"Building Your Community with Overstanders"

" Monday, we learned about the POEM. Today, we identify WHO overstands you and we BUILD intentionally.

 Your real community isn't just people who UNDERSTAND you. They're people who OVERSTAND you.

OVERSTAND = They see your FULL journey. Your power. Your growth. Your becoming. In this action-packed episode,

 Nyomi takes you through 5 powerful exercises:

1. The Overstanders Test - Identify who REALLY sees you (7 questions, 6-10 people)
2. The Underestimators Filter - Release those who don't. Thank them for filtering out.
3. Deepening with Overstanders - Strengthen your real relationships (what do they see? how to deepen?)
4. Building Your Community Intentionally - Create your core circle on purpose
5. Your Community Commitment - Standards, boundaries, action this week

By the end, you'll have:

• A clear list of your REAL community
• Boundaries with underestimators
• Deepened relationships with overstanders
• An intentional community strategy

Your real community OVERSTANDS you. Find them. Celebrate them. Build with them. Connect & share your overstanders list: @TheRealNyomiBanks #Overstanders #RealCommunity #BuildIntentionally #UnderestimatedAndUnstoppable #ReclaimedAndUnashamed

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-season-of-self-love--6003379/support.

"Thank you for spending this time with me on The Season of Self Love. Remember, self-love isn't selfish – it's sacred. You are worthy of the love you so freely give to others.

If today's episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs this reminder. And don't forget to rate and review the show – it helps us reach more beautiful souls.

Connect with me on Instagram @TheRealNyomiBanks and @TheSeasonofSelfLovePodcast
visit theseasonofselflovecom for resources and our downloadable workbook.

Want to be a guest on The Season of Self Love? Send Nyomi Banks a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/171967138753618818df2d7f3

Until Monday – keep choosing YOU.
This is your girl, the goddess Nyomi Banks. Stay in your season."

Elevate Me: Self Discovery App
4-phase self-love journey: meditations, workbooks, coaching chat & journaling.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Monday we talked about the poem about reframing, underestimated as protection. We learned that those who don't see your value aren't for you. So concentrate on those who overstand you. But today we identify on who those people are, and we are building a community intentionally. Because your real community isn't just people who understand you, they're people who overstand you. So let's do the work. Welcome to the Season of September Podcast. I am your host, Naomi Banks and I am so glad that you are here. As we continue to transform in life, so does this podcast. In season five, we're moving differently. More intentional. More action. Less learning. More dooming. Less waiting. More living. This is a space where we don't just talk about stuff love. We practice it. We don't just discuss transformation. We live it. Every episode is an invitation to work with it. I bet today we are real community, those who overstand us. So wherever you are right now, I want you to close your eyes if you can and become. I want you to take a deep breath in. I'll slowly release. I want you to visualize the people in your life who see you. Not partially, but fully. They see your journey, your power, your becoming. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. I want you to say I am surrounded by the people who say. Inhale. Exhale. I will be seeing all. Inhale. Exhale. And I say, I am grateful for those who see my family. I'm a breath in. Release. And when you are ready, gently open your eyes and let's begin. Alright, my beautiful people. If you are new here to the season of Self Love Podcast, it's something we do every Monday and Wednesday just to help get us grounded before we get into the topic at hand. Alright, so Monday, Monday we learned about the poem. Remember the poem? Underestimated is your protection. Those that don't see your value isn't for you. I want you to concentrate on those that understand and overstand you that you estimate it doesn't matter. Your estimation doesn't matter. Your actions, your growth, your ability to come into a room and make the room better. Your intentions, your heart, your spirit, and the words that you possess is your power. Today the key word is overstand. Not just understand, but to overstand. And what does that mean? They see your full picture, they see your full journey. They see your full power. They see your full growth in who you are becoming. Today we are going to identify who those people are, and we're going to build our community with them. All right, so exercise one, the overstanders test. The overstanders test first we do is we identify who our overstanders are, who overstands you. So I want you to grab your journals because we are being honest today. So step one, we're going to define, we're going to define overstand. Overstand means that they see your full journey, your past, your present, and where you're becoming. They know your power and what you've survived and built and transformed. They celebrate your growth without requiring perfection. They hold your vision. They believe in who you are becoming and they don't judge your past. They see it as a part of your strength. They support your present choices, even if they don't understand everything. And they believe in your future. They see your potential. That is overstand. That is overstand. All right, next step two is to answer these overstander questions. For each person in your life, you ask yourself this. Question one, do they know my story? Not just the surface level, but my real journey. And question two, do they see my power? Do they acknowledge what I've survived, what I've built, and what I've overcame? Question three, do they celebrate my growth? Or do they try to keep me small? And then question four, can they hold my vision? Can they hold my vision? Do they believe in who I am becoming? Question five, do they judge my past? Or do they see it as part of my strength? And question six, do they support my choices, even if they don't understand them everything? The next question, question seven. Do they support my future? Do they see my potential? I want you to write down six to ten people in your life, and I want you to answer these seven questions for each one of them. I want you to be honest because I want you to understand that not everyone in your life overstands you. All right? All right, now step three. I want you to circle your overstanders. Now that you have your list, who answer yes to at least five of the seven questions, and I want you to circle those names. Those are your overstanders. Those are your overstanders. Now in exercise two, we're going to talk about your underestimaters, your underestimater filters. Now that we identify who doesn't overstand you, and we get clear about what that means, let's start with step one. Who are your underestimators? I want you to look at your list again. Who answered no to the most of those questions? Who? Who doesn't know your real story, who can't see your power, that tries to keep you small, that can't hold your vision, that judge your past, and doesn't support your choices. They don't believe in your future. Those are your underestimators. Those are your underestimators. Now, step two, I want you to thank them for filtering themselves out. Yes, I said thank them for filtering themselves out. And here's the reframe from Monday's poem that we're going to talk about. Those that don't see your value, they aren't for you. So instead of being hurt that they don't see, that they don't understand you, say this. Say this. Thank you for filtering yourself out. You reveal that you are not my community. That protects me from wasting my time. So now I want you to write down each one of those underestimaters and I want you to thank them. And I want to say, thank you, whatever the person's name is. Like thank you, Roger, for showing me that you don't overstand me. That protects me from giving you energy you don't deserve. Step three. Decide your relationship. For each underestimator, that decide. I want you to decide the distance, limited contact, service level only, no real sharing, and boundary, clear lines about what you discuss. No personal vulnerability will be shared. And then I want you to release, release this relationship is done, you're moving on. So I want you to write it down and be clear about what each underestimator gets from you moving forward. What do they get? Surface level conversation? A full release? What is it that you give your underestimaters? All right, exercise three. We're gonna deepen in with our overstanders. Now we can focus on your real community, your overstanders. So step one, what what we're gonna do? We're gonna, what do they see? That's the question. What do they see? So for each overstander, I want you to write this. I want you to write their name, and you say this name, their name to say Becky. Becky sees me as an amazing life coach. So whatever the name the person is and who they see you as, and what do they see about you? What do they see about you? So I just gave you an example. Sarah sees me as a survivor, a builder, a healer. My partner sees me as a powerful, worthy becoming, and my sister sees the growth in my heart. So when you say this, when you write them down, I want you to be pacific. Write what each overstander actually sees about you. And step two, how can you deepen that? How can you deepen that for each overstander? I want you to ask question one, do they know my full story? If not, can I share more? And question two, do they know my vision? Do they know where I'm going? Question three, am I fully vulnerable with them? Do they see the real me? In question four. Do I celebrate their power too? Is this reciprocal? For each overstander, I want you to write one action. One action with their name. I will share more of the story of them with my vision, be more vulnerable, or celebrate them. So whichever one that you think that you need to do per overstander, then you do that.

SPEAKER_01 11:51

Do one of these actions. Do one of these actions this week, okay?

SPEAKER_02 11:59

Excuse me. Step three, I want you to express gratitude. Express your gratitude. I want you to write a gratitude statement for each overstander. I want you to put their name town, and I want you to thank them for seeing you. Thank them from holding your vision, thank them for celebrating your growth, and thank you for believing in me. Now you don't have to send it, but write it and feel it.

SPEAKER_01 12:26

And exercise for build your community intentionally.

SPEAKER_02 12:33

All right, this is what we're going to talk about in this one. Now we're building your community intentionally, and it's not by accident. This is on purpose. This is on purpose. So step one, your overstander circle. You have your overstander circle, those are your core community. Write their names in a circle. That's if you're a visual person. That's what I do. Write them in your circle. These are the people who see your power. These are the people who hold your vision. These are the people who celebrate your growth. These are the people who support your choices. And these are the people that believe in your future. This is your real community. This is your real community. Alright, the next step, step two. What your community needs from you. Your overstanders need you to what they need your presence, your showing up, your celebration. They're seeing you in their power, your vulnerability, you being real, your loyalty. This is what they need to see, that you showing up for them. This is what they need to see from you. You're reciprocating, that you're giving what you receive. And for each overstander, I want you to write this this week. I will show up for them. Or this week I will celebrate them. Or this week I will be vulnerable with them. Or this week I will give back. So each one of them, I want you to follow through. Step three, attracting more overstanders. Your overstanders attract more overstanders. When you're in a community with people who see you, you naturally attract more people who see you. So I want you to write these intentions down. I attract people who overstand me. People who celebrate my growth. People who believe in my future. I want you to say it out loud and I want you to believe it. Exercise five. Your community commitment. Now that we commit to building this community attentionally, right? Here's step one: your community standards. Write your standards on who gets access to your community. To your community. People, it must be in your inner circle. They must see your power. They must hold your vision. They must celebrate your growth. And they must celebrate your choices. They must believe in your future and be willing to be vulnerable. And give as much as they receive. These are your standards. They are non-negotiable. And step to your community boundaries. Your community boundaries. I want you to write your boundaries down. First of all, I will not give energy to underestimaters. Two, I will defend my past to those who judge it. This is what you will not do. I will not defend my past to those who judge it. Again, this is what I will not do. I will not share my vision with those who can't hold it. I will not waste time on people who can't see my value. Those who cannot accept the crumbs from people who don't overstand me.

SPEAKER_01 16:47

Those are things that you will not do. Step three, your community action.

SPEAKER_02 16:56

So this week, you will deepen with at least one overstander. Share, be vulnerable, celebrate them. Set a boundary with at least one underestimator. Limit that contact. Stop sharing. And three, express gratitude to your overstander. Write it. Say it. Show it. Number four, speak your community intention. Attract more people who see you. Alright. Did y'all get all of that? I know I'm moving fast today. I got a little migraine going on. Alright, so let's close out with these affirmations. All right. And I want you to repeat after me. All right. Repeat after me. I am surrounded by overstanders. People who see my power, my journey, my becoming. I release underestimators with gratitude. They filter themselves out. I'm deepen with my overstander. I celebrate them. I'm vulnerable with them. I build my community intentionally. My real community sees me, all of me. I attract people who overstand me. I am seen. I am valuable. I am celebrated. I am reclaimed. I am unashamed. And I am unstoppable. All right, my beautiful people. All right. All right. All right, my beautiful people. So you just identified your real community, your overstanders, and you're building with intention. You're building with intention. That's the work. That's the power. So next Monday, we're going to go deeper. We're going to claim the power that you've accumulated. Well, for me, it's over 53 years of my living. But what you survived, your transformation in your building. But this week, this week, we're deepening with your overstanders. We're going to release the underestimators and we're going to build your community intentionally. So until Monday, this is your girl, the goddess Naomi Banks, reminding you, your real community, your overstands you. They overstands you. They find them. I want you to find them. I want you to celebrate with them. I want you to build with them. Be good to one another and yourselves. And always keep it sexy. Remember to love yourself first so you can love others well. And remember to watch us on watch me on YouTube. The Selfseason of Self Love is now on YouTube. So subscribe. Video episodes, behind the scenes content, and much more. Again, visit youtube.com slash season of self-love. And remember we have the link in the Instagram button. Have an amazing, amazing day.

unknown 20:00

Have a good one.

SPEAKER_00 20:01

The Season of Self Love is brought to you by Ask Naomi and Elevate Me Self Discovery. Don't just listen. Do the work. Transform your life. For more, visit AskNayomi.com or follow us on Instagram at the Season of Self Love Podcast.