From the Ground Up with Anabel Montenegro

Download my free mini-ebook: It's About Damn Time: The Self Check for Women Leaders Who Work Their Ass Off, Play By the Rules, and STILL Get Passed Over.

This one is close to my heart.

I’m sitting down with Anabel Montenegro, founder of Montenegro Hair, self-made entrepreneur, powerhouse businesswoman, and one of my favorite humans.

We talk about what it really takes to build something from the ground up. The risk. The grit. The quiet moments no one sees. And how friendship, faith in yourself, and showing up on hard days shape the kind of leader you become.

No highlight reels. No fluff. Just a real conversation about growth, business, and becoming the woman who backs herself when no one else can.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

So we are back, and I am thrilled to have you with me today. So it's been so fun getting kind of this podcast off the ground and being able to do it with women that I respect, that I have learned a tremendous amount from. And what's been neat about it is every relationship that I've had on so far has started kind of in one area and then migrated into a completely different area. And so Annabelle came into my life because I was actually, and I had to think about this. I was like, how long have I known her? And I started thinking, yeah, and I was like, okay, I mean, you weren't married. No. You didn't have a baby. No. AJ was a baby. Like I was- Yeah. You were still married. Yes, I was. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Not anymore. Hallelujah. But when I really started thinking about it, I remembered and it made me laugh. So I was supposed to, I'd been invited to be on a panel at a conference. And I'd gone to somebody to get my hair done. Because my long-term hair person, um, Anna, had moved from El Paso to Albuquerque, and I didn't have anybody. So I went to somebody, and I'll just say I ended up with like tiger stripes going down the back where she had done highlights. And so it was literally just these lines down the back of my head. And I was like, Oh my god, what am I gonna do?

SPEAKER_01 1:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:28

And I ran into Amy, which funny enough is going to be recording a podcast with me.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 1:33

She introduced us. Amy said, I have the perfect person.

SPEAKER_01 1:37

She's so sweet.

SPEAKER_03 1:38

Yeah. And I walked in and I met you, and the energy was incredible.

SPEAKER_01 1:43

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 1:44

And so you saved me in the moment. Um, and little did I know there was gonna be a lifelong friendship that came out of that. Lessons that were hard-earned, but that you helped me learn. Um, and I think we've been kind of with each other, navigating different things. Um just growing together. Very much so. Growing. Very much so. And for you, I always looked up to you because it was you were an entrepreneur. You did this thing, you built a business, you built your brand. Um, and that was something I always thought, man, one of these days, I want to do that. One of these days.

SPEAKER_01 2:22

And look at you now.

SPEAKER_03 2:23

Yeah, and here I here I am trying to build my own brand.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

Yeah, you are building your own brand. That's fair. That's fair.

SPEAKER_03 2:30

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 2:31

Because it's so easy to start, but to get it going, that's where people get stuck.

SPEAKER_03 2:36

I heard freeze. Yes, I learned so people have heard me say that, and I know you have. Like sometimes the only available mode of transportation is a leap of faith. Yes. And so that's one of my favorites. But I heard one yesterday um with, and I think it was Dean Graziosi that said it, but he said, Sometimes you just have to jump out of the plane and hope that your wings come in on the way to the ground.

SPEAKER_01 3:01

Right.

SPEAKER_03 3:01

And I thought that so describes kind of the last year of my life.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

What you've been doing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:08

Hoping that they show up before you go splat on the ground.

SPEAKER_01 3:12

Right.

SPEAKER_03 3:12

That would be beneficial. Yes. So we talked about, or you mentioned, obviously, when I first met you, I was married. And so you were there as I navigated divorce and you know, those sorts of things. And um, we were laughing a little bit before we started recording about kind of your your marriage now and your relationship. And I just my journey. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So talk maybe a tiny bit about that, what you're comfortable sharing. Um, in kind of going from a woman who was looking for a partner at one point and then had kind of decided, I'm gonna live my life.

SPEAKER_02 3:51

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 3:51

Um, maybe it'll give me a little bit of hope because I'm in the place where I'm living my life.

SPEAKER_01 3:56

I hope it gives every woman hope. Yeah. Because I think, I mean, everybody would tell me, oh, you know, the right guy will find you. It's gonna be in your own time. You need to work on yourself. And I was just like, shut the F up. Like, I am tired of this shit, you know?

SPEAKER_03 4:16

I've already worked on myself.

SPEAKER_01 4:17

Yeah, yes, and I'm tired of dating and I'm tired like of putting myself out there. Like, it's it's hard. Yeah, it was hard.

SPEAKER_03 4:25

It's scary, it's exhausting too.

SPEAKER_01 4:27

Yeah, yes, yes, and then finally I just told myself, like, I'm gonna choose me, I'm gonna come first. If I don't like something about somebody, if there is a red flag, I'm just gonna say no thank you. Yeah, and that is that. And right off the bat, I I'm a woman of faith and prayer. So when I started dating again, it was kind of like, God, if this man isn't for me, take him away. Yeah, take him away immediately, yeah, and something would come out and he would be gone. And then somebody else would come in, and it was like, God, if this isn't the man for me, please take him away. Like, I was just done wasting my time. Yeah, like wasting my time with pendejos.

unknown 5:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:18

Yeah. And I was just like, no, no, Mark. And when I really like worked on myself, poured into myself, I think that's when the shift happened. Happened. And I meet this guy, but it's so weird because for my 36th birthday, my wish was to have a child. Yeah, I remember. I don't care who it was gonna be with. If I was gonna go and find a sperm donor, yeah, I was gonna do that. Yeah. And on my birthday, the actual like the 14th of July, I meet Josh. Yeah. Yep. And after that, it was just like an instant like connection. And I was like, okay, this man is just like looking at me all the time, like, what is going on? And after that, like he ended up finding me through Instagram, and then it just kind of begin began to roll. And again, I was like, okay, this is too good to be true. When's the shoe gonna drop? Yes, and I was like, I'm gonna say my prayer. And if God takes them away, that's okay. And no, and then I saw like these little signs, like I would always see 555. That was like my number, I would always see it everywhere. And I asked him, like, Oh, what time are you going in today? And he's like, 555. I'm like, why would he say that? Like, so specifically, yeah, yes, and I was like, okay, and I think two weeks into dating, he's like, I want you to meet my family, all of my family. It's gonna be a party, the theos, the fias, grandma. Everybody's gonna be there, yes. And I was like, Oh my gosh, this is happening, yeah. So, yeah, like six months later, we were married. Yeah, and a week after that, we find out we're pregnant.

SPEAKER_03 7:17

I love it, I love it.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

And then it was COVID, yeah. So we navigated through that very, very hard time. My business got got shut down. My dad was very, very sick. Um, I was pregnant. Yeah, he like the academy closed, right? So we everything paused. We were in a house, my dad, my roomie, because I was like, girl, just stay here. Like, Josh is gonna be out of town for six months, like just stay here.

SPEAKER_03 7:51

You're good, yes.

SPEAKER_01 7:53

My dad was there, and then he comes back in. We're with each other 24-7. So if we manage to go through that, yeah, I think we're do anything.

SPEAKER_03 8:06

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 8:07

But I love those times, like those times were so good.

SPEAKER_03 8:11

I remember when you were selling like the product to go kits, yeah. And I was calling you, and I mean, you know, I still I was a nurse and running a hospital, I was a CEO, I had to keep going to work, and so I told you I remember calling you, and I was like, What am I gonna do? My gray roots are like down to my ears now. Um, but I remember pulling up and we're all masked. I'm masked in my car, and you and Josh were masked, and you were meeting clients to hand out. I mean, you found a way. I found a way, and you guys survived. And here you are all these years later, brand new location.

SPEAKER_01 8:48

I know we had to move. So that was like, you know, yeah, another journey.

SPEAKER_03 8:53

And yet it's fantastic. I think it's bigger than the other one. We doubled, yeah, and now there's room for more growth inside there, and like I said, I just look I'm so proud of you, first of all, because you did that by yourself. I did. You that you built, share the name Montenegro Salon. Montenegro your salon, which I love. Yeah, but I think I look at all of that, and like I said, one pride, because I just I'm so proud of you for everything you've navigated. I think, you know, when you touched on kind of that shift where you felt like, okay, I'm just gonna pour into myself, I'm gonna, and what's gonna happen is gonna happen. And I think, you know, one of the things I share and have shared is for a lot of my life, um, and I'm not like I don't believe you're ever healed. I don't think it's like linear and you're broken and then oh, I'm healed. I think it's a it's a journey, but I feel like my biggest struggle probably universally in my life was with a sense of or a lack of sense of worthiness. So if I just achieved more, climbed higher, you know, got this accolade or that award, um my my dad would be proud, my parents would be proud, my you know, whatever that was.

SPEAKER_02 10:13

Right.

SPEAKER_03 10:14

And I think, you know, we were talking earlier, I was on dating apps and I tried that. And so I tried the whole first my funny stuff in the book where I shared in the dumpster fire of online dating chapter. But I started off as Ali RN. I'm a nurse. Yes, and then I went on a few dates, and one of them we'd been on five or six dates, and then he reaches out with a picture, sends me a picture of my portrait in the hospital um lobby, and he said, I thought you said you were a nurse. This says you're the CEO of the place. Um, and so then I decided, okay, well, then if I'm gonna date, I'm gonna be me. Like I worked my butt off.

SPEAKER_02 10:51

Right.

SPEAKER_03 10:51

I climbed, I earned the role, so I'm gonna own it. And so I changed on my dating profile that I was a hospital CEO. Well, then first it evaporated as far as interest. Like there was just nothing, it was dead.

SPEAKER_01 11:06

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 11:06

And then a few kind of trickled in, and I went on two dates as Allie CEO. And the first one um actually asked me if I had an income requirement for dating. Interesting. And I kind of laughed because I didn't know what to say to that.

SPEAKER_02 11:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:23

And I said, Well, I don't know how to answer that. I've never been asked that question.

SPEAKER_02 11:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:26

And I said, Um, I guess gainfully employed and you can cover dinner. And he he chuckled and we laughed about it. Um, and we went on a couple dates and it didn't go anywhere. The second one I went on as Ali CEO, the bill comes and it just sits there. And I thought, I'm not doing this.

SPEAKER_01 11:43

Right.

SPEAKER_03 11:44

Like you contacted me, you asked me to go on a date, like I'm not picking up the bill. I made a lot of mistakes dating and going into a marriage that I was determined not to repeat. And so I wasn't gonna be the breadwinner, I wasn't gonna carry the weight again. Um, and so I think for me, off all the apps, I've been off the apps for several years now and have convinced myself I'm not going back there. But I think for me at this point was the decision to do exactly what you said, and I made that decision about a year ago, pouring into me, yes, um, working on the things about me that I need to improve because there's tons, um, focusing on my son and raising a good human, um, and living my life. And I think for you, yes, for you. And I think that's one of the things I'm so grateful because having to travel so much for work, like I have no problem going into a bar and sitting down and having a drink alone. I have no issue going to a movie by myself. I've taken solo trips, you know that. That's one of my favorite things, go somewhere by myself. Um, but I hope other women that are listening to this can see I'm not there yet, and I'll share if I ever get there. But the reality of pouring into yourself and choosing you, I think is a game changer. It is, and not just in dating, but life in general. It's like I think as women, we forget to put ourselves on our own priority list. We do, yeah. And I think, you know, I my biggest lesson that I would say I learned from you specifically, um, I've always been the fixer, um, the giver, the doer, the the showing up for everybody else. Is everybody else okay? Yeah, and there's a lot of us that are like that, and you have that in you. I do. Um, but you taught me the, and I think it is an art, and I think it is a skill, um, but to learn how to receive.

SPEAKER_01 13:43

Oh, yes, receiving is big.

SPEAKER_03 13:45

Yeah. And that was not my jam. Yes. I'm I'm the person at Christmas, or you know, it's a birthday party and there's gifts, and I don't want to open my stuff in front of anybody. I'm mortified, I'm so uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

Right.

SPEAKER_03 13:58

Um, anybody doing something for me, I always felt like it was gonna be thrown back in my face later. I did all of this stuff for you.

SPEAKER_02 14:06

Right.

SPEAKER_03 14:06

And so I had really gotten to a point where I was incapable of receiving.

SPEAKER_02 14:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:13

And I don't know if you remember those conversations. I do. Yeah. Yes. You willing to share a little bit about it and what you told me?

SPEAKER_01 14:21

Oh, I well, which one were you trying to?

SPEAKER_03 14:25

I think the one really it was, I would say it was more of an intervention. And it was you and you, I mean, Norma's already been on, but we didn't talk about that. But it was really more of an intervention with you and Norma when we went to it, wasn't Nomel then.

SPEAKER_01 14:35

Oh no, yes, it was another one. Um yes, I do remember because Norma and I are kind of like, you know, on the same vibe. Kindred spirits a bit. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 14:48

And I knew y'all would love each other.

SPEAKER_01 14:50

We yes, automatically, instantly, like she looked at me, she was like, You're Annabelle. I'm like, Yes, Norma. Um you both had pink hair. We both had pink hair. Yeah, and yeah, it was nice because it was like her and I were teaming up to build you up and support you. And that day, I think you were actually open to listening to us because there's a difference, right? Like you can hear somebody, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, I got it. But I think that day you really like just opened your heart, yeah. Um, your awareness, you opened something up because I think you really understood what we were trying to tell you. Yeah. Of like, it's okay to be taken care of, like just be open to it. Why not? Yeah, like it's it's a balance. Like, yes, you give a little, but it's always so nice to receive.

SPEAKER_03 15:47

Yeah. I think, and I remember that day, I mean, vividly. Like, I can see where we were sitting in that restaurant. And I remember um, and you're right, I was going through a a painful situation um where I felt like I had really poured into someone um and and been the giver and was really hurting because it wasn't reciprocated. Um, and so we had this whole conversation about it. And I remember, and I I don't remember whether it was you or Norma that first said it, but then you all doubled down, and that was where the conversation went. But it was about the fact that if I don't learn how to open myself up to receiving, that eventually the universe is gonna be like, well, forget her, because she can't figure out how to receive, so quit giving her things, quit sending her the opportunities, quit opening the doors for her because she's unwilling to receive them.

SPEAKER_02 16:47

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 16:48

And I I remember looking back at that now and what I've navigated um over the last year, right? So a job loss um in October of last year that was abrupt and unexpected. And um, I remember getting home and you know that, finding all my shit from my office piled on my front porch. Um, but I think had you all not opened my mind to that, and it wasn't so much financial um, you know, money and and whatnot, I thank God was okay to take care of AJ and I. But it was the idea of kindness, support, support, receiving love from people.

SPEAKER_01 17:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:34

Um, I quit doing my nails and my hair and my everything because I was like, okay, I'm living on savings, so I'm not gonna do any of this. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_00 17:41

Yeah, no, and you did. You called.

SPEAKER_03 17:45

You called not doing this. I think you saw me on a video and were like, yeah, no, like you need to come visit me.

SPEAKER_02 17:52

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 17:52

Um, and I remember I crying and being like, I can't believe somebody would do that for me.

SPEAKER_01 17:59

Like Yeah, but you would do it for in a heart. You would bend over backwards and then give extra. Yeah. So why would why wouldn't you receive that? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:09

And I think it was such a powerful lesson. My eyes are wadding, but it was a very powerful lesson for me. Um, because it also, I talked in the book about how if you didn't know me or care about me or support me when I was Ali RN, don't come knocking all of a sudden that I'm Ally CEO.

SPEAKER_02 18:27

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 18:27

Um, and so I called them coattail people. Like I'm the same Ally. What's been interesting, and it could have been devastating and heartbreaking, but it wasn't. It was freeing when I went from Ali CEO to Ali unemployed. And very quickly, Ali self-employed and building, and to your point, building a brand and building a business, but to go from pretty much the top from a career perspective to nothing. And what was incredibly powerful and yes, scary as fuck, but powerful and empowering was to sit back and watch who kept showing up. I have nothing to give you, I have no influence to help you get a promotion or a raise or a better job, I have no extra money to be paying if we go somewhere or we do something. Who are the people that are still there?

SPEAKER_01 19:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:28

And I think had I not learned from you and from Norma to be able to accept support, accept kindness. I mean, I remember, you know, my family situation and some estrangement there, and holidays are tough.

SPEAKER_02 19:45

Right.

SPEAKER_03 19:46

And I remember, you know, probably the hardest one was two years ago because it was fresh and it had just happened.

SPEAKER_02 19:52

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 19:53

Um, and I didn't have AJ, and I was home by myself, and it's Christmas Eve, and it was depressing. And I'm thinking, oh my gosh, is this my life? And then the doorbell rang. And I went and I answered the door, and there you stood. And you had a precious gift for me. And Amelia was crashed out in the back seat in the car seat. So we stood on the porch. Yeah. And we talked for a little bit. But it's those things that I think, well, I don't think, I know that one, they shaped me, they helped, you know, continue to refine who I am as a human, how I want to show up for other people. Um, reiterated to me the fact that there is so much worth in showing up for other people that way.

SPEAKER_02 20:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:39

I think when you've done it for others, right, it feels good. I enjoy doing that. I do too. Like for sure. I get a high off of that. I took a woman yesterday to lunch. I do my thing every year where I post on Facebook, okay. Anybody that likes my post and interacts with it, you know, on whatever date I say, I'm gonna pick one of you, and you'll get some little something from me. I love that if you repost this and you do the same thing. And so I stole it, I don't remember who I stole it from, probably five or six years ago. But I took her to lunch yesterday and um had a goodie bag with her. It was all self-care stuff, and she lost her husband unexpectedly, has three young kids. Um, and she was the PTA queen at WIGS, and that's how I got to know her was at AJ School. But that to me feels good. That to me is fun. And so I think then being on the other side of that, I didn't know what to expect. It was like how weird. It does uncomfortable. It was very crunchy.

SPEAKER_02 21:43

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 21:43

I was like, oh, I don't really love this, it's super uncomfortable. Um, and I was teasing you the other day because I was like, you probably cuss out the day that you taught me how to receive because I keep showing up to receive from you. But had I not learned that from you? Like I don't I can't imagine the last really two and a half years of my life.

SPEAKER_01 22:05

You would get through it. It would have just been a lot harder.

SPEAKER_03 22:08

Yeah. Yeah. You have a good support team. So it's incredible. Yeah. I talk about my tribe all the time because I don't I can say truthfully, uh I would have survived it because I have AJ. And so with a why that powerful, I am not going down. Exactly. But it wouldn't have been fun. Like for you. And I think that was the difference is that you taught me, and I talk about it a lot now. You taught me that if we're not on our own priority list, if we're not taking care of us, and you say it differently, and you say it much more eloquently. And no, you're you and Norma have that vibe. I'm just Allie. And so it comes out differently. But I think had I not learned that from you all, I really can't imagine the last few years of my life.

SPEAKER_01 22:55

Be harder. Yeah. But I'm glad that you're on a different path.

SPEAKER_03 22:59

Oh my god. Yes. And I'm following in the footsteps of you and Norma as an entrepreneur, which is super fun and very scary.

SPEAKER_01 23:07

Your dream is coming true. Yeah.

unknown 23:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:09

And it is scary. I know, like the first I think opening up my business was so easy and fun, and picking out colors and doing all the things. And then when I opened the doors, I was like, oh shit. Now I now I have to figure things out. Now I have to be, you know, the content creator, the scheduler, the team leader, the everything.

SPEAKER_03 23:36

Yeah. And especially in a in a you know, in your it's a service industry. And when we are providing a service to people, it's it's almost heavier because it's like you gotta make sure. I was laughing. Um, I mean, you know, I've had plastic surgery. I don't hide that. Um, I joke around and I'm actually gonna have Wendy Dr. Grumberg's coming on.

SPEAKER_01 23:59

Nice. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:00

So I'm trying to figure out how we can go and do it live because the two of us together are just ridiculous. And so I'm like, that one needs to be in person, but she's in San Antonio. But I think she posted one yesterday that I shared that you go look at it, but I was laughing because in your industry, in her industry, clients expect perfection. There isn't room for, oh, I got the color a little wrong. Right. Oh shoot, I cut a little more off than they wanted. Like I think when you're providing a service, it's a little bit different than when you're like selling goods, right? Yes, it is different, and I think you have a lot of really long-term clients. I mean, Amy referred me to you, so Amy was already yours. I've been with you now at least nine years.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

Yeah, and I've been doing hair for about 17 years. It's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 24:53

How did you make the change from working in a salon, right? Like being part of somebody else's business to making the decision and jumping out on your own.

SPEAKER_01 25:01

I think there was a lot of factors in play. My parents are both business owners, so maybe that little seed was already planted in my in my head. And I believe in manifestation, I believe in vision boards, and I had told myself, in five years, you're gonna open up your own salon. That was that, and I, you know, my first salon, I loved it, I grew there. Okay, it's time to move on. Yeah, moved on to the next salon, and all my clients followed me. Yeah, and then which says a ton about you. Yeah, it does. Thank you. It does. And I was there for three and a half years. There was some things that were going on, and I just wasn't 100% happy there. And I was like, Well, what's the next step? Yeah, open up my own place, and it happened like right at the five-year mark. Yeah. Luckily, I am very blessed. I have my dad who is a contractor, and I had a meeting with him, and I was like, Dad, like, I think I'm ready. He's like, Oh, okay, well, how much money do you have saved? Like, what do you need to do? Like, have you found the place? Blah, blah, blah, blah. And my mom helped me find the place. Yep. And then after that, like, I think the next day, I was like, Where do I sign? Come on, let's do this.

SPEAKER_03 26:27

Yeah. I remember when you told me and you were like, Well, I'm gonna go look. My mom called. Yeah, there's some place up here that's coming available, and I think I'm gonna go check it out. And within like two weeks of that conversation, you were you were in. You were signing and ready.

SPEAKER_01 26:44

Signing. Oh my gosh, yes. And I think that's what I was, and I wanted to create a space where I can help like fellow beauticians like build their own clientele, love what they do, and not be told, like, oh, you're doing this perm. Oh, you're doing this kids cut. Like, no, I hated that at the first salon. Like, I wanted to do color, I wanted to do women's haircuts, makeup. Like, I just wanted to be in that control, and I didn't have that.

SPEAKER_03 27:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:19

With my second location, I was kind of like, well, I need to make money. Right? Yeah. Like, I need to make money. You gotta pay the rent. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, nobody at the salon wanted to do updos or makeup. So there I am at 7 a.m. doing all the bridal work, the makeup. And then after that, it was just like, okay, I gotta take care of my own clients, my color clients. And then when I opened up my my first salon, I was like, well, again, I'm gonna make money, right? Did the hustle. And then after that, I was like, no, I will no longer be doing this, this, and this. Yeah, I don't enjoy it. Focus on the things that I love, yeah, and I can really like pour into my clients.

SPEAKER_03 28:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:04

You know?

SPEAKER_03 28:04

Well, and you're constantly going to conferences and learning new things, which I also love.

SPEAKER_01 28:09

Yeah, yeah, it's like you have to grow. Like you trends are different, um, color is different. The way I used to apply color 10 years ago is like so different now. I love that. So, and they're fun, they're fun. Like it's work, but not work.

SPEAKER_03 28:26

I feel like I should have you were coming on today. I should have made you come at eight o'clock this morning and do my hair and makeup.

SPEAKER_01 28:31

Why not? Should have taken advantage.

SPEAKER_03 28:33

Well, you've done it for me multiple times when I've had big events or um even for all the fun stuff. And you're incredible at it. I love, I always say, Um, there's a sign, um, and I think I'd given you a magnet or something years ago that says I'm a beautician, not a magician.

SPEAKER_02 28:51

Not a magician.

SPEAKER_03 28:52

Um, but the reality is you are a magician because you transform people from when they walk in and when they walk out, but they're still them. And I think that's something that's different about your approach is that you can you can go anywhere and get your hair and your makeup done. But I feel like oftentimes you don't look like you anymore.

SPEAKER_01 29:12

Yeah. And I don't like that. Like I always say, like, I just enhanced your beauty, like it's still you.

SPEAKER_03 29:19

Yeah. And I think for me, that's huge. I tell you all the time, I only know how to be one person and good, bad, or ugly, that's me. And so I that was what drew me to you when you did my makeup the first time. I was like, oh wow, it's still me. I just look like a million dollars instead of just plain Jane, everyday Allie. Yes. So I love that.

SPEAKER_01 29:39

I think at the end of the day, like some stylists or some beauticians are like, I'm the artist, you know, like and no, you're my canvas. No, like you have to always like ask questions, like see what the person really wants. Like you can't, it's it's fun, I guess. Like, you know, if you're gonna do a photo shoot, like, yeah, that's your canvas. Yeah, but at the end of the day, like it's a real person that's gonna go out, that's gonna have you know, to meet people, like you want to meet them where they're at, right?

SPEAKER_03 30:10

Yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_01 30:11

But you and Norma were were talking about, yeah, very much so.

SPEAKER_03 30:15

Yes, and I think that's it, it really does cross in all areas of life.

SPEAKER_02 30:20

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 30:21

Meeting people where they are, whether it's you're talking about spirituality and things along those lines. Um, that's what Norma and I were kind of gearing it towards. But to me, it's in anything, it's in what we were talking about earlier, dating. Like you gotta be able to meet people where they are. You know, what are their I'm not interested in dating somebody that wants to have kids. God was smart, he gave me one that I'm trying desperately not to destroy and raise a good human out of. Um, but there are certain things where you do have to meet people where they are.

SPEAKER_01 30:49

Yes, we can't know everything. Every situation, like I have clients that sit in my chair, and again, like I want to pour into them and like tell them like all my wonderful little secrets, but if they're not ready to listen, it's okay. Yeah, like I have learned to shut my mouth. Yeah, I'm like, okay, we'll send them running. Yes, one day, one day you'll be open, and you know, hopefully you'll be receptive too. And hopefully I'll still be here wanting to share.

SPEAKER_03 31:16

Yeah. Yeah. Well, talk a little bit because you've you mentioned that. So you and Norma, when I talk and you said wavelength, the vibe is very similar. That's when I was like, you two have to meet each other. We're doing a birthday lunch, and so that's how that happened. But talk a little bit, um, you know, we talked about what Norma does. So, I mean, obviously you're a salon owner, um, but talk a little bit about some of the other things that you're interested in and that you do there. Which, by the way, you had a Botox party recently. Yes, and so when I had um, I had Nicole on that is the executive director for Center of Hope. And so I've said, when I make it big, when I make my first million, I think that's what I said, when I make my first million, she gets 10% for Center of Hope. And so what I'll say to you is when I when I get going, I'm coming to a Botox party. Because if you haven't noticed, like everything, everything for me is a facial expression. And so I joke that my what the fuck lines are they're deep enough now to be crevices.

SPEAKER_01 32:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 32:15

Um, so I'll be coming eventually, but not yet.

SPEAKER_01 32:18

We will see.

SPEAKER_03 32:18

Talk about some of your stuff.

SPEAKER_01 32:20

Yeah, we're bringing in a lot of um new services.

SPEAKER_02 32:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:24

I teamed up with one of my really good friends, May. She's uh NP.

SPEAKER_02 32:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:30

And we had our second Botox party. We are also gonna bring in IV therapy. We're gonna bring in exosomes.

SPEAKER_00 32:40

Y'all.

SPEAKER_01 32:41

So um, yeah, it's gonna be super cool. I have the space for it, so I thought, like, why not? Yeah. Amy and I are actually gonna team up too. Shut the front door. What is this? Yes, same thing. Botox, like all the good little at it. Yes, I mean, she knows all of that stuff. Yeah, so you know, just like opening up those doors like on social media. Like Amy saw that post and she's like, um, okay, Miss Ma'am, like you and I can take mom. And I was like, really? Okay, let's do it. Yeah, we are having our second sound bath at the salon. And that's Ada Seli. That is Ada Selly and my mother-in-law. Shh!

SPEAKER_03 33:24

I had no idea she was doing that. Okay. Yeah, she's got that same sort of innovation. I got it. She's incredible. And I would say I'd trade you mother-in-law's, but I ditched mine a long time ago. So we'll just share. Yeah, you'll keep her over Josh if it comes to it.

SPEAKER_01 33:42

Yeah, so I when I opened up my second salon, I wanted to bring in those kind of parties and events.

SPEAKER_02 33:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:51

So when I picked out my stations, the stations roll out. And we have this huge space, which is exactly what I was envisioning. That's awesome. So we have Araceli on one side, we have my mother-in-law on the other side. They're both doing their thing. Um, in the beginning of the sound bath, they had like a really nice meditation towards the end, another meditation, and I mean, everybody was just like floating on a cloud. Yeah, it was so beautiful. Like ladies that have never done this, some that have, and everybody was just like in a good mood and happy, and that's what I wanted to create. Yeah, I was so happy, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:39

Well, and I think you know, the piece about when you said you have to meet people where they are, right? And so, like on the episode, which is already out, that I did with Norma, I talked about the fact like my I think that day I wore my socks that say, Bitch, I am relaxed. Yeah, on purpose. Because when I went to see her the first time at Noble House, I went for a massage and cupping. That's what I went for. And she did it, and she did an incredible job, but the energy, I had never felt that with somebody working on me. So she's doing the massage and she's teaching me breathing techniques and doing other things. And then the next time I went in, it was a little bit more of that. And, you know, the tuning fork made an appearance and like some of these other things that I was like, well, okay, whatever, like what is this? Um, I was looking at it more of, you know, my neck hurts, my earlobes are attached, or my shoulders are attached to my earlobes, that sort of thing. And really, it came much more from a holistic perspective that I had not experienced before.

SPEAKER_01 35:40

And so I think again, it's like pouring into you. Yeah, like that felt good. Like just taking that hour, hour and a half, just to like go and get a massage, like giving that time to yourself, yeah, felt good.

SPEAKER_03 35:52

Yes. Well, and I wasn't starting to that.

SPEAKER_01 35:54

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 35:55

I mean, I I really wasn't. And I'm not, I mean, I was not some poor deprived person. I just mean my lifestyle time-wise, obligation-wise for you. Yes. And I would constantly say, Well, I don't have time, I don't have time, I don't have time, I don't have time. And then I realized if I don't make time, like this isn't gonna end well. And it was the same thing for counseling and finally going in and starting to talk to somebody that's a professional in that area to help. But I think I love the fact that there's so many parallels with you and Norma, and I think that's one of the reasons that the two of you hit it off so well. Um, and that I adore being around either one of you because the it's just an it's an energy. There's an energy to that. I remember um, you know, you did an access bars. Yes. Um, my very first one.

SPEAKER_01 36:46

Yeah. Um, and I think you were one of like my first clients. Oh, you asked me. Can I guinea pig you? Yes, that I kind of like opened up what I had learned because I know how it just like shifted my life. And so I was like, well, I think she's open now to just kind of like, you know, me talking about this. Yeah. And if you would have shut the door, I would have been okay. Right. Like, yeah, because I'll kind of hint a little here and there with some clients, not a lot of my clients. Um, but I know that the ones that are open to this, I'm like, hey, well, I offer this modality. I don't offer it to a lot of people. Right. But I think it would really help.

SPEAKER_02 37:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:31

And you were open to it right away, right off the bat. It's like, okay, sign me up. Let's try it. Let's do this. Yeah. And I was like, oh my gosh, this is awesome. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:40

And I mean, look what it shifted for you. Yeah. I remember, um, and I talked about this, I think, on when I had Norma on, but that first experience with access bars with you, it was very shortly thereafter that I started thinking about taking what I had been journaling and writing and navigating and envisioning figuring out a way to start sharing that with other people. And so I'd always just looked at it as journaling to help myself, right? And I had been so against it, you know, that I was like, how the hell is journaling? How is writing my shit down gonna help me? Um, and I've told anybody that'll listen, it changed my life. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:22

Um But it's something that you're physically doing to get it out of your system.

SPEAKER_03 38:27

Yes, it and you nailed it, and so it was very once I wrote it down, it was no longer in here chewing me up from the inside. Exactly. It was now on a piece of paper. The other thing that I didn't anticipate was that when you go back and you read it, and I I laugh when I share this with people because I feel like they're gonna diagnose me with like multiple personality or something, but when you go back and you read it, it's a third-person experience because now it's not you. You're reading something that you wrote, but it's a third-person experience instead of you it just ruminating, I guess, in your mind. And so it was that writing of those things, um, and through the work with you, and then through the work with Norma, that I started looking at it and going, this isn't normal. Yeah, nothing about any of this is normal. And for the first time, I started realizing that there was a possibility that maybe it wasn't just all me, that maybe there were other things going on, not saying I'm perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it was the very first time that I ever kind of realized like I don't own all of this, like I didn't cause all of this. This isn't not all my fault. And I think had it not been for those sessions with you, the work that I did with Norma, um, and that's what I love about your new space, is that now you're you're adding those things into what you're doing already. So it's almost more of like a holistic um spa-like environment.

SPEAKER_01 40:05

And that's what I wanted to create something like like a big umbrella to not only treat you from the outside, which I mean, I could see when your face is like when you look in the mirror, you just look in the mirror different once you're done. Yeah, like you walk out with a boost of energy, of confidence, of something. Yeah, and you also have to treat what's inside. Yeah, and that's what I wanted to bring in. Just there's so many different modalities, people don't know about them. Yeah, and I feel like now there's a lot more awareness around it.

SPEAKER_03 40:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:43

Um well and willingness.

SPEAKER_03 40:44

I think people are looking for it now. They are. I think for so long, and I call it woo-woo. And in the next book, um, I have a whole chapter on woo-woo stuff. But I think, you know, I'm the perfect example of that. I was extremely cerebral. My, you know, undergrad degree was in nursing and biology. And so to me, it was very data-driven, it was very cerebral. Um, but then when I really started reading about some of these things that I was being introduced to and understanding the absolute direct connection between mind, body, spirit, soul, um, I started really kind of thinking about and contemplating the idea. And I say that about we come in into this world, and this is the meat suit we are we're given for this particular journey. Um, but I think again, learning those things from you and Norma and then watching it spread. Yeah, and sending other people.

SPEAKER_00 41:43

I was like that too. I was like, what? This is weird. Like, what do you want me to do? Like, you want me to stand barefooted outside? Like, uh-uh, I don't think so.

SPEAKER_03 41:51

Yeah, you want me to do what? I don't think so. Like, touch a tree. Like, why do I have to touch a tree? That's just weird.

SPEAKER_01 41:58

Yeah, I felt the same way, and I did it a couple of times, and I was like, okay, well, I'll do it. Scripting the same way, like, okay, I guess I'll do it. Reading, yeah, I was like, okay, I guess I'll do it. And all of those, like, just kind of stepping stones, yeah, that are just helping you build yourself.

SPEAKER_03 42:19

Yeah. And I think that's the piece that helped me maybe the most is realizing that by pouring into myself, it wasn't selfish. By putting myself back at the top of my priority list, wasn't selfish. Because if I can be the best ally I can be, then that helps me be the best friend I can be, the best mom to AJ that I can be. Um, and I do genuinely feel like I'm a better person from a holistic perspective now, because of some of the lessons that I learned from you and from Norma both. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 42:54

I was thinking about um something right now. So I went to a conference, a hair show in August. And I'm like, yeah, dad, you know, I'm gonna go out of town, I'm gonna take some hair classes, and blah, blah, blah.

SPEAKER_00 43:07

And then my dad's like, is it okay with Josh?

SPEAKER_01 43:10

And I'm like, excuse me.

SPEAKER_03 43:15

I didn't get my permission slip sign, dad.

SPEAKER_01 43:17

Yeah, and it's like, you know, the old school mentality of like, oh my god, like how dare you?

SPEAKER_00 43:22

Like you're taking away.

SPEAKER_01 43:23

Is your husband okay with this? And I was like, Dad, this is work.

SPEAKER_03 43:28

Yeah. This is Josh. This is work, and it's work, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:32

And then he's just like, oh well, well, did you ask him? And I'm like, yeah, we talked about it. Yeah, he said it was okay. But I mean, just as much as I, you know, trust him and support him in his career, yeah, like it has to work both ways.

SPEAKER_03 43:48

Absolutely. Reciprocal. Yes. Well, and look at what you did for Josh's career. Yes. How many wives would say, Yes, honey, I'll see you in six months. Right. And you did it.

SPEAKER_01 43:58

Right. And you're Opening a business and but I think if Annabelle like 10, 11 years ago would have not been down for that. Yeah. Like I know I have truly changed because even 11 years ago when I opened up my business, like I just didn't do it very gracefully. I didn't drank a lot, I wasn't taking care of myself, I was just pouring into the business, pouring into the business. And yeah, like I had acne. I never in my life have had acne. And so opening up this new location, all of those things started coming back. Yeah. And I was like, no, I'm you are a different person. You know better. Yeah. So you will do better. Yeah. And I didn't give up my gym. I have a daughter now. I have a family now. Like that, no, like that's priority. Yeah. Have to so yeah, so just kind of like that, like just pouring into myself and then pouring into the business, just having that balance.

SPEAKER_03 45:03

Yeah. Well, I think honestly, for me, that's the perfect note to end it on, is the fact that I say that a lot, and you just said it. When we know better, we do better. Do better. And so I think as we continue, yeah, the best. Yeah. And it's but it's so true. It is. But if you don't open your mind and you don't open your heart to learn those things, then you don't know better. And then you can't do better. You can't.

SPEAKER_01 45:30

And so I think again, meeting people where they're at, right? Yeah. Because then like you want to help somebody because you know all these things, but you gotta make sure like they're open to it.

SPEAKER_03 45:40

Yeah. Well, my hope, and I've said, you know, you know, I said with the book, if one woman read that book and felt a tiny less bat shit crazy or less alone, mission accomplished. And very similarly with the podcast, and I loved um you've said you said that to me today, actually, and I've heard it from several people now. Oh my gosh, I got so many little nuggets out of this one. Yeah, that's the goal. So if somebody listens to you and me talking today, um, and we can thank Amy for that introduction, but I think if somebody can listen to today and be a little more open about looking at what what would a sound bath be like? What is access bars? What would it be like to pour into myself um and put myself back on my priority list? If they got a little nugget from today, then we did our job. We did.

SPEAKER_01 46:27

I hope, I hope that they are listening. Yes, you know, not just hearing the podcast, just listening. Big difference. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 46:37

Well, here's to you, my friend, and to your beautiful Montenegro salon and spa, and to everything that you're building.

SPEAKER_01 46:45

Back at you, girl.

SPEAKER_03 46:46

All right, yes. Thank you so much for coming on. My pleasure. Alrighty. Thanks, guys. We will see you again in a week or so.