through your body. You can notice them. You can breathe through them, you can practice new stories, and you can create safety on purpose. It's not perfect, just little by little. And if this conversation resonates with you, I have something for you. I am opening up a handful of free 20-minute sessions because honestly, sometimes one good conversation can change the direction of everything, especially when you've been stuck in your own head for a long time. In this session, I'm going to help you identify the two biggest patterns that may keep you overwhelmed, emotionally exhausted, or constantly bracing. Because most women aren't broken, they're overloaded, their nervous systems are exhausted, and their thoughts have been rehearsing fear for a very long time. Sometimes just seeing that clearly can change everything. So if you feel like your brain has been loud lately, if you feel like you've been carrying stress in your body, if you feel reactive, emotionally tired, or like you've lost yourself a little bit, come talk to me. I'd genuinely love to meet you. You can grab one of those free sessions in the show link. And until next time, just breathe. Oh hey, before you go, notice one last thing with me. In the middle of everything you're carrying, you gave yourself a moment to breathe. Congratulations. That matters. Keep showing up. A pause changes more than you realize. One moment at a time, one reset at a time. I'll see you here next time.