#5 - The Navigation Coach - Tara Rafter

In this episode I talk with award winning Life Coach Tara Rafter. We discuss the current covid19 pandemic and how best to approach it mentally, how the way we speak to ourselves internally can shape our reality, getting out of your comfort zone, personal growth and lots more. 

Transcript

spk_1:   0:16
everyone, What's up? We are finally finally back with absolute number five off the fit like project podcast after all this time. So I'm absolutely delighted and excited today to introduce our first special guest, Tyra Rafter, a k a. The navigation coach. So Terror is a life coach and author. The International Coaching Federation of Ireland. Courts of the Air. She holds advanced training in business, career parents and relationship coaching. She is a master neuro linguistic practitioner and she also trains coaches at the Irish Life Court Institute on top followed that she's justice amazingly positive person who helps people who are feeling lost, overwhelmed in life or people who need direction or focused. Keep moving forward. So sit back, relax. Enjoy the podcast. Andi, try and take on board A lot of water has to say I hope you guys enjoy Tyra. Welcome to the fit like project podcast.

spk_0:   1:26
Thanks for having me

spk_1:   1:28
on. I am absolutely delighted to get you on today. I know you're insanely busy lately I've been following your instagram like religion and no thanks a 1,000,000 for coming on.

spk_0:   1:39
You're so welcome to the final. My instagram like religion. I believe me down the wrong

spk_1:   1:43
hat. That's the last piece here in Spain. We just like, looked at their before we jumped on. The call was You make in par noodles and advertising yourself as a contestant on Survivor Series.

spk_0:   1:56
I just I was here today. Do one calls and I made. I didn't know that you could make partners in a corporate like the water out of the cattle. That's why I thought I was classed. That's innovative, innovative. Such a thing is possible. Lives back. Just the Harvard microwave. I was like, Let's test that chinch

spk_1:   2:15
ever since. All right, so you're getting on so far with old quarantine and isolation. Look, over 19

spk_0:   2:22
Grant I think I'm seeing is everyone. So it's like just this mass of big ass rollercoaster on and woman and I'm completely sound. And I'm thinking about a 1,000,000 things like doing all these projects like that statue on the next minute. I, um, sitting in sitting room rock and trying to find And you know, the next thing on Netflix because I can't hold with George. So I think everyone is kind of yeah into position. Yeah. Everyone living old place on I think you know, And I said this in all of the talks that I don That's a completely a normal reaction to a completely abnormals that events. Um well, it will start kind of feeling like we're on unstable ground to diminish. And you know, I'm here and things were finds all the time. Day in day. I was talking to them and they're everywhere. They're all over the words and they're all saying pretty much the same thing. Um, it's shock and fear and anger inside, miss in frustration and last and all of these mixture of emotions. Andi, I think all of us are feeling like the exact same thing. You feel any of that?

spk_1:   3:29
Of course, you and I guess, and another people probably getting a bit worried that they're not dealing with all the motions. Okay, at one time. But as you said, there is completely abnormal situations. No one's really pre equipped to deal with these things, really, are they?

spk_0:   3:43
No. I think that's something people need to be really, really cognisant off, like we have never done this before. So, like he cocked to hear them say in unprecedented times on it is, you know, and I think the more people could kind of lead into the fact that some presidents times it's like the first time you did Anderson in your life. And you hunt, who wouldn't rush, You know whether it was starting a new job learning use Katie. First day when you were working as a P T. First extracted your horse. First time client. First time he went online, all it was weird, awkward, uncomfortable bits that we go through in life. The global is going through that at diminished. Yeah, So I think every emotion is exceptionally. No matter how you're feeling, just can't reminding yourself that your grand and you're doing your best on whatever your feelings Normal. It's all part.

spk_1:   4:28
Yes. And I love that because them especially like in my industry, I'm seeing two sides of the coin. Since this Court 19 I would liken again. I'm judging by social media for them like you see one side, but where people are saying no, you have toe grasp this opportunity both times to better yourself and doing online course and read and learn into this. And then the other side of the coin is people saying that This is an opportunity to slow down and relax and spend time with family. And everything is very much like you have to this. So you have to that. Andi, I guess you know, it should really be like a common ground of what's right for you right now. Because I'm see everyone is so different. Um, we all see and value things slightly differently. So for someone that might be working at a 1,000,000 miles an hour, and then I will get this opportunity to stop and say, Right, I'm gonna spend this on my family and, you know, put my kids to bed and do this in the dash. That's fine. But at the same time, someone else that may be isn't working at a 1,000,000 miles an hour in the real world. And now we're faced with all this time off and, you know, might be good optionally for them to go on, perhaps do something. So there's no one size fits all, and it's all, like, you know, do with what do what you can with the opportunity that you have. But it's not

spk_0:   5:37
your school right? You're so right. And I think you know the more people are tuning in words and listening to them sense and listen to what they feel is right on what feeds, right? And sometimes we'll convene right in this moment is gonna feel complete Iran in 10 minutes. And that's branch. You know, like you Teoh may be in a position to, and that's why people keep calling it a roller holster. You have to be in a position to just put the secret on fire your hands off when it feels like a good fish and, you know, close your eyes and brace for dear life when it feels like a bag Bush. And I think for a lot of people what we have to be aware off from a you know, a brain perspective and a body perspective is this is fresh. And when the body in the mind perceives a fresh, it goes into one of three things. So it's going to be five supplies for freaks, and that's what's happening for so many keeper. But you have to remember that both the brain and the body has members. So while I'm north of what a lot of lines is the feelings and the uncertainty in all of this is pulling up store for so many people from the past. And it could have been some trauma that they have held onto either. In their minds are their body, his hands onto from the past, where they found fear with defense, uncertainty with essential, comfortable. And sometimes people really don't have an explanation for what they're feeling, because potentially the body of mind is pulling on something, that's all. So you do you in this situation whether you feel like having a cry or, you know, going headfirst into an Easter egg. Kharbata wine, whatever you feel like you need to do if you want to take this as an opportunity to learn and you scare a lot of pink ticket musical instruments. A lot of people taking time to get out into nature on their nurturing their bodies. I'm talking about, you know, people looking at it from a movement capacity has caused till I could transform my body

spk_1:   7:24
here. Exactly is it that, like you go out now, when you see someone who brought walking and running like that weren't on the floor and again as you said there, it's not from this hole no transform my body like you say, like this big, let's go kind of thing, but more so just people get known appreciate nature and it's a nice day. So let's go for a walk in this family. Is that walking? And it's fantastic.

spk_0:   7:48
Yeah, it has taken on all your dimension of people I think are Guettel. Your health is your western. I think we're starting to see it now and it is under spotlights. People are becoming much more aware that they need to be reinforcing their immune systems under recognize them that their body flourishes and prospers. When we do wash, it is binge to do and your body is binge to move. Yes. Oh, we get out there and we walk. You know, we're helping every organ in our body do its job better, but we're also had been our brain. Our mind lower and cortisol levels were increasing and orphans is a lot more gold remain like this. So much off the benefits where people are actually really get to see it out. Because inside that the pain had to get so big in terms of a global pandemic for people to realize we already had all the resources that we need it Absolutely. Yeah. They were already there. We just needed to stop using. Just took a global pandemic.

spk_1:   8:42
Yeah, just something a smaller is like a virus that was threatening to wipe a celebrity kickers in the game. I know, I know, but I love that. And I love as you said, they're like we pretty much had the power all along to go and do these things and to better ourselves. Bush. You know, sometimes it's just a realization off. This is happening now, So I'm gonna go when I'm going to go for a walk, or I'm gonna read a book or whatever days. And then how much better you feel afterwards?

spk_0:   9:10
Yeah, it's It's starting. That was a monster. Still here with the end word. The wizard says where you have power all along or whoever said storm she cooks, readies on she wants to go. We had the ruby damn slippers. We had the along with skill, which it's all crabs. We already had it on. Uh, I think you know the word is the holistic in a deep breath. And humanity has Jake missed epa, and I think the version of the world we walked back into is going to be very different. But I also picked the version of humanity prisoners you will always be few with majority the wall back in. We're gonna walk in difference. Whether you whether it's visible physically on the surface, is one time what I think internally, all of us are change

spk_1:   9:52
big. They time Congress, which more and I think is well, even from a health standpoint, where we're realizing now that we're not bulletproof in the sense that, like God, I know I know someone that called Kovar 19 and they seem pretty healthy. So no, I might quit drinking his mantra. Quit smoking or better my immune system. So I think that little internal switch is definitely going to be going in a lot of people,

spk_0:   10:15
my larger store rice Andi. I think that's such a good point. May. So many were living their lives like we were bulletproof, you know, and it's this is taken away people's grandparent's people's mothers, people's fathers, people, sisters and brothers and sons and daughters, and we never saw this comin and we couldn't have been prepared, and the only armor that we have is our bodies.

spk_1:   10:40
Yeah, exactly. That's it Exactly. And all the, You know, I read a read a post or two weeks Go on. Was something about, you know, their wealth in the world can save me from this, And the popularity can save you from this and all the material things that we tend to attribute to being successful can save you from this. At the end of the day, it comes down to you and your health. Yeah, you know, isn't it? It's really a big wake up call, flawed people, and, you know, myself included that the time to kind of get carried away and then you have to grow in yourself and say Right? What's important? My hopes my family etcetera, etcetera. So, like it's been a good wake up call for a lot of people, I think. Yeah. And so in your comment, a couple happier things. Let's talk about you for a second and 2017. I think you you change careers and got involved.

spk_0:   11:27
Took the leap, The leap of faith, Fraser Life. Yeah, I was 19 years and regions I had qualified with an honest rain business went to Australia to live the dream like so many people do on. I was out there about four months of my dad died. Really? Still be insulin came back and then I have to start again. I had sold my home Pacific and I'm skint everybody savings. I have origins. Gosh, I know was a good seven to was Jap import. I like that can

spk_1:   11:52
have the body.

spk_0:   11:54
I did. I was one of them. My sun visor thing was Don't wait too long constantly getting pulled by gags The gammy plates and the car was dropped too low when she

spk_1:   12:04
did. You have. Did you have the gangster lead?

spk_0:   12:08
I want to Kind of small. So, like I haven't anyway, make it even if the seat ball Milia only four have sold my care on Yeah, came back then from Australia and I was completely sketched. I I started on check outs and Supervalu here and bounding out on a soon to even on their fresh. Rachel hadn't trained me in on check outs and signify the legend that it's rich. And I remember I was on check outs for about six months and I was kind of in my own words. I think I was still very much grieving my dad, and still in shock and stuff on. It kind of started to find my feet in that been in the grief process. Um, got some courage. Andi asked for the option. She just kind of spread my wings in this Torbush. Andi, I was looking off to progress. Tomorrow's with level in the sore, and I ran Supervalu up their inborn re about for about nine years with the team managers. Incredible 40 to stuff his class. I'm somewhere in the middle, that madness. I met my husband. We got married, Um, and then I had kite silk. I is for now, um, it was general. It's funny. It's kind of my keep making comparisons. And I hate to this time when I was I was I'm a charging work. I That was the first time for probably when I was like, I want to say, 14 or 15 like greeny young. But I had actually stopped because I got I've been working with the ones that man I was you know, there's no one to mind is when we're young. So you was brought to work. Those were the days there was no employment law. You just watch. Has packing chickens when I was 11 so I used to just go to blow on. It was the first time when I was a maturity that I really in a really long time had taken a step back on. I asked myself where I was going in my life. You know, I was in a different chapter, if you like. Like I had sent down. I was married, I had a baby. I'm Yeah, complete different head space. And I was like, OK, what version of me is in this snow? And I knew it was time to change from retail. Like the hours were very long. It was intense work, even though I lost us. But even at the top of the ladder that I find like I still only always in this I felt like hello. I knew I insulted as to give the words. I had no idea why. Waas. Yeah,

spk_1:   14:30
and I completely, completely empathize with that and relates that because I'm I felt the exact same thing. I worked for nine years as electrician's. And like I like your white haters. You know you didn't mind. And I said, boy like that, I like I completely felt like I had something else. After World War I didn't have a breeze What it waas But I just knew that that wasa my thing. And yeah, it took a lot of soul searching to find out for them. Yes. Are you You going to recognize that there was hollow there, that there was something you needed to offer the world? How did you You know

spk_0:   15:02
what that waas I always said to people I And even though I've studied career Corden I took the senior groups like I really did. Like I knew that the comments right was people, um, I yield working with people I loved watching human behavior and how people operations and I always got ask question were to the interest in that human saw it come from. I always I'm really honest with story eso When we were younger, my guys was psychotic. Exactly domestic violence with something that was commonplace in our house. So from kind of the age of like three is my earliest memory. 45 old Well, I used my skins, which I know no are actually gives. They're called mirror and your neurons. I use the skins that I had internally to read my extra an environment in order to survive. So I started to learn how to read people from kind of three years of age. To be honest with you, I know from someone's tone of voice the energy in a room, uh, the way someone was breathing like I can't even describe. I was sold tuned into my external environment because I knew that you know my awareness or not will determine good or bad things happen. Yeah. Sold from that age, I really started to to develop full skins. And that's gives it that I use no every day where I'm working. And I remember putting down my ciel form, um, psychology or philosophy on nor disrespected. The career teacher at the time. I remember her saying to me, But what you gonna do with that? I was okay. Fair point. I changed my mind on the second form and a key and full circle, so I always had an interest in psychology. I always had an interest in human behavior. Even when I was in Reach it, Yeah, it was human resources parent. That was fascinated dish I was reading when I When I think back to how I couldn't see the logic, passion. I was reading activities from Harvard on the side when I was in retail, and I was trained in a business in terms of cognitive behavior therapy on your linguistics, reading all of us and this all this past storms castles just felt like it was the hobby that from you

spk_1:   17:06
and at the time you're actually reading it just because he had a huge interest you hadn't planned on going doing life. Caution.

spk_0:   17:12
No time to time. But that's why I think that all the time. Follow your passion. Where does your mind go when it wanders? Cause it's usually on a gold somewhere that it likes eyes? When I decided to leave Supervalu on this wise, they took the scenic route I should. I knew I wanted to work with people, and I knew I wanted a very busy life, so I Oh my God, I looked at so many things I looked Food safety training. I like to food safety odd saying I looked I did a digital marketing diplomat online that night. I did have the fitness online at Nice. All like I'm like horses, my feet. And then I did train the trainer. I was like maybe I could be a trainer in some capacity and use the business skins on. It was on that course that they do like the ice breaker. You know, that thing that always brewed to anyone when it

spk_1:   18:00
is when you're absolutely bricking yourself, you're, like, forever ago. Yeah,

spk_0:   18:03
I never did That broke, but the last guy at the table was a life porch. I had never even heard the term. So we went on the 11th hour tea break and it was so funny. I was shocked when I was like, I can still remember been soul awkward on. I was like, You know, I'm really sorry to be so Julie Encourage? What is it that you do? And he started talking about us. I always day and sometimes would be like nearly I repeat myself now, but it's the truth. I felt like a light went on in my head and in my heart disease stroke and I was like the world sealed down. I was like, Oh, my gosh, is this an actual pain. And I went back to my seat on my Googles how to become a life boards coach under the table in the other bloody turning the train are like And I found the Irish like Bush institution on. I sent many men I interviewed Finished out the train The trainer that weeks interviewed on

spk_1:   18:56
soundly with absolutely no intention of continuing with no, that you phoned the life.

spk_0:   19:01
So yeah, I was accepted with yours. Lifeboat institution. I'm that was this. The rest is history. I started with them. Um and I went on one of the biggest personal development journeys off my life. Like they always there. And I said 20 training coaches. Now you can school deeper with a client. Then you've gone What? Yourself? I was wrong, Like, roll coming out of the course. Um, but it was incredible. And I graduated on a Sunday and took my first client Monday morning when my needs knock and knock and on dry table in a hotel in in school. And that was this. I never looked back. Room Little group. Yeah, it's amazing, I think story,

spk_1:   19:46
but that's incredible. And what I love about that is As you said, you took the scenic route like even though every fiber in your body was telling you that you need to do something to work with people. Eventually, as you said, it came full circle, and they ended up doing that anyway. Even though he went through all the Egyptian career, passports were hand. It's like the Universal showed you how to get there in the end.

spk_0:   20:05
Yeah, and it's funny, you know, even though it sometimes people think that they're like taking paths in their life. And then I think that the such a thing as a wrong direction there's no such thing isn't stick when I work with business clients. Now, I use that the food safety stuff. I use the heads of DJ arching stuff. When I started building my own business, I used the digital marketing stuff for my work with athletes. I used that the fitness store finds the business stuff. I did business like I used to train the trainer because I injured a train and coaches for the Irish Life Watch Institute. When you look back, it looks like I had a plan, but I didn't

spk_1:   20:43
like completely agree what you're saying everything just molded you into who you are right now and what you're bringing to your professional, you know? Yes, I had all them. You know, seven circumstances not happened. You might be the life coach. Such air today,

spk_0:   20:57
100% want the bits was, isn't had I not taken the scene approach? Had I not gone down the wrong hats? Had I not made their in airports mistakes? I think so I something would have been missing. I

spk_1:   21:08
know, and it's a it's incredible. I completely agree with that as well. And only last night I was watching him. I don't know if you're marching. Watching Netflix Days is what there's a documentary about Michael Jordan and the 97 90 a Chicago Bulls team on just through injury. Who's Yeah, it's really good. It's time to exercise their now bought I am on Episode two. He was basically talking about how his younger life, like from a six year old onwards, sculpted him into being the prayer Iwas and I said to south from my founds, after like that, it's amazing for someone had it all that talent, he needed them other circumstances to mold him into being the greatest passport pair. They're related and an example is his dad was quite hard on them and he had two or three brothers in this play basketball and no, the use get quite competitive port. They were all fighting for their dads. Affection and such on one of his brothers was gonna fix and shit around the house, and his dad uses sort of prod him with all the attention and in his dad's own words, He said, Mike know the difference between a screwdriver and a player so used to say, Boy, go back into your mom and you know, some I said, from that early age, that competitiveness was built into him. Where is, like, I'm going to do better in my brother and I'm gonna, you know, when my dad's affection. So all these small things from a young age built in it's being there because actually, right talent alone doesn't get you there. You have to have the work ethic. You have to have the droids. The motivation, like and all them things are moulded by life experience.

spk_0:   22:29
The times will only get you so far, I like by sometimes, and it depends on your belief systems, right? But I'm all into the crazy shit. I firmly believe that it's, you know, predestined that it's decided long before we come here and that if you just listen to your intuition, it's telling you all the time where you're going to be. I knew when I was in retail, something was missing. I knew I needed to go. I knew it was time to hand in my nose. I knew I needed to explore some of the difference. I knew I wanted to work with people. I knew I wanted to be self employed. I have no clue how we do it. I knew I dental training and some custody. I didn't know what I was going to training in. I knew the work that I would do would be hugely impactful on the words prices know what was going to be our homes on a Jewish. But I checked, lean and in to those little whispers, is what Steven Spielberg calls. Yeah, compound

spk_1:   23:19
won't photo from to the other, is not it

spk_0:   23:21
and thrust and just keep trust us every step of the way. Keep trusting it, even if you're afraid like resistant toe She's amazing. Burn a brown there. Speaking recently on she was talking about the fact that fear and courage usually exist side by sight, that people feel like you can't be scared and brave all in the one moment when, actually, usually they exist together. It's usually one more scares that we have to find the courage to go forward. Yeah, when I'm asked about John take in the league, but you know, leave and the big job and all of that kind of stuff, I always say I was petrified. I pulled my carrying on the Bonny kind of George between body con and a ban on three times to varnish because I was so scared and everything in we was roaring like You have a mortgage and a husband and a baby and you're about to leave your job on. I just knew like that boys don't in the bottom of my stomach sites. Terry, you can do this. I just This is the bit now where we just need to Griner teat, But Shorter's back and dick t on my way home. Right? And that's what I listened toe. Yeah, and it was right.

spk_1:   24:28
Yeah. And how important is it to listen to that inner voice. And to that, I am a little person, I guess in your head telling you this is what you have to do. And you know the same is that my journey is quite similar to yours. In the sense that I started. I annoyed you. No clue on. I met a lot of resistance with, like, kind of family. A friend saying up. You know, there's no money in that in this distant out, and you meet that resistance for something inside is just saying, Fuck it. Drive on drive on sorting the workout that some say something's going to click innovation We won

spk_0:   24:56
t know. How did you know went to John? I didn't. That's the question

spk_1:   25:01
I've been asked a lot and a knife. Since I have opened my own business. I have actually convinced a lot of people to quit their jobs, which I don't know if it's good or a bad thing. But I am in my job working as a P T. I. I like dealing with the personal side is in the life outside the training and outside influences and wanting the cons battle a lot of people are very unhappy in their jobs and always just say one thing. Why don't you quit like quality? A passionate about? Let's see how we can pursue that. Maybe maybe I'm destined to a life coach channels I recommend Trainer I'm always joking, but like but like, Yeah, I always say like what you're passionate about and people just have that fair And they're like, I love to go on, do this Bush. I've got these bills and this and that, and and so for me personally, I had the bills, the heads had bought an audience. Time was my baby and therefore God another. I loved it. I thought I was the ship sunglasses aboard the audio, and I bought the Ravens the following day, But anyway, long story short, I just sold. It was nothing telling you is the right time order than with the job I was in. There was no stability in the sense that it was coming into recession times. Onda and I was working kind of four companies that were subcontracted in, so there was no contract for me is such as an employee, and then, like you're finished, one press the job. And then there's 50 people let off, and then you get another so contract and 50 people that often is that folk. This is like I'm sick of people being in charge of my destiny, only be in charge of my own destiny. So, like you took the jumped on the course, no clue how I was gonna make work, I was like, I get qualified. But after that I have no idea. But like that, once you start putting one foot in front of these little doors, windows start open and you make contacts and, you know, start seeing things clear the further along the road you go. Which one thing I tell people you don't have to have. The answer is you just have to put their foot forward one

spk_0:   27:02
100%. And, you know, I think is one of the court on my wall here. You don't need to see the world's jackets. Just take the first step. Yes, I think once you're on the right path, you're so rice. The doors start opening back doors, open windows, open side gates. Everything's happen and you'll be meeting. People would be like, How is this your green. But once you're on the right past the universe, I always say, you know, people talk about affirmations and that's my one. Every single universe is leaning always in my favor on the more you trust ish and the more you believe that whatever decisions you have to make, you know, make the decision what your heart and your soul as opposed to the fear in your hate. You won't steer their set of fire wrong. Absolutely, he's class. That's amazing. So good at what you do. I'm always amazed when I watch online like you're so passionate about the work. Yeah, what I

spk_1:   27:53
was contemplating on I will. I'm going to do a post about this. When I first got into the industry, I was I won't say useless, but like like anyone that's new into any job. And I think people get confused, like if you're going to go into an industry like mine or yours, I get that you have to be the best straight away. It's absolutely a learning curve. I remember doing a video was one of my first videos, I think was the first share opened, and I didn't have a clue what I was talking about, like, not a clue to the point where I went to look for that figure last year to take it down. If someone sees that video, I'm I'm gone. That's embarrassing. Talking to both and, you know, insulin resistance and suffered is that at the time I didn't have a breeze. But I had Google something like that. That was something like a really intelligent and yes, so and definitely I am passionate about report has taken me a long time to get worry am in the sense that and you have to acknowledge your floors and work on. Yeah, that's ruled Exactly exactly like you said as well. Not not looking for perfection straight away. I mean, the first time I'm sure you would. Samu jumped on instagram life Probably bag nerves of the first time. You worked with way

spk_0:   29:02
talk, charged hot pardons That's gone in 24 hours, Brooke. Fruity. Yeah,

spk_1:   29:08
Yeah. And so Yeah, I'm glad we agree on that. Self growth 100 takes. Take the journey,

spk_0:   29:14
I think. Yeah. What? Everyone has to start somewhere. Like I think if we rocked up on the first day and we knew it all Jesus be off boring.

spk_1:   29:21
No. 100% underplayed

spk_0:   29:23
Part for me is the people I've messed on, all the training courses, the you know, the times that I've made the balls of things that you don't have to crack with someone, are you? It's a conversations doctor, like if we rocked up on Day One and we knew it on, I don't think that my heart should be enough, like I lost the learn and I will often not. No one that's I feel like that's part of the trail and the excitement in terms of what I do. I know I'll never be joined because as soon as I've reddish, I go back into Harvard or I go back into one of the Germans and some other fella has done another piece of research that contracts the last mission. Yeah, no. Yeah,

spk_1:   29:57
and then you're trying to pick out which which relates to you the most, you know?

spk_0:   30:01
Yeah, it's amazing. That's one piece of my career is only ever, ever bore, can tell you're off. I just think it's and I think there's a lot of people the same way. I think there's a lot of people have during jobs that are not feeling challenged, that they can't remember the last time they fetch uncomfortable in their own skin because they were be and challenged in some regards or pushed outside their comfort zone, which gets a lot of bad wreck. I think that's happening for a lot of people. I think people are complacent. I think people are settling on for lives and situations and careers or jobs. And I think for me I keep coming back to that mantra in my mind off like I'm only here once on every set for a chicken, every single step forward. I've been afraid of my life, but it never was scarier than not taking this step on. I always said to myself, I fear our refresh. I'm a hate regress and even when it comes to clients, I can coach the shit out of fear. But it's a very different conversation when you try to course regression this office and big for me, that was a big driver is that I much rather be scared to do it anyway.

spk_1:   31:05
Yeah, yeah, exactly. And what's the worst thing that could happen that you make open mistakes and you learn from them and then you bring that knowledge and what you've learned forward. Yeah, I do not follow Gary V Gary Vanner Check.

spk_0:   31:17
Yeah, his classes.

spk_1:   31:19
Me, he saw walking. Motivational. I know he always talks about him. He said that one of the scariest things is being in a room full of like, 90 year old guys that are on their deathbeds. And he said that the regress if you hear them talking about regret, he said that is far worse than any fair you're gonna face. You know, if you're going through life and look in the changing careers or relationships or whatever it might be, whatever fare is holding you back, that regret is gonna be 10 times worse. When you're 90 years of age and 95 in your line, then your deputy

spk_0:   31:51
completely. And I think you know, if you live your life from that perspective, everything looks different. Yeah, like there's nothing scarier than exiting the planet, you know, on a fluffy white cloud and having knowing in your hat that you operated on this floating ball in the sky at 60% of what your kid bluff and that you head off with 40% student attack. That's bullshit. You know, No intention of doing rash known, and he's he's I love him. Like you see him. He does that YouTube videos and, like, someone will knock on the window of his car and he puts the window down in your mind. Insatiable. I've seen them do this several times, but oh, my needs a motivation. Give me one thing, and you just cause you're gonna fucking die window in your mind like I'm gonna Teoh what other

spk_1:   32:36
motivations you need your Only here won't?

spk_0:   32:38
No. I think if you live your life by that mantra like fear just becomes nearly becomes your friend. Because for me, it's there the whole time because I'm constantly doing things that I think All God, Sarah. God on a nearly used to the feeling of fear Now I'm amazing. It's your perception, honest? It's your perception on you know, the feeling in your body and the thoughts that produces in your mind On the more you can make friends with us. You know, the less it is your enemy, Giaka Winnick always says up before the enemy first thing in the morning just brought him? No. Oh, my God. She's, um, idiots and music. One of the Navy Seals. I'm obsessed with Navy scenes. Thes people are just geniuses, Dear guardians of my God. See what a legend of a man. Marcus Luttrell as well, If you watch Old Survivor, he's incredible. And so the park cast the eagles are just when you listen to the stories all my guards, like we think we have troubles and we think you know that we felt hand or that we have build resilience or that we think we've pushed past what we have the concept in our heads off. When it comes to potential, we have scratched you. Listen to your humans. We had expected surface

spk_1:   33:49
coating, agree more, couldn't agree more. And it's like that classic thing, all of them to talk about that the world record for the four minute mile and, you know, whatever. 30 40 50 years ago, they said No. One in four minutes and 32nd. Always Donna was done by like it doesn't other people.

spk_0:   34:06
Yeah, that's just the mind I get. The more the more story ideas into, um, your linguistics, the more I began to understand the power off the language that we use, whether it's you know, that we speak ish or that we think us you are commanding your brain constantly and it's funny. I was on a color before this and I was talking to someone about doing something where they felt like they were pushing outside their comfort zone and they were like, You know, I'm going to do it if it kills May and I was like, No, you're bringing us one job in the world to keep your lines So if you tennis that you're going to do this pain, even if it kills you, your brain is going to shut you down. It's going to give you every reason in the words not to do that thing. Where is if you change your language around whatever it is and you say it's your brain and state. Even if you're scarce, it doesn't know difference between the truth and like, yeah, if you pay your brain, I'm excited. I'm excited to do this new course. I'm excited to put this new content out online. I'm excited to grow my business by X amount. I'm inside Stax podcast. I'm excited to build this online trading platform. I said, I'm excited to run this seminar. Your Grable's okay, Cook, we're excited. Let's have some

spk_1:   35:16
And just on that point are certain. Dropped it like it is. It is the thing that we're just folks it on our language to ourselves and how we speak to ourselves. Or are we actively trying to convince ourselves of what works on ourselves? You know, So if we say this is excitement, it's not fair. Is that just what we say to ourselves, or should we be trying actually convince our brands of that?

spk_0:   35:36
You don't need to convince your rent. It doesn't know the difference between the truth and life. It doesn't know. So when you think about physical manifestations in the body as a result of commands on the brain, I tell this to people all the time because it's all symptoms think about. If you were emergen and even the people that are listening to us talking, imagine that you have 1/2 a lemon in your hands on I've just Colin and half you have half and I have 1/2 is your Listen to me talking so lift the lemon ought to your nose and imagine that you're smelling the lemon and it's like that Citrus ing household cleaner smell, and you can feel the wax of the skin in your hand and then short the limited to your mouth and start chewing and biting and your things drinks forms on your neck. Don't talk on any of the pits. People are Jew and the two in it to win it you want what you'll find happening in your body is that you're still ivory glands will have been going to produce extra saliva to protect the plaque on your teeth from a lemon That does not exist because we just your brain that it was there. Yeah, Sammy sense Credible. Yeah, OK, so that's the powers commands on the brink. So when you tell your brain that you are excited about something, it will release endorphins. It will get ready for opening. It's ready. It's gonna launch adrenaline from your glands because it's like old game time. We're excited. Yeah, if you tell your breathe there scares or that something's gonna be like we're starting a new fitness class or we're doing a new diet plan. This is gonna be held right. This is probably gonna be a nightmare. I'm so bad at these pigs on. Probably this has killed me. To do this. Your brain is going to release enormous amounts of cortisol because it's going to try to move you away from MASH. When your body was starting to react to the command, just like it did for the lemon that didn't exist. That's the distress. You start to freak out, you probably have nausea. Your chest would probably tighten. Your breathing will get rapid. Your heart wish your heart rate would increase your blood pressure will either bull approval. John, based on your on one when I checked person er

spk_1:   37:37
you'll kill the car over on this side of the bony common road and puke

spk_0:   37:40
and you try vomits resigns because had I know this voice that I wouldn't know

spk_1:   37:46
what that's like. Yeah, just shows the power of the brand. Really? That's not when crazy talking about changes in your endocrine system and her mortal responses based on what your brain perceives.

spk_0:   37:57
It's like a computer and imagine all the time you are programmer. So you are programming the commands into your mind all the time and remember, we're running a lot of subconscious programs, so we're talking tourists as the terms that intern and diet. I'll go on the time on what I would be saying to your listeners is starting to convert you a rush. And if it's negative and if told you back, start watching the reactions in your body. When you have a certain told process, change the toss or as it Morris so Post won't have power on issue. Give them power. So start to imagine them like the waves on School Beach. They're rolling it. Just look at them coming in and you look at them going back out, but don't give them any power, and then your brain just kind of just kind of sits and kind of neutral if it was a cat.

spk_1:   38:43
So basically, just don't expect. Don't expend energy on the

spk_0:   38:47
There's no point. You're only just setting yourself up for failure.

spk_1:   38:50
Brilliant. I love that assassinated, and that's such a simple concept. And it's such a simple thing to enforces one, isn't it?

spk_0:   38:59
Yeah, the rain is incredible. You know what? I don't a massive amount to study. I'm in terms of the brain and cognitive behavior therapy and your science and keep reminding yourself that, that is, it's one purpose. It's one job in this world is to make sure that you survive, and it's going to do everything that it can in order for that to happen. And it's kind of like the Terminator. So it's it's watching all the time for any danger that could come in. So let's scan in your periphery to see if there's anything that would knock you out or threaten you basically, and I capacity. So in order for toe the energy and the time to be scanned and like the Terminator, it's gonna run so conscious programs in the background all the time. Which is why we did habits to your brain loves passions because it doesn't have to think. And it's one job, Mr Protector. So if you can stack to recognize how it works, simplified the bejesus out for yourself, you be. It's reinstalling a rewire or having awareness around the passions that you're running and you'll be able to talk to yourself internally with the much more construct of as opposed to D structured dialogue.

spk_1:   40:07
Yes, and again, it's just that recognize ation off No. The good habits and the bad habits and the good thoughts and the bad thoughts. And then, yeah, I love that

spk_0:   40:16
isn't a chest.

spk_1:   40:17
Yeah, definitely feeling you're the next

spk_0:   40:23
very be. I was gonna say,

spk_1:   40:25
Gary T, that's not that's unbelievable. Terror. And then just to come back to something that you touched on there are you the whole Mr Questions wrote out We're not going to go through anything more in the way that this is just casually taking its own direction. But I am you mentioned there a bus, you know, comfort zones and getting out your conference on and you know you were compliance. That's obviously something you face and deal with a lot. How much do you think we need to be getting outside that comfort zone? Not just in kind of personal goals will say, you know, with professional goals and just general life goals, how much do we need to be outside the conference on? And at what point is it? Too much?

spk_0:   41:12
Yeah, so and it's a surgical question on, I think we need to feel challenged. Otherwise they get bored, right? You know, when you've been operating that kind of a neutral for too long in your life to be no excitement. Everything feels that it may. We like to progress. We were built to grow its It's nature's way, um, soul in terms of the comfort zone, and it gets a lot of bad draft for uncomfortable. But I would say is, use it to your advantage. So if you imagine it like a circle inside your mind, push yourself outside of every now and again. You can't live out there. You can't live out. Invite or Fleischer freeze because you direct your agreement to disasters on you need. You will be able to focus. You won't be able to relax. Everything will be just chaos. Eso portion self outside of it. Every now and again, we'll come back into it and recognize the value of the comfort zone for rest and repair. That's where we need the comfort zone. Remember, you know this from the work that you do. Your clients need rest days because when you have a minute session, their terror and muscles and those most in need time to rest and repair orders read then stronger. Yes, your conference on is attacking Santa, so you push outside Terrible. Also come back in rested. Repair most of his goals between your conference on his expanded. Next time your potion older fish tear comeback in rest and repair and then pushing another fish and your comfort zone. You will begin in your life to level up and level up and level up on level of your comfort zone would become larger based on the amount off duress that he put it on. You need to keep coming back to it, to have the energy to keep pushing outside.

spk_1:   42:53
Yeah, so it's just like the rest recovery with training or with working out, then on its progressive thing, then really, isn't it because, as you say, a little bit further every time, and it's the exact same way that we'll do any programming for any person training clients where something called Lim progressive overload and give the body time for adaptation to occur. So it's the same in any other. Gold's really isn't it's exactly satisfies the comfort zone. Hello, adaptation. Push further. Hello, Adaptation.

spk_0:   43:21
Yeah, and you're always tested the person's reality. So outside of the conference on, usually we have to have an awareness of what The person's reality is if there's something like a global pandemic happening, okay, the person's reality will be dramatically alters. Saw the level of progression or the level of push has to be tailored to meet, to meet and sushi the person's reality. Otherwise, it's too extreme on the person burns out or it's not an offending an abortion. So you're constantly going back in and calibration what the external environment is, how much push we want to put on this time on what the realistic expectations and what's practical for the person, even their circumstances. It's it's tailored to the individual everything.

spk_1:   44:04
Absolutely, I'm very individual for each person that's going through

spk_0:   44:08
100%. Yeah, it's like, Yeah, and I get asked that sometimes when it comes to fortune and I always describe it lately, um, it's bespoke, like the work that I do is this book and it's tailored to exactly what sits in front of me. Whether it's through a screen are when the war it comes back to normal, and I actually have people in the office kept, but everyone is different. We all came into the words of different circumstances. We came in when our rule of nature. Some people come into the feisty something between other quiet. There's different layers of nurture that are put around us were born into different families into different homes in two different towns and villages and companies and countries and cultures and civilizations. And there's a level of human conditioning that happens for people. And you that's not generalized. You catch told one thing at a person and expected to fix respond with a result. Every piece of work that I do is the spoke based on all of the different pains, all the factors, all the aspects that's happening in a person at any given time. And you're constantly going back in reality. Testing Nash.

spk_1:   45:11
Yeah, and I think that's something that again transcends across all platforms of our life. That it's that old saying comparison is the thief of joy, and I see all the time, like in my profession, where you know a client will look another client and say what I looked like her like, Well, you've got three kids. She's got no kids. You've got Athens. My job. She might have a part time job like your lifestyles are completely different, so don't expect

spk_0:   45:36
it comparing like with like

spk_1:   45:38
of course, yeah, of course. And I love that that, as you said, they're like sometimes just come back into their comfort on recalibrate. Look at how far you've calm and acknowledged and give yourself a pat on the back and let's move forward again. Always

spk_0:   45:49
look, I always testing that reality, always saying What's possible? Are there you like in your line of work? Are there any new lines of injuries? House, the person feeling and their body has the gold changed? You know where we being really realistic with our addition? Expectations cannot push them hard. Or do they want to go harder? This still being a challenge? There's so many questions that need to be asked in order to make the process successful. Its not one size fits all it's not. It's the work that I do is exactly the same way.

spk_1:   46:20
Yeah, I love that. I know that I am. Yeah, move that. Going against some serious second, some serious words of a voice off your hair today there are going to take a minute to my profession. How much soya for this boiler team fortune Don't even give you a pair of these headphones that I'm wearing, A fair looking

spk_0:   46:48
know you're OK. Keep them for cash.

spk_1:   46:54
Marty really called. He wants his headphones back,

spk_0:   46:57
a

spk_1:   46:57
mercury, and Yeah, so one or two other things for let you go? Yeah, we're talking there, you know, both, um told my comfort zone and looking forward and come back into your comfort zone. And then that progressive and the progressive mindset. And what about people that find themselves being overwhelming, the pessimistic and procrastinating and last lock itself disciplining? What would you recommend for people that are consumed with that kind of talk process? What would you recommend for them to as a starting point to start off?

spk_0:   47:32
Yeah. And I hear that stuff all the time. So deal is a conversation that needs to be Hutch. When you have feelings in your body where, for example, you use the word pessimistic there. Yeah. What I would always go back in with the person is what are the talks? Because the tallest lead to feelings which result in behaviors and words. So what kind of tall it's is that person haven't so back into the command center in the brain? What's that internal dialogue like what is happening to that person on a daily basis. Now you need to drink the bejesus out of this because, like I said, everyone is different. That person is sitting in from to you. They have essential values. They have a belief system in the world. They have all of their own thoughts that are going on in their heads. They have their own reservations about themselves, about the world around them. They have been through human conditioning. There's environmental factors, so many things at play there. So that step one is have a conversation around. What? What are the talks inside your head? Sometimes there could be limiting beliefs there in terms of what they think. It's possible for them that all needs to be challenged when it comes to procrastination, always behind procrastination, there is a fear, a fear of failure, fear of rejection, A fear of judgment. Affair has not been good enough. There's a reason that we keep putting the tang over here, because when we sit down and we eat a domino's on, we watch Netflix. We're not procrastinating that because we know that we have a lush writing the reason people keep requested. In always, there is some fear behind pain there, procrastination. And when you can get into the roof of what the reason for the procrastination is, then you are in a position to challenge the whole process behind us, and from there you can start to move forward.

spk_1:   49:19
I love that well, that it's acknowledgement of the fair, really, isn't it? And

spk_0:   49:24
it's a few. Yeah,

spk_1:   49:27
I showed so powerful. Fair is, you know, in our own heads do you find that something that the more you sit on it and the more you procrastinate that that manifests and it gets bigger and bigger.

spk_0:   49:37
Yes, remember your Brazel job. Keep your lights.

spk_1:   49:40
Keep your life here.

spk_0:   49:41
If it feels that there was trash of any capacity, remember that raid IRS old all the time. Scan it. So your brain, this is again. It's very simple. It's looking for facts. So it thinks to itself. Okay, when he doesn't hesitate when he puts the kettle on in the morning, he doesn't hesitate when he turns on the shower. He doesn't hesitate what he's hesitating when it comes to this. That was mean. There's danger and then it literally is like a general in your hate, and he just is launched. The troops on the court is always flawed. Your body, You have nausea, your body. Would you? Everything that it can to shut you down because it feels like potentially there is a fresh to your survival. So that's a part in your brain called the amygdala. It's it's operate enough old school reptilian brain where we came into the world and tribes. And, you know, your survival was potentially you've been accepted into a tribe or you've been rejected from a cave and a T rex outside DeLay with life. The trash gets on it. It's that stuff that's playing in the background all the time on. And when you talk to people about fear, if you can rationalize that shit makes a massive difference.

spk_1:   50:44
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Doors open and close that something went actually say it starts the podcast with the whole coffin. Anything we're recording from the kitchen, so there's gonna be kids crying. It was a long, more going there on stage. I don't know if you could hear that. With the okay. Fokine dog started barking off the back. I was like, Oh, Jesus, trying to concentrate.

spk_0:   51:06
Listen, that is usually to lean into that just lets people know that it's real.

spk_1:   51:11
Acknowledge, acknowledge and accept like things. And show that the dog

spk_0:   51:17
before I know. Yeah,

spk_1:   51:20
no, I am. No, that's incredible terrorists. And I'm not gonna take off too much more of your time. And as I say that is, a lot of questions rolled out. We didn't get to any of them, which is a fantastic thing because it showed how natural conversation was. It just float on. Thanks a 1,000,000 for that and won't don't think one thing I want to finish on and with this old called 19 um, a lot of people really sitting home feeling overwhelmed, the whole, not knowing the whole isolation. As you said, it's on charity territory. And what would be one standard piece of advice you get for anyone that's currently struggling,

spk_0:   51:58
I think, like, just stick to the basics. Um, control the controllable is like recognizing. You've heard people saying this in terms of control of the control of us, you don't recognize we've never done this before. We've never been to a golden pandemic. We've never had to try and work from warm and regard Podcast from home and you call is from home and record workouts and were all in that weird all words, not knowing what the future looks like and finding it hard in the now kind of headspace. Be very compassionate towards yourself on every single level, in terms off, except in that it's a bit of shit. Storm a diminished, but we're all feeling exactly the same. Been compassionate to yourself in terms off reinforcing that immune system, recognizing that your body is your amour and looking after in terms of your fuel and your water and your movement every day. Maximizing on your seek, which also rest on repair, make sure that aspects in there they make sure that your nurture in your mind So we talked about your internal dialogue. Make sure that you're either done Lorton in terms of journal in or having conversations with people that are around you every day. Make sure you're making connections, so talk to people every day being compassionate towards yourself in recognizing that a lot of your communication channels have been severs, you know, and it's it's role for so many people on I think recognizing when it comes to the relationships in your life, you need to have compassion. There is way. Your expectations of people before this are not realistic now. So whatever you thought was possible off the people that are around you and of yourself before we enter this, you need to be more compassionate now. So if I had one piece of advice in stash, you know, enter into every interaction and every transaction in your life, internally and externally, with compassion until we get out of this and when you start to see the word from the perspectives of people around you, like I see Safir's there and she's amazing doing your workouts and everything on the telly. And I know you have small people in the house. When you start to see life from those people's perspectives as well as your own, we have greater empathy for what mankind is going through on. I think that's gonna make the role, of course, for a hell of a lot easier to be on

spk_1:   54:09
big time, big time. And I love that mindset in that approach because it basically means don't be too hard on yourself, which I think I want these times a lot of people are they?

spk_0:   54:20
Yeah. Not know. Now is not a time to be hard on yourself. Now is the time for nurture. More than ever, we need to look after ourselves.

spk_1:   54:27
Absolutely. Terror. You're an absolute legend. Final question. My life. Compass 2021 can be expected

spk_0:   54:34
all the next one. When would you believe the 22? Pointing one. When it bit So it's on. Yes, will be. I was probably in October and there was another compass that was due to come out. Were we know two weeks ago I bought it. It didn't feel right, so I listened to the innovation. Yeah, on dime firm believer in, you know, knock on what? What's popular or what's do you know, kind of seem to be the right thing to do in terms off social media and stuff like that. I always June in words with that stuff on. I just didn't feel like it was the right time to launch us on, but it's ready, has been ready for months, but when the time feels right, there's another compass that's gonna come out. It's not. It's not a life compass in something else. Surprise complexes. It It's a surprise comeback. Surprise Compass. Yeah, it's class, and I'm excited for everyone to see ish, say, And you're the first person I told about it, actually. Exclusivo

spk_1:   55:33
expensive boom listening that doesn't know em. Terrorist Baby waas My life compass, I think, was 2018. Your first year. Terror. I think that's the

spk_0:   55:44
2000 and 19 I think wasn't it Was, uh, yeah, 2000 and 19 was the 1st 1 Was it? Yeah, it's amazing. I started going to that one in 20 years. E

spk_1:   55:54
Yeah, okay, so am I. It's basically joining. You want to just give a quick, quick

spk_0:   56:00
basically. Actually, all the things that we were just trying to boast. So it's kind of about

spk_1:   56:05
time supported Donald Paper.

spk_0:   56:06
Yeah, it's like a journal, and it's 1/2 a tracker. It's a gratitude Tracker and sleep log its success diary. So you integrate on your goals. It's a one stop shop for you. No progress and navigation Through year, I found I had laws, journals and lord driven notebooks, and I just put everything into one on. Yes, it is a tidy two. Now I have to say

spk_1:   56:26
Yeah, and I can I am. I can recommend the first time you sent me a copy there the first day. I think about 14 suffered. Sister is a Christmas present and you sent me on one for himself, which is really a pretty shared thanks again for that board who was amazing at the time. I watching one for a journal in or write nothing down until I don my life compass and put down what I loved about it. Waas It doesn't just have your reality goals, but it breaks it up into them 90 day steps and then as that review every night, two days, and it was such a wake up call for what have I accomplished? What can I look back on? Andi, you know, acknowledged that I've accomplished what we need to work hard around for the next 90 days. It is just so much in such a small little book that blows my mind on the blows. Your mind pull things down in such a structure. So what you need to do and what you need to get on and how to get there. So it's incredibly particularly of your guys stash half of what he heard A terror and her work. Definitely check out her website, which is under construction at the minute untold.

spk_0:   57:25
Yeah, crab cooking, super cops

spk_1:   57:32
arm. Actually, I'll tag your instagram in the work or not. The website is navigation coach dot com When that's back, open on and check it out. And definitely, definitely check out my life Compass and this new surprise compass. Wanna consult which I can't wait for

spk_0:   57:46
price problems. Yeah, Yeah. 2021 actually sold out, so they're pretty much guns. You can't get them online now, So the next one will be the 2021 20? Yeah.

spk_1:   57:56
Lovely. Lovely. Which, the way the weeks air flying will be here in no time.

spk_0:   58:00
I know. What's class?

spk_1:   58:01
Dismantle an electorate. You've been an absolute pressure. Thanks. A 1,000,000 for commands. The podcast again. You're actually the first guest, Believe it or not. So yeah.

spk_0:   58:10
Thank you. Had the rock was case parole?

spk_1:   58:14
Yeah. The rock was came to get up for the first step, so But I said no tire after you think entire your thanks a 1,000,000. I will talk to you soon. Okay?