Connecting with SuperKate: Exhausted, overwhelmed, but still believing change is possible.
You keep telling yourself you’re fine.
You answer the emails, talk to the teacher, get the dog to the vet — all while holding everyone else’s emotions together and promising them it’s going to be okay. No one questions it because you’ve been doing it so long the anxious stomach flutter and tight shoulders have become your baseline.
At the end of the day you collapse and scroll. The animal videos seem to quiet the nagging internal voice, until the news reminds you how bad things are and you go back to thinking you’re not doing enough. So you keep adding things to all the lists you have to feel like you’re being productive. You tell yourself you’ll figure it out next week. And next week comes and goes.
You’re not broken. You’re exhausted on a level you can’t quite explain — and somewhere underneath it all, you know something has to change. It was all supposed to be better than this, right?
I’m SuperKate, your somatic life coach. I’ve been that person, hoping that if I just kept telling myself “it’s fine” then it would eventually come true — even though my body never believed it. Connecting with SuperKate is where working moms, female entrepreneurs, and women caregivers come to feel better — one small shift at a time.
You don’t have to have it figured out. Neither did I. But I’ve got you.
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Connecting with SuperKate: Exhausted, overwhelmed, but still believing change is possible.
The Fixed Mindset You Don’t Know You Have….And My Struggle with Color
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You think you have a growth mindset. But what if fixed mindset is hiding in your identity, your habits, and the armor you've been wearing so long you forgot it was armor?
In this episode SuperKate traces three unexpected layers of fixed mindset — knowledge, identity, and appearance — and how each one was connected to her nervous system. Plus why she's been wearing black for thirty years and what happens when she gets curious about color.
Fixed mindset isn't a failure. It's just the next place to get curious.
Share this episode with someone who needs it — and tag SuperKate on socials. Head to the website to explore ways to work together.
New episodes drop every Tuesday.
Join My Inbox Community → https://superkate.myflodesk.com/linkspage
Website → https://thesuperkate.com/
Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/the_superkate
00:00 Chasing Growth Mindset
01:12 Knowledge Scarcity Trap
01:57 Somatic Reset in Real Time
03:04 Rethinking Super Kate
04:14 Redefining Strength Energy
05:06 Appearance as Armor
06:33 Playing With Color
07:34 Curiosity and Next Layers
07:42 Reflection and Farewell
Written and performed by SuperKate
AI support on show notes, captions, and sound tweaks
Over the last few years, I've been surrounding myself with all the personal development, reading all the books, trying to implement 50 things at one time, and honestly not accomplishing anything, any of it, but still determined to learn more. And I thought I was growth mindset all the time. What I was missing were the areas I still had fixed mindsets because it's possible to have both and for them to sometimes be in conflict with each other. Hi, I'm SuperKate, your somatic life coach. Welcome to Connecting with SuperKate, where I give you tactical tools to create connection in your body and mind so you can lead the better life you know is out there. Fixed mindset says this is who I am, this is what I'm capable of, and that's not changing. Growth mindset says everything can be learned, everything can shift. I thought I was firmly in the growth mindset camp. Turns out I had some fixed mindset hiding in places I didn't even think to look. And each time I thought I found that fixed mindset, a new pesky one went one layer deeper. The first layer was my relationship with knowledge, education. I believed I couldn't learn enough. I believed I was perpetually going to fail my clients because of my lack of knowledge. So I filled every gap of my day with podcasts on one and a half to two times the speed. What I know isn't enough, but I bet this other person has the answers. That fixed mindset was connected to our society's messaging that you're not good enough unless you're really productive and everyone likes you. But it was also connected to my nervous system, the fear of scarcity, my business being a failure, feeling my family and the world seeing me as a failure. So I kept it up, constantly consuming, constantly searching for the next answer. One day, I decided to stop listening to podcasts as soon as I woke up in the morning. And my body felt a bit anxious about that. But it was as if I had given it permission to relax and it calmed down really quickly. Like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. A few weeks later, I was in the car and I listened to a podcast at normal speed. I could feel my body getting anxious. Super Kate, you can listen to information faster than this. Why are you slowing it down? But instead of listening to that voice, I took some deep breaths. I focused on how my hands felt on the steering wheel, and I relaxed my shoulders and low back. I recognized the anxious feelings, met them with patience, and let them move through me. Within a couple minutes, I was comfortable listening at normal speed, as if this is a normal conversation. Okay, took care of that later. But as I said before, there was another one waiting. As my personal exploration increased, I noticed a new area where I felt very fixed. My identity. I was given the nickname Super Kate almost 30 years ago. The name makes me unique. I stand out. I like that feeling. And I have tied a lot of expectations to that name. My name is Superkate. I have to be super. So I stepped back and thought, what if I'm not Super Kate? What if I go by Kate again? Immediately my body said, no. What if I just go by SK? Okay, my body relaxed with that. I'd be happy with that. So what is coming up when I hear Super Kate? And I thought on this for a few weeks, and it really came down to the expectations I had for myself with that name, and the expectations I assumed others had for me. Those expectations were very masculine-driven, never stop working. Make sure you take care of everyone's needs. Don't rely on anyone. You can sleep when you're dead, type energy. And that was exhausting, right? I asked myself, what if superkate stands for something different now? Like calm, grounded strength? What if my energy is more like that gorgeous tall oak out in the yard? Does that make me any less super? Does that make me any less of a person? Does that actually represent more of the energy I want to foster and bring into the world? Yeah. So while I still occasionally hear wisps of, you're super Kate, do it all, don't stop. I regularly check in with how I'm cultivating a different side of my identity, my energy, my presence. And it's exciting. All right, identity layer down. But there was one more that snuck up on me appearance. For a couple decades, I had really long locks. I loved that hair, but it unfortunately just was too heavy for my head. And I needed to cut some of that history out of my life too. I'm six feet tall. And for many years, I only wore big black boots, making me even taller. I've worn all black clothing for almost these 30 years. And that look was a reflection of the communities and the aesthetics of the people I felt safest around. I was wearing my blanket of black because it made me feel safest. And I realized that was a fixed mindset, too. It wasn't about intelligence or talent this time. It was about who I'm allowed to be, what I'm allowed to wear, and how much of my appearance is genuinely me, and how much is and has been armor. Armor that I put on so long ago that I forgot it was armor. Now, don't worry, friends, I'm not ditching my awesome goth exterior. Not yet. I'm not looking for an extreme makeover. The difference is color, any color, honestly, because I've curated my entire clothing collection to be black for my entire adult life. What if I'm drawn to a color? What if there's a shirt or a pair of pants that I'm drawn towards? When my nervous system starts firing around this, and it does, I use the tools I have to calm it down. And on the other side, there is a question that I sit with. Is this resistance around my identity? Or am I just genuinely not interested in that particular shirt? I'm having fun playing around with it. Five years ago, I would never have entertained this. But because of the work I've done with myself, the curiosity I've developed about who I am and who I'm becoming, it's opened up a new level of exploration, a new level of fun. Each layer of fixed mindset I find isn't a failure. It's just the next place to get curious, to play. So, where do you have a fixed mindset around your identity or appearance? And can you move through the uncomfortable feelings around it in order to play with the idea of it being a little different? If you enjoyed this episode, it would be amazing if you shared it with someone who needs this connection or share it on socials and tag me. Head to my website to explore the ways we can work together. And as always, I'm grateful to connect with you.