Marianne Sass Petersen: “If you do it right, it's not dangerous. If you don't know how you do it, it can be really dangerous. You can feel it in your stomach, and it's so good. You are in love.”
Hello and welcome to episode six of This Amarkaner Life — a new season of stories from and about the island of Amager in southern Copenhagen.
And in this episode — the last of the series — we’re heading to a terraced house in Tårnby to meet a woman who’s a bookkeeper by day…
Marianne: “I like numbers, and I think I’m really good at it.”
… and an unusual kind of life coach by night.
Marianne: “They think, ‘woo, I can do that and that and that.’ They get the feeling, ‘I do it. I can also do a lot of other things. I'm not stupid. I'm good.’ And people get happy, and I can see people change.”
MUSIC
There are, by my count, four ways to open a bottle of Champagne.
There’s what you might call the Formula One method, which you’ll know if you’ve ever seen footage of an F1 driver on the podium. It entails shaking a bottle of bubbly until it erupts like a volcano and sprays Champagne everywhere. See also the dressing room of every Premier League winner since records began.
Then there’s the traditional method — holding the cork under a napkin, and twisting the bottle slowly but surely until the cork comes loose with an elegant little puff.
The third method is the celebratory pop, the deliberate release of the cork so that it goes flying across the room or up into the air.
And then there’s this.
UPSOUND — sabering
This, of course, is sabering — or the art of opening a bottle of Champagne without popping the cork, using only a blade.
And to get a handle on it all, I’ve come to meet a woman who lives in an unassuming house in suburban Amager.
Marianne: “ My name is Marianne Sass Petersen. I'm born on the island of Amager. I work in the day with bookkeeping, and in my free time, I teach people to cut champagne with sword, and selling champagne and make shows where I teach people to cut champagne.”
That’s right. Marianne teaches people how to open Champagne bottles with blades, and sitting in her living room with a pot of rooibos tea, I asked her to give me an intro to sabering too.
UPSOUND: Marianne showing host how to saber
Perhaps the most important thing to know, in case it’s not obvious, is that you’re not actually slicing through the bottle.
Rather, you’re sliding the flat blade of your blade along the seam of the bottle and striking that glass rim below the cork. Pressure inside the bottle — well, that's enough to blow the top off.
Traditionally you would use a sabre, though apparently, a decent kitchen knife will do.
Either way, my first question for Marianne was: why?
Marianne: “It’s more fun. You can feel it in your stomach, and it's so good.”
Fair enough. My chance to feel butterflies in my stomach was yet to come.
Right now, I was curious.
You see, I’m not sure what I expected a Champagne saberer to look like, but if I’m honest, given its faint air of derring-do, I’m not sure a suburban bookkeeper would have been my first choice.
How, then, did Marianne get into it?
Marianne: “I’ve been divorced, and 14 days after, I met Henrik Hansen, the chef. He had to be a judge to open oysters, and in the middle, they open Champagne with swords. It's a competition, a Danish competition.”
“Wow. I think it's really fun. And I take a lot of pictures, and I look, and I think I have to do that. I have to do that. And I think, ‘Yeah, why not? I do it,’ and after that, I have to only open champagne with swords.”
In fact, Marianne and Henrik never looked back. Whether it was their enthusiasm for sabering — or for Champagne — they started taking it pretty seriously, even if they had to figure it out for themselves.
Marianne: “Nobody has shown me. They have shown Henrik, but not so well. So I found a place where I can buy a sword, and we cut Champagne every day.”
They also got Marianne’s daughter into it, and the three of them got so good at sabering that they decided to compete in the national championship — and what followed was a montage-worthy climb up the standings each year.
Marianne: “We tried and tried, and one year Henrik was number four and three, he got number two. I got number three. My daughter got number three.”
But as the saying goes, second place is the first loser, and so, in the face of all this crushing disappointment, Henrik came up with a plan.
“He found a new way to do it.”
One that involved loosening the agraffe — the little wire cage that keeps the cork in — rather than removing it entirely. If I’ve just lost you, never mind. All you need to know is that, much like the Fosbury flop or the False 9, it worked wonders in competition.
Marianne: “I do it with all that on, with a sword from Spain, and I cut with all that on all the, all the people who do it took the agraffe off. I do it with agraffe. It got really fast. So I got number one in the competition, a bookkeeper, and they had waiters, and a chef and the bookkeeper won the competition.”
Marianne’s victory over all those waiters is all the more impressive, given that competitive sabering isn’t just about removing the cork with a blade.
Marianne: “You have to cut clean. If they're not cut clean, you get minus points. If you don’t have all the Champagne in the glasses, you have minus points. If you don’t do it with style, you get minus points. If you don't do it safely, you get minus points. So there are many things you have to remember in a few minutes. The most important is to take the Champagne in the glasses in the right way. You have to do it in 16 glasses, and you have to do it the right way. You don't touch the glasses. If it goes 'ping', you get the minus points. So every day I do it with all things, Coca-Cola, Champagne and water.”
But with all this talk of opening Champagne, I had a pressing question for the bookkeeper.
“How much Champagne do you get through because every time you open a bottle, what happens to the Champagne?”
“In my stomach. Or in the customer’s stomach or…”
“Well, if you went and opened a bottle now, what would happen to it?”
“We drink it.”
“Ok, but then how do you get your work done – your bookkeeping? I mean, how is your bookkeeping after...”
“I don’t drink Champagne and bookkeeping.”
“OK. So separate days for each?”
“Yes.”
Luckily, I had arrived on a Champagne day, but I still hadn’t seen one of the swords, so I asked Marianne if she had any lying around.
“Yes, I have a Fox here.”
“Oh my gosh. No one’s going to burgle this house, are they?”
“No, no.”
“The good thing about the Fox is it’s not so long, maybe half a metre.”
“No, but you’re not getting it on an aeroplane anytime soon.”
"No."
I’m not entirely sure what I expected, but it wasn’t a Pirates of the Caribbean-style cutlass.
“And where’s it made?
“It’s a handmade sword from Italy, and the steel is very high quality. And the grip is a copy of a Napoleon sword..."
A quick word about etymology.
Today’s champagne swords are sometimes called Napoleon swords because the art of sabering champagne developed in France in the 19th century. Soldiers in Napoleon’s army carried sabres and used them to open celebratory bottles of bubbly after a battle.
"So you can try to take it in your hand. You can, can feel, you're feeling very good, and when it looks very good in your hand, it's really good to cut if you know how to do.”
“Yeah. I haven't got a clue. So which way is this? Is the outside edge?”
“No, you do it here.”
“Okay.
“And you have it here and cut..”
Evidently, I needed schooling, so we decided to venture outside to Marianne’s patio, where she regularly teaches sabering to groups celebrating birthdays, stag-dos, and so on.
As Marianne showed me the ropes, I learned that you don’t actually need Champagne — you can use anything made in the Champagne method, so Cava’s fine, but Prosecco’s a no-no.
There are some technical details about the angle of the bottle and the seam of the bottle, and where your thumb goes. But you’d rather know how I got on.
UPSOUND: Host opening bottle
Despite the Champagne, we were feeling cold, so much like Napoleon in 1812, we decided to beat a hasty retreat from the patio.
And when Marianne suggested I see her sword collection, I asked her where it was.
“In my basement.”
“I've never been asked down to someone's basement where they've got swords before. I've seen that movie, doesn't end well.”
“I have swords in every room in my home, also the bedroom.
“As I said, no one’s gonna come and rob you.”
Before heading to the basement, Marianne showed me her loo.
"You've got your logo on the seat. Champagne holders. A sabre. It’s all about the details.”
It certainly is — and Marianne even has logos of famous Champagne brands engraved on the paving stones outside her front door.
Marianne: "I have a stone with the Krug logo, and I have Taittinger."
But pride of place goes to her basement showroom and cosy corner.
UPSOUND: shoes clopping down to the basement
Marianne: “It’s my room for swords and memories of when I have been out in the world and seen something about Champagne and swords. I love this room.”
Down in the basement, surrounded by a lifetime of Marianne’s memories, I rattled off a few quickfire questions.
Like, does she get hangovers?
Marianne: “I only drink champagne, and you don’t get headaches if you only drink Champagne.”
Her favourite fizz?
Marianne: “Armand de Brignac. It's Champagne in a gold bottle with metal etiquette in black boxes. I think that when one day I go back into the ground and am not here anymore, I have to be put down with that bottle and that box.”
“Okay, so you’re going to be buried with Champagne?”
“Yes.”
“And presumably buried with a sword or two?
“Yes. Yeah.”
Fun fact about her favourite champagne, Armand de Brignac — it’s partly owned by rapper Jay Z.
And you know what? That isn’t the only hip-hop thing about Marianne.
Her middle name is Sass, and in her email signature, she spells it with a dollar sign.
Like Too $hort, Ma$e or A$AP Rocky.
Marianne: “I think when you are called Sass, you have to do something. So yeah. It's only for fun and to show people I take care of their money.”
Maybe, then, the key question in this episode is how come this Champagne sabering hip-hop fan likes bookkeeping so much?
Marianne: “I like numbers, and I like people, and I’m really good at it. Companies call me — help us, help us."
Well, that figures.
Still, you know what else she’s good at? Sabering. And yet, after winning the Danish championship in 2009, Marianne never entered another competition.
Though she did a bit of judging, he preferred to focus on her bookkeeping business and her side hustle — buying and selling swords and Champagne and teaching sabering to tipsy stags, hens, and newlyweds.
And why not? It is, as Marianne concludes, a potentially life-changing skill to pass on.
Marianne: “When people cut Champagne, they see a new side of themself. They think, 'wow, I can do that and that and that. They get the feeling, 'I can do it. I can also do a lot of other things. I'm not stupid. I'm good.' People get happy and I can see people change.”
OUTRO MUSIC
You’ve been listening to episode six of This Amarkaner Life, a new season of Archipelago all about the island of Amager.
If you’ve enjoyed listening to it, feel free to share it with friends and family or leave a nice review wherever you get your podcasts.
This Amarkaner Life is written, produced, and hosted by me, James Clasper.
The only thing I don’t do is the music.
That’s by two artists: Scenery and Squares and Triangles — and you can find links to their music in the show notes, along with a link to Marianne’s homepage, where you can pick up your own sword.
Many thanks for listening — I hope to see you sabering champagne very soon.
UPSOUND: Sabering, "POP!" and bubbles fizzing.