Shake The Ground Podcast

Laura Young on leaving the Garda, Starting fresh & Mental Wellbeing

• Nathalie Lennon • Season 1 • Episode 1

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This week on Shake the Ground, Nathalie is joined by Laura Young (lauras_views) for a powerful conversation about confidence, mental wellbeing, identity and having the courage to start again. 

After spending almost 15 years as a Garda, Laura made the life-changing decision to walk away from a career that had shaped so much of who she was, choosing herself and a completely new path. They talk about the pressure of living up to expectations, the toll of stress and trauma, rebuilding your confidence, and why sometimes the bravest thing you can do is begin again. They also dive into the influencing world & have plenty of laughs along the way! 

This is an honest, fun & inspiring conversation about trusting yourself. 

If you’ve ever felt stuck, or afraid to make a change, this episode is for you! 

Follow Laura here: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/lauras_views?igsh=MTA4aGZzamtoMDk4ZQ==⁠ 

Follow Nathalie here: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/nathalielennon_?igsh=eDNpdGcwbWVncmtu&utm_source=qr⁠ 

Subscribe to our YouTube here:  ⁠https://youtube.com/@shakethegroundpodcast?si=XWxDmpFsR36dJoza⁠

SPEAKER_00

Shake the Ground Podcast is brought to you by Amplify Podcast Studio. They don't just produce podcasts, they build podcasts designed to last. See Amplify. Welcome to Shake the Ground, the podcast that's here to remind you that the life, job, relationship, and persona you want is on the other side of overcoming fear. I'm your host, Natalie Lennon, and every week we're diving into the stories of people who dared to do things differently, who chose the path less taken, trusted themselves, and quite literally chucked things up. I'm a believer that confidence isn't something you are born with, and that it's something you build. And I really hope this podcast helps you to do just that and never settle for a life less than what you dream of. So if you've ever felt stuck, scared, or like you're playing small, let's shake the ground. Today's guest is someone who truly embodies what it means to shake the ground, at least I think so. Laura Young, also known as Laura's Views, spent 14 years working as a garda, dealing with the kind of pressure, response, responsibility, and trauma that most of us just can't even imagine. Instead of staying in a career that looked secure on the outside, Laura made the incredibly brave decision to walk away and choose herself. Since then, she has built a platform rooted in honesty, authenticity, and actually saying the things that most people are afraid to say. She's genuinely been someone who I always looked up to online in terms of her honesty, openness, vulnerability, and confidence. Hopefully she agrees with me now. She's someone who didn't follow the expected path offline or online, I would say. I think she open quotations influences close quotations differently. She created her own ways and never follows the grain. And today we're going to talk to her about her journey: confidence, fear, burnout, identity, and much more. Laura, welcome to Shake the Ground. What? An introduction.

SPEAKER_01

How am I supposed to react to that?

SPEAKER_00

How am I supposed to respond? I love it. Did you feel like that described you correctly?

SPEAKER_01

I feel like if I say yeah, that's very patting myself on the back. You're allowed to pat yourself on the back. But I do actually feel proud because everything you said while it was like gassing me up a little bit. But it is, it is true. I did go against the grain. I did what you people usually don't do leaving a career after almost 15 years.

SPEAKER_00

So I am actually kind of proud. Am I allowed to admit that? Of course. I'm all for baking yourself up. And I genuinely meant it when I say I feel like you haven't followed the grain like offline or online. Like even as an influencer, I feel like you do it so differently and you do it the way it should be done. Like I've always, since I started in this world, I've always looked at your content being like, she just doesn't give a damn about like the judgment or societal norm that people kind of associate influencers with. And I adore you for it. So I think you are the perfect guest to have on this first season of Shake the Ground, because I feel like you literally shake the effing ground in everything you do. So for anyone who doesn't know you, how would you describe what you do currently?

SPEAKER_01

So I was chatting to my mother last night and I was saying I'm going on a podcast. Would you like to hear some of the questions? And I read out the first one, and her response was, and I quote, best of luck with that one. And that was my response as well. What do I do? What don't I do? When you say do, do you mean like career-wise or on a daily basis?

SPEAKER_00

Or um I would say both, but let's see, this is the thing about being an influencer, isn't it? Your career and your day-to-day life just kind of merge into one. Yeah. So I would say career, but I feel like that's going to bring some of your day-to-day life. So a broader picture, maybe.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Okay, so what do I do? Well, I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up as an almost 40-year-old woman, which I think I feel like everyone is kind of tr twirling their way through life. I only had this discussion with something a coup someone a couple of days ago. Are we all just spoofing and bluffing our way through life? I feel like the older I get and the more I learn about people, that that is actually the case. Oh, I agree with instances. I so with regard to like work stuff, I quit a very bunny ears, permanent job almost four years ago, mid-2022. And from there I started working with an animal welfare organization. I was there for a little over a year as like an officer with them. And then I kind of just took the leap into I guess self-employment, but it's not conventional self-employment. What is conventional self-employment? What is conventional freelancing? So I think now, more than ever before, it's quite obvious money is becoming, I don't want to say an issue for everyone, but it's it's becoming an issue for lots of people. And I think diversification of streams of income for everyone influencer, admin worker, nurse, guard, teacher, anyone, I think it's really important. So the likes of side hustles, I know that has kind of become a very Americanized term, but I feel like I have a lot of side hustles. Yeah. So I'm both very unemployed but very self-employed. So one of my streams of income is like the influencing. And again, the word influencing comes with connotations, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_00

It's funny because, like, even when you said, you know, you go, it is influencing, we never say it is influencing. Like we never say it with pride because it has such negative connotations.

SPEAKER_01

It does. And we'll probably come back to that later with regard to social media influencing. I also do pet sitting. Bet you didn't see that one coming. I do some pet sitting for people in my area. Love doing that. And let me tell you, if anyone is looking for a side hustle, that is the one to go for. It is so easy. You're eating someone else's food, looking after their animals, getting cuddled with their animals, it is so handy. And you can sit there with your laptop or do whatever. It's a dream. I do pet sitting. What else do I do? Uh I do social media management for some clients. I don't really talk about that too often because honestly, it's it's a lot harder than you'd think. So I do that for some clients as well. So sometimes I'm a videographer for someone for the day. I'll edit their content, I'll send it back to them, and they'll post. Or sometimes I run their socials for them. I do that. What else? Um but even that in itself, there's loads of streams. You would not believe how little extra time I have. And oh, I would. I believe you. You would also not believe how sore my eyes are actually by the end of a given day because I'm looking at the laptop, looking at the computer. I actually do need to get some blue light blocking glasses because I can feel the strain in my eyes.

SPEAKER_00

I do think, like personally, just want to hear you speak about this, doing more social media content for other companies is something I've thought about doing. Because obviously we feel like we're quite quick at doing it now. And when you're new to it, it's hard for someone else to do it. We're different from a videographer.

SPEAKER_01

No offense, Ash. We're different from a videographer where we might not be able, I'm not able to make aesthetic content, but I know what will do well on social. Yeah. I know what will grab attention, I know what a good hook is, I know how to get humor, I know what text and where to put it on the screen. I do know that. So I actually think I'm very good at doing social for other people and other creators and other businesses as well.

SPEAKER_00

I admire this so much about you because when you look at your page, you in the nicest way possible thinking. No, no, no, no, no, not that. No, no, you can say that. No, right. Well, it's more real in the aesthetics of your content. But what I was gonna say was you think that's what you do full time and you actually have so much else going on, and that doesn't come through in your content. And I love that because you hustle so hard behind the scenes and don't like feel the need to sing about it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, um I also don't need any more. Yeah, sadly. You're busy enough. Which is great though. So, okay, let's let's talk about that. You were obviously in the guards for almost 15 years.

SPEAKER_01

I joined in August 08, walked through the doors of Temple Moore with my two suitcases into my little dorm room, and I was like, I guess I'm doing this now. I'd applied on a whim, Natalie. I'd applied on a whim, saying that could be good crack. Next thing I know, one two skip of you. I'm in Temple Moore. It was it was not even my family were like you wake up in the morning in Temple Moore. Yeah, you do, you parade every morning with your shiny shoes, and you have to have all your hair gelled up. Yep, it's called parade, yeah. Wow, yeah. You have to have your shoes bullshined, not spit shine. Some of them did spit shine, actually. I just use like the cheap shine stuff. Every hair had to be up. So, like, see the baby hair sticking out.

SPEAKER_00

A smooth company would have been out in full force if it was out back then.

SPEAKER_01

Imagine, oh, they would have made a fortune. We were using like cheap gel and hairspray and pins trying to keep every hair up. But you know what? It was actually go crack. Templemore was go crack.

SPEAKER_00

I have heard, yeah. I know of a few like people working in the guards at the moment, and I've heard that it's it's alright. I suppose the tough work comes after Temple More, really.

SPEAKER_01

For sure. Yes. So I left Temple More in 09 uh with my full powers. I feel like a magician when I say that, like I have full magic powers. And then I went to my permanent station and I kind of moved around in that area for a while, and then after about we should have done the maths on this, in late 2018, I went into the 999 centre. So is that like taking phone calls? Some of that, but mostly dispatching. Okay. So a call taker would take a call in, they press enter on the call, it appears on my screen, and my job was to find a car or a guard on the beat or on a bicycle or a motorbike. Basically, any guard, basically within the area to find someone who's free to go to that call.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, and did you enjoy that role more than being, I suppose, in different stations prior to that? It was very obviously very different. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Like your biggest physical danger was getting a paper cut, maybe. Okay. While pushing it across your desk, rather than, you know, being out in a patrol car going to maybe a domestic violence incident. And you'll definitely have to put a trigger warning on this, I'd say.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Um, just going to like an incident where maybe someone's not feeling well and they've gone missing and we're looking through woods for this particular person. I don't need to say any more on that really. Um, or going to a domestic violence incident where it's just me and my colleague, and maybe they've been pinned down by an aggressor, and suddenly I'm having to like talk someone down. Some of that, now just to be clear, you're not experiencing those things every single day. Yeah. It's probably like a pretty chill job. Well, I don't know what it's like now, it's been a while, but it was a pretty chill job, I would say 50 to 60 percent of the time. But when it's on, it's on.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And it's like zero to 100 very, very quickly. Very like that in the 999 centre as well. I could have been sitting there for an hour doing very little, but then suddenly there's a car chase and a robbery happening in two different places at the same time, and I'm expected to coordinate both of those. Okay. I really struggled with that. And mid-2020, both the pressure of the job itself, I had some issues with uh management as well. Um, I was having some like relationship problems as well at the time. I ended up actually having to go on medication to like manage my day-to-day life. And I remember my dad giving me some advice about jobs, and he's a very stayed pensionable job is the dream, stay with a really good job. Like I remember yeah, it's the older generation, really, isn't it? Stability, and I get that. He said, You don't have to love your job, but it's really important that you don't hate it.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, I like that. Isn't that really heavy?

SPEAKER_01

That's very powerful. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

It's simple, but also powerful and probably something we don't think about enough.

SPEAKER_01

For sure. Yeah, you also don't have to hate like you can hate it sometimes, that's okay. Yeah, but as long as there's like a balance, you can strike a balance. But I really knew when he said it's time for you to get out of that job, I was like, Whoa, I need to listen.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

If he was saying it.

SPEAKER_00

So I knew on your socials, you've mentioned the odd time about taking medication, but I didn't realise that that started while you were working in the guards. It was it was a combination of lots of little things, COVID as well, couldn't get annual leave during COVID. So it's not just the pressure of the guards.

SPEAKER_01

No, no, it was like it was like 15 different things all coming at once. And I I I remember I spent a period of time at home on my four days off. I don't think I left the couch aside from going to the toilet and getting some food. Just I felt like I was in a depression.

SPEAKER_00

But I don't blame you because the kind of things that you witness over time, those moments must stay with you long after the job, after you clock out at the end of the day, it's hard to just leave that at work and come home, return to normal. Surely that affects you a lot forevermore.

SPEAKER_01

For sure. But mental health-wise, it's really hard to pinpoint, right? What was the one thing that gave me anxiety? Yeah. What was the one thing that triggered that four days of like cloudy, cloudy depression? And I remember speaking to two different therapists about this, and both of them said, Don't try and find the reason why. You'll never find the reason why. It could be cumulative where 20 things all came together, or maybe it was one sound you happened to hear on a Tuesday morning that triggered this and everything came flooding back. You'll never find it. What you need to work on is your toolbox, your toolkit, coping mechanisms. Sometimes that includes medicine, sometimes it doesn't. I remember I went to my GP and I sat down in front of her, absolute angel, and she was like, I think she said something on the lines of what's up. And she sat forward in a really caring, motherly, maternal way. Well, the tears. I was like, I can't get and you will leave. And my boss is a bit of a dick, and my relationship is a bit shit. And I just spilled it all these things, and I was like, I sat on my couch for three days and I did nothing. And she was, as I was speaking, she was going like this, reaching to the reaching for her prescription pad in the back. I was like, What are you doing? What are you reading? I'm not laughing at what you went to. The way you tell the story. This is probably gonna be really like obnoxious in the microphone. I directly. I can see it. Yeah, like tears streaming down my face. She's reaching for her prescription pad and her pen either side. And then I was like, What are you doing? Because I knew exactly what she was doing. She's like, Well, I'm just gonna write your prescription for medicine. And my reaction was, no, no, no, no, that's the stuff that makes you feel numb all the time. And she said, Uh, it can't, it can blunt your emotions. I said, Yeah, I and it makes you feel like I've done research on this and you don't feel ups or downs anymore, you're even. And she said, Yeah, Laura, but what are you feeling mostly these days? Is it down? I was like, Yeah, yeah. Because I think this pill might really help you. You take it every single day, um, and after about four or six weeks, you'll adjust. This is just like she didn't say this, but like my thing is a brah to get your emotions through this stressful time that you can work on your toolkit, your other uh more holistic coping mechanisms. And then eventually she said, we can taper you off, and then you'll be able to like manage. This is just to get you through this stressful time. And I was like, Okay, then I took my little prescription and I went and I got my little white pills and they changed my life. Lexabro, sponsor me.

SPEAKER_00

I love that you speak about this so openly, though, because I've never actually spoke to someone one-on-one like this who's been on medication for uh would you say anxiety and depression?

SPEAKER_01

I think not a doctor, but I think Lexabro kind of is an umbrella for both of those. It kind of helps with both of those symptoms.

SPEAKER_00

But I think it's great to hear someone speak about it just so normally. Do you know? Like it's not something that we need to be afraid to speak about. Um, and also just to go back a bit, because I guess we were kind of giggling at you know, you reenacting that moment, but uh we've all been through our highs and lows in life, and I've been through like that probably a period where I was low for too long. And I remember thinking to myself, I wonder, should I go to the doctor and try to explain how I feel to get out of this? And sometimes I kind of wish I did because I felt like I was the way your doctor said to you, like, but are you low most of the time? And it can be so hard to get out of, and it's okay to ask for that support, but like that, I was probably a little bit uh I was probably felt the way you did when you were like, but does that not just make you numb all the time? And then how do you normalize yourself afterwards? So um I'd love to ask you that, Laura. When you came off that, you said she she would kind of wean you off it. How is that process for you?

SPEAKER_01

Can I circle back for two little seconds? So I'd like to also say the stereotype that a lot of us have, your reluctance to go to the GP to ask for that help, and my reaction of why are you reaching for your prescription? That's almost like the stereotype. We were victims, victims, is that the right word? But we also believe that stereotype, like, I don't want to take a little white pill. Yeah it was the one of the best things I've done for myself. In fact, that Christmas, that's Stevens's day, myself and my family. So I would have started on the meds April, May, June, something like that in 2020. That Christmas, I was at home. Do you remember the lockdowns were limited for the couple of days? And we were out for a walk, and I was like skipping through the forest, and my family were like, You need to come off those meds, you're too joyful on them. It was like nothing could I everything just bounced off me. Now, I don't necessarily think I'd want to be feeling like that forever. You need to feel ups and downs as well. I've suffered very few side effects, I have to say, and I would love to be. I I joke about being sponsored by Lexapro, but I think I should be like a champion for like medicine can be amazing. Because when it comes to any medicines or medical procedures, you often hear all of the bad stories. Like, think of like the coil, you'll hear how horrific it is. Same, same, but you will also hear the people who shout the loudest are the ones who've had the negative experiences. Yeah. So I really want to like slide the flag for like medicine is great. So coming off it, I think am I a year and a half off the meds now? So I definitely stayed on them a longer than I had anticipated. I thought it would be a six-month pill. So you started on them when you were still in the guards? Yes. Yes, okay. And that was another kind of thing on the list, having to take a tiny white pill to manage the stressors of this job. I was like, I shouldn't have to take a little pill to deal with work.

SPEAKER_00

No, no. And I do think I feel like we are living in a day and age where people in their late 20s, 30s, 40s, maybe early 50s, we are like, oh, we just need to grind really hard all the time, deal with the stress, deal with the pressure. And it's something I mentioned to Shannon just before we started having the chat here today. I was like, I feel like so many of us think we thrive off pressure and chaos. Our bodies can't do it. I definitely thought I did. I thought I was the sort of person who always worked best under pressure until COVID happened. And then I was like, oh my God, like there's less pressure. What do I do? I was creating work and pressure for myself, like creating a strict schedule, 8 a.m. to like 8 p.m. of what I would have to do during that day to just go, go, go, go, go. And that's when I realized I was living in fight or flight. But I wouldn't have really known only for COVID. And it was because of COVID I got my period back after losing it for six years. So I definitely think we we justify having to deal with the stressors in whatever job it is, just because that's just what we need to do as humans in this day and age. So I love that you brought that up. So right, you've made this little note, okay, having to take, as you say, like, you know, a little white pill to deal with the stresses of the job, maybe a bit of a red flag. Uh, when did you make the decision to leave the guards? And even right, I have to say, before I get your chance to that, I have had moments over the last few years which I've spoken about with you before where I'd be like, oh, I kind of fear like influencing it's not enough. I don't know if I'm gonna stay doing it. I think I need the state pension, a steady job, something that's secure, like not to be my own boss. And I've contemplated it before. You know, when you hear like the guards are recruiting, I've I've contemplated it, and then I kind of go, No, okay, you're blessed with the work you have, stick with it. But it's just it's just the security of a state of a weekly paycheck.

SPEAKER_01

That is the dream.

SPEAKER_00

Whereas you know, the I was gonna say the joy, the anxiety of waiting for invoices to come in. Like, come on. Yeah, no, it's it's horrific waiting for payments to come in as an example. That is the training, isn't it? Yeah, it is. So tell me then the moment you decided I'm done with the guards and I'm going to be self-employed. Do you want to hear the exact moment? I absolutely do.

SPEAKER_01

April 2022. I need to be careful how I word this. I found myself in a position where I was pulled up for something I did, which I stand over. I stood over and I stand over to this day. I did nothing wrong. I found myself pulled up for this. There was, I think there were 13 of us who did this thing. I was the first one up. Think like a tribunal. I was pulled up in front of a load of officers. A bit like you're in trouble in school, small courtroom, okay. Sort of situation. Recorded lots of paperwork. I had to bring a representative not a solicitor or anything, which is but a representative with me. And I pleaded my quote unquote case, explained why I did what I did. I was, I think it was two and a half hours being grilled in a room as warm as this is, boiling hot, in my garda shirt, which is made from pure polyester. So you can imagine how the pits were.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Not ideal. So I would be sweating like sweating and sweating, even though I knew in my heart and my soul I did nothing wrong here. And then they were deliberating on what the result would be. So I was sent into like a little room next door, really, really bright window, sun baking in. And I remember sitting there and I looked at my armpits and like the wetness was like up to you're probably like, where is this going? And then I was like, No, initially, how I feel.

SPEAKER_00

That was the moment. In yeah, so in okay, in this moment, I feel like my heart goes out to you because I feel like I've got to know you better over the last few years in like the few WhatsApp chats chats. Yeah, like the coffee. Remember, we I think we went for a walk over COVID. That was one of the first big chats we had. Charlie.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, rest in peace, Charlie.

SPEAKER_00

But I remember even then just being so taken aback by, as I said in the intro, how confident you were in yourself and how you just own every opinion, emotion. I feel like there's you just don't care about other people's opinions and judgment. Whereas I definitely still care far too much sometimes. And I really admired that in you. But in this moment, so when you say you stand on the decision you made or whatever happened in the situation being the right thing, I just hand on heart, believe you 200% that whatever happened, you did the right thing. So for you to sit there um and have to go through two hours of like negotiations and then grilling, grilling, and then sit and wait for someone to tell you whether you kind of you're okay or you're not okay. Um, my heart just breaks for you because I just know your morals are always in the right place. So so that was the moment. You're sitting there waiting to be told whether you're good or you're not good.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and I think there was a 5,000 euro fine on the table, as in this could be a five I think.

SPEAKER_00

Did they come out to you? So in your head, you're sitting there waiting. The pits are full of that which moment I said I'm done, I'm not coming back to this job. So did you wait to get the result? No, didn't care. Walked out.

SPEAKER_01

No, no, sorry, I didn't walk out. I made the decision in that moment. I didn't actually resign in that moment, but I'd made the decision. This is it. I'm not coming back to this job. I just can't do this. Talk about feeling thankless.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Not that you need to be like congratulated and thanked profusely for being a guard, because that's what you signed up for. But just I remember standing there being like, Yeah, I'm done. I'm actually done. I'm throwing in the towel. So they came back, they made a decision. It was in my favour. Yeah, you did nothing wrong. Um, yeah, I know, thanks. I I knew I knew that. Uh not everyone in the group got the same decision, I don't think. Um, but maybe six weeks later, then I sent the email uh with the media effect. This is my resignation.

SPEAKER_00

And when you sent that email of resignation from the guards, did you instantly feel a way it was lifted? Freedom? I couldn't get the smile off my face. Okay. Was I kind of terrified? Um, that was the next question. Did you feel fear of the judgment of people going, oh, she's after leaving a good, steady job now?

SPEAKER_01

A little bit, but I made sure not to tell too many people beforehand so they wouldn't get in my head. Yeah. There was one person who I considered a friend at the time whose reaction really like disappointed me. We haven't spoken since, actually. So after I'd sent the email, a couple of days had passed, word had gotten around, as word does, go, Laura's after resigning. Can you believe that? She literally resigned and said, I'm not coming back, bye. Here's the uniform. Um, and this one particular quote unquote friend at the time said, I think you're making a huge effing mistake.

SPEAKER_00

And can I ask, you resignated, but was that with a conscious decision that I'm going to do more content creation? No. So you didn't know then what it was you were going to go into. So they weren't like giving you judgment for being like becoming an influencer instead of a guard.

SPEAKER_01

No, no, no. It was how can you quit this job? Okay, yeah. Because it's just not the done thing. Just an old era mindset. It really is, and it's still very much there, but I was still working with a lot of people who were of that mindset. Whereas nowadays I think there's a lot of people joining the guards and being like and they're out after like a year and a half, two years, which, yeah, fine. I feel like a lifelong career is no longer a thing.

SPEAKER_00

I agree with you, and I feel like we all need to take heed of that more and stop feeling like uh I feel like a lot of us can start to feel quite negative and down when we think, you know, oh, maybe I'll leave this job. I can't have that thought about leaving the job because I'm in a secure job and this is the path of life. I work until I'm 65 in the one job, retire, and then live my life. And I feel like I've like I see my parents do that, I see some of my friends' parents do that, and they're just starting to live now at the age of like 60, 65 or later. And surely we've learned from that not to do the same. And I feel like we have. Like we've spoken about the kind of freedom we have in our job now. I bet that is just a whole new world for you and compared to it.

SPEAKER_01

Unfathomable, yeah, really.

SPEAKER_00

So, do you feel like your it's kind of a deeper question, but like your identity as a guard, who who you thought you were then versus who you are now? Do you feel like that was a different Laura altogether?

SPEAKER_01

No, I and and even people I worked with were like, like I was still having the crack. I was I I never really dulled my personality. Obviously, I was professional when I was dealing with the public and all that. But even I remember I helped someone out. I helped someone out with something. These parents needed help with their teenage kid who was starting to become a little bit unruly. So I helped them out. Nothing dodgy, obviously. Just like I helped them out with some advice. And the next day, they're not allowed to give you gifts or whatever, but they brought me an ingot gift card because I was in like full glam every single day in work, and they were like, We're really sorry. I hope this is not insulting to give you a makeup gift card, but we noticed you like wear full glam all the time. So here's your in-glot gift card. I thought that was so sweet. Um, that's just like the makeup side of things, but I never really dulled my personality even in the guards. I love that. I don't think you're still the same, Laura. I didn't think you'd be professional. Yeah. And I was doing social media, I've been doing social media since 2012. So I was doing that uh in the guards as well. I got ridiculed for it.

SPEAKER_00

So this is gonna be my next question. So obviously, you've made the switch from working in the guards, um, moving into an animal rights charity. Uh animal well-fame organization. Yeah, animal.

SPEAKER_01

So that's that's the that's the net I jumped into from the guards. Okay. So I didn't leave with no job, no prospects. I had that lined up ready to rock. So my bills were always gonna be paid.

SPEAKER_00

But you had been creating content since 2012. So did you have the thought maybe I'll just go straight into that full time, or was that not really an option for you yet?

SPEAKER_01

I would have always loved to do it, but I didn't see it as a prospective thing for me. I never really saw that. But um, after I finished with that animal organization, my following had actually grown to the point where I could actually make a few bob off this.

SPEAKER_00

You worked so hard on building your following though. Do you know? Like, I feel like you are so consistent and always have been with who you are online. Like, if you don't follow Laura, go check her out at Laura's Views on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Yeah, if you if you pop in Laura's views, I'll pop up. I'll go everywhere. I know. And you are just so real and giving such helpful information in all of your posts.

SPEAKER_01

I had a theory that the truth would always prevail. No, I have a theory that being honest would stand to me in the long term. But I remember back in 20, uh, maybe 2014, I posted a review. This is some tea. This is pipe. Oh, we love a bit of tea. Okay, well, I won't be naming brands or whatever. Okay, but I posted a review of something.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And I was able to show it on me, and it was clear by the visual that this product was dire. Okay. Okay. Okay. I posted the review.

SPEAKER_00

Everyone's here trying to guess what the product is.

SPEAKER_01

That night I get a message on my personal private Facebook page from the brand owner saying, I have not stopped crying since being shown this review. Is there anything I can do to get you to remove it? I know. It's a huge brand now. He probably doesn't even know who I am. But I remember considering taking it down. And then being like, no, I didn't say anything nasty about the person, the business. I just showed this is diabolical on me. And I also, I think I did say in the video as well, different skin, different people, but this is diabolical on me. I remember at the time being like, that's really unprofessional as a brand owner.

SPEAKER_00

Do you be like, I haven't stopped crying about this? I haven't stopped crying. Like you're entitled to have your opinion. But that's one thing that I always admired about you because I remember seeing some of your posts when I started off in in this industry, I would absolutely tiptoe around saying anything negative about anything because I'd be like, Oh, I don't want to pee off said brand or that person because you just want to make connections and have opportunities. Um, I always tried to be very real and authentic. I will say that about myself. There was one job I took on, I'm not gonna name it, but it was my one of my very first jobs. Uh, not the National Dairy Council, because that was my first brand deal, and that was like hand on heart, true to me, and the situation I was going through. But there was one other little job. Uh, I'm not even gonna mention Annon because you might guess it, but I hadn't taken it as long as I should have to trial out the product, and I just did it because I was like, this is what influencers do. Like you hold a product, you smile, and you say so proud. Yeah. A sponsorship, yay! But I felt sick to my stomach because I was like, Oh, I said I've trialled it for X amount of weeks and it was only X amount of weeks. And I was like, right, can't ever do this again because I've I just feel sick to my stomach about it, but didn't want to, I'd never say anything that negative about a brand because I'd be afraid it would cause me to lose potential opportunities in the future. Oh, and it will. Which do you think? Oh, definitely. Because I felt like anytime I saw I remember seeing some of your content years ago and being like, oh my god, she's so like brave to move into this brand and be like, it's not good on me. I'm like, how does she have the Leeroy to do it?

SPEAKER_01

Did you also think she's not brand safe?

SPEAKER_00

No one's gonna touch her. Um well, I guess I thought, well, that brand is never gonna touch her. Yeah. But the more I got into the industry, I suppose then I got to fear, well, the PR company that looks after that brand and multiple others would never go to you, even though they may have another brand that would suit you because they'd be afraid of what you would say. But then, like you said, Laura, it stood to you because as the years went on, the brands that really appreciate your honesty and feedback and authenticity, they go to you, and that's what you want. You don't want brands that are giving you a brief telling you exactly what to say. You want to have the freedom to do it and give your actual true opinion on said service or product, and that has stood to you over the years because now look at you, you're fine.

SPEAKER_01

I I had faith that it would come around and that you didn't have to bum lick.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, bumlick.

SPEAKER_01

I was gonna say ars, but I don't know. We're all good. I believed, and I really, really believed in my heart and soul that Arslickin was uh no, not Ars Licken. I I fully believed that not being an Ars Lick would pay off long term, and it actually has because I have built an audience now that I think trust what I say for the most part. I'm sure some hate me, but I think most believe that I'm not gonna stand here and like lie about XYZ. I also can kind of pick and choose what I'm gonna work with, which is great. Yeah, uh, I say no to probably 30% of the offers that come in. That might sound quite low, and I would have thought the same. However, the agency now knows whatnot, even to bother sending over to me, like, no, she's not interested. Yeah, and there's several brands that I've told the agency this is a forever no. Yeah, like you can never come to me with this.

SPEAKER_00

The confidence that you have in yourself online and offline, even having gone through that tough patch of having anxiety, depression, and being on medication for it, like have you always had this confidence in yourself?

SPEAKER_01

My mother and I discussed this last night. Uh, I have this is so ick. If whoever's listening to this, brace your butthole to be puckering like nothing you've ever experienced for the ick. But this is the truth. Ever since I was a child, I remember feeling like I do not want to say the word famous. I had a feeling I would be known. I had a feeling when I was older, I'd be known for something. I didn't know what. Was I going to be a dancer? Was I going to be a singer? Was I going to be an entertainer? I didn't know, but I always had this gut feeling. And there's actually an image, an image, a photo I have of home at home of me in my welly boots on the in the yard at home. I was maybe four or five, going around recording myself with a little tape recorder thing. I was almost it video wasn't really a thing then, but it was probably the version of like vlogging myself, talking to myself. And my mother has always said it to me as well that you've you've you've always known you would be in media. So I think it's funny how that manifested. So you always had that confidence in yourself that you would. I don't know about confidence. I just had a good feeling, like a psychic premonition. I'm going to be known for something when I'm older.

SPEAKER_00

Now for what? I love that. I love that. But like if people said it to you, there'd be a part of you that kind of goes, Yeah, I I think I will. Whereas I think what's funny is we're we're both kind of in a similar role, right? We're both in media, we're both in content creation. And I did a lot of like dancing in stage school when I was younger, so I loved being on stage. Never liked speaking on stage that much. Well, I know, and here I am, but I was like, I'll use my body, I'll dance. Do you know? I won't, I wasn't ever kind of a character. Yeah. Once or twice I sang, was never that good. Like I remember singing, do you remember Jedward's song Lipstick? Got your lipstick on here. Yeah, yeah. Like I remember singing Jedward songs in the spotlight stage school shows and being like, oh my god, I can't, I can't, I just want to dance. I don't want people to hear my voice. And then obviously it changed and I moved into podcasting and radio. But I remember having people tell me, you're made for for like media, you know, you're made to be on stage, you're made to do TV and radio or whatever. And I'd be like, Yeah, it's a dream, but I'm absolutely not like didn't have the confidence in myself. Like people would say that, and I would instantly feel low because I'd be like, Yeah, I'd love that, but I'm not good enough. I'm not confident confident enough. And years ago, I had like a kind of a business mentor try to help me push those doors and build that confidence. And this is how I came across the the name of the podcast because she was like, Nat, you need to fucking believe in yourself, like you need to push the doors open. She's like, You need to shake the fucking ground. She's like, say it with me, shake the fucking ground. We're sitting in the perch at the time in the bottom glass, and she's like moving her hands, and she's like, come on, shake the fucking ground. And I'm like, okay, okay. But even to do like something in a conversation that was just a bit abstract, I was like, No, I don't even have the confidence to say shake the fucking ground. So hearing you just know that you had that confidence from the get-go is amazing. Was there ever a moment like building up to where you are now in your career that there was fear of judgment of anything? Was there ever fear to overcome?

SPEAKER_01

There probably was, but not enough to deter me. Because I've posted consistently for 26 minus 12. It's crazy. 14 years. And that's not me trying to like again pat myself on the back. I I have no problem with patting myself on the back. That's just me trying to self-reflect. If if I was really truly terrified, I would have just stopped. I used to post ASMR videos, and one of the guys in work were like, I found your weird whispering videos, Laura. I I deleted my channel every ch uh trace of it then. Oh but I kept my normal beauty content and whatever posting, it's not beauty anymore, but yeah. Oh if I really was self-conscious, I would have deleted all my social media. Yeah. But I just pre- It was my outlet, it was a hobby, and you couldn't really make money off it in 2012. Not that I was aware of anyway.

SPEAKER_00

No, you couldn't.

SPEAKER_01

I started for the pure love of it and for the hobby. Yeah. And it's only now you can kind of monetize it.

SPEAKER_00

So, what would you say to someone who feels like they have to fit a mold to succeed? Because I feel like you have done the opposite in such an incredible way. Well, what is success, first of all? Oh, that's such a good question about tournament J.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Well, first of all, what is successful? Um, I that kind of word is kind of a bit triggering for me. When you describe someone as successful, it usually means they're rich.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, so I think to me, success is, and this sounds so cheesy, but like it is happiness in who you are, what you do, but I think also being financially comfortable. I would put that in there. Do you know, like you can have food on the table, a roof over your head? You're not necessarily going and buying Louis Vuitton handbags every second week, but that would be success to me. Like in a job you actually like and had dreamt of and can pay the bills with it, and you're happy in who you write as well. It'd be pretty done-deaf to not mention the financial freedom aspect of it for sure. Um, so what was the question again? So, what would you say to someone who feels like they have to fit a mould to do so?

SPEAKER_01

Like if you could go I think you have to break a mould to be successful these days. Is that controversial to say? I feel like you have to do something different. No, I really like it. If you're just going with the flow every single day, you get forgotten. Yeah. And left behind, even if it comes to a promotion in work.

SPEAKER_00

So you have to shake the ground. I shake the flow around. As of recording this podcast, it's not long after Coachella, right? And I saw someone post about how Justin Bieber at Coachella proved the one point that all businesses and like all creators, everyone needs to take on board in trying to succeed, you know, whatever you want to define success as. And it's literally do the absolute opposite of what everyone else in your field is doing to succeed. Like you look at Sabrina Carpenter, Addison Ray, every other like big cat's eye performance that went on at Coachella this year, and the huge amount of fire dancers that the show that was put on. He came on, stood there with a laptop, YouTube, played YouTube. That was it. And it's called Biebercella. It's Biebercella, it's it's all people are talking. People have stopped talking about Sabrina Carpenter now. And she was headlining as well. I saw one clip, I think, of our pictures. It's all about Justin Bieber for doing the opposite of what everyone else in his in his field is doing. So I think that was something that really stood out to me, and I feel like it's ringing true to what you're saying now. Break the mould, do the opposite of what people in that field are doing, and then you are going to be hopefully more successful in time, and that will stand to you, rather than trying to fit this mold of if we take, for example, influencing the perfect background, the perfect skin, the you know where I'm going with, you know. So I like that.

SPEAKER_01

However, it will be remiss of us not to mention that if you are conventionally fucking knockout beautiful, you will be a successful influencer. Yeah, that is true too. Like the Leah Halton, you know, the most liked TikToker. She's Aussie. She's got like 26 and a half billion likes on her. I'm I'm probably getting that number wrong. Uh it'll be risk remiss for us not to say that if you're the one in 10,000 who is an absolute natural knockout or an or unnatural knockout, yeah, you will also probably be successful. Yeah, that is so true. But I am so grateful, I need to word myself so carefully here. I'm so grateful that my social media has nothing to do with what I look like. Yeah. Thankfully, because it's home stuff, it's like looking at properties, it's talking about budgeting, cost of living. It started out as makeup and then it like went in different tangents, as it's gonna be when you when you grow up or whatever. Um, I'm so glad my social media is not completely focused on what I look like. It's not at all focused on what I look like at all.

SPEAKER_00

It's funny you say that because I obviously haven't mentioned it here, but I've mentioned it on Manny podcast before that that's how my social media started. I don't know if I've had this conversation with you before, but like my Instagram grew from before and after pictures, fitness transformations, becoming a personal trainer. You talked about this on the London trip. Yes. Literally, morning abs, like flexing your bicep, it was all based off my body and aesthetics. So when I started to want to move away from that, the audience I'd built that were there for that, I felt like no longer related, no longer engaged because they were like, Who is this person that's just smiling out with her friends or going for a walk or whatever it is? She's not in short shorts, doing a twist, popping the glutes, flexing a bicep or whatever, it's not what I followed her for. And that's where my mental health issues started and stemmed from and my eating disorder because uh it my page grew from my aesthetic. And even recently, like I don't really post anything based off aesthetics anymore at all. But I posted one video on uh TikTok where I was trying to close. Have you seen that Zara top that like everyone's wearing? It like closes two buttons up here. Yes, and yeah, and you can like your bicep. Even when I was videoing it, because I don't I don't check those things in the mirror anymore, but my bicep kind of did pop out, and I was like, what the fuck is this thing popping out? Like I was a bit amused, and anyway, then I I moved on, I mentioned it on the video, and that has taken off. And there's so many people commenting on my physique, my bicep, my arms, and it is a bit like, oh, isn't that lovely? But then I found myself straight away going into the trap of like like I should post more like that, and then I was like, catch yourself, Nathalie. You've done this. Don't fall into that trap because you do get quicker engagement, uh, I think like followers by building a page of aesthetics I I for some people, yeah. Um, and I think to go against the grain into it without any of that is so admirable and it's more difficult, and you've done that. Thankfully, you've done that. What's something about social media or influencing that people don't realise?

SPEAKER_01

There's gonna be a long dramatic policy. I remember reading this, you sent through the list and I had a quick look through, and I was like, oh I'll answer that off the cuff. I know I'm struggling. Um okay. I can only speak for myself. Yeah, there's not as much it's no, it's not as lucrative as TikTok people doing financial transparency content on TikTok TikTok would say. Yeah. There's a lot of those are in America. And you see some people like, oh 50 grand brand brand deal. Yeah, no, it's not. Where? Yeah, no. We're not paying the bills with one brand deal. Absolutely not. For sure. I think that's the one thing, but I don't know, is that a public perception? Do people think we're rolling in it?

SPEAKER_00

I think they do, and uh like I think people think that influencers have it really easy. Well, we do. And we do, but on one hand, yeah. Yeah, I think there's pros and cons. Like there's always pros and cons. Um I think it's harder than people think, but when you have enough jobs coming in, it's easy. Do you know what I mean? When it's quite, then it's a bit scary. Have you ever turned down opportunities that didn't align with you? You said 30% of them really didn't align.

SPEAKER_01

About yeah, give or take 30%. But what I do struggle with, oh my god, poor Laura. What I do struggle with sometimes is say three ads come in and they want them all posted on the one week. Can't do that.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, can't do that. Really admire that in you because so many people are like, give me as many ads as possible. Whereas you're like, no, I want to have my organic content that like helps people in a different way pop up in between the ads.

SPEAKER_01

I'm sure Andrea does be like, I want to get my butt no, I try and keep it on a at least a two, no, at least a three to one ratio. So for every three pieces of organic content, one ad. It's not always gonna fall that way, but I try to keep it three to one. I will do two to one if I have to. Not that I have to do anything, but if it's something that really aligns with me is really fun or whatever. But I re- I I more say no to the volume in a given week.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, fair.

SPEAKER_01

And then sometimes I'm sitting there going, Oh, there's nothing on the calendar for six weeks.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I was just gonna say you're so blessed to have two or three to want to space out over. But for balance, there might be six weeks where there's nothing coming up. I know, but that's the world of content.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, for sure. And I also struggle with I don't know if this is actually pertains to your question at all. Say I've been working all day on a client's social media. There's only so much creativity I have.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

If I've done three videos for someone, the thoughts of doing a fourth for me, I physically can't. If not physically, I physically could, my brain actually can't think creatively. Yeah, there is such a thing, they say creative juices. Creative juices do exist, and you can deplete those for sure. Do you find that as well?

SPEAKER_00

I was just gonna say I agree with you completely, and I think that's why I've not really done much uh like extra content creation for um businesses or like local brands, because I feel like then I would not have any creative juices left for my own. Even myself, I know when a day comes along where I'm like, oh, I don't have any creative energy. Like it gave me a whole different level of appreciation for artists, uh, but be that like songwriting or be it painting, because creative juices disappear and it you absolutely do get a block. And then I find myself in this trap of comparing myself to other people online who were coming up with All this incredible content. It's it's like anything, you know. Comparison is the thief of joy, as we say. But I feel like online I've had to stop scrolling a lot because there is a direct correlation between the amount of time I scroll and the confidence I have in myself as a creator or just a human creator, a creator, or this is Carla with me, um, or just human in general. I really, really have found that the less I scroll, the better my content is.

SPEAKER_01

I've found a link between how early I pick up my phone and how anxious I am later in the day.

SPEAKER_00

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Obviously, it's anecdotal, guaranteed. If I pick up my phone first thing, I'm going to be ferociously anxious that afternoon.

SPEAKER_00

So do you have boundaries that you set yourself, Laura, to like suppose have a balance between real life and the online world?

SPEAKER_01

Uh some of my nearest and dearest would tell you I have too much balance. But I should be a little bit more structured. Aside from like charging my phone in a separate room, not really. I usually take a pretty chill in the afternoons. I'm most productive in the mornings. I'm up at the crack of dawn. So I'm most productive in the mornings. The afternoons I probably am pretty chill, and then I'm back to the laptop then in the evenings, usually. Uh boundary-wise, I've turned off my DMs. We discussed that earlier, about seven or eight years ago. When I was in the thick of it, I turned off my DMs. Um, just replies to stories. What is the most shocking thing someone's ever said to you in a DM? You value yourself too much.

SPEAKER_00

I don't know if I'd say that's a shocking thing because I think that's people just hating on you. That was a compliment. That was a fucking shocking in a good way.

SPEAKER_01

That was a compliment.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_01

And this was at a time, did you notice how quickly I was able to regurgitate that? Yeah. Because it's the one hate compliment. This is why I love you because I've ever gotten that I've been like, sorry, do you realize that's like something I've been working on for five or six years?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, when you said that, I was a bit confused there. But also I have to question a for that person to think that about another human, type it out and then hit send. I'm like, oh, that's a bit icky. But also, thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00

That's so hard. I love that that's what you remember and the first thing you pick up on. Whereas for me, it's being told that I look like an anorexic 14-year-old boy. That's the first thing that comes into my mind. And is that a very is that one specific message? If you ask me what's the most shocking thing I got sent, it'll be that. When was that? Oh, it was back in the depth of the struggles now. Would have been 2017, 2018. And it was probably one of the first hate messages I got. So it stuck with me. But I never turned my DMs off because I remember being told by someone give me advice on the party. You have to engage with your DMs, you have to respond within a certain amount of time. And do you know what I was also told? When I first started off in this industry, someone came to me and she was like, You need to make friends with other influencers to be successful as an influencer. And be a cow chaser. She gave me a list of names of big Dublin influencers, and she was like, You need to try become their best friend. And I was like, What? Like, I think that was when I kind of lost faith in myself a little bit as an influencer because I was like, I'm not built for this world, but I let the noise get to me. Whereas that's why I admire you, because you never let that noise get to you.

SPEAKER_01

Well, social climbing is still a big thing as well. You'll often see people sidling up to you and then like, let's make a video together, and then you never hear from them again. Um, that's still a big thing. Look, whatever, do your hustle, do your grind, whatever. Uh that's really crap advice, though.

SPEAKER_00

If you could go back to younger you before you quit the guards, when you were struggling in the guards, and give her one piece of advice for what was to come to deal with everything that's come your way, what would it be?

SPEAKER_01

See, I I want to say take the medicine, but I did. I took the medicine the things the minute things started to get really tough. So I did do that and I quit at the right time as well. So I don't think that first of all, I wouldn't have listened. Interesting. I wouldn't have listened anyway. Um, I don't think there's anything I would say like genuine time machine, go back and say something to her. You got this, you're gonna do great. I think that's what you'd say to her. But then I could become complacent and think things are just gonna fall into place for me, and that might not be the case. I think if you like with the past, not to go too woo-woo, but there's like the butterfly effect. I think I love your woo-iness. I love my woo-woo. Do you do you do cinnamon?

SPEAKER_00

Laura, Laura, right. Hear me out on this. Okay, so I've been doing the cinnamon. Explain what cinnamon is before we go any further.

SPEAKER_01

On the first of the month, there's a magic spell for abundance. Now that can be, it's usually like money, get money flowing into your life. It can be other kinds of abundance, but usually it's about money. You take a little bit of cinnamon in the palm of your hand, you stand at the front door of your residence, be it an apartment or a house, and you blow the cinnamon in through the door while thinking thoughts of abundance. Yeah. Within the first week and a half of me doing it, yeah, I got an 8,000 euro revenue refund. Not even during refund revenue refund season. Just magic. Oh, they just realized.

SPEAKER_00

So I saw you post about this for maybe three or four months before I was like, Do you know what? I'm I'm gonna do it. Um, I think the first time I saw you post it, I was like, you know, when you kind of see something and you go, all right, and then you don't really take it in. And then you'd be like, found a fiver on the ground, won something on a scratch ticket, got a big brand deal, got the return. I was like, okay, I could do with this right now. So I have been doing the teaspoon of cinnamon in my door, and you don't clean it up brand thing, you leave it there for at least 24 hours for the last-you listened. Yes, I have been. Literally taking notes. I've done it, I'd say, every month for the last six months, except this month. I forgot this month, and I've never been more rating myself. Now I have to say, look, I've been fine. Some jobs have come in and stuff, but when I have done it every other month, within that first week, a job comes in out of nowhere that I'm like, oh my god, this was the cinnamon magic spell. It works. I'm telling you guys, do it.

SPEAKER_01

There's something to it. I'm gonna give you a Natalie Natalie's podcast exclusive other spell now in a second. There's one month I missed the cinnamon, three speeding fines. Make that make sense. Never in 20 years have I.

SPEAKER_00

Now I have the fear I'm gonna get a speeding fine this month.

SPEAKER_01

Not good. Never have I ever gotten a speeding fine in my 22 years of driving, but in the one month I didn't do cinnamon, I got three. Now, luckily or unluckily for my brother, he was the one driving my car at the time. He was home from China. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00

So he took the fines, but still, I'm gonna go and add this to the first of my month on Google Calendar so it pops up every month because I actually do believe in it. Like, I'll never forget the first time I did it, Laura. I got the email that day for a random job for like a decent amount, and I was like, oh my god, cinewin. It works for sure. What's the other one?

SPEAKER_01

The other one, I haven't shared this one. I probably won't share it, I'll just share it here. So there's this one I found on TikTok. Yeah, there's a song called Ring My Bell. Are you familiar with it? I'm harmonising.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Ring Mala. If you it's about eight minutes, no, it's eight minutes and four seconds long. It's not about eight minutes, it's eight minutes long. Play it every single morning, have a little boogie. I usually just play it first thing when I'm walking my dogs in the morning. I'll like shake my hips, I'll have a little bit of a boogie on my walk. It sets your vibration for the day for abundance. I swear that's kind of added a little bit of a sprinkler set my top time.

SPEAKER_00

It's like the frequencies of the music sort of vibe. And apparently moving on up by Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Moving on up. M people? Think so. We canceled now. Yeah. No, I think it's M people. I know that's the one. Apparently that one's kind of uh raises your vibration too, but I know the ring my bell one is like I'm gonna do that.

SPEAKER_00

I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna play it now on the way home. Absolutely. Um towards the end of this episode, Laura, your ground shaking confession. Can you confess to us something you've done that really shook things up in your life, big or small? We've probably spoke through them, but is there anything that we haven't mentioned?

SPEAKER_01

I don't know, is this is this classed as a confession? This is one of the most difficult things I've ever done. And I'd be very naive to think this wouldn't make it back to the person, but sure luck, it's for the greater good. Amy, we're stirring up the tea. I was in the middle of buying a house with someone. There was one more bank statement that had to be submitted. Someone, it was my ex.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, okay. And my ex came to me and was like So one thing that I suppose we never spoke about was anything relationship or dating, you know, related. Yeah. Because I guess I don't see a whole lot of it, you know, on your profile. And rightly so. We'll be here for another hour. We'll save that for the next season.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, for sure. So we were in the middle of buying a house, we'd offer I'd offer on a house, and then it was time to submit all the paperwork, all the bank statements. Actually, a bit easier back then, way back then. And there was one bank statement that I hadn't submitted yet. It was like my credit union savings or whatever. I remember my ex at the time, I remember exactly where I was sitting. He walked in, he's like, Is there a reason you're not sharing this statement? Do you have like hidden debt? Is there something going on? Do these savings not exist? Why are you not sharing this statement? I turned around on my creaky ass swivel chair and I said, I don't think we should buy a house together. In fact, I don't think we should even be together anymore.

SPEAKER_00

How long are you together again?

SPEAKER_01

Six or seven years, maybe eight, something like that. My jaw just hit the floor. Yeah, a long time about to buy a house together. And in that moment, I really understood why people settle the right word, or like go with the status quo and continue with maybe a weddingslash marriage, buying a house, having kids, because it's easier to stay on track with that than to say, hang on, can't do this, having to put a stop to it. And I wonder subconsciously, was I holding back that statement knowing, oh, I have to have to pull the plug on this. Really glad we didn't end up. Actually, we probably could have made a few bob on that house. So maybe we should have bought the house together.

SPEAKER_00

Up until that moment, he was oblivious to the fact that something could have been wrong in.

SPEAKER_01

I did blindside him. I okay I didn't think I did. I thought the writing was on the wall, it was very clear for both of us. He was he was pretty shell-shocked. And and just to be clear, I have no bad feelings to him. People are very quick to like shit on their ex. He was he was and is an like amazing person, he just wasn't my person.

SPEAKER_00

But I think that is definitely something that shakes the ground. That shakes the ground. That is a ground shaking confession for sure. Because too many people, you know, previously in the dating games, we would have spoken about that. How too many people uh do settle. And I've often said there's a difference between settling and settling down. And I think that's powerful. It's good, isn't it? I think too many people settle. It's obviously it's okay to settle down with the right person, but too many people just settle because it's the path or it's too late in life to move on. How could I be single again? Exactly. Yeah, and you're just kind of afraid of that judgment. But this is why you are just the perfect guest on Shake the Ground because you're not afraid to do so. Um, I love that. Okay, we're gonna finish this off with a little quick fire. Okay. Are you ready? Did I read these?

unknown

No.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, okay. Ha ha! Ah, they're not that bad. Um but we we want to just fire them out with me, okay? Don't think about it too long. There's only a few. Be early or always late. Or late. Knew it. Text back straight away or leave it for hours.

SPEAKER_01

Straight away, because if because if I don't, then it'll you'll never get a reply. Next. Biggest red flag in a person. Talking badly about other people. What are you saying about me to them? Love it.

SPEAKER_00

One thing you judge people for instantly. This is gonna make me self-conscious.

SPEAKER_01

It would be nothing, sorry I know it's supposed to be quick fire, it'd be nothing aesthetically. Uh people judge people for instantly.

SPEAKER_00

Being rude to a waiter.

SPEAKER_01

I I feel like that's kind of the cliche though, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00

Just to get the creative reduces down here.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, I know, I know, I know. I'm trying to come up with a good one though.

SPEAKER_00

What do I judge people instantly for? So I kind of do have a bit of an aesthetic one here, but I don't know if you call it aesthetic, it's more of an action. People who chew really loudly with their mouth open and talk at the same time. Drives me mad. I do that. I'm I'm I I'd be tri I'd be a trigger for that. I doubt you do it as bad as someone else, I know. Oh really?

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

You get hit in the eye.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, nice! Ooh, better spit. Well, I don't know. I I have to come up with something for this. What do I judge people for instantly we might have to skip this one? Sorry, we might have to do that one. Move on. Yeah, yeah, sorry. Okay, okay. A hill you will die on. Oh, you're gonna hate me for this. Oh shit. I'm scared. Not everyone needs a jeep. Sorry.

SPEAKER_00

I'm just gonna leave. No, to be fair, it's a mini jeep. Yeah, no, yours is like uh like a city jeep. It's like it's the same size as my car. Everyone needs a fucking jeep. I don't need a Jeep. Why does everyone have a Jeep? It's a totally ego thing, isn't it? Yeah. That's a really good one, Laura. I like it.

SPEAKER_01

The way the way that rolled out of my mouth is kind of concerning.

SPEAKER_00

I love how you're like, you're gonna hate me for this. Okay, one habit that changed your life. Charging my phone in a different room at night. I thought you were gonna say cinewin, but yeah, okay. Most embarrassing moment that you still think about.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, this shall come easily. I have loads of embarrassing moments. Oh, how PG is this podcast? I would say go for it. Go for it. No, I can't. No, you can't. No, I actually can't. Oh, now you have to. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. I was being intimate with a close personal friend at the time. This is actually more embarrassing for him than me. Okay. He switched accents to a Californian accent. In the middle? Yeah. He's from like Kildare and suddenly he became a Californian surfer boy. Does he have uh Californian roots?

SPEAKER_00

Was he spending time there?

SPEAKER_01

No, I think he's watching too much American porn.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my god. And did you say to him in the middle? Were you like criteria? What just happened? It was an embarrassing moment that you used to be. It was embarrassing. I was embarrassed for him. But this is what I mean about you. You you just own yourself and who you are in every single moment. I feel like I actually feel like things don't really embarrass you. No, well, I was more embarrassed for him. Like, what's with the switch up? Was that kind of did it kind of go downhill after that?

SPEAKER_01

Um the waves crashed. I think I powered through because I am a soldier.

SPEAKER_00

I hope my mother doesn't listen to me.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god, if my mother listens to this.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, I love it, I love it. No, that was brilliant. Okay, this is going to be your last one. What's your current life era called? Twirling.

SPEAKER_01

Twirling my way through life, trying to figure out what it's all about. And I think that might be the case till the day I die. That's iconic. Twirling. Um, I do see the value in knowing a direction though at the same time.

SPEAKER_00

Nah, I love it, twirling. You're in your twirling era. I love it. Laura Young, you have been such an incredible guest on Shake the Ground. I cannot thank you enough for coming in to do so. I know initially you were like, when I asked you, you were like, Me?

SPEAKER_01

What am I gonna talk about? And I still feel that way. Why would you want to talk?

SPEAKER_00

Why would you hear what I have to say? No, genuinely. After people listen to this, I hope they are so inspired by the confidence that you have because it it just is there in abundance, but in such a beautiful way. Do you know the way like people would say there's a difference between confidence and cockiness? Not of that. Yeah. You have just always like been a light of confidence in a way that inspires me to build the same. So I hope it does that for people listening and gave them a giggle and brings them abundance when they put their sinewin out the front door.

SPEAKER_01

And play is ring my bell.

SPEAKER_00

Play ring my bell. Yeah. We're gonna do that. I think that oh, it we'd have copyright issues, but wouldn't that be like a great intro and outro?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, or we could like no, we can't sing it. No, listen.

SPEAKER_00

No, we won't. Maybe we'll just get a drink in here next time. We do shake it out. Yeah, we have fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Love it.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, Laura, thank you so much. Thank you for having me. And just before we finish up, I want to take a moment to thank our partners at Amplify Podcast Studio. Honestly, having the right team behind you makes all the difference. And Amplify don't just produce podcasts, they build podcasts designed to last. The team in here are absolutely incredible. So if creating something meaningful in this space is on your mind, definitely check them out at Amplify. That's A-M-P-I-F-I dot IE. And that brings us to the end of today's episode. There's so much in this conversation that I think is going to help people build so much confidence. And uh, I hope that lasts long after they finish listening. So if this is something that you enjoyed, if this episode resonated with you, take it as a sign you are more capable, more ready, and more powerful than you think. Until next time, keep trusting yourself, keep pushing past the fear, keep playing ring the bell, keep putting the cinnamon in the front door, and keep shaking.