Mormon to Muse
Episodes
67 episodes
The Cost of Integrity: On Being Misunderstood
You didn't leave because you wanted to sin. You left because you saw things you couldn't unsee, and you followed your integrity out. This episode is about the price of that: being misunderstood by the people who used to know you best, and what ...
Stepping Into Womanhood After Mormonism
A woman posted on an LDS forum that her garments were so uncomfortable, she'd stopped wearing them — and then asked permission. Is this okay? Am I sinning? That question is the entry point into this episode: a close look at how Mormoni...
Why We Resist What We Actually Want
Resistance Isn't a Stop Sign — It's a MapThis week I'm breaking down Resistance — the concept Stephen Pressfield writes about in The War of Art — and why it ambushes you right at the exact moment you're closest to the thing you ...
10 Ways Creativity Builds Inner Authority After High-Control Religion
If you were raised Mormon, you were taught to outsource your authority, your boundaries, and your worth to everyone around you. This episode isn't about making good art — it's about using creativity as a rehearsal space for trusting yourself.
Healing the Weight of Regret: How to Forgive Your Past Self After Leaving a High-Control Religion
Regret doesn't only live in the church. It shows up in relationships, in choices we can't take back, in years we wish we'd spent differently. If you've ever thought "I should have figured this out sooner" or "look at all the years ...
Joy After High-Control Religion — Why Play Feels So Hard for ExMormon Women
We are taught to praise quiet endurance, self-sacrifice, and endless productivity in women — and taught to fear untamed laughter, chaotic play, and uninhibited delight. In high-control religious cultures, fun isn't just discouraged. It's treate...
"I Could Never Do That": Untangling Nature, Story, and Belief Post-Mormonism
"I'm just not creative." "I could never do that." "I'm not the kind of person who finishes things." You've said one of these — or something close to it — so many times it stopped sounding like an opinion. It started sounding like a fac...
The B- Version Is the One That Counts: Overcoming Perfectionism After High-Control Systems
Are You a Perfectionist? Here's Why That's Not the Compliment You Think It Is Perfectionism gets worn like a badge of honor. I used to wear mine that way too. But underneath the polished exterior, perfectionism isn't a high stan...
7 Things I Wish I Knew During Deconstruction
Faith deconstruction isn't a clean process. You're rebuilding a self while still going to work, parenting, managing a marriage and a household. There's no roadmap for it — you're improvising for the first time in a life that used to ha...
Making Peace with the Human Void: Why That Empty Feeling Isn't a Problem to Fix
There's a particular kind of longing that shows up even when my life is good. Nothing is wrong. Nothing is happening. And still — something feels missing. A low hum of restlessness, the sense that I forgot something, that there's suppo...
The Number One Mistake I See Women Who Leave The Church and How to Fix It
You know you don't have to do what everyone else wants anymore. So why is it still so hard to figure out what you want?
What Is Eros Energy? Reclaiming Your Aliveness After Leaving the Mormon Church
I spent years experiencing my own aliveness as a problem to manage. I was a mother of young kids, restless out of my mind, bored without intellectual stimulation — and certain something was wrong with me for wanting more than playdates...
The Manual You Didn't Write: Why Other People's Behavior Isn't the Problem and How to Reclaim Your Peace After the Church
We don't usually realize it, but most of us are carrying an unwritten rulebook about how the people around us should behave so that we can feel okay. Brooke Castillo calls it a manual, and in this episode I unpack why it has such a fie...
The Midlife Trifecta: When Faith Identity and Body Shift All at Once
If you're somewhere in your forties and it feels like everything is coming apart at the same time — your faith, your body, your sense of who you are — you're not broken. You're in the midlife trifecta: faith transition, perimenopause, ...
You Were Never Unworthy: How Unconditional Positive Regard Heals the Damage of Mormon Worthiness Culture
What if the system that claimed to be making you good was actually the thing standing in the way?
You Can Trust Your Feelings Again: Emotional Literacy, Embodiment, and Self-Trust After Faith Transition
Download the 7 Day Reclamation Sketchbook There is a feeling you know very well. You felt it in sacrament meeting, reading scripture, bearing your testimony. It was warm. It ...
The Sinfulness of Selfhood: Why Differentiation Feels Dangerous After Mormonism
Episode 51: The Sinfulness of Selfhood: Why Differentiation Feels Dangerous After Mormonism There is a word the church uses for a woman who trusts her own mind over the institution. The word is proud. There is a word for a woman...
Why You Can't Say No: How the Mormon Church Hijacks Consent
It wasn't until I was in my thirties that I really understood what consent meant. I knew the word. I could have given you a definition. But the actual lived understanding of it — what it means to check in with yourself before you agree...
You Know More Than You Think: Rebuilding Self-Trust and Inner Authority After the Mormon Church
You've said it a hundred times. About what you want, who you are now, what comes next. I don't know. And it feels true — honest, even. But what if "I don't know" isn't always a fact? What if sometimes it's a thought your brain is using...
The Loop — How High-Control Religion Uses Shame to Keep You Coming Back
Mormonism didn't just teach you to feel shame. It built a system where being human was the problem — and the church was the only solution. In this episode, Kristin breaks down exactly how that system works: how ordinary human ex...
Beyond the Rulebook: How to Build a Values-Driven Life After the Mormon Church
What do you do with your conscience when the institution that claimed to own it is gone? This episode is about one of the most disorienting parts of leaving — not the grief, not the social fallout, but the quiet, unsettling question un...
After Mormonism: How to Rebuild Your Identity When You Don't Know Who You Are Anymore
There's a particular kind of silence that happens after everything collapses and before anything new has taken shape. You're not who you were. You're not yet who you're becoming. And nobody around you quite understands what that space ...
Fron Obedience to Inner Authority: How to Start Living Self Directed After Mormonism
Leaving a high-control system doesn’t automatically make you self-directed. Many women walk away from Mormonism expecting freedom—but instead find themselves stuck in indecision, self-doubt, and confusion. Why? Because obedience...
Why Leaving Feels Like Dying - Understanding Faith Transition Grief
Nobody prepared me for the fact that leaving the church might be the hardest thing I ever did — not because I made a mistake, but because of how completely my identity was woven into it. In this episode, I name what so many wome...
You Were Never Just a Calling — Identity Loss and Self-Reclamation After the Mormon Church
There's a particular kind of exhaustion that has nothing to do with your schedule. It's the exhaustion of spending years showing up, giving, serving — as a version of yourself you never quite chose. In this episode we name what so many...
