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Life Divergent
Tune in to listen to us as we discuss our experiences of living life divergently.
Life Divergent
EP 5 - Tips for Successfully Navigating ADHD
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We have rounded up some tips to help navigate ADHD that are actually doable.
Okay.
SPEAKER_02We are recording.
SPEAKER_01We are recording. So let me get my stuff out. I still have to open this other dock. Get my docs in a row. See, I did it.
SPEAKER_02You you certainly did.
SPEAKER_01I sure did. All right. Um, and I want to open this in a new tab. Yay! Okay.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_01So there you are. Hello. And welcome. I don't want to start that way. I don't like saying and. Hello, welcome. I'm Trina. He's Jason.
SPEAKER_00And this I didn't let you say anything, did I? I'm sorry. You didn't. Hello.
SPEAKER_02I mean, if you want me to be the magical assistant, then I can just, you know, saw the person in half while you talk about it.
SPEAKER_00I don't want you to be a magical assistant.
SPEAKER_01I want you to be the co-host.
unknownOh.
SPEAKER_01So let me let you say something. Here's Jason.
SPEAKER_02Is that your way of letting me say something by introducing me?
unknownYes. Okay.
SPEAKER_01That's your cue.
SPEAKER_02What about the RST?
SPEAKER_01What?
SPEAKER_00Hi Jason.
unknownHi.
SPEAKER_01How are you?
SPEAKER_02Well enough.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Did you know that this is life divergent, Jason?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I did. Okay. Kind of like feels like life distractance. We've been here a minute and a half and haven't accomplished almost nothing.
SPEAKER_01That's pretty much a par for the course though, I think.
SPEAKER_02That's not a complaint.
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_01Okay. So in today's episode, Jason, just in case anyone forgot your name, since I said it last, like two seconds ago, um, we are going to be discussing tips for dealing with ADHD. Some that are a little more thought-out, and some that are real quick tips.
SPEAKER_02Yes, and if you are wondering if we're talking on this because we are experts and professionals, you are mistaken because we are neither experts nor professionals, nor doctors, nor lawyers. We're not providing any advice that should be taken as something that you do.
SPEAKER_00That was me taking it with a grain of salt, but then after that it occurred to me that that was kind of obscene looking. Yes, should I edit that out?
SPEAKER_02I don't know.
SPEAKER_00I am so sorry.
SPEAKER_02Those who don't have a visual, just imagine the action of holding a salt shaker kind of over your head and then shaking salt onto your face. That is what she did. That's what my mother did.
SPEAKER_01Anywho.
SPEAKER_02Anyway, we're not doctors, lawyers, anything like that. This is not legal or medical advice. Do not take it as such. We are not accountable or liable for anything, regardless of how you think, feel or say.
SPEAKER_01That is all true. Fat. Alright, yeah. Have a friend with you today.
SPEAKER_02I do.
SPEAKER_01Let me see it.
SPEAKER_02A little wooden turtle.
SPEAKER_00It's a tortuga!
SPEAKER_02It is.
SPEAKER_00Hola, tortuga, hola.
SPEAKER_02He has an injury.
SPEAKER_01But that's oh no. One of his little flappers is missing.
SPEAKER_02He's still next to.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Thank goodness he doesn't have to swim today. Alright, I have two friends, but they go together. For those who can't see, I have a toad from Mario in a little go-kart. And I have a Yoshi on a motorcycle. They are cute.
SPEAKER_02Both are from the Mario Kart series, presumably.
SPEAKER_01Yes, thank you for that. Alright, so we are going to get into it. And we are going to start off discussing three different categories of navigating ADHD. And those are organization and time, focus and stimulation, and lifestyle and mindset.
SPEAKER_02Yes, and there are real tips in here that can help. Because you know, if you have ADHD and you tell someone about it and they say you should get a planner. Like that, like that's the the the life-changing advice that you've not tried a hundred times.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Yeah, real. Real ones. Alright, so um the first one that I want to start with, Jason, is the 135 rule. Um, you're familiar with the 135 rule?
SPEAKER_02I am. And I've been familiar with a long time and been familiar with it for a long time, and not at all because we discussed it right before this.
SPEAKER_01Yes, we did. All right, so the 135 rule basically is saying that what you should do each day is limit your daily goals to nine tasks maximum. And there is one big task, three medium tasks, and five small tasks. Not having a giant to-do list is going to be so helpful because anyone with ADHD can tell you that is so overwhelming to see such a daunting list. It's it's impossible. So, um, one important thing is that that doesn't mean you have to do nine things. If you don't have nine things to do, you don't have to make things up. It's just a way of thinking about your day in a more palpable way, so to speak.
SPEAKER_02I mean, even coming up with tasks could be one of the tasks on your road to recovery or whatever you want to call it.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Complete a task list.
SPEAKER_02If you think about some of the stuff you have to do, any of those tasks takes 15, 20 minutes or longer, you just sorry, longer than 15, 20 minutes. It's it's too big of a task. So you gotta break it down into smaller tasks, like not as big big tasks, medium tasks, small tasks, micro tasks. Whatever needs to happen for that particular 15 plus minute task.
SPEAKER_01So let's give an example. Let's talk about cleaning the kitchen. Um, so if we were going to clean the kitchen and we wanted to use the 135 rule, let's talk about how we might break that down. Um I would think that one of the biggest tasks of all might be um doing the dishes, which includes um if you have a dishwasher, emptying the dishwasher, putting things away, um, then loading the dishwasher, and then if you happen to wash anything by hand, like your pots and pans, washing those. Um, so that can be a lot, um, but it could be your big task. But one important thing to remember about your big task is that you can break that down, um, which is number two on our list. Um, we'll just throw it in here that if a task takes longer, as Jason was saying, longer than 15 to 20 minutes, break it down into smaller tasks and kind of reward yourself for each little step that you complete. Um, as I just said, you can do the part where you unload the dishwasher. And even if you don't put things away as you go and you just set them up on the counter in nice little piles according to where they go, all right, do that, and then give yourself a little break, a little grace in between, and then put the things away, and then do each step like that. Okay, and then eventually your dishes will be done.
SPEAKER_02Yes, now part of the struggles that I've had with the whole dish process is things are in the dishwasher, stuff stays in the sink, and you're like, nah, I'll get to the I'll get to the stuff in the dishwasher, I'll put it away. And then it doesn't happen, and it doesn't happen. Then all of a sudden you have so much work in that whole process, and then you're like, you know, I'll just I'll just clean the stuff that I need, I'll get to the rest later, and then it's there for 12 years. Or what does help me as well is when I start the dishwasher in the first place. I'll I don't know how long it actually takes, but I set a thing on my phone and an alarm, like an hour. And if it stops, I'm not gonna be able to tell. I'm way too distracted by something else. But then when my phone alarm goes off, it's like, okay, let me like this the timer is what tells me what to do. So I stop when it tells me to stop, and then I go take those out. So next time I'm gonna need to load stuff in the dishwasher, it's already done because I set that timer.
SPEAKER_01Right. Um, so as far as your medium tasks, that could be something like um what? Sweeping, sweeping the floor and then mopping the floor. Um, depending on how big your kitchen floor is. That could take, you know, 10 minutes each task. But again, break it down into those two tasks. Don't think I have to sweep and mop. Just think I have to sweep. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And then go ahead. Sweeping is daunting. Then I think people with the the O C D mind already do this, but you can think about the kitchen floor in in in segments, and you can just sweep one segment at a time and then compile the piles and then get it all together. So, like, oh my gosh, it's this large floor. Like, nah, let me just do this section. This is one square I can do, this is one triangle I can do, and then you'll have those small tasks.
SPEAKER_01Right. And then the same with mopping. Um, I tend to do that anyway when I'm mopping, I mop in sections. Actually, um, I don't mop mop, I get down on my hands and knees with towel and cleaner and clean, but that's another story altogether.
SPEAKER_02I'm less work, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um the next thing is the small tasks, which can be something like wiping down the counter, which might take you, you know, a couple of minutes, wiping down the stove, wiping down the refrigerator. And sometimes, depending on the state of your kitchen, if you take some of the smaller tasks and do them first, like you can wipe down your fridge before you um get started on your dishes, that's one thing you can tick off your list. Um, you've done it, it's a small victory, it's a win, it's a dopamine rush potentially. That hey, I just did something that was on my list. So sometimes it's good to intermingle your small, medium, and large tasks. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Break up the monotony of doing only smalls.
SPEAKER_01Right. Um, and something else that can really help if you live with someone, or um, there's an app for this. Um, I'll tell you about the app in just a minute. But um you can body double. Sometimes what I do is I'll go get my daughter if I have something that seems sort of daunting that I need to do, like the dishes, for example, because we don't have a dishwasher, so I have to wash dishes by hand. I'll go get her and ask her if she'll come body double me. And basically, all I'm doing is asking her to come and be in the same area as me. She can be drawing, doing her art, um, she can be doing anything else. It doesn't matter, but I just need her there. We do communicate and talk to each other from time to time because then I'm less focused on doing the dishes and more focused on the conversations that we're having. And so I don't really realize that I'm doing the dishes, and I find that extremely helpful. And there are tons and tons of people that find body doubling extremely helpful.
SPEAKER_02That segues nicely into distracting your mind, actually.
SPEAKER_01Yes, actually, it does. All right.
SPEAKER_02So part of completing a bunch of tasks is it's not really fun, and it's so easy for any other fun thing in the world to make you want to just do that. And so you want to distract your mind. The part of your mind that would normally get distracted, just distract it with something like light conversation while you're while you're moving about, or uh kind of low-level music, instrumental music specifically, because you're playing a song with lyrics, you might try to sing along to it, focus on that, get distracted by it. This has to be like mildly minimally distracting, not a focus.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I know. Sometimes what I'll do is I'll um pull a podcast up on my phone or um or on YouTube or whatever, and I'll put my phone in the window and I'll have it on because something like a podcast, even though there might be visuals, hello kitty. This is boop again. Hello boop. Um boops butt. Um, but for those who didn't see, who don't have the visual, that my was my black cat boop. Um, anyway, um you can prop your phone up and listen to a podcast while you're doing the dishes. I find that extremely helpful. So yeah, um, and real quick, the body doubling app, I'm gonna circle back to that real quick, is called Dubby. It's D U U B B I I. This isn't sponsored or anything like that, but they have sessions all day long. Um, it's by ADHD Love. They're out of the UK, and they have this app, and a lot of people find it extremely rewarding. I think it's like five bucks a month or something like that. Don't quote me on that, but um, they have sessions all day long. You can log in, log in, go to kitchen cleaning or brushing your teeth or doing the laundry, folding clothes, whatever. So you're paired up with tons of people, tons, a lot of people who are doing the same task that you are, and there are coaches there who are paid employees of the people who run the app, um, and they just kind of cheer you on and talk to you and help you through your tasks. And I think that that's kind of an extraordinary thing. Hello. Hello, all right.
SPEAKER_02That was a cat that got in her way, so she said hello.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I keep forgetting about that. Um, another thing is fidgeting. Like when I'm sitting here, a lot of the times I don't have it out yet, but I know that I will eventually is I have my little dude, my little fidget dude. So if there are things that you're doing where you can use your hands to fidget, or at least one hand, like if you're working on emails or something like that, for example, while you're thinking, you can use your little fidget toys to help distract you in a good way. Um, but then you could also limit your distractions, and these are the non-purposeful distractions. Um, so you might want to silence your phone, for example, or put your phone in another room while you're working, while you're doing something, just so you don't pick it up and doom scroll.
SPEAKER_02Any other suggestions of well, if you're listening to your the the podcast or YouTube or whatever, then you can't necessarily put it out of the room unless you have earbuds, which would be great, but just keep it out of reach wherever it needs to be. Don't have it chilling in your pocket because it's so easy to pull it out and then yeah, so just that.
SPEAKER_01Right. Okay. Um let's see. So I think we've wrapped up with focus and stimulation without saying that we were in focus and stimulation with this okay, and then finally, some lifestyle and mindset strategies to use.
SPEAKER_02Now good part a good way to build around doing things is is moving. Get moving, right? Light exercise, which for anyone who has a hard time exercising, they're like, Yeah, okay, sure, Jason, I'll exercise.
SPEAKER_01No, just what has two thumbs and hates exercising.
SPEAKER_02This guy. No, that's fine. Listen, just just walk around. I love to pace when I'm talking on a phone, for instance, and that's just that's just moving. So that helps. You know, exercise can boost dopamine levels. So if you're already just walking around, what you can do is just like for 10 seconds, do some knee highs in place where you just kind of like take high steps, and that just gets the blood flowing a little bit. That's it's 10 seconds. And you're already up and moving, so it's a nice segue, nice progression. And that will help with uh once you get the dopamine up, you're not gonna be as as impulsive. The executive function is gonna be a bit easier because you're going to have just a little more confidence to push decisions in directions. Now, this is not going to change your life forever, but all of these little steps together are huge.
SPEAKER_01Um, another thing that you can do to get moving is if you're listening to music anyway, if you get up to go to the restroom, for example, and there's a song on that you really like, stop and dance that song out. Um, that can get the uh adrenaline flowing, can get your dopamine going, um, and it can help to give you the push you need to get back to what it was that you were doing before you went to the restroom.
SPEAKER_02You can just electric slide your way over there.
SPEAKER_01It's electric. Sorry. Um, yeah. Um, so another thing that's really, really, really important, and I know ADHDers struggle with this. Um prioritizing sleep. I struggle with sleep. Jason struggles with sleep, but I think that he's come up with some um pretty good um strategies for dealing with that. Want to fill us in? Sure.
SPEAKER_02I have an alarm on my phone every day, 10:30. It says take melatonin now. So once the alarm goes off, and I if I have to go from my desk to the bathroom to get melatonin, probably not gonna happen. So I just keep it on my desk right next to me. So when the alarm goes off, I can just take it. And then I'll start to feel it can sometimes take an hour, but I also use that opportunity to stop what I'm doing, maybe five minutes to wrap up. Because that's hard to do. It really is hard to do. But I also know that I work in the morning and I work like garbage when I'm tired, and work sucks and I don't do well, so whatever I want to stay up and do will be there the next day, and I'll be better at it actually, because I got a decent amount of sleep. So then I'm in bed more recently by 11:30. And there are there are people in the world who are like, oh my god, that's so late, because they go to bed at nine because they wake up at four in the morning to go running for five miles because their life is missing. Hold on, I can't really say that. I have no idea why that's a good idea for them because I don't, it doesn't work for me, but the thing that I just described about getting to bed by 11:30, that's great for me. Because I wake up at 6:30 and that's seven hours of sleep right there. Because you went between seven and nine, and I'm happy.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I struggle with sleep so much.
SPEAKER_02Sorry, I just want to what I just said, that whole description is a long way of saying I set an alarm.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you do that.
SPEAKER_02That's right.
SPEAKER_01But you also use melatonin again, not doctors, not giving advice, but for some people, melatonin works.
SPEAKER_02Some people say melatonin doesn't, that but if that doesn't work for you, that doesn't mean this whole plan that works for me won't work for you.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_02Don't do the melatonin part of it. Just start your mind down process. Stop looking at screens. The blue light kind of keeps your mind awake.
SPEAKER_01Yes, that gets us into um the final lifestyle and mindset thing, which is practice mindfulness. Meditation helps um you observe the symptoms objectively and gives your brain a chance to rest and reset. Um, but what I Do that I have found helpful, not always successful, but at least it moves me in the right direction. Is um I'll give you an example. Like I won't have my phone, I won't be doom scrolling, but I have to have something on, like a TV. And I'll put on um either a podcast that I've heard a million times, or I'll watch a show that I've binged 500 times. Um, of course I'm exaggerating, but um, in some cases, maybe not, but um something that I'm familiar with because I have to have the noise to distract me, but not so much that it gains my interest because it's something I'm very familiar with. I'll oftentimes turn my back and close my eyes, turn my back to the TV, close my eyes, and then what I do, I don't practice meditation per se, but I'll give you an example. Before we recorded our very first episode of um Life Divergent, I was practicing how I was gonna open the show. Um, the hello, welcome, I'm Trina, he's Jason. This is Life Divergent. Um, and so I would just go over that repeatedly in my head, just repeatedly, repeatedly, repeatedly, even though it was like, okay, I already know what I'm gonna say, I have it memorized. There's no point in me continuing to repeat it in my head. But what I found was that just repeating that one thing was sort of a way of me meditating, because by focusing on that, it drove all the racing thoughts out of my head. It didn't allow anything to get in. Now, when I started to drift off, sure, things would start to creep in. But then if I needed to, I would go back to that almost like a mantra. Um, so I find that helpful if I find one thing to focus on that's a small thing and just repeat it, repeat it, repeat it, repeat it. That helps me a lot. What about you? Anything other than your melatonin? You don't probably don't need to try to tune out like that now that you're um taking the melatonin, I assume.
SPEAKER_02I need to make sure to stop being on my phone because melatonin will make me tired and a little groggy. But if I'm interested in what I'm doing, I will just by default power through it. Yeah. So the the discipline's gotta be there. It's like, all right, took the melatonin, got ready for bed, set my phone away from me. It's still within like arm's reach because my alarm's on it. One of my alarms is on it, and but I just have to make sure to put it down and lie down, even if I don't think I'll be able to fall asleep right awake. If I'm not watching something distracting, I find that after the melatonin, I'll drift off fairly quickly.
SPEAKER_01Alright. Well, in wrapping up today, what we're gonna do is just throw out some quick tips. I mean, those were a little more involved, but we're just gonna throw out some quick tips that some people, I included in that, find some of these tips to be extremely helpful. And they're quick tips, they're not like things that you really need to give a whole lot of thought to. All right, so the first one is shrinking the first step of any task. Um, if you get up in the morning and you're like, okay, I have a report that I need to finish today, instead of thinking I have to finish a report, think to yourself, I'm gonna open that document. That way, once you open that document, you may find that you naturally get interested in your report again and you start working on it again, just because you have it open. So aim for open the doc, not finish the report, because opening a document isn't really daunting. So you're kind of tricking your mind a little bit into the small things.
SPEAKER_02And then what you what's up? Go ahead.
unknownGo ahead.
SPEAKER_02Okay, another tip is uh if you got a hard task or something that seems daunting, or you broke it down, it still seems like a lot. Work next to someone in person, maybe a silent video call because that presence holds your focus, and in a way, it might be an accountability partner. That's a tip you can try.
SPEAKER_01Right. And then um putting your brain on the wall, have a whiteboard, huh? Figuratively, yes, figuratively, don't do that on purpose, literally. Um, yeah, so you can have whiteboards around, you can use sticky notes, have a visible list that you carry, for example, in your phone, you might have a notes app or something like that, so that you have something that works when your working memory can't. Um, so it's just something quick and easy that you can see, and sometimes that those little reminders can help.
SPEAKER_02Next one is going to be get a timer, use a timer. You know, if you have some things that you're going to work on, you need mini breaks in between. So have five minutes where you're just doing your own thing, um, kind of mobile, walking about, stretching, something to pull your mind away from what it was, then 25 minutes on. And then just rinse and repeat. Get alarms set if you know you have a project to work on. Every 25 you stop. Take your five, have your fun, get back to it, etc.
SPEAKER_01Right. And then um you can pair dread with delight. And what this means is when you know that you have to do something that's boring or whatever, play some music, have some snacks, protein. Um, have some snacks, use fancy pens. If you know you need to write something, you need to take notes, you need to um write in your journal, or you need to make a to-do list. If you're making your to loot to-do list, use fun pens. Um, that can make the task less daunting, as I've said before. I seem to like that word today. Whoops. Anyway, it can just make it more fun, less boring, is what I meant to say.
SPEAKER_02Well, let's move on to moving. Move first, then think. I just mentioned 25 minutes on, five minutes off. But you know, five minutes of walking, dancing, stairs, like walking upstairs, not just staring. The motion unlocks the focus, and it's actually better than pep talks. People love talking themselves up, saying you're awesome in a mirror, and that does work actually. But the five minutes of mobility, it's gonna do a lot more.
SPEAKER_01Right. And um cut down on the decisions that you have to make in a day that can really cut down on your mental fatigue, um, which a lot of ADHers struggle with. So, what this means is you can do things like something Steve Jobs used to do. Those of you who are familiar with Steve Jobs, I'm not saying that he had ADHD, but what I'm saying is he wore the same clothes every day because he honestly believed that cutting down on your decision making would free up energy for more important things. So, what he did every day, he wore a black turtleneck shirt and blue jeans. Um, so you could do something like that, wear the same clothes on a regular basis. I don't mean repeating the same clothes that you already have on, but just have 10 of the same outfits. Um, eat the same meal for a few days. That way you're not having to decide what to eat. Um, I think that there are some ADHD or we go through that cycle anyway, where we're gonna eat the same foods regardless. Um, and have like a set morning order, the way that you do things. I get up in the morning, I go to the restroom, I brush my teeth, and then I go to my desk. That way, there's no question, you don't have to decide. You already know that that's what you're doing.
SPEAKER_02It'll happen on its own. Building those habits is is critical because you're not going to use as much of your limited mental energy on stuff that can just happen in the background. And part of what we've already mentioned is protect your sleep and get some protein. Snacks are important, but protein's good for you. Sleep is critical, but it seems to be the thing that people are most willing to sacrifice. Get your seven and nine hours. Compromise other things. If you're like, oh well, I need to finish this laundry, laundry's still gonna be there. You'll be fine. If you want to just finish you know reading that thing, words are still gonna be there. Lack of sleep is just the killer of dreams. So that's actually ironic because it's literal too. I didn't mean to do it.
SPEAKER_01Literally, killer of dreams if you're not sleeping.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, anyway, just go to sleep.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, go to sleep. And remember that if you fail, and I hate to use the word fail, I don't mean the word fail, but if you are trying to um employ any of these tips that we've told you, and you feel like you fell off somehow, or you didn't make it through, like if you're doing the one, three, five, well, I only completed my one and two of my threes, or I only completed two fives, don't worry about it. Tomorrow's a new day. Start all over tomorrow and don't worry about what you didn't do. Focus on what you're going to do.
SPEAKER_02So with that if you have ten things to do, and you do one of those things, people will say, Man, I had nine other things that I just didn't get done. But the truth is, you didn't do zero things, you were able to get an item knocked off your list, and that's more important.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Celebrate the little victories, yes, and your brain will thank you because of the dopamine hit.
SPEAKER_02And if you're over there like, oh, like it's just that easy. No, it's not just that easy, but no, just then uh watch these podcasts over and over again and help build those habits of that that positive self-talk um right here on a life divergence. That's the best thing. If we can provide any advice, it would be just to watch, listen, be a part of this.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Um, so I guess with that being said, um, our next episode that we record is going to be us discussing ADHD strengths. The good things about having ADHD. I'm not gonna insult anyone by saying superpowers. I'm just gonna say that we have some strengths that we can lean into, and that is what we will be discussing on our next episode.
SPEAKER_02How is saying superpowers insulting to people?
SPEAKER_01Because some people are offended by it. I just repeated what you said. Um, I've just heard in the community that some people think that that's minimalizing the struggle. Um minimizing, minimizing, minimizing, minimizing the struggle that ADH people go through by calling them superpowers. So I'm not offended.
SPEAKER_02Everything in life has strengths and weaknesses, pros and cons. If you want to comment on the strengths of it, that doesn't at all we're not at all talking about the neutrals or the negatives. So I I think that's really more a testament of people's viewpoints.
unknownTrue.
SPEAKER_02So focus on the positive, guys. The world's not out to get you.
SPEAKER_01Yes. And we will talk about that next time.
SPEAKER_00Bye.
SPEAKER_02I waved. That's good.
SPEAKER_00I wanted the bye. Anyway, for real this time, bye.
SPEAKER_02Bye.
