The Joy Audit: Reclaiming Pleasure Without Guilt (Action Wednesday)

When was the last time you did something just because it brought you joy? Not because it was productive. Not because it served a purpose. Just because it felt good.

 In this Action Wednesday episode, Nyomi walks you through The Joy Audit—practical exercises to identify where you're blocking joy, release guilt, practice both/and thinking, and add one joyful practice to your daily life. This is about reclaiming pleasure without justification. Bring your journal and get ready to add joy back in.

In This Episode:

• Exercise 1: The Joy Audit (5 questions to identify where joy is blocked)
• Exercise 2: The Guilt Release (reframing each guilt into truth)
• Exercise 3: The Both/And List (claiming all your dreams)
• Exercise 4: Choosing Your Joyful Practice (one daily practice for pure pleasure)
• Nyomi's real joyful practices (altar time, music on set, green bathroom, laughter, podcasting)
• Addressing resistance: "I don't have time" and "What if people judge me?"
• The 7-Day Joy Challenge

The 5 Joy Audit Questions:

1. What brings you joy that you've been apologizing for or minimizing?
2. Where are you feeling guilty about feeling good?
3. What dreams or callings have you been told you need to choose between?
4. What joyful practices have you cut out because they seem "unproductive"?
5. Who are you worried will judge you for pursuing your joy?

The Guilt Release Formula: "I release the guilt about [thing]. The truth is [reframe]." Both/And Examples:

• I can have BOTH a successful career AND a fulfilling personal life
• I can have BOTH creative fulfillment AND financial stability
• I can have BOTH rest AND productivity

Your Joyful Practice: "Every day this week, I will [specific joyful practice] at [specific time]." Examples of Joyful Practices:
 Dance to one song every morning, take a 10-minute bath, read fiction for 15 minutes, light a candle and journal, cook one beautiful meal, paint or create, sing, walk outside, watch the sunset, sit in silence with coffee, stretch, listen to music

The Challenge: Do your joyful practice every day for 7 days. Notice what shifts. Share Your Practice: Instagram: Tag or DM @AskNyomi with "This week, my joyful practice is..."

 Next Episode: Mindset Monday - Week 4: Unashamed Expansion (Being "Too Much" Boldly) Connect with Nyomi:

• Website: AskNyomi.com
• Instagram: @AskNyomi @TheSeasonofSelfLovePodcast
• Tune in: Ask Nyomi Bridging the Gap - Thursdays

Episode Hashtags: #ActionWednesday #SeasonOfSelfLove #UnashamedJoy #JoyAudit #PleasureWithoutGuilt #JoyForJoysSake #AddJoy #DailyJoy

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"Thank you for spending this time with me on The Season of Self Love. Remember, self-love isn't selfish – it's sacred. You are worthy of the love you so freely give to others.

If today's episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs this reminder. And don't forget to rate and review the show – it helps us reach more beautiful souls.

Connect with me on Instagram @TheRealNyomiBanks and @TheSeasonofSelfLovePodcast
visit theseasonofselflovecom for resources and our downloadable workbook.

Want to be a guest on The Season of Self Love? Send Nyomi Banks a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/171967138753618818df2d7f3

Until Monday – keep choosing YOU.
This is your girl, the goddess Nyomi Banks. Stay in your season."

Transcript

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When was the last time you did something just because it brought you joy? Not because it was productive, not because it was useful, not because it served a purpose. Just because it felt good. Well, this is Action Wednesday, and today we are auditing your joy. We're identifying where you've been shrinking it, apologizing for it, and feeling guilty about it. And then we're adding it back in unapologetically. Hey my beautiful people, welcome back to Season of Step Love Podcast. It's your Girldy Goddess, Nami Banks, and I'm so glad that you are here with me on this action Wednesday. And y'all, I'm still riding high from last week's production, still feeling that full circle joy, still grateful for every moment that every person that every dream is coming true. And that's what we're talking about today. Joy. Unashamed joy. So on Monday, I told you about the production week, about bringing back the original cast, about working 15-hour days, about having two dreams running at the same time, the filmmaking and the coaching, and about almost getting lost in one and being reminded of the other. And I told you, you don't have to choose. It's not either or, but it's both end. Well, today we're putting that into practice. Today we're doing a joy audit. We're identifying where you've been blocking your joy, shrinking your pleasure, or apologizing for feeling good. And then we're adding one joyful practice to your daily life. Something that brings you pleasure for pleasure's sake. So grab your journal, get your pen ready, and let's do the work. So let me welcome you properly to the show. Welcome to the Season of Self-Love Podcast, the season of healing intentionally. I am your host, Naomi Banks, and I am so glad that you are here. This season we are slowing down to go deeper. Every Monday and Wednesday, we're creating a space of intentional healing, authentic conversations, and the kind of self-love that transform from the inside out. This podcast is brought to you by Axe Naomi and Elevate Me Self-Discovery, where we believe that loving yourself intentionally is the foundation of true transformation. So whether you're on your own journey of rebirth, navigating life transitions, or simply choosing yourself, this is your safe space. So get comfy, grab your favorite fabric, and let's heal together intentionally because you deserve to embrace that beautiful person that you are. Now let's get started. Alright, my beautiful people, before we dive into today's Joyce Party, we're going to ground ourselves with a 60-second guided meditation. And today we're opening ourselves to receive joy, to welcome pleasure, to release guilt. So wherever you are right now, I want you to close your eyes and get comfortable, alright? Alright, my beautiful souls, wherever you are, whatever you're doing, I want you to just pause with me for a moment. I want you to put both feet on the floor, and I want you to place both hands on your heart. Take a deep breath in and slowly release the smell. I want you to feel that joy in just being alive. And I want you to say quietly to yourself, and I want you to repeat after me I am open to joy. Inhale. Exhale. Now say quietly to yourself. I release the guilt. I release the apology. I release the need to earn my pleasure. I receive joy. I receive pleasure. I receive the fullness of my grace. Now one more breath in. Release. Now say it. I deserve joy for joy's sake. I am unashamed. And when you are ready, gently open your eyes and grab your journal. And let's begin. Alright, my beautiful people. Again, if you're new here to the Season of Self Love Podcast, it's something we do every episode just to ground ourselves before we get into the topic at hand. Alright, so let me quickly recap Monday's episode. So on Monday, I share with you the story of our production uh week. You know, there was a full circle moment of just bringing back the original Chicago cast is over 10, 15 years later, and the joy of just working, you know, 15-hour days on something that I love. You know, the reality of having two dreams running simultaneously, filmmaking and coaching. You know, I told you about almost getting lost in a Hollywood set mindset and how, you know, Dr. Wheel text on Saturday reminded me of my other calling. I almost thought that I had to choose between dreams. And I told you the truth that you don't have to choose, that it's not either or, but it's it's both and your joy doesn't need justification. You don't have to apologize for feeling good, and you don't have to shrink your pleasure to make other people comfortable. You get to have all your dreams, you get to pursue your callings, and you get to live in the fullness of your life unapologetically. So today we're doing the practical work. We're auditing your joy, we're finding where it's blocked, we're releasing the guilt and we're adding it back in. So you ready to do the work? Or let's do the work. All right, so exercise one is called the joy audit, where we are blocking your joy, where where are you blocking your joy? All right, so this is where we identify where you're blocking your joy, where you're shrinking your pleasure, or you're apologizing for feeling good. So, right now I want you to grab your journals if you can, and I'm going to ask you questions. And I want you to write your honest answers. Not what you think you should say, but what's actually true? So, question one: what brings you joy that you've been apologizing for or minimizing? And I want you to think about it. I want you to think about what lights you up that you've been making you smaller. What lights you up that you've been making smaller? And what brings you pleasure that you've been justifying? So maybe it's a hobby that seems um frivolous, or maybe it's the rest that seems lazy, or maybe it's pursuing a dream that seems impractical, or maybe it's spending money on something beautiful, or maybe it's just taking time for yourself. But what brings you joy that you've been apologizing for? I want you to write it down and be pacific about it. All right, now question two Where are you feeling guilty about feeling good? Where? Where in your life are you happy, thriving, or enjoying yourself, but feeling guilty about it? Maybe you're happy in your relationship while your friend is going through a breakup, or maybe you are thriving in your career while others are struggling, or maybe you are enjoying your life while there's pain in the world. But what are your guilt? Where are you feeling guilty for feeling good? Write it down. All right, question three. What dreams or callings have you been told you need to choose between? This is that either or trap where you've been told or told yourself that you can't have both. Maybe it's your career versus your family, maybe it's creative work versus stable income, maybe it's multiple passions versus staying in your lane, or maybe it's personal joy or just being a good person. What are you, where are you operating from? Either or instead, a both end? Write it down. All right, in question four. What joyful practices have you cut out of your life because they seem unproductive? What joyful practices have you cut out of your life because they seem unproductive? I want you to think about what you used to do that brought you joy. What did you stop doing because it didn't serve a practical purpose? Maybe you used to dance, maybe you used to paint, or you used to take long walks, or maybe you used to just read for pleasure. Maybe you used to cook elaborate meals, maybe you used to sing. What joyful practice did you abandon because they weren't productive enough? I want you to write it down. And question five. Who are you worried will judge you for pursuing your joy? Who are you worried will judge you for pursuing your joy? And I want you to be honest. Whose opinion are you shrinking for? Whose comfort are you prioritizing over your own joy? Maybe it's your parents, maybe it's your friends, maybe it's your partner, your husband, your wife, maybe it's society, maybe it's an imaginary audience in your head. Who are you worried will judge you? Write it down. Now I want you to look at the list. I want you to look at your list, and I want you to really look at it. This is your joy audit. This is where your joy is being blocked. This is where the guilt, this is where the shame, this is where the feel, this the fear is stilling your joy. And now, now we're gonna dress it all. All right, all right, so here's exercise two. Now we're going to take each item from your joy audit and we're gonna reframe it. We're going to release the guilt and we're gonna reclaim the joy. This is what we're gonna do again. We're gonna reframe it. We're going to release the guilt and we're going to reclaim the joy. I'm going to give you a formula for each thing you wrote down. And I want you to complete this sentence. I release the guilt about the thing, whatever it is, and the truth is whatever you reframe it as. So let me give you an example. Guilt. I feel guilty about being happy in my relationship with my friend when my friend is going through a breakup. All right, that's my guilt. Now, I release the guilt about being happy in my relationship. The truth is, my happiness doesn't diminish her pain. I can hold space for her struggle and honor my joy. Both can exist. Does that make sense? So here's another guilt. I feel guilty about pursuing my creative dream because it seems impractical. This is my next example. I feel guilty. I feel guilty about pursuit pursuing my creative dream because it seems impractical. But now I'm going to release it. Here's my release. I release the guilt about pursuing my creative dream. Because the truth is, joy doesn't have to be practical to be valid. My dream matters simply because it's mine. The guilt. Now we're going to release it. And this is an example. I release the guilt about resting. The truth, the truth is, rest is not laziness. Rest is necessary. I cannot pour from an empty cup. That is my truth. Here's another example. And my release is I release the guilt about having multiple passions. Because the truth is, I don't have to choose. It's both in. And I'm allowed to be multifaceted. Now it's your turn. I want you to go through your list for each item and write. I release the guilt about whatever your guilt is. And then I want you to say the truth is and reframe it. I'm gonna give you a moment. And I want you to hear yourself releasing the guilt. I want to hear, I want you to hear yourself reclaiming the truth. This is the work. This is how you shift from guilt to freedom. This is how you shift from guilt to freedom. All right, let's go to the next exercise. All right, exercise three. You ready? All right, the both end list. What can you have? What can you have? You ready? We're gonna start practicing this both and thinking, all right. This is where we stop choosing between dreams and start claiming all of them. I want you to write down I can have both. I can have both. And then list the two things that you've been told that you have to choose between. I can have both a successful career and a fulfilling personal life. I can have both creative fulfillment and financial stability. I can have both rest and productivity. I can have both my Hollywood dream and my coach calling. I can have both time for myself and time for my loved ones. I can have both joy in my relationship and empathy for my friend's pain. I can have both spiritual growth and material success. I can have both multiple passions and deep expertise. Now it's your turn. I want you to look at your joy audit. I want to look at, I want you to look at where you have been operating from either or, and I want you to rewrite it as both and that is and say, I can have both, and write the thing and write the other thing. And write at least five. And if you have more and you need to do so. Let your brain hear the possibilities. Let your brain hear the possibilities. Let your heart believe that it's true. Because it is. That you can have both, that you don't have to choose. Exercise four. Choosing your joyful practice. This comes the most important part. And that's about adding one joyful practice to your daily life. Not something productive, not something that serves the purpose, just something that brings you joy for joy's sake. So here's the rules. Rule number one, it has to be purely for pleasure. No justification, no productivity, no usefulness, just joy. Just joy. Rule two, it has to be daily, even if it's just for five minutes, every single day. Rule three, it has to be pacific. Not I'll rest more. But I'll take a 10-minute bath with um, but I'll take a 10-minute bath with lavender every evening at 8 p.m. That's specific. You're choosing on what to do, how many minutes, and specifically what it is that I'm doing with it. And rule number four, it has to light you up. So when you think about doing this thing, do you feel a spark? Do you feel a smile? Do you feel a sense of a yes? That's how you know that it's the right thing. Now, let me give you some examples to get your mind going. All right. Dance. Dance to one song every morning before work. Dance to one song every morning before you work. Or light a candle and journal for 10 minutes before bed. You could take a walk outside with no destination just to move. Or cook one beautiful meal per week slowly with music. These are just examples. These are just examples that you can do just to be of joyful, just joyous to you. Or read a fiction for 20 minutes every evening. Paint or draw, create something with your hands. Just sing in a shower or in your car, wherever you feel like it. Wear something that makes you beautiful just because. Or call a friend and just laugh. Or if you just want to sit in silence with your coffee and no phone, do that. Write porch, garden, watch the sunset, listen to music that moves you. Are just ideas. These are just ideas. Your joyful practice is whatever brings you joy. Now, what I want you to do right now, I want you to write it down. What is your one joyful practice for this week? And then I want you to write this down. Every day this week, I will your Pacific joyful practice at what Pacific Time. I know y'all saying, Dang, Naomi, you giving us yes. I told you this month is all about we doing the work. For the past few months, we've been talking and talking, listening to amazing guests on Wednesday and talking and talking. Now let's do the work. Let's do the work. Let's put some action to it. And I want you to make it, let's make it Pacific. Let's make it time. Let's make it committed. So here's an example. Every day this week I will dance to one song at 7 a.m. before I start work. Every day this week I will take a 10-minute bath with lavender at 8 p.m. before bed. Every day this week I will read a fiction book for 15 minutes at 9 p.m. Write it. Commit to it. Let me share, you know, some of my joyful practices with you. The things that I do just because they bring me joy. My morning altar time. Every morning I spend time at my altar. Not for productivity, not for answers, just to connect, just to ground, just to honor the sacred. That's joy for me. Music. Dancing. I have that moment to where I have my music. It's one particular song that I play. And it shifts my energy all the time. Remember my green bathroom project. Yes, this again, because redesigning that space, choosing the green paint, making a sanctuary, that's purely for my pleasure. And I'm unashamed about it. I I talked about talked about just creating different spaces in my home. Laughing with my husband, we laugh a lot about nothing, about everything. That's joy, that's pleasure, that's life. This podcast. Honestly, this talking to you, sharing my stories, being vulnerable, this brings me joy. It works, yes. But it's also pure pleasure. I shared with you all months ago when I wasn't on here, when I wasn't able to sit because I wasn't feeling well, that I was sick, that I was healing. And I it was something that I missed. But as soon as I came back, I felt so good. So good. These are just some of my joyful practice. So what are yours? What are yours? Now I know some of you are thinking, you know, Naomi, I don't have time for all this joyful practice. I'm too busy. I have too much to do. And I hear you. I hear you. Because I worked, you know, long hours all the time, especially last week. I know what busy feels like. But the truth is that you you you don't have time not to have joy. You don't. Because when you're operating from depletion, when you're running on empty, when you're all work and no joy, you burn out. You get bitter, you lose yourself. But when you start to add joy to your daily life, even if it's just five or ten minutes, everything shifts. You have more energy, you're more create, more creative, you have more capacity, you have more love to give. Joy is not frivolous, joy is fuel. So you don't have to find an hour, you don't have to find, you know, to overhaul your whole life. You just have to find five or ten minutes every day to do something that lights you up. You have to find time for that. You have to find time for that. And the big question, what if people judge me? I know some of you are worried about that. What people think. What if people judge me? What if they judge you for taking time for yourself? What if they think that you're selfish? What if they they don't understand? And here's what I say: let them. Let them think that you're selfish for taking a bath every night. Let them think that you're frivolous for dancing in the morning. Let them think that you're impractical for pursuing your creative joy. Let them. Their opinion does not change you, your right to joy. The judgment doesn't diminish your pleasure, their discomfort doesn't mean that you have to shrink. You get to have joy, you get to pursue pleasure, you get to live in the fullness of your life. And if someone judges you for that, that says more about them than it does about you. People tell me every day, why are you doing the season of self-love? Why are you talking about self-love? Why are you talking about this? Why are you not interviewing porn stars or old porn stars? Why are you not talking about just sex? Why are you not, why you're not doing this? Why are you not doing that? Because I choose to do what I want to do. I choose what makes me happy. And that's what you have to do. Start doing. Choose what makes you happy. I'm not hurting anyone by bringing joy to my life. The more joy that I bring to my life, the more joy that I can bring to others. The more that I'm able to love myself, the more that I'm able to love others. Alright, so here's your challenge for this week. For the next seven days, I would love for you to do your joyful practice. Every single day, no excuses, no skipping, no, I'll do it tomorrow. Every day for seven days. I want you to do, I want you to notice what happens. I want to notice how you feel. I want to notice how your energy shifts. I want to notice how your mood changes. Notice how your joy starts to ripple out into other areas of your life. And at the end of the week, I want you to ask yourself, what would my life look like if I kept this practice up? What would shift if joy was a part of my daily routine? That's the work. That's how you build that unashamed life. That's how you build it. Now, just like every week, we need accountability. So I want you to share your joyful practice, make it public, make it real. Option one, you can DM me or tag me on Instagram at the Season of Self-Love Podcast and tell me this week my joyful practice is give the Pacific practice every day at the Pacific time, or option two, tell your accountability partner, text them right now. This week, I'm adding joy to my daily life. And here's what I'm doing. And let them know exactly what you're doing. And do it now, make it real. Do it now and make it real. All right, so before we close out, I want to leave you with this affirmation for this week. All right. So if you're ready, please repeat after me out loud if you can. I deserve joy for joy's sake. I do not need to justify my pleasure. I do not need to apologize for feeling good. I can have all my dreams. I can pursue all my callings. I am unashamed of my joy. Beautiful, beautiful. All right, my beautiful people. This is the work. This is how you reclaim joy. Your audit is where it's blocked. You release the guilt. You practice both and thinking. You add one joyful practice to your daily life, and you do it for seven days. And you will notice what that shift is. And slowly you build a life that's not just productive and not just responsible and not just useful, but joyful, pleasurable, and full. So this week, do your joyful practice every day, no matter what, even if it's just five minutes, especially if it's just five minutes. Add joy to your life unapologetically and watch what happens. And then come back next Monday because we're moving to week four on unashamed expansion. We're talking about being too much boldly, about taking up all the space you need, about blooming for lead without shrinking. This episode has helped you. I wanted to share with someone who needs permission to add joy to their life. Leave a review. And please DM me on Instagram and tell me what your joyful practice is. I'm gonna celebrate with you. So until next Mindset Monday, the Shigurity God is coming back, reminding you to be good to one another and yourselves. And I always keep it sexy. Love yourself first so you can love others well. Have a good one. Thank you so much for joining me today on this journey of intentional healing. I hope that this conversation has filled your cup and reminded you of the beautiful and worthy person that you are. I want you to remember, healing isn't about rushing, it's about showing up for yourself with love and intention one day at a time. So I'll see you back here Monday and Wednesday for another episode of The Season of Healing Intentionally. Right here on the Season of Self Love Podcast. So until then, keep choosing you. And visit us at the Season of Self Love Podcast.com. Show notes and resources, and remember to connect with me on Instagram at the real Naomi Max. This has been brought to you by X Naomi and Elevate Me Self Discovery. Because your healing matters. You are love. You are worthy. And you are exactly where you need to be. Take care.