Give Yourself Permission to Succeed

Mental GPS with Dr. Jana EP 6

 Are you secretly holding yourself back from achieving the life you truly want? In this episode of Mental GPS, Dr. Jana breaks down how your unique upbringing, past training, and internal narrative directly impact your daily drive. You will learn how to identify whether you are subconsciously living someone else's dream, how to overcome the paralyzing fear of judgment from others, and exactly how to finally give yourself the psychological permission you need to move forward and thrive. 

Key Takeaways

• True motivation requires chasing goals that are genuinely yours rather than trying to please other people. 
• Past conditioning or the fear of negative judgment from others can cause people to subconsciously deny themselves permission to succeed. 
• Long term motivation is built by breaking goals down into manageable steps and maintaining daily visibility even when time is tight.

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to drjana.com. Today we're going to talk about motivation. And all of the topics on this podcast are going to start blending together because one affects another, which affects another. So just realize when you start listening to it, you might go, hmm, she said some of that before. That's because it all blends together, right? If you want to change this aspect of our lives, then it's going to have a domino effect on the other aspects of our life. So motivation is really important, is it not? Are we motivated to get better? Are we motivated to have a happier life? Are we motivated to complete our goals, to do the things that are important to us? How are we feeling about that? And are we pushing ourselves? But also are we excited about it? Are we being supportive of ourselves to get through that? So everybody is a little bit different about this. And part of that is your training, your upbringing. You know, there's going to be a big difference between people that have done a lot of organized sports, for instance, versus somebody that has not. Maybe somebody that has been in the military versus somebody that hasn't. Somebody that has been first responder, somebody that hasn't. Somebody that's a teacher versus somebody that works more in a business environment. So all of that is going to influence how you see motivation. However, there are some basics that span across all of the groups. And by the way, I do work with first responders and combat veterans. So if you're that person who needs a mission, that's fine. Get yourself a mission. However, how are you going about the mission? If you're retired or you're in a different position now, you're in a different job, can you have a mission without it being a life and death endeavor? And a lot of times, depending on what people have done from a live for a living, it can take on a different feeling about how to stay motivated. And so I really want you to think about where you're at today in life. What are you doing? What is your job? What who is your support system? And all of that's going to play into how you motivate yourself. So what are some ways you can motivate yourself? Well, first of all, if it's a goal that you really want to accomplish, why do you want to accomplish it? I think so often people take on goals that are somebody else's. I've taught in higher education as a professor since 1995. And all I can say is I met a lot of people that were majoring in this or that because their parents wanted them to. And the tragedy of that is then every day was a burden. And so are you really motivated to do this or are you doing it to please somebody else? And that's that's something you really need to wrestle with. Because if you're doing it to please somebody else, you might want to give it a second thought. I'm not telling you to suck, but I am telling you to think about it. Because especially when we're talking about long-term employment goals, you spend a lot of your life preparing for that. If it isn't something you really want to do, your mind is going to fight you tooth and nail. So maybe you take that step back and go, what do I really want? I have a good friend that was doing something totally different. And what he really wanted to do was teach. And when I said to him, Then why don't you go teach? He's like, Well, I can't because of this and that and the other. I said, Yeah, you can. And he's like, Are you sure? I said, Yeah. And guess what? He's now teaching and he's happy, right? So what is it that you want? Are you living your dream or are you living somebody else's dream? Are you focusing on what's important to you, or are you trying to make others happy? And I know that all kinds of things blend into that. How you were raised, your culture, your background, how your parents think, how your significant other is focusing. But at the end of the day, it is your life. What do you find important? What do you want to do? Because it's going to be very difficult to have motivation if it's not your goal. If it is your goal, break it down into some steps. Who can help you with that goal? Have you put dates on it? Do you know what you're going to have to do to get there? But I think almost as important as all of that, are you going to give yourself permission to succeed? Because so often people are mad at themselves or they're angry at life, and so they won't give themselves permission to succeed. And they get stuck. And you also have to give yourself permission to have that. So, and you might ask yourself, if you aren't giving yourself permission, why not? Okay. Sometimes I've worked with a lot of people, myself included, that came from much poorer backgrounds. And sometimes people would make fun of them. Oh, you're just going to be this college graduate, or you're just going to be this person. You're not going to want to be around us anymore. You're going to feel like you're too good for us. And so people stop sometimes and they go, Well, I guess I can't do that. Sure you can. Because when you're successful, maybe, just maybe, by your life, it gives other people permission to be successful too. You see, a lot of people are stuck, folks. I've worked with I don't know how many people now, so probably in the thousands at this point in my career. And I've seen so many people that are stuck. And they just have to give themselves permission to move forward. And that starts the motivation. You've got to make it something you want. You've got to figure out a plan so it's not so overwhelming. But you also have to be careful what you're saying to yourself. Are you saying, I'm never going to be able to do this anyway? Or are you saying, you know what? I'm going to do this. I don't know how, but I'm going to do this. Are you saying to yourself, yeah, I'm not talented enough, this person, that person, the other person? Or are you saying, you know what? I may not have all of the information that I need, but I'm going to find out. And I'm going to get in touch with people that can help me do this. Years ago, I really want to do this. And then I thought, how am I going to do this? I don't know anything about videotaping stuff. And then this amazing man came into my life and has helped me create a lot of things. You need the right people in your life. You need people that can help you, that can teach you and who believe in whatever it is you're doing. So just because you don't know every aspect of it doesn't mean it should stop you. Keep hunting those connections. You will find them. The doors will open, but commit to it. And when you commit, you're going to be a lot more motivated and you're going to stay motivated. And every day check in on your progress and go, how'd I do on that today? I didn't work on it. Okay. What day this week am I going to work on that? Keep it in front of you every day. Even if you don't do anything on it, keep it in front of you because then time and space is going to open up for you to be able to do that. That's how motivation happens and stays long term. But you got to work with your own brain because if you don't work with your own brain, your brain's going to fight you at every step. So be a good friend and mentor to yourself. Be a good parent to yourself and believe in yourself. I hope you have a wonderful day. You have the ability to have a wonderful life and you have the right to have a happy life. But you have to create it. So I hope you create it. Take that step today. Take care.