Imagine having to part ways with your dream truck and bus project, and feeling trapped in a job you resent, all while struggling with burnout. That was my reality not so long ago. As we celebrate the three-year anniversary of the Trail Connection podcast, I take a heartfelt walk down memory lane, recounting the trials, tribulations, and triumphs that have shaped my journey. Opening up about my darkest moments, the challenges I faced, and the toll it all took on my mental health, I also share how I found the courage to seek help and reignite my passion for the outdoors. Tune in for an episode filled with reflection, learning, growth, and finding peace in chaos.
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Mitty’s Journal – The Trail Connection (wordpress.com)
Imagine having to part ways with your dream truck and bus project, and feeling trapped in a job you resent, all while struggling with burnout. That was my reality not so long ago. As we celebrate the three-year anniversary of the Trail Connection podcast, I take a heartfelt walk down memory lane, recounting the trials, tribulations, and triumphs that have shaped my journey. Opening up about my darkest moments, the challenges I faced, and the toll it all took on my mental health, I also share how I found the courage to seek help and reignite my passion for the outdoors. Tune in for an episode filled with reflection, learning, growth, and finding peace in chaos.
Subscribe to the blog:
Mitty’s Journal – The Trail Connection (wordpress.com)
You know, you're never really quiet in perfect silence. There's always some ambient noise going on in the background. Distant rumble, birds chirping, a buzzing of some bug in your ear, wind blowing through the trees. There's always some little noise. But it's funny when you're sitting alone in silence, quiet's not so quiet. It's been a long time since this mic's been turned on Pretty dang dusty, it's been quiet. But let me tell you my life has not been quiet. At all. I think it's important to note that even though there's not an action scene happening, it doesn't mean that the story is not developing.
Mitty:Today marks a significant day for the Trail Connection. It's a three-year anniversary from the first ever released podcast episode Backyard Beginnings. Three years ago, I sat in my backyard and I sat next to a fire and I poured my heart out onto the internet. I spoke about how I found myself in a place where I needed to find balance between my life and work and how the outdoors helped me with that, and it's a little ironic that I find myself in a similar situation as we cross this milestone for the show Right now, here in the woods behind my house, reflecting in the quiet that, as I mentioned, is not so quiet. It's a bit serendipitous because, as I formulate the words that I say as I sit here, I'm annoyed by the planes flying overhead and the loud bugs that keep whizzing past the microphone, and how many times I've had to start and stop, start over again, and I'm faced with the reality of what the last 18 months have been Pretty similar Quiet, but not so quiet. It's embarrassing to me that a year and a half ago, I released an episode stating that I was excited to get this thing rolling again, that I was dusting myself off, getting back up on the horse and getting it rolling again, and then there was just this deafening silence for a really long time. The fact is, I was ready, but life said nah, buddy, I'm not done with you yet, and then I got pulled back into the ring for another go.
Mitty:I went from an excitement for new opportunities and a zeal for connection to the worst case of burnout I've ever experienced and into a pit of despair and isolation, and at a speed that was pretty terrifying. Some of the details I'm going to keep private, but I think I can lay out just a quick list so we're clear that I'm not exaggerating here. I had two runner-up places for a high-level position that I applied for, missed out on Bad political policies and stupid inflation that took away my financial cushion, made it flat. A broken promise regarding a promotion and needing more money and that was the idea was to get a promotion and get more money and that took a while to happen. So that led to intense budgeting and side hustles and sacrifice. Had to sell my dream truck, had to part ways with my bus and the project and the dream that I had and poured into Showed on. This show had a whole episode about it and I was going to do a whole series from that. That was really hard to have to get rid of that, but I had to to remove some debt.
Mitty:I went 18 months with little to no outdoor activity at all, zero hiking, and this brought a lot of intense shame and guilt for my choices and how they were impacting my family, especially financially. I was battling feelings of being trapped in a job that I now resented and I hated. I was in a place that I didn't want to be anymore and I was placed that I didn't want to live anymore and there was no visible option to change any of it. All of this to say, I was in a pretty dark place. I had no business coaching anybody while I was drowning and I had no business advising others on how to find joy when I was in despair. And then there was this show, yet another reminder that I was dropping the ball in another place. I was backed against the wall and I needed to find a way out and I needed help. So I took the advice that I had been sharing on the show and I got back outside. I took a vacation and I hiked for the first time and way too long, and then I went to see somebody for counseling.
Mitty:So I mean, looking back a few years ago, I found myself in a place where I thought I had been. I had beaten something you know in the backyard, beginnings right there by the fire. I struck a balance between work and family and the stress was manageable. I had a vision of where I was heading and I had a dream of what I was going to do at this show. But again, life said nope. You know, on that pilot episode I talked a lot about how this concept came to me and how it came about. What it was for? It was for my family, it was for my wife, it was for my kids. The nature connection was a way for me to stay sane and to invest in our future. The show was going to help me prepare for that time and demonstrate for my kids how I use connections with people and nature to learn and to grow.
Mitty:But I let that show become a priority. You know it's funny, my wife asked me not to do the show when I first pitched it to her and there was some wisdom behind that. I should have listened to her and it wasn't because she didn't want me to do it, she just she knew it wasn't the right time. You know, I had mentioned before I was working on this book and kind of got took a side trail to do this show, and she knew all along that the show would take the priority and I would fall off right in the book. And she was absolutely right. Writing was really special to me and I let it slip. I let the dream of what could be overshadowed, the foundational reason I started it all to begin with.
Mitty:You know, over the last, the past few months, I've been working on my own mental health a lot and I've learned much about myself. I've learned how I make this a trend with many things and then, when unrealistic goals don't realize, I proceed to go 10 rounds with myself with a vengeance. I learned that I'm really really hard on myself when things don't work out the way that I envision them to, and I've learned that misplaced priorities can really get you in a bad spot mentally. It's only been since I've been able to take a step back and see the whole picture that I realized that I'm eerily back at 2019. That same spot in the yard and I feel very much like a character from a familiar film. I'm not much for musicals and I but I appreciate a good story and one of the best modern musicals has to be the Great Showman. My wife took me to see this movie when it first came out and because it made a really big impact on her. For some you know specific personal reasons at that point in time, but I'm really glad that she did because it had the same effect on me.
Mitty:I remember wiping tears from my eyes as I connected with the character of PT Barnum. You know, at the time it was the similarity of how his work pulled him away from his family. But three years later, the same message hits, a little different but just as hard the opening scene, when he's envisioning his dream of the Great Show. He's standing there and what could be is all around him. You know, the music, the lights, the acts, all of it is just going on around him and as the camera spins around him, all the characters and the lights and the fans just fade to black and he's just left there, standing there alone in the dark. I felt that in my chest. That is the perfect visualization of what it's like to live in my mind, to envision an idea into a reality, only to be woken up from the dream. You know, I have a talent for painting an end result in my mind, all the way down to the very last detail, you know, and unfortunately it's a blessing and it's a curse, because I tend to let the dream take over, just like I did. So as I sit here, you know, reflecting again full circle from where the show began, I'm humbled.
Mitty:It's not so much about finding a balance anymore, it's about maintaining priorities. I don't think I had it wrong back in 2019, but I don't think I had it completely lined up. We must establish those priorities and then everything else comes after. That Balance becomes a myth. At that point it's all about maintaining a proper position, proper pole position. We have to hold the wheel and not allow other people to determine what our priorities are going to be. And you know, as I'm thinking about this and kind of reflecting back to that movie, there's lyrics from a pivotal song and a scene in that picture that applies all too well.
Mitty:I saw the sun begin to dim and felt the winter wind blow cold. A man learns who is there for him when the glitter fades and the walls won't hold Because from then rubble what remains can only be what's true. If all was lost, there's more. I gained because it led me back to you. I drank champagne with kings and queens. The politicians praised my name. But those are someone else's dreams, the pitfalls of a man I became. For years and years I chased their cheers, the crazy speed of always needing more. But when I stop and see you here, I remember who all this was for. From now on, these eyes will not be blinded by the lights. From now on. What's waited till tomorrow starts tonight, and let this promise in me start like an anthem in my heart from now on, and we will come back home, home again.
Mitty:You know, I find myself back home, back home again, with my wife, my kids, with nature, with quiet, just reflecting on what is most important, and I let it slip again. You know, I wasn't really chasing a career, but the choices that I had made led me to a place that I didn't have, a choice where I had to make more money. You know, I took the opportunity to use a little extra cushion and, instead of using wisdom and getting ourselves in a better position financially, setting us up for the future, you know, seize the moment because of the dream and try to make that a reality, but that was a little premature. There's nothing wrong with having dreams and wanting to make it a reality, but not when it comes at the expense of others, especially your loved ones. So I just felt a lot of guilt and shame around that and it's hard to admit that and it's hard to just take a step back and allow nature to run its course whenever those types of things happen.
Mitty:So, as I sit here kind of on the eve of a pretty significant milestone for something that was started. Three years is a long time to be doing something. Arguably I haven't been doing it all time, but to the point at the beginning of the show, just because there's not an action sequence going on doesn't mean that the story is not developing. This character was developing. I'm a stronger man today than I was a year ago, 18 months ago, two years ago, three years ago, and I'm grateful for that. I really am, because without these lessons, pride and arrogance can kind of creep in. So it's good to be humbled every now and then.
Mitty:So what's the message for today? It's been an awful long time, like I said, that this microphone has been fired up. I don't have a whole lot that I want to try to embark on today, but there are a few takeaways that I think are important. We got to hold fast to our foundation. I mean priority one. Mine is faith. My family, specifically my wife, my kids, and peace, just peace.
Mitty:It's really hard to find peace when you owe people money. It's really hard to find peace when you don't like who you've become. It's really hard to find peace when you're so stressed out that you're a jerk to everybody you're around, or you're unhappy or you're negative. It's really hard to find peace when you feel all this external pressure to conform to something that's just not what you want anymore. So everything else has to come after that. Everything else has to come after those priorities Even good things, even good things and we can't allow other people to dictate what those priorities are like. I've already mentioned I'm through with being guilted into commitments that impact my priorities. I'm not going to do it anymore. There has to be an established way for us to rest and to find peace, and then we have to practice those things and establish their place as a core priority. You also got to remember we're not always going to win, but that doesn't mean we're losing and we still have our pillar priorities. Then we're very blessed.
Mitty:As I mentioned before on this show, we must adapt and appreciate the progress that's been made. We have to give grace to others, especially to ourselves. We have no idea what other people are going through. Just because they're not making any noise doesn't mean that there's nothing going on. You know, we have to allow ourselves opportunities to learn from mistakes or to understand that we're not perfect. You know, sometimes we need to be okay, with things looking a little different than we imagine. That's all right. Sometimes things just work out differently and that's all right.
Mitty:I'm not going to spend a whole lot of time right now reminiscing on all the things that I want the show to be and all the things that I had hoped for and laying out all the goals, you know, for the things that I wanted for this show, because one of the things that I've learned is there's this technique in goal setting that when you speak them out loud, it fools your brain into thinking that they're already done, and so instead of doing that, I'm just gonna do them, and when they are accomplished, that's when everybody will find out what the goals were. Going back to this idea of finding things, of finding joy, of finding peace. I find a lot of joy in writing and that's why my wife knows me so well. She has always known that about me and she knew how important that goal of writing my book was, and so this show is dedicated to her, because I found my way back to her, to my kids, to the page. And you know, over the past three or four months, five months or so, I've made a lot of progress on my book and that makes me really happy to have done that. You know it spilled over into the blog, which I've always wanted to do for the show, and that's becoming a reality now, and it's exciting because there's some really good pieces that I'm excited about on there. So I'll do a quick plug for that.
Mitty:If you haven't seen the Trail Connection blog, you should check it out. It's called Midi's Journal and a lot of those things that I write about are similar to the things that I've shared on Instagram before in the past, but they're just a little linkier and more thoughts put into them. So I've been trying to get those out on a more regular basis and that's been good for me, been a good exercise, good practice, and I just I can't express enough like how much that, how much joy that brings to me, and I would love to share that with you. So if you haven't had a chance to see that, then please go check it out and the link will be in the show notes and I'm also going to be promoting that quite a bit. So I just I've found that Removing myself from social media is good for me mentally, because that place is not a good spot to be, and you know, I just want to pivot a little bit and focus more energy on writing that's actually gonna be read in a place that's more appropriate for it, I think. So there's that, but Anyway, I'm in a good place and I'm really happy to have had this opportunity to celebrate a three-year milestone. It's a big deal. It's a really big deal to me, even though it's not something that I Thought. You know, I figured we'd be a lot further along the line by now, but you know Not to rehash everything I just said. But that's okay, it's alright that it doesn't look the way that I had originally envisioned it to, because it's turned into something even more valuable to me and it's growth and, most of all, it's genuine. Everything, everything about this show has always been genuine and from the heart, and so I Hope you all feel that, and I think that's a big reason why people resonate and connect with the trail connection, and so MIDI's back and show look a little bit different moving forward, but it's still plugging along. So Thanks again for tuning in everybody. Until we meet again. I'm Tim Garland, aka MIDI.
Mitty:Thanks for tuning in everybody. If you like what you heard and you want to support the show. There's a few different ways that you can do that. First, support with a click like subscribe, follow rate. By subscribing to the channels and interacting with content that's created, you help boost the show in the platform algorithm and it shows up for more people. Best thing about this one is it's free. Leave a positive review. If you enjoy the podcast or the blog, please take a few minutes and leave a five-star review with some positive feedback. Your opinion matters to me and also to others. Also free. Make a donation.
Mitty:There's a few costs involved with producing this show and maintaining the websites and, as we grow, the money that we raise will help continue to improve the quality of the show and enable us to cover the cost to operate. If you choose to donate, each contribution will go to fund expenses that keep the trail connection moving along. Above that, I'm working towards publishing my first book, so funds will also support the cost of publishing. I greatly appreciate every single one of you guys. Take the time to listen to my show until we meet again. I'm Tim Garland, aka Mitty. This is the Trail Connection Podcast.