Airing Out Your Vagina
Hosted by Allie Trimble-Lozano, hospital CEO turned author, speaker, and executive coach. Airing Out Your Vagina is the unfiltered conversation women in leadership have been waiting for.
This is where we unpack the messy, the meaningful, and the downright ridiculous parts of being a woman with ambition. From boardrooms to breakdowns, motherhood to mic drops, Allie brings raw truth, dark humor, and the kind of wisdom that only comes from burning out, starting over, and finally leading on her own terms.
Pull up a chair, pour a drink, and get ready to laugh, cringe, and maybe even cry a little.
It's time to air it all out!
Airing Out Your Vagina
Leadership, Identity, and the Courage to Evolve
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Download my free mini-ebook: It's About Damn Time: The Self Check for Women Leaders Who Work Their Ass Off, Play By the Rules, and STILL Get Passed Over.
There’s something powerful about starting a new year with honest conversation.
In the latest episode of my podcast, I sit down with my friend Amy Muro. We’re both nurses turned entrepreneurs, and we talk about growth, reinvention, and what it really takes to step into a new season with clarity and confidence. We reflect on lessons learned, risks taken, and the importance of honoring who you’ve been while building what’s next.
If you’re entering the year ready to lead with intention, align your work with your values, and give yourself permission to evolve, this conversation is for you.
All right. So welcome back. I cannot believe that I have you on our podcast today.
SPEAKER_03I can't believe I'm here. Thank you for having me.
SPEAKER_00I can't when I look back, Amy, at how long I've known you and the the roads that we have navigated together.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um and been the I need to vent, holy shit, here's today. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_03Screenshot, screenshot, screenshot.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_03And I'm like, read this.
SPEAKER_00This is is it just me? But there are times in my life that I'm like, literally the last few years, I don't know, I mean, how I would have survived it without that. Um and so there's been times where you have reached out to me, and then I laugh because every time we do that, we both apologize for it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we're really good at saying sorry.
SPEAKER_00Uh-huh. And I'm like, that's such a stupid girl thing that is stuck in us, where it's like, that's the whole point of a friendship like that.
SPEAKER_03Right. But we always have to be like, I'm sorry, put my burden on you. Yeah. Because I know you already have so much. And so I shouldn't be burning you with any of it.
SPEAKER_00And screw that because we lift each other. Yes. Um, I think my favorite thing, and I like to tell it's in the book, whatever, but I love to share with people that I had, I was working um at one major hospital system in town, and was given an opportunity to move to the main competitor system and take on a brand new role and really kind of start a whole division out of corporate for them with urgent cares. Right. And so I'd never laid eyes on you, didn't know anything about you, walk into the first couple of director meetings and and whatnot, and you were just kind, you were friendly, you were welcoming. Um, and I got to know you. But we weren't close friends. I worked off site, I wasn't at the main campuses other than a few meetings. And so, lo and behold, a couple months into my tenure in this new job, I'm like, well, holy shit, I'm pregnant.
SPEAKER_01Whoopsie.
SPEAKER_00This is just fantastic. Um, I had no paid time off saved up. I'd been there literally months. By the time I had AJ, I'd been there almost 11 months. I started in January, had AJ in November. Um, but I had nothing and I was panicking. And I was like, how am I gonna do it? I was the primary breadwinner, I provided the health insurance. Like, what am I gonna do? And so I negotiated and I was like, I'll work part-time from home and you know, whatever. And so I literally had a C-section and was doing payroll, but without you, who was not a dear close friend of mine at the time. You were a work acquaintance, I knew you, I enjoyed you, we got along well, but I didn't know you at all outside of the hospital.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00And HR called and said, Hey, we're gonna give you three weeks off so that you can be off, and then you can work part-time three weeks and come back at the six-week mark to protect my job. And I thought, but I don't have that much PTO, and how am I gonna pay for my health insurance? And they said, No, we you received a PTO donation. And I was like, I did. And they said, Yeah, and I said, Well, can you tell me from whom? And there you were. And I cried because I remember thinking, like, here's this woman who knows me enough to say, Hey, how are you? How's it going? Let me know if you need anything friendly. But you literally gave me three weeks of your own paid time off.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I will never forget that moment.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I mean, it it just God moved me to do it. And I knew as a mom, having kids of my own and being in corporate healthcare that they could have given two shits if you had any time with your kid. Yeah. And that wasn't fair.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And when you were telling me, I think it was at one of the meetings that that's what you're gonna do. You're gonna work from home and you were gonna do this. And I was like, screw that. No, she's not. Yeah, those you will never get that time back, and the healthcare system could be like sucks to be you.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03So I mean, that's I think that's what women and moms do for each other. We have to. The good ones, yeah, yeah. And I could see it in you. I knew that you and I were so much more alike than we probably wanted to admit at the time. And like we were gonna be close as what is it? What is it saying? I don't know, close as all get out. I mean, there's no way. I mean, and that's how I think we are.
SPEAKER_00Very much so. Sisters by choice, yes, which to me is the amazing part. Yeah, and it's been AJ's 14 years old.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so 15 years old.
SPEAKER_00He starts high school next year. Super, and you did that for me when he was right in here. Yeah, and I'll never forget it. And the other one, Linda Chavez, who I don't even know where she is or what she's doing anymore, um, but she gave me time too.
SPEAKER_04Yes.
SPEAKER_00And I I remember in that moment thinking, like, this is what women should be like. This is how it's supposed to be, and so this is how I'm gonna be. And um, I think our relationship quickly evolved as we went, and you're you were a labor and delivery nurse, and I always say, once a nurse, always a nurse. Always. Um, but you lived it from the admin side. You were corporate healthcare. Yes. Um, and administration at any level in corporate healthcare is hard as fuck, if we're just gonna be honest.
SPEAKER_03Yes, 100%.
SPEAKER_00Um, you have no life outside of work. Um, I remember people saying, yeah, you'll get into a director role, the first three to five years are hell, but then you kind of find your footing and and it's okay from there. And I remember thinking, three to five years of hell. And I'm grateful because I I was surrounded by people that were amazing. And because of what I went into opening facilities, I picked who I surrounded myself with.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_00So I hired my whole team. Very different experience.
SPEAKER_04Yes.
SPEAKER_00I don't think I would have made it in a traditional hospital director role where you're handed your team and you just have to find a way to try to navigate and make it work.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_00Um, but I have had on, I had Nicole from Center of Hope. She was on, Nicole was a nurse.
SPEAKER_04Was she?
SPEAKER_00Um, back in New York. Yeah. And realized, and she said on on the episode she was on that like this is not what I thought nursing was. Like I thought I was coming in here to like take care of people and pour into people, and this is not what that is. Um, and what I've realized is more and more people, sadly, are leaving healthcare.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Or finding alternative ways to be of service to people via some other healthcare mechanism.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00And so, you know, obviously I'm a little bit different. So wrote a book, blew up my career, and now I'm starting or have started a business and I'm doing other things. But probably my favorite thing about where I am now is that I am no longer having to either mute myself or make sure I tiptoe around the issue, or make sure I don't give credence to something that might cause a problem at the hospital or somebody might be offended by. And um, I've said many times that I feel like healthcare in America is broken. Um, and it has been for a very long time. And so I wanted to really talk to you a little bit to start things off with kind of your career path in healthcare, you know, nursing and then um, and really how that led you to doing what you're doing now, because I think it's freaking awesome. I was a paralegal, that's part of how I paid for nursing school. Yeah, I didn't know that. Okay. And so when you shared with me, you know, a year ago or so that this is what you were looking at, and I was like, holy shit, that's awesome. I didn't know that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I learned something new. Right.
SPEAKER_00That's amazing. I had Alley of all trades, which I wouldn't say out loud now because it has a totally different connotation. But at the time I did personal shopping and pet sitting and ran errands for people and whatever. And I worked in a office, a legal office as a paralegal. That's how I paid for nursing school.
SPEAKER_03That's hilarious. I love that. I'm gonna put that in my pocket. I love that about you. That's awesome. Well, yeah, so my nursing started, I was, you know, a baby nurse straight out of high school, went into nursing. Um, I didn't necessarily think I always wanted to be a nurse. My mom um really drilled into me that you're gonna have a career that you don't ever have to depend on a man. Yeah. That you can leave if you needed to leave. And so you're going to do nursing, you're gonna be a teacher, you're gonna do something where you can leave and go. And I was like, okay. So I went to college and was like, okay, nursing sounds good. And I fell absolutely in love with it and graduated and hit the floor running in labor and delivery with some amazing nurses and some of the worst people I ever met. I mean, back in the day, I think we really had an it could be still this way, everyone ate their young and it was. Oh, horribly. You have to test them, right? You have to test them and test them.
SPEAKER_00We had to go through that.
SPEAKER_03So they have to earn the make you cry, and you're gonna do this. And I mean, horrible people that I still to this day I see them and they make me cringe and make me feel like I'm not worthy, and none of that happened. And then there were some like Umelda, who's still a nurse at Trans Mountain and still doing labor and delivery, and just changed my life, or alertus who changed my life, and great women, great women.
SPEAKER_00And taught you everything that you needed to know to be a badass labor and delivery nurse.
SPEAKER_03I mean, oh wow, and to be a labor and delivery nurse. Period. Just yeah, I mean, to be able to be in that moment with someone and become like almost best friends with them by the end of a 12-hour shift, and you're like, no, have your baby now because I want to meet them and I want to be with them, and or the low, low, low of there's no heartbeat. Right. And then um and having to help them deliver the baby that's not gonna be part of their family, and just devastating. And I think you talked about on your episode I listened by yourself about PTSD, and we don't take care of you know healthcare workers that way. How are we gonna walk through this? Oh, you're you're in there with a fetal demise, but then hey, you know what? You have to take triage. Yeah, and now you have to be totally happy and great, welcome this baby. And now I have to go back over and try to keep it quiet, and they don't want to like you can't listen to that baby cry next door or whatnot. It's so horrible to put our healthcare workers through that, you know. It's and then oh, the mom's gonna pass, and no one believes they're gonna have their you know, wife pass away during you know delivery. And in America, that should never happen. But I mean it does what it is, you know? Yeah, and then uh space opened up for director, and I'm always one who like, oh yeah, I can do it. I I got this, you know, I can make it better, I can be a better director or I can do whatever.
SPEAKER_00And and if not me, who? Yeah. I think you and I are cut from that cloth too, where it's like, you know, if you don't vote, then shut the fuck up about your issues with politics. So if you're in a position where you have the knowledge and the expertise to take a promotion and take a position and you know it wasn't maybe great, right? Well, what if the person that gets it is worse? So yeah, I'll I can do this and I can turn it all around and it's gonna be good.
SPEAKER_03Yes, because I had been a charge nurse for years and oh, and working very closely with the director at the time, like, oh yeah, like look, they get to come and go as they want, it's totally fine, they don't have to clock in and out. Yes, it's okay. Yeah, Aiden was three. I was like, yeah, I can go home, be with him, take him to school. It'll be perfect, be totally perfect. Because at the time, Tony and I were just ships in the night. We were doing our best to work, he a fireman working 20 hours.
SPEAKER_00I was gonna say a firefighter.
SPEAKER_03So yeah, and then me working 12-hour shifts. Let me go take him to you, let me do this. I'll I'll work the weekend program so you can work Monday through Thursday, and I'll work Friday through Sunday. And that was our marriage at the beginning. Yeah, you know, a little surprised that we lasted how we did, because it was just that's how we did, because neither of us wanted to put our children in daycare.
SPEAKER_00Yep.
SPEAKER_03And so it's like, well, that's what we're gonna do. That's how we'll do it. We're gonna make this the sacrifice. And so it hit me like I don't need to make that sacrifice anymore. Maybe I could do this, I could work Monday through Friday, eight to five, and have this time with my kids. And so, kind of like you, I I got into it, got the directorship, and within a little bit, I was pregnant with Maddie. Yeah, and like, oh shit.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, this wasn't the plan. I didn't know that was gonna happen so quick.
SPEAKER_03Um, and yeah, ended up having her, and I loved being a director for a long time. I felt like I was making a change with the team. I had an amazing group of charged nurses who I am still so close with. I still work with one of them. Um, I could not have done it without them. As you know, you've always said the team is what did it, and a lot of my team is why I left because, you know, as they do in corporate healthcare, oh, you know, one of my fellow directors who I'm still best friends with to this day, left and they're like, you can take her unit. Yeah, totally. I don't know NICU from anything, but yes, just absorb it. I can take her unit, yeah. And oh holy moly, I couldn't. I I you know, by then Madison was gonna turn five, and it was getting really, really hard. And the NICU nurses were really strong. Some amazing nurses in there who I love dearly, and some who are just so hard, you know, and like they came after you as the director, right? We don't have staffing, we don't have this, we don't have that, and it's all your fault. It's my fault, yeah. I mean, I was getting calls in the middle of the night because a doctor was pissed off because a doc a nurse called him, God forbid, and woke him up and like, uh, that's your job, and that's her job, yeah, or his job, you know, and then the hospital caught on fire and had to go. I remember that. I remember that. Literally, I'm we're I'm at my house, which is 40 minutes from the hospital, and like you gotta get back here. Okay, and we are evacuating everybody.
SPEAKER_00Everybody.
SPEAKER_03We delivered babies by iPhone flashlight because we had no electricity.
SPEAKER_00Yep.
SPEAKER_03We carried Nikki babies out in big old satchels and took a big bus and took them to Providence. I mean, that was re that was so scary, and that was nothing we ever like trained for. It was just like get here and do it. Yeah, you know, go, go, go. Blue teams go, go, go, go, go. And so that, and then just some of the staffing stuff, and then the one that really just I'm done. And like you've said, they're what your tower moments, yeah. Yeah, and I just felt like I had poured and poured and poured myself into this hospital with, you know, we have that great um fellow C that we both have a lot of respect for. Very much, and she was amazing, and then we got some other ones that weren't so great, you know, and so it's just like, why do I keep doing this? And then we had a night shift, you know, nurses week thing, or it was Christmas, I don't remember which one, and oh, you need to be here to serve at night.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_03Which, of course, I will always be there to appreciate our night shift because they're there. Without them, yeah, we couldn't do anything, you know. And so I'm serving back behind with one of the directors, I think I don't know what his official title is, but he was out in the community with EMS, and um, we asked for help from our COO at the time. Can you help these um nurses take up this food trade?
SPEAKER_00Tray, yeah, trays so that they can give it to those that don't have time to come down.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. And uh the next morning I was pulled into HR and told that I was extremely disrespectful, and they were like, This cannot happen, and you're not allowed to talk like this to them. And I was like, talk like what? All I did was ask them. They were all standing around, all of the O's, we're all standing around talking, and these nurses and aides are trying really hard to take stuff up and just okay, we're back here. I would do it, but you're not doing can you hey, do y'all have a chance? I didn't go straight to him, I went to all the O's, but you're the one who's upset. Yep, why are you so upset? And uh I walked out of the office in absolute tears and called Tony and said, I'm done. Yeah, I'm out, I'm done. And thank God I had a a family and a father um who owned a business who would absorb me and I was like, Please do something for me. And you know, my brother and my dad at the time took me in. And it was a huge change, and I left healthcare because of that. And I never thought I would come back. Yeah, never, yeah, because that was five years, like you said, three to five years. Yeah, that three to five years is I don't even know if it's better now. I don't I don't I wouldn't know if I stayed longer. You know, when I put in my months notice, people called and you'll always have a job, please come with me, and this and that. I'm like, I I can't work corporate healthcare anymore. Yeah, you guys don't care.
SPEAKER_00No, I think well, and I in that moment, so and I mean I I remember, um, and you said that very eloquently, that's what I'll say. Um, but I can picture them in my mind's eye, um, and just the fact that there's a difference, right? And it I talk about that a lot. So you go somewhere to work, um, and especially in healthcare, you go somewhere and you believe in the mission. So I fell for that. Um, went to interview, knew I was done in the role I was in for a variety of reasons, and I was ready for something else. And I got a phone call that said, Hey, I think you'd be perfect for this. It's a joint venture, and we need somebody that knows our system that we know we can trust to help navigate and whatever, that can also learn very quickly the system on the joint venture side. And I went and you know, there were Maya Angelo quotes on the wall, and there were scriptures written on things, and I was like, oh my gosh, I found my home. Yes, like this is it. Yes, and then you start working there, and little by little you figure out who the people are that mean the stuff that's on the wall, and who the people are like that one that are who the hell do you think you are as a little director of LD to tell me to take a tray of food to the nurses?
SPEAKER_04Yep.
SPEAKER_00That by the way, we're all here to try to support and celebrate the night shift for.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_00So then why are you even here? Yeah. And I think, you know, when we talk about, and you brought up the PTSD, and I was talking, Annabelle has been on the podcast also, and I was talking to her the last time I went to get my hair done, and she said, I was listening to your episode where you were talking about PTSD and healthcare and whatever, and she said, and I was thinking about, and it happens to be L D. So for all I know, it was a conversation she had with you. I don't know. But she was sharing about one of her friends, I think, that's an LD nurse, and she said, and I'm like amazed at what they do. And she said, I was talking to her, and she said, No, she said it if it weren't for my my co-workers, she said I couldn't do the job. And what she shared was the fact that, like, okay, it's gonna be a stillbirth. What that is as a nurse and a human being with a conscience and a heart to navigate with that family and that mom is unbelievable. And so she said they rotate those amongst themselves. Like, I mean, okay, I got this one, right? I'll take care of it.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00Um, they take care of each other. And she said that she asked her, what's admin like? I mean, like, do they, and she said, oh no, no, it's us, like we take care of each other. And I think the challenge has become, and I got to where, and I've shared with you, I stayed way longer, way longer than I should have, and sure as shit than I wanted to. Right. Um, and it it was so toxic, but I stayed because of my team, because I felt like, oh my God, but if I leave them, who's gonna take care of them?
SPEAKER_04Yes.
SPEAKER_00And and I'm not saying that I was, you know, the the end all be all of bosses, but what I did do is put my patients and my people first.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_00And I refused to do things that did not put my patients and my people first. And when you do that in corporate America in general, but when you're talking about patience and safety when it's corporate healthcare, um, you get to a place where eventually you're at odds with people.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00It's no, you're gonna roll this out because the decision's been made. Right. And I'm like, okay, but this is like a national organization, and we can do certain things in certain states. We can't do that in this state or that state. And they're like, we've already discussed it, we've made the decision. And then I'm sitting there going, but that's not compliant. Like, no, no, we can't do that. And so then you're trying to decide, what do I do? I have a license, all of my people have a license. You know, um, one of the things that you know, when we're transporting patients, when you're dealing with an off-site facility, right? So you have an emergency at an off-site facility, um, we can treat all of that. But if they need an intervention, if they need cath lab, if they need um, you know, OR, those patients are going to be transferred. Well, when they're critically ill, there are certain drips that, you know, different fire departments and different jurisdictions will manage or they won't manage. And I remember um one of the toughest conversations I had was with a fire chief at the time. Um, and I was over El Paso and San Antonio and a lot of outlying areas. So I'm not gonna go into where it was, but I remember the fire chief telling me, um, well, yeah, you're gonna have to send a nurse. And I said, Okay, but from a legal perspective, I'm a nurse, I have a license, I'm employed here. Yeah, so who covers me and my license when I get on that rig to move the patient to a different facility? And they just kind of looked at me. And I said, and then I can't practice medicine, I need orders. So if that patient deteriorates on that transport, I don't have physician orders. Right. And if it's an emergency, I said, then does do the paramedics take over? Like, what's the plan? And I remember everybody in the room. Looking at me like I was annoying. Like freaking do it already.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And finally he said, Well, we do it this way because we insist that we transport code ones or code threes, or I don't remember which direction they go, criticality. But I think it's code three. But when they go through code three, we require that we transport those patients to ensure their quality. And I didn't even skip a beat and I said, But your quality is my nurse.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I'll never forget the CEO from one of the main campuses was sitting in that room and looked like he wanted to maybe die. Um, but it was in that moment that I realized that's my role. My role is to be the stopgap.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00My role is to make sure my nurses are good, my staff is safe, and my patients are cared for. And I think it has gotten to a point in corporate health care where that is almost impossible to do in a way that you can still be successful in your career.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah. You're told to sit down and shut up. I remember, I mean, you're bringing back all of these things that I mean, I would work because you know, as directors, we don't have the labor laws because we are salary, right? Yeah. Excuse me. And so I remembered saying, like, I can't get people to come in for a night shift. Or someone called in, or we're full, and you only let me put three nurses on the schedule.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And what am I supposed to do? So I'm gonna stay. I remember sleeping in an empty room for trying to get, I just need two hours, guys. Just two hours. Yeah. Because I would not let my patients or my nurses go through that.
SPEAKER_00Right. I mean, you're gonna dive in.
SPEAKER_03You have to, like you said.
SPEAKER_00Then it's not safe.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Then I leave and I'm like, oh, sorry, I'm gonna go home. Y'all, you're good. Like, no, we can't do that.
SPEAKER_00Amy, you nailed it. And what I keep saying is the smiling, nodding, yes people, and the people that don't care about the quality and the safety of the patients and the people are the people that make it now in corporate health care.
SPEAKER_03That are running some of our hospitals.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And and it's it, this is not an El Paso thing. This is a national issue.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And um, I'm actually trying to get, and she's she's agreed to come on, but um, a dear friend of mine is the CEO for the Texas Nurses Association. Oh, and we did Leadership America together. And so she's gonna come on because I want to talk to her about the whole thing with nursing no longer being a professional designation and some other things. But I think at the end of the day, one COVID changed the world, right? Yeah, yeah, it changed healthcare too, because you know, once the government got involved with contracting nurses and paying nurses$500 an hour and all these absurd things to try to fill gaps, then all of us were left empty because all of those nurses left to New York and the places that got hit first to make, you know, more than I was making as a hospital CEO, that's for sure. Right, right. Um, and that never really came back down to par. And so then it was we need more staff, we're busier, but we're having to pay staff more. And so then it was like, well, no, because that won't fit in the budget. Okay, well, we're gonna have to change the budget because I need more staff.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And so it was this constant thing. You see, the safety stuff.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah, it's it's so scary. It's it's so scary. I remember when they first uh, you know, it was right when the unions were coming into Al Paso.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And okay, well, yeah, you're gonna get all of this. That's what they kept telling the nurses, and but you're not gonna have a CNA anymore. They'd already taken our CNAs, you're not gonna have a huck. And then they already moved to all the L and D nurses doing all the admission process. So on top of caring for your patients, you now have to verify insurance, get all these papers signed, this and that. And it's just like this is not, yeah, this is not. That's what they do. That's what they do, you know?
SPEAKER_00And promise the world. Yeah. And then here's the reality. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03But I agree with you. The people who are willing to stand up and say something are the ones that at times get hurt. Yeah. You know, I mean, uh, my husband's back in corporate healthcare, and it's like, well, it hasn't changed at all. Yeah. It's gotten so much worse.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03You know?
SPEAKER_00Well, it's not one of the things that I I went to mastermind. So I had shared that with you. And one of my favorite conversations when I was over there, I was talking to um one of the coaches, I guess. He's he doesn't coach Dean Graziosi, but he is one of Dean's main coaches that works with his students. And I was talking to him, and I said, he said, what drove you to finally leave? Because he said, he looks at the book, right? And he's like, How did you get from being a CEO of a hospital to writing a book called Airing Out Your Vagina? And I, it would have been better if I'd been an LD nurse. It would have been more fitting. Um, but I told him, I said, I we don't have a lot of time. And so I said, What I'll tell you is it I knew I was done when I couldn't do the job the way that I wanted to do the job, because doing the job the right way and protecting my patients and protecting my staff and protecting, you know, the team environment that I had built was no longer possible because it had shifted from people over profits to profits over people. And, you know, there's there are ways for sure to do private equity and healthcare. But when private equity and healthcare insurance companies are running the show, we're in really big trouble.
SPEAKER_04Yes.
SPEAKER_00And that's where we are now.
SPEAKER_04Yes.
SPEAKER_00And so, you know, it's been, it was just after I blew up my career when the CEO of United was murdered.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_00Shot dead on the street. Um, and then since then, you know, there was the nurse that is now blind that barely survived her beatdown. Just in the last, I think, week, week and a half, the social worker in San Francisco that was stabbed to death and murdered while on shift by a patient.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, and I can almost guarantee you the conversations that are happening are what are we gonna be able, what do we cut so that we can increase security?
SPEAKER_02Where do we?
SPEAKER_00And it's like what you were saying when the unions showed up. It's okay, well, we're gonna give you this much more pay and you're gonna get this many more vacation days, and we're gonna give you this, but you have absolutely no assistance. It's soul nursing. Okay, so oh, we're gonna install medical detectors or medical metal detectors, there's gonna be full-time security, but we don't have a hospital operator anymore. So patients are gonna click the number for that specific department, you'll need to answer all phone calls and transfer them. We're not gonna be able to have like there's no movement in what the CEO at the top makes. No, there's no movement in thinning that out. Um, and it's a cr that's not even just healthcare. Um, I don't know if it'll it'll go on TV or not, but I did an interview outside of Wigs the other day. Really? Waiting to pick AJ up, and a photographer came and knocked on the window, scared the shit out of me. But I roll down the window and I'm in a baseball cap and a ponytail, of course. And uh he said, I'm here doing interviews because they're introducing the new superintendent tonight. So I'm trying to get some feedback from parents. And I was very calm, and I just said, Well, I don't know if you'll want my feedback, but sure. And so he recorded it. It was very short, and I was very kind and I didn't drop an F-bomb or cuss at all. Um, but I did say, I feel like the way things are going in El Paso, the population's aging, people aren't having kids the way that they used to have kids, schools are closing, you're trying to figure out how to reorganize all this stuff, and we've got umpteen different school districts with umpteen different levels of administration, and we're paying millions of dollars to how many different EPISD, S ISD, YISD. I said, How come we don't have an El Paso ISD? And you merge those, and you've got one supreme leader that you, you know, whatever, yeah, but reorgit.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_00And I feel like, you know, they do that to a degree. So when I was in my former role, it was, hey, this market's a disaster and we're gonna move out their leadership. So we need you to go over there and get it cleared up and fixed.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_00So I was running facilities here, then took on facilities there. More than doubled my workload, didn't get a cent.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_00Not a cent. And it was, well, let's see how the turnaround goes. And I was young and dumb enough to go, okay, and I did it, and I never got a penny for that work. Yeah. So it is doable, but at some point, health care, I feel like, is broken and it's continuing to break. And if we don't figure out the mental health aspects of it and the PTSD of the people that are providing the healthcare that are doing the health caring, I don't know who's gonna be taking care of you and me.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I don't know, no either. I mean, I remember I was physically assaulted by a doctor when I had just become the director, and a very a doctor who a lot of my nurses absolutely loved. And um, I was only enforcing something that was coming from the national organization for the health of the babies and something I had to do. It wasn't like I want to do this, you know. I understand when they're coming from, but I also understand you're the doctor. I'm not trying to question you. And when he assaulted me, I was like, huh. And no one did anything about it. Yep. The CEO didn't care, my admin director didn't care. Yep. Like, oh, and everyone was like, Oh, well, I don't I don't know what to tell you. Like, sorry. Sorry that happened. We and it's just spiraling. If a doctor can do that, now the patients are doing it, and it's we're not helping anyone. We're not saying, like, hey, maybe we should have like a let's talk about what happened today. We had a code today, let's let's go through.
SPEAKER_00There's no debrief.
SPEAKER_03There's none. And I mean, my husband does that all the time. That's what they do. They debrief when you have an emergency. What can we have done better?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and most places do.
SPEAKER_03Yes, but we don't. Not because it's always an emergency. Yeah. You know, everything you have patients in all the floors that something happens to. We have a rapid response, we have a code, we have this, we have that. Like they fall. Okay, well, let's stop. Yeah, what could we do better? But how can I support you more? Yeah, you know, and when I left, you say, like when you uh blew up your career, leaving your team. You know, I left my team and one of my charge nurses stepped into my role, and she shortly had massive family things happen. And to this day, I feel responsible because I know had I not had the family support that I had, I would have been in her position.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, the same boat.
SPEAKER_03And I feel like I did that to her. I should have been like, don't do it. But I was like, you can do it because you're strong and you're amazing. And I look back at her and yeah, she's super successful now, and what it was amazing for her. But I the things she went through and what my unit went through, and now my unit's gone. Like they doesn't even exist. They closed it, all the nurses lost their jobs, and they were told, like, sorry, if another hospital will hire you, great. If not, sorry, you don't have a job.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Like a lot of those nurses have been there 30 years.
SPEAKER_00Well, and that goes where where's the money?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And when you look at that and you look at the service lines, right? Okay, so OR.
SPEAKER_03Always the money. Cat lab, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, where you can charge$20,000 for the catheter that you use during that procedure or the implant that's$25k. I mean, it's it's asinine. But I think until there's a shift, and that's what I'm trying to figure out, right? Is which if I had figured that out, I would be a multi-mult, I would be a billionaire, not a multimillionaire. So maybe we should figure it out.
SPEAKER_04Let's do it.
SPEAKER_00Um, but there are some amazing things um that I well, I learned a ton on that journey that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. I know you'd um truly about me, um, about what it is to be a leader, what it is to be about, to be a courageous leader, an authentic leader, a trust-based leader. Um, but then it also, as you learn those, it makes you harder to manage.
SPEAKER_04Yes.
SPEAKER_00Because you're when you when you're I'll say when I was young and dumb and I'm sitting there, man, I was just eating whatever the CNO preached. Uh, that that lady was on a pedestal. Yeah. And then as I was around a little bit longer, and I was, and I'll never forget, we got off an elevator, and this is years ago. Um, but we got off an elevator and everybody just kind of spread. Like the elevator doors opened, and there were staff and people around, and it was like gone. And I will never forget, she said, That's what you want. You want him to be terrified of you. And I remember I was a baby nurse. I'd been a nurse maybe four years at that point. Like I didn't know any better, but I had gotten my master's degree, and part of that was trailing this person around. And I remember thinking in that moment, and I've said so many times now on panels where people say, Well, you know, what did you learn from your mentors? Or what did you learn? And and in now, by now, I've had some pretty amazing people that I've worked with and for. But I've also said, I never had a chance really to have a mentor that I genuinely worked with and for who I absolutely respected. Right. Because my leadership and the style that I developed, good, wrong, or indifferent, was based on me never wanting to be anything like the people that I reported to.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I think we've got, you don't have to be a doctor to run a hospital. You don't have to be a nurse to be a CEO. Like you need to have that financial knowledge. That's one of my biggest, I think, advantages at those boardroom tables was the fact that I was a nurse. I had worked as a nurse, I had been in the trenches, um, and so I knew how it worked. Right. And then got an MBA. So I had the financial acumen, right? And so you it was really hard to kind of snow me, right? Like the doctor couldn't come in and talk medical jargon gibberish and scare me into agreeing to what he wanted. Right. And the CFO couldn't come in and intimidate me as a nurse out of whatever I'm saying we really need because I'd done the financial.
SPEAKER_03Right, you understood. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00But that's rare.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_00And so part of it, and one of my favorite stories, I knew I was in really big trouble under a boss that had come in and was new and I didn't know anything about this individual. And they'd been there probably two weeks. And I get this phone call about, and I mean, she's she's a yeller. So I answer the phone and she said, How the hell could you not call me when you had a never event? And my initial response in my head, of course, not out loud, was, Holy shit, I had a never event. Yeah. Like, the hell happened and why didn't anybody call me?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And so I said, ma'am, I'm so and I don't know this person. Like, she's been here two weeks. Right. And so I said, I'm so sorry. I said, let me hang up with you and call and get information and I'll call you back. I said, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know anything about it. And she goes, Well, that's a real problem. How is it that the CEO of the market has no idea, you know, blah, blah, blah. Well, there was no never event. When you run different types of facilities, there are never events that were you work sometimes in a surgery center. Well, a patient death in a surgery center is absolutely lutely a never event.
SPEAKER_03Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_00A patient death in an emergency room is not a never event. It's it's a never event that we don't ever want to have happen. But people die in hospitals. People die in emergency rooms. We'll come to find out when you're running an organization and you're at a certain level running an organization, but your background doesn't align with that role. Yeah. And I think from that I learned, and I was always pretty good at saying, I have no idea. Do you know how to do this? Yes. Or you would ask me something and I'd say, Oh shit, I don't know. Let me go find out. I'll figure it out. Because I knew what I didn't know. It's so important. And I think when we've got individuals, and that's why I say private equity has a it has a place. We need the money. Right. They need the capital. So private equity has a place, but they better be surrounded by people like you, like me, people that know the business.
SPEAKER_03Right. And are willing to stand up and say, hey, hey, hey.
SPEAKER_00That's dangerous. Right. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Maybe we shouldn't do that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And that's what pushed me to do what I the business I did this year. Um, you know, because I worked in I walked away and did human resources for 10 years for a business, and then that business was sold, and then a corporate business, and again, you did more than human resources, friend.
SPEAKER_00Sorry. Like I remember I used to go give flu shots for you guys. No, yeah, in my med postings.
SPEAKER_03See, yes, we had that connection which we never lost. But yeah, again, it was just smacking me in the face that it's just corporate America, not just corporate healthcare. Yeah, you know, they don't give two shits about you as people or how you like in human resources. I hated that people thought I was like, ugh, you're the enemy resources. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. I'm here to fight them for you. You know, and I did, and I fought them, and it was horrible. And finally I was like, okay, I'm done. Yeah. Like I'm gonna go back to nursing and walked into something that developed into yes, me being able to work at a local uh surgery center, a plastic surgeon's office. And I love what I do. I get to make men and women feel absolutely beautiful, yeah, you know, and do fun things that we're gift and use my brain and still do operating and all of that. But then I decided this isn't enough, and I wanna be there for people when they're they don't have someone on their side that understands, like you're saying. Someone in the room that says, uh, I know it looks really good on paper, but let's dive a little bit deeper. Yeah. And I've always wanted to be a legal nurse consultant since I was super young and thought it was super fun and just didn't have the money to put into the training. And the end of the year last year, I was like, I'm gonna do it. Because number one, my husband retired from the fire department after 28 years and has another job, which is great. It keeps him busy and his he's super young to be retired, but he worked really hard and provides for our family and for us to have the life that we have, and I want him to retire.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and I want to be able to do I love, so I'm gonna interrupt you and then so remember what you were gonna say because I do that and then people forget. I will. Um, so I probably just shouldn't interrupt, but too bad. I interrupt too. I have to say I have always admired the relationship that you have with your husband. Because it ain't perfect. No, it is not perfect, and you two don't pretend that it's perfect. No, you don't even put on a show when there's people there. It's like if he didn't like what you said, he's gonna tell you. And if you didn't like what he said, he's gonna you're gonna tell him. Yeah, it's not a show, it's real. Yeah. But what I have always admired is the fact that when you were on top and you were running, you did it. And then when things shifted and whatever, and now Tony's on top, and he's sorry, I said his name, I hope he doesn't. Um he's doing it.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_00He's carrying it.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_00And but you both that's a partnership.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And to me, that's what marriage is supposed to be. Right. So I love the fact that you know he put in his time and you want him to be able to retire and do what he wants to do.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00But I also guarantee you, I know how much he loves you. And so I know as a man, talk about the fucking pride that he can have in the fact that he's doing what he's doing to give you the time to build and do what you want to do.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. He's always supported me. Always like, babe, I'm gonna leave nursing and I'm gonna leave this six-figure job and I'm gonna take a half of what I'm doing and we're gonna work it out. And we had just built a brand new house. Right, I remember. And I was like, he was like, if that's what you want to do, okay, we'll make it work. Yeah. And then when I 13 or 11 years later, when I decided to leave corporate America, like, babe, I'm gonna go do this. And uh, I don't know what's gonna happen. He's like, Okay, do it. And then he retired from the fire department. He's like, I got another job. They came looking for me, and I've got it, and okay, and yeah, he's always supported me in whatever you want to do, but be successful at it and do it. And yeah that's something that we always wanted our kids to know, and probably we've we're too open and too real with them. Um, but my kids I don't think there's any such thing. They're so freaking.
SPEAKER_00If there were, CPS would have come for me already. So you're good, right?
SPEAKER_03I just want them to be strong, and I mean they are our kids will tell us to our face, like, uh-uh, that's not happening.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I don't agree with that.
SPEAKER_03And I know you and I have talked about generational curses and all that. Like, I want my kids to be open, I want them to know that marriage is not easy. No, you know, my parents made it look super easy, and I ni knowing them now and talking to them now, I know it wasn't.
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_03But growing up, I was like, oh, it's all roses and flowers and everything's beautiful, and they never fight. And no, I want them to know like we're gonna have these hard conversations and you're gonna be part of them if that's appropriate, and you're gonna understand finances and all of those things, you know, and how to stand up for yourself, yeah, and not let people just because they're blood or whatnot tell you what to do. Yeah, you know, and my daughter, there are times when like, I love you, baby girl, and you are so much stronger than I am. Maybe I made you a little too strong for 16, but she is so strong, and my son is so strong, but I think it's because Tony and I were very real with them.
SPEAKER_00Well, they're not gonna be they're not gonna go get pushed around. No, they're not gonna get taken advantage of, they're not gonna be mistreated because they're not gonna take it from anybody.
SPEAKER_03Right. No, they're not, even their parents.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but you know what? And I used to joke with you like, okay, what time of year is Murrow camp? Because I need to send my kid. Um, and but I think those lessons are so incredibly valuable. And I did, I know I interrupted you, but I had to because I've always admired so much that means a lot the marriage and the relationship that you and Tony have, because it that is not easy. And it takes, and there's times you want to run him over, and there's times I'm sure he Would have just assumed you never came home from work.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_00Um, but you get through those moments and you grow stronger through it. Right. And I look at you two now, and it's just it inspires, it gives me hope. Maybe there's someone out there somewhere. Um there it is. Because that's what it's supposed to be like. Yeah. Not easy, not picture perfect, not everything's fantastic, but real.
SPEAKER_03Real. And I think both of us being so driven, you know, him, he was always studying, studying, moving up the ladder. What more can I do? What more can I do? Same with me. You know, we were just, we've got to go. We're that's just who we are. We want to be better. Like you said, if someone can't do it, I know he's done that, I've done that, I can do it, and maybe I can do it a little bit better. Yeah, or I definitely don't want that person. Yeah. So, you know, and so yeah, he's always supported me. And when I decided to do this, he was like, okay, do it. And my kids supported me. I was like, okay, I love to read. I'm a book a holic. And so I told all of them, like, I can't read my favorite book until I finish this course. Until I get it done and I get my certification. And he's always out there, like, hey, what can we do about this? What can we do about that? My kids are always supporting me. But yeah, I wanted to go into legal nurse consulting because I think, you know, with anything, personal injury, with um defense, I mean, all of that. There's people there. Yeah, paralegals are amazing. The world cannot function without them. But they don't know what they don't know.
SPEAKER_00Of course not. You know, and they can't be experts in every single industry. No. And these lawsuits come into play in every single industry.
SPEAKER_03Every single industry. Whatever it is, workers' comp, whatever it is. And just having the moment to say, give me your records. I'm working on right now that's 10,000 pages. And it's just like, okay, I'm gonna go through it, but then it hits you. You're like, as a nurse, you're like, uh, timeout. Why are his respiration so high?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Wait, did no one tell the doctor there's nothing? I mean, it has opened my eyes to the ability, like, oh my goodness, we need to chart so much more. And I think that going to EMRs and all the things we've done, you're just checking boxes. Well, then there's no narrative.
SPEAKER_00You know, how did we get from a normal blood pressure to bottoming out four hours later? Exactly. Where's the path? And there isn't any. And you're exactly right. All of the EMRs click, click, click, click, click, done.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, executed, executed, executed. But okay, but something happened because their respirations are 50. Something's wrong. Are they in severe pain?
SPEAKER_00Did they bleed out? What's happening? Exactly.
SPEAKER_03Or that little thing in the labs, it's like, oh, there's a left shift. And are we going to sepsis? Do we need to do something about this? You know, or should they have done that surgery? Let's step back and look. Well, that wasn't the diagnosis. And so I don't think that someone who doesn't have that medical understanding can do that. Not that they're not. They'd have no idea. They wouldn't have no idea. And everyone's like, oh, AI is going to take your new job. Well, yes, I could throw all these records into AI and it would give you a synopsis, but it's still not going to be able to say, hey, something happened here. Yeah. And so I think that when someone goes into litigation, they want they something has happened. Just like in nursing, right? You don't go to the hospital. Well, they want answers. Yeah. You don't go to the hospital because you just want to go hang out there because it's fun. And I mean, I know we're lovely people, but you don't want to just we're not even that fun. Yeah. You don't want to go hang out with us. And so it's the same thing. You don't walk into a lawyer's office saying, I just want to sit here and get to know you. You know, like I'm good. No, something happened to me and I'm asking you for help. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And so Or my loved one died and they shouldn't have. Please help me. What happened?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, something happened. And so just to be this is my way of being able to help patients still. And even if it's not a patient's, you know, I worked with a local defense attorney, and the defense cases have medical records. You know, and not everyone is, you know, a bad person just because, oh, they're with a defense lawyer. You know, you have to do that. Absolutely not. You do everyone deserves to have their story. 100%.
SPEAKER_00Well, and we also know there's so much frivolous malpractice, it's insane.
SPEAKER_03So much.
SPEAKER_00Um, it's along the lines of a boss who thought patients shouldn't die in hospitals. Yeah. Things happen. And sometimes they happen just because it was that patient's time. And we could have done anything and everything, but somebody up there, I call them my lasso crew, God, the universe, whoever it was, it was that person's time. Um, and so making sure that that nurse that's gonna lose her license over it, or the physician that's gonna lose a year's pay and quadruple their malpractice costs, they deserve somebody to go in and look at it and defend them if it's appropriate.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_00So I love that it's both sides.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and point out when, like, no, we could have done better.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And maybe it the nurses were super understaffed, or maybe you know, there's some things I've been like, I don't know who this nurse is, but she deserves a raise, or he deserves a raise because this is why you're gonna win this lawsuit right here. This one sentence is why you're gonna win this lawsuit, you know. And I don't think not having that person with you, you wouldn't even know that. You know, we can I can help double and triple their payouts, not that it's all about the money, but when you've lost someone or someone has been severely injured or had it. That's a lifelong now. Wrong site, wrong whatever, you know, like no, they we could have done better, and this is where it happened, right here. This is the pinpoint, and that's what you're gonna take into litigation, you know? And so I that I love that it feeds my crime junkie brain, it feeds all that, but then it feeds my ability to still support and care for people not being in the hospital.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you know, so well, and that's honestly one of my favorite things when I talk to people that are nurses, is that I think to go into nursing, I don't know, some of that changed when the financial incentive skyrocketed, but I think for the most part, people that go into nursing do it because they care about other people. 100%. They want to make a difference, they want to help, you know, somebody navigate a difficult situation or help them get better or whatever that is. And I think as hard as it's gotten to do that in a corporate environment, it's very interesting to me to watch, and especially you, because I love you, but to watch what else they do to find a way to use the knowledge and experience and expertise that they have to then still help people.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_00So whether it's helping that doctor save their license or the nurse to keep their license, or it's to help the patient that now has no legs because it was the left one that was to be removed, but they removed the right and have a way to support themselves.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00So I love that, and I love that you're doing that, and I think you're the perfect person to do it. And I love the the crime junkie piece because yeah, talk about getting in there and like digging and finding the why.
SPEAKER_03Just the one thing, and you know it's there. Yeah, you can find it, and you're like, it's and then it's just like oh when it happened the other day, I was like, oh my goodness, I found it. Yeah, you know, and it's just so exciting to be able to send that letter to that lawyer and be like, I got you. Yeah, here it is, here it is, and this is how you're going to win everything. Or, uh, you shouldn't have taken that case.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you know, y'all need to settle and you need to settle fast.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's like backtrack just a little bit, you know, and helping them. And so it's just educating because a lot of the lawyers don't understand what we do.
SPEAKER_00Of course not.
SPEAKER_03And so educating.
SPEAKER_00Just like we don't understand necessarily what they do. Up.
SPEAKER_03I would never, but you know, I'm not trying to take some of your money, I'm trying to make you more money. Yeah, and I'm trying to just save you time and effort, you know, and just make you like understand all of it in one. So yeah, it's great. I love it. I love what I do, I love that, and hoping that business will explode in 2026, manifesting that in 2020. It's going to you and me both. We are gonna be amazing in 2026.
SPEAKER_00Well, I even wore my A. Yeah, yeah. Because I was like, I had Annabelle on, I have Amy, oh my god. And then I'll wrap up with this. So you know that after I blew up my career, it was my birthday. Yeah, and you were the first person that I left the house with to see, and you took me to lunch, and you showed up, and you had no idea you had gone shopping to get me some little something, and you had no idea that 1111 has always been my number for my whole life, and I see it places all the time. And so this 1111 has not come off since the day you gave it to me. Um, but that's the kind of friend you are to me, and so I love that I can share that with other people, and I'm all about 2026 blowing up.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you are one of my, like we've always said, there's five, right? And you've always been one of my five. Yeah. I know that I can not talk to you and then I can shoot you screenshots, like help me. Yeah, and we we talk each other down from the ledge, and or we say you're not crazy. Let's go, let's light them up. What can we do? We ride it down. Yes, I love it. I'll help you bury them.
SPEAKER_00Well, here's to that. I love you. I love you. Thank you so much for coming on. And I can't wait to keep learning what you're doing. Uh, thank you. It's fantastic. You're gonna rock it. All right. Well, here we go. Thanks, everybody. Appreciate you all coming on and tune in for the next one.