“The whole cult manosphere thing is nuts” Pro Fighter and Dominatrix – Monique Etienne

Join the H-Hour Patron Community at patreon.com/hkpodcasts ***** For this Icebreaker with Muay Thai fighter Monique Etienne, answering patron-submitted questions she breaks down the hardest part of Muay Thai—its brutally full-contact nature—contrasting it with junior karate where you had to pull strikes and she was once disqualified for making contact. She reflects on her two losses, including a 2024 bout against European champion Sigrid Kanan and an earlier amateur fight soon after her dad died that helped prompt a gym change, insisting “losses are lessons.” The chat hits fighter reputations, her own style as calm but confident, and a sharp take on the manosphere—calling Andrew Tate “a dick” while arguing the trend is “symptomatic” of wider male disenfranchisement—before rolling into the full episode. https://link.me/ladyblackvenus https://www.instagram.com/ladyblackvenus.x/

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hello, welcome back to Heych Hour. Uh, we are gonna get into the icebreaker with Monique Etienne shortly. I'm gonna be asking Monique questions that were submitted by Heych Hour patrons in advance of this podcast. They've got access, they being the patrons, they've got access to the guest list. They've got uh the ability to submit questions for the guests, as you will hear in a second. If you would like the opportunity to do that and lots of other perks, then please become a patron of the podcast. Uh, it costs like a fiver a month, it's dirt cheap, it's cheaper than a coffee these days, which is a little bit depressing. Coffees are so expensive. Uh, but it's worth every penny. Support the Hugh. The link to the the link to the patronage is in the blurb, is in the description of this episode. Head there now and uh sign up, become a patron. You will not regret it, and you will make me a happy, happy ginger. There aren't many happy gingers. Make me one of them, please. Thank you very much. Enough of the nonsense.

SPEAKER_00 0:55

That was smooth. That was very smooth. I'm impressed.

SPEAKER_01 0:59

Yeah, thank you very much. Um become a patron. Uh Monique.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

Hello.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

Pleasure. We have to we have to give a thank you to Lee Matthews for the introduction.

SPEAKER_00 1:09

Yeah, thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

No, it's uh it's great to have you in the studio. And as you are now aware, we have got some crack in questions lined up for you for the icebreaker. Uh, and I'm looking forward to the podcast. I'm ready per discussion off air. We'll see where that goes. Okay, you are ready for the questions. Let's just double check in everything because it is going smoothly. I haven't left a microphone off. No, I haven't. Okay, we're good. The first question is okay. It's from a guy called Coke. What is the hardest thing about learning Muay Thai? And how does it compare to the hardest parts of learning other martial arts?

SPEAKER_00 1:49

I mean, I think definitely because it is so full contact. Like this it was that that was the most interesting thing because I grew up striking. I grew up doing karate and then I did jujitsu. I started doing jiu-jitsu when I was 17. Um, but the reason why I don't want to say I fell out of love with karate, but I one of the reasons why I wanted another striking was because um I think my my last karate fight when I was 16, I got disqualified for like making contact. And I just think thought I need something where I can actually hit the person and actually, you know, you're not holding back what explain that to me.

SPEAKER_01 2:29

You weren't allowed to make contact, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

Especially for the juniors, so it's kind of you you make contact and you have to pull it back. It's by you know, millimeters. Oh, did not know that. Yeah, so it's a semi-contact art, but I really like the full contact nature of Muay type, but then obviously you're hitting that hard, so you're getting hit that hard as well. So that was probably the biggest kind of transition in some ways. And obviously, you have the knees and elbows and everything. There's just more ways to get injured, I guess. So it's brutal.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

It's brutal. Such a brutal sport for violence. Unbelievable. Hasn't there been a new? I'm sure it is, yeah. There's a there's a new Moy Thai promotion that just started up in the USA. And the reason I mention it is because so do you know um the bike shed MC over in Shoreditch? Are you aware of that place? It's a it's a motorbike club restaurant kind of place. Started over there by uh British couple, but they opened up a place in LA only a few years ago, and they're they're hosting a uh uh a brand new Muay Thai promotion out in the States, and they're hosting it at their venue now. Yeah, I just I just put it on my head as we were talking about it. Yeah, I'll I'll show you after um okay. So next question is from Coke again. What do you think of what do you think of your losses in and out of the ring? Uh in and out of the ring. What are the losses out of the ring? What's he mean looking for?

SPEAKER_00 3:53

I think I know what he's talking about.

SPEAKER_01 3:55

Oh really?

SPEAKER_00 3:56

Oh fucker.

SPEAKER_01 3:58

No, um uh well you haven't specified other things, so maybe something.

SPEAKER_00 4:04

Okay, that's true. Um my losses. Well, in the ring, um I have lost um I've lost twice. Um one once was in 2024 to um Sigrid Kapnenen, uh, who is uh European um Muay Thai champion, incredible fighter, she's amazing. I was an honor to fight with her. I learned a lot from that fight. Um definitely lost. I've I've I'm fine with losing if I lose, you know. That's like not a justified. If it's justified, yeah, 100%. Like you can only learn. My first fight, actually. Um, my first amateur Muay Thai fight, I lost. I won't say her name because there was a bit of a I was I was annoyed. It was two months after my dad died. It was my first Muay Thai fight. Um, I personally think I battered her. I lost. It's why I left my first Muay Thai gym, actually. So it kind of worked out in the end because I was so annoyed with you know how it went and the fallout from it, it made me think, okay, I need to change gyms, I need to, you know, this is something I clearly want to do because I'm so wild up about it. Um so yeah, I think listen losses are lessons. That's how I see it. And out of the ring, losses are lessons.

SPEAKER_01 5:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 5:22

I think I know what he's alluding to, but I don't want to go there in case that's not what he's talking about. No, it's fine.

SPEAKER_01 5:26

Don't go there if you don't want it. I've got no idea. So I've got no idea. Um, the third question again from Coke is how often do people meet their reputations in and out of the ring in your experience?

SPEAKER_00 5:42

Um my experience. I think it depends. Um it depends on the person. I'd say I'd say I'd say it's a it's a good question actually. The more of a game people talk, the less I'm intimidated, is what I've learned over the years. I think it's always the calm ones that you have to be nervous of. They have nothing to prove, you know. They don't give that energy of like trying to prove something. As soon as someone's trying to, you know, get into your head mentally, it's like whatever.

SPEAKER_01 6:25

Yeah, funnily enough, there's a guy that I thought about when you were talking about karate, and he also matches that when you talk, and his name is Lyoto Machida, you know that guy UFC fighter, and he was like karate, went through a bit of a dip in terms of repetition, I think. When the UFC kicked off and she just completely brought it, but yeah. No, but then Machida rocked up into the UFC as a karate, yeah. Um, a karate specialist. Yeah. I was a ninja. Yeah. Yes, a ninja, you know, so I got it back up. But he was like that, dead calm.

SPEAKER_00 6:58

Well, and this is this is also the thing that I really I actually miss from martial arts, and actually, like if I'm being honest with MMA as well, there's like a real bravado, and I get it, it sells fights, and I'm I am, you know, everyone live loves a good kind of you know, bit of pre-fight conflict, but I also really like that kind of old school mentality, that old school approach of kind of yeah, it's almost spiritual in a way. There's a kind of it's the ethos, isn't it? The old martial arts ethos of you know, we're calm, we're ready for anything. Um, that warrior mindset kind of thing. Um, but that's just me.

SPEAKER_01 7:41

There's another karate, uh lady karate fighter actually called she's known as the happy warrior. And she's the same.

SPEAKER_00 7:47

I love that.

SPEAKER_01 7:49

She's but she remember she was in the ultimate fighter, and she you think she's too nice. I mean, yeah, crazy nice. Yeah, but those are the people, like, looks like a book. Yeah, but those are the people we've got to watch out for a karate ninja.

SPEAKER_00 8:01

Like Rose Namajunus, I think, really has that energy. I think she's very, you know, even like the whole shaved head thing, it's almost kind of giving me non-vibes. Like she's very, this is what I'm doing. I'm very focused. Savage as well. No, no, yeah, she's just a savage. There's no shit talking before, she just goes, does her job, and I like that attitude, you know, I like that approach.

SPEAKER_01 8:21

Thing is, the attitude and the the uh friction before. That's what it's all about these days, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 8:29

Yeah, yeah, it does.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

But uh, I know what you mean. Um okay, so in fact, what do you what do you think your reputation is amongst fight fans, amongst your fans? Does it align with who you are, do you think?

SPEAKER_00 8:47

I think it does. I think it does align. Um I think my reputation is I think people know that I'm strong and technical. Um and I think in terms of my character as well. I don't know. I I fought someone once and she was like, Oh, we thought you were gonna be a bitch afterwards. And I was like, Oh, what gives that impression? I think it depends. I think some people think maybe I'm a bit cocky, but other people think I'm pretty chill. I don't know. I'd say I'm more on the chill side.

SPEAKER_01 9:22

You did strike me as being quite feisty, I thought this was a feisty. See, this is what you mean.

SPEAKER_00 9:28

Really?

SPEAKER_01 9:29

And that's just from seeing you know, basically the research up to this moment.

SPEAKER_00 9:33

Okay, yeah, this no, I can be feisty, I can turn it on, but I mean I think in like in a competition setting, I like to be chill, calm, pleasant, polite, but confident. And I think, yeah, I'm I hope that is what I give off.

SPEAKER_01 9:50

Okay, good, good. Uh, question four. Do you have a more negative or a more positive view of men? And what do you think about male influencers like Andrew Tate?

SPEAKER_00 10:04

Well, not all men are like those male influencers. I love men.

SPEAKER_01 10:08

Thank God.

SPEAKER_00 10:08

I I do really love men. I like I It's nice to hear. Yeah, no, I'm I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_01 10:14

Well, you got all the manosphere shit going on at the minute.

SPEAKER_00 10:17

Yeah, but you know, I I think a lot of that stuff is reactionary. You know, I think a lot of it is about, and I think this is the thing. Whenever you get a zeitgeist like that, it's because men feel disenfranchised in some way. And, you know, I'm I kind of get it. I do kind of think that there has been um a dialogue in the last few years that makes men feel like they can't be men or they don't actually know what that is anymore. So I get where it comes from. I think Andrew Tate's a dick, obviously. And you know, that whole um that whole cult manosphere cult thing is that they're they're nuts, but it it's it's symptomatic of something else that's happening.

SPEAKER_01 11:05

We're gonna come up, we'll discuss that more on the podcast. That's all right. Uh, because I would like oh yeah, let's definitely get into that. I'm just writing a note down. All right, okay, good. That'll be it. I'm looking forward to discussing that. I've not discussed that before, but um as a man, it is of interest to me in terms of the topic. Uh all right, so we have got about eight or nine minutes left. All right, this is from David. You operate at the intersection of combat sport, philosophy, and alternative culture. What first drew you towards Muay Thai as a form of expression?

SPEAKER_00 11:51

It's it's actually it's quite long in a way. Um long, it's a long answer. Um I so obviously I was I got my back when I was 13, both my parents were karatikas. Um both your parents were karate, they're both practice, they were both karate practitioners. Um I stopped doing karate when I was 15 or 16 because it's a it's a long story, but it I had quite a I when I say troubled teenage, like I was a troubled teenager. Not I wasn't going out and getting wrecked, but I was emotionally quite troubled. And a lot of that had to do with my family. So I stopped doing karate for that reason, started doing jujitsu, which I did for 10 years, and then I just missed striking. I missed, I missed that kind of, you know, that was how I grew up, I guess. I was raised, I've been doing karate since I was six years old. So um I wanted something that felt that matched how I felt inside, and I think Muay Thai was that was that art, and I just was just lucky enough to stumble across it because I didn't plan on doing it. I was looking for a gym to teach self-defense, and I someone sent me a gym and I went to the wrong one, and there was muay thai there. Oh my god. And I was like, oh. Oh, it's fate. Yeah, it was fate, it's one of those things, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:18

Yeah, okay. Uh question two from David Female fighters are increasingly visible in combat sports. What does female empowerment mean to you personally inside the ring?

SPEAKER_00 13:36

Inside the ring. So that's a really good question, actually. I mean being there, being in the ring, first of all. Empowerment is such a funny word, I think, because I I use it quite often, but I I also think it's quite a uh it's a funny word because it's it's often so used in relation to being a woman. You know, I'm an empowered female kind of thing. Uh so but yeah, that's I guess that's a different, different subject. Being in the ring, taking risks. I think, and I think that's also why people prefer or have historically preferred watching men, is because men take more risks in fighting as well as just in general in life. So I think being able to take more risks at your discretion is would be like being empowered female fighter.

SPEAKER_01 14:31

Okay. Okay, good answer. Uh, your writing, this is question three from David. Your writing and brand explore themes of identity, power, and subculture. How do those do those ideas influence the way you fight?

SPEAKER_00 14:44

I would say so. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:46

How do I?

SPEAKER_00 14:47

Um I wouldn't say it's even necessarily something that I can put into words. Like your fighting is ultimately an expression of who you are. So whoever you are is gonna be reflected in in how you fight. I think I'm quite, you know, a defensive fighter. I can, I can I, you know, I like to counterattack. I like I self-defense ultimately is my like my baseline. So I approach fighting like that. And I think a lot of the things that I talk about and write about and try and present is also about defending yourself, defending your authenticity and your agency. So I in that sense, I guess you could, yeah, I could I would say that there's a similarity there. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_01 15:33

Uh choo, choo, choo. Who has inspired you most on your journey? Whether that's in sport, art or philosophy, who's your biggest inspiration if you had to choose one?

SPEAKER_00 15:42

If I had to choose one person, um my my favourite philosopher is probably Hannah Arendt. Um who's a German Jewish political theorist, is how she described herself. Uh and what's the name? Hannah Arendt.

SPEAKER_01 16:05

How do you spend a second?

SPEAKER_00 16:06

A-R-E-N-D-T. And I like what she knows she she she wrote a lot about identity, violence, and like for me when I read her, it's about how we take accountability for ourselves and our actions, especially when those actions lead to potentially violent outcomes. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:33

Okay. Last last one. Uh which is just a nonsense question. David, it's a nonsense question. I'm answering it. It's about rock, paper, scissors. It's like this is go for it.

SPEAKER_00 16:49

We like we like a bit of nonsense.

SPEAKER_01 16:51

I'm gonna ask it. Do you think you could beat me in a game of rock, paper, scissors, or would that be a tougher fight than stepping into the ring? Anyway, my god, my god. Um, that's it for the icebreaker question. Great. We will. There are more questions to ask you, which we will come on into the main pod because I've been specified for that. Um, so let's take a break, take a pause. If you'll listen to this on your podcast app, it's gonna roll straight into um the next episode on your podcast app, which is going to be the full HR interview with Monique. Look forward to it, it's going to be an absolute cracker and catch you on that one. Ciao.