Airing Out Your Vagina
Hosted by Allie Trimble-Lozano, hospital CEO turned author, speaker, and executive coach. Airing Out Your Vagina is the unfiltered conversation women in leadership have been waiting for.
This is where we unpack the messy, the meaningful, and the downright ridiculous parts of being a woman with ambition. From boardrooms to breakdowns, motherhood to mic drops, Allie brings raw truth, dark humor, and the kind of wisdom that only comes from burning out, starting over, and finally leading on her own terms.
Pull up a chair, pour a drink, and get ready to laugh, cringe, and maybe even cry a little.
It's time to air it all out!
Airing Out Your Vagina
Manifesting Magic: Creativity, Consciousness, and the Best Possible Life with Amanda North
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Download my free mini-ebook: It's About Damn Time: The Self Check for Women Leaders Who Work Their Ass Off, Play By the Rules, and STILL Get Passed Over.
In this episode, I sit down with my dear friend *Amanda North*, the voice behind The Narrated Life and someone who truly lives at the intersection of poetry, teaching, wellness, and creativity.
Amanda is a poet, professor, wellness coach, and literary gastronome, and every conversation with her feels like stepping into a deeper layer of awareness.
Together, we talk about the magic that exists in everyday life and the real power of manifestation, intention, and creativity.
We explore:
✨How the universe responds when I align my thoughts with purpose
✨Why creative writing has been one of my most powerful tools for clarity and healing
✨How imagination shapes leadership and decision-making
✨Why storytelling is how I make sense of my life
✨And why I’m learning to stop asking “What’s the worst that can happen?” and start asking “What’s the best possible scenario?”
So many of us are conditioned to prepare for disappointment. We plan for failure.
We brace for impact.
But what if we practiced believing in possibility instead?
What if we trained ourselves to expect growth, alignment, and expansion?
This conversation reminded me that magic isn’t something reserved for “lucky” people. It’s something we create through awareness, courage, and consistent intention.
If you’re in a season of rebuilding, dreaming, leading, or becoming, this episode is for you.
Thank you for being here.
Subscribe, share, and let’s keep choosing the best possible story.
All right, guys. So welcome back. And I was gonna say I'm excited, but I'm actually ecstatic to have my friend Amanda on the podcast. And I love to just say my friend because like you're so many different things and it's so incredible. But for me, the best one is friend. I get to call you friend. Yes. Yeah. And I don't call everybody friend. Not everybody, not everybody makes that.
SPEAKER_01You are someone I want in my corner for sure.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. So one of my favorite things that I do is I introduce guests when they come on because I do do some do-do. I do do do some solo, solo recordings. But when I get to have a guest on, I like to share kind of our story or how we met or how that you know relationship came about.
SPEAKER_00Love that.
SPEAKER_03And I love our story. I do. So I'd wanted to have you on right away with Norma and then schedules. So schedules suck. Schedules. But here we are. Here we are. And my favorite piece about our story, one, is that it also happened at Noble House. Yes. So I talk a lot about Norma and the impact that she and the building that she houses her business and her magic in. So special. It is. It's such a special place. And that place has had a massive impact on me and on my life and really on my life trajectory for sure. But I had been invited. I'd been there a few times, gotten to know Norma a little bit, and she invited me to one of her events. And I want to say it was Bossa Nova night. I think so. And I laugh because, and now I can't remember like stuff that I've said on a podcast, things I put in a book. Did I say that in a blog? Or is it just in my brain and it hasn't been said yet? But anyway, it may have already been said. But that was the day that I found this dress in my closet that I had bought on a trip to Mexico and never worn ever in my life. And I thought, oh, that'd be fun. It's off the shoulder. It had kind of a cutout on the side, like not a typical alley dress. Okay. And I thought, I'm gonna wear it. And I put it on and I was so proud. And I walked out, and AJ goes, Are you wearing trash bags sewn together? Oh man.
SPEAKER_01The way that kids can humble you.
SPEAKER_03Thanks, buddy. But I wore the damn dress anyway. And went to the Noble House for Bossa Nova night, and I sat down at a table and I was sitting across from you.
SPEAKER_01Yep.
SPEAKER_03And we struck up a conversation and it just worked. It just flowed.
SPEAKER_01Easy.
SPEAKER_03But I remember telling you you had, you know, you were talking about, you know, some of poetry and some of the different things that you were into and doing and writing and all of your literary gastronomy at the time. Um expertise.
SPEAKER_01Bravo on the pronunciation of that. I was like, that's one of the reasons why it changes the name because people be like, lit it, little bit, get it. And I was like, okay, I need to like this up, but you you nailed it.
SPEAKER_03And now you're the narrated life. Yes. And I think I love both of them. And I think the narrated life probably translates more generally to a lot of what you do. Um, but I loved literary gastronomy because it really made me kind of think um about okay, well, what is it, what's behind that title? Like what's meant by that? But anyway, I mentioned to you, you said, Oh, well, what do you do? And so I said, Well, I'm a nurse and I I'm a hospital CEO and I run facilities, blah, blah, blah.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_03And we started chatting, and I said, But I've actually I've I've kind of started writing, and I think I'm writing a book, but I don't know if I'm writing a book. And you asked me a little bit about it, and I said, It's good, you know, each chapter is based on a meme, and it's just kind of my real life like shenanigans, stories, whatever.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Um, and I told you the title, and I remember you saying, like, you laughed, you know, and you were into it and whatever, and you were like, that is so cool. Like, good for you. Good for you. You were super encouraging without being fake about it. And it resonated so much. And I look now, and you know, a few years have passed, at least what, two or three. And the experiences I've had with you, the trajectory of my life is completely different now. So I'm no longer running hospitals and working in corporate America. Now I'm doing all of this other fun stuff. Fun stuff. But I look back and I'm like, because I said yes to going to one night dressed in trash bags sewn together.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_03And I met you, and now look at us. Look at us.
SPEAKER_01It's crazy. I love this story because, well, one, I love you. And I just love that it's our narrative. It is, but also I love because we both showed up alone. Yeah. Right. And so I feel like it's a great talking point, especially on like the themes of your podcast of like go to the event. Yeah. Show up, you know, and also you're talking about an outfit. Like outfits, I just heard someone who I love listening to a writer, and she was talking about outfits being spells. You know, that there's spells that we're casting of how we're gonna show up in a space. And so it's like you have this outfit on and you set your energy and you set your intention and you have the confidence to show up in a new space, and you're being vulnerable. Yeah. And in that vulnerability, usually we're gonna be more authentic and probably meet our people.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Right. And so it's like, go to the event. Yeah, go alone. I love that.
SPEAKER_03And I think for two, you and I are both, we could absolutely very, very happily sit in a room with books and maybe tea or coffee and some music and never leave again. Right. And so for for somebody like you also to say go to the event. Yeah. Like sometimes you it's another guest recently said it's learning how to be uncomfortable.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_03And learning how to become comfortable being uncomfortable. For sure. Yeah. And I think that's just another iteration of the same thing. Right. Whether it's, you know, say yes, show up, you know, whatever that is, and whatever the specific mantra, it all basically says the same thing. And it's, you know, it's at the end of the day, it's different opportunities to meet different people.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_03I love that.
SPEAKER_01Say yes. Yeah. I think, and I that's like a practice that I'll sometimes either talk about in workshops or clients or do myself, is like, notice how quick your reflex is to say no. No. And so it's like if it's constantly no, then any miracle or you know, manifestation you're trying to create in your life, if you're constantly shutting things off, then you know, yeah. The universe. Yeah, right. Yeah. No, no, no. Try just saying yes as much as possible. So that movie, Yes Man with Jim Carrey. Yeah. Like the same premise. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03What was that? There was a trend for a while too, like with kids, where parents were supposed to because we often say no, right? We don't have time, we don't, whatever. No, no, no. And so it was like a trend there for a while to try to have a yes day with your kid. Like whatever it is that they said or whatever. And so AJ and I, he didn't know the whole background to it, but I in my own mind was like, we're gonna be on this trip together and we're gonna, I'm gonna just say yes, and we're gonna see how that day goes. Right. And it's funny looking back on that now because it's one of my favorite days ever with my son. And he's still he's not old enough. I mean, he is because he's wise beyond his ears. But I'll save that story for him for when he's a little bit older. But I know that that day and the whole day changed because I went into it with an intention. The intention. And I set the intention and I stuck to it, and I showed up. You showed up. Yeah, I love it. I love it. So let's talk a little bit. And that's part of why I said like there's so much to you. And I love that about you. That's one of the things, like, because I think so often people are either this or this or this. And me, I'm all over the damn place. So there's a little bit of a ton of different things in me. And I loved the fact when I spent a little bit of time with you and I really got to know you, that's very true of you. So talk a little bit about kind of your background and how you I joke that I was Ali O G. I have an episode on it. Ali O G and Ali 2.0. 2.0. And I feel like there's a little bit of that to you and to your story. So share what you will.
SPEAKER_01Great question. It's so funny because you know, thinking about coming on a podcast or like when I'm meeting new people, it is, and I'm sure you feel the same way, it's hard because it's like, okay, like what am I gonna present? Right, you know, and it's like it's funny as a one of the versions of me is as a professor, like I'm constantly teaching students and writers like how to distill their life onto the page, but yet I'm like, you know, I'm like, okay, what are we gonna talk about today? Um, so a bit about my background. Um I man, I you're right. I've I've there's a lot of different like facets of me and versions of me. Um, you know, I had an era of my life where I lived in Hollywood and New York City, and I was doing improv comedy and on camera and on film, and then I decided I would finally check out college classes, and I ended up somehow getting in a creative writing class. Maybe it was like a maybe it was an advisor who was really a sage, right? And they were like, I'm just gonna set your life in motion. Yeah. But I got into this creative writing class and um never forget the professor pulled me aside and he was like, Hey kid, I can tell you're running around a lot, but you know you're a poet, right? And I was like, a what? Yeah. A poet. You know, um, but a very pivotal moment for me. Um and so I I went from like performing other people's words on stage and on camera to having the confidence to write my own. Yeah. And then all I wanted to do was write a book, and so I got into um creative writing programs, and in those creative writing programs, I ended up like I think I finished my undergrad in like two and a half years. Wow. You know, because I went away and became a human, then then came back.
SPEAKER_03Um which is what I think we all should do. We all should. I mean, I went straight to high school, then went straight to college, then went straight into working in corporate America. Wow. Like, talk about zero life experience and it cost me. It's tough. Yeah, it cost me.
SPEAKER_01It's tough to go, and you know, like sometimes students will like come to my so you know, there's a lot of stuff in between that, but like eventually I became a professor, like I hated school, and then now I like can't leave it. Isn't that funny? Um very ironic. I think you know, the opposite of love and hate, they're not the opposites, right? It's just indifference. So I said I hated school and now I'm still in it. You're in it. Um my schedule is like on a semester schedule still. But students will come to my office and they'll be like, you know, talking with me about and this is why I started my practice eventually, because I realized like I was having like little microtherapy sessions, but they would come in and be like, you know, um I don't know what to do with my life. I don't know if I really want to major in this, you know, and they're like 18, 19, 20-year-old babies, right? And I don't know what to do, da-da-da. And like they would always be surprised.
SPEAKER_03They're kids. Now it's like you you to get on this trajectory at 14, you need to know that you want to do this, this, or that's because that school is this, and that's I'm like, it's insanity. That's but wild. So it's not even just college kids. Right. It's kids that are my son's age at 14 that have to decide their life path. Right. It's insanity.
SPEAKER_01That's that's too much. It is, it's too much. It is. But students would all like they're always surprised when I'm like, drop out, go travel. Like, just go, you know, go have your have your Jack Kerouac on the road moment, go backpack through Europe, like save up, find a way, do the wild things, and then you figure out who you are, and then you come into this thing of college and you really get something out of it, you know. But students will always be like, What? And I'm like, Yeah, I'm the professor telling you to drop out. Like, don't lean on the real one thing.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Like, you know, you're the you're the one giving this, it is sage advice. What I would give anything for somebody. I was talking recently, I don't regret it. Everything happens for a reason. And I think she set me straight because she said you wouldn't be in the situation you are in now with the ability to do what you're doing now had you not done exactly what you did the way you did it.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_03But I think so, no regrets, and I'm grateful for everything I learned. But yeah, the idea of take a beat. Take a minute. Like you're 18 years old. You don't have to have it all figured out today or tomorrow. Like, go experience life and the world. Like, I hadn't been, I'd been international, but only like as part of a group school thing. So very still amazing, right? But not just Allie figuring out who the hell I was and what I wanted to do. Yeah. What amazing advice.
SPEAKER_01Well, and I think, you know, it's like everyone thought I was insane at 18. I was like, I'm gonna go to Hollywood. All my friends were like going, you know, Texas AM, Baylor, UT, whatever. And I was like, I'm kinda Hollywood in the year, like what are you doing? You know, and sometimes I think like I'll look at my 18-year-old students and I'm like, that's the age. I was just romping around Hollywood, but like, you know, thank goodness there weren't iPhones at that point. So there's not a ton of evidence, which is good. I love it. But it was so formative in the person that I became because it's like you take the risk on yourself at that age, and it just it really did, it shaped the trajectory of everything that I did, you know, and so it's like that professor said you're a poet, so I was like, all right, I'll go to college. But I had, you know, I was 25, 26, and so went through that really quick. And then I had professors be like, hey, you should really go get a master's. And so I applied, got some scholarships, went and got a master's, but only with the intention to create. Like if art, I think when people are like, tell me about your story, who are you, what do you do? I always say, I'm an artist. Like that first and foremost is kind of what guides perception of the world, you know. So I was like, I'm gonna write a book. And then they were like, you know, you might be good with teaching. Do you want to have a position as a TA? So then I taught my first class and I was like, improv, poetry, professor. Like it just worked out, and so it's like I never I don't think I ever set out on a path like, oh, I'm going towards this. It's all just kind of happened.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But so my road to academia was super non-conventional. But and would you have ever in a million years thought you'd still be in it? No. No. Yes and no. I don't know. I feel like once I there were certain professors and mentors, I think there are more mentors that I met, um, that changed my idea of what an academic or what an artist in this kind of professional setting could be. And so then they kind of became my guiding light. You know, like my 67-year-old mentors that are still just like such badass rock stars, you know, that everyone is just like trying to get into their classes. I'm like, dude, that's cool. It is.
SPEAKER_03Like I want to be like them. Absolutely. And you will be, like a thousand percent if you choose to stay in it. Stay in, yeah. I think, you know, there's, and we said there's so many facets to what you do, and I love the fact that you describe yourself as an artist because I do think that that word it encompasses so much, pardon me, of kind of who you are and what you bring to the table. Um, but the way you said it's the way that you look at the world. Yeah. And it's true. One of my favorite moments with you, and I don't even know if you'll remember, but we were talking about um, it was when we were doing the the feminine archetypes. Sure. That class. Okay. And I shouldn't call it a class, I don't know what we would call it, whatever. Right, I know. But it was amazing to know. And it was once a month for basically a year. A year, yeah. Um, at Noble House, and there were meetings where there were a lot of us, and there were meetings where it was you, me, and Norma. Right. And selfishly I got to where I was like, I hope no one comes. Like, I want you to make a lot of money, and I want everybody here, but it's so great when it's the three of us. And it was, it became like a and we joke around about our coven. Yeah, but it really did become kind of a it gave us, I don't want to say a safe space because that's not what it is, but for me, it gave me a place where I got to go and I was just me. Yeah. And I could talk about my family stuff, my work stuff, my kids stuff, divorce stuff, being, I mean, it whatever it was in that space. And it wasn't from a counseling perspective, yeah. So I had that, sure. But this was different because it was three women with three very different backgrounds that found so many different similarities amongst us that it it really did become like a coven. It became that a tight-knit friendship group. Absolutely. But I think listening to you, and I was in the middle of what I call a crisis of faith, um, where I think I was angry and frustrated and and upset and no longer believed in a lot of what I'd been brought up to believe in.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_03Um, and was struggling with then finding what I was gonna believe in. And I felt like to me, the one of the foundational moments was the difference between, and I never realized there was a difference until our conversations, but the difference between religion and spirituality. Right. And to me it was like, well, it's just religion. Like that's all there is. There's a God and there's church and there's it's religion. And I had fallen out of I guess belief in that. And so you would always say, in the God of your choosing. And I love that you said when you I could just listen to you talk for like hours. Norma and I talk about that because of the way that you speak and the way that you enunciate, um, and even your verbiage. But that one phrase made me realize, oh, wait a minute. So there is some other options out here, there is other ways for me to look at this because I felt like that was something that was missing and I missed it. But I knew I couldn't go back to what I had been raised in and believed in because I didn't believe in that anymore.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_03But in that moment with you that day when you said, and you know, look at it from the perspective of the God of your cho your choosing. So talk to me a little bit about how you because you do a lot of different things. Yeah. But talk to me a little bit about how you kind of navigate some of those things. You have someone like me come to you that's in the crisis of faith. Yeah. And, you know, that's not what you coach on, and that's not what, but it all kind of goes together. It goes hand in hand. Um and I think you're you are an artist in that you allow people, you open something, you have that gift. You open something in other people that allows them to find kind of their artist. Does that make sense? That feels really good. Well, I'm glad because it should, but I really do. That's what I feel like you did for me. Oh. Was you gave me we talk about the permission slip that none of us fucking need, but we all want it so desperately.
SPEAKER_01I just want to be a walking permission slip. So this is like feeding that for me.
SPEAKER_03Well, you were that for me because that you showing me there are there's more than one way to skin a cat.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Um, to kind of dumb it down to alley language. But talk to me a little bit about how you approach things when you're working with people. Okay. Um because I've I've learned so much from you in regards to that stuff and and kind of your approach to it. Wow.
SPEAKER_01Thank you. Um, like I mentioned, I was having students, like, so I realized I needed to think about how I could help people um moving forward. Uh, and I didn't know if academia was the perfect setting for me, right? Um, because I was having, like it's sounds like it's like a humble brag moment, but you know, it's like I would have office hours every week and I would have lines of students out my door, right? And it's like they weren't coming to talk about grades. I mean, some of them were, but like and thesis statements, they were wanting to talk about life and religion and identity and purpose and creativity and all of these things. And I realized I love that.
SPEAKER_03It was that is so but that's so you. And it doesn't surprise I mean, I would wait seven hours in a line to talk to you. So I love that.
SPEAKER_01It was it it awakened something in me to understand that art of any kind, and for me, it's on the page, so literature and creative writing, that it's it's not about um one prescription, it's about understanding the human condition. And so when you're teaching and guiding people in literature and creative writing and artistry, you're talking about what it is to be human.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And so it made me start thinking, like, all right, I feel so stifled in academic settings of what I can do and how I can help people. And at that time, I was teaching, you know, magic, mythology, religion, uh, like huge concepts, you know, and guiding students through their understanding and and you know, putting that on the page and reading about it and expanding their awareness. And it's like it at the same time did that for me too. Yeah. And you mentioned, you know, having a crisis of faith. I think anyone on truly on an authentic healing path, or the hero's journey, as I like to refer to it in reference to the great Joseph Campbell, um, is like when we're truly on that path, you're gonna have many moments of crisis. You're gonna have many moments where you wrestle with these gigantic realities that human beings have been wrestling with forever. And so I had that too in academia. You know, I I got so wrapped up in the system that it's like I just became a brain. Got it. You know, like I lost the heart, I lost everything because I doubted so much. And, you know, like at 18, my two choices. Were I was gonna go to seminary or I was gonna go to Hollywood. Yeah. And when I was interviewing in the seminary in Dallas, they talked about how like women couldn't have positions of leadership. And I was like, Crisis of faith. You know, like I was already butting heads with the pastors and being like, why are you interpreting it that way? Why aren't we talking about like Mary Magdalene and her gospels and the Gnostic Gospels? Like, why are we being so limited in perception? So I was like, you know, already turning into this radical little feminist in this situation and being like, okay, this isn't fitting for me. And so then I went like way the other direction and then went into academia, and then I was asked by the honors college to start teaching world religion. Hardest, most difficult task of my life to teach world religion in a Texas college.
SPEAKER_03I can't imagine.
SPEAKER_01And like distill all of that into 16 weeks. I mean, it was it was wild. Yeah. I should have gotten paid more, but whatever. You know, but it was so it was that I that forced a new crisis of faith. So it was like that crisis of faith of like, okay, I'm not fitting in this thing anymore. Then I go off and do something else, and then a crisis of faith of like, but I am at my heart and I always have been a mystic. I have beliefs, I know that I'm a spiritual being having a human experience. I don't fit in these organized situations. And so by having to teach at the collegiate level world religions, I found my faith again in a new way. And it was in that way where I realized all of these practices are saying the same thing. They're using different language, different names, different settings, different metaphors that are pertinent to the land there, you know, like Christ constantly talking about farming and agricultural practices. That was based on what the people were doing. So it was metaphors of poetry that made sense to the audience that he was speaking to. And it was the same thing in like some of the ancient indigenous practices all throughout the Americas, right? They were using metaphor and language that made sense, but the themes, they were all the same. And so I realized that in teaching, and it was that crisis of faith that then led me to be able to, I think, mentor and help people, like you talked about, who also are going through that and give them permission, one permission to have the crisis, yeah, have it, explore it, and then know like you're not really gonna go in the wrong way.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you're gonna find the path that's right for you, right either way. Right. I think for me, and it really was like I look back now and I was struggling so much with that, and I was sad because I'd I'd had such a strong belief, and then it was literally just gone. And I I thought, oh my gosh, like maybe this is a punishment of some sort. Maybe I've like I I looked at it from so many different directions, but I I think and I what I love now is and you know, I don't interact very much um with my family, but one of the last conversations I had um with my dad, he's you know, very religious. He was raised very religiously and very prescriptive religion. And, you know, he he and my mom both had this whole thing about me that you were just so worried about you, you've lost your faith, you're you know, blah, blah, blah. And it was so neat because I I told him, I said, you know, dad, I know you worry a lot about me and you say, you know, that I've lost my way and I've lost my faith. And I said, It's important to me that you understand that that's not true. Right. I don't go to church, I don't sit in the pew with you on Sundays, and I'm happy that you do because you get what you need out of that church and that pew. And so I I don't ever want to take that from you. And I'm glad that it gives you what you need and what you are looking for, but it doesn't mean it doesn't feed me, I don't leave there feeling good. Um, it was the opposite. And I said, but I need you to know that I have not lost my faith. And I said, and as a matter of fact, I think I'm a more spiritual person now by far than I've ever been in my life. And I said, it just looks different than what you're accustomed to. And my mom was there, and they both listened. And then I told my dad, I said, and he it was cute because I said, you know, I'll tell you, I pray all the time. I said, I pray all the time. I said, I pray with AJ, I pray on the way to a big meeting, you know, please help me find the right words and let them have an open heart and open mind. I said, I I talk to my higher power all the time. I said, I don't necessarily do it on bended knee in a church after tithing. And I said, but for me, it feels legitimate and it feels right, and there's a closeness there. And I said, and so eight, and I told him, I said, AJ laughs because when I pray at night now, I say, Dear Lord, universe, spirit guides, guardian angels, ancestors who have gone before me, and my higher self.
SPEAKER_05Beautiful.
SPEAKER_03And then I I speak. And I said, uh, and my dad's kind of looking at me, and my mom and my mom's nodding and like listening, and sure. And um, my dad, it was the funniest thing, and so now I call it the lasso group. But my dad goes, Well, I'm I'm really glad you have them. And he went like that, and I I laughed. And it was one of the kind of like realist moments, I guess, yeah, that dad and I have maybe ever had.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_03But it came from the place that I came to the realization from the permission slip I never needed but wanted and and got, thank you. But the fact that we find what we need in a way that we can. Right. And I think what you give the students that come to you for that um by saying, go find yourself, like what a gift. And for me, you know, I found you helped me with that. And like I said, I am this is definitely not it, like for sure. Um, and I'm so glad to now confidently again know.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Um, you know, I use the term meat suit a lot, and I jacked that for me that yeah, welcome to my meat suit, but there's a whole lot more going on. Thanks, Lady Gaga. Yeah, I love that though, because it's so it's such a great analogy, and it really hit me that like this is not forever. Right. Um, and some of the work that that I've done with you at Noble House, with Norma at Noble House, um, that was one of them. I think another moment was you, you know, part of it was we were supposed to meditate. And I remember laughing and telling you, I can't meditate. Like my brain doesn't stop ever. I can't. And you introduced me at in the moment, you introduced me to walking meditation. So listening to music and and walking and paying attention to your surroundings, and it was more grounding. Um, but it helped me because I was like, oh, okay, I'm not a total screw up. I can meditate. I just maybe can't do it sitting Buddha style with a silent mind. Right. But by you introducing that to me, then it inner it opened my mind, right, to other possibilities and that meditation doesn't have to look like that to be meditation. Um, and that was impactful. And I think, you know, when you talk to different people about things they can do, so when you talk to them about the walking meditation or meditation in general, or you know, some of the different, you know, we do tarot, right? Um, all the different things. Like what are you what are your I guess what are give me two of your favorites. Okay. Um, and you know, why they are and how you kind of talk to other people about them.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Great question. Um, gosh, picking favorites is hard for me. I'm a Libra son. So speaking of tools, astrology. Um, so it happens all the time. Students will be like, what's your favorite novel? What's your favorite?
SPEAKER_05You know, and I'm like, I can't do that, you know.
SPEAKER_01Um, but I would say like two of my favorite, I mean, you mentioned Tarot. Tarot's been pretty radical part of my transformation. Um, you know, in beginning it, and I had a immediate connection to the cards because they tell a story and they tell a story with spirit involved, you know. And so, I mean, it's like it we were meant to be. Yeah. And I had such an immediate understanding of the cards without ever having used them before. And I, in continuing practice, learned that I have tarot readers in my matriarchal side of my family.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, so I have great aunts that were readers, so that's a big part of my practice. Um, and then I yeah, I would say my number one practice that changed my life is meditation. And um in starting my own meditation practice, I really began it kind of based in a Buddhist lineage, based on a lot of the teachings of the late great Tiknyat Han. And learning how to meditate in that vein was so transformational for me. It it taught me how to silence the mind, right? Or like in you know yoga when they refer to it as the monkey mind. And you know, what I'll explain to people and what we probably what we talked about is like what we know from a neurological perspective or neuroscience perspective is we have anywhere from 6,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day. Majority of them are repeating, and majority of them are negative. Yeah. And so the way I explain it at the narrated life is I say, like, we're telling ghost stories over and over and over. And if we're not consciously trying to not take and chase every one of those thoughts, then it's controlling our life.
SPEAKER_03Literally.
SPEAKER_01Literally controlling our life. And the way that the brain works is like what it knows is what it looks for out in the world. And so if you're constantly playing the worst case scenario in your brain, the way our brain is based on survival mechanisms to do, then you're just looking for it every day, you know, unconsciously. And you're gonna find it. You're gonna find it. And you wonder, people will be like, I just don't know why, right? Why am I picking the same guy over and over again? Why am I stuck in the same fight like work positions that I've been in for so long? And it's like we almost don't realize how much power we have to consciously narrate our lives if we infiltrate it with tools that can let us be able to consciously narrate. And meditation for me is just a non-negotiable. But there's so many ways you can meditate, and it's again giving someone permission to know like however you come to the God of your understanding in prayer or meditation or contemplation or silence or tarot or tithing, whatever way you do that, do it from a place of desire and consciousness. And it's like the world is so complex, and to think that our same practices that we grew up with or that we inherited, they weren't even really ours. Right. Like we can outgrow them. And if you truly believe in, you know, some great um some great omniscient being that's or beings that have created life as it is here, I think that that entity can go by multiple names and have multiple rituals and probably be okay with it.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like, I don't think that if if God fits the idea that most people define it as, which should be undefinable, like that entity can handle a lot of different terminologies that we're using to try to understand. So for me, meditation and tarot have been radical in this era of my life. I love that.
SPEAKER_03I love it, and I love so the meditation piece for me, like I mentioned, was hugely transformational from the perspective of I realized as a perfectionist and a people pleaser, I I looked at meditation like you see the pictures, and it's somebody sitting on a pillow in perfect stillness and everything's lovely and doing this, right? I mean, yes, yeah, and so I thought, well, I can't even sit like that because my hips don't do that, so I can't meditate. I can't then and then I couldn't shut my brain off. And so, you know, I quoted and I laughed because I actually commented on one of his posts recently, and he was like, I can't wait to see what you pick for book two. And I was like, Yogi Brian actually acknowledged and said something back.
SPEAKER_01Wow.
SPEAKER_03Because in book one, I commented, I had found him on social media, right? And I think he's hysterically funny and like me. His favorite word in the English language is the F-word. Yeah. And so, you know, he'll say, Take a deep breath in and then say, fuck coming. And I was like, see, that I can do. I can do that. Yeah. But he was talking the other day and I watched one of them, and I I haven't subscribed to a Substack and I need to. But I was watching and he was talking about how, and it was that same idea. Like, meditation doesn't have to be perfect. And he said, the number one thing I get, and I started dying laughing because I was like, oh my God, I was that person to Amanda. Holy shit, but she's still my friend, so it's okay. But he said he gets all the time. I can't meditate, like I can't. Yeah, my brain doesn't, my brain won't allow it. And I think it's we're doing the world a disservice by not helping as many people as we can understand that one, there is no perfect, no perfect, and no one's ever gonna be able to completely shut off their mind and not have any of those thoughts. The brain doesn't work that way.
SPEAKER_01And so what this is about, yeah.
SPEAKER_03He described it, and it's very similar to kind of the way that you help me. And he described it as instead of it's just not focusing on the thoughts. He was like, Like, look at them, you're gonna see, yep, there's another one, yep, there's another thought, and it's like clouds that are floating by. And I remember you saying it's acknowledging that the thoughts are there without grabbing on to them. Yeah. And I think when you say, you know, your mind, thousands and thousands and thousands of thoughts all day, every day. Nonstop. Well, when you say, and you know, I I believe that from the depths of my soul now, that when you go out into the world with a negative mindset and you're looking for unintentionally, but you're unintentionally still looking for validation of your negative thoughts that everybody's mean or nobody likes me, or I'm this or that, or whatever it is, you find it. You're gonna find it. The same way if you go out and you're looking for the moments of joy, right? You're looking for the flower blooming and the crack on the cement. When you go out and you're looking for, again, unconsciously, but if you can flip it from the negative that is our conscious, right, that is built into our systems at no fault of our own. No fault. When you can flip that and start consciously looking at things and for things and those moments that disprove the built-in negativity, it's life-changing. It's completely life-changing. And I think that was my probably, and I'm not a huge like I don't listen to a lot of Oprah stuff, but one of my say aha moment all the time because I love her description of that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And that was one of my biggest aha moments with you was the fact that we're gonna find what we're looking for. Yeah. And so if we're looking to prove the negative, you're gonna prove it. Right. And I realized one of the ways that I would say I've made most of my life decisions, and it was mortifying when I realized it. And I had said it recently actually to AJ when he was trying out for the basketball team. And I said, the way that I've always looked at stuff, Amanda, is what's the worst thing that could possibly happen?
unknownUh-huh.
SPEAKER_03And then go, yeah, well, it's not death, so it's survivable. So the worst thing that could happen to AJ if he didn't make the basketball team was he'd be disappointed because he didn't make the basketball team. Right. Now he did correct me and say, No, it would be people laughing at me because I screw up and I told him, Don't worry, I'll shank them, so we're good. There will be no one laughing at my kid. Protective mama. But I thought that night, and he's handled it amazingly. But I realized that night what would change? Because I've shifted so many things, right? Yeah. What would change if instead of making decisions based on what's the worst thing that could possibly happen, what's the best thing that could possibly happen? The best thing. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01That's one of my favorite thinking and writing prompts that I give people.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Imagine the best possible scenario. The best possible scenario, because we give so much mental real estate to the worst case, as you're talking about. And again, not faulting ourselves and like learning that that's just like in many neuroscience perspective, that is a way that the brain functions is to look for that so we can literally survive. Yeah. But if we can consciously get in front of that and say, like, what is the best possible outcome? So often we end up narrating that then. Like if we can imagine it, because if you can imagine it, why would you imagine it if it wasn't possibly yours? Right. Why why why would it be part of your consciousness if it wasn't part of your plan and your purpose in this world? And so that's like with writing. I mean, I always tell people, I can't meditate, I can't write, right? Those are the things. So, like Yogi Brian, like I get that all the time. I can't write, I can't meditate, I can't quiet my thoughts, I'm not religious, I don't know how to cook, I'm trying to think of all like the negatives that I get, um, I don't have time. Maybe when my kids are graduating, right? Like so many excuses, and they're all coming from that worst case scenario. And I get it. It's like it's very real aspects of being alive and having the human boundaries of the human condition. But it's like, could we just open up? So I I'll tell clients, I'm like, just invite in the thought, yeah. What's the best possible outcome? And think of it to the detail. What would you look like? What would what would your relationships be? What job would you be in? How would you be supporting and healing other people? What would you look like in that moment? And typically in two to three years, that person has created that reality. Yeah. Always. Because it's like you open that up. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Well, you you and your I will say sage wisdom and advice has had a significant impact on me. And I will tell you it's funny because I I mean, I remember sitting in the basement of Noble House, and you know, you had given us a journal prompt and we were sitting there writing. And by then, I mean, I was still working a crazy job and living a crazy life and traveling nonstop. And I mean, it was it was nuts. And AJ was really struggling, and there was a lot going on with my family. I mean, I was in the pits of it. Yeah. And I remember you saying, like, what would uh close your eyes, think about it, and then write. It's a per it's your perfect day. And what does it look like? And where are you? And who are you with? And what is that relationship like? And what and you did all of all of those magical things. And I look now, I'm not there yet, but I'm way closer to there than I was sitting in that basement two or three years ago.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And there's magic to that, and there's artistry to that, and you bring that out of other people. And so my goal is to keep going on that journey, keep learning. Like I said, learning the other day, man, I still say what's the worst thing that could possibly happen. Even though I've shifted from looking for negative, I'm always looking for moments of joy now. And I find them all the time in the craziest situations, moments that there should not be joy here, and we're dying laughing. It's it's perfection.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_03But the realization that, oh my God, but in that one way, look, I still do it. Right. And so it's a journey forever. It's a journey forever. Um, but you've had such an impact on mine. Oh. And I can't wait. We're gonna have we're gonna have you're gonna have to be on like regular.
SPEAKER_01I would be a regular rotation. It's all normal.
SPEAKER_03We need one with you, me, and Norma. But it it'd have to be like a double episode.
SPEAKER_01I mean, we would be hours.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. But we we'll have to do that. But I want to ask you before we wrap up today, I ask every guest kind of a similar version of this. And so for you, if you had to pick a belief, so I talk about Ali OG and Ali 2.0. Um, if you had to pick a belief that you had to let go of, kind of reimagine, whatever that is, to become the Amanda you are today, what would that be?
SPEAKER_01It's a good question. You know, asking good questions is an art. So bravo, my friend. Um so what would I have to unlearn? I think that that's such a wise way to phrase that. Because like one of my understandings of the world is that we really are not on the process of taking in more, we're in the process. Process of remembering. Yeah. Right? And so in order to remember, you kind of have to unlearn the stuff that's been piled on us because, you know, you mentioned like one of the phrases I use a lot, like, you know, this is our meat suit for the spiritual experience that we're spiritual beings having a human experience. It spoke to me in a way nobody else's explanation ever had. Of the spirit. Yeah. It's like grounded again, credit Lady Gaga as well as meat suit.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um but and just she was so smart. The way she explained that was like in that idea. Like that it was this manifestation of this make taking that idea to the literal. But it's like, so if that's true, right, if we truly are these, you know, spiritual beings having this experience, then really a lot of it is unlearning so we can remember what we came here knowing. You know, and so I think there's always a reason why the the most sage guides have a childlike quality, you know, like Dumbledore and uh Gandalf. Like they're silly because it's like you're remembering just the nature of all this. So what I've had to unlearn to remember to really become this version of myself is um to trust my intuition beyond logic. So, and I see this, you know, I'd say like in my practice, I probably work with like maybe like 70% women. And so I do see this as very common with women, and like we've all heard it, like we've been at happy hour with friends who are moms, and they say, like, oh gosh, yeah, I haven't been doing Pilates, yoga, gym, whatever, the thing that they were doing for themselves, because I have to do X, Y, and Z for everyone else. So what is the first thing to go for most women when life becomes stressful?
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Themselves. Right? We we let go of our needs and roles.
SPEAKER_03To all of our roles. All the roles, right?
SPEAKER_01Like, so I've got to, I've got to do. I'm not being, I'm doing. And so I think of that as the same way, like something happens to our intuition that we begin to suppress it and deny it. When really, you know, when you talk to people that are kind of on the other side, on the other side of the river of divorce, a career change, a dark night of the soul. Or all of it, all of the above. Because it all typically happens at the same time, let's be honest, right? Um tower, tower, tower, right? So you're on the other side and looking back, and a good question to ask is like, when did you know? When did you know you should have walked?
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because it was way before when you we did. And that's because so often we deny our intuition because we don't have like the logical components. Like, I just can't know. And I think the best way to describe it is like any person who's been cheated on knows exactly what I'm talking about. That moment where you knew, yeah, you couldn't quite explain it. Yeah, but you knew, right? But you knew, like you sensed it, right? That intuition was like, hey, yep, wake up, you know, and so I think for me, the most pivotal thing, pivotal thing has been to trust my intuition, even when I don't, as a writer, as a thinker, have the words for it, yeah, which is hard for me. Yeah, you know, but to trust it, because every time I've denied it in my life, every time I've suppressed it and explained it away for the sake of someone else or something else or a role that I need to play, it's always to the detriment of me and everyone around me. Yeah. So that's that's probably number one. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03You nailed it. You absolutely nailed it. And I think I that level of intuitiveness, that level of intuition, I think is it's a muscle. Yes. Um, and I'm I'm listening to it more and more. And the way that I can say I can identify for sure is the fact that the path I'm on right now, logically, makes no sense. Yeah. So I'm a registered nurse. I have an MBA. I was a multi-hospital CEO and a VP of operations for close to a decade. Yeah. I was on that career trajectory. Right. And despite that career trajectory and the knowledge and experience and expertise I had there, I wasn't fulfilled. I wasn't in the right place. I felt I wasn't. I blew it all up knowingly, kind of blew it all up, and have stuck to the path because there's somewhere here, there's somewhere here, there's somewhere here where I just somehow know that it's gonna be good. Yeah. And there's no rational explanation for that for me to go to living on savings as a single mom, start a business, do like logically, it's absurd. And yet I'm so calm and confident that I'm we're okay, we're good. We're good. And so I feel like although I'm the hero's journey, um it's always moving. Yeah, but I feel like again, I look where I was a year ago, two years ago, five years ago, and where I am now, and I want to thank you because you're a big part of that transformation. And uh I can't wait to have you on again.
SPEAKER_01Thank you.
SPEAKER_03You promise you'll come back forever and ever. Okay, very good. Well, we'll do it and we'll do it soon. You're amazing. You're a rock star. All right. Well, everybody, thank you so much for tuning in today for uh my amazing conversation with Amanda, and we promise to bring her back. Um, we'll do one with Norma. I think that would be so much. Oh, that would be fun. Okay. We'll try to try to be on good behavior. No, there's no there's no reason for that. Norma will be there, it's impossible. All right, thank you so much, and we will see you again in a week or so.