1. Introduction

I have always believed the best conversations happen when people slow down enough to actually listen. Around a porch, over breakfast, in the moments when no one's in a hurry to leave. In this introduction to Better Thinking Better Living., I share how a lifetime of conversations, with my dad, in books, around a family table where didn't want to leave, have led me to start this podcast. It's not a two-way conversation, but I hope it sparks one in your own life. 

Learn more at https://www.betterthinking-betterliving.com and follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/betterthinking.betterliving

Better Thinking Better Living.  A Life Transitions Podcast, hosted by Tonya Shankle. Follow the show so you don't miss what's next. 

Transcript

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Hello, and welcome to Better Thinking, Better Living, the show for people navigating life transitions who want more clarity, more courage, and more of themselves. I'm your host, Tanya Schenkel. So I've been thinking about how to introduce myself. And honestly, there's a part of me that just wants to jump in to the deeper conversations that we're going to have together, because that's kind of who I am. I want to go there into the real stuff, the stuff that matters. But before we do that, I think you deserve to know a little bit about me and why I believe what I may say might actually be worth your time. So here's the thing. I've always loved conversations, not small talk. I'm talking about the kind of conversations where you can sit across from someone and talk about anything life, meaning, fear, dreams, the stuff that keeps you up at night. And I learned early on that there's something almost sacred about that kind of exchange. So my dad was really good at this. He did this with me and he did this with others. He really enjoyed conversation. And we could talk about anything: politics, philosophy, our fears, our hopes. Nothing was off limits. And I loved that. I loved the way a good conversation could open up a whole new way of thinking about something. It felt like those old porch conversations you hear about down south, and it helped that he was from down south, but where people could sit on the porch, think out loud, sometimes even disagree, and something real would happen in that space. There was a connection that would happen. And like I said, even if people disagreed, there was that connection. So actually, let me tell you about a moment that captured this recently for me. A couple of years ago, I went to visit family. We had breakfast together, and afterward, we just stayed in the living room talking. And the conversation moved from one thing to another: stories, memories, our different perspectives on things we'd all lived through together. The same events, the same people, but everyone remembered it a little differently, seeing it through our own lens. And it felt so connected, so alive. And I was supposed to leave that morning, and I actually ended up staying longer because I didn't want that conversation to end. There was something about being fully present with people I loved, hearing their stories layered next to mine that felt like exactly what I was made for. Now, here's the thing. I know that you and I are not going to be having that kind of conversation. This is a podcast. I'll be talking and you'll be listening. It's not reciprocal the way that that morning was, or the way that many of our quality conversations are. But here's what I hope. If even one thing I say lands with you, makes you pause, makes you think, I hope you'll take it and have that conversation with someone in your life. Let it become something real between you and another person. And if that's not available for you right now, if there's no one to have that conversation with in this season, I want to say that conversations with yourself count too. Sitting with your own thoughts, your own journal, your own honest reflection, that's not a consolation prize. That's real work, and it matters just as much. I've always been a reader too. Literature, philosophy, self-help books, memoirs, all of it. Because books are conversations too, right? They're someone sitting down and trying to make sense of their life and then inviting you into that. And I've spent a lot of my life in those conversations trying to understand myself and the world better. And I think that's why I'm here doing this, because at some point I realize that thinking clearly and communicating honestly, those things aren't optional, not for me. They're foundational. They're how we move through life with intention and integrity. The title of this podcast, Better Thinking, Better Living, it's not accidental. It comes from this belief that the way we think about our lives directly shapes how we live them. And not just thinking about our lives, but thinking about our experiences and the things that we have happen. And if we can think a little more clearly, a little more honestly about who we are and what we actually want and how our reactions are shaping who we are, then everything changes. So that's what we're going to do here. I'm going to think out loud with you. I'm going to share ideas and stories and questions that I hope will make you stop and really think about your own life, not to fix you, you don't need fixing, but to help you think more clearly about who you are and what's possible for you. I'm a therapist with a journal and a passport, and I've spent my career and my life learning that the people who feel most alive are the ones who are willing to look honestly at themselves, honestly at their life, and ask hard questions. So welcome. I'm glad you're here. Let's think better together. So thank you for listening. Be sure to follow Better Thinking, Better Living on your favorite podcast player so you don't miss any future episodes. Until next time, keep thinking better, keep living better.