There are 2 Sides to Every Coin

Episode 5: There Are Two Sides to Every Coin

What if the very thing you've spent years criticizing about yourself is connected to one of your greatest strengths?

In this episode of Just Breathe, I'm inviting you to look at yourself through a different lens.

I think many of us spend years staring at our weaknesses, flaws, insecurities, and perceived shortcomings without ever stopping to flip the coin over and see what's on the other side. The trait you call "too emotional," "too shy," "too much," or "not enough" may also be the source of your compassion, courage, awareness, connection, or resilience.

In this conversation, I share personal examples, coaching insights, and lessons from Moses and Peter that have helped me see human nature differently. Together, we'll explore why shame keeps us stuck, why our brains tend to focus on only one side of the story, and how curiosity creates far more growth than self-criticism ever will.

If you've ever wished you could change parts of yourself, felt frustrated by your personality, or carried around the belief that you're somehow falling short, this episode is for you.

In this episode, we'll explore:

• Why many strengths and struggles come from the very same source
• How shame keeps us stuck and curiosity creates change
• What Moses and Peter teach us about weakness and growth
• A simple coaching question that can shift self-judgment into self-awareness
• A guided breathing exercise to help you see yourself more completely

My hope is that by the end of this episode, you'll stop looking at yourself through the lens of condemnation and start seeing yourself with a little more compassion.

Because maybe the goal isn't becoming someone different.

Maybe it's learning to see the whole coin.

Until next time, friend... just breathe. ❤️

Transcript

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Some of you are about to have your minds blown. I'm going to show you how the very thing you criticize most about yourself is often attached to something very beautiful. We all have a voice in our heads that whispers or yells something like, I'm too much, I'm a mess, my life would be better if I wasn't so fill in the blank. This is a human condition. The woman feeling like I'm too sensitive is likely also the person who notices when someone's hurting before anyone else does. I think a lot of us have spent years looking at only one side of our coin, and today we're gonna flip it over. This is episode five. There are two sides to every coin. Hi, I'm Mary. I'm a mom, and I'm right in this season of life with you. This is just breathe. Reset and come back to yourself, feeling calm, steady, and confident again. Less panic, more peace, and real conversations. I think about our coins a lot. Boy, is it easy to stare at our perceived flaws and weaknesses and make Supreme Court level evidence about it. I'm going to be arguing for the defense on this one though, because the truth is none of us are without flaws or weaknesses. So why not get a little curious together? I believe our weaknesses and shortcomings are in fact just as valuable and can be a map if we let them. Now, before anybody panics, I'm not saying all weakness is secretly amazing. I'm not saying we don't work on ourselves, and I'm definitely not saying harmful behavior gets free pass. But I do think many of us have spent years reducing ourselves down to the hardest parts of our personality without ever flipping the coin over to see what's on the other side. For example, I'm a very social person. That is one of my strengths. I connect easily. I love people. I genuinely enjoy conversation and the energy and the experiences. But if you flip my coin over, I can spread myself very thin socially. I can become emotionally drained, and if I'm not paying attention, I have very little left for myself or my family. Same coin, different side. Or maybe someone says, I'm too shy. Okay, but what else are you? Maybe you're observant, maybe you're thoughtful, grounded, emotionally perceptive. Maybe you don't need constant external validation to feel okay. Same coin. Or the highly driven person, capable, disciplined, hardworking, reliable, but the shadow side, easily burnt out. Pressure, feeling like your worth has to be earned. Same coin, different sides. Now I know what some of you are also saying. So you're saying weaknesses are good? Well, frankly, yeah, they can be. What I want to drive home is that shame, blame, and self-criticism are unhelpful. And keeping up with a coin metaphor, it is a really bad exchange rate. Because shame freezes us. Shame keeps us staring at one side of ourselves, and all of our attention says, see, this is why I'm filling the blank. Instead of getting curious enough to ask, what else might be true about me? Or how can this teach me? Does believing this about myself help me feel or act like the person I want to be? The scriptures teach this so well. Look at Moses. He felt deeply inadequate. He literally argued with God about not being capable enough. I am slow of speech. I can't do this. And isn't it entertaining that this comes from the man who was asked to spend the second half of his life speaking on behalf of the Lord? Moses saw weakness. The Lord saw opportunity. Because what if the other side of his coin was humility, teachability, dependence on God, because he was willing to see his limitations but still move forward. Okay, then look at Peter. He was bold, passionate, courageous, the first one out of the boat. But that same fire and confidence made him impulsive, emotional, reactive, the kind of guy who would chop off a soldier's ear without a second thought. Same coin, different side, all one man. These examples make me love scriptures even more because God doesn't seem remotely surprised by our human nature. He works with it, not against it. Your brain is constantly trying to protect you, to belong, avoid pain, and make sense of the world. And over time we develop patterns and traits and coping strategies. We come by them honestly, not perfectly, but very honestly. Sometimes those traits become beautiful strengths. Sometimes they become struggles we need to steward wisely. But I don't think the answer is self-hatred or self-criticism. I think the answer is awareness. One of my favorite quotes from Brene Brown is shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change. And sometimes that we're capable at all. The more shame we feel, the more stuck we can become. So maybe this week, instead of staring at the side of the coin you hate, flip it over. Ask yourself, what has this also given me? What learning lives inside this struggle? And what if this thing I've spent years criticizing in myself is not evidence that I'm less than, but evidence that I'm human. Human beings are not all shadow or light. We are both. And learning how to understand ourselves with compassion instead of condemnation changes everything. So let's take one slow breath together. As you breathe, picture yourself literally holding a coin in your hand. One side holds the struggle, the insecurity, the thing you judge in yourself. Now turn it over, breathe in, and as you breathe out, release something. Because what else is there? What strength? What goodness? What humanity? What wisdom have you developed? What care are you capable of? What capacity can you hold? Breathe in this truth. You are more than one side of your story. I know that your humanity isn't evidence that God forgot to finish creating you. I believe it's information, an opportunity for growth. Maybe it's stewardship. Because I also believe that nothing is wasted. Just maybe you've been staring at one side of your coin for a long time, and you might want to flip it over. Thank you for being here today, friends. And until next time, just breathe. Oh hey, before you go, notice one last thing with me. In the middle of everything you're carrying, you gave yourself a moment to breathe. Congratulations. That matters. Keep showing up. A pause changes more than you realize. One moment at a time, one reset at a time. I'll see you here next time.