Pat Schultz - Sober, Seen, and Ready for Takeoff

In this powerful episode, Cat York sits down with Pat Schultz, founder of Ready4Takeoff and contributor to The Rise of Her anthology, to discuss Pat's journey of profound reinvention after 50. Pat courageously traces her path from decades of untreated depression and self-medication with alcohol to finding stability through psychiatric care and sobriety with AA. They delve into the stigma around mental health, the challenges women over 40 face, and how stabilizing one's mental well-being is the essential first step to recovery and transformation.

Pat, a coach, and international speaker, leaves listeners with practical, actionable encouragement: take one small step, ask for help, and keep trying. Links to Pat’s work, where she empowers women to transform fear into courageous action, are available below.

https://www.imready4takeoff.com/

https://bit.ly/4s42gah (Pats Story shared in The Rise Of Her - Stories of Resilience, Reinvention and Rising Strong)

https://www.instagram.com/successcoachpat?igsh=bHdwdWQ5dmtrajNu

Love the conversation?  Want to be a guest? Support the Call Her Cat Podcast mission to redefine the story of addiction and recovery. The easiest way to help is to subscribe on your favorite platform and share this episode with a friend. We always love hearing from our listeners!

Call Her Cat Podcast Links

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Hello, and welcome to the Call Her Cat Podcast, the show where we talk about addiction, recovery, and breaking those generational cycles. I'm your host, Kat York. This is where we get real about the messy, complex, and sometimes absurd truth of what it means to heal. If you're working to redefine your story, searching for a connection that actually gets it, or just need to know you're not the only one who needs a spreadsheet to manage your feelings, you've come to the right place. My mission is to hold space for the raw, honest, and direct stories of people who have walked this path, including mine. We dive into the generational trauma, the personal battles, and the profound lessons we've learned along the way. Sometimes we laugh, sometimes we cry, and sometimes we realize we just spent 10 minutes talking about our newest fancy coffee obsession. It's all part of the process. Today we're joined by Pat Schultz. Pat Schultz is the founder of Ready for Takeoff, the number four, an international speaker, best-selling author, and coach who helps women over 40 transform fear into courageous action. Blending neuroscience and real-life experience, Pat reveals how the brain's fear systems can either limit or launch our dreams. She is a contributing author to the rise of her anthology, a powerful collection of women's reinvention stories that celebrate courage, visibility, and second acts. Through speaking, writing, and coaching, Pat empowers women to rewire limiting beliefs, embrace reinvention, and design their next chapter with confidence, clarity, and bold possibility. To connect more with Pat, please visit her at I'm Ready, the number four, takeoff.com, her LinkedIn profile, which I'll leave in the show notes, as well as a link to the rise of her where you can read Pat's story. And just a quick note before we get started: this podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content and discussions are not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, treatment, or therapy. Please always consult with a qualified health professional with any questions about your individual health. If you or someone you know is in crisis, please seek immediate professional help. And with that, I would like to welcome Pat.

SPEAKER_02 2:53

Thank you so much. I'm happy to be here. Thank you. And I'm going to add something to your disclaimer, and my disclaimer is uh, you know, we're going to be talking about addiction and mental health issues, and you know, everybody's story is different. And uh I don't mean to make light of anyone's situation. Um you know, my situation may not be as bad as someone else's, and I want to recognize that uh up front.

SPEAKER_00 3:25

Thank you for that. I think that's important because everybody's journey is different and it's all valid and it's all it all matters. Um and um would you like to start um telling us a little bit about you and your journey?

SPEAKER_02 3:45

I'd be happy to, and I'm going to share that I really thought long and hard about sharing my story in the anthology, The Rise of Her. I've shared my story. I never included the mental health issues, the addiction issues, and I thought, do I really want to disclose that to the world? And of course, it's that stigma that's attached to addiction and mental health issues. And I felt that now was the time. I felt courageous enough to let people know. And I think as we share this, it makes it okay for other people. But I I did have some trepidation in sharing my story, and it really goes back to when I graduated from college, which is when I first started feeling depressed, and I wanted to drop out of college my senior year. Now, back then uh mental health issues were really taboo. If you think they're taboo now, they were really taboo back then, and there wasn't the uh variety of drugs on the market, especially for people in their uh high teens or early 20s. And so there weren't a lot of options, but regardless of the lack of options or the scarcity of options, nobody talked about it, nobody tried to get me any help.

SPEAKER_01 5:30

It was just, you know, well, pull yourself up, graduate, go out and get a job, and of course, that's what I did.

SPEAKER_00 5:39

And and your story was unique in the sense that a lot of what you hear sometimes people being over-medicated. And your story was one where you either couldn't uh doctors couldn't work with you to find the right combination, or from what I heard was you were actually under medicated. Is that correct?

SPEAKER_02 6:03

That is correct. So what happened is I just bumbled through life for about a decade, and when I was out on my own, I went to the doctor and talked about my depression, and that was the beginning of this journey from doctor to doctor, medication to medication. I always talked to my general practitioner. And I believe they were hesitant to prescribe anything with a higher dose than perhaps just the well, let's try this and see if this helps. And I tried everything on the market over that decade, and nothing worked. Nothing worked, and I discovered decades later that the reason none of those worked was that the dosage was so small because again, it wasn't their field of expertise, and nobody suggested that perhaps I should see a psychiatrist who specialized in depression. I just kept going to my GP explaining how I felt, uh, even going to therapists explaining how I felt. And no one suggested, well, maybe you really need to see a psychiatrist who would be able to help you with the medication. So I sort of gave up uh on the medication because it just wasn't doing anything. And the reason was that the dosages were so, so small.

SPEAKER_00 7:49

And you know, I I imagine back when you were seeking help from your GP, there was still, like you said, that stigma that I wonder if it carried over into you know the medical practice. Like it's only for people who have severe mental illness. Not that depression can't be severe, but those who are maybe in psychosis or something. And so I wonder if maybe they're like we didn't take you seriously enough. Would you say sometimes you didn't feel heard when when you were talking?

SPEAKER_02 8:20

Absolutely. I don't think there was an appreciation as to the extent that it was impacting my life. And on the surface, I may have looked like I had it all together. I had a nice job, I was functioning, I was taking care of my son. And so people look at you and they think, well, if you were really, really depressed, you wouldn't be able to do these things. Now, there were times where it was very difficult to get out of bed. And in that particular instance, it was really my son who saved me because he was young and I had to get out of bed to take care of him, get him up, get him to school, take care of his needs. And I am aware that some people who are so depressed cannot do that. For me, I I was able to use that as the motivation to drag myself out of bed. But yes, on the surface, I looked like I was functioning. And perhaps I didn't know how to explain how much it was impacting my life, but it was, especially the quality of life. I was surviving, I was functioning. There was really no quality of life.

SPEAKER_00 9:34

And I think that's an important distinction. You're not just, you don't, you were, you were really, it was taking all you had to get through most days to be a mother, to work, to be a wife. And so at the end of the day, you were not only doing all those things, but battling severe depression. And so, where did where did alcohol come in for you?

SPEAKER_02 9:56

As so, like many people, I tried to self-medicate. The medication, the prescriptions weren't working, and I discovered that alcohol actually made me feel better. And of course, that's the the illusion of alcohol. You know, you you think it's making you feel better, and it may for a very short period of time, but it really makes it worse for you. And then, of course, you drink more to make yourself feel better, and you do for a little while, and then you feel worse, and it's just this vicious circle where you're drinking more and more because you're feeling worse and worse. And my understanding is there is a lot of comorbidity, people who have addictions uh and who have mental health issues, because it is a way to self-medicate, make yourself feel better for a short period of time. And that's what I was doing. I was self-medicating myself, and um the alcohol seemed to do the trick until it didn't, and you'll probably hear that in many rooms of AA that uh the alcohol worked until it didn't.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

Yeah, it can have uh it can make you feel good, and there's this awful rebound effect. Um it's a temporary relief from debilitating symptoms that depression can bring or anxiety, but then what one drink did you now need six to do.

SPEAKER_02 11:34

That is correct. And so the one glass of wine turns into two glasses of wine to a half a bottle, a bottle, or more, and it just keeps going in it's a downward spiral. And it really wasn't until I saw a psychiatrist that I was able to do something about my drinking.

SPEAKER_00 11:59

How how was that moment for you when you met with a psychiatrist, and he or she was like, you're just not on the right dose at all?

SPEAKER_02 12:11

I can picture this scenario. So I moved from Florida back to Ohio with my son after my divorce, and I went to the family doctor, the doctor my mother and my sisters were going to. She was an internist, and apparently I had spiraled down enough that I really didn't look like I was holding it together anymore. And she actually gave me, again, a very low dose, and she admitted, I'm giving you a very low dose to see if this will work. Well, when that low dose didn't work, obviously, and I was even more depressed and presented myself in her office, she was very concerned. She said, You need to see a psychiatrist. I'm not really qualified to deal with this. And she sent me to a psychiatrist, and it was like, Why did I not think of this? Why did nobody think of it? It seemed like such a natural uh referral to make. And I went into the psychiatrist's office, and she is the one who said she looked at my history. I told her what I had taken. She could see the medical history and the dosages, and she said, You're not getting enough medication. That's why nothing has been working for you. And so she recommended a particular medication and prescribed a dosage that was enough that it should make a difference. And then, of course, she monitored it to see if it needed to be increased, which it did. And these were things that would never have happened with the uh general practitioner or an internist. She knew what she was doing, and when she said that, it was like, oh my gosh, you mean for all this time I could have been feeling better if someone had just given me more of the medication. Probably any number of them. I could have been feeling better all this time. So I was extremely hopeful that wow, I finally found someone who knows how to help me deal with this. And it's a great feeling. I I I can picture that scene with the doctor uh when she said, you know, you need to see a psychiatrist. And I remember meeting with the psychiatrist and her saying, you just didn't get a high enough dosage, and we're gonna take care of that. And it was like, Where have you been all my life? And really all my life since I was 20 years old, and here I am 50. That's three decades.

SPEAKER_00 15:17

Yeah, and you know, I hear your story, and you're someone who actually went to the doctor and was seeking help, and there's so many who have a hard enough time going to the doctor to to say, like, depression is real for me, you know, anxiety is real for me, or I just had a baby, I'm struggling with the hormonal changes that come with that, and they won't go back because they don't feel hurt, right? And I think of you continuously going like you know, something's not right, you know, and I think that's a a true testament to your strength to want to find a solution, knowing somewhere inside that you just weren't getting what you needed. You know, and there's a profound point in your book in your book, I'm sorry, the chapter from the book, where you where you speak on you wonder what would have happened had you been able to get the proper interventions uh like before. And that um that's a very tender point, right? Because it's like that's heavy.

SPEAKER_02 16:36

I struggled with that. I I still struggle with it. So in A, there's that saying we do not wish to to we we do not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. I I can't help wonder what my life would have been like if those 30 years between 20 and 50, I had gotten the help that I needed. But I can't dwell there, and rather than looking back and regretting that, which I admit there's that tendency to do, measure it more as to how far I've come versus how much I may have missed. And everything happens for a reason, we're always where we're supposed to be, and maybe my life would not have been any better. I can't help but wonder what it might have been like, but who's to say it would have been better? I'm I'm here where I'm at, and I'm making the most of what I have, and I'm extremely grateful for that. Uh and I I want to acknowledge that there are some people, and and this happened to me too. It is difficult when you are depressed to navigate finding a doctor, finding a psychiatrist, scheduling an appointment. Are they taking new patients? Oh, you can't see them for three months, and you're like on the edge, and you're ready to throw in the towel and say, the heck with this, I'll just be depressed. I mean, the the impact on someone who has mustered up all her strength to make a phone call to a doctor's office and they put you on hold and they can't see you for three months, it's devastating. And who wants to go through that again? You just figure the heck with it.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

It is hard because I don't think it's gotten really any easier andor better. Um the wait times sometimes can be three, four, six months. You know, you think of somebody who's in maybe not a full-blown crisis, but it's just getting through the day with everything they have, right? You know, trying to be a parent, a spouse, uh work a job, and then you're handed you gotta call these numbers, do they take your insurance, the co-pays, the forms? And like, I don't know about you, but when I was at my lowest, like looking at a form to fill out, like throw it away.

SPEAKER_01 19:15

I have a form phobia. I hate to fill out forms. That'll that'll put me into stress and anxiety just looking at the form.

SPEAKER_00 19:24

Exactly. And once you got on the right dosage and combination for yourself, how was how was your journey to sobriety?

SPEAKER_02 19:42

I don't know this for certain, but this is what I think may have happened. I think once my mood started to stabilize a little bit, I could realize the alcoholic spiral I was in. And again, as you'll hear so often in the rooms of AA, I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I woke up one day, hung over, and I got up and I looked in the mirror, and it was like, this is not the life I want. And I had a book of AA meetings, and I decided at that moment that I was going to get dressed and I was going to go to the first available meeting, and I opened the book and I found a meeting, and I decided that that would be the one that I would go to. And I never stopped. That was the beginning, but I think the fog was lifted just enough for me to see the remaining fog I was still in. And that is why I call that my turning point and when healing began, because I think the depression was relying on that alcohol to help. And when the depression was being helped by the medication, and I could feel more in control of my mood, and that wasn't weighing me down so much, it was like getting hit in the face with no, well, now what are we gonna do about this alcohol? Because it sure isn't helping you either, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:32

Because fighting fighting two monsters like that at once is is almost insurmountable for most people, right? Mental health and and sobriety, trying to achieve both at once is you know, and so what I'm hearing from you is once you're able to get a hold, um, get your get your depression more stable, then you could look and see where alcohol fit into your life. And you know what was feeding off of what, like you said, like the alcohol was feeding off the depression, and you could think more rational. Is that correct? Would that be a yes? That is correct.

SPEAKER_02 22:12

Not that you think real rationally when you're an alcoholic, but everything is relative, okay? Everything's relative. And again, I was very fortunate. I was late to that meeting. It was a little bit further away than I thought because I had just moved back from Florida to Ohio and I saw this meeting, and I thought, okay, I can get there by 10 o'clock. And it was a women's women's meeting. And I was late, and I remember walking in. The meeting had already started, and I saw all these women, and I thought, oh wow, I want to be like them. They all seem so happy. And I had a very good experience with Alcoholics Anonymous. I had a good experience with my uh first sponsor, and it's just been a blessing ever since. But as you work the steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, you can see what the alcohol was doing, and you can also understand its relationship to the depression.

SPEAKER_00 23:17

Yeah. Because Alcoholics Anonymous is a big proponent to handle your mental health. It's not at all trying to be a substitute. It never and it never tries to, you know, say, don't get help, don't get help. Um and how did that feel for you when you went into your first meeting, which is a woman's meeting? And like not only to want what they had, but to maybe not feel so alone.

SPEAKER_02 23:49

I cried the whole meeting, and I think it was crying of exhaustion and relief, and that there might just be hope for me. I mean, it walked into this church parlor, and there's all these ladies, and some are knitting. It was like a tea. All they needed were the teacups, and I thought, man, this is really great. But I cried the whole meeting, and I did get a sponsor by the end of that meeting. And it it was this is something I can do that's gonna help me, and there's a tremendous amount of hope and relief in that. Not understanding why, there's a lot of faith. It's just like meeting with a psychiatrist. Here's somebody who can help me. And I put my faith in her, and it's so interesting because the prescription she prescribed for me, that medication, is the same thing, the evolution of it is the same thing I'm taking today, and it's just amazing. I I haven't strayed far from the formula that she came up with 20 some years ago.

SPEAKER_00 25:08

When you were listening to the women speak at that meeting, did you hear like bits of you like resonate on like what they were sharing or what they were saying?

SPEAKER_02 25:22

That particular meeting is a total blur, but one of the things I have noticed whenever I would go to an AA meeting, I really I don't want to say loved, but I really did love the stories, the the leads that people gave. And I would see myself so many times in their stories. What I think is important though, is even if somebody's story is very different from mine, what they were feeling is exactly what I was feeling, and we all come from different backgrounds, we might have a different story, they may have gone through things that I never went through, right? But the way she felt was exactly the way I felt as a result of the drinking, and that's what always hit home, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

Because and sometimes I want I want to say it, it can be very intimidating as someone who's new to sobriety to walk into a first AA meeting. Um, you know, the the feelings of you know, shame or guilt or anxiety, or you know, I don't want anybody to see me, I'm gonna sit in the background. Um you know, and and you put you highlighted something that I think is important, and that was crying, you know, that release of letting it out. Um because I think so often in society when somebody cries, we panic. Right? Oh my god, stop crying, like you can't, you know. And how pathartic was it for you just to be able to be in a place surrounded by other women and just be able to cry?

SPEAKER_02 27:18

And all they did was let me cry and give me a hug and support me, and that is the greatest feeling in the world just that support to know I'm gonna be okay. I have the possibility of being okay, they're okay, and if they can do it, maybe there's hope for me. And it was very cathartic. I cried, I cried that whole that whole meeting. I don't even remember the meeting, the meeting was a blur. But I walked out of there with a sponsor, with a big book, and with hope.

SPEAKER_00 28:05

And that's I think sometimes this AA is a big program and and you're not gonna get it all in one meeting or ten meetings. It's gonna it's it takes a lot. But you I like what you said that you walked out with hope.

SPEAKER_02 28:18

You know, and if as long as you have hope and faith that there can be something on the other side of this, you know, you'll keep trying, you'll keep coming back, as long as you don't feel alone, you know, because and you do feel very alone when you're depressed, when you're drinking, you do feel very alone. And and I don't know if it was my upbringing, but I'm one of those people, I like to follow the rules.

SPEAKER_01 28:45

Maybe it's my Catholic upbringing, I don't know what it is, but I went to the psychiatrist, she said, This is what you do, that's what I do. I went to the AA meeting, they say this is what you do, so that's what I did.

SPEAKER_02 29:01

And so I thought to myself, in in each of those instances, they're giving me something to do, they're they're telling me what's gonna be done, and I'm going to put my faith in them that if I do that, there's hope for me. I'm not gonna try to outsmart them. I'm gonna just, okay, you're the doctor, this is what you're saying. I'm gonna believe that it's the answer for me, and I'm gonna follow the program, whether it's from the doctor or for AA.

SPEAKER_00 29:40

Do you think that there's a heavier stigma attached to women over 40 who are seeking sobriety?

SPEAKER_02 29:54

I think women over 40 carry a heavy burden. We are judged, we are judged, first of all, much more than men are. And we're judged by our outward appearance, and so things that affect our outward appearance, we're going to be judged more heavily. And when you get to be 40 or older, there's this expectation you've got things all together, and to admit that it's all been uh an illusion, that it's been smoke and mirrors that I'm holding this all together, and it's been going on for a long time, and I really need help. First of all, I I think it's very difficult for someone to acknowledge that. My gosh, everybody else has got their life together, and look at me. And who wants to admit to their peers that I I've been faking it all this time and I'm I'm holding it together with rubber bands and they're ready to snap. Nobody wants to admit that.

SPEAKER_00 31:16

And is that was that um was that a push for you to become a speaker to help women?

SPEAKER_02 31:29

Yes, and it was the motivation for sharing any part of my story. Women over 40 often think that life has passed them by and it's too late to do anything, and my life sort of in a way started at 53 when I got sober and when I got on this antidepressant medication, and it was a gift, and although I could say, wow, you know, I got a bum deal all those years, you know, were wasted. You can't focus on that, you have to focus on the present and what you can do with the gift that you've now been given. So at 53, I got sober. At 59, when a lot of people are thinking about retirement, I started my own business. And of course, like many people, I should have done that a long time ago, starting my own business. I started my own business. And then at 67, I flew out from Cleveland, Ohio to Palm Springs, California to attend a transformational speakers summit because I wanted to be a transformational speaker from stage. And here's what goes through an older woman's mind. I want to go to this, but I'm too old. I'm 67. Nobody's gonna care what I think. I'm too fat. I gotta lose 20 pounds before I get up on that stage. What am I gonna wear? And all these things, it's gonna be a lot of money. I'm flying all the way out there. But I went, and you know, when I got there, I wasn't the oldest one, I wasn't the only one with a little bit of gray hair, and I wasn't the only one who could lose a few pounds, okay? But all these things are going through my mind because those women were judged so much by these outward appearances. I went, I got up on stage, I told my story, and I actually hired a speaking coach to help me learn to be a better speaker and how to relate my story so that it would have a greater impact on the people who heard it. And I still compete with the young, beautiful women who also share their stories, but I admire them for their guts because when I was their age, I would not have been able to do that, and good for them. I find though that when I do share my story, women relate to it, and not just older women, but younger women because they're feeling the same things. Because we're all women and we're all in this position, whether it's addiction, whether it's imposter syndrome in our professional lives, whether it's a mental health issue. And uh you'd be surprised how many people struggle. And I want to be able to help them in a way to see that it's okay and there's hope. And I'm out there doing stuff at my age, and I think one of the greatest compliments I ever received after a presentation, a young woman came up to me and she said, I want to be like you when I'm your age. I I overlooked the at your age part, okay. Her heart was in the right place, and I took it for what it was worth. But that is a huge compliment to be able to inspire someone that if you start now, you're gonna be able to make your dreams come true, regardless of what your your history has been. And it can be very defeating when you're facing these challenges because they're challenges that other people don't have. Oh yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 36:08

But you didn't. You said, I'm gonna, I I I you know, I know I know it took time, but you got sober, you got your mental health, you know, in a stable place, and then you know, you built, you know, ready for takeoff, which I think is a great name. Um you know, and you showed that you can start at any age, really. Your life doesn't end at 40 because you're not a millionaire, right? And I think that's beautiful because I think what you're saying is the message that women often receive is after 40, you know, you're you're done. You know, gray hair, you're a little overweight, and you in your own way are you's shattering that that that stigma that you have to look a certain way or be a certain age. But when you when when I hear from someone who's lived the amount of life that you've lived, there's a lot of lessons to be learned there. You know? And I think it's beautiful that you're taking these lessons and you're trying to help women move forward in their life. Right? And what is it what does it mean for you now to be on have like the roles reversed where you're the women kind of in the AA room, seeing women transform?

SPEAKER_02 37:40

Repeat that question again. I'm the woman in the AA room, and I'm seeing women transform.

SPEAKER_00 37:46

What does it mean to have the roles reversed? Like you're not you're not now the newcomer walking.

SPEAKER_02 37:52

Oh, oh, I see what you're saying. Yes. So you don't realize how shattered you look when you first enter an AA room. And I remember early on people saying, Pat, you look so much better than you did when you first came in. Your skin is clearer, you know, you look happier. We don't realize the the physical toll that drinking takes on us. And so when I see uh a newcomer in the AA rooms, or even at a networking event that I'm speaking at, and a young person approaches you, they're in a very fragile state. And it took courage for them to come to where they are and to approach you. And we need to recognize how fragile they are in that moment and give them the support that was that that we received and that they so badly need. And it is a wonderful feeling to be able to know that I can be of service to someone and that I can make a positive impact in their life. I remember, perhaps not their names, but I remember the women who reached out to me, and I'm forever grateful. I'm I'm grateful for that psychiatrist for that internist. I'm grateful for the mentors in my life. I'm grateful for the coaches that I hired to help me get better at the things that I wanted to do. And there are all these people who gave of themselves to help me be a better person, and what a wonderful feeling to know that I can now reciprocate. I mean, that's like icing on the cake.

SPEAKER_00 40:00

What is what is next for you? Is there anything that you haven't accomplished that you'd like to accomplish?

SPEAKER_02 40:07

Well, yes. So I have a solo book that just was released in digital format called Does Your Bucket List Have a Hole in It? And it will be released in paperback on March 24th. I have a TV show called Fearless After 40, but I haven't recorded any sessions yet, and so I need to start recording those sessions. And one of my dreams is to have uh a TED talk. I really want to be able to do a TED X talk. Doesn't have to be the TED, it could be the TED X talk, but I really uh have a dream to do that as well, and you know, renting a chateau in France for a month, that would be nice, or a villa in Italy, that would be nice too. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 41:06

Just putting it out into the universe, just putting it out into the universe. I can't blame you because both of those options sound equally lovely. Um and I would not mind either of those myself. Um one thing I I I am curious about because you are a mom. Um what was it like for you as a mom to have your son see you sober and to see you accomplish all these things?

SPEAKER_02 41:41

Well, he's very proud of me. In fact, he was so excited when he found out that I was going to AA, he started telling everybody so much for anonymity, all right? I said, oops, you know, you're not supposed to be, but he was overjoyed. He was overjoyed. Um, and he he does tell me that he's proud of me, and I want to be a role model for him, that no matter what life throws at you, you you can still meet the challenge, and you can still go after your dreams, and to think that things are always possible, and to believe in yourself, and I want to show him by the way that I live so that that can become the way that he lives.

SPEAKER_00 42:34

I love that. What would you say to to say to someone who's who's struggling, be it with uh mental health or um addiction? What would you say to someone who's just like really just in the place that you were?

SPEAKER_02 42:59

And and again, this is the caveat, you know, uh in if somebody is really, really in a in a a depressed state, it could be difficult. If somehow you can drag yourself somewhere to get the help you need, do it. If somehow you could reach out to someone who could help drag you, if you don't think that you have the energy, if there's someone you could reach out to who would would help drag you to where you need to go. And I realize how difficult that is because you just don't want to do anything, you just don't want to get out of bed, you don't want to go out the door. I mean, even today I laugh. One of the books I'm gonna write is 101 Reasons Not to Leave the House. You know, I can come up with all kinds of reasons why. I'm not going out today. All right. But you know, someone who is really, really depressed, that that's monumental. But you're not going to get better staying where you are. And somehow, some way you have to figure out a way to get to someone or someplace that can help you. And one of the little tricks that I I still play with myself is okay, I'm only going to do one step. So I'm only, I'm only going to get out of bed. All right, I'm out of bed. All right, I'm only going to get dressed. And I get dressed. I'm only going to eat breakfast. I'm only going to get in my car. And then if I feel like I want to take the next step, I'll take the next step. But to tell yourself I'm going to get up, get dressed, go to the doctor, do that, it's too much. So I say, all right, I'm just going to do the one step. And then if I feel like I'm ready to take the next step, I'll do that. And if I'm ready to take the step after that, then I'll do that. Maybe I'll call someone and leave a message. Could you call me back? I really need somebody to talk to. I actually asked a friend if she would just call me every day in the morning. I said, you don't even have to say anything. I just need to know that somebody knows I'm alive. I said, I just need you to call. She did not understand, but she was a good friend. She'd call me every morning just so I knew somebody was touching base with me. So a lot of times these things are difficult to figure out when you're feeling so down and you're you're mired in addiction or mental health issues. But if somehow you can muster up the energy just to take one little step and then see if you're ready for the next one.

SPEAKER_00 45:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:56

But you gotta get to somebody or someplace that can help you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:04

Because you are worth it.

SPEAKER_02 46:07

Yes, they are. And and unfortunately, what happens is that you do that and it doesn't pan out. You get the voicemail, you get the bureaucracy, and that sets you back. Yeah. That sets you back. It's it's not just uh something you can get over easily, but to just keep trying, to just keep trying.

SPEAKER_00 46:33

Because what's on the other side of that could be a whole new life for you.

SPEAKER_02 46:37

And it is a whole new life. It is absolutely positively guaranteed to be a whole new life. You might not be able to see it, but of course it has to be a new life because it's going to be so totally different from what you're used to. Of course it has to be a better life. And it's worth fighting for.

SPEAKER_00 47:02

It is because it's so easy to give up for it, right?

SPEAKER_02 47:05

With all the bureaucracy and the paperwork and just the and it's easier because the challenge is magnified for someone who is struggling with depression or anxiety or an addiction, or all three of them. Right.

SPEAKER_00 47:25

Right. And sometimes what I found is those in in the rooms also struggle with maybe a learning disability. Yes. Yeah. You know, so then you put that on top of everything. And it's like even if you can just get someone to bring you somewhere, you know, then just get to a hospital, get to a doctor's office, wherever. But don't just don't think that's all your life can be. You know. And there's a saying that I love NA, and I hope I say it right. It works if it works if you work it, so you're worth it, so work it. Is that correct?

SPEAKER_02 48:12

Oh, I hadn't heard that extra part. Yes, it works if you work it and you're worth the work.

SPEAKER_00 48:18

Yeah. How cool. I used to love it. And it's true. And it's true. I love that one.

SPEAKER_02 48:24

But you're not feeling worthy at that moment. And so you have to take it on faith, and you have to take it on the fact that all those other people in that room felt the exact same way as you. And look at them now. They felt the exact they all came in wounded, they all came in fragile.

unknown 48:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:46

And we could just as easily go back. So we're all there with you.

SPEAKER_00 48:53

Ten years of sobriety or 20 years of sobriety started with one day.

SPEAKER_02 48:58

And it's always one day at a time.

SPEAKER_00 49:03

Would you like to remind everybody where they can find out more about you?

SPEAKER_02 49:08

Well, you can go to my website, uh www.imreadyfortakeoff, and it's I am ready and then the number four takeoff.com, and I have a newsletter, or they can find me on uh LinkedIn, or uh if they want to uh try one of my anthologies or my books, that would be great too. But uh I think my website's the best and the easiest way to reach out to me because then you can sign up for my newsletter and get in touch with me.

SPEAKER_00 49:43

And I'm gonna put all that in the show notes as well as the link to the anthology of her, which the whole collection is amazing. Um, it's a wonderful. Um I listened to it on Kindle, and it's a wonderful, um, it's a wonderful anthology of women's stories and strength.

SPEAKER_02 50:02

I think it's a beautiful and the trauma that some women have gone through. And uh it's not just addiction and mental health. There are a lot of of uh deep traumas that these women have experienced, and they tell the story of how they were able to work through that trauma and what their life is like today. And I think there's gotta be a story in there that someone can relate to.

SPEAKER_00 50:29

And just a big you know, and just a lot of admiration for the women sharing their stories, including you, because it's not easy to go to those vulnerable places. Um I'm working on my vulnerability. I I saw I saw your vulnerability today and I saw your strength. Um and I want to thank you for sharing your time with me today.

SPEAKER_02 50:52

Um I appreciate the invitation. I I think that I was ready. And you know what they say, when the student is ready, the teacher appears, and I think that I was ready to share this story at the time that I I read about your podcast.

SPEAKER_00 51:09

Well, I'm very happy and very honored that you came and you shared with me today and everybody. Um because I think it's very important to put, you know, to shine a light on women in sobriety in general, and to shine a light on mental health around women as well, too. Um, because it's real. It's it's all very real, it's all very connected. Yes, it is. And I think I thank you for sharing your story and for not giving up when you know it got hard, and for a long time it sounds like it was very hard for you. Um, and I'm happy that you're on the other side of that and now seeing all these beautiful transformations with the women that you're helping, and I think that's lovely. Um, so I wanna I wanna thank you for joining us today. Um, and I want to thank everyone who tuned in and who sticks with me on this journey, and for all the show links and notes and information on today's pod and today's guest, Pat Schultz. You can visit my podbean site at unityyork.podbean.com. You can also connect with me on social media. All the links are in the description. Um, and the best way to support is by hitting the subscribe button and leaving a positive review. And once again, uh check out Pat at I'm Readythnumber 4 takeoff.com. I want to thank everybody, and we will see you on the next one.