Their Next Story

The better your work gets, the more people show up wanting a piece of it. Most of them mean well. Some of them don't, and the hard part is they can look exactly the same.

This episode is about the opportunist. The person who studies how to look like your friend, says the perfect thing at the perfect moment, and positions themselves right next to your success the second there's something to gain. I get into how to tell the loyalist from the opportunist, why your decency is the exact thing they count on, and the tells that give them away before they cost you.

This isn't about trusting no one. It's about discernment, the kind that protects your good work and the people counting on you. Because a lack of vigilance doesn't stay contained. It turns into confusion, then chaos, and sometimes it takes the whole thing down.

Trust isn't a feeling. Trust is time. Make them earn it.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:43

I am so happy that you're here. And that can only mean one thing. You are ready for some real talk. So I feel like this topic today might need a disclaimer. So let me just put this out there. This is not a scare you moment. This and actually all of my podcasts are meant to give you legit insight on things that could impact your role as a leader. Okay? So that being said, today we are going to be talking about the opportunist. Good work attracts people. Okay? That part is great. We know that, we love that. But it does not only attract the people you want. The better your work gets, the more visible you become, the more you start to matter, the more you attract people who want a piece of what you're building. And not all of them came to help. Here is the part that should get your attention. When you are doing good work and you stop paying attention to who is circling it, that lack of vigilance does not just sit and be quiet. It turns into confusion. Confusion turns into chaos. And in some cases, right, it takes the whole thing down. Good work with no vigilance is how strong leaders end up watching the thing they've built come apart. I want to talk about the one person you have to watch for, not your enemy, your enemy you see coming. I am talking about the person who studied how to look like your friend. And yes, in this case, again, I am speaking from personal experience. But you know the type. Even if you've never put a name on it, the one who slides into your world right as things are going well for you. They are warm, they are sharp, they are so easy to talk to. They paint themselves as a victim of something or the savior of something. And somehow, inside of a couple of conversations, you feel like you have known them for years, like you are one of them, like you are on the same side. That feeling is the product. They manufactured it. Because here's the thing about an opportunist: their only goal is their own agenda. And they will move anyone out of the way to get there, including you, the second you stop being useful. They're not evil in the cartoon sense, they're something more dangerous. They are smart and they have taken that intelligence and turned it into a weapon pointed straight at your trust, and they will keep it pointed there until you no longer serve the story. I know this sounds dark, but this is the reality. At least for some in some cases. So why you? Why does this keep finding good leaders? Well, because your decency is the door. An opportunist does not waste time on the cold, closed-off, suspicious leader. There's no opening there. They go after the one who wants to do right by people, the one who gives others the benefit of the doubt. The one who believes the best about a person until they're shown otherwise. The exact qualities make you a good leader are the same exact qualities they are counting on. That is the trap. The part of you that is generous, that is open, that is trying to do the right thing, that is the part they use. And if you are not careful, you let that part of you overshadow what is sitting right in front of your face. So let me give you the pattern because once you see it, you cannot unsee it. They show up at the moment of your significance, not before, when there was nothing to gain. They were nowhere to be found at that time, but significance showed up, they're there. The timing is always the tell. They show up around the things you control, the opportunity, the budget, the access, the platform. So watch what they are positioning toward, not what they are saying. And they're exceptional networkers, but not the way you think. They're not good at working a room. They are good at working a person. They study you, they learn exactly what to say in a tender moment, in a fearful moment, in a high stakes moment. When somebody says the perfect thing at the perfect time, understand that is not always chemistry. Sometimes that is homework. Now I know exactly where your head might go with all of this. Trust no one. Assume everybody's working an angle, wall it all off. Don't do that. And don't let this message allow you or give you permission to do that. That is not the lesson, and that is its own kind of failure. Because a leader who trusts no one is just as broken as a leader who trusts everyone. They just fail more quietly. They lose the real allies, the genuine people, the ones who were actually for them, because they started treating every single person like a suspect. And let me be clear: there are real people coming to you, real allies, people who genuinely need what you can offer and would never take a thing from you that you did not give freely. They exist and they deserve better than any paranoia. So this is not about suspicion, it is about discernment. And discernment runs on two things: time and history. A person's history will tell you who they are at their core, not who they say they are, what they have actually done to actual people when it costs them something. Can people change? Yes, of course. But you read the pattern first and you let them prove the exception. You don't hand them the exception up front and then just hope. Now, if you've been here for some time, you know I love an analogy. So here we go. So picture this: a young person you love, that can be your child, your sibling, your relative, your niece, your nephew, a young person. You love them, and they come to you and tell you that they are about, they're about to go all in on somebody. I'm talking move in, merge everything to include finances, full commitment. Now, this is someone they met three weeks ago. No questions, no time, just feelings and vibes, right? Now, let's keep it real. You would lose your mind. I lose my I would lose my mind. Right? You would say, slow down, watch what they do, not what they say. Notice how they treat people who can do nothing for them. You may even say, hey, pay attention to who they become when things are not going their way. Give it time because there is no such thing as love at first sight. There is infatuation at first sight, but love is observation. Love is time. Love is what's still standing after you've actually watched someone for a while, right? That's the advice you would give. So here's what I need you to do: take that exact advice, the advice you would give that child, that young person, without hesitating for a second and turn it on yourself as a leader. There is no love at first sight, and there is no trust at first sight either. Trust is observation, trust is time. You do not hand it over because someone made you feel like family within a week. You have to let people earn it, the same way you would tell that young person to make that person that they're trying to move in with earn it. Here's the line I want you to leave with. Every opportunist is the hero of their own story. And that kind of story always needs a supporting character. Somebody to use, somebody to climb, somebody to leave behind when the next chapter starts. Their story does not end with you, and it never does. So the only question that matters is this are you an ally they earned, or are you about to be a chapter in their next story? Don't be afraid to make them show you which one before you decide. Because understand, this was never really about them. It is about the work. The thing you're building is worth protecting. And vigilance, vigilance is not paranoia. It is how you protect it. Your judgment is not a nice to have in this role. Your judgment is the job. Hey, if this episode landed for you, please reach out to me. Send me an email at Kim at the KPAdvisory Group.com. Visit me on my website. I want to hear from you. Tell me what resonated. This is Leadership After Five, where we keep it real over here. I'll see you in the next episode. Take care.