Most of our time is spent struggling with whatever comes to us. We want to fix it, change it, make it suit us. And as we enter into battle with life, not only is our energy used up, but we feel more and more helpless, unable to win. In this podcast, we see that Wanting To Change It, is simply a painful feeling. And we can let it go. As we begin to do this, with whatever arises in life, not only do things change by themselves, but our strength, power and feelings of ease return naturally.
Most of our time is spent struggling with whatever comes to us. We want to fix it, change it, make it suit us. And as we enter into battle with life, not only is our energy used up, but we feel more and more helpless, unable to win. In this podcast, we see that Wanting To Change It, is simply a painful feeling. And we can let it go. As we begin to do this, with whatever arises in life, not only do things change by themselves, but our strength, power and feelings of ease return naturally.
Good morning. Good morning. This is Brenda Shoshana, dr Brenda Shushanna returning with a next episode and turning the tide. The journey of releasing, letting go, becoming harmonious, finding ease under all conditions. This is episode three. The episodes are cumulative in the fact that we start number one with a basic orientation to this wonderful journey and practice of letting go. You know, we often hear, let go, let go, take it. Easy. Trust, surrender. We hear many, many, many words like that and they're all very beautiful. They're right. They say if you let go of your pain, your anxiety, your stress, you'll feel more at ease. You'll be clearer, you'll be calmer. You'll be able to know how to take the next step and how to proceed. And of course those are very good wise words. They're all beautiful. But the question is, how do we do it? How, how, how, how in the middle of upset and anger or pain or fear. How many times, as I said in the other tape, we are flooded surfing. We've been read. The wave has surfed over us. We can't surf the wave. We could also call this surfing the waves of feelings, learning how to surf. I like that image very, very much so. When I say how, I don't mean, okay, follow these steps and you'll have this result, but I do mean there is a path. There are steps, there are, there are ways and why don't we try? I'm not saying it's for everyone. I'm saying everyone will have a different response. We'll find out for themselves. And this is a practice of trying it out and finding out for yourself. It's not a belief system. It's not a dog ma. It doesn't conflict with anything at all. It's a practice of sanity, of becoming sane, of becoming at ease and becoming human. Being able to, to connect with and to be able to be in touch with all the wonderful resources that we have within. Okay, so let's get going. We don't want to waste a precious moment at all here. Now I want to use this time to, to share the actual that that was called in the old days, the method. It's called many different things now, but whatever word we take and use here, let's, let's, I call it the journey. Let's call it the journey or surfing. I love the image of surfing and you know, this is, as I said, and I want to repeat, not in conflict with any, any particular spiritual or religious system or belief or commitment you've made. I think it only will enhance it if we say, let go and let God. It's very beautiful to, this is the way of doing it. We say, have faith, have trust. Well, this is really a way in my experience of learning to trust and to have faith in something different than our chattering mind and our endlessly arising feelings, clouds, clouds, always clouds drifting in the sky. You know, usually we put our faith, our trust, our energy in what we're feeling. We think it's true. We think it's right. We think it's, it's, it's what we have to listen to or into the, we put our faith in the endless chatter in our mind within and this journey, this process takes that away. We don't put our faith, our trust in the stories in our head. All the thoughts are all the arising feelings. I'd come and go. We find another way of being with them. And then something deeper really arises. Can call it a clarity. You can call it wisdom. You can call it compassion. Does it really matter what you call it? You've got to just taste it for yourself. Okay, so let's start again. As I said on today's episode, which is let go of wanting to change at[inaudible]. I love that. Now let me go forward with that point.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:We know that we get in touch with many feelings as we sit quietly. Maybe if we just go within as we did in our last tape, and we feel a feeling of fear arise rather than run away from it. We just allow it. We feel it. Let me let it go. We feel anger. We feel grief rather than repress, as we said, or suppress the feelings. We're welcoming them, we're opening to them and we're not fighting them off right now. And as we're starting this journey, as we're doing this process allow, we allow ourselves to feel what we feel without judging it. So one thing I wanted to share is that when we want to change something, just feel that now if you think of something in this world that you would like to change anything all now rather than think about what it is you want to change, try to get in touch with the fact that the desire to change it, wanting to change it, that's a feeling too. Feel that feeling of wanting to change it. Wow, we didn't realize that. That's a feeling. Now is it the event or the situation that's causing so much distress? Or is it this feeling[inaudible] I want to change it. I want to change and I want to fix it. I want to make it the way I want it. It goes on and all of us, we're just wired like that. So I'm just asking you to become aware of that. Now. Something you want to change the weather. Let's take something simple to start. By the way. There are very deep things of course, that we want to change and they will bubble up as we do this process. But let's start with something quite simple so you don't feel, Oh my gosh, this is too much. So let's chill. Let's start with something simple. I want to change that. I woke up late this morning, something like that. Something very simple. I want to change that. I, you know, very, very every day, every stay, something you can relate to, something simple. But what I want you to do here now is to feel the feeling of wanting to change it. Don't focus on the event, but I want to change it. Feel that as a feeling. Locate where in your body that is. Well, it feels like in your body. This is a very important in a beautiful step because usually we're in our minds all the time. I want to change it. How can I change it? This is wrong. This is right.[inaudible] goes on endlessly tormenting us. Okay? Now, so I'll be now that ask yourself, well, can I change that? Could I, can I right at this moment, at this very moment, does the, I may feel the way that I want to change it, but this that is, can I change it right at this very moment? Just at the moment, I'm not saying in the future you can, but right now could you just let go of the feeling is just a feeling of wanting to change it. It's a lovely, lovely feeling to let that go. That's been creating so much tension and anxiety. Let's just for one moment, let go of the feeling of wanting to change whatever it is, acceptance being with it. By the way, when we want something, it means we lack it. We don't have it. So by holding onto the feeling of wanting to change it, we're holding onto the feeling of being unable to change it, lacking the ability to change it. So we're letting that go and we're just being with whatever it is, let go of wanting to change it. You'll feel much, much more peaceful about it when you do. Now, our normal way, as I said, is everything is something wrong with everything, right? Whatever happens, it's not quite right. It's not quite the way I'd like it to be. We judge it, we push it away and stronger cases. Well, I'm just going to reject that. That's a huge response we all make all the time. And as I said, it's not the event that's so painful. It's our response to what the wish to reject it, to judge it, to hate it, to push it away. And if as you're listening to this, you may think, well of course I do that, you know, things that they shouldn't be pushed to where they're bad, they're awful. That's not what I want. It's not what I like. Okay? I'm not saying change doesn't happen and it does by itself and it will of course, but the more you are fighting it, you want to change it, you're going into combat with it. The more you are holding it in place, this is a huge point to notice. The more you can let go of that feeling and it's only a feeling of wanting to change it. Believe it or not, it has to change by itself. It changes. Nothing can stay the same. Everything has a life and will change. It's you actually and me of course too who are keeping it from changing by going into this battle with it. I'm going to change you. I'm stronger than you. I'm smarter than you. Whatever it is. Of course, we see this sadly enough in relationships all the time and if you can change someone, if you, if, if the other person does what you want, but you say, well then you love me. This is a good relationship. I think that that by the way, has nothing to do with love, nothing, nothing. It's control. It's power. It's many things that we're going to work on. It's manipulation. Often it's wanting our own, I grand dies meant or approval by wanting to change someone else according to what we think is right rather than letting them be who they are and accepting it. Doesn't mean you have to live with them. Doesn't mean you have to stay in the situation, but step number one is accepting it as it is for now. Because if you do not, you don't really know how to interact with it. You don't know what's even there in front of your eyes. You yourself are tying yourself into knots and when you're tied up in a knot, you'd not only do you not know what to do, but you don't know what's really going on. We talked about that last time when we were talking about road rage. We'd go into the road rage, we let the feeling overwhelm us, we let the wave take us down, we disappear and all that comes is the rage, rage, rage, and we don't even make up all the stories about it. None of what you're true most of the time. Okay, so let's do this again. This is a practice, so now I want to, I really am happy and thrilled and relieved to be sharing it with you to my great, great delight. I've even gotten quite a few emails, believe it or not, from people who've just putting their toe into the water so to speak, and who are really getting quite a bit of benefit just from shifting the way they're thinking about their feelings and about their lives. So I'm going to continue this. Do two episodes, hopefully a week. Now let's do this again. Let's work on this. Let's work together or let's play together with this feeling of wanting to change it. Can you again now just think of anything that you want to change? Anything at all? Simple. Keep it a little bit simple. You don't want to start with something enormous, but to start, because we're building the releasing muscle. I call it a muscle. Just like working out at the gym. We build our physical muscles and we can do so many physical things. We need to build our releasing muscle and it's a muscle. It's it's, it's a habit. It's an ability to quickly respond differently. That's all, and we're building that now. We're practicing it. So for now, think of something you want to change now. Rather dwell on what it is that you want to change. You dwell on the feeling. Feel that feeling of wanting to change it. You may take a deep breath. It's releasing breath, may yawn. Just feel that feeling. Oh, you want it? What it feels like to want to change something. Take your time with it too. Usually we rush, rush, rush, but here we're going to take a little, that itself is a release. Just pause, feel what it feels like. You want to change your wife. She said something, be very specific or something specific happened. Just feel what it feels like to want to change it and now can you let go of that feeling of wanting to change it, open it, open a little door if you need to, little energetic door in your heart and let it go. Larry Crane or for that in his release technique. Wonderful teachers. There are many, and I'll give you resources. Let go of wanting to change it. Thank you. Now look at it again mean you could do the same situation. Could you let go of the feeling of wanting to change it again? It may come up several times. That's normal. It's fine. It's natural. Each time it will be a little bit different. It might be a little lighter. It might be. It might not. It might be stronger. It's all fine. It's fine. Don't judge it. Just be with what comes up. You might get a feeling underneath this of sadness or fear might be scary to let go of wanting to change something. Just feel the fear then that's okay. Can you let go of wanting to change that? If you do, when you do now, if you do, let's be positive. When you do, when you really let go of wanting to change the fear, just the fear disappears. It has to. It wants to. It's just energy you're holding onto. And in a sense when you stopped wanting to change it or fix it or judge it, when you just let it be, it goes its Merry way. Which is such a surprise, a delightful surprise. And I must say a delightful release and relief. And as you keep doing this, say you do this for five minutes, think of something else you want to change. Can you let go of the feeling of wanting to change that? Can you let go of it again? Beautiful. This is only the very tip and beginning of the journey. Step one of letting go. Very fundamental though. If you just do this alone, just this alone over and over, no matter what happens all day long, your day I promise will be incredibly different. It'll be so different and you will feel so different and strangely enough you will feel so much more empowered, stronger, better. How come? How come? Because let's just take a moment and think about it all day long. We're wanting to change things. We're putting all our energy and we have immense energy given to us all day long. How are we using it? By letting go of wanting to change things by fighting them, by warding them off. That drains us very draining and not only is it very draining, it makes a person really feel like a failure and powerless because basically we really cannot change anything that way. That's a very important point. By wanting to change something and pushing and pressing. We might manipulate things into something different for a little while, but ultimately it's going to come back and we, we know that and it makes us feel powerless all day long to keep trying to change something and thrillingly enough. The reverse of that is true too. We feel quite powerful, very powerful as we let go of wanting to change it. Why do we feel powerful then? Because our own natural energy, wellbeing, returns, we're not using it up entering battle, trying to change something in a feudal way, so that is the beginning to getting beginning. Actually it's the beginning and the end, but keep returning to that point in dip. There are many, many other points which I'm going to share with you. I'm going to release with you right to me. If you have any questions@topspeakeratyahoo.com I will be thrilled to engage with you about this other website. To hear these podcasts is www. Best self help dot I'm sorry, best self books.com E S T S E L F B O O K s.com. If you scroll down there, there are other, by the way, other podcasts under under, the one's called turning the tide. Some of them are very relevant for this, dealing with stress and also dealing with the process of releasing. So I invite you to enjoy that page. To enjoy the podcast, to be in touch with me, and I wish you all a beautiful day and let's together, let's go of wanting to change everything. Have a wonderful day.