Grief, Reinvention, and the Chingona Life with Ana Diaz

Download my free mini-ebook: It's About Damn Time: The Self Check for Women Leaders Who Work Their Ass Off, Play By the Rules, and STILL Get Passed Over.

In this episode, I sit down with Ana Diaz for a conversation that feels both tender and powerful.

We talk about grief. Not just the kind that comes from losing someone you love, but the grief that comes from losing a job, a role, a version of yourself, or a future you thought was certain. We talk about what happens after the loss. After the shock. After the world keeps moving and you’re still trying to breathe through it.

Ana shares her personal journey navigating grief within her family and her work life, and what it has taken to rebuild from that place. We talk about responsibility, resilience, and what it means to keep showing up even when your heart feels heavy.

We also dive into Latina power. The cultural strength, the expectations, the pride, and the fire that lives in us. Ana opens up about stepping into entrepreneurship and launching her new event planning business, and what it means to create something of her own after everything she’s walked through.

And yes, we talk about the “chingona life.” What that really means. Not perfection. Not hustle for the sake of proving something. But courage. Ownership. Identity.

Choosing yourself.

This conversation is about reinvention. It’s about honoring your roots while building your next chapter. It’s about understanding that grief may reshape you, but it does not define your ceiling.

If you’ve ever had to rebuild after loss, this episode is for you.

Make sure to subscribe and share with someone who needs this reminder: you can grieve and grow at the same time.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Hey everybody, I can't believe we're already back again for this week's podcast episode. But I'm thrilled to introduce my amiga, my friend Ana Diaz. Hello. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you. Oh my God. I'm excited to be here. What can I say? I love it, it's so fun for me because I get all excited when I am talking to somebody and we're having a conversation and I think, oh my God, this would be the best podcast episode. You should come on the podcast. And it's fun because I've had a couple people look at me and be like, yeah, no, absolutely not. One of them I'm flabbergasted, but she's like, that's just not my thing. So it's exciting to me when I feel the vibe and I think it's going to be a good thing. And then I reach out and the person goes, Oh my God, yes. Yes. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

For me, I mean, my thoughts was like, How much filter do we need to?

SPEAKER_01 0:54

I always joke. The team here is amazing. Um, and I tell them that I look much better here on camera than I do anywhere else. So I try to take most pictures here. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:05

So filters for sure. No, speaking ones, we'll see.

SPEAKER_01 1:08

Right? There might be a lot. At least here, I I do drop the F bomb when appropriate. I just speak my mind. And so since it's YouTube and whatnot, like I don't get beeped out. If I was on live TV, it'd be a problem.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

That's good. I mean, I mean, come on, we've done shadows in.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

I'm the person when you call me and I'm like, you're on speaker. I always tell people, like, you're on your own. If you didn't warn me, it's your fault. True. So I love starting each episode with my guests, um, sharing basically how I met this individual or how our paths crossed or whatever. Because um, I think, you know, I talk a lot about how different relationships are, some are for seasons and some are for a lifetime. Yes. Um, but I love sharing how I met people and kind of that season. And so I had AJ had been um in private school and we did St. Clement's and then we were at St. Mark's during COVID because I wanted to do public school, but they weren't going back to school and I had to work. So um we stayed in private, but I ended up moving AJ for middle school because I thought it's either it's now or never. And so I moved AJ to WIGS. Um, and it was you and I've joked about it, it was a little bit of a culture shock. Um, but it's been phenomenal. It's been the best experience. And that's where I met you. Yes. So I was there and Kelly and Soraya had invited me to come help at some PTA thing. Um, and I was laughing because I used to refer to myself as the PTA imposter because they'd give me a shirt or whatever, and I'd show up and sell stuff or do whatever. But I could never really, I always joined PTA, but I could never commit to like a role because my travel schedule was ridiculous with work, like everything was nuts. And so I met you, and at the time you were the president of the PTA. And what I loved about you is my experience prior to that with I'll just call it the PTA Mafia. Um, in my prior lives was this very judgmental group. It was, you know, well, what do you mean you can't join the PTA and come to meetings every Tuesday and Thursday at 10 a.m.? And it was like, well, because I'm running hospitals in multiple markets, so I can't do that. Um, and I loved the fact that you also were a crazy career-driven, very, very, very busy mom, who then somehow amazingly filled the role of PTA president.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

Oh girl. I mean, what can I say? You know, and I always love sharing the story, and I told you um the day that my son's kindergarten teacher told me, Oh, you're hostess, mom, we love his grandma, like Giltrep hit me and I was like, I need to be here, I need to do something, like I don't want to be known, like, oh, here you are, you know. Yep. And that's when I was like, I have to find a way. And I mean, you know, that it's like the village is like my mom is in whether she likes it or not. You know, my husband was there, and that's how I started PTA, and it's true because when I first joined was in the elementary school, and it was a battle, you know, like everybody was like either they had their own business or they had their flexible hours or they were stay-at-home moms or anything. Yeah, so that's why I made it kind of a a journey that is like we can all support each other, we can just do our own little things that we're good at, you know. If we don't have enough time, maybe you can do communications because that's easy, you don't have to be here. Yeah, you know, and it was a change that went through the years, yeah, but I kept like I loved it, and I love doing that. And I did it at Western Hills for elementary school, then somehow I ended up doing that for council levels at the district wise, you know, and that was the year. It was a year post-COVID, so it's just like, oh my god, wow, I got myself into like what the hell's going on here, you know. And then I remember going to Wix, like all I did was literally send an email and I was like, hey, like, when is the next PTA meeting? I would like to like check it out. Will we moving? And I ended up the president. I was like, oh my lord, what are we doing here? But you know, I think that PTA has been the way that I've found a lot of the friends that I have, yeah, and that includes you, you know. Um, like elementary school, I still have one of the the best friends that she's she's been amazing. And now that we just went through our loss and everything, like she's been there to her size. The kids known each other since little, and then now Wigs like extended family, yes, you know, and then like Wigs with Callie and Soraya, they were my face, you know. And I can't I'm almost sure a lot of teachers still don't know who I am, but don't know who they are. Yeah, and I mean, and then I met you, and you know, and that's how it comes. And the way that I've always referenced myself is like kind of the uh bad mom's movie. Yeah, you know, that's like just real, exactly. Let's be real, it makes it everything better, and you know, and it's it's for them. So that's why I love it.

SPEAKER_01 6:12

Well you were successful, because I will tell you it changed my perception completely because I went from thinking of the PTA mafia that I was accustomed to to hey, you're welcome here, and to your point, like okay, you can maybe your company can sponsor an event, or maybe you're maybe you can't donate time all the time. But you were the first person I came across in my journey as a mom that allowed me to feel welcome and part of something without having to live and breathe it 24 hours a day. And I don't know, I think you knew that I knew Kelly and Soraya from back at St. Clement's. They were, you know, the moms of two girls that AJ went to, I guess, Kender through second grade with, and we adored each other.

unknown 6:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:59

And then um I moved AJ, couldn't afford St. Clement's um and spousal support and whatever through the forest. And then a pay cut during COVID. Yeah. So I ended up moving AJ um and he was at St. Mark's. And so when I I had gone actually, and it's funny because we're close to Valentine's, but I had done a I'd gone to a Galantine's Day party and Kelly and Soraya were there. It was kind of a meeting of the old group, and I walked in and they screamed and we were laughing. And then they said, Well, where's AJ gonna go to middle school? And I looked at them and I was like, You're gonna think I'm nuts and I don't want to hear about it, but I'm moving AJ and we're going to wigs. And they started screaming and they were like, Shut up, so are we. And it was like we're all back together. Yeah. So that's where I met you, and that's really where I got kind of the first taste of what I think of when I think of Anna. And that is open arms. How can I help you? How can I lift you? How can I support you? You know, what are you working on? And making everyone feel like they have a contribution to make. Yes. So um, I can't thank you enough for that and for that opportunity. Um, and I want to talk about, so that's how we met.

SPEAKER_00 8:13

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 8:13

Um, and then, you know, God, they're eighth graders now, so we're headed to high school next year, but we won't talk about that because I don't want to. To early so right, but it's been three years um going on, and a few months ago, um, I talk a lot about in life, about, and you know that, great grace, and gratitude. Yeah. And that anything can happen at any given time. And, you know, whether that's losing a job, you know, a divorce, um this is something we don't typically talk about. Um, and I remember when it was Kelly that reached out and said, Hey, I don't know if you know. Um, and you lost your life partner, your husband. Jose passed.

SPEAKER_00 9:01

Yes. So he passed in the cloud.

SPEAKER_01 9:03

And I'll cry with you if you get emotional.

SPEAKER_00 9:06

But it's you know, like you said, life is like a journey, and there's a lot of griefs and changes, and I mean, I cannot even tell you because I had already experienced griefs in the ways of like losing a baby as a six month pregnancy, you know. Not a lot of people know that because we always kind of cover in the oh, it's too much to say, or but people don't think it's a lot, it's not comfortable. Exactly. People don't want to know the hard stuff. Or and then we experience miscarriages, um, experiencing the loss, the death of my grandmother who raised me, you know. So you think you're prepared and you know, but losing him and especially unexpectedly, yeah, was definitely a change. And I want to say it's like a change because it opened up like everything, you know, like whether it was positive or negative, and losing him was shocking. And I I I'm open about it as far as like I can I I have his picture on my nightstand and I look at him and I'm like it's it just doesn't click, you know? Because obviously when you have a divorce, people move out and if you have struggles, you can fight, you can do this. But now it's like, whoa, I cannot come and talk to you or like fight with you, you know, or if I go to the closet, his things are there, and I don't feel comfortable moving anything because it's like it's not right. But it's it's a work in progress.

SPEAKER_01 10:43

Oh my god, how could it not be?

SPEAKER_00 10:45

And you know, and and honestly, my kids are the ones that are like they when they tell me you're so strong, it's like, no, they are strong. Like, I could not even do half of this. Like, I literally get up because I know that if they can do it, like holy crap, I can't. Yeah, if they can get up and go to school, I can get up and face life. Yes, yes, you know, especially. I mean, Jojo, my son, he's 14, and he fully has focused his life in football. Yeah, so he's so concentrated right now. He's literally like he did his Instagram and his ex account, and oh my god, I have scouts, and he's like, Mom, I got invited to this, and I love that he's facing it on that, yeah, you know, and I'm like, okay, and and then my five-year-old and Sophia, she was a full daddy's girl, you know, and but not more than like three times since almost four months ago, he passed, or four months. Um, she's missed school, you know. Like she gets up and she'll say, I miss my daddy, but she goes, you know, and she's like, Oh, remember daddy this, remember daddy that. And I mean, the youngest one, same thing, you know. So they they have been definitely the example to follow, you know, with like if they can take on life and do that, like maybe I should do the same. Maybe I have to do it like that.

SPEAKER_01 12:11

Well, I I admire you tremendously. And I've shared that with you. Yes. Um, we I reached out because I waited. I mean, you we knew each other um well enough that I felt comfortable reaching out, but not well enough that I considered myself part of your inner circle at the time. Um, and that's shifted some, and I'm grateful for that. But um, I remember when we met, um, I do the thing on Facebook every year where I post a thing and I say, okay, well, anybody that will repost this and do the same, let's pay it forward, pick somebody and just do something nice. Um, and I thought, you know what? I really want to get to know Anna better. And so I picked you when we went to lunch and you know, whatever, I gave you a little goodie bag, but I had the best time at lunch with you because it was this. It was just real conversation, no pretense, no bullshit, just two women talking about life. Yeah. And when you shared about, you know, people keep telling me how strong I am. And I remember telling you, I've gotten to where I'm very careful about giving that compliment because I do believe now I'm back to where I can say it's a compliment. For a little while, I was like, don't fucking tell me I'm strong. Um, it is meant as a compliment. Yeah, but the reality is nobody wants to be strong. No, right? Nobody wakes up and goes, Oh, I want everyone to think how strong I am. Oh, yeah. It's just that life life and life is gonna life. And completely I won't pretend for an instant, and I tell you that all the time, when you vent to me or you talk to me, like I I can't understand. And I, you know, on this one, I'm not married, don't know that I ever will be again. Um, but I I cannot imagine that because there's a finality to losing someone literally that isn't part of other types of loss. So divorce is hard, right? Um but the person didn't exit the universe, exactly, right? I mean, that person is still physically here. And with Jose, he's not. Exactly. And so, you know, I I I cautiously say how strong you are, um, but I say it from a place of I mean, it it's awe on my part to see, and it's not, I've seen it when it's not this, right? When when it isn't amazing, and so I want to be very cautious and and say, people are so judgy about how anybody processes anything. Yeah, and so I I I don't want to have you on and people be like, it's only been four months, and she's on so screw them, first of all, um, if somebody's gonna be judgy. But the reality is I am watching you navigate this in real time. And the good days and the really humdinger shitty hard ones. And to see a mom have to go through that, I can't, and I've told you, I can't fathom. I know what it was like from a divorce and hiding in the shower and crying at night because I didn't want AJ to know. Yeah, I cannot even fathom. And knowing that Jojo is at the same school in the same grade and is the same age of AJ. I mean, the resilience that he has shown is incredible. Yeah. And he worries about you.

SPEAKER_00 15:39

Yes, he's he's my he's my hero, you know. And um I mean, what can I tell you? Just he's he's there, he's always been a mama's boy, and I'll tell you that. Yeah, and and he's been amazing, but at the same time, like one of my main focusing worries is telling him, like, I don't want you to feel like because of this, your dreams, the way that you see yourself has to change. I don't know. You know, and and I don't want him to, you know, the same way with the girls. And and I think it goes back to, and I was thinking after like everything that we've gone through and everything as far as getting closer and all of it, and like just like I say, screw what people think, and it's because not only not just myself as far as in my culture, you know, as being full Mexican, Mexican American raisin quad is in here, you know, and everywhere. Um, the imposter syndrome is so hardcore, and it's always like I uh that's why I'm always sharing memes on my page. I know that, yeah, yeah. Because I'm literally the way that is like I tell you my story, and people are looking at me like, what may you just lift? Because everybody's always pushing you, like, well, I suffer this. Yeah, so what makes you think you're better or you're suffering more? Like, if it was a competition of like who struggle the most or who's suffering the most, or well, and who what kind of who the fuck wants to win that competition? Exactly, you know, and it's like it shouldn't be people do it all the time, exactly. And it's like if we're all about female empowerment and supporting each other, and we have to do better, and we we're Latinas, and we're doing this, and we're El Paso Strong, and everything is like then why do we still constantly have that competition as to well, yeah, you had a divorce. Well, I'm a widow, who wins now? It's like that's not how it should go, you know? And and that's one of the transitions.

SPEAKER_01 17:36

It's a woman's thing, exactly. It's a women's thing, it drives me freaking nuts. It's a competitive doesn't matter what it is, we'll even compete to be worse off.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

Yes, and it's so crazy. And you know, I've never and I've always been like, if I like your vibe, I like what you're doing, I see it inspiring, I want to cheer on that, I want to push it. And you see, I want other people to know, oh my god, you've been unbelievable with me. And do this with Allie, you know, because I truly see it, and because I always say it and even career-wise and PTA-wise, I want to be for others the way that I wish others could be before me. You know, when I would start at UTEP, that my mom felt like she was worth the size because she didn't know English, because at that time she didn't have papers or anything. I didn't want parents for other students to feel that way. So that's why I wanted to dedicate my life at UTEP at Texas Tech. You know, when first gen students felt like, oh my god, how can I do this? The struggles, the language barriers, anything. I wanted to be like, hey, like I didn't become a doctor like you did or like you're gonna do, but I'm gonna be here to share your own, to help you. And that's always how I did it. But with Jose's passing, you know, I tell you, the band just kind of left it of my eyes. Yeah, you know, and at the same time that I saw so many people reach out to us and be like, oh, we met Jose when he worked in Las Palmas, oh, we met Jose here, oh like we remember Suegras, so my mom food, you know, and and you guys help us with PTA. We help us in such a large community that I was like, so the good that we've done has actually paid off. It's it's paying off and it's there. And and at the same time, it was like, okay, then people are gonna still be mad at me or not like me or kind of blame me that I had to shift automatically or differently because my husband died, yeah, you know, and they expected for me to change.

SPEAKER_01 19:37

I can't work 16-hour days anymore, and I'm the only parent.

SPEAKER_00 19:40

And and I remember seeing a TikTok that said, um, crazy lady crazy things they did as a widow now.

SPEAKER_03 19:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:46

And that girl had said, like, people looking at me like I'm weird because I quit my job the next day after my husband died.

SPEAKER_03 19:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:54

And part of me was like, Well, I'm not gonna do that. Yeah, what is she gonna do? What is she saying? You know, and months later, here we are. Yeah. And um having lunch the other day with Chelsea, who is though Nerchu Carol, like she's been another amazing mentor. That's such a cool shop. Oh, I love her shop and everything and her story. And she asked me, she's like, Well, do you regret it? Do you regret uh quitting your job? And I was like, you know what? I don't, yeah, I don't. And is now this change, this adaptation of like, yes, I'm grieving so many things all at once. I'm grieving losing my partner for 15 years, you know, losing my job, losing family members that don't speak to me, um, losing friends or people that I thought that were my friends, you know.

SPEAKER_01 20:48

Um, what you and I talk about and the parallels.

SPEAKER_00 20:53

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 20:53

And I think that was so that was such a big part of why I wanted you to come on and talk about it, is that I think we all everybody's navigating their own journey, and nobody's journey is the same as anybody else's. But the reality is so much of what we're navigating, if you and I always say, could you make it for idiot proof so that I understand? But if you if you kind of dumb it down and you look at the themes, very similar. Oh, yeah. It's trying to be the best mom I can possibly be to my kid. You have three. I say all the time, God was like, just give her one. Like this bitch can't handle it, just give her one. And I can't imagine that. I can't imagine, you know, my I blew my life up by taking a totally different path. You know that. Um, but when you say, I love that she asked you, do you regret it? And that your answer is no, because the reality is now that it's done and you're doing, you know, and we'll talk about I want to talk about what you're doing now. But I think we're so programmed to think that this is what success looks like. Here's what What success looks like. And so then you spend the majority of your life, right, working towards what that success you were told looks like. And then you get there to a degree, right? And you start looking around, and it's like, well, yes. But this isn't success because now I'm single mom, three kids. Yeah. And so I don't really care what my job title is. I want to be able to take my kids and pick them up from school. Yeah. I want to still be able to be part of PTA and supporting. You were freaking Western Hills yesterday serving food to people.

SPEAKER_00 22:39

And I mean to where we're going to Wiggs, actually.

SPEAKER_01 22:42

Um but I feel like when you look at that, and I do hope that you did genuinely feel the support. Um, because I think that's what you do it because you want to do it, right? But sometimes you can't help but wonder. I've told you, like doing the podcast and all this other stuff. I'm like, is anybody even listening? Or people are like, what is this crazy lady yapping about again? And I think when you get those messages from people, oh my God. Yes. So I'm so glad that you got those messages, that you did feel that love and support. You touched on something that I want to, and you didn't say it full out, but we've talked about it. And when you said your biggest thing was wanting not wanting Jojo to feel like his life trajectory has to change. And we met last week and we were laughing, kind laughing and crying both. But and you said it, and I almost fell out of my chair, and I was like, Oh my god, I can't tell you how many people I wanted to like fight because they would tell AJ, Well, you know, AJ, now you're the man of the house. I'm like, he's fucking six. Exactly. No, he's not, he's my son, and I'm now the man and the woman of the house. But don't put that on him. And I remember, and you said it earlier here without saying man of the house, but by saying you don't want Jojo to feel like, well, I better let go of football because that's a lot more work for mom, or I'm not gonna go away to school because I need to stay home and be. No, you want Jojo to live his life. Just I mean, but I loved that when you said that the other day because I think that's something that so many, especially divorced moms, um, moms that have lost their partner, I know we all identify with that because at the end of the day, this this is a child. Jojo's not the man of the house.

SPEAKER_00 24:32

And it's just the society expectations I immediately guard, whether it's good intentions or bad, you know. Um, like I remember when one of the few times that my father came to my life, right? And um he was supposed to buy me a car, and I was like, Oh, look, I found this car, blah, blah, blah. And his immediate response was like, No, you need a family car because you have your mom and your grandma. So you need a reliable car that can be comfortable enough for you to fit your grandmother. She's very elderly for your mom, you know, and things that my mom never put on your mention to me, you know. My mom, she was everywhere, girl. Like she was in Chaparral, like wearing shoes size eight when she's actually at five, painting houses, digging holes, anything in order for me to do what I had to do and be where I wanted to be. And then so does they're my ride or die, you know. So he comes here trying to say that. Then years later, which I laugh now, um, when I told him the news that I was pregnant with Jojo, you know, and um he was very like, oh, concerned, you know, like, well, is this is this guy like interested, you know, are you guys gonna be together? I was like, Yeah, like we're in a relationship, like it's happening. He's like, Well, if not, then I mean we're pregnant together. So now I'm like, okay, dude, imagine if I had to like know he's actually not in the relationship. Yeah, I mean, without both of them, you know, like what the hell? Yeah, which is it's hilarious, but then I compare it to yeah, the same expectations, you know, it's like you're not looking at Jojo to go buy a car when he turns 16 that he can get you and your mom around in because that's his role. For me, it's like, dude, you're gonna start uh learning how to drive at 15, yeah, just so you can at least help me to go buy milk with a drink and run, you know. Yeah, and even then it's like he's like, No, I don't want to drive. I was like, we'll talk into yours. Let's see if you still feel like exactly. He will, he will.

SPEAKER_01 26:39

It's just like but talk about the epitome of the opposite viewpoint. Yeah. Like your job was in your own mom's eyes, yeah, had nothing to do with taking care of she and your grandma. Exactly. Your job was building and growing and becoming something that you were happy about, and then your father, who wasn't involved in the picture basically at all, shows up and his whole idea is how you're gonna your role is to take care of your mom and your grandma.

SPEAKER_00 27:07

Exactly. You know, and that's what it can be life-changing to people.

SPEAKER_01 27:11

It is because then you own that, and you mentioned earlier that's the other piece in all of these different roles, you lost you.

SPEAKER_00 27:18

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 27:19

And so that's the other piece, is now it's figuring out who you are again. Oh, and totally what do I like to do outside of a relationship, and where do I want to spend my time? And we talked really before we went live about how what's important at one point in your life and what you think I mean, if you had told me 10 years ago that I would build this amazing career and then get fired, I mean, I would have been, I would have been mortified. And what's funny is when it happened, yeah, I mean, it w it was horrific and it was sad and embarrassing and whatever. And then I realized this is the best thing that ever fucking happened to me. Like now I can build something I want to build that's gonna help support other women, that's gonna help other people navigating some of this shit, um, and can make maybe a difference in the world. And I think with you, very similar in that from a work perspective, you know, you work your whole life thinking I'm I'm growing, I'm climbing the chain, I'm or climbing the ladder, pardon me, I'm moving up, and and you killed yourself there. And now who gives a rat's patootie what your job title is, what an and the people that we talked about that too, the people that do care enough that that changes how they see you, they're not your fucking people.

SPEAKER_00 28:45

Oh no, and and I think see the difference is in your story and your journey, it hurt. Yeah, for me when I did it was more of a I'm I'm numb, yeah, you know, right now I'm like I've lost everything. So what what is this? Yeah, as long as I don't lose electricity in the house, we're okay. You know, it's kind of like my sense of that ripping the band-aid off, it's in a numbing position, you know, and and that's why I try to like just go with the flow, which I'm learning and I'm getting on it because I've always been an overthinker. But same, like you know, and I'm like, here's the plan, and if that doesn't work, then here's the plan.

SPEAKER_01 29:32

And if that doesn't work, then here's the plan.

SPEAKER_00 29:34

And now I'm like, okay, like hey, if it comes to like do this, do that, my mom writes me pretty good enough to know that we'll make it happen. Find a way you know, so um part of me is relief that I'm feeling that kind of numbness because I was at the time of my career where I was like, this is proving me once again my passion for higher ed for students for the community. And I you know that everybody said, like, well, you know everybody, and I was like, Well, yeah, but you really do. I love knowing people, I love giving back, embracing them, and connecting them with others, and that's my but that's a gift, and that's a gift that you have.

SPEAKER_01 30:13

And what's funny is there's there's and I teased you about this the other day. You have what I can, and I'm probably gonna piss some people off by saying this, but whatever. To me, it there's influencers, right? And so they're always with the right people and they're posting the right pictures and everything's super perfect, and you know, whatever. And then there's people, and this is where I see you, that have a gift of connection and connecting people, and you have a gift of going, oh, you should know so and so because you're doing this and they're really good at such and such, or you know, you get calls all the time. Yeah. Hey, do you know anybody that this or hey, my kid's looking for this, or hey, my mom needs that. Yeah, and you always know, but it comes from a genuine place of wanting to connect the right person with the right person. And I think that's the difference. You have influencers that just want the views and want the, you know, it's it's it's bullshit, basically, it's fake. And then there's people that do it well because they do it for the right reasons, and so that's I think the difference with you. Um, and I see you all the time, you're always supporting other local businesses, especially feminine, female-owned businesses. Um, and you you've done that as long as I've known you. Yes, absolutely. Um, and I think, you know, okay, so we talked about incredible loss. Um, thank you for sharing that. Thank you talking to me about it. I like um and we talked about kind of the impact of that on the family and and your choice to pick yourself and your kids um over a career and figuring out and that that takes that takes grit too, honey. Because when you work so hard to build something to then hand the keys to the kingdom over to somebody else doesn't come easily. So again, hate to tell you you're strong, don't hit me, but it it takes that. Yeah, that's the grit. And so now, and you've shared the gratitude part, right? Um, being grateful for the people that have reached out, oh yeah, being grateful for the people that you do know that can help support in different ways. Um, but I want to talk a little bit now about what you're launching and what you're building, because this to me, this has you written all over it. Um and I I can't wait to see it explode. But talk to me a little bit about what you're doing now.

SPEAKER_00 32:36

So after all this mental breakdowns and everything, there'll be more, yeah, but it's fine. You know, um, I've always tried doing event planning, always. Yeah. Obviously, at some point it was like weddings. Now I'm just like, uh, I'm never gonna, I don't want to.

SPEAKER_01 32:51

So you know I'll make you laugh. Um, you know, I'm involved and try to volunteer when I can with Center of Pope. And so Nicole had told me, Hey, I need your help volunteering for an event, such and such a weekend. I'm like, okay, sure. And I said, what time? She goes, I'll take anything. And I said, Well, how long's the event? So I put it in my calendar. Well, I show up, it's the freaking bridal expo. She didn't tell me, she didn't say one damn word. I had no idea what it was. And so I told her, I said, if I volunteer for this crap again, I said, next year, I said, I'll do it. I'll always be here. But I said, next year, I'm gonna have one of those big billboard signs behind me that says, Don't do it. And I said, or you can allow me to work the kinsey aside. It's up to you. There you go. But I'm right there with you on the wedding.

SPEAKER_00 33:35

And that's nothing on it. It I I think my dream has been like any other girly, it's kind of like this is like sex in the city in the background. Sure. Oh my god, you know. But I because of my moments of realization with the grief process and everything is that yes, like I need to give value to myself of like I do know everybody, I do love making events and running the logistics. And that was something that working at Texas Tech was pushed to me more, which I'm grateful for, to acknowledge that I'm I'm good at logistics, I'm good at planning, I'm doing good at making connections, I'm running that and everything. And that's where I came with the idea of creating Sheeplans Co. Yeah, you know, and and ideally is like, okay, so if I want to have events, my head is all over the place and I know everybody, why not do it from my perspective, you know? And and chatting with another good friend that I I had the opportunity to do it through that I met through El Paso mom, which is how I connected you with that area. Um Well, and you're on yeah, I'll stop you there. You're on the board now. Well, for El Paso mom, I'm they're uh their senior contributor, and I'm doing community connections. So we do that. And I joined the mom some board board. Awesome.

SPEAKER_01 34:57

Yes, okay, okay. So that's so we'll talk a little bit because um El Paso Moms is the one that you said, hey, would you want to do this takeover Tuesday? And I mean, me being me, and I tell you, if it's something in a boardroom, I know it. If it's healthcare, I know it. If it's anything in the influencer world, I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah. And so you mentioned it, and of course, I I called Fernanda and team and they were like, oh yeah, let's do that. Um, but I had so much fun doing it, first of all, because I had never done a like kind of day in your life of where I just posted different things all day long. I had the best time with it. I met some really cool people through it. Um, and then they did like a Christmas giveaway or whatever, and I did a signed copy of the book. Yes. Um, and seeing all of the engagement on those and watching it grow, I'm like, it that is a movement in and of itself.

SPEAKER_00 35:49

And it's I believe we're going for five years, and I love El Paso Mom. I mean, and it was one of the things that I did back when it started us too. Well, let me write, let me let me try how good I can be in writing and sharing my journey and being real. You know, I like to keep it real, and that's the whole reason when they say, like, okay, I'm an influencer, what's my content? I cannot tell you what my content is because it's everything, it's just life, yes, and with El Paso mom, we needed that because I think the team here is annoyed because that probably sounds a little bit like me. Anyway, we we need that connection as far as what we're going through, how we're basing it. And when I told them about you to take over, I was like, it's perfect because you know, we're having all these people, interior designers, and we haven't this, and we're having this mom stay at home or working, you know, and that's what they want to see because it becomes inspiring. It does, you know, and you make amazing connections, and I cannot tell you how many people I've met through there. Yeah, that we have made great relationships, and Jessica, she's the owner of a boutique on Solana, was one of them. Yeah, and she's one of the ones along with Chelsea that kind of gave me that push of like, yeah, you should do this for a living. I mean, if you're if you just it's your passion, if you know this and obviously we're collaborating, and I can see that it's definitely your strength, like just go for it. You know, and and that's how the concept of she plants co came up, you know, because the especially Jez, she's like, Oh my god, friend, yes, like we have so many things already doing the day-to-day as far as business owners and schedules and issues and bills and you know, getting everything. Everything else is operating now. She's like, and we're trying to make an event still happen to drag more people and everything, and it's added pressure. So why not? So I was like, Okay, yeah, why not? Let's do this.

SPEAKER_01 37:44

Yeah, you know, and then but even that the way that you're doing that. So there's event planners that do what you know, and and that's part of what you'll do. Yeah, but the way that you're approaching it with, you know, hey, let's collaborate. Like I have these people, you know, this person's gonna speak, this person's gonna have music, this person, we're gonna have vendors, you know, all of these different things. And to me, it's just elevating again, it's doing what you do, it's elevating the people that you know, um, shining a light on their business or their service or whatever it is that they're doing. And so while you're planning these events and you're putting them on, you're also raising everybody with you.

SPEAKER_00 38:23

Yes, and that goes back because I want to keep giving back to a community, you know, I want to keep proving and showing, reflecting that. So that's even that's why the launching event that I'm kind of saying it as launching for the she plants is woman rising. I want to do it in March, it's woman international day on the 8th, but I want to do it on the 22nd. Why? Because I want to make sure that we can all collaborate and it's not only opening it to the community, reflecting, pushing that woman empowerment, but at the end of the day, having an extra pay it forward to the community, which is collecting donations that we can give to families in the city. So it's kind of like my brain with a thousand like little taps open and ideas and interest forward coming to life, and and that's what I want, you know. And and that's how I came on as far as like if hey, like if I can get paid and you can get paid for providing this service, why not?

SPEAKER_01 39:25

Absolutely, yeah, absolutely. Well, and I think that's the difference when we look at, and that's why I was talking earlier about what does success look like, right? Yeah, and how we're taught a certain thing, and so it's you know, it's money and titles and status. That's success. And then for whatever reason, paths change, something happens, you know. Some people they get a terminal illness or there's a terminal illness scare. Yeah. Um, you know, something there's a life shift. And I think when that happens, it's it's heartbreaking and it's terrible in the moment. And it takes every ounce of grit you've got to not just sit in the mud and and forget about living. But it's such an opportunity because I think on the other side of that is where you realize what matters and what really fucking doesn't. And I think you finding your passion, and I I talk a lot about you know, my purpose and and feeling like I thought this was my path and this was my purpose, and now I'm like, oh no, this is what I'm here to do. And I think, you know, through what you've already accomplished in this life, I can't imagine this going anywhere but up. But the fact that you're you're focused on how do I use this to give back? How do I use this? And I laugh when you talk about, you know, people might think I'm crazy. And to me, if people aren't crazy, I don't want to fucking know them anyway. But I will say I identify with that. And I laugh all the time. I mean, people, I'm sure I'm an MBA nurse that operated hospitals and was in healthcare leadership. And so now it's like here I am over here. I wrote a book, I'm doing a podcast, whatever. It's totally illogical. And there's plenty of people, I'm sure, that are like, oh, I guess she finally fucking lost her mind. But I think for me, no, I found me. And I realized what's important to me and what's not, and the fact that because of life experience, yeah, just like you, you have something different now to contribute and a different way to give back.

SPEAKER_00 41:37

Yes, and you know, and it's because right now for me, success is dropping off the kids on time. Yeah, just this morning I was like, damn, I need to pick ass. And that totally threw off. So I was successful, make it on time to drop off my daughter so she could get breakfast, you know? Yeah, and and things that at the past it wasn't, and even going back to some chats that we had that is like, yes, we were successful and we were always there for backup, yeah. And we were there while they were doing homework or anything, but we were not. But we weren't there. We were on our computers, we were on our phones, we were hold on, let me answer this call, this text, you know, and and now success is for me to see that my three-year-old is like, oh mom, I'm gonna miss you. When you come back, we'll go in the bike. Yes, that's success. So that's my goal, you know, or getting her ready because she wanted to wear the hairstyle of one of the demon hunter movie things, you know? Yeah. So and you were there and present and able to do that. Because it's it's kind of shifts the perspective, but also shifts who I am and how happy I am, you know, and kind of building things and struggle that validates what we have. Yeah. And and even as a rebellious way of like yes, I may not be a doctor in five years like I was hoping for, but I'll I'll make try and go for it in ten. Yeah. You know, because that doesn't mean that there's like a last time or a bad time to do what you want, or that you can still make a difference because you don't have a title or anything, because you are making a difference. And that has been one of my biggest learnings in not only just myself with what we're going through, but with people like you and a lot of the the people that I call you guys my tribe, because you guys filled my spirit, you know. Yesterday I was strained, like I don't know what was with the moon, but like we were just mood with you know, every day. We were tired from feeding 90 people at Western Hills and going to a evening, but you know, having that time with my friends from from from there at Utab while we were planning this event, volunteering and everything, and seeing their mentorship and their guidance. And, you know, this morning, like just rushing, but knowing that I was gonna have some time. Time with you and everything is like that connection that sense, like, okay, they're my my booster energy, yeah. So I can go up and keep going at it. And if I have to cry in the car because the song came out and reminded me of say, I will, you know. But in the way I'm not gonna stop, and it's gonna give me that force that when I get home, if I break down, I don't have to hide it from the children, and they also see and acknowledge that it's okay to cry to miss daddy, but that we're also okay to laugh and dance in the car, you know, and everything, because that's who he was, yeah, and that's what he loved doing. So it's kind of like I tell you, like, I'm crazy, you know. But it's helping me do that, like you said, like screw what people say. Like, I know they're so watching, so yeah, let them watch. I cannot stop them, they're welcome to do it. As long as you don't mess with my kids, as long as you don't mess with my yeah, with the strength that I'm trying to build on my own for them, like you're welcome to keep watching as long as you're you know, like and I that's one of my biggest things is yeah, let them watch.

SPEAKER_01 45:08

Yeah, because in the end, you're you're living your life, you're living your life on your own terms, you're deciding what's important to you and what isn't. Yeah, and you're finding those moments of joy. Yeah. And I think when we go through something, it's that's the first step. It's and sometimes you have to be intentional about it. Yes, but it's finding those moments of joy again that begin to really shift things. And I think, like I said, I can't wait. Let me know how I can help with the thing in March. Oh, you're already booked. Oh, by the way. By the way. But I I love that sort of thing because again, it's I'd love to be a part of that. And anything that you're working to build, you can count me in.

SPEAKER_00 45:52

Thank you. No, yes, that's that's the goal, you know. And ultimately, it's just Ali 2.0, kind of like pushing Anna 2.0 to get that way. That's that's ultimately as far as like things have to get better, you know. And it's like I kept giving now, like I I will always continue giving, but I want to make sure that I give to myself also so that way you gotta be on your own priority list. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:20

All right. So last question. Yes. I asked this question to guests when they come on. Okay. Um, because I wanted something that was kind of thematic because I love seeing the different perspectives. And so what I ask is a version of give me, tell me about like one belief or one idea that you held that you've either had to change your mind about or let go entirely to be on a 2.0, to be where you are right now.

SPEAKER_00 46:47

You know what? I think, and I have it on my phone, because that's actually my version to like I saw it and now I actually want to live by it, and I live by it. And this in the world of princess, be a chingona. And you know, I love it. That's that's my that's my thing. Like, I'll stick to that, I'll be a chingona. Like, I can still be a nice person, but I can be nicer and just so I can be who I am now. Yeah, so yeah, that's not faking it. Nope. I'm fully embracing the chingona life. I love it. I love it.

SPEAKER_01 47:26

Yeah, Ana, thank you for coming on. Thank you so much. I appreciate it very much. Thanks. Can't wait to see what you build, and I'll definitely be at the event in March then. Yay! All right, very good. All right, well, thank you everybody for joining today. I hope you get some nuggets out of our conversation, and I'll see you in a week.