The Real Reason You’re Procrastinating

In this episode, I talk about that weird switch where one minute you’re insanely productive and the next you’re suddenly avoiding one single task like it personally attacked you. I break down why procrastination is really just anxiety, perfectionism, and mental overwhelm in disguise, and how it shows up in everyday habits without us even realizing it. I also share simple ways to get unstuck, stop spiraling, and actually start doing the thing without making it a whole production.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

I spent years perfecting the highlight rail, the corporate title, the Put Together Mom Act. I was the person that everyone leaned on because I was the girl that could fix everything. I'm Lauren Lizzie and I am finally done pretending. Welcome to Just Can't Help Myself. A space for the overthinkers, the deep feelers, and everyone in between.

SPEAKER_00 0:21

Has anyone else suddenly become the most productive person alive when there's one specific thing you really don't want to deal with? If you answered yes to that question, I can honestly say, same. Recently, there was something important I needed to do. And instead of doing it, I decided to call my aunt Julie. She answers the phone and she asks, Hey honey, um, what are you up to? And I was like, procrastinating and not doing something that I need to get done. And she's like, Oh, I do the same. So, of course, then in true Lauren fashion, my brain immediately starts running. Like, okay, now I have some thoughts. Uh-oh. Um, started stirring up questions like, wait, why do we do this? What actually causes procrastination? And why do some tasks feel heavier than others? And what can we do to help ourselves get out of that cycle? And so that's what brought me to the topic we're discussing today. We're talking procrastination. Exclamation point. So, why is it that the second there's something you really need to do, suddenly everything else in your life becomes more important? Like the laundry, reorganizing your drawers. You've decided that now is the best time to check for and respond to any text messages you may have missed or forgotten to reply to. Suddenly, you're the taskmaster, the captain of side quests. You're doing basically anything or everything else but what you need to. Now, I can give you another perfect example from my own life. So there's this closet in my house that I had been ignoring for who knows how long. But somehow, the minute there was another task I was emotionally dreading, suddenly I'm like, you know what? Now feels like the perfect time to reorganize the whole closet instead. All of a sudden I was fully committed to doing it. Listen, I have to mention that closet looks impeccable now. We'll see how long that lasts. But it really looks really nice. So I had cleaned out the closet, but the most important thing on my to-do list still existed. From the outside, procrastination can actually look like you're getting a lot done. But internally, you know, damn well you're just circling the tasks that you're dreading. Now listen, I'm not saying all busy work is a problem, but it's what some busy work is distracting us from that can become a problem. I thought it was important to mention that procrastination doesn't always equate to like laziness or um poor time management. Sometimes it's the fear of the outcome, fear of disappointing people, fear of confrontation. Um, sometimes it's perfectionism. I think for me, procrastination and perfectionism go hand in hand sometimes. Because when I commit to something, I've never been someone who just quickly throws something together and moves on. I know I'm going to put a lot of energy and time into it. I know I'm going to put a lot of pressure on myself to make it the best it can possibly be, which is exhausting. Um, just thinking about what I plan to put into something can feel exhausting, um, intimidating. And, you know, the anticipation can really become so much bigger than the task itself, but yet we still decide to put it off. You know, the truth is, um, putting off those important things doesn't save us. It can end up uh resulting in increased stress and anxiety anyway. And I mean, who really needs more? Now, I've used some methods in the past to try to avoid procrastinating. Um, but listen, that doesn't mean I apply all methods all the time. I mean, let's be real. But they have proven to uh have been helpful at times. I personally love a checklist. If I create a checklist, it's almost becomes a challenge for me. And suddenly I'm in competition with myself. So I'm like, check, check, checking things off the list because to me, it feels gratifying as shit. I can have a habit of putting things off when it comes to things I need to do for myself. I thought for sure there must be more important things uh to do for others first. Um, like a good example for me is uh calling and making appointments for myself. I'll think about it, keep meaning to do it, but keep putting it off. Sometimes I'll even ask my boyfriend sometimes, like, hey, I need to make a few appointments for myself. Can you remind me if I still haven't done it? And he'll remind me too. Um, he's like, you need to make these appointments because, you know, your health matters too. And honestly, I think accountability um can really help. Um, you know, sometimes we need someone outside of ourselves to gently remind us that the things involving our own well-being matter too. Now, that also can include self-care, maybe going to the gym, getting your nails done, maybe a massage if you can, um, because you deserve some self-care too. It's important. Another big thing uh that has that has helped me is breaking a task or tasks into smaller, manageable steps. Because sometimes when we look at something as such a big production, we stress and then immediately we're looking for distractions. Um, I have definitely at times vented to my therapist. I'll go in there and I'll start listing all of the million things I have to do or other things I have to get done. I'm like, the list is so big, I don't think I'll ever finish them and I don't know where to even start. And she's like, well, here, you you have tax doing your taxes on the list. They're not due yet. You have time to do them like next week or the week after that, or the week after that. Oh, you know, it's probably also important to mention that I met with her like a few months ago. Um, so I did get my taxes done and they were done in time, okay? But anyway, my therapist basically just broke down each task I needed to do and when they were necessary to get done. Then suddenly it was like this weight had been lifted, and the list felt a lot less dramatic. And then I'm like, then I'm like annoyed with her, like, yeah, well, you know, it all sounds uh a lot simpler when you're thinking logically, okay? But really, it was helpful to vent and get an outsider's perspective. Um, I completed the list, and the exhausting part was really just carrying it around mentally all day, and you know, feeling guilty about avoiding it. You know, so then I completed the list, and really the exhausting part was, you know, just carrying it around mentally all day and you know, feeling guilty about avoiding it. You know, it makes me think of um advice that I've given my kids when it comes to laundry. I'm like, don't let it pile up to the point where it becomes this giant mountain, like literally a giant mountain of close. But I think we can all say we've been in that situation um at some point. But instead, uh do just a little at a time. Um, sometimes we can start piling up tasks mentally um the same way we do laundry. Of course, once I recognized this pattern, I of course started to notice it on reality TV. Uh, for example, um, when cast members become hyper-focused on side drama to avoid the real issues, or suddenly people become extremely busy to avoid conversations that, you know, could involve needing to take some accountability uh for things they've done. You know, or they become defensive, they start, you know, fixing on tiny details of the conversation because they'd rather do that than potentially have a conversation that could involve being vulnerable or admitting that they were hurt or that they were wrong. You'll see someone obsessed over a text message or a rumor or who didn't support them enough when really deep down the issues are hurt feelings, insecurities, um, or resentment. But I mean, we can't judge them, right? Because I think we all can do versions of this in our own lives. Reality TV just puts these avoidance patterns on a latter stage. Okay. So a challenge for me and you. Uh this week, pay attention to the task that you keep avoiding. Don't judge yourself for it. Show yourself some compassion. Um, you know, ask yourself what feels so emotionally heavy about it. What feeling it is you're trying to avoid. Take one small step if you can and stop waiting for the perfect mood to do it. Because chances are in that mood, you're never gonna have the perfect mood, right? So we just gotta do it. Um, you know, so like maybe let's not clean the entire house today. Um, maybe just start with the kitchen counter. Um, or sometimes seriously, just making it through the day really is enough. Also, really go ahead and make that appointment that I know you've been putting off. I wanted to share three weekly wins. Um, my three weekly wins. Um one thing was I finally finished that important thing that I needed to do that I told you I was procrastinating by calling my aunt instead. I would say the second win um was that I felt great once I had completed it. And I also didn't allow myself to overanalyze it like I usually do. Um, I did it, um, didn't overanalyze it, and then I let it go. My third win, honestly, will be if even one person uh listening related to something I shared um and it made them feel a little less alone. I would really love to hear from you guys too. Um like, is there something you've been procrastinating, um, something you finally completed that you felt really proud of afterwards? Or maybe if you could share some things that have personally helped you when you have felt stuck like this? If so, uh please share it in the comments below. Um, because honestly, I think that hearing others' experiences um can help us too. Thank you for listening to this episode of Just Can't Help Myself. Um, if you're interested in being a guest, I would seriously love to have you. Please DM me. My Instagram handles are at just can't help myselfpod and as well as at exclusively.lizzy. New episodes will be dropping every Thursday weekly. I hope you have a great day, and I'll talk to you next week.