Rohan Byfield's H-Hour Icebreaker - ex SFSG

For this Icebreaker with former paratrooper Rohan Byfield, founder of R2Bean2 coffee, answering patron-submitted questions he defines cowardice as not owning your mistakes — like Paras making excuses for getting caught with drugs — and shares when he's taken the "cowardly route" by holding back harsh truths to spare feelings. He defends the Paras' elitist mindset as essential for shock troops who must outlast enemies, citing Taliban chatter avoiding them and how it sharpens edges without going too far if you separate uniform from identity. The chat covers battalion rivalries fuelling excellence, leadership lessons from toxic and stellar NCOs — emphasizing autonomy, accountability, and adapting to personalities — before rolling into the full episode. https://r2bean2.com/

This episode is sponsored by Sin Eaters Guild - sineatersguild.co.uk

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

welcome back to hate shower we're gonna get into the we're gonna get into the icebreaker shortly with uh roan byfield of uh our two beans who coffee and of uh of parachute regiment historical fame what did they really go with that what what have you been told um uh this uh this episode's been live streamed to patrons and uh patrons have submitted uh questions ahead of the podcast for um for roan so if you roan i said rohan rowan rowan rowan and uh if you want to be able to do that then become a patron be become a patron support the hue support the podcast uh costs like a fiver a month um is the base level uh which gets you access to loads of stuff so the link to become a patron is uh in the blur of this podcast and that is enough of that we are going to welcome Rowan to the studio welcome to the studio Rowan cheers you thanks for having me no worries mate no rocking the uh HR4K patrol merchandise I see always mate I'm always rocking something from from Ben is good stuff do you know when I picked up their um where was I there last I was there last time I was there oh god it must have been maybe October last year just randomly before we get onto the patron questions and he had the the I would call it a poncho yes it was a fleece lined poncho I can't remember the name he's got for it fleece lined poncho I know the one I know the one massive yes right and it was I don't know if it was like a first one off the line whatever but it was on the bar in in in in his place I felt the quality on it it was very very good I thought this is gonna be expensive this is you know it's like a dry robe but HR4K dry robe right I've got one of the dry robes but he's also got like a another one like a yeah it's the big thing yeah heck is it called anyway yeah absolute bargain it was like 35 quid I couldn't believe it I got it from my I got it from my old man for for Christmas yeah both both my dad for Christmas and he was very delighted to find that you can fit a hot whole hot water bottle into the front pocket. So he goes out the back in the shed to smoke a cigarette because his my mother doesn't let me smoke in the house and he'll sit out the back in the freezing cold because he lives in South Wales freezing cold with a hot water bottle tucked in the pocket of his HR4K shroud that's it that's the one I think it's called a shroud yeah that's the one yeah I sent the image I took a photo and sent it to bed in uh to like uh in case he wanted to use it for HR 4k I thought highly unlikely he's going to for the socials but he didn't use it which is understandable anyway on a side note of merch gaz if you listen to it I'm still waiting for my jumper design put your mic in Gaz if you listen to this I'm still waiting for the jumper design that I emailed you about right so stop ignoring shame Gaz Walsh of Cine is guild Cine is guild his guild's fame as well really okay Gaz sometimes listens to these well I'm gonna make sure I send him that snippet right on to the icebreaker questions really good to have you buddy and um and uh I know you've come a long way up so you're not going back until this evening are you no I'm not going back until tomorrow um oh right yeah because uh after this obviously the event I told you about this timings are tight but we're okay all right so question number one from a guy called Coke um uh paras are being known um are known for being brave in combat but when have you been cowardly in your life pull that mic in for me cowardly well I suppose cowardly is maybe saving somebody's feelings I would say that maybe what from like not saying what you truly think to save somebody's feeling so I would say that would be that's a good example um the it depends on who it is um and you're trying there might be a little bit not in the right space so just being like your true authentic self would further deteriorate them so you know you'd take the I call it the cowardly route and not fully express what you're thinking uh to them because you know it would uh compound the situation so I'd say that otherwise I'll just front up and take a beating if it's in a situation where that which I have done I've never run away from anything in in that sense so yeah I did something like that recently on it on this topic and I and I I was hating myself for it's so small but it also I think it's so big yeah and it and and I was walking down the street this is London walking down the street uh not a touristy area it was an area which was uh of a particular demographic and uh which was not my demographic so I was kind of out of place anyway I felt I wasn't feeling out of place but uncomfortable uncomfortable yeah uh yeah yeah I would have been uncomfortable if if I had drawn attention to myself in some way or whatever right or hypervigilant is what I know good word anyway long story short someone in front of me was we were crossing the street and this guy was very uh it was a young lad and he was uh he was like kind of in a rush and uh long story short he dropped rubbish on the floor and well as he was as he was crossing the road and just dropped it on the floor deliberate just dropped it on the floor that irritates me that is yeah and I in I for a split second I was first thought I'm gonna fucking call him out and then I didn't and I I analyzed it after because literally as soon as I didn't and then he was he was you know there's a moment where it it passes and like and he was only 50 meters away. And the thing had happened like 20 seconds before it's like okay I'm gonna I'll walk back there pick it up and have a go at that point but I had to go back and and analyze why I didn't say to him in the immediate thing. My instinct was to say something but something stopped me. And when I looked at it I thought there was no reason for me not to there was no reasons for me not to do this. Like the what the only thing that could happen is if if he got erratic and started kicking off because I'm calling him out because you don't know what people are like these days right and then all of a sudden there's a scene which is probably why I didn't say anything. But I don't think it was the right choice I fucking should have told him. Yeah but I'm gonna I'm gonna caveat that with given the scenario of London and where it is you don't even know if that bloke's told up yeah right so I get where you're coming from I I I completely get where you're coming from but he could be told up you call him out he pulls a knife out yeah I know what you're saying I I know what you're saying but the thing is I think that shouldn't matter. I think true because the other thing is it's not like he was with a group if he was a group with a group of lads and they all were like behaving a similar way to him because he was he seemed like he was on edge okay he didn't seem like he was happy he seemed like he was in a rush you know so it was likely that the situation like he wouldn't respond he wouldn't respond politely oh sorry mate I shouldn't have done that and pick it up it wouldn't have been that response you know but he was on his own and I don't think I think there's part of the problem with this behavior and people not doing behavior like I did there not say anything a fear of confrontation but that leads to the behavior just getting worse and people doing what they want to do. True you know I anyway I was pissed off at myself and but I'm glad that happened because next time I'm just instantly gonna call it out it shouldn't be it's not okay it's not okay.

SPEAKER_01 7:53

Yeah but given all our backgrounds we take we tend to assess we tend to assess situations come visit me in the hospital we tend to assess situations and goes is it is is is it worth is it worth the outcome right yes you might feel good within yourself that you call somebody out for chucking a bit of rubbish on the floor which absolutely gets my goat when I see it because I always put my rubbish in my pocket till I find a bin um but in today's society mate it just yeah you just I say choose your battles is is my is how I do it now choose your battles and choose them wisely um is it is a hill you is worth dying on so that's all I think about it in it is this the hill you want to die on yeah yeah okay right next question um have you ever have you ever seen a para act like a coward?

SPEAKER_00 8:59

If yes what happened and how do you think it should have been dealt with e.g. being kicked out this question's from Coke again well I've seen both being kicked out for for drugs and IE steroids or weed and some some guys have absolutely owned it um and left and just left and said yeah I I fucked up and others have made excuses so I'd say that's the cowardly part of it you know you've made a decision to do something um and then you um don't own the the outcome the results the consequences of your actions so I I would say again in a roundabout way I know it's the definition of coward is different depending on the context you're looking at it but broadly I would say yeah there's guys that have done that and then made the they did deploy the book of excuses as as to why they did it and you know why they're hard done by and blah blah blah blah blah but we all know the rules you know big boys rules took the risk you got caught just own it and move forward you know I think people have more respect for the guys that did that than the ones that is that fire joe attention please attention please the fire alarm is about to be tested yes we're gonna take no we're gonna pull off for two minutes um I think that's done yeah let's read it out right we think the fire alarm is finished I am skeptical though but uh we managed to finish off the oh people being kicked out coward uh uh who seemed a para athlete a coward okay let's go on to the next question then from Coke again does the elitist does the elitist mindset of power reg go too far and is it needed examples an ex-paro joined late 80s told this person when his platoon was close to passing out a corporal told him to get in a fight with another unit on the night out so they fought a guards unit and another example uh para SAS Ben Griffin who you'll know of yeah I know Ben said power edge corpedge corporals were feared in the army and when they were near other units would order them to look away he also said paras are taught to hate other units and civilians in the civilian world this would seem point this seems pointless and wrong so back to the question does the elitist mindset of power edge go too far no is it needed yes I like the one with answers I agree with both there is why is it why why is it needed it's needed because of where the blokes are going to be operating in the in in the bigger scheme of things and we are by design shock troops yeah and if you're gonna be that you have to have a mindset that makes you and pushes you to drive far further harder and think that you will outwill the others irrespective of who they are some people do take it too far but at the end of the day that's what we want we want people to push and deliver no no no no no no no no attention please pause the last contest is now complete yes far on leave on god damn it that's leave it in I think it's perfect I think it's perfect carry on um so let me rephrase that a little bit so you have blokes that go into the in the reg or in the military or any institution and they have the institution mindset and they then they don't know how to separate the institution from themselves so that then that becomes a problem because they they can't survive outside of it they you know that that's it it's their life their their identity intertwine their identity with yeah they're inextricably linked yeah so you know they they're not one of both the guys that are really successful are the guys that can separate the both take the best parts of the institution and mold it into themselves right and drive forward right in my opinion yeah so I do think but you don't most people who join a parachute regiment intrinsically have some of that anyway that's why they they gravitate towards the parachute regiment because it's a challenge it's hard yeah people do their research they're like yeah that's hard they're the best I want to go I want to try that I want to go see if I got what it takes so naturally that you're gonna have those people so all it does is just sharpen up the edges of that mindset anyway otherwise no you wouldn't attempt it nobody goes to the tries the ridge and goes there half ass like going on selection and going there half ass you're not gonna cut as soon as you get on the hills you're gonna pile in right because it's hard and it's all about mental aptitude there's nobody pushing you along saying come on get going it's got to be self-driven so absolutely the mindset when you look at when we oh you watch all the podcasts and you listen to the blokes when they talk about um mindset and how things happen in Afghanistan and I I watched one the other day and it was about the uh some Americans were talking about Paris and the area that they were in before they took over and they hadn't realized how bad it was because the bloats just made it seem simple but it was nails obviously Sangin when before the the Marines come uh American Marines come and took over because the blotes just made it look like it just a normal day they're in the park and then when you listen to some of the anecdotes about ICOM chatra um and the Taliban understanding units and what they would get from each unit so you'd hear them say hey oh the guys with the the blue patches on their arm are coming through or the guys with the green patches on their arm are coming through let's wait for the next lot right because they knew you know they'd get a fight because the blokes wouldn't back down because that's it you know it's ingrained in you from week one day one close with close with you's just like push forward don't back off and that's what it takes.

SPEAKER_01 17:29

Yeah I totally agree okay next question from Coke um are the best are the best paras generally in SFSG and and how does serving in one power compare to two and three power I've never served in two or three power I've got mates in both battalions it's a power edge battalion we have our own little culture within each battalion but it's a power edge battalion in my mind we're very competitive amongst each other and I think that's what makes us even better because we all think we're better than each other um and we all compete right in we compete inside our battalions and we compete inter battalion to be the best so that just you know you know to coin a term iron sharpens iron that that's just what we are it's our culture to do those things so I I wouldn't say any battalion is better than the other I just we all have our different cultures within it but essentially we're all cut from the same cloth you know we you see it when we go on when blokes go on courses we all gravitate to each other you know we never met each other before and then like within 10 minutes we're all best mates would you disagree with that? No well yeah minutes more like seconds yeah but you know them yeah that's true actually second I remember I remember getting asked uh I can't remember what unit it was it's like does all do all paras know each other and I was like no we just met what uh was that when I was on juniors and I'd gone back to my room and it'd seen all of us just gathered together started bantering and just like and it's like do all paras know each other I'm like no we only just met with you and it's like you wouldn't get that with our second battalion I'm like really it's like no we hate each other I'm like do you know what do you know what the creates that though is that the just the mere fact that there's a selection for Power Reg.

SPEAKER_00 19:35

That that if yeah that is the main driving force without the blood clot. Yes the ethos yeah because uh it's that common common understanding that you we we people with this wearing this beret with this cat badge have uh have done harder things than what most of the the the rest of the military have done to get into this unit you know is the reality of it it's the importance of selection criteria and what for any any unit has a selection criteria it's hugely important is there for a reason. One is yeah and one of those reasons is to uh you know to make sure that they are filtering in the level of quality into the units that they need and no lower. Exactly anyway it's earn not given yeah exactly exactly anyway um okay we're gonna go for one more question before we cut this short because I want enough time for the podcast we're not rushing that uh but there are a bunch of questions you're can I answer them after yeah on the full podcast we'll have time there and we can get through after that but one more question from here for the icebreaker and this is from David uh you spent 24 years in the parachute regiment and SFSG what part of that experience shaped how you lead people in the civilian world today all of it because during my time I've had some real toxic shitty leaders and I've had some amazing ones and I've had some average ones but all of them have shaped how I think about leadership um it's like a prime example of just taking people at face value irrespective of what others have said and then forming your own opinion um I absolutely believe in that because I've seen it where people have said things about individuals that the the the other person just took it at face value and then after working with that person they were going oh shit they're actually a good bloke yeah so for me take people at face value yes acknowledge that somebody said something but just keep it in the back of your head and make the assessment yourself so for me it's autonomy accountability um and just treating people with the the same amount of respect that you'd expect for yourself and then from there you then know whether a person's good or bad or lazy and then you can then adjust your leadership style to manage them because not everybody can be led the same way some people like to be shouted at some people just like to be talked to some people like more explanation than others and others are quite happy with this is what I wanted to do.

SPEAKER_01 22:41

This is why okay they don't need any further context others will ask about 20 more questions around that going well what about this what about that and you just Like pause. We're doing this. Let's worry about the rest of it later. So I would say all of it has shaped me from a young Tom to leaving as a senior NCO. All of it is the experiences that you gain working with individuals, um, becoming an NCO yourself, and then understanding how individuals work because you get blocks that say, Oh, you've changed, but you haven't, they think you have changed, but you haven't, you're still the same person. You're just applying the next level of management into your scenarios because you've got responsibilities and accountability is a big thing in the reg, as we all know.

SPEAKER_00 23:32

Okay, let's take a break. Um, we so for people live streaming, we're gonna be about five minutes before we come back with the whole podcast. If you listen to this on your podcast app, it's gonna roll straight into the next episode in the H hour playlist, which is gonna be the full podcast with Rowan. So uh enjoy while you are while that is rolling into the intro of the next episode. Go on to Patreon and become a fucking Patreon.

SPEAKER_01 23:56

Yeah, do it now.

SPEAKER_00 23:57

Yeah, do it now. Do it now. God damn it, feed the gingers, yes, right.