Reclaiming Your Closet: The Feeling Audit

 Monday, we learned THE question: "How does this make me feel?" Today, we do the actual audit. Piece by piece. Item by item. We ask the question. We name the feeling. We release based on FEELING alone. Not logic. Not guilt. Not "should." Just feeling. This is Action Wednesday. This is the work.

 IN THIS EPISODE The Recap:

• The question isn't "Should I keep this?" but "How does this make me feel?"
• Mel Robbins: "If a piece makes you feel small, ashamed, or disconnected, it does not belong in your future."
• Today: Releasing based on FEELING, not logic, guilt, or should.

EXERCISE 1: THE FEELING AUDIT (5 STEPS)
Step 1: Pick the section you inventoried last week (tops, pants, dresses, shoes)
 Step 2: Pull out each item one at a time. Put it on. Look in the mirror.
 Step 3: Ask OUT LOUD: "How does this make me feel?"
 Step 4: Name the SPECIFIC feeling:

• Confident or insecure?
• Grounded or disconnected?
• Beautiful or ashamed?
• Like yourself or like you're pretending?

Step 5: Make the decision based on feeling:

• Feel good/confident/yourself → KEEP IT
• Feel small/ashamed/disconnected → RELEASE IT

That's it. Not "how much I spent." Not "will it fit someday." How does it make me FEEL?

 EXERCISE 2: WRITING THE FEELING RESPONSES Create two columns in your journal: Column 1 - KEEP (What Makes Me Feel Good):

• Item + Feeling (blue sweater = confident)

Column 2 - RELEASE (What Makes Me Feel Bad):

• Item + Feeling + Why you kept it (white dress = uncomfortable = spent money on it)

This shows you the PATTERN. What you've been tolerating. What you've been carrying.

 EXERCISE 3: THE SHOULD VS. FEEL CHECK For items you're struggling with:
 Q1: Am I keeping this because I SHOULD or because it FEELS GOOD?
 Q2: Who says I should? Is it MY rule or somebody else's?
 Q3: What would happen if I let this go? Answer: Nothing. You'd just have one less piece that makes you feel bad. That's a WIN.

THE RESISTANCE TESTS
 Mirror Test: Put it on. Do I feel like myself or like I'm performing? (Performing = Release)

One-Year Test: Have I worn this in the past year? (No = Release)

Today Test: Would I buy this exact item today, knowing what I know about myself NOW? (No = Release)

THE 5 COMMON SHOULD TRAPS
Trap 1: "But it's in perfect condition!" → Doesn't mean it serves YOU. Donate it.
 Trap 2: "But I spent money on it!" → That money is GONE already. Can't get it back by keeping something that makes you feel bad.
Trap 3: "But it's a classic/timeless!" → For WHO? If it doesn't feel good on YOU, it doesn't matter. Trap 4: "But everyone says it looks good on me!" → Great. Then THEY can wear it. YOU wear what makes YOU feel good.
Trap 5: "But I might need it for an event!" → When that event comes, you'll find something that makes you feel AMAZING, not something you settle for.

THE RELEASE RITUAL (3 STEPS)
 Step 1 - Acknowledge: "I kept this because I spent money / thought I should / someone gave it to me."
Step 2 - Thank: "Thank you for the lesson. Thank you for teaching me to honor my feelings."
Step 3 - Release with Love: Put in donation bag. Say: "I release this with love. May it serve someone who feels amazing in it."

WHAT IF MOST OF MY CLOSET DOESN'T FEEL GOOD?
 First: Breathe. That's good information. You've been carrying emotional weight. Now you get to release it.
 Second: You don't have to release it all at once. But you DO have to start. What to do:

• Keep only what makes you feel good (even if it's 5-10 pieces)
• Quality over quantity
• Identify what's actually missing
• Build intentionally moving forward (only bring in items that pass the feeling test)

YOUR COMMITMENT THIS WEEK I commit to:

1. Going through the section I inventoried last week
2. Asking "How does it make me feel?" for EACH item
3. Naming the specific feeling
4. Releasing everything that makes me feel small, ashamed, or disconnected
5. Keeping ONLY what makes me feel grounded, confident, supported
6. Dropping off donations within 48 hours

Say it out loud. Write it down. Make it real. WHAT THIS CREATES
✨ Your closet becomes a sanctuary—every option supports you
✨ Your mornings become easier—you're not fighting yourself
 ✨ Your confidence increases—you're wearing YOUR truth
✨ You learn to trust yourself and your feelings That's RECLAIMED. That's UNASHAMED. That's SELF-LOVE.

NYOMI'S REAL TALK
 "When I saw Mel's post, I had been cleaning out my closet yet again. My closet was STILL full. The coats fell down and I'm like, I have to do something different. At the end of this month, I'm getting a new closet. This is me unblocking something more. Opening up to receiving—growth, opportunity, wisdom, elevation, being UNSTUCK. That money I spent? It's gone already. I can't get it back by keeping something that makes me feel bad. It is more than just the clothing in the closet. It's so much more bigger than that."

CLOSING AFFIRMATION I trust my feelings. My feelings are my guide. I release what makes me feel small. I keep what makes me feel strong. I honor my truth without apology. I am reclaimed. I am unashamed. I am guided by feeling. ACCOUNTABILITY DM Nyomi on Instagram: @TheSeasonofSelfLovePodcast Tell her:

• How many items you released based on feeling
• What you discovered about yourself
• How it feels to only keep what feels good

NEXT EPISODE Monday - Week 3: From Pressure to Possibility Transforming your closet into a space that supports who you're BECOMING.

CONNECT Instagram: @TheSeasonofSelfLovePodcast | @TheRealNyomiBanks
YouTube: @TheSeasonofSelfLove
 Website: AskNyomi.com Credit: Inspired by Mel Robbins' wisdom about closets #ReclaimingYourCloset #ActionWednesday #TheFeelingAudit #SeasonOfSelfLove #Season5 #ReleaseBasedOnFeeling #QualityOverQuantity #ReclaimedAndUnashamed

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Today we asked a question. Not once, not twice, but piece by piece. Item by item. How does it make me feel? And we let the answer guide us. So let's do the work. Hello, my beautiful people, and welcome back to the season of Stuff Love Podcast. Security Guide is Nami Banks, and I am so glad that you are here with me on this action Wednesday. And yeah, on Monday, we talked about the question. The question. How does this make me feel? We talked about the difference between should and feel. We talked about releasing what makes you feel small, the shame, which is connected. But today, today we do the actual audit. We're doing the actual audit. Today we're going to our closet piece by piece. And today we ask the question. And today we let our feelings guide us to the decision. Not the logic, not the guilt, not the should. So grab your journals. You're ready to get in your closet and let's do the work. So let me welcome you properly to the show. Welcome to the Season of Sevilla podcast. I am your host, Naomi Banks, and I am so glad that you are here. As we continue to transform in life, so does this podcast. In season five, we're moving differently. More intentional. More action. Less learning. More doing. Less waiting. And more living. This is a space where we don't just talk about stuff. We practice it. We don't just discuss transformation. We live it. Every episode is an invitation to do the world. Not just listen to me talking about it. This podcast is part of it. Let's get started. Alright, my beautiful people. Before we dive into the work, we are going to ground ourselves with a 60 second guided meditation. So today we are connecting to our feelings. We are connecting to our truth, truths, alright? And to our inner God, alright. So wherever you are right now, if you can just close your eyes, alright? So wherever you are right now, close your eyes if you can and get comfortable. Both of your feet on the floor. Take a deep breath in. Now slowly release. I want you to place one hand on your heart and say quietly to yourself. I trust my feelings. Inhale. Exhale. My feelings and my truth. Inhale. Exhale. I release what doesn't feel good. Inhale. Exhale. I keep what supports me. One more breath in. Release. And say I am guided by how I feel. And when you are ready, gently open your eyes. And let's begin. All right, my beautiful people. If you are new here to the season of Stuffla podcast, it's something we do every episode. It's just to help ground us before we get into the topic here. All right. So let me quickly recap on when on Monday, excuse me, on Monday episode. We learned that the question is not, should I keep this, but how does it make me feel? And what Mel Robbins taught us is that if a piece of clothing, if a piece makes you feel small, ashamed, or disconnected, it does not belong in your future. No, it does not. So today we are putting it into practice. We're going through our closets. We're asking the question and we're releasing based on feeling. We're releasing based on feeling, not logic, not guilt, and not should, but on feeling, all right? But on feeling. All right, so let's talk about the very first exercise, and that's the feeling of it. All right, so here's the exercise. And this one requires you to be honest. It requires you to be honest, brutally honest, all right? So step one, what I want to do is I want you to pick the section that you inventoried last week. I want you to pick the section that you inventoried last week. So I want you to remember week one. You inventoried one section, the tops, the pants, the dress, the shoes, whatever, with however you did it. So today we're going deeper into that same section and we're asking the filling, the filling question for each piece. All right. And step two, we're gonna pull out each item one at a time. All right. Don't just look at it. Just don't look at it, just hanging there. I want you to pull it out and I want you to hold it. I want you to hold it and I want you to put it on if you need to. I want you to put it on. And I believe I said this on Monday. I want you to put it on, and I want you to look at yourself in the mirror with it. I want you to put that on. Because once you put that on, I want you to really feel how that feels. And what I mean is because you can't know how it feels unless you actually engage with it. And then I want you to ask this question out loud to step three. Yes, out loud. How does this outfit make me feel? How does this make me feel? And then I want you to listen to it. Listen to your body, listen to your gut, listen to your heart. And then I want you to name the feeling. Does it just say good? Does it say bad? I want you to get pacific with it. Does it make you feel confident? Does it make you feel insecure, grounded, disconnected, beautiful, ashamed? What does it make you feel? Does it make you feel trapped, supported, restricted? Does it make you feel free? Does it make you feel like you're pretending? Does it make you feel like you like yourself? I want you to name it and say it out loud. And then step five, I want you to make the decision based on the feeling. Because if it makes you feel grounded and confident and supported, if it makes you feel like yourself, then keep it. And then if it makes you smell feel small, if it makes you feel ashamed, disconnected, if it makes you feel insecure, trapped, if it makes you feel like you're pretending, then release it. That's it. That's the decision. Not how much I spent on it, not will it fit someday, not should I, how does it make me feel? And then exercise two writing the filling responses. Because when you go through each one of these items, I want you to write the journal. I want you to create two columns. Column one, column one is to keep what makes me feel good. And for each item that you're choosing to keep, I want you to write the item, whether it's the blue sweater, the blue jeans, the white, the white dress, or whatever it is. And what's the feeling that it gives you? Does it give you confident? Does it give you grounded? Does it give you beautiful? Does it give you myself? And then in column two, the release pal. What makes me feel bad? And for each item that you releasing, write the item and the feeling that it gave you. Did it make you feel small? Did it make you feel ashamed? Did it make you feel disconnected or insecure? And while you were keeping it despite that feeling, why were you keeping it? Was it money? Was it guilt? Or was it should you? And see, this is powerful because you're seeing the pattern. You're seeing what you you've been tolerating, you're seeing what you've been carrying. In a minute, I'm going to explain why all of this is happening. Because I know it might be a lot of people that's listening or even watching on YouTube that scroll by. It's like, why are we talking about the closet? Because it's deeper than the clothes. If you've been listening from week one, that is deeper than the clothes. It's deeper than the closet. Let's go to exercise three. The should versus the feel check. Now, for any item that you're struggling with, I want you to do this check and I want you to ask yourself, am I keeping this because I should, or because it feels good? And if the answer is should, I want you to ask yourself, who says I should? Who says I should? Where did that rule come from? Is it my rule or is it somebody else's? And then I want you to ask, what would happen if I let this go? What would happen if I let this go? Would the world end? Would you be less valuable? Would you be a bad person? I answer that. No, no. No. You just have one less piece of clothing that makes you feel bad. And that's a win. And now let's talk about the resistance. What if I can't tell how it makes me feel? And some of you are going to say, Naomi, I don't know. Naomi, I don't know how it makes me feel. Because I'm so disconnected from my feelings that I can't tell. I get it. I get it. So here is what you should do: a body scan. A body scan. I want you to put the item on. I want you to put the item on. I want you to close your eyes. I want you to scan your body from head to toe. From head to toe. And I want you to feel the tension. Where do you feel relaxed? Where do you feel the tension? Is your jaws clenched? Is your chest tight? Are your shoulders up to your ears? Or is your body relaxed? Is your chest open? Do you feel free? Because your body will tell you. Your body knows. Even when your mind doesn't. Your body knows. And then it's the mirror test. Remember, I said, put it on. Look in the mirror. Put the item on. Stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself. What is your first thought? Not the second. Not the second thought. Well, you talk yourself into it. What is your first thought? And if your first thought is the critical, judgmental, or the negative, that's how it makes you feel. If your first thought is the affirming, confident, or positive, then that's how it makes you feel. And then the would I buy this today test. If you show this, if you saw this exact item in the store today, if you saw this exact item in the store today, knowing what you know about yourself now, would you buy it? If no, then it doesn't belong in your closet. If no, then it doesn't belong in your closet. All right, so now let me call out the common should traps, the should traps that are going to try to stop you. So trap one. But it's in perfect condition. Let me tell you something. I've held on so many things because of that very reason. Because it was in perfect condition. And last week I was so what? Being in perfect condition doesn't mean it serves you. Donate it to someone else that can use it. And that's what I did. I donated it to someone else that can use it. And some of the stuff I've even put it in storage to use to for uh a movie. Trap two. But I spent X amount of money on this. Yeah. That was another one of my things. When I tell you, but let me tell you something, y'all. Let me let me let me stop right there. Let me tell y'all. I'm telling you, when I saw, when I saw that post a few weeks ago from Mel Robinson, I have been cleaning out my closet yet again, yet again, and saw my closet was still full of shit. Like, oh my god. And then the coats that fell down. I'm like, I have to do something different. I have to do something different. There is no way that I'm still holding on to these things like this, and why? And then looking at each one of these pieces, and I knew there was so much more work to do, and it's just so ironic and so aligned that it was just happening now in the beginning of season five. I'm not saying this is what you should do, but for me, it is more than just the items of clothing that's in that closet. This is me unblocking something more. This is me, this is me opening up to receiving something just so much more in my life of growth, of opportunity, of more wisdom, of elevation, of being unstuck. So when I think about how much money I spent, that money is gone already, whether it's in my closet, or whether it's in your closet or not, or at goodwill, it's gone. Or just just just stuck there. But it's a classic, it's timeless pieces. Oh my god. How many of us done that? I'm telling you. I look across the hallway to my mother, and when I tell you she has all items. Then they can wear it then. You wear what makes you feel good. And trap number five, but I might need it for a wedding, or I might need it for a conference or something, or another event. But when that event comes, you'll find something that actually makes you feel amazing and not something that you settle for, not something that you settle for. All right, so for everything that you're releasing based on a feeling, let's create a release ritual, all right? All right, so for everything that you're re-releasing based on a feeling, let's do this. Step one, let's acknowledge what you've kept. Let's acknowledge what you kept. So let's say, I kept this because I spent money on it. I kept this because I thought that I should. I kept this because someone gave it to me. And then I want you to thank you. Thank it. I want you to thank it. I want you to thank you for the lesson. I thank you for teaching me that I don't have to keep things that make me feel bad. I thank you for teaching me to honor my feelings. I thank you for showing me what I don't want. And then I want you to release it with love. Put it in a donation bag and say aloud, I release this with love. I release this with love and may it serve someone who feels amazing in it. And then let it go. Then let it go. And so the next question is what if most of my closet doesn't feel good? Some of you will be going through this audit, and y'all will realize most of my closet. Makes me feel bad. And you know what? That might feel very overwhelming. It might feel very scary. It might make you think, what am I going to wear? First of all, I want you to breathe. Second, that's some good information. That is some great information because this means that you've been carrying a lot of emotional weight. And now you get to release it. Third, you don't have to release it all at once, though. But you do have to start. So here's what you do. Keep only what makes you feel good. Even if that's 10 pieces. Even if it's that five piece pieces, quality over quantity. Quality over quantity. Step two, identify what's missing. What did you actually need? What do you actually need? What will make you feel supported? Not what you think you should have, but what will actually serve you? And step three, build intentionally. Moving forward, you only bring things into your closet that pass that feeling test. How does this make me feel? If it doesn't make you feel amazing, don't buy it. Do not buy it. All right. All right, so here's your commitment for this week. This week I commit. One, I am going through the section that I inventoried last week. Two, asking, how does it make me feel for each item? Then three, I'm naming the Pacific feeling. Four, I'm releasing everything that makes me feel small, ashamed, or disconnected. Five, I'm keeping only what makes me feel grounded, confident, and supported. Six, I'm dropping off donations within 48 hours. And I want you to say it out loud, write it down, and make it real. All right. And here's the accountability. I want you to share that feeling audit results. Actually, you could DM me on Instagram at the Season of Stuff Love Podcast. Or you could tell me how many items that you release based on your feelings, what you discovered about yourself in the process, and how it feels to only keep what feels good. Or you can tell your accountability partner. All right. And what does this do? It creates what this creates. When you release everything that makes you feel bad, you create space for what makes you feel good. What happens is your closet becomes a sanctuary, becomes a place of possibility, a place where every option supports you. So your mornings become easier because you're not fighting yourself. Your confidence increases because you're wearing your truth. And most importantly, you learn to trust yourself. You trust your feelings. To trust that this doesn't feel good is enough reason to let something go. That's unashamed, and that's self-love. Again, it is more than just the clothing in the closet. It's so much more bigger than that. It's so much more bigger than that. And if this is your first time listening to this podcast here on the season of self-love, I invite you to go back and listen to our first week episode one and two. Better yet, go back and listen to our April um series as well. All right. So here's some closing information for you. All right. All right. I want y'all to repeat after me. I trust my feelings. My feelings are my guide. I release what makes me feel small. And I keep what makes me feel strong. I honor my truth without apology. I am reclaimed. I am unashamed. And I am guided by feeling. All right, my beautiful people, that is the work for this week. Ask the question, feel the answer, released based on feeling. And next Monday, we're moving into week three from pressure to possibility, transforming your closet into a space that supports who you're becoming. Now, if this episode has helped you, I want you to share it, leave a review, and DM me your results. I want to celebrate with you. So until next time, this is your girl guidance, Nami Banks, reminding you to be good to one another and yourselves. And I was keep it sexy. Love yourself first so you can live as well. Have an amazing, amazing day. Have a good one.

SPEAKER_00 28:05

The season of self love is brought to you by Ask Naomi and Elevate Me Self Discovery. Don't just listen. Do the work. Transform your life. For more, visit AskMeomi.com or follow us on Instagram at the Season of Self Love Podcast.