Why You Don't Feel Good In Your Body (Even When You Look Good)

If you're a nurse who struggles with body image, gym confidence, dating rejection, or constantly chasing validation - this episode of The Fit Nurse Diaries shows you where real self-worth actually comes from.

(Hint: it's not your body, the scale, or someone choosing you).

Courtney sits down with Fit Nurse Movement coach Elise to unpack women's confidence, body image, and self-worth - plus the internal work every nurse needs to actually feel good in her own skin.

This one's for any woman who's stood in front of the mirror and thought, "I’m not good enough," scrolled Instagram and felt small, or read a rejection text and immediately blamed her body.

Courtney and Elise get real about their own bodybuilding competition days, the social media comparison trap, and dating insecurity that follows so many high-achieving women - especially nurses.

Then they break down what it actually takes to step into authentic confidence.

Tune in to hear about:

🩷 Why looking fit doesn't always mean you feel confident
🩷 How comparison wrecks women's body image and self-worth
🩷 The link between confidence, fitness, dating, and relationships
🩷 Why dating rejection doesn't define your beauty or value
🩷 How childhood beliefs quietly shape adult confidence
🩷 Why internal healing is the missing piece in your fitness journey
🩷 How self-sabotage shows up in your health, body, and career as a nurse

Key Moments:

00:00:00 Intro
00:01:02 Welcome Coach Elise
00:02:23 Confident Body But Empty Inside
00:04:50 Where Comparison Starts
00:06:50 Awareness Killed My Confidence
00:09:20 Dating And Rejection
00:11:50 How The Internal Fixes The External
00:15:20 Stay In Your Own Lane
00:18:50 Three Things I Love
00:22:20 The Self-Sabotage Spiral
00:27:20 The Missing Piece
00:30:50 Need Versus Choose
00:34:20 Become Your 2.0 Self

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🩷Connect With Me🩷

https://www.instagram.com/thefitnursemovement/
https://www.instagram.com/courtneymarybb/

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🩷About The Fit Nurse Movement🩷

The Fit Nurse Diaries Podcast is brought to you by The Fit Nurse Movement - the only fitness and weight loss coaching program made specifically for nurses, by a nurse. It’s designed to help you feel strong, sexy, and energised even on your busiest shift weeks.

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🩷Join the Fit Nurse Movement today🩷


https://thefitnursemovement.com/bc-joinnow891392

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

But now looking back, that was like the best shape I'd ever been in in my entire life. But at the moment I didn't see it. What happens is it just makes you feel like not enough.

SPEAKER_00 0:09

So it's just a constant, every single day, trying to get bigger muscles to be good enough. It's like for fuck's sake, like when does that end? And it's you against you.

SPEAKER_01 0:18

It's an addiction to validation, especially after you go through the journey and you work your butt off and you're proud. And then when you get around other people, it starts fucking in your head. I was always reminded of that. It's me trying to beat me from yesterday. Like I'm gonna try to be better than I was yesterday.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

Hello, hello everyone, and welcome back to the third episode of the Fitness Diaries. And I wanted to welcome in one of our coaches actually here in the Fitness Movement, Elise.

SPEAKER_01 1:00

Hello, hello, I'm happy to be here.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

Yeah, yeah. We're so excited to have her here because we're actually gonna have a really interesting conversation about confidence as women. And I feel like this really relates back to fitness, health, everything, because this is where everything stems from. How we feel about ourselves, how it affects every single aspect of our lives as well. It's not just in fitness and our body looking good when we look in the mirror. Like it affects relationships, it affects our work, it affects how we feel in the clothes that we wear every single day. So confidence is everything. And it anchors back to being a nurse or not even a nurse, like it's just where it all stems from. So we're literally gonna cover all that because I want to be able to help you guys in this, be able to understand that these are normal feelings to not feel a hundred percent with ourselves. But I want to be able to give tools and tricks to be able to actually feel good within yourself because that's the number one thing that changes everything in life. So to start it off, maybe we want to bring it back to like maybe you even have a story or a moment in time where you didn't maybe you were confident, like as in you were lean, you were feeling good on the outside, but maybe you didn't feel that 100% on the inside. Do you have any like story or insight with that?

SPEAKER_01 2:22

Yeah, I would say probably the most prominent story is during my bodybuilding competition days. You know, you get in the you get in the best shape of your life and it's fun and you uh you enjoy the journey to get there, but by the time you get to stage or you you get to where you need to be to start the competition events and things like that, you start looking at other women and you start seeing the worst. Yes. Oh, well, my glutes aren't big as hers, or my abs don't look as defined as hers, or I'm like my legs aren't defined enough. And it's it's so many things you start to pick yourself apart, but now looking back, that was like the best shape I'd ever been in in my entire life. But at the moment, I didn't see it. And you're the people who love you and the people who support you, they see it and they're trying to tell you and bring it to your attention, but you just don't get it until five years later.

SPEAKER_00 3:16

Literally looking back. And the the cool part about that is like, because all I did competitions too, we were literally in the same like federation, everything. So I I know those feelings, but for anyone that hasn't competed, this is a norm to walk into the gym and start comparing yourself to the next person or be hanging out with friends and be looking at them and be like, oh my god, they look amazing in the photos, but I don't like that. Actually is such a normal feeling that a lot of women go through day to day, whether you're in a competition or not. Yeah. But like, what do you feel like was your main feelings? Like what actually walk us through what were the thought processes and feelings during that time?

SPEAKER_01 3:52

During that time, it's like you are wearing like clouded glasses or something, because I would think like, oh, I still have extra fat here on my stomach, even though I was probably at like eight to ten percent body fat at the time. And what happens is it just makes you feel like not enough, especially after you go through the journey and you work your butt off and you're proud. And then when you get around other people, it starts fucking with your head. I mean, you start to kind of lose control and like lose a sense of reality in a means to be able to actually acknowledge the progress that you've made. And then I feel like it just turns into it gets you in a bad mindset, negative mindset, and it just affects everything in your day. It's it's like a ripple effect, domino effect that 100%.

SPEAKER_00 4:43

Yeah, 100%. And like I went through the exact same thing because like I always grew up, and I feel like how we feel about ourselves has a lot to do with like our childhood, and like the first like six years of our life really shapes how we feel about ourselves. And if you've had maybe some trauma in the past, or just feelings of well, I'm not good enough compared to like my sister, or I'm not good enough, I'll never come first because when we're in classes, we never win, or like there's always someone that's getting like the first place, and you're coming like runner up or like third, we kind of like shape that into our adult adulthood where we actually are like, hey, I am never gonna be good enough. So then you put yourself in situations with business, friendships, competitions, and you're like, yep, I'll always be runner up, but I'll never see myself as first. But it's actually like our mind telling us that it's telling us that if my glutes aren't big enough for these competitions, then I'm not good enough. And like I remember feeling that immensely because I would rock up to the competition and be like, yeah, I'm gunning for it. Like it's gonna be amazing, feeling so confident, but then all of a sudden you're next to a lineup and you're like, that girl looks good. Oh, that girl's leaner, that girl looks more confident. Oh, this, this, this, this, this. I was always the smallest one too. You have a small frame as well. And like when you're small like that, you actually are just like, I'm not good enough unless I have bigger muscles. So it's just a constant, every single day trying to get bigger muscles to be good enough. And it's like, for fuck's sake, like, when does that end? Yeah, it screws with your head, man. It actually does. It actually does. And I think that that just happens naturally as women competing or not competing. You're like, oh, if they have this, if they have the nice relationship, if they have, you know, people that are after them, like they're better or whatever it is. But we have to like really sort that as women, and like that's a really big piece as to when I want to talk about this, is because we want to normalize those feelings. Like, we all went through it, but we want to be able to overcome that, you know. I think it's a really big piece. Yeah. So I want to know for you when because actually let's do this in the live. When was moments where you actually were like, I see the beauty in myself, not comparing myself to others, but I see just the beauty in me, who I am.

SPEAKER_01 7:02

It's really hard for me to pick like a particular moment in time. Cause it's something that even now I struggle with on and off. Like we talk about this, and you're good about kind of bringing me back too, and and it's good to have friends and your boss to bring that out in you because you know, we preach it every day to our girls and to our members, and then you turn around and you're like, God, I really need to take my own advice. But you know what's funny is I the time that I remember feeling a little bit more confident was actually when I was younger and I wasn't so aware of my body yet. Middle high school, like I wasn't even working out then, like I was not focused on my body. I was just like middle school, high school, like enjoying life. It wasn't until I got into college that it started to hit me like, oh wow, like I'm more aware of my body now. Like, oh, I should probably lose weight or I need to tone up. And I think it a part of it is society and part of it is social media. You know, we're constantly on Instagram or TikTok and you're comparing yourself to others. But that's what I think back to is I always look back and I'm like, when did it actually hit me that oh, I don't like the way this looks on me? And it wasn't until I hit college.

SPEAKER_00 8:19

So became aware.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

Yeah. It's like I wasn't aware of anything back then. I think other girls may have been, but especially me growing up, my family was I grew up Southern Baptist, and my family is very much so like we're not about looks, like this is just about who you are as a person, which really is the important thing now that I look back, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:42

Yeah, 100% girls like the awareness. I think like it started for me like super young, where I actually just constantly never felt good enough. So, like, even in school, I would look at other women and be like, oh my god, I want to be them, you know, the popular girls in school, like everyone wanted to date them, everyone wanna want to be friends with them. I was there like, I want that. So I'd start copying their hairstyle, it'd start copying all their clothes, everything. And like, you know, obviously that's annoying to the person that I'm doing that to. But I was just like, hey, if I can be more like them, then I'll be liked. And I I like this is something I literally by the end of this, I want you guys to be able to understand like that's such the wrong way to go about it. But we don't know any better when we're younger. So that that literally adapted into like my adulthood and and dating. Dating is the biggest one for confidence, I would say, for women, because we do a correlation where we are like, hey, if I didn't get the guy that I want, if I'm not desired, if someone else got them, it's like, oh well, I'm not good enough for sure. And like, have you ever gone through that?

SPEAKER_01 9:44

Yeah, yeah. Even like starting dating someone and seeing the people that are around and being like, oh, like this is who he used to date. And I'm comparing myself to them, like, oh my god, does he think that I look as pretty as her or do I need to match what she looks like? And it's wow, that stuff creeps in so quick and it's dangerous because it just it's um for me, I'm someone who fixates easily on things, so I will fixate on it, and it's like all I can think about, and that's already detrimental um in of itself. But when you're doing it for something like that, for your body image and things like that, it's just it's kind of crushing, like it really takes the energy out of you.

SPEAKER_00 10:26

Yeah, it does, it does. And like I went through that too with dating, is like, okay, well, I was thinking that, hey, if I get my body right, if I'm working hard, if I look hot, then I'm going to like get all like all these people that want to date me, all this different stuff, which is like the wrong way to go about it because that's not what dating is. Yeah, and I think a lot of women think like the rejection from guys or someone else getting them over you is like you're not good enough on the outside. Yeah, but we are literally a soul having a human experience where we're in a physical body. Your physical body is not the determinants of a relationship or being rejected or stuff like that. There's so many elements to it. Yeah, it's who you are as a person, it's compatibility, it's someone else being open to actually wanting to date. It actually has nothing. There's pieces of it. You want to be attractive to your partner, of course. But that's not like the hottest person wins. Like it is not true like that because the hottest person could actually be empty and not compatible and a bad person, yeah, and bad values and stuff like that. So it's like girls put too much um emphasis on the actual external, the physical body, then actually the internal work, which actually the internal fixes the external. It's actually the internal work that changes everything, how you feel and who you attract as well. It's not the physical, guys. Like, I think that's it's so beautiful to work on your physical body. You should because you want to feel at your best, you want to like go into the clothes you're wearing and be like, absolutely, like I'm good. It brings a different energy when you actually feel good on the external. But I am telling you, like, don't put your self-worth into hey, uh this guy doesn't want to date me, I got rejected, someone else got chosen over me, blah, blah, blah, and think that it's actually a physical thing of like I'm not beautiful enough. Like, you don't want to do that, gals.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

I am that's something that I struggle with, even though like I know that I have a lot of amazing qualities and characteristics that have nothing to do with my physical body. It's like it's still there. It's like as much as you know better, like you're like, I know this is not the way to think about it. I know that I should be focusing on my in internal issues and and working on myself and knowing that, yes, me feeling good on the outside for me does help me. But that is something that I struggle with. And I wish I didn't. And sometimes it's not even a conscious thing, it's just like happening. And then I don't realize that someone else will point it out. Someone else will say, like, I don't know a time that you are ever like happy with the way your body looked, but like you're such an amazing person, or or whatever it may be. And it's like it's kind of sad. And like I look back and I'm like, wow, I really did spend such a chunk of my life being so worried about the external and not being confident because of that when I had so many internal qualities that you know far surpassed what what the external means.

SPEAKER_00 13:26

100%, 100%. And you always hear this from like your loved ones, your friends, everything. You're like, and it's it's actually yeah, it's it's something everyone says and they're all like, Well, you're beautiful, like you, like what the hell are you talking about? Like, you could get anyone, or like blah, blah, blah. And it's like, it's not the physical, guys. Like, it's so amazing to feel good in your body and to work on yourself. That's why I have we have a fitness program. That's why it's a health and fitness program. Yeah, but there's so much depth to what we do in this program too, because it's recognizing that I would say once I started doing the internal work on myself, it actually manifests on the outside and it actually stayed. Yeah. And what what I mean by that is you get physically more fit, you get physically better looking on the external when you glow from the inside. Why? Because if the internal is actually off and you don't feel confident or you're feeling like you're not good enough, what ends up happening is you self-sabotage. Then all of a sudden you eat the extra food, which external, you gain more weight, then you feel less confident, then you feel the guilt, then you end up not showing up to the workout, then you show up to the workout and you don't feel good in your body, and you're like, I don't know why I even bother like showing up to the workout. So you see how the internal work, like when you actually feel good within yourself, you stay very stable. And these are the people that can keep their physiques all year round looking good, is because the internal work. So my biggest advice to feeling confident with yourself is doing the work external, but I would say that would be like 40% of the work. 60% is internal.

SPEAKER_01 15:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:04

And what I mean by that is like doing therapy, doing psychology, doing mindset work, understanding yourself and understanding your value as a person, who you are, and not dictating your value based on this person's opinion. If this guy rejected you, if this one turned you down, if this one chooses someone over you. It's not that. But that's our that's our brain playing into it as women. Oh, well, I'm in this situation where someone's abusing me because we've seen it in the community, which is really freaking horrible to see. But it's like abusive partners and people that aren't supportive and stuff, and we think, oh, I deserve that. But it's like, no, if you do the internal work, you won't feel like you you will be stuck in that situation. It's like we have to actually actively work on ourselves to be able to get out of that. But how do we do that? Is you literally have to step into yourself more and therapy. Yeah, yeah. It's it's recognizing, and this is like the the best way to put it that makes sense for me, is like fitness and health is always gonna be saturated because there's so many fitness people out there.

SPEAKER_01 16:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:17

So when I first started the fit nurse movement, people were like, oh my god, you can't do fitness. Like that is like a dying industry because everyone's doing it. How are you ever gonna separate yourself? It's not just that it's niche to nurses why it's separated, is because we're actually just stepping into our own lane. Yeah, we're doing our mission that feels right to us. We're not looking at anyone else to copy them. I don't want anything that anyone else has. I don't care about the competition. There's no one in competition with the mission that I have. So, what does that mean? Is that you are not a copy of a copy. You are not looking around, comparing do they have a bigger business? Do they have a this, this, this? Same with women. Do they have a bigger butt? Do they have this? No, you're just in your lane. Now, what does that mean is you can pull at the beautiful qualities that you have as a person. So I literally want you guys to be thinking about you as a person, what are the beautiful qualities that God gave you? Yeah. Because God literally gave you qualities that no one else has. Maybe you'll notice those characteristics that are similar in other people, but you got to realize you're made perfectly for the person that you're supposed to be and the characteristics that you're supposed to have. So, what does that mean? Is that when you dumb those down, you're actually not stepping into the version of you that you're meant to be here on earth because you're thinking I need to hide away who I am and not step into it. But you actually have to step into the characteristics because even you as a person, I literally every time I do an onboarding and I'm like talking to new people coming in, I'm like, pick your coach. I was like, Elisa's literally God sent, uh, and she's like the sweetest person you'll ever meet. She is so kind, she's been through a lot, and that's why she's gonna be literally there for you through thick and thin, and is like this amazing, grateful person. So that's literally you. And even on the external, you're very beautiful. So it's like that is beautiful, but when you hide away and you don't step into that, you're almost like taking away the gifts that were given to you, internal and external.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

Yeah. I like too, it kind of reminds me I did a challenge with my girls recently, and I had them name three things that they loved about themselves. Obviously, it didn't have to be external, and I got so many messages back that were just it everything was internal for everyone. And I just think that's so good that people can recognize that. And then it also forced me to do that for myself, and everything was internal for me, and it's something that I'd like to do more often because I think we're so hard on ourselves. We criticize ourselves so easily, comparing all the different things. And so if you can take a minute to focus on that and really just learn how to love yourself, and I'm not gonna sit here and tell you that I'm perfect at it because I'm not, it's a daily struggle. But I think that's what makes it relatable is that we all struggle with this to some extent. I feel like some people may come off as really confident. And then if you talk to them, they're like, I still have you know days where I feel like XYZ. And so it's everybody's going through it. We like a lot of people put on a front, and sometimes you have to to like get through life the day and to get one down or whatever it is. Yeah, but I think it's just it's been eye-opening here for me in Bali, honestly, because it's been more internal work that is happening since I started this job, really. So I think it's just made me a lot more aware. And I'm very aware when I start sabotaging myself and I call myself out. It doesn't mean that it fixes everything, but it does allow me to kind of see that and be conscious. Like, I need to not talk to myself like this, or I need to not, you know, frame it like this or compare myself to others because I'm me, I'm nobody else. And even if I did want to have someone else's body, I'm never gonna have the same body because I have my body, the body that God gave me. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:21

Yeah, 100%, girl. Like they nailed it. And that's the thing is like you we can look at people for inspiration, like use other people as the inspir, as the blueprint. Oh my god, that's cool. They built their booty by this way. Okay, I'm gonna do that. And we can use it in an empowering way that's like, hey, I'm focused on my little mission, I'm building my booty, like whatever it is. But it's not like, hey, I look at someone and then immediately trace it back to, oh, well, would my booty look that good in those sheens? No, you have to actually separate yourself from like observing. If you observe someone has a nice booty, you and this is such a common thing for women, that's what I'm saying, booty. But it's like if you observe that, then you just say they have a nice booty and you leave it at that. You leave that thought, you don't tie it back to yourself. Oh, well, mine wouldn't be that big, mine wouldn't look that good. That is the self-deprecation thoughts. You have to actually observe more instead of tying it back to yourself. When you can do that, you have less highs and lows in the day because those thoughts actually affect you in the day. Because they'll start bringing you down. Oh, well, I'm less than and why do I mother? I've been working my ass up for years and I still haven't got a booty like that. Like it just starts a cycle, and then you're a sudden you're like, oh, that food over there, I'm gonna have a donut, like to relieve that feeling of what you're going through. And this is all true things that actually happen. And you might be thinking, like, what the heck? Just on that thought alone. Yes, on that thought alone, because that thought creates a spiral which creates a connection back to the thought process of I'm not good enough. And then, well, I never will be. Why do I even bother on this plan? This is why women struggle with actually sticking to a plan in a fitness journey. It's not, is the meal plan perfect for me? Is the workout plan perfect for me? It could be. But But it's actually our thoughts that are tailored back to when we were younger. So what do we got to do now? Is we got to step into ourselves. Literally what I was saying about the blood in the water, in that everyone was telling me, don't do it, don't do it, don't do fitness. You're just gonna fade into the background. No, because this is my purpose. That's what God called me to do. So I'm following my calling. I'm not looking around anyone else. I don't need to. I'm gonna follow exactly what feels right to me authentically. I'm gonna be creative in my own way. You see the retreats that are there? It's like we're out in space day doing a live event. Like, what the fuck? We do whatever the fuck we want. Okay. And that's because we are following our own blueprint. Now, why we want to tie that back to ourselves and us as women is that follow your own blueprint in that you have those beautiful qualities for a reason. Who you are, the way your body looks, everything doesn't have to look like anyone else on Instagram, doesn't have to be a copy of a copy of a copy of the person that's popular, whatever it is. It's straight up just step more into you. When you can stop looking around and you're just like, I'm going to be fucking great within myself, that's where the power is. Because naturally, you don't want to base your opinion on yourself subjectively. Yeah. Because many people are like, oh, that person thinks I'm cool. Okay, I'm cool. That person thinks I'm hot. I'm hot. No. You are what you think you are. And anyone else that doesn't see the value, that doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_01 23:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:36

It's but then we base on that, oh, that person thinks I'm mean. So I'm mean. You can't sway like that. Yeah. You have to just step into I am great. I love myself. That is that. And that's not coming from like me being cocky because I'm actually not cocky. I'm just, I'm certain in myself. I'm healed. I've done the work. And the important piece is that you see the value. Anyone else doesn't matter. Now, if people see the value too, it's empowering. It's like, yes, that's my tribe. Wouldn't you rather at the end of your life know that you authentically were yourself and stepped into yourself, felt good in the life, in the body, everything, and had the right tribe that actually was resonating with you authentically. Yeah, of course. You'd want that. Yeah. You'd literally want that compared to, oh, I have to put this front on that I'm this like egotistical person that like thinks she's stuck up and everything like that. That's not relatable. That is not you as a person. Pretending we're we're confident 24-7 when we're actually not, we ignore the hard work. That's not great either. It's okay to put a front on for a little bit because you need to hold yourself together. But to ignore it, like sometimes I see that. The women coming in, they'll be like on the calls and they'll be like, oh yeah, well, I'm doing good. Okay, if you're doing good, why'd you hop into this ad? Why was it calling you? Oh, because like I feel confident with myself. Babe, you're lying to yourself right now.

SPEAKER_01 25:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:04

Just just be real with yourself because you don't actually change by saying something that you don't actually mean, just because you're trying to protect yourself. Like there's nothing wrong with feeling unconfident. I spent that my most of my life that way. But it's being real to know that you deserve a life where you actually feel good within your body and doing something about it.

SPEAKER_01 25:23

And it's you against you every day. You know what I mean? Comparison-wise. I was always reminded of that. Like it's me trying to beat me from yesterday. Like, I'm gonna try to be better than I was yesterday. It's not I want to be like her or I want to be Courtney or I want to have Courtney's body. It's I'm gonna work on my body and it's me against me. It's just me getting better than my past self. And I think that that's a hard one for people to swallow too, is it's just you in your own lane, focus on you, put the blinders on, and you know, and let everything else fall away. Because when you do the internal work yourself, like you said, you you see more of the value. Like for me, if I'm working my ass off in the gym and eating and I wake up and I can feel lighter. You know, we use the scale, of course, but we always say to our women, like, don't fixate on the scale because sometimes the number can it can be detrimental if you have water retention or you're having a fluctuation. So I always like to, in addition to that, look at how I feel, like in the mirror, in my clothes, things like that. And when I wake up and I feel a little bit better, it's like a motivator to do it the next day and the next day. And that definitely goes back to nutrition, like when you make those disciplined choices for you, not for anyone else, saying, like, I know this isn't good for me, or I know this isn't gonna get me towards my goals, then you feel it the next day and the day after that, and you stay committed and you it becomes a motivation, although we say motivation comes and goes, but you can be your own motivation rather than looking to someone else to be your motivation. Like, I'm motivated to look just like her. No, you want to be motivated to look like the best version of you.

SPEAKER_00 27:12

Even if you want certain characteristics that someone else has, like there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with being like, oh, I want a like more abs, I want a bigger booty, bigger legs, whatever. Yeah, cool. That's your goals. Then keep on working towards that. Don't take away from yourself because you like you got to realize like you're beautiful within yourself and the external and the internal. And I'm telling you, the more you actually step into your best version, holy heck, you just you attract people like nobody's business. And it's not just guys. I'm like, holy heck, it's not guys, it's more so just your right tribe. Because when you actually don't want anything from anyone, I don't want anything from anyone. I truly don't. If people bring something to the table in my life, that's fucking incredible. But when you actually are good within yourself, you're literally like a pie that is completely filled. You're content with yourself, you love yourself, you you're creating an independent life for yourself, you have the friend group, you're working on your family, whatever it is. You got that complete pie. Okay, but a lot of people are missing pieces of the pie and they think that it comes from a relationship or all the validation. Holy hell, that's a big one. Yeah. Like sure. Women that want all the validation, and then guess what? It stuffs the pie. You have a piece missing, it stuffs the pie. Yeah. And it's like, fuck yeah. And then literally, two seconds later, it's like, I need more, I need more, I need more, I need more validation on Instagram here at the club, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you're just constantly trying to shove that pie. You feel amazing in the moment, but then guess what? The pie piece is still missing. It's an addiction to validation. It's it's an addiction. So then what happens is you spend your whole life feeling like there's something missing, like there's a full inside you that you can absolutely not fill with the shopping, with the crazy vacations, with the validation, with the partner, because then all of a sudden you want the next partner. It literally is something you actually have to just fill that piece with yourself, the healing of yourself, putting that piece together so that you have a full pie. So you're not trying to shove something in. This white people end up in like relationships where they're like, I want like to have a kid. And they think that even though it's a bad relationship, they're like looking to have a kid with them because they're thinking that this is gonna fix the thing. That's filling the pie. Okay. We don't want no pie fillers, cake fillers, okay? We don't want apple pie, okay? But anyways, the main thing is is that you literally we want to just have a full pie so that when you actually draw people into your life, when you're looking at other people, all this stuff, there's no comparison. There is no, I need something from someone. Even my partner, I don't need anything from him. Straight up facts. That's how it should be. We choose each other. Friendships, I don't need nothing from you. Which means actually you can walk away at any point. If there's any disrespect, yeah, if there's something isn't meeting the standards, you walk away. Same thing with the fitness movement, the coaches, the everyone who works in there. If something's off, we don't need. We don't need each other. We choose each other. That is the most powerful thing you could ever have is feeling good within yourself, having that confidence, the self-belief, the standards, so that you actually just don't need anything from anyone, but you choose each other. That is the most powerful way. Because guess what? Even for you, imagine it probably feels so much better knowing that I'm not in desperate need for you, but I choose you every day to be in this movement, to be my friend, to stay in Bali. That's probably more empowering than oh, we need a worker and a body to fill this place. Of course it is. You feel more valued. Exactly. Yeah. So that's everything with life. Yeah. And when you have that, you are in your own lane. You're happy, you're confident, and the right people are just gonna gravitate towards you.

SPEAKER_01 31:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:12

Like I actually spent, like, I was telling you yesterday, I spent a bit of Bali. Like when I first moved here, I wasn't authentically myself yet because I spent a lot of time alone when I was in Miami, just working. Um, so it took me a while to actually like step out of into my shell or out of my shell and stuff. And the first two months of Bali, like no one talked to me at all. No guys, no gals, no nothing. It was pretty much just solitude. And it's because the vibration that I was on wasn't authentically me until I actually opened myself up to be like fully me and embrace it. Um then right once I did that, like next day, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Everywhere. So then I was like, oh my god. And it's because you vibrate on a different frequency, you attract all these people that are actually your tra they don't want anything from you. I don't want anything from anyone. But it's just straight up, you choose. Yep. And when you're you're authentically you and feel confident with you, the right people are gonna gravitate towards you. That's authenticity. So the biggest thing to take away from this is legit, I went through all these feelings too. I went through the struggles, the hell, the not feeling good enough most of my life until I done that internal work. So now I'm showing you that on the other side, the 2.0 version of you, this is how you actually get to feeling confident and put yourself in a position where you're not swaying based on who sees your value or not, relationships, people choosing you, or you one day looking in the mirror, not looking in the mirror, like it doesn't sway. There's days you'll have ups and downs, those feelings always come, but you're more consistent. Now, what does that mean is you don't go like this all day, every day. You're just straight like this, more like little bumps like that. So that's an empowering way to live. And the only way to do that is to actually emphasize on yourself, focus on yourself and see the beauty and the characteristics that you have as a person that you were uniquely you for a reason.

SPEAKER_01 33:15

Yeah. 100%. Do you agree? Yeah. Okay. Courtney helps me all the time, so it's it's it's good to and it's good to surround yourself with people and friends that are able to be that support for you and um and kind of remind you every now and then, as long as you're making sure that you're also doing the internal work. So yeah, it's all of it, you know, we all go through it. And I think, um, especially in this movement, we do so much mindset work and we talk about identity and things like that, and it's like you gotta be you.

SPEAKER_00 33:56

Like, yeah, that's that's that's another big piece, is like being in a community where you actually can let the mask go. That was a really big piece with our retreat, as well as the women came and it was so powerful, not because oh, we had these amazing foods and we had good workouts. Yeah, like that is like the baseline of what what we do, like that's like the bare minimal. Yeah, okay. Like, bare minimum standard is like we have some good workouts and we have some good meal plans. Like, that doesn't even touch what actually is beautiful about this community, the retreats, even this podcast. It's being able to be like, hey, I'm okay to be myself. I can for the first time ever just be myself. I'm I'm actually loved for stepping more into my weirdness, stepping more into myself, allowing myself to be the priority. Like that actually is so beautiful. And that's what our women felt at that retreat because now the whole community loved them for just being them. No one wants a copy of a copy of a copy, man. Don't copy me. Like, I'll give you all the tools and stuff like that. But it's like that's not what we want. I want to inspire people to actually step into themselves. That's like the best possible thing is be you literally after this. Like, some tips that we can give you is like just think about your best version, the version you that you want to be. And I want you to ask yourself at every given moment, what would she be doing right now? Yeah, how would she act? How would she be in this situation? Because the more and more that you actually think about that, the more and more that you actually become her. So that's that's the biggest thing. Step into yourself, only be you. Really? Is it is that so empowering?

SPEAKER_01 35:39

It really is. It is in this community, just embodies that truly 100%. Yeah. If you haven't figured it out yet, Courtney is pretty passionate about more than just oh, the scale weight and what you're gonna eat. This is so much more than that. Yeah, yeah. The movement is literally a movement, and it's incredible. It's incredible what it does for me as a coach, and I think all the coaches as well. It gives us purpose and um it's fulfilling, and you don't have that with just training someone. Just here's your workout, here's your nutrition plan. You get that by building the relationships and learning the depths of that person and and just being able to assist them and like you said, into coming into themselves. And yeah, it's really special.

SPEAKER_00 36:31

Yeah, that's exactly what this is like beyond just the movement that we have, is like everyone that I encounter, I'm trying to do one thing, and that's literally what we're trying to get you as coaches to do is just elevate someone, just literally pull out the most beautiful characteristics about them, get them to see the vision of themselves being that 2.0, and just help them be able to get there. Like, I actually spend a lot of time just like researching or learning new things because I'm just like, what can I do to actually help people elevate themselves? And this is your permission to be able to do that, like to actually step into yourself because we don't need the world, doesn't need more people to be like anyone else, or more people to just fade into the background, man. Like your life wasn't made for that. You're made your life was made for so much more. So you gotta like you can't waste your life. You actually can't. It's it makes life more empowering to step into your 2.0. So yeah, that's basically it, gals. So thank you so much for watching, and thank you so much, Elise, for coming in and sharing your opinions with us. And we will make sure that you hit the subscribe button because you want to be listening, learning all this different stuff because it's all relatable back to your health and fitness and being your best version. And nurses, this applies to you, also just anyone in life, guys, girls, like everyone. So, that being said, I will see you next time. Thanks so much.