10 Things From Two Dudes on One Cruise | 104

What happens when you put 88 financially intentional people on a cruise ship headed to Alaska? Apparently, a lot of really good conversations, a few late nights, and at least one episode of the Extreme Personal Finance Show recorded on the fly with a phone crammed between two guys.

This week, Chris is joined by returning guest Kevin Sebesta, recorded live aboard the FinTalks Cruise somewhere off the coast of the North Pacific. No script. No studio. Just two dudes unpacking what they learned from days of deep conversations with some of the most intentional people in the FI community.

If you've ever wondered whether events like this are worth it, this episode will answer that question pretty quickly.

What is FinTalks? FinTalks is a paid membership community started by Amberly Grant, built around a weekly Tuesday night discussion group where financially intentional people connect, share, and grow together. No random strangers offering stock tips. Just smart, thoughtful people willing to invest in their own growth and the growth of others. 

Here's what Chris and Kevin talk about in this one:

Living Your 50s While You Still Can One of the most powerful reminders from the trip came through conversations about using your healthiest years intentionally. Inspired by the book Die With Zero and its concept of "time buckets," Chris reflects on why the activities that require physical strength and energy need to happen now, not someday. Kevin drives it home: once there's a five at the front of your age, you're not youngish anymore.

Health is the Real Currency Multiple conversations on the cruise circled back to health. Members were skipping elevators, logging stair climbs from deck one to deck 14 or 15, and tracking fitness goals alongside financial ones. One community member named Keith was reportedly racking up a hundred flights of stairs a day. REM sleep, joint health, staying strong enough to do the things you want to do at 60 and beyond. Health kept coming up because the community gets it.

The Price You Pay Is Not the Experience You Get Kevin makes a sharp observation here: people in inside cabins with no windows had the same level of enjoyment as people in premium suites with balconies. Because most of the experience happens outside the room, in conversations, at events, on excursions. You don't have to spend a premium to get full value from an experience.

The Year of Experiments Chris met a 31-year-old at dinner who had intentionally declared a "year of experiments," committing to try things he normally wouldn't so he could arrive at 70 without regret. That conversation hit hard. It connects directly to why Chris retired early: he wanted into life, not just out of work.

The One Sheet Dashboard A community member named Wally gave a presentation on his single-page life tracking system, covering finances, health habits, relationship goals, even the number of game nights with his partner each year. Whether or not a granular tracking system fits your personality, the concept of having visibility into your whole life, not just your money, sparked something for Chris. Kevin, a self-described slacker on spreadsheets, still took value from seeing how a different personality type uses structure to stay aligned.

He Time, She Time, We Time A nod to Fritz Gilbert of The Retirement Manifesto, this framework came up in discussions about life design for couples. Shared goals matter, but so do individual pursuits. Not everything needs to be a joint project.

Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone Chris admitted that even at an event full of community members, walking up to someone he had never met and introducing himself is still uncomfortable. He did it anyway. Kevin shares that despite appearing effortlessly social, he is genuinely an introvert who becomes something close to an extrovert only around this community. The concept of being an ambivert, someone whose social energy shifts based on environment, came up and it turns out it might be a real thing.

The Phases of the FI Journey Kevin breaks this down clearly: there are people on this cruise who retired 10 years ago, people who retired last year, people who are one or two years from leaving, and people who are five to ten years out still building their foundation. Every phase has different challenges, different questions, and different energy. The beauty of being in a diverse community is that someone at every stage of the journey is in the room.

Community Over Everything The Harvard Health Study's long-running research found that community, not finances or status, is one of the strongest predictors of wellbeing. Kevin references this and points to something deeper: he knows at least 20 people in this community he could call for real help, people who would show up. He shares a story about community members dropping everything to drive to a car accident on the highway to help a fellow FI friend. That is not a Facebook group. That is family.

The Contrast: FinTalks Cruise vs. Monsters of Rock Cruise These two dudes have been on both. The Monsters of Rock Cruise had a built-in conversation starter everywhere you went. This cruise, surrounded by 3,900 non-FinTalks passengers, felt completely different. Outside of their group, Chris spoke to maybe two people in five days. Kevin counted three conversations, one of which was about a ham wrap. The lesson: shared community creates connection. Without it, you can be on a ship with thousands of people and feel completely alone.

This Episode Also Includes:

• The word "Destinesia" (and what it means)
• A secondhand Chris Holmes mashed potato story
• Kevin's crosswalk philosophy
• Why Kevin does not care what you think of him, and why that might actually be a superpower
• Debate over what a rosary is! 

Contact Chris:

https://heavymetal.money

https://www.facebook.com/MoneyHeavyMetal

https://x.com/MoneyHeavyMetal

https://www.instagram.com/chrisluger

https://www.tiktok.com/@heavymetalmoney

email: chris at heavymetal.money

Resources and Links:

FinTalks Tuesdays

https://www.amberlygrant.com/fintalks

Connect with Amberly Grant

https://www.linkedin.com/in/amberlygrant/
 
Die With Zero: Getting All You Can from Your Money and Your Life

by Bill Perkins 

https://a.co/d/09vOyNYJ

https://campfi.org

Your Money or Your Life: 9 Steps to Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Achieving Financial Independence

by Vicki Robin,, Joe Dominguez, Mr. Money Mustache

https://a.co/d/0hA5QO98

Retirement Manifesto (Fritz Gilbert): https://theretirementmanifesto.com

The Importance of Community | Finding your Tribe and Sense of Belonging | E50
 https://youtu.be/-Houhdoimag

The importance of connections - Harvard School of Public Health Study

https://hsph.harvard.edu/news/the-importance-of-connections-ways-to-live-a-longer-healthier-life/

Sniglets

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sniglet

Contact Chris:
https://heavymetal.money

https://www.instagram.com/heavy_metal_money/

https://www.youtube.com/@heavymetalmoney

https://www.facebook.com/chrisluger

email: chris at heavymetal.money

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Um 10 things from two dudes on one cruise this week on the Extreme Personal Finance Show.

SPEAKER_00 0:12

All right. Welcome everyone to this episode of the Extreme Personal Finance Show. We are unhinged. Unhinged. We're at the perfect timing. We are somewhere. Do you know where we are actually?

SPEAKER_01 0:26

It's just water water, water everywhere. I think we're off the coast of Canada in the North Pacific, if that's an ocean.

SPEAKER_02 0:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:35

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We did Alaska stops with 88 of us financial nerds. And life is awesome.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

Yeah, we're on what's called the FinTalks cruise. Um, really quick, like what is Fin FinTalks?

SPEAKER_01 0:54

Um, so FinTalks is a paid membership group, small fee, started by one of our community members as a safe space to have discussions every Tuesday night for an hour about financial topics with each other. Or they Amberly, who leads this, brings in a group of people, or their special guest speakers. Um it's really like a select group of people willing to pay a small sum of money to be around other um very intelligent, intentional people. So it's like a premium. It's not like Facebook where the guy from McDonald's can join in and give you financial advice. You know, the whole Rockefeller shoe shine tips thing. That's right, yes. Like my Uber driver was telling us about investments on the way here, which means maybe, maybe as of May 20th, we don't of 2026, that possibly things are very high if the Uber driver has tips.

SPEAKER_00 1:57

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

Possibly.

SPEAKER_00 1:59

I mean they are high, but that's right, that's right. Um, yeah, so she uh Oh, this is for real, right? This is for real. So uh Amberly Grant, who who uh organized FinTalks, she also plans and organizes trips. Um, this is her third FinTalks cruise, and she I think she also is gonna be doing Fourth Cruise. Oh, Fourth Cruise.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

First Alaska guy were three Caribbeans or three Southbounds.

SPEAKER_00 2:24

Fourth cruise. This is my very first FinTalks cruise. So what we thought it would be really fun. Have you been on a cruise? I've been on I've been on cruises, but they're not real cruises.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

Have you been on cruise with me before? I have. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:39

We were on the Monsters of Rock cruise, which is perfect for this show. Yeah, very different vibe.

SPEAKER_01 2:44

That's right. They were playing Black Sabbath in the main dining room on that cruise, and in this one, they were playing a piano.

SPEAKER_00 2:50

They were, yes. Ding, ding. They were they were tuning in the piano.

SPEAKER_01 2:55

So we're here with 88 people. We're on maybe day five. We uh we don't keep track because we don't exactly do days of that stuff. And we've had hundreds hundreds of discussions with people, 10 minutes, um, two hours even. And so uh we needed to record something. We, like we. Yeah, we you need you it'd be nice if you presented some information.

SPEAKER_00 3:19

That's right. I wanted to get something that was relevant, timely, and this will be dropping uh tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01 3:25

Why is your phone on my ass right here?

SPEAKER_00 3:27

What is this anymore? This is the microphone. Oh. This is so it sounds good. This is that's not where it's at.

SPEAKER_01 3:35

Oh, if this is audio, if this is audio only, he's holding the phone between us. Um so it's I'm sorry. Anyway, Kevin, why do you come on these these trips? 100% because the people that I'm with on the trips make my life at that time and in the future better. It's my wife said, Why are you going on a cruise to Alaska again? We did that three years ago, and I said, I'm not, I'm going on a cruise with 88 of us. It just happens to be stopping in Alaska.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

I love that. That's such a great reframe of what you're doing here. That's awesome. And and yeah, that's I mean, I came, this is my very first one, and again, it's to meet others in the community, and then there's definitely friends that I've known before.

SPEAKER_01 4:21

So um and and so I call the five people that in this, they're like friends to people, but I think a lot of us are closer, so I call them my five family, and they're like cousins, and this is like a family reunion. We don't have the family reunion shirts, but economy, other conferences in campfies, in Bali and Women of Fi. Did I hit them all? Many of the main ones? Those are communities that get together and you become like family where you trust and share and help each other. We have a time.

SPEAKER_00 4:51

No, we're good. So here's the what we're gonna do. We're gonna talk about each of us have like five things that that we want to talk about, kind of what I guess what I've learned or what I've gained from being on this amazing trip with so many amazing people. And one of the first things, it was something that you mentioned to me. We're talking about um uh basically, you know, we were reviewing our life where we're at now, and you know, planning our future, and something you said to me that really hit home is to live my 50s and do the things now where while I'm healthy enough to do them. And that reminded me back to when I read the book Die With Zero. Um, those of you may know that book, where you kind of set up these time buckets as to well, how healthy you are, are you active? And these are those years where I want to be able to do these things. Um, because some of the other things that aren't as I don't know, uh challenging, challenging, vigorous, like those things can be done in my 60s or 70s.

SPEAKER_01 5:52

So to be fair, yeah. I tell the younger people, don't let your 40s go away. Oh, but I can't tell you that. That's right. Because in and I say that, if you still have a four in your age, you can pretend like you're youngish, kind of be youngish, but with a five at the front, you're screwed. I mean, you're not young. There's nothing when you're half a century old that means young.

SPEAKER_00 6:13

Oh, dude. Even though we have a century, you may that makes me feel old.

SPEAKER_01 6:17

I don't know where that came from. Half a century old. What's your edit word? Oh, I I what's your safe word? Um, we're roommates, and that's not the couch.

SPEAKER_00 6:34

So, I mean, that's one of my big things I took away was really to uh to really focus more on getting those things done in my 50s. What's what's one of yours, what's one of the first things that you want, like your takeaway from the script?

SPEAKER_01 6:46

Well, on that on that theme was health. A lot of people uh we have uh three chat tools to keep track of what's going on, which is mentally challenging when you're over half a century old to find out which one is happening. And so health is a big one. People are hiking, people are going to the gym, um, people are complaining about going to eat at the dining room, yet they're still there. And so health is a big one, and sleep was one we talked about. Oh, yeah, refresh your body, clean your mind. You talked about REM sleep flushes the stuff out. Yep. Um, and so the tip that I took away is that some of the couples here have two blankets in their bed, so they each have their own blanket, so they have a comfortable blanket system. Some have a thick blanket, some have a thin blanket. And I thought that was a fantastic random ass tip that I got from an intentional community. Yeah, that's interesting. But I tied it back to something useful.

SPEAKER_00 7:43

Yeah, I'm curious. Those of you listening or watching, go ahead and leave a comment. Do you, if you're a couple or you have a partner, you can't ask what they do in bed. No, what are you talking about? Do you have your own blanket or do you share share the covers? Exactly. Perv. Um that's a good point. So that leads me to one of mine again is health. Health is so important, and I know I need to focus more on health, especially because there are people like oh my god, there are people on this cruise that are um just they are like Keith. Keith is on the cruise and he's doing Keith Nugent the luckiest manifly.

SPEAKER_01 8:26

Oh man. But he's got Kevin Bacon a fi, too. Because he knows everybody. Oh, yeah. Okay, so Keith, what is he, what the hell is he doing? Right now, what's he doing right now? What do you think?

SPEAKER_00 8:36

Probably going upstairs. Upstairs. He is getting a hundred flights of stairs a day. I mean, it's just amazing. I mean, I go up, I'm doing a lot of flights, and it's like your legs start to feel it. And what I really took away from that is I want to make sure that I'm strong enough and healthy enough so that when I am 60, I can still do those things.

SPEAKER_01 8:58

And a big part of this five community that's here is most of us have a no-elevator rule. Like most of us have not seen the inside of the elevator, and we're going from floor two. I did, I did. I know. You had an emergency, but you got sick of the waiting, you got out.

SPEAKER_00 9:12

Uh yeah, and yeah, at the end of the day, my legs were killing me, and I'm like, I did, I tried, but there's too many people and you wait too long.

SPEAKER_01 9:19

So yeah, so I mean, so health all the way from elevators, stairs. The today's specific challenge is from deck one, if you can find it, but the staff up to deck 14 or 15. How who's who how many times has anybody done that and you log it in the spreadsheet from one to the from the very bottom to the very top? I just do in the middle, but that's health. Let's let's get cracking.

SPEAKER_00 9:47

Yeah, I know. Next one. What's your what what's your second one? You go you a second. That was my second one. Health. What was your I mean I have it at number four.

SPEAKER_01 9:53

Oh, now I'm reading his. We don't know that. Um I'm gonna go with this one. I have been so professional I did this. Those people seem to have the exact same enjoyment level as people that are in the upper decks, premium decks, with balconies or even owner suite. So you don't have to spend a extra super premium in an experience to get a similar level of enjoyment as someone who's spending more consciously on a lower amount. I like that one.

SPEAKER_00 10:40

Yeah, because I mean a lot of the Do you like that one? I do, because I think a lot of the the Thank you. Yeah, because a lot of the enjoyment or fulfillment comes from stuff out of the room anyway. You're hanging out with people, you're going to the events, you're going to the talks, you're going on excursions when you're at shore, you're doing all the other things.

SPEAKER_01 10:59

Yeah. We're hanging out in the main dining room between meals because you can play games there. Oh, yeah. Not board card games. Card games, card games, yeah. Yeah. So um the price you pay may not determine the enjoyment you get from an event or an activity.

SPEAKER_00 11:17

Yep. I think that's that how that's pretty proud of that. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Okay. Um, I think uh another one is that when I was talking to someone over dinner the other day, um, a relatively young guy, a new guy I just met, just met this year. He was like 31 years old, and he said this year was his year of experiments. He was gonna do all these things that he normally wouldn't do, and he's gonna see how he feels because he wants to be able to get to 70 and not regret not trying something. And that really hit me because it's like I don't want to get to 70 or 80 and regret that I didn't try this thing, or I think that's the biggest thing that I I want to just I guess take chances, right? I'm gonna try to do those things that um, you know, I want to focus more on music, I want to do those things that I don't want to get to my deathbed and say I never did that thing.

SPEAKER_01 12:14

Why did you retire early? I mean, did you want out of work or did you want into life?

SPEAKER_00 12:19

I wanted into life, yeah, because there were so many things I wanted to do. I want to do music and nonprofit and you know, develop apps and do all these things, and that's what I wanted. I want to make sure I don't regret trying those things.

SPEAKER_01 12:32

Longtime listeners probably know that we talked about first gear, second gear, all the way through fifth gear. Yep. And we talked about starting slow and just getting your footing into this non-work environment post-career, graduating from your career. And you tried, but you're stuck in fifth gear. Yes. Which isn't a bad thing, but your energy level has you doing so much that you could never have done this with a focus on work, never mind the time on work. So do you Well, I mean, you've we've done two cruises in a month, two totally different cruises, totally different places. You're to me, you're living that and still doing other activities, interests, passions. You know, flow state.

SPEAKER_00 13:21

You do that. I don't, I can't, I don't know why. I I try. Well, I will tell you, I mean, you go back just a couple years ago. I never thought I would have been on two cruises. You know what I mean? So I'm doing these things, taking chances, doing risks. Like basically, again, I want to not regret not going on this cruise, you know what I mean? And again, just it's so fun too. And you know, hearing all the fun that other people are having, I don't wanna, I don't know, I don't want to miss out. I guess I don't know. But it's fun, it's super cool. Um, I think uh go ahead. Yeah, yeah. Well, I was gonna say one thing that I really took away. So there is some kind of formal talk. Some content. Some content. There's some content here. And last night, um, there's a gentleman that I had met briefly at a campfire. His name is Wally. I don't really know him too well, but he did a presentation last night that was so great. This man is 70 years old, and he's awesome, he's full of vigor and energy, and he did this talk about just you know, getting this one sheet dashboard to kind of track where you're going and making sure that you're on the same page of your spouse or partner. And it was just really, really inspiring to me to track my progress or track my non-progress, you know. And so I got I got inspired to start to really break down and get a dashboard and and start. I don't know if I'm necessarily going to use a spreadsheet. I'm not really a spreadsheet kind of person.

SPEAKER_02 14:53

Maybe I'll uh lost half your I know, I know, right?

SPEAKER_00 14:56

I I lost my five card. That's so so I don't I don't like spreadsheet. But you know what I will do?

SPEAKER_01 15:01

I'll use Claude to create Is that because they came from Microsoft and not Sheet? Oh what is what is the Apple thing? Numbers. Numbers, yeah, numbers. Like I like I don't have 15 Apple devices.

SPEAKER_00 15:10

That's right, that's right. But what I mean what I will do is use Claude and create a live artifact that creates a living dashboard to keep to keep track of all of the things I want to keep track of. Not only just like money, but even like you and I were just talking this morning about making time, blocking time, going to the gym, doing the things that you need to do to be healthy. I want to start tracking all that stuff too. So that's something I really got out of this trip was was getting some sort of tracker involved.

SPEAKER_01 15:41

You're gonna start doing more. Wow, like no thought that was gonna happen. It's not it's not doing it. Show me technically where I think it's recording. Is it is it in it's in Are you sure we're doing this? It is because I've got good stuff and I don't want to mess this up. Right here. Um This is behind the scenes, me not trusting it. Yeah, it's it's recording somewhere. Yeah, copy copy. Oh, there it is, right here. See this right here. Oh look. Yeah, oh yes. There you go. All right. Okay, anyway, so back to so anyway, I have that on my list. I have the one sheet dashboard on my list because I did and see Show me your face. I mean, have you been so I I have the one sheet dashboard and I learned about it last year.

SPEAKER_02 16:26

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

And this is what I I left the session because I've heard it and it's a lot, and I'm a slacker. But having said that, so this is what I said. I learned more of those who love the one sheet supermaster metal tracking status sheet. Oh, I like that. And and I'm on the slacker sheet where I just kind of go with the flow. So my point being is you can be totally different personality types on a subset of planning, tracking, achieving and still have good systems, but still see that a different way. I love spreadsheets. I should have one of those, but tracking that dashboard, which is hugely wonderful a dashboard, but for me, I just not it's not gonna fit. So when you hear people talk about motivation type speakers, uh different types of coaches, that may or may not fit your personality, your the way you challenge yourself, the way you track yourself, and that's okay. It might be hard for you to find someone that motivates you with or without those, or you might be internal. So my my takeaway from that exact session that you loved, and I thought, holy shit, that's a lot of stuff. Right.

SPEAKER_00 17:56

It is a lot of stuff. Is yeah, it is how many drink, how many alcoholic drinks he consumed in a year? Like, I mean, he's tracking a lot of stuff at a granular level.

SPEAKER_01 18:06

Yeah, and so there's a system that might help you or us put some framework around something if if that works for us. So that's what I was gonna say, and it is like a super metal master sheet.

SPEAKER_00 18:21

Yeah, that's awesome. Do you think that it's important because there were things that Wally, who was doing the presentation, talking about how some things were his thing, something was his wife's thing, and sometimes they are different.

SPEAKER_01 18:34

They probably should be different in real life. If you're in a relationship, you pro you probably should have different interests that you love and that you take action on, right? If you love something but you spend all your time helping your partner's interest, you're sacrificing sections of your life. And uh what uh the retirement manifesto, Fritz Gilbert calls it he time, she time, we time. Oh, I like that. And I think that's very good. And so um yeah, so I think you could track things for your partner who maybe she doesn't, maybe Tanya doesn't want to track this. Right. Maybe she's just hanging on for dear life with Wally's energy.

SPEAKER_00 19:18

Right. I like how they track how many game nights they have with each other. That was cool. I like it. I mean they didn't always meet what the goal was, but they're trying. And I think that's cool. Oh my god, they're trying. Yeah, that's really awesome. Um I know one thing that are are we close to five? Did we already do four? I I lost track of where we're at. I think we did three. Um four I have three left. Three. I have one left. Poppycock. Okay, poppycock. So this is here. So I think one of my la my last one really that oh no, I'm sorry, the keyword is pumpernickel. Pumper nickel. That sounds like that.

SPEAKER_01 19:54

Pumper nickel is my head.

SPEAKER_00 19:56

Pumper nickel. Um I'm trying to think of a funny, I was trying to think of a funny movie that has a funny woodwork.

SPEAKER_01 20:04

There's all kinds of fine things, but I don't remember. I know, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 20:08

I'm the master of my domain. Um, I was in the pool. That's really good to know as a roommate. I was in the pool, I was in the pool. Um, so one thing that I really took away too, this is this is kind of my last one, is is it it was it is hard, and I continue to try to push myself getting out of my comfort zone. There are I knew a handful of people when I got here, but you know, there were events, there were sessions, there were, you know, um, even just like a happy hour where I would walk up to someone that I did not know, and I introduced myself. And, you know, I'm curious about them. You know, I want to learn more about who they are, what do they do, why they're here. And that's it's still hard for me, you know, getting out of my comfort zone. But I know that that is something that I need to continually improve on and get more comfortable with, because you know, meeting people and talking to people, I mean, it's relatively easy for you, I think.

SPEAKER_01 21:06

Well, no, it's funny you say that because my voice is going, because I must be talking all the time about myself. So I just realized that as you're talking, I'm like, you're so much better at that. We had dinner at a table of seven of us, and Chris engaged the whole table. And if you had the one thing, what's the most interesting, what's the craziest, weirdest thing you eat, and all the stuff. And I was so tired. I was like, his questions and energy to liven the table exhausted me. Um, and so I haven't been back to the main dining room because it's hard conversations for me. I'm I'm a total introvert, but when I'm around the community, I'm 95% extrovert about talking with people.

SPEAKER_00 21:46

What is that, an ambivert? Like where you change based on your situation, based on your environment? Seriously crazy? What is he talking about? No, I think that's that's a real thing. Well, I'm sure it is. I'm sure you've crossed that. Based on your environment, you can be an introvert. Or extrovert.

SPEAKER_01 22:02

Yeah, I don't know, but it's just this community. In real life, I'm not. So um So you're saying being around people helped you get out of the comfort zone with the people with the take that to the next step. So you introduced yourself because you wanted to meet the new people, not the people you already knew. Oh, you're half the people here.

SPEAKER_00 22:26

Right. May half? I don't know. That's kind of maybe a third. Yeah. And that was the thing, is the people that I did not know yet, I would introduce myself and I want to know, for instance, like where they're from. Because I mean we're all from because it's interesting to me.

SPEAKER_01 22:39

What do you do? Do you ask them what do you do?

SPEAKER_00 22:41

Not really.

SPEAKER_01 22:42

Good for you.

SPEAKER_00 22:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:43

No, I this is like a therapy session.

SPEAKER_00 22:45

Yeah, I've kind of stopped. I don't really ask that question anymore. I I have asked how they spend their time.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:51

Because that's a way different question. But I think it's I don't know why. I'm fascinated on where people live.

SPEAKER_01 22:57

How we came together. Maybe that's why how we got here.

SPEAKER_00 23:00

But also where where where they're located and why. Like, do they like being there? Because of the seasons, because of the weather. Do they have family there? Do they did they move there for a job? Did they like I always find that fascinating because you're very good with people? Because me, well, I don't know. But because No, you you are. I just have such roots that I find it very difficult for someone. Like, I am like, I was born in Minnesota, I will die in Minnesota kind of thing. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 23:28

And like you don't even know where we're at right now.

SPEAKER_00 23:30

I have no clue.

SPEAKER_01 23:31

We're on the we're in the water. I have um so you said expanding your getting outside your comfort zone. Yes. One of the my things was bettering, you know, making yourself better. Bettering can still equal being content and satisfied where you are. You are always challenging yourself, you are always growing, you are on the next thing, thinking about the next thing. I'm very much I'm good where I'm at, I enjoy where I'm at, wherever I'm at. I I seem to have that superpower. Yeah, I love that. So, and I can still be happy and content while I'm bettering my situation, whereas you're happy and content growing your situation. So they're almost like opposites that still come together if you think about this, and you're intentional. Yeah. And so you going outside your comfort zone is similar to me being comfortable, but still going outside my comfort zone and talking to people.

SPEAKER_00 24:29

And what is something that really does get you out to out of your comfort zone? Like something that like it just seems like you're you're so confident in like whatever you're doing. Is there something that really I heard that a lot from people here, and I think it's I don't give a shit what people think.

SPEAKER_02 24:46

Yeah, that's fair.

SPEAKER_01 24:47

And I think like my wife will say, Well, are they upset with me or did they do something? I don't care. Because I'm not, I purposely don't want to cause people negativity, trauma, upset them, I don't take advantage of them. Um we were talking about this with people, like rules, like we if the rule makes sense, um, don't hang out the side of a bu uh a train as you're going through a tunnel. That makes sense if you don't do that. Yeah, that's good. Like that came up with all by myself, right there. If you're told um keep your arms inside the boat barrier, that's kind of stupid, right? So I won't do that. And so then we got to the crosswalk. Like there's a crosswalk.

SPEAKER_02 25:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 25:32

I'm perfectly capable of standing in the middle of the st of the block and turning my head two directions to cross the street. Versus a simple person might need the crosswalk because they trust the little green, the little white hand, little white walking man. Oh, sure. And secondly, I can, I believe at this point in life at 55, I'm intelligent enough to look both ways and see if there's a car, if there is one, to somewhat calculate the speed of impact. Sure. And I also cross the intersection quickly on a crosswalk, where people now just walk slow because it's their lane and they're impacting trouble. I get out of the street. So there's the whole thing we were talking about rules and how they impact and how we're all very independent people here. And so um, I have no idea if that answered your question, but that was these things. We have these discussions like this. Like what are you thinking? Why do you think this way? Why do you do this? Why do you follow this? Um and some of the discussions go till three in the morning. Yeah, yeah, it's crazy. On a ship, it's easy to find people.

SPEAKER_00 26:37

Oh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:38

Did you already blow through all five?

SPEAKER_00 26:39

I think I blew through all five of mine, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:41

I have one more. Yeah, go ahead. What is it? So on its cruise, as well as events like Economy, Camp Fi, Bali, Women of Fi, um and FinTalks, I learned that there's different phases, let's say it's on a financial independence journey, right? To be to have a money structure that gives you a baseline, some confidence, support in yourself, freedom, and then maybe ultimate freedom, like we have leaving our careers. Retiring early might just be leaving your careers. And so part of this journey is there's phases. And so I look at the retirement early piece, and I think there's the people that are have been retired for a year or two, that are here on the cruise. There's people that have been retired two, five, ten years. There's people that on the other side are um maybe one or two years away from leaving their career. They talk about one more year syndrome, which is good and smart to be cautious and super intentional. There's people that are two to five years away from leaving their so they're getting much, much closer. It's like the final lap versus the final corner on a track. And then there's the people that are five, eight, ten years away that are um building the structures and doing really well, but they have a longer time because maybe they have a single income earner, which is hard. They have um a partner who might not be on the journey with them. Um different debt, yeah, they're trying to figure that out. So they have a longer journey. So there's different phases of the fi journey that the people are on, which I usually ask people where are you on your fi journey? But the second point to that is not only the five phases, but there's people in age groups from their 20s, 30s, 40s, 60s, and Wally's gonna be 70 or is 70. So there's and the people in those age groups, you might have let's say 50-year-olds who are retired, and then some people in their 50s who are five years away from leaving, or you have people in their 30s who've retired a year ago, and some people in their 30s who are 10 years away. So you have these phases of people here, but different age groups in each one, which is pretty amazing to talk about it, and everybody's trying to take their time and their income and being intentional with how they use that income for their life. It's the money of your life book. You exchange your energy for some kind of compensation. I didn't really read the whole book because it was um but I did take that piece from people telling me that's right when I go to book club and I just let other people tell me what happens in the book, which I don't do.

SPEAKER_00 29:26

You just read the clip notes?

SPEAKER_01 29:27

You just that's no, I just have other other people tell me. Like Gemini or somebody will tell me what that's right. And I like it's close enough. If it's mostly close, okay, or YouTube. You can learn everything on YouTube. You can learn anything on YouTube. If you get two idiots in a in a room on a ship explaining to you what sleep-deprived idiots telling you what they learned on the ship.

SPEAKER_00 29:50

That's funny.

SPEAKER_01 29:51

Um so yeah, all in all, all in all, like it would take multiple days of thinking back to all the conversations and pieces of gems and nuggets you pulled in, right?

SPEAKER_00 30:02

There's so much. I mean, I I've been I've been inspired, I've been um I question, I I there's so many discussions, so many questions, and and so many new people and friends that I now have just met, and I can't wait to connect again, like after the cruise, right? So it's it's super cool. And so I think that's again, it brings the it always comes back to the the power of community, I think.

SPEAKER_01 30:29

And you were going to because the cruise has been so long, seven days, and you were gonna share a community episode that we did, but instead we did it live on the fly. Um we're doing it live! It is live. This is live into the into the machine. That's right. And so um the and so community so community is weird. Like if you do the the what's the Harvard Health Study, the long-running study from whatever it is, the early half early parts of the century, just a round off. They tracked people and families and stuff, and they found, I believe, the number one thing was community. Having a community that you felt cared about you and that you believed in, whatever it was in maybe in the depression, right after depression, mattered more than a financial status. And the community here, what's interesting to me is personally, I know I don't I don't have like lots of I don't have friends in my neighborhood and stuff. Like, yeah, I know people around, but the community is more than friends, they're family. And I know there's I seriously believe there's 20-something people here. I could call and say, I need help with something, can you come to see me and help me with this for a few days? And I think m many of those 20-somethings would or they could adjust their schedule. Yep. And the thought of someone flying in to help you with something seems kind of mind-boggling if you had needed that to happen. And I would do the same for them. I would be able to adjust my schedule to go for days to help someone. We know people that have had car accidents where people drove. Oh my gosh, yeah, and and drove an hour to meet them at the hospital. I'm using them words, not like I thought I'd pretty proud of myself. It's like I'm so moderate. Them, they, they and them, they and them, is that it?

SPEAKER_00 32:25

I think so, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:25

They and them, yeah. But no, yeah, it's but they would go help, they went and helped them, and then they went they went to their house for like two days to make sure they were situated, which was a couple hours away. They were driving to an event and had an accident halfway, and so and they just dropped it, left the event, and went to help. And that community, and they are here both of them, the helper and the one that had the crazy accident on the highway. It was a car accident. They're okay. Um, and so community, when it's tight like this, even it's just cousins you see every six months or every other year at an event, they would come together, and that's unbelievable. And I didn't have any idea I'd have that when I left my work in 2014.

SPEAKER_00 33:14

Right. I mean, I I have my group of friends, and a couple people from high school, I have my family, I have my cousins, I have my uncles and stuff, but none of them have the deep connections that we have. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 33:29

And I think When such a diverse, crazy group. Yeah. No, I'm sorry. I such a diverse group of very intelligent, intentional people. They're super smart, even if they're like me, that just seems like a slacker. I mean, I know what I know and I help, but I'm not saying I'm super smart, but I just look like a like.

SPEAKER_00 33:48

One of the smartest guys to know Kevin.

SPEAKER_01 33:49

No, I look like uh one of these lazy random dudes on the ship.

SPEAKER_00 33:53

I guess this is a great those of you that know Kevin and those of you that are watching on YouTube. What I thought was funny is that I sent a picture of us when we were in what city was it? Was it Juneau? Juneau, Alaska. I I sent a picture of my picture and daughter. I sent a picture to my daughter, and she sent back a picture of one of the pink troll hair. Pink troll. I was like, I get it because of his hair. Um anyway. Well, Kevin, thanks so much for hanging out.

SPEAKER_01 34:21

Um I hope yeah, thank you for doing this. I I hope that people listening find people that they can talk to, find people in this community, um, your community especially, because you have there's a bond there, uh a shared interest or an intrigue. Are they intrigued with you? And so often the people that find the content, similar content, have things in common. And my point then is if you can find a way to reach out to them, they're not gonna blow you off or be crazy. No, they're going to take that effort to have the discussion or to just say something. And reaching out is crazy scary, but now on the interweb and inside this machine, you can do that without any like real danger. Like you get the danger. People like come at you, and so that that's hard. I think people like say crazy shit to him, and you're like, Why are you all crazy? I'm sharing and trying to be nice, and it's a perspective, you don't have to attack. Right, right. And you don't deserve that. I think I I probably do. I don't give a shit. There's a difference. You care.

SPEAKER_00 35:36

I do think I do care. I should say I do care. You do care. I do think I do think that this community, you know, when people reach out, we genuine genuinely want to help people. You know what I mean? We'll not we'll we'll listen, we'll help. I mean, which community is this? Uh the the Phi community. What about your community? Absolutely. I think, well, I'm I'm partial to again, like the metal community, the Oh, totally. When you go to a concert, oh my god, when you're on that we're all together. So let's just compare cruises.

SPEAKER_01 36:08

Yeah. Okay. Um pumper nickel, pumper nickel, pumper nickel.

unknown 36:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 36:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 36:13

Wiener Schnitzel, Wiener Schnitzel, Wiener Schnitzel.

SPEAKER_01 36:15

We're over, we're over not bread. I don't know. They had two schnitzels in the and schnitzels in the schnitzels. Two cruises, two cruises. Oh, two different cruises. So two different cruises. The monsters of rock was when we just saw that last month, was a charter cruise with just like rocker people. Aging rocker people, but aging rocker people. And this has five people, 88 of us, surrounded by 3,900 other people. And so on the we can talk with all of our friends about anything, all these people we're with about anything, even if we don't know them. They're not really friends. Well, they are, but they could be these people just met. You there's probably 40 or 50 of them you don't know. And so we can have discussions on the monsters of rock cruise. You could be standing waiting for a band to play by the pool deck or in the theater, and you could turn to the people next to you, you could say, like, who's your favorite band here? How many times have you been here? You could immediately have a conversation in that community about some simple thing, where you're from, even, but you could go to the music level because they're there. Here we could do that with the five people. How many non-FinTox cruisers have you spoken to? Well, two on my fishing excursion. Okay. Not in an isolated captive zone. That's right. People on the ship. None. None. None. Okay, think through that again. I bet I've talked to three waiting in line for something about what I was pointing to at the at the snack bar. But like that was just like that. I mean, literally, three people maybe like, oh, I like this ham wrap or turkey wrap. I'm like, that's cool. Yeah. Try that thing. Yeah. Um, that was the conversation, but three people in five days already. Yeah. So the difference is the Monsters of Rock crews had a community. Maybe they were totally in a different age range, maybe they were totally in a different music genre phase. They liked the late 70s, early 80s music, or maybe they liked the late 80s, early 90s. Maybe they liked the newer band, younger bands. But you could ask them, and it could be crazy different answers. Yeah. And um so that is a community. We could you could just talk to people. We have this little one here, but we're surrounded by other people that we don't, and it's not because we're always with our community, we're walking around, we're in line with other people. You just don't. You don't and I've been on a cruise like this this exact same shit before um by myself for four days just getting cruise points, which is ridiculous. And I bet I talk to less than five people in the four days. So that's a different thing about if you're an outgoing person or introvert in a community.

SPEAKER_00 39:12

What what do what do they call that? You know, when you talk about community, you first start talking about community about maybe it's where you're from. Like if I say I'm from Minnesota, oh, the Minnesota community, or you know, even go down like I'm in Forest Lake, the Forest Lake community, you can start doing that. Or you could say, Oh, I'm you know, Catholic, part of the Catholic community. But then once you get to like interests and hobbies.

SPEAKER_01 39:37

It says I'm part of the Catholic community.

SPEAKER_00 39:38

Well, no, that's just what the that's just a way of.

SPEAKER_01 39:42

Look at our look at our what are these these are no no, what are those things that crucifix? No crucifix, that's I don't think that's right. Isn't that a bad thing? No, what's that rosemary?

SPEAKER_00 39:53

Is it rosemary or dark mary? I don't know. Hail Mary? Is that the Hail Mary on your neck? Rosemary. I don't think that's a like what was the movie where the guy's like, what's the T stand for? And it's a cross. Um, but no, I was gonna say, is like, you know, there's different types of community, but then at some point you can break down community based on interests and hobbies, and I can't remember what that's called. There's like a name of that. Jordan knows.

SPEAKER_01 40:18

Yeah, T knows.

SPEAKER_00 40:19

He knows type of community.

SPEAKER_01 40:20

Yes, absolutely. Yeah, and so I think that's like you need to post that because yes, there's the community like your church environment, your neighborhood versus your interest. Yes, affinity. Affinity, that's it. I don't know which one, but damn we're smart. Okay, um, and so yeah, I was gonna add something about community, but I think yes, that's true. Um and like you shared, you're in your comfort community, but you also go outside your comfort zone for this community. So you get you're getting the best of both. I as too much Kevin is how I introduced myself here because that's why my voice is gone. Um I don't do that as well, even though I'm super curious and super interested. And if you're listening to this and you know us or me, if I don't remember your name, I'm well, I'm not sorry because I probably know something about you that I think is more interesting because you chose to do things about you and you chose to have interest about you that I learned about, and seriously, your name was forced upon you. Right. So that's not between someone called me the wrong name. I I don't give a shit.

SPEAKER_00 41:35

Like I'm married, I answered anything or an asshole. Hey, you but you know, it's funny. Well, also, you said that you you don't want to lose your 80s rock knowledge, you know, there's only so much it's such useless shit, but you'd want to retain that.

SPEAKER_01 41:52

Well, and I so now I'm forgetting. There was a comedian talking about old age and stuff because we're on a cruise ship, of course. He's talking about he goes into another room three times a day, isn't it? Why he's there. Oh yeah. And I mean, yeah, I've done that, no big deal. But like, I'll forget like things I was trying to that I was thinking about earlier in the day or the couple days before. Um, I keep reminders on my watch, the number one thing for the app for me. And but I remember all that old stuff, and so I'm thinking, am I getting cognitive decline where I'm progressing back to I was a teenager? Like, you're like, who's that guy? And I know the drummer's name, and I'm like, why do I know that? Like, right, what good is that? Well, what good is that? Last night at 11 o'clock, I we were in the lounge with some friends, and we just I'm like, Do you know Wasp? He's like, Yeah, and like Chris Holmes, the crazy drunk guy in the middle of years, yeah. And I tell him my mashed potato story in the buffet where I I like got mashed potatoes in the buffet, and I look to my right, and Chris Holmes, like from MTV when I'm 16, standing next to me. He should be dead drinking pints of vodka in the pool. And he's like, mashed potatoes, and I'm like, Yeah, mashed potatoes, and I put them back and he takes them. I'm like, the weirdest like six-word conversation was mashed potatoes, yeah, mashed potatoes, mashed potatoes and then we walked away.

SPEAKER_00 43:06

That's my life. Yeah, it's like just you know you know that Chris Holmes actually had to cancel a bunch of his current tour stuff for health reasons.

SPEAKER_01 43:17

Yeah, I I just read that, yeah. Yeah, I saw that. And they were they like was that the one that said they weren't life threatening? I don't know. There was something uh there, and so if you like this music and if you're of a certain age, I said that's what they call if you're over 50, you're of a certain age. That's right. And the ladies are especially. They say of a certain age. I don't think men are just like, I'm old. But anyway, if you like this music and you and you haven't seen these artists, or Monsters Rock Cruise is pretty awesome. It's super easy, it's all in one ship. Show up, just go to a bunch of concerts. Yep. But you need to see these people because last year the drummer from one of the bands had a heart attack on stage. And I'm serious, and so they were like back there just. Thumping on him. And then um Jimmy Bain from Dio died on the Monster Rock Rock cruise a few years ago, so they had to have someone fill in for his set later. So like these bands they're aging, they're getting sick, they're dying. So for this podcast, it's not I mean that might be a community.

unknown 44:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:19

Outside the money community.

SPEAKER_00 44:20

Do you hey do you know what it's called when you enter a room and you forget why you went there?

SPEAKER_01 44:24

No, what do you got?

SPEAKER_00 44:25

Destinesia. Destinesia. When you walk Is that true? It's it's it's ish. It it's a sniglet. Do you know what a sniglet is?

SPEAKER_01 44:33

Now I do.

SPEAKER_00 44:34

Sniglet. There was this comedian back in the day that had a book. Well, I forgot. What was that called? Just kidding. It was called Sniglets, and it was so great because this comedian basically made a book of all made-up words that meant something. And it was awesome, and I had a bunch of them memorized. But one that I always rememberized was Destinesia. There's also a word, what's it called? There's you know when you're driving in the car and you are looking for an address and you need to turn down the radio or whatever absolutely you have to pause what you're listening to. I know. You're like, wait, you're because you're looking for an address, you gotta pause your music. There's a word for that. I can't remember what it is. I'll put it in the show notes. Anyway, yeah, old. Anyone hey, thank you everyone for following along, for uh following along wherever you get your podcasts and on YouTube. Please like and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and please share with someone. Give it back. Give back to whatever you give into those. Yeah, whatever. Not to him. No, not not to me. Um, and please leave a review on Apple Podcast. We really would appreciate it. Not about me. I don't care. Too much, Kevin. And remember, um, we will see you next time on the Extreme Personal Finance Show. See ya!