Letting Go & How To Do It With Ease!🥰

In this episode, we're talking about what letting go really is, why letting go doesn't mean you can't or never will have it, how the FEAR of losing something is what keeps you from manifesting it, and explain why it's essential to stop clinging so tightly to what you so desperately want.

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Transcript

 If you are afraid you're gonna, you lose something that you actually do have, what happens? You end up losing it. So imagine how that affirmation and belief works on something you don't have yet. It's never fucking coming, right? Like that's what they just showed me. If you were like, I hope I don't lose it.

I hope I don't, I don't wanna lose it. I'm scared to lose it. That's how you lose it. It's that kind of energy. So if you do that with stuff that you have, you'll lose it. If you do it with stuff that you don't have yet, you'll never get it. So you have to find a way. Be okay without it. It's the only way.

It's the only.

What is up? My fellow dreamers and Soul searchers? Welcome to the Roxy Talk manifestation podcast, your raw, unfiltered, and unapologetic source for all things manifestation related. I'm Roxy Lee, and for the last decade I have been researching and developing my signature 360 method, which combines behavioral science, quantum physics, and the law of attraction.

To help you manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams, visit roxy talks.com for more info. Now, let's get into it.

He said, why? When something amazing finally happens with sp, something bad happens right after with them. The reason why you lose something, or let's say when things are good they go bad, is because it's, it's a, it's like a two partial thing. So one, we have this history of like things getting taken. Or losing good things or like, generally what I see is like people who have, whose parents like divorcing their kids.

If you had to move away, if there was like a death in the family, um, if parents were like inconsistent in their physical presence or emotional hair, Any sort of like shake up inconsistency in childhood creates this back and forth energy. And so what happens is like you end up living out this pattern where the fear of having what, when it's good or just the, just the.

Experiencing the trauma of having this stuff taken away and things going bad. Every time it gets good, it leaves like an imprint on you and it's like an expectation. So there's this underlying thing that's happening. And then on the other side of it is like when it happens, you reaffirm it. There it goes again.

There's that thing. How come every time it goes good, something bad happens. Because you have that definition, you expect it, it happens, you reaffirm it. Cycle starts over again. So you have to do like double work. You have to work on. Healing the, the stuff that happened in childhood and early life where things were taken away or things were inconsistent.

And then, and work on not fearing, worrying, doubting, expecting things to go bad or counting down when it goes bad again, the last time you should ever say when something amazing finally happens, something bad happens right after. That's the last time you ever define your life like that. From right here.

That's the last time today. And then if it should happen again, you continue to say, not in my reality. Actually good stuff brings more good stuff. I'm always glad when good stuff happens. I'm excited when good stuff happens because I know more good stuff is coming. And so even if the thing gets taken away, you respond with, see good things keep coming.

See they, I keep getting good after good after good. You don't give into the story. Cause if you give into the story, then you just start the cycle over again. You gotta start, start with the next one, guitar where it says if something bad happens, a form of self sabotage. For sure because, okay, this is why.

So it's a protection. It's a layer of protection because if you have one good day and then a bad day, or like two good days and a bad day, then when you have the bad day, it's not, it's not as big of a loss. And if you had like a hundred good days and then it all went to shit, right? Like, and that sounds kind of like, that sounds dumb because now I'm saying out loud, it's like, well, that would be way better than every other day going bad.

But it's more like the deeper someone gets. Then the worse it's gonna be when they go away. So you're preventing them from getting too deep. And that's why there's always a problem after it gets good. Because if good brought more good and eventually the good's gonna get taken away, then I don't want all this good being taken away.

You know what I mean? Like, okay. Back to the a hundred days analogy. The a hundred days would, like, every day would compound on each other, right? So we get bigger and bigger and bigger. And then when you lose, the next time you lose, you lose a hundred instead of one. Does that make sense? Sometimes the analogies are, I don't, I, it's hard to like verbalize.

Sometimes I see like graphs. Sometimes I see like little, like, it's like a little gif or something, or like a little play or like a little commercial. I don't know how to explain it like a little video or so. Hey, friend, did you know about my new monthly subscription Synergy? This is your all access pass to everything Roxy talks.

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If you are trying to spy on SP stuff mm-hmm. That's not where you're supposed to be. Like, okay, let's talk about this thing. What I heard today with sp, you have to be willing to say goodbye and let's just talk about it just in general with all things. Doesn't matter what we're talking about. If you can't get over something or like, you know, get over the.

The idea of not having it or like the circumstances or whatever, then you really have to work on like letting go and clearing that energy because do you ever see those commercials where they show like a clogged artery and like the little red blood cells, like have a hard time going through? Cause it's not like a smooth tunnel.

That's like what I just saw in my head. So like you have to like clear out that junk in order for this manifestation to go any manifestation to go through. If you're not willing to get rid of the junk, guess what's not fucking coming through smoothly. It just can't. So you have to always understand that like letting go does not mean giving up.

It doesn't mean you're never gonna see them again or you're not gonna get them, but it means you, you're willing to go there. Honestly not for, pretend not to get the manifestation, but for real, and I know it's especially hard, it's especially hard with things like money and love, right? Cause those are, it's like the.

Important things in our world. Security and connection. That's what everybody wants pretty much. Right? So it's got weight behind it, you know, and it's like there's so much riding on it. So, um, even though it is the most important thing, you have to act like it's not, you know, like there is like that certain level of playing it.

Cool. Being a chillo, source Rex kind of thing. You know, you have to, I always see like, like the cool kid trope in high school kind of movie character. You know, like just that like, you know, like, just like the, the person that like, everything comes easy to that kind of energy. It's annoying that, you know, those type of people or whatever, if it's even a real person, um, where this stuff just comes easy to them, but it's because they don't struggle against it and they just, Besides that, you said money is where you struggle the most.

Yeah. Honestly, like as a coach, I've talked to, like, I've literally talked to lots, probably thousands of, at least thousands of people. I'm think, I'm trying to think face to face how many people I've talked to face to face a lot and money and love are like by and far the most common. Love is definitely the most common money and, and stuff is second and then like health maybe is like, like later down the la down the road Anyways.

So it's just, um, you know, it's like what's important to us, acquaintances. I think many people do have a fear of losing the thing that they let go of. Yeah. And that's why you're not have, you don't get it. That's why you don't have it. Like, okay, think about it like this. If you are afraid you're gonna, you lose something that you actually do have, what happens?

You end up losing it. , right? So imagine how that affirmation and belief works on something you don't have yet. It's never fucking coming, right? Like that's what they just showed me. Like for example, I always say, I never say like, I hope I don't forget, blah, blah. I always say, I always remember my stuff. I always remember my purse.

I remember exactly where my purse is. I know exactly where my phone is. I always remember my stuff. I always remember my phone. I say that all the time. I have never lost a. I've never lost a purse ever, ever, ever. And I don't, cuz I always remember it. So I make sure that I use the correct, like even though I'm like paranoid about it, I use the correct.

Terminology to, you know, put myself in the, the right place to not lose it, even though that's like what I'm talking about. I know, like, ultimately, like that's just not going anywhere. Cause I never, I always remember myself, so I didn't, can't even finish that sentence. So I always remember my stuff and if I were to say the other thing, I might be someone that loses them all the time.

I've had, I had other friends that lose, like, lose a fucking purse a year, lose like a couple cell phones a year and it's like fucking mind blowing to watch. Uh, no offense, I love you guys and not that I don't do other crazy stuff on my, on my side, but that's one thing that I'm just not fucking around with.

I always remember myself, I always remember my phone. I always remember my purse. But like again, if you were like, I hope I don't lose it. I hope I don't, I don't wanna lose it. I'm scared to lose it. That's how you lose it. It's that kind of energy. So again, if you're doing that, if you do that with stuff that you have, you'll lose it.

If you do it with stuff that you don't have yet, you'll never get it. So you have to find a way to be okay without it. It's the only way. It's the only. Elizabeth says, and then you get it, but you're so scared you'll lose it. You push them away and you do. That's exactly it. Cause it's the same energy, the same energy that loses it is the same energy that's keeping it away.

That's what I'm trying to say. So it's like you have to, it's like you have to make peace with losing it. That's why like, think about it like this, again, the same fear of losing it is the exact, it's the exact same fear of not getting it. Okay. If you don't make peace with the fact that you won't get it or that it's, you're gonna lose it, the fear remains the dominant force.

It remains the dominant manifestation. So it's like, th and this is why, like, I just, I really wanna get through to you on this. Please hear me right now. It's not about giving up on it, okay? You must understand that you have to diminish and dismantle the fear of losing it in order to fucking keep it. Do you not understand?

It's not about giving up, it's about you have to be okay with losing it because the fear of losing it is too strong for you to manifest through. And so once. Fear is gone, then you can fucking manifest them. Get it. Get it. It's not about saying goodbye forever. It's about dismantling and ta beating that beast that says You can't have it.

Bitch. Fucking try me. Do you get it? Like, ugh. I don't know how to explain it more. I just like, I feel like I've said it so many times, it's not about giving up. It's not to say you can't have it, but the thing that says you can't have it needs to be fucking beaten through and busted through or broken up in order for you to get it.

How hell, right? Right. You have to beat that boss to get to the next level and you're just cowering in it. Fear, because it sounds really scary, but again, I'm telling you, as someone who has done this successfully, I did this and it worked and we're still married. I did this myself. Okay? It was what needed to happen in order for us to be who we are.

I probably wouldn't even be Roxy Talks if it wasn't for him. Because he has allowed me to flourish and flesh this thing out without standing in my way, in any way, without needing me to provide any other thing except to get through this, my part, the person I was with before this. I know I wouldn't have become this.

I know I wouldn't have done it with that person, so, The fact that I'm even sitting here is largely due in fact, because I have a partner who let me, who gave me the freedom and the space and support to let me figure this shit out and fucking bring it to the world because nobody else believed in my shit.

Nobody else understood what I was doing, sitting at my fucking laptop all day, every day for years. No one else fucking got it. Okay? But he. But I, I would, that we would not have that kind of dynamic if I had still held onto the story and not been willing to say goodbye to him when I did and not forever.

Again, I told you guys, we were friends. We lived next door to each other. I knew that he would not be out of my life and maybe that had something to do with it. I, I, I knew I wasn't saying goodbye forever. I was just saying goodbye to, like, trying to make him want to be. I knew we would be in each other's lives.

So that's why I was like, I need to cut this shit off now before like, like I live next door to the guy, I'm gonna fuck, we have the same friend group. I can't get away. Like I cannot get away. So like there was never this like goodbye forever and go fucking, no, it's done. And oh my God, I can't, no. It was like, bro, I love you so much that I can't make, like try to force this anymore.

And I cut the ties energetic. And hours within hours. It didn't even take that long. It was hours. It was fucking hours, okay. Hours later. And I was just me. I was just reveling in my fucking self. I was so proud of myself. I felt like I could do anything. I could, felt like I could have anybody, and I knew I was gonna find myself a fucking.

Harder that night, and I did, and it happened to be the same person. But anyways, I'm just saying again, I'm telling you as a person who's done it themselves, I'm not telling you, this is not some hypothetical bullshit. I'm not saying, you know, they say letting go now, bitch, I've done it. I was there and I did all on instincts, so I wasn't trying to do anything.

So I can tell you what a pure instinctual. Like a real clean, energetic cut. Like that's, I was not trying to get this man anymore. I wanted to have a nice relationship with him because he was my friend. He was my next door neighbor. He was one of my favorite people. I never stopped loving him. I always loved him, but I could not try to force him into a relationship for one fucking second longer.

I saw it for what it was like. Let him be him. He did. I don't need him. I'm, I don't need him. I'm, I'm me. And that is what brought, that's what changed everything for us. And again, if that hadn't happened, I don't know who I, I don't know where I would've gone. I probably would've moved to California way earlier.

I would've stayed in, I wouldn't have stayed in Colorado. I don't know what the, I, I don't even say, I don't know where it would've gone. I don't know what my life would've been like. I don't, and I don't, I just don't know if this would've happened because like he supported me for a long time when I had nothing going on except these idea.

and I was trying to make it happen and there was, it looked like I wasn't doing shit. It looked like I was just freeloading off of him and playing around on my computer every day. But I knew that I had something and there would be something. And if I just kept doing it, I would figure it out. And he knew, he trusted in me.

He didn't know what the fuck I was doing, but he trusted in me. And that combination, him helping me and supporting me and trusting me and letting me do this is why we're having this conversation. Right.

Okay, today's homework. Today's homework. I want you to create a new set, standard set of rules for yourself, a new definition for your life, a new metaphorical 10 commandments for yourself, if you will. And. I want you to write it down or like type it up and make a physical copy and like put it up somewhere and put it up in maybe a few, a few places.

Um, because these ideas like, I guess I'm always gonna be alone. Things are hard for me, whatever. Like they're, so that's like the infrastructure of your building and like, it doesn't matter what color you paint the fucking walls of the building. Structure says Shit doesn't work. We really need to, I want everyone to rewrite their, like, rules of themselves.

What is, what is what, what does life treat you like? What is like this, you know, I'm just taking youd cuz we , we're fresh here and we've been talking about it. You know, I've been single for 36 years. I guess that's just what I get. No, I am very, um, high quality and choosy and I only let the best of the best near me.

But guess. The best of the best come to me easily or whatever. Something. I mean, just, we need to change the definitions of who we are because part of, part of why, you know, we struggle with manifestation is that we're trying to manifest something that that contradicts a core belief or definition of ourselves and we're not willing to go there, to go in that deep and uproot such a, a deep-rooted system in order to change our lives.

So, I want you to go deep. I want you to really think about what you think life is for you, what you think it does, how it treats you. And we're rewriting that. I want you to come up with like a new, again, a new 10 commandments, a new set of rules, a new dictionary definition, and I want you to write it down, make a physical copy of it, and then put it up so you can look at it and like maybe put it in a couple places and start indoctrinating these new ideas into your mind.

Thanks, everybody here. Thank you for being here. Thank you to yourself. Like I hope you go take some time to do something that makes you happy. Pour yourself into your creativity or your passion and love yourself. This shit's possible. You can do it. You got this. We're all raising our vibrations together.

You have the power. I believe in you.